My Birthday Tomorrow

It's my birthday tomorrow.  I haven't really been thinking a lot about it, overall.  My own birthday has been not so important to me the past 3 years.  First it was because of infertility (which made my birthday suck), and then last year because I had 12 day old little baby.  My birthday last year was wonderful.  I didn't receive any gifts, because I'd gotten them all months ahead of time.  But I was so happy to be with my little Monkey Boy.  It was just the best birthday.

The past couple of days I feel like I've been reflecting about my birthday a little more than usual.  This year I feel like it's special.  Not because I'm one year older, but because I'm one year more experienced as a mother.  Last year on my birthday I had a 12 day old baby.  I loved him fiercely and would have done anything to protect him.  I knew him as much as you can know a 12 day old baby.

But this year, I have this baby walking toward me...

This baby?  I KNOW this baby.  I have spent all day of every single day of the past year and 12 days pouring my heart and soul into caring for this child.  I have never felt anything as intensely as the love I feel for this baby.  I would do anything for him.  I would take a bullet, walk through fire, chop off my own arm... anything.  And he would do just about anything to get to me, because I am the greatest, the be-all and end-all in his little life.

I know this Noah much more deeply than I knew that teeny tiny Noah a year ago.  If you had told me a year ago that I would love Noah a thousand times more by my next birthday, I would have scoffed at you.  But it's true.  I do.  Maybe it's because there's more to know and more to love now that he's a toddler.  Maybe it's because so much more of me has been invested now.

Whatever it is, there is something about motherhood and my intense love for my son that makes this birthday seem special.

I really do love my kid more than anything in the world.  My birthday could be totally unacknowledged by anyone else, and I wouldn't care.  Because I'm a mom.  And that continues to be the best birthday present I could ever get.

1 YEAR OLD!

I am getting really bad at posting these on time. 

At 12 months old, here is what Noah is up to:

-He weighs 21lbs even, totally naked, on March 14 (he was 21lbs 11oz with his clothes and diaper on, which I then weighed, and they were exactly 11oz).

-He is still about 31.5 inches long.

-He wears size 3 diapers during the day, size 4 at night, which he often leaks through. 

-He still nurses 10+ times a day, and signs for it a lot more often that that!

-He still has just one formal "meal" of solids - mostly purees - at dinnertime. The rest of the day he snacks on various things, usually what I'm eating, as he wants them.. He's still about 90% breastfed, with solids making up the other 10%.

-He wears 18 and 24 month clothing, depend on the piece.  For example, he wears 24 month footless sleepers, but 18 month footed sleepers.  He wears some 18 month onesies, some 24 month onesies.  It just depends on the piece.

-He still has  just 8 teeth, the four top and four bottom.  He hasn't gotten a new tooth since before he was 8 months old.

-He goes to bed at about 7:30pm, sleeps until sometime past 4:30am (sometimes as late as 6:30am), nurses, and goes back to sleep again until about 7:30am, give or take.  The time changed a couple of weeks ago, and I don't think I'm interested in shifting everything the entire hour.  I think I'll keep bedtime at 7:30 for the spring and summertime.

-He has two naps a day, ranging from 30 minutes to an hour. The first nap is about 3 - 3.5 hours after he wakes up, and the second nap is about 3.5 hours after he wakes up from his first nap.  He can handle awake periods that are a lot longer, with no problem, but we have to fit in both naps so I make sure he gets down on time.

-He is fully walking, all over the house, turning corners, going in circles, waving objects in the air... it's so cute, but it makes me sad!

-He loves to throw balls (and anything else), play with his baseball bats, score points on his basketball hoop, hit his baseball off his Little Tikes Talking T-Ball tee, and practice stick handling with his mini-sticks and hockey puck.

-He "talks on the phone" by putting the phone (or an object that resembles a phone) all the way behind his head.  It's sooo cute!

-He's still cuddling with us a lot, which we obviously love!

-He still loves to give Mommy kisses (sometimes Daddy, sometimes other babies, and once even Gramper!), but he's not as obsessed with it as he was at 11 months.  I've found it comes in waves, ever since he started bakc at like 7 months old.

-He's still a mommy suck, but he is getting a little better about his separation anxiety.  I don't always have to be in the same room as him if other people are around.

-I can now shower with him in the bathroom with me and he doesn't scream!  Instead he stands at the side of the tub and throws shampoo bottles, toys, and one time even a magazine, into the tub with me.  This is a very welcome development.  Not the toy-throwing, but the lack of screaming while I'm showering.

-He loves to play in the curtains.  He breathes really excitedly, giggles, and pops his head out with a huge smile when I say "Where's Noah?!"

-He is still lounging on the floor like a lazy toddler, rolling back and forth and just enjoying being a goof.

-It is so hard to change his diaper.  He often starts screaming, and won't lie on his back.  I've taken to trying to change him while he's walking around.  Every diaper change is a dreaded battle.  Thank goodness he doesn't poop very often.

-It's always hard to know exactly how much an 12 month old understands, but we know for sure he knows the meanings of: Mom, Dad, nurse, up, night-night, hug, kiss, no, this, book, "say hi," "say bye," and "lean back". He demonstrates understanding of those words through his actions. I'm guessing he knows a lot more, but I can't tell.

-He says "Uh oh," "Dis," "Dat," "Mama," and "Dad" or "Dada". It seems like he says all these things in the right settings, but he also uses them at other times, so I don't know if he's really using them as words or just sounds.

-He loves to "read" (flip through his books independently) His favourite book for us to read to him is Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?  He gets a huge smile on his face when we start it.


Well, it happened.  My baby turned ONE.  Over a week ago. 

It makes me so happy, and it makes me sad.  I love each new stage that Noah goes through (well, I guess not every stage), but it makes me so sad that I can never experience his infant-ness again.  People tell me to have another baby, and while I'm happy that I will (hopefully) experience another baby (or two), it's still not baby Noah.  And that's what I want.  To experience baby Noah again.

With that being said, I feel like being a mom just  keeps getting easier and more enjoyable.  The past year of my life has been phenomenal, and I couldn't be happier.  Nothing in my life has ever been as 'worth it' as being Noah's mom has been.  I love that kid to pieces!

The Walking Ill

Noah is still really sick.  He looks like someone beat him up, with his raw, red nose and his raw, red bruises under his eyes.  On Monday he had diarrhea 20 times in 24 hours and ended up with the worst diaper rash all over his bottom.  He's still having diarrhea, but not nearly that often.  He is still really congested, coughing, sneezing, and snotting.  Advil seems to actually give him a slight break from the intense snot production.  This didn't make sense to me at first, but Justin said something about how mucus and sneezing are inflammatory responses, so an anti-inflammatory could help those things.  I guess that makes sense!  I've never noticed it to be true for myself, but every single time I've given Noah Advil in the past 4 days, things have improved shortly afterward, but only for the length of time that the Advil would actually be effective for.  Interesting.

Thankfully his sleeping is still really good.  Even though he's coughing fairly frequently throughout his naps and at night, he is still not getting up to nurse until sometime after 4:30am, his normal time, and he is still sleeping until 7-7:30am.  Yesterday, Tuesday, he even had 3 naps!  Two 1 hour long naps and one 35 minute nap.  He hasn't had 3 naps in a day in ages. 

Today Noah was a little more content and active than he was in the previous 3 days.  He is walking nonstop now.  He still crawls about 25% of the time, but he is mostly walking.  He is walking across the entire house and going around corners and into different rooms and everything.  He never falls or bumps into anything, because he is a very careful kid.  He started taking steps 2 months ago, but he is so cautious that whenever he felt a little bit unbalanced, he would stop and carefully lower himself down.  If he was braver, he would have been fully walking a month ago.  Instead, he practiced a little bit everyday, and then waited until he was fully confident.  No drunken sailor walks in our house!


It has occured to me that if we hadn't decided that I am staying at home permanently, Monday would have been my first day back from maternity leave (I was due to start back after March break).  I wouldn't have been able to go.  I couldn't have abandoned Noah when he was so sick and just wanted his Mommy.  Besides that, he is pretty much refusing solids (just a couple of tablespoons at dinner), wants to comfort nurse frequently, but is only taking in about 2/3 of what he normally takes (that's an estimate, obviously, since my boobs aren't equipped with any measuring devices).  I really couldn't have left him this week, unless I wanted him to get malnourished. 

Justin and I never stop being thankful for our decision for me to stay home.  Yes, it's a struggle.  We have had to cut back on a lot, and Justin has to do a lot more training during his free time in order to make us more money so we can make ends meet.  But we wouldn't have it any other way.

New Carseat Guidelines

The AAP has put out new carseat guidelines.

Check them out here.

Are you going to follow them?  I know a lot of parents who had/have their children forward-facing before the previous 1 year of age recommendation.  I'm not so sure how well these recommendations are going to go over, despite the fact that there are good reasons for them!

My Poor, Sick One Year Old

Um, yeah, you read that right.  He's sick.  AGAIN.

It started out with extreme fussiness on Friday, his birthday, then a fever in the evening.  Then on Saturday, the day of his birthday party, it had progressed to what seemed like a mild cold, with a fever off and on.  By Sunday it was a bad cold, with some diarrhea thrown in for good measure.  Now, Monday, it's worse. 

I'm thinking he maybe has the flu.  He has congestion, a runny nose, lots of sneezing, a bad cough (that makes him throw up), fever, he had chills at one point on Saturday night, and he has crazy diarrhea.  He has had over 15 runny poops in the past 24 hours.  The last few diapers have had streaks of blood in them.  He has zero appetite for solid food - not even fruit.  He's just been nursing often, for comfort, but he's not even that hungry.  Luckily he is still about 90% breastfed, so I have more than enough milk.  I'm not worried about dehydration or him not getting enough nutrition.

Because of all the diarrhea I was worried about how last night would go.  It actually wasn't that bad, but we did have several diaper changes.  Noah didn't make a peep until 4am.  When I went in, I could smell the strange scent of his dirty diaper (it really is a strange scent right now).  I changed his diaper and it was FULL of runny poop.  I don't know if it was all from one poop, or several poops.  He tends to not really care much when he has a dirty diaper.

So he was screaming and choking on mucus while I was changing him, as I expected - he hates getting his bum changed in the middle of the night.  Then I nursed him, and he pooped again (a smaller runny poop this time) while I was nursing him, so I had to change him again after that. Then he asked to nurse again, but didn't really want to nurse; he just wanted comfort.  He acted like he might have pooped again, so I checked and didn't see anything (it was dark, though). Then that whole process got repeated again, but by then it was half an hour later and he was really tired, and I didn't smell anything, and he was just closing his eyes in my arms, not nursing, so I just put him to bed. He woke up at 6:45am, but went back to sleep in a couple of minutes. He woke back up at 7:30 and had a lot of runny poop again. He was screaming and choking and throwing up while I was changing his bum. Then I nursed him, and he did a big runny poop again.

I think you're getting the picture.  That was all mostly for my own benefit.



I think this is the sickest he's ever been.  I cancelled babysitting Aubrey tomorrow, because a) I don't think she wants to get this, and b) I can't take care of another baby right now.  Noah is very needy and cuddly and huggy and upset. 

Poor little kid.  Not a very nice birthday present:(

Mommy and Noah

Mommy and Noah at 10 months old...

That's love.

Happy Birthday, Noah!

On March 18, 2010, at 1:54pm, our lives changed forever for the better! This past year has absolutely been the best year of my life, and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!!  I am so thankful to be able to say...

Happy first birthday to our dear son, Noah!!  You were worth the wait :)


For this child we prayed, and God has given us what we asked of him. – 1 Samuel 1:27.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights... - James 1:17

I Dislike Drama

Why do some people like drama so much?

Not long ago, Kendra at Miracle of the Moment linked to another post about having thin skin.  I don't have the energy to go find that original post, but I did read it at the time, and I've been thinking about it a lot, lately.

I have thin skin.  I never thought about it much, and I used to like to think that I didn't care what people thought of me.  But it's not true.  I mean, I don't care to the extent that I will change who I am or what I believe in and how I live my life.  But I do care what people think of me.  When people are jerks, it hurts my feelings.  When people say mean things about me, it hurts my feelings.  When people don't like me, it hurts my feelings.  If I even am aware that someone thought something unflattering about me, it hurts my feelings.

I really need to grow some thicker skin.

I hate drama.  I am not a dramatic person, and to avoid drama I have always kept my circle tight.  I'm not friends with everybody.  I am friendly with a lot of people, but I tend to keep my distance from all but a few people, because I find the more people you're friends with, the more drama leaks into your life.

Facebook is becoming a problem for me.  Mainly because I can't choose which information is shared with which people.  Why can't you choose who can see your links, and who can see which pictures you "like," and who can see what you post on other peoples walls and pictures?  They used to have that option.  I used to have it so that no one was notified when I did anything - except the person who's wall/photo/status I was commenting on.  Then they took that option away.

When I make a comment on someone's status or photo, I don't need EVERYONE on my friend's list to see that.  Here's an example: I like the FB page called The Leaky B@@b.  I think it is a great place for breastfeeding moms to come together and support each other and answer each other's questions.  However, I do NOT need everyone on my friend's list to see every time I comment on someone's post or question, or everytime I "like" someone's picture of breastfeeding their baby!! 

My mom called my house today and left a message saying that she was getting all these pornographic posts on her wall from me.  I thought I had a virus.  I called her, and she was making a joke about the breastfeeding pictures I had "liked".  I didn't think it was that funny, because I take offence when people compare breastfeeding to pornography.  Maybe that's an area where I should grow some thicker skin.  But I also didn't think it was funny because I don't need my entire friend's list to see every flippin picture I "like"!  I pressed "like" because I wanted to support the person who posted the picture - not so I could show my 270 friends all the pictures!!!

I have been slowly deleting friends because of some of these issues.  But I am having a hard time deleting more friends.  A lot of these people I am interested in, and they are interested in me.  But I don't need them to see every single move I make on facebook.  Seriously.

I don't know what to do?  Stop supporting breastfeeding moms on facebook, or delete 3/4 of my friends?

Furthermore, one of my husband's longtime friends (who he was supposedly so "close" to that he had to call her the day we got engaged so he could inform her personally) has decided to take it upon herself to be a total bitch to me.  She apparently thinks she can say anything she wants to or about me, and that's okay.  Apparently she doesn't realize that if you are FRIENDS with someone, you should be respectful towards his wife.  This all started because of that flippin breastmilk ice cream newstory I posted on my wall - the one that caused all the drama a week ago.  I would like to just delete her off my facebook completely - heck I'd like to delete her off my husband's facebook, as well.  But I don't know which is more dramatic - her being deleted, or her being a snot.

Anyway, I have two different agendas on facebook.  One is to be part of external communities on parenting and other similar topics.  Another is to keep up with friends and family.  Frankly, I don't want the two to mix.  Apparently I don't have a choice.  So do I grow some thicker skin, and not care what my "friends" see me comment or "like" with regards to various parenting issues?  Or do I stop being an active part of those communities?

I don't think I like facebook all that much.

"Breastfeeding Saved My Son's Life"

I just read this amazing post, called Breastfeeding Saved My Son's Life. 

It wasn't what I expected, and was really an amazing story.  Go check it out!

Walking Update

It's been awhile since I wrote about Noah's walking.  Last time I wrote he was 11 months and 4 days old, and had started taking up to 8 steps at a time.

He is now 11 months and 3 weeks old, and in the past few days has started to walk a lot more frequently.  He is very very careful when he walks, which means he sits down as soon as he is uncomfortable with how unsteady he feels.  But he is attempting it often.  Almost every chance he gets.  He has taken more than 8 steps at a time - at times he has walked as far as 9 feet.

He can also stand up out of nowhere.  He doesn't need to hold on to anything or be near anything.  He'll be crawling around, then he just gets himself in a squatting position and stands right up!  That started right around 11.5 months.

I don't know when you consider a baby to be a "walker."  I kind of think its not until they choose walking over crawling as their primary mode of transportation.  Either way, he is definitely walking!