Isaiah's Birth Story (For Real)

Early Labour

My due date with Isaiah was October 10, 2012.  My midwife, Christine, and I had agreed that once I hit 37 weeks, we would begin doing stretch and sweeps on a weekly basis.  The point of this was to help me not go overdue, since I had been in such bad pain for so long (starting at 7 weeks).  It usually takes several stretch and sweeps for them to do anything (and some people will swear they don't do anything at all), so we thought starting at 37 weeks might hopefully mean I'd have the baby around 39 weeks.

I had a midwife appointment on Thursday September 20, at which I was 37 weeks 1 day.  I had been checking myself for weeks, and had been dilated for quite awhile.  I already knew before going to the appointment that I was at least 2cm dilated, which Christine confirmed when she did the internal.  I was 2cm, very soft, but still kind of long (the length of my cervix varied hourly, depending on how low Isaiah's head was at the moment).  She did a really good stretch and sweep.  Like, really good.  It hurt, like it is supposed to.  Afterward I bled.  Not just spotting, but like the bloody show I had with Noah when I was in active labour.  It was not excessive bleeding, but enough to know things really got stirred up in there.

My appointment was at 11am, and by 12pm I was having very frequent BH.  They were uncomfortable and achy (my back was especially achy), but not super painful.  Noah and I spent the afternoon with my Dad at my parents' house, and I tried to walk around a bunch to "help things along" (keep in mind, however, that I thought I was just dilating further, not actually going into labour.  You're supposed to be crampy after a stretch and sweep.)

By the late afternoon I was more crampy and achy.  I was really hoping that I was actually dilating, because otherwise it really sucked.  That night I went to bed a little before 10. It wasn't a good sleep to start out with. I was up already at 10:40 to pee. Then I was up to pee at least every hour, and also awakened by significant (and even more painful) contractions on a regular basis.

At 2am the contractions got worse. They were every 3-7 minutes and they hurt like hell. I'm pretty sure that laying on my side was the absolute worst position for me to be in during them, but I kept hoping that relaxing and staying in bed would make them go away.  It didn't.

I finally started timing them with an app on my iPod, and between 3:30 and 5am I had 20 brutal contractions. Then the app wouldn't time any more because I'm cheap and won't pay for the full version.  Meanwhile, I kept going to the bathroom and the "bloody show" was increasing from the day before.

Finally around 5:30 the contractions started spacing out a little bit more until they were coming every 15 minutes.  I figured this wasn't 'real' labour.

When I got out of bed Friday morning (keep in mind I'd been awake since 2am) I felt really nauseous.  I was confused, because nausea is supposed to be a sign that labour is imminent, but my contractions had spaced out.  There were only 3 or 4 an hour until about 10:30am when my sister got here (we had previously planned the visit, thank goodness). They started to increase in frequency then, and they got really friggin painful. Some of them weren't so bad, but many of them were at a 7/10 on the pain scale. I could deal with them better if I was standing up, best if I was leaning over resting on something. Sitting or lying down they hurt waaay worse. I thought that was weird.

So, all during Friday I was contracting painfully every 7 minutes, each contraction lasting 1 minute.  I also had the runs (also a sign of imminent labour), and I continued to bleed (although the bleeding didn't increase).

Around 4pm I called my midwife.  I didn't think I really needed to, I just wanted reassurance that this is going to go away! The conversation was as fruitless as I thought it was going to be (not Christine's fault, it was just the nature of my labour). She told me to try and get some rest. Take a Gravol and some Tylenol (already done several times, it did nothing). Have a hot bath (the water in my bathtub doesn't cover my belly, so that's a bit useless). Try and sleep between contractions tonight (ummmm... not gonna happen). Page her again if things get longer, stronger, or closer together. Page her again if it's still like this tomorrow afternoon (that would be Saturday).

Around 9pm on Friday contractions slowed to about every 10 minutes.  However, the bloody show was back with a vengeance   At midnight that night I checked myself after an especially painful contraction (I'd been avoiding doing this because I was sore down there from the stretch and sweep).  I felt like I was more dilated.  The baby's head was low, and I could feel his water sack bulging.  Shortly after checking myself my contractions got closer together.  They were coming every 3-4 minutes for awhile, and we thought we might actually have the baby before Noah woke up around 7am.  We were running around the house getting things ready - blowing up the pool, vacuuming, doing laundry, backing up pictures and videos so we could clear the SD cards in our cameras, etc.  Really, Justin was doing most of this, but I was doing my part to get things ready between contractions.

I also took my last belly picture:

By 3:30am nothing had changed.  Contractions spaced out to every 7-10 minutes again.  They were longer, stronger, and more painful, but not closer together.  I gave up and told Justin to go to bed.  I went to bed too, but I didn't sleep a wink that whole night.

The next morning things continued the exact same way.  At about 10:30am I called my midwife.  Things were just too ridiculous to wait until the afternoon.  She said she had actually been anticipating that I would call her in the middle of the night (so was I!).  She had a home visit to make at 11:30, and then she was coming to our house around 1.  She said with the strength of my contractions she'd be really surprised if I'd had no cervical change, and we'd try a few tricks to speed things up.

Midwife Arrives

Christine arrived right around 1.  She took my vitals, and we hung out for awhile while she timed my contractions.  They did not perform well for her.  I had a long, strong one.  Then 10 minutes later had a weak, 30-40 second one.  Then 10 minutes later I had a medium one.  It was lame.

Around 1:45 or 2pm she checked my cervix.  Remember, on Thursday (about 50 hours earlier) I was 2cm.  I was now a very very stretchy 6cm.  She could stretch me to 8cm with no problem.  She and I were both pretty pleased with that, and she said "Lauren, you're having that baby today!"  I'm pretty sure I replied with "Oh thank the LORD!"  She asked if she could do another stretch and sweep, and I said yes.  This one wasn't as long as the first one, but I think it was equally painful.

Active Labour

Immediately after the stretch (so around 2pm) my contractions started coming every 3-4 minutes and they were even stronger and more intense.  She had previously suggested that I take a labour tincture, and I asked her if I really needed to, considering I was suddenly in active labour.  She said "Yes, take it, we want to make sure the contractions stay regular."  She was thinking she'd give me a couple of doses, but I ended up only taking one.

I called my mom and said "Alright, I'm in labour, come on over!  Like, NOW, I'm 6cm.  And call Giliane."  I was really needing her to arrive, because I needed support from someone.  My midwife was busy setting up all her supplies and equipment, and Justin was playing with Noah in the basement.  In between contractions I yelled down to him that I needed the pool filled ASAP.  It was one thing when contractions were every 7-10 minutes.  It was a whole other thing when they were every 3-4 minutes!

I'm not sure what time my Mom arrived.  Basically from the time Christine stretched my cervix and onward I have no idea what time anything happened until Isaiah was actually born.  But she did arrive, and once she did she rubbed my back hard through a few contractions.  Then the pool was ready, so she went downstairs to distract Noah while I got in the water.

I laboured in the water for awhile, and it was much better than labouring on land.  The water was really  hot, which felt great for the contractions, but it was heating me up so I had a fan blowing on me and Justin was bringing me cold washcloths for my face, neck, and chest.  At some point during this another midwife arrived.  It wasn't my second or third midwife, because neither of them were available.  It was the fourth midwife in the practice - the one I had never even met.  I didn't really care though, because Christine was there and she was in charge.

At some point Christine suggested we get out of the pool and talk about breaking my water.  They also wanted to take my vitals.  I didn't really want to artificially break my water, because I didn't want things to get worse and I knew they would.  However, her reasoning went something like this: "It's not a bad idea, Lauren.  It would be good to know the colour of the water.  If there's meconium we won't have time to get to the hospital, but we can call EMS to wait outside just in case the baby aspirated any of it.  It will likely make the contractions more intense, but the baby will probably be here in about half an hour."  Christine is not usually a "break the water" kind of person (she had 4 or 5 babies born in the caul in the last year), so I think this was mostly because a) I live 25 minutes from the hospital, and b) I'd been in labour for 2 days already.

Anyway, we walked to the bedroom and I had a bunch of contractions. Let me tell you, they SUCKED out of the water (not that they rocked in the water, but they were certainly better!).  They took my pulse, which was high, and my blood pressure, which was super low (like, 80/35 or something crazy like that).  The baby's heart rate was also high.  We determined that all of this was because the water in the pool was too hot, so we agreed to add more cold water before I got back in.

I hemmed and hawed for awhile about the water-breaking thing, but then just decided to go for it because if there was meconium in the water and if the baby had aspirated any of it, I wanted to make sure EMS would be there to suction out his lungs.

At this point I was 7-8 cm dilated.  Christine broke my water and they carefully examined it for meconium.  A lot of bloody show came out with the water, so there were a couple of spots they looked at closely with a flashlight, but it was determined that the water was clear.  Relief.

I got back in the tub.  My contractions were a lot more intense.  I had already been feeling pushy during them, and that continued.  Before now I was quiet during the contractions, but now I had to moan lowly through them.

I believe about half an hour passed (it must have been about 4:24pm) when I had a particularly pushy-sounding contraction.  Christine asked me if I felt like pushing, and I said yes, so she said she would check me.  She had me change positions so that my bottom was facing in a better direction (the way I was facing there wasn't really any access for the midwives for when the baby came).  This was tough to do, but I managed.  While I was moving I said that I didn't want to push, because pushing was scary (we have this all on video, which is how I remember this part so clearly).  I said Noah just pushed himself out of me and I didn't really have to do anything, and I really didn't want a long drawn out pushing phase with this baby.  Christine encouraged me, of course, and then checked my cervix.  I was 9 cm with a little bit of length left.  This was at 4:26.

Christine and Joanne (second midwife) then told me I should get out of the pool, go to the bathroom, and have a few contractions on land.  I didn't have to pee, and I really didn't want to try and walk, but I agreed.  They helped me out of the prone position and onto my knees, but right when I got on my knees I had a huge contraction and started pushing uncontrollably.  They could tell from my noises, so Christine started telling me not to push.  I said "I can't help it I'm pushing like crazy!"  She said, "You're only 9 cm Lauren, you're not ready.  Say 'house house house' it's pretty impossible to push when you're saying that."  

I ignored this, because it's actually pretty impossible to say "House" when you're pushing :)  And there was no way I was able to stop what my body was doing.  I was on my knees in the pool with my hand down there feeling what was going on.  At that point Justin (who was off camera) said "Breathe deep, babe, just stop pushing."  I took my hand off of myself and waved it him in a "Just be quiet, you don't know what you're talking about" kind of way.  Not that I was mad, but I had 3 people telling me to stop pushing when I knew this kid was coming out NOW.

Right after doing that I put my hand back down there and everything was pushing outward and I could feel myself opening up.  While pushing I said, "Nope... he's coming."  Christine said "He's coming?  Okay," really calmly and walked over to get gloves and equipment ready.  I think Joanne was like "Oh my goodness get your gloves on!" But Christine said, "She's okay, she's got this."  And I totally did.  This was the part where I felt 100% in control.  All my pain seemed to be gone, and I wasn't feeling any of the stretching or the "ring of fire" from crowning.  The water seemed to make it all go away.

At this point I just pushed his head out.  I was kneeling in the tub with my hand on his head, and it felt amazing.  I couldn't believe his head was out of me.  Christine unwrapped the cord from around his neck (it was looped once, like Noah's), then told me to bring my legs back and push his shoulders out.  I didn't really need any coaching, because it was all just happening on it's own, but I kind of moved backward (although I can't remember what position I was in) and pushed the rest of him out (4:29pm).  Christine and I lifted him up onto my chest.  It was such a relief!  He was soooo tiny, I could tell immediately that he was smaller than Noah was at birth.  It took him 20 seconds to start crying, and there was talk of cutting the cord (they thought he might need resuscitation), but I knew he would be fine.  I rubbed the bottom of his feet and talked to him and he immediately started crying.

So, from the time I was checked and told I was 9 cm to when Isaiah came out was 3 minutes.  I was pushing for about 2 of those minutes, but it was basically just one long instinctual push.  Nothing needed to be coached, it was just my body doing what it had to do to get the baby out.  I loved it.

Within a few minutes of his birth I got out of the tub so they could assess my bleeding (it's hard to tell when you're bleeding into water).  My midwifes lifted me up while I was still holding Isaiah and I got on the couch.  Within about 2 minutes of that I delivered the placenta.  Then all the other stuff went on.  Checking for tears (I had a small first degree tear - which is kind of amazing considering he came out so quickly I had no time to stretch - it must have been the water), sutures, some uterine massage, etc.  I was just cuddling Isaiah this whole time.  He nursed about 30-45 minutes after he was born (he wasn't interested before that), 20 minutes on each side.

After I was done being stitched, my mom, sister, and Noah came upstairs.  Noah was pretty excited about his little brother being on the outside now.  The first thing he said was "He is so little and tiny!!  Awww... he's so cute!"

Eventually I was ready to have him weighed (7lbs), measured (20 inches, with a 13 inch head - 1.8 inches smaller than Noah's!) and examined.  This was all done on the couch next to me, so I could be touching him the whole time.

(I just saw that I'm holding Noah's hand in this picture:)

Christine stayed until... actually, I don't know.  At some point I got off the couch and she helped me shower and get dressed.  The shower went a lot smoother than my shower after giving birth to Noah, where I felt like I was going to pass out.  My Dad showed up right after I got out of the shower.  I guess he'd been at home just waiting for someone to tell him to come over, but we never got around to it, so he took it upon himself to come visit.  My mom ordered pizza for everyone for dinner, and Christine stayed for that.  I'm thinking she must have left around 7 or 7:30, after reviewing all the "things to watch out for" with me.  My mom bathed Noah for us, but I did end up nursing him before he went to bed.

After Noah went to bed my inlaws showed up for a brief visit.  I wasn't there for most of it because I was changing Isaiah's diaper and then nursing him again (while relaxing in bed).  

It was Saturday evening and I had been awake since Thursday at 2am, so I really wanted to go to bed and crash, but I was just way too keyed up to sleep.  I kept replaying the birth in my head.  In a weird way I am sad that it's over.  It's like after your wedding - you are anticipating it for so long and then it goes so quickly and all you have is the memories.  Although in this case I have my actual baby:)  But still.  It's the same sort of "Well... that's over" feeling.

I did end up getting about 4 hours of sleep that night, which was good.  The next night I only got one hour, and I believe I had a meltdown that day.

All in all, my birth was amazing.  I mean, it would have been nice if I didn't have 2 days of early labour with zero sleep, but since it ended up bringing me my baby and I still had a wonderful home birth, with my midwife who I love, it doesn't really bother me.  It makes for an interesting story, anyway.

We all couldn't stop talking about how awesome it was to have a home birth.  It's too bad more people don't do it.  It's awesome to give birth and already be in your own house, on your own couch, going to sleep in your own bed.  You're not woken up by nurses every 3 hours, and there aren't tons of people poking and prodding you and your baby.  The midwife comes to your house for a visit the next day, and on days 3 and 5 (at least they do where I live) to check on you and the baby.

It was just such a calm, comfortable experience.  Christine was so calm, comforting, and encouraging.   I couldn't have asked for a caretaker that I felt more comfortable with and who was more my style.  If I ever have another baby I can only hope she's still practicing in my area.

So, that's the super long story of how Isaiah Matthew made his entrance into our lives.  I didn't think I could immediately love another baby as much as I love Noah, but I totally do.  

Isaiah's Birth Story

Early Labour

My due date with Isaiah was October 10, 2012.  My midwife, Christine, and I had agreed that once I hit 37 weeks, we would begin doing stretch and sweeps on a weekly basis.  The point of this was to help me not go overdue, since I had been in such bad pain for so long (starting at 7 weeks).  It usually takes several stretch and sweeps for them to do anything (and some people will swear they don't do anything at all), so we thought starting at 37 weeks might hopefully mean I'd have the baby around 39 weeks.

I had a midwife appointment on Thursday September 20, at which I was 37 weeks 1 day.  I had been checking myself for weeks, and had been dilated for quite awhile.  I already knew before going to the appointment that I was at least 2cm dilated, which Christine confirmed when she did the internal.  I was 2cm, very soft, but still kind of long (the length of my cervix varied hourly, depending on how low Isaiah's head was at the moment).  She did a really good stretch and sweep.  Like, really good.  It hurt, like it is supposed to.  Afterward I bled.  Not just spotting, but like the bloody show I had with Noah when I was in active labour.  It was not excessive bleeding, but enough to know things really got stirred up in there.

My appointment was at 11am, and by 12pm I was having very frequent BH.  They were uncomfortable and achy (my back was especially achy), but not super painful.  Noah and I spent the afternoon with my Dad at my parents' house, and I tried to walk around a bunch to "help things along" (keep in mind, however, that I thought I was just dilating further, not actually going into labour.  You're supposed to be crampy after a stretch and sweep.)

By the late afternoon I was more crampy and achy.  I was really hoping that I was actually dilating, because otherwise it really sucked.  That night I went to bed a little before 10. It wasn't a good sleep to start out with. I was up already at 10:40 to pee. Then I was up to pee at least every hour, and also awakened by significant (and even more painful) contractions on a regular basis.

At 2am the contractions got worse. They were every 3-7 minutes and they hurt like hell. I'm pretty sure that laying on my side was the absolute worst position for me to be in during them, but I kept hoping that relaxing and staying in bed would make them go away.  It didn't.

I finally started timing them with an app on my iPod, and between 3:30 and 5am I had 20 brutal contractions. Then the app wouldn't time any more because I'm cheap and won't pay for the full version.  Meanwhile, I kept going to the bathroom and the "bloody show" was increasing from the day before.

Finally around 5:30 the contractions started spacing out a little bit more until they were coming every 15 minutes.  I figured this wasn't 'real' labour.

When I got out of bed Friday morning (keep in mind I'd been awake since 2am) I felt really nauseous.  I was confused, because nausea is supposed to be a sign that labour is imminent, but my contractions had spaced out.  There were only 3 or 4 an hour until about 10:30am when my sister got here (we had previously planned the visit, thank goodness). They started to increase in frequency then, and they got really friggin painful. Some of them weren't so bad, but many of them were at a 7/10 on the pain scale. I could deal with them better if I was standing up, best if I was leaning over resting on something. Sitting or lying down they hurt waaay worse. I thought that was weird.

So, all during Friday I was contracting painfully every 7 minutes, each contraction lasting 1 minute.  I also had the runs (also a sign of imminent labour), and I continued to bleed (although the bleeding didn't increase).

Around 4pm I called my midwife.  I didn't think I really needed to, I just wanted reassurance that this is going to go away! The conversation was as fruitless as I thought it was going to be (not Christine's fault, it was just the nature of my labour). She told me to try and get some rest. Take a Gravol and some Tylenol (already done several times, it did nothing). Have a hot bath (the water in my bathtub doesn't cover my belly, so that's a bit useless). Try and sleep between contractions tonight (ummmm... not gonna happen). Page her again if things get longer, stronger, or closer together. Page her again if it's still like this tomorrow afternoon (that would be Saturday).

Around 9pm on Friday contractions slowed to about every 10 minutes.  However, the bloody show was back with a vengeance   At midnight that night I checked myself after an especially painful contraction (I'd been avoiding doing this because I was sore down there from the stretch and sweep).  I felt like I was more dilated.  The baby's head was low, and I could feel his water sack bulging.  Shortly after checking myself my contractions got closer together.  They were coming every 3-4 minutes for awhile, and we thought we might actually have the baby before Noah woke up around 7am.  We were running around the house getting things ready - blowing up the pool, vacuuming, doing laundry, backing up pictures and videos so we could clear the SD cards in our cameras, etc.  Really, Justin was doing most of this, but I was doing my part to get things ready between contractions.

I also took my last belly picture:

By 3:30am nothing had changed.  Contractions spaced out to every 7-10 minutes again.  They were longer, stronger, and more painful, but not closer together.  I gave up and told Justin to go to bed.  I went to bed too, but I didn't sleep a wink that whole night.

The next morning things continued the exact same way.  At about 10:30am I called my midwife.  Things were just too ridiculous to wait until the afternoon.  She said she had actually been anticipating that I would call her in the middle of the night (so was I!).  She had a home visit to make at 11:30, and then she was coming to our house around 1.  She said with the strength of my contractions she'd be really surprised if I'd had no cervical change, and we'd try a few tricks to speed things up.

Midwife Arrives

Christine arrived right around 1.  She took my vitals, and we hung out for awhile while she timed my contractions.  They did not perform well for her.  I had a long, strong one.  Then 10 minutes later had a weak, 30-40 second one.  Then 10 minutes later I had a medium one.  It was lame.

Around 1:45 or 2pm she checked my cervix.  Remember, on Thursday (about 50 hours earlier) I was 2cm.  I was now a very very stretchy 6cm.  She could stretch me to 8cm with no problem.  She and I were both pretty pleased with that, and she said "Lauren, you're having that baby today!"  I'm pretty sure I replied with "Oh thank the LORD!"  She asked if she could do another stretch and sweep, and I said yes.  This one wasn't as long as the first one, but I think it was equally painful.

Active Labour

Immediately after the stretch (so around 2pm) my contractions started coming every 3-4 minutes and they were even stronger and more intense.  She had previously suggested that I take a labour tincture, and I asked her if I really needed to, considering I was suddenly in active labour.  She said "Yes, take it, we want to make sure the contractions stay regular."  She was thinking she'd give me a couple of doses, but I ended up only taking one.

I called my mom and said "Alright, I'm in labour, come on over!  Like, NOW, I'm 6cm.  And call Giliane."  I was really needing her to arrive, because I needed support from someone.  My midwife was busy setting up all her supplies and equipment, and Justin was playing with Noah in the basement.  In between contractions I yelled down to him that I needed the pool filled ASAP.  It was one thing when contractions were every 7-10 minutes.  It was a whole other thing when they were every 3-4 minutes!

I'm not sure what time my Mom arrived.  Basically from the time she stretched my cervix and onward I have no idea what time anything happened until Isaiah was actually born.  But she did arrive, and once she did she rubbed my back hard through a few contractions.  Then the pool was ready, so she went downstairs to distract Noah while I got in the water.

I laboured in the water for awhile, and it was much better than labouring on land.  The water was really  hot, which felt great for the contractions, but it was heating me up so I had a fan blowing on me and Justin was bringing me cold washcloths for my face, neck, and chest.  At some point during this another midwife arrived.  It wasn't my second or third midwife, because neither of them were available.  It was the fourth midwife in the practice - the one I had never even met.  I didn't really care though, because Christine was there and she was in charge.

At some point Christine suggested we get out of the pool and talk about breaking my water.  They also wanted to take my vitals.  I didn't really want to artificially break my water, because I didn't want things to get worse and I knew they would.  However, her reasoning went something like this: "It's not a bad idea, Lauren.  It would be good to know the colour of the water.  If there's meconium we won't have time to get to the hospital, but we can call EMS to wait outside just in case the baby aspirated any of it.  It will likely make the contractions more intense, but the baby will probably be here in about half an hour."  Christine is not usually a "break the water" kind of person (she had 4 or 5 babies born in the caul in the last year), so I think this was mostly because a) I live 25 minutes from the hospital, and b) I'd been in labour for 2 days already.

Anyway, we walked to the bedroom and I had a bunch of contractions. Let me tell you, they SUCKED out of the water (not that they rocked in the water, but they were certainly better!).  They took my pulse, which was high, and my blood pressure, which was super low (like, 80/35 or something crazy like that).  The baby's heart rate was also high.  We determined that all of this was because the water in the pool was too hot, so we agreed to add more cold water before I got back in.

I hemmed and hawed for awhile about the water-breaking thing, but then just decided to go for it because if there was meconium in the water and if the baby had aspirated any of it, I wanted to make sure EMS would be there to suction out his lungs.

At this point I was 7-8 cm dilated.  Christine broke my water and they carefully examined it for meconium.  A lot of bloody show came out with the water, so there were a couple of spots they looked at closely with a flashlight, but it was determined that the water was clear.  Relief.

I got back in the tub.  My contractions were a lot more intense.  I had already been feeling pushy during them, and that continued.  Before now I was quiet during the contractions, but now I had to moan lowly through them.

I believe about half an hour passed (it must have been about 4:24pm) when I had a particularly pushy-sounding contraction.  Christine asked me if I felt like pushing, and I said yes, so she said she would check me.  She had me change positions so that my bottom was facing in a better direction (the way I was facing there wasn't really any access for the midwives for when the baby came).  This was tough to do, but I managed.  While I was moving I said that I didn't want to push, because pushing was scary (we have this all on video, which is how I remember this part so clearly).  I said Noah just pushed himself out of me and I didn't really have to do anything, and I really didn't want a long drawn out pushing phase with this baby.  Christine encouraged me, of course, and then checked my cervix.  I was 9 cm with a little bit of length left.  This was at 4:26.

Christine and Joanne (second midwife) then told me I should get out of the pool, go to the bathroom, and have a few contractions on land.  I didn't have to pee, and I really didn't want to try and walk, but I agreed.  They helped me out of the prone position and onto my knees, but right when I got on my knees I had a huge contraction and started pushing uncontrollably.  They could tell from my noises, so Christine started telling me not to push.  I said "I can't help it I'm pushing like crazy!"  She said, "You're only 9 cm Lauren, you're not ready.  Say 'house house house' it's pretty impossible to push when you're saying that."  

I ignored this, because it's actually pretty impossible to say "House" when you're pushing :)  And there was no way I was able to stop what my body was doing.  I was on my knees in the pool with my hand down there feeling what was going on.  At that point Justin (who was off camera) said "Breathe deep, babe, just stop pushing."  I took my hand off of myself and waved it him in a "Just be quiet, you don't know what you're talking about" kind of way.  Not that I was mad, but I had 3 people telling me to stop pushing when I knew this kid was coming out NOW.

Right after doing that I put my hand back down there and everything was pushing outward and I could feel myself opening up.  While pushing I said, "Nope... he's coming."  Christine said "He's coming?  Okay," really calmly and walked over to get gloves and equipment ready.  I think Joanne was like "Oh my goodness get your gloves on!" But Christine said, "She's okay, she's got this."  And I totally did.  This was the part where I felt 100% in control.  All my pain seemed to be gone, and I wasn't feeling any of the stretching or the "ring of fire" from crowning.  The water seemed to make it all go away.

At this point I just pushed his head out.  I was kneeling in the tub with my hand on his head, and it felt amazing.  I couldn't believe his head was out of me.  Christine unwrapped the cord from around his neck (it was looped once, like Noah's), then told me to bring my legs back and push his shoulders out.  I didn't really need any coaching, because it was all just happening on it's own, but I kind of moved backward (although I can't remember what position I was in) and pushed the rest of him out (4:29pm).  Christine and I lifted him up onto my chest.  It was such a relief!  He was soooo tiny, I could tell immediately that he was smaller than Noah was at birth.  It took him 20 seconds to start crying, and there was talk of cutting the cord (they thought he might need resuscitation), but I knew he would be fine.  I rubbed the bottom of his feet and talked to him and he immediately started crying.

So, from the time I was checked and told I was 9 cm to when Isaiah came out was 3 minutes.  I was pushing for about 2 of those minutes, but it was basically just one long instinctual push.  Nothing needed to be coached, it was just my body doing what it had to do to get the baby out.  I loved it.

Within a few minutes of his birth I got out of the tub so they could assess my bleeding (it's hard to tell when you're bleeding into water).  My midwifes lifted me up while I was still holding Isaiah and I got on the couch.  Within about 2 minutes of that I delivered the placenta.  Then all the other stuff went on.  Checking for tears (I had a small first degree tear - which is kind of amazing considering he came out so quickly I had no time to stretch - it must have been the water), sutures, some uterine massage, etc.  I was just cuddling Isaiah this whole time.  He nursed about 30-45 minutes after he was born (he wasn't interested before that), 20 minutes on each side.

Eventually I was ready to have him weighed (7lbs), measured (20 inches, with a 13 inch head - 1.8 inches smaller than Noah's!) and examined.  This was all done on the couch next to me, so I could be touching him the whole time.

Christine stayed until... actually, I don't know.  At some point I got off the couch and she helped me shower and get dressed.  The shower went a lot smoother than my shower after giving birth to Noah, where I felt like I was going to pass out.  My Dad showed up right after I got out of the shower.  I guess he'd been at home just waiting for someone to tell him to come over, but we never got around to it, so he took it upon himself to come visit.  My mom ordered pizza for everyone for dinner, and Christine stayed for that.  I'm thinking she must have left around 7 or 7:30, after reviewing all the "things to watch out for" with me.  My mom bathed Noah for us, but I did end up nursing him before he went to bed.

After Noah went to bed my inlaws showed up for a brief visit.  I wasn't there for most of it because I was changing Isaiah's diaper and then nursing him again (while relaxing in bed).  

It was Saturday evening and I had been awake since Thursday at 2am, so I really wanted to go to bed and crash, but I was just way too keyed up to sleep.  I kept replaying the birth in my head.  In a weird way I am sad that it's over.  It's like after your wedding - you are anticipating it for so long and then it goes so quickly and all you have is the memories.  Although in this case I had my actual baby:)  But still.  It's the same sort of "Well... that's over" feeling.

I did end up getting about 4 hours of sleep that night, which was good.  The next night I only got one hour, and I believe I had a meltdown that day.

All in all, my birth was amazing.  I mean, it would have been nice if I didn't have 2 days of early labour with zero sleep, but since it ended up bringing me my baby and I still had a wonderful home birth, with my midwife who I love, it doesn't really bother me.  It makes for an interesting story, anyway.

We all couldn't stop talking about how awesome it was to have a home birth.  It's too bad more people don't do it.  It's awesome to give birth and already be in your own house, on your own couch, going to sleep in your own bed.  You're not woken up by nurses every 3 hours, and there aren't tons of people poking and prodding you and your baby.  The midwife comes to your house for a visit the next day, and on days 3 and 5 (at least they do where I live) to check on you and the baby.

It was just such a calm, comfortable experience.  Christine was so calm, comforting, and encouraging.   I couldn't have asked for a caretaker that I felt more comfortable with and who was more my style.  If I ever have another baby I can only hope she's still practicing in my area.

So, that's the super long story of how Isaiah Matthew made his entrance into our lives.  I didn't think I could immediately love another baby as much as I love Noah, but I totally do.  

Why I Don't Want an OB

After my post yesterday I received a comment from someone I don't know.  Here was the comment:

Here is what I don't I don't understand and perhaps you can explain it to me (and i'm not trying to be critical of your choices but I would like to understand them):

Clearly you are having issues - spotting, cysts, fibroid. Yet you won't see a doctor. You might have a serious pregnancy condition yet you rely on a midwife. A midwife is not a doctor. I just don't get why women see midwives. I get that you don't want a c-section but shouldnt you be more concerned about having a healthy baby? I don't understand the aversion to an OB - a highly trained medical professional - especially when you are obviously experiencing a somewhat abnormal pregnancy. It seems like you are more concerned with having some ideal pregnancy and birth experience than the risks you are facing which could seriously harm your baby.

I'm really not trying to harp on you or make you feel bad - I would just like to understand your rationale.

Okay, I am going to admit, I got offended after reading that.  It didn't make me feel bad - not at all.  It certainly ticked me off, though.  Then I decided to really take this commenter at her word - she is not trying to be critical, but she would really like to understand.  

So I will explain it.

A midwife is a trained professional.  I am not seeing some idiot on the side of the road who saw someone give birth and thinks she's an expert.  I am seeing a team of professionals who got their degrees in midwifery, and are licensed.  They have rules and restrictions and guidelines.  They want the best possible outcome for the patients, and they will do everything they can to get you the outcome that you want, as long as it is safe for you and the baby.  

Canadian midwives can do anything that an OB can do, except induce labour with synthetic oxytocin, prescribe drugs during labour, use forceps or vacuum extractor, or do a c-section.  I very much do not want any of those interventions, as they all carry great risks.  However, if I required them, my care would swiftly be transferred to an OB. 

With my midwife, I can give birth in a hospital or at home.  The midwives in Canada have hospital privileges, just like a doctor.  I have given birth in a hospital, and it was not what I wanted for my birth.  Unfortunately, I waited a bit too long into my first pregnancy to try to get into the midwives, so I was stuck with an OB.  And things occurred during my pregnancy and at my birth that I really didn't want to happen - and they wouldn't have happened if I had a midwife.

Midwives are experts on "normal" pregnancy.  An OB is a trained surgeon, and really should only be there for the small percentage of high risk pregnant women that exist.  In most other industrialized countries, this is how it works.  Midwives are the primary care provider for 70-90% of pregnant women.  The OBs are there for when they are needed - for high risk women and for emergency situations.  And you know what?  All of those countries have much better outcomes than the United States.  The U.S. has one of the highest infant and mother mortality rates of all the industrialized countries, even though the vast majority of the pregnant women are under the care of an OB.  All hail the highly trained medical professionals whose interventions create such wonderful outcomes?  Not so much.

OBs apply interventions where no interventions are needed.  Pregnancy is normal and natural, and the majority of the time it does not require the level of intervention that an obstetrician applies.  OBs are great and wonderful when they are needed.  I would never suggest getting rid of OBs.  They certainly have their place, and they do save lives.  But they have also systematically destroyed the process of birth, because they are not trained to treat it as normal.  They are impatient, they want to intervene, they want to speed things up, and these interventions cause problems.

Now, let's address my specific situation:  

The ovarian cysts are not a problem.  I had cysts last time I was pregnant, too. They're leftover from the stimulation from the injectables.  They might even be gone by now, although during my first pregnancy I still had them at 20 weeks... still, not a problem.

The fibroid... I have no idea.  My midwife would like more information on this supposed fibroid, but I'm not even sure it exists since the only time it was ever mentioned was in ONE ultrasound report at 7 weeks pregnant.  If it was going to cause a problem in this pregnancy, it probably would have been mentioned in other reports (I say "probably" because I'm not totally confident in the u/s reports my REs office has been sending).

The hematoma - hasn't been mentioned since 7 weeks, so it might be gone.  But yes, we would like to know more.

The spotting - scant brown spotting 3 times a week is hardly anything to switch to an OB over.  Especially since there are a couple of things we are already aware of that could be causing it, and none of them are anything that an OB can do anything about at this point.

Finally, the previa.  At 18 weeks I had marginal placenta previa.  That means my placenta is close to the opening of the cervix.  It is not covering it at all, it is just close to it.  In the majority of cases of marginal previa, as the uterus continues to expand, the placenta moves up and away from the cervix.  Think about drawing a dot near the neck of a balloon that you haven't blown up.  When you do blow up the balloon, the dot is not going to end up very close to the neck of the balloon.  The same thing usually happens with marginal previa (and often happens with other forms of previa, too).

I am 22 weeks pregnant.  There is absolutely no reason for me to be transferred to an OB right now.  An OB would only do what my midwife can do anyway - send me for ultrasounds, and order any tests I need.  I am going for an ultrasound next Thursday, requisitioned by the midwife, and if my placenta hasn't moved by an appropriate amount, then I will go for another ultrasound at 28 weeks.  

If I end up with placenta previa continuing into the 3rd trimester, then we will consult with an OB.  

Now, these parts enraged me: "I get that you don't want a c-section but shouldnt you be more concerned about having a healthy baby?[...] It seems like you are more concerned with having some ideal pregnancy and birth experience than the risks you are facing which could seriously harm your baby."

Wow, that sounds so offensive.  

First of all, the "risks I am facing"??  I am not classified as high risk by any means.  Not even an OB would consider me high risk at this point.  I am still extremely low risk.  Nothing am experiencing is going to "seriously harm" my perfectly healthy baby.

Obviously I care about the health of my baby more than I care about having a c-section.  However, I 100% do not want a c-section unless it is absolutely necessary.  News flash: c-sections have way more risks than vaginal births!  C-sections are not healthy for mothers and babies.  It is great that we have the option of c-sections when they are legitimately and medically necessary.  But a c-section rate of over 30% is insane!  Do you think 30% of people need a c-section?  They don't.  In areas were women are almost exclusively taken care of my midwives who have a very low rate of interventions, the c-section rates are less than 2%.  If you just leave people alone, less than 2% of women end up needing a c-section.  The reason the rate in the U.S. is over 30% is because of OBs and their unnecessary interventions, which end up causing problems for mother and baby, which then necessitates a c-section.  Another reason the rate is so high is because OBs are cut-happy.  They are impatient, and they will totally lie to their patients and tell them they just will not be able to vaginally birth that baby, and it must be cut out of them.  Who knows, maybe the OBs actually believe that.  But it is a load of crap.

There are legitimate reasons - health reasons, for both me and the baby - that I want an "ideal pregnancy and birth experience."  I am a very knowledgable, educated person, not an idiot who doesn't know what she's talking about.  

A midwife will continue to check on my previa, so that if I do have a c-section, I will know that it is absolutely necessary.  An OB might look at the 28 week ultrasound, and if I still had marginal previa, he would just schedule a section, even though there would still be time for my placenta to move out of the way as my uterus expands, and even though when you only have marginal previa, doing a trial of labour - in a hospital - would be a safer option than a c-section.

(Many) OBs are bossy.  They are bullies.  Often, they really don't give a crap about what you want.  

My midwife actually cares about what I want.  She knows I want a natural home birth, and she is going to do her best to help me get it (as long as it is safe for me and the baby).  She is not going to send me over to an OB for something that is very easy for us to keep an eye on right now.  I do not want to be sent to an OB right now, because as I said, there is absolutely nothing that an OB can do for me right now that my midwife can't do.  How would a 5 minute appointment with an OB, who would hardly tell me anything, be better for me than 45 minute appointments with my midwife where we carefully look over every report and discuss every option and then decide on the best course to take?

It wouldn't be better for me.  That's the long and the short of it.  Like I said, there is absolutely nothing that an OB can do right now that my midwife can't do.  If the previa persists until the end of my pregnancy, and a c-section is necessary, my care will be transferred to an OB.  But that is a worst-case scenario.  And yes, for me, that is a worst-case scenario.  I have done a ton of research, and I have experienced an entire pregnancy with an obstetrician.  I choose not to go that route again unless it is 100% medically necessary.

If you had an OB and you loved your experience, I am happy for you.  Mine was okay, but in the end, it is not what I want for myself or my baby this time around.  I do not want a paternalistic doctor telling me what will or will not happen, laughing at me when I bring in a birth plan, inducing me for a less-than-great medical reason, giving me an episiotomy when I expressly stated I did not want one (and I did not NEED one), cutting my baby's cord before he was even placed on my chest even though I expressly stated I wanted to wait, and holding my screaming child who had just been born upside down by the ankles instead of kindly giving him to me.

There are hundreds of other reasons I want a midwife.  But the bottom line is that I feel that I am in better care with my midwife than I would be with an OB.  I am fully informed about what is going on with my body and my baby, and I have much more control over what is going to be done throughout this pregnancy.  I am not placing myself or my baby at risk by having a midwife.  I firmly believe (and the statistics support this belief), that I am in a much better position and at much lower risk because I have a midwife.

Second Midwife Appointment

I never posted about my first one 5 weeks ago, but my second midwife appointment was yesterday.

I love having a midwife.  I had an OB last time, and I knew him pretty well, and it was fine, but it wasn't really the experience I was going for.  Besides the hospital birth, induction, and episiotomy that I didn't want, my OB was too paternalistic.  Never wanted to answer questions.  I saw him for a max of 5 minutes at each appointment.  It was: go in, nurse does blood pressure, weight, and urine.  OB checks heart rate and size of uterus, looks at any test results really fast, and then says "SEE YA!"  He would never even tell me what the heart rate was or what my uterus was measuring unless I asked him.  And he basically made fun of me when I brought him my birth plan.

The midwives discuss EVERYTHING with you.  Appointments are 30-45 minutes, rather than 5.  They actually give a crap, and it's almost impossible to leave an appointment feeling like you missed talking about something, since they literally bring up every aspect of your pregnancy at each appointment.  Listening to the heartbeat yesterday (which I do with my own doppler nearly every day), my midwife was acting all excited for me like it was the first heartbeat she'd ever heard.  I thought that was so nice.  Plus there are lots of toys there for the kids, and she lets Noah play with her stethoscope the whole time.  He likes that :)

I managed to shock my midwife with the size of my uterus.  It measures 6 weeks ahead (already at my belly button).  Even though she knew better (she knows we did fertility treatments and that I've already had two ultrasounds), she still felt the need to ask whether I had two babies in there, and if we were sure about my dates.  I found it kind of funny.  All I could tell her is that my uterus grows at warp speed when I am pregnant.  It makes no sense, and I'd like to know why, but it just is what it is.

We discussed a little bit about home birth, because that's what I would really like to do this time.  She said I'm a good candidate, but she'd like to talk more about it when we have more time and when my husband is there, since he has some reservations.  He will go along with what I want to do, but she does want both of us to feel comfortable with it.  I'll be talking more about this in the future, I'm sure.

My blood pressure was nice and low.  105/58.  Last time it was 95/58.

My weight is disturbingly high.  I can't understand what is going on with my body.  I am not even going to talk numbers, because I am embarrassed.  But unless their scale is drastically off, I have seriously already gained what I should have gained during the whole pregnancy.  I weighed more today than I weighed when I was 38 WEEKS PREGNANT with Noah.  You can't really tell, and people think the rest of me still looks the same size and it's just my belly that is huge, but I am kind of freaking out.  I can tell that I have gained weight, but even though I can tell a difference, I never would have expected that I would weigh this much already!  I am eating the same amount I was eating when I was nursing with a full supply, but clearly my hormonal change (hormones have a lot more control over weight gain than most people know) and the fact that I'm not producing very much milk means I can't eat my normal amount.  But I have been STARVING through my first trimester, so I don't know how I can eat less.  I'm still really hungry, but it isn't quite as extreme as it was before, so I will definitely be cutting back on how much and how often I eat.  I will be very hungry, but seriously, this weight gain is freaking me out.

I am actually really thankful that I'm not with my old OB.  I only gained 16 lbs between 8 weeks and 38 weeks with Noah, but most of it was gained at the beginning.  And I DID gain a bunch of weight before 8 weeks, I just don't know how much.  So this is not totally foreign to me (although my weight gain this time has been a lot more significant).  But at one of my OB appointments I had gained 5 lbs (oh, I wish that was the case this time).  I was around 25 weeks pregnant, and it had been 4.5 weeks since my last appointment.  I gained 5 lbs.  That's only half a pound more than you are SUPPOSED to gain, and your weight can fluctuate by up to 5 lbs in one DAY, but he gave me crap for "gaining too much weight".  I seriously wanted to kick him in the balls.  I am a thin person to begin with, so giving me crap for gaining 5lbs in 4.5 weeks in the second half of my pregnancy is ridiculous.

My midwife, on the other hand, did say "Oh, that is a jump..." but that might have been only because I was expressing concern.  She definitely didn't give me heck about it.  We talked about my theory on why this is happening (hormonal changes, no longer producing much breastmilk, starving all the time so eating the same amount I was eating when I was nursing full-time, etc).  We talked about how I gained quickly at the beginning of my pregnancy with Noah, and then it really slowed down, and that that will hopefully happen this time.  I think she could see that I was really freaked out by the whole thing, and she made sure to reassure me that weight gain is not the only indicator of a healthy pregnancy.

The weird thing is that the yoga pants I was wearing in the third trimester with Noah are much too big for me right now.  When I look at my body and how my clothes fit, my body does not seem to match the number on the scale.

I'm having body image issues.  I can only hope I will lose weight like I did after having Noah - 40lbs in 2 weeks without trying pretty much rocks.