Isaiah's Birth Story (For Real)

Early Labour

My due date with Isaiah was October 10, 2012.  My midwife, Christine, and I had agreed that once I hit 37 weeks, we would begin doing stretch and sweeps on a weekly basis.  The point of this was to help me not go overdue, since I had been in such bad pain for so long (starting at 7 weeks).  It usually takes several stretch and sweeps for them to do anything (and some people will swear they don't do anything at all), so we thought starting at 37 weeks might hopefully mean I'd have the baby around 39 weeks.

I had a midwife appointment on Thursday September 20, at which I was 37 weeks 1 day.  I had been checking myself for weeks, and had been dilated for quite awhile.  I already knew before going to the appointment that I was at least 2cm dilated, which Christine confirmed when she did the internal.  I was 2cm, very soft, but still kind of long (the length of my cervix varied hourly, depending on how low Isaiah's head was at the moment).  She did a really good stretch and sweep.  Like, really good.  It hurt, like it is supposed to.  Afterward I bled.  Not just spotting, but like the bloody show I had with Noah when I was in active labour.  It was not excessive bleeding, but enough to know things really got stirred up in there.

My appointment was at 11am, and by 12pm I was having very frequent BH.  They were uncomfortable and achy (my back was especially achy), but not super painful.  Noah and I spent the afternoon with my Dad at my parents' house, and I tried to walk around a bunch to "help things along" (keep in mind, however, that I thought I was just dilating further, not actually going into labour.  You're supposed to be crampy after a stretch and sweep.)

By the late afternoon I was more crampy and achy.  I was really hoping that I was actually dilating, because otherwise it really sucked.  That night I went to bed a little before 10. It wasn't a good sleep to start out with. I was up already at 10:40 to pee. Then I was up to pee at least every hour, and also awakened by significant (and even more painful) contractions on a regular basis.

At 2am the contractions got worse. They were every 3-7 minutes and they hurt like hell. I'm pretty sure that laying on my side was the absolute worst position for me to be in during them, but I kept hoping that relaxing and staying in bed would make them go away.  It didn't.

I finally started timing them with an app on my iPod, and between 3:30 and 5am I had 20 brutal contractions. Then the app wouldn't time any more because I'm cheap and won't pay for the full version.  Meanwhile, I kept going to the bathroom and the "bloody show" was increasing from the day before.

Finally around 5:30 the contractions started spacing out a little bit more until they were coming every 15 minutes.  I figured this wasn't 'real' labour.

When I got out of bed Friday morning (keep in mind I'd been awake since 2am) I felt really nauseous.  I was confused, because nausea is supposed to be a sign that labour is imminent, but my contractions had spaced out.  There were only 3 or 4 an hour until about 10:30am when my sister got here (we had previously planned the visit, thank goodness). They started to increase in frequency then, and they got really friggin painful. Some of them weren't so bad, but many of them were at a 7/10 on the pain scale. I could deal with them better if I was standing up, best if I was leaning over resting on something. Sitting or lying down they hurt waaay worse. I thought that was weird.

So, all during Friday I was contracting painfully every 7 minutes, each contraction lasting 1 minute.  I also had the runs (also a sign of imminent labour), and I continued to bleed (although the bleeding didn't increase).

Around 4pm I called my midwife.  I didn't think I really needed to, I just wanted reassurance that this is going to go away! The conversation was as fruitless as I thought it was going to be (not Christine's fault, it was just the nature of my labour). She told me to try and get some rest. Take a Gravol and some Tylenol (already done several times, it did nothing). Have a hot bath (the water in my bathtub doesn't cover my belly, so that's a bit useless). Try and sleep between contractions tonight (ummmm... not gonna happen). Page her again if things get longer, stronger, or closer together. Page her again if it's still like this tomorrow afternoon (that would be Saturday).

Around 9pm on Friday contractions slowed to about every 10 minutes.  However, the bloody show was back with a vengeance   At midnight that night I checked myself after an especially painful contraction (I'd been avoiding doing this because I was sore down there from the stretch and sweep).  I felt like I was more dilated.  The baby's head was low, and I could feel his water sack bulging.  Shortly after checking myself my contractions got closer together.  They were coming every 3-4 minutes for awhile, and we thought we might actually have the baby before Noah woke up around 7am.  We were running around the house getting things ready - blowing up the pool, vacuuming, doing laundry, backing up pictures and videos so we could clear the SD cards in our cameras, etc.  Really, Justin was doing most of this, but I was doing my part to get things ready between contractions.

I also took my last belly picture:

By 3:30am nothing had changed.  Contractions spaced out to every 7-10 minutes again.  They were longer, stronger, and more painful, but not closer together.  I gave up and told Justin to go to bed.  I went to bed too, but I didn't sleep a wink that whole night.

The next morning things continued the exact same way.  At about 10:30am I called my midwife.  Things were just too ridiculous to wait until the afternoon.  She said she had actually been anticipating that I would call her in the middle of the night (so was I!).  She had a home visit to make at 11:30, and then she was coming to our house around 1.  She said with the strength of my contractions she'd be really surprised if I'd had no cervical change, and we'd try a few tricks to speed things up.

Midwife Arrives

Christine arrived right around 1.  She took my vitals, and we hung out for awhile while she timed my contractions.  They did not perform well for her.  I had a long, strong one.  Then 10 minutes later had a weak, 30-40 second one.  Then 10 minutes later I had a medium one.  It was lame.

Around 1:45 or 2pm she checked my cervix.  Remember, on Thursday (about 50 hours earlier) I was 2cm.  I was now a very very stretchy 6cm.  She could stretch me to 8cm with no problem.  She and I were both pretty pleased with that, and she said "Lauren, you're having that baby today!"  I'm pretty sure I replied with "Oh thank the LORD!"  She asked if she could do another stretch and sweep, and I said yes.  This one wasn't as long as the first one, but I think it was equally painful.

Active Labour

Immediately after the stretch (so around 2pm) my contractions started coming every 3-4 minutes and they were even stronger and more intense.  She had previously suggested that I take a labour tincture, and I asked her if I really needed to, considering I was suddenly in active labour.  She said "Yes, take it, we want to make sure the contractions stay regular."  She was thinking she'd give me a couple of doses, but I ended up only taking one.

I called my mom and said "Alright, I'm in labour, come on over!  Like, NOW, I'm 6cm.  And call Giliane."  I was really needing her to arrive, because I needed support from someone.  My midwife was busy setting up all her supplies and equipment, and Justin was playing with Noah in the basement.  In between contractions I yelled down to him that I needed the pool filled ASAP.  It was one thing when contractions were every 7-10 minutes.  It was a whole other thing when they were every 3-4 minutes!

I'm not sure what time my Mom arrived.  Basically from the time Christine stretched my cervix and onward I have no idea what time anything happened until Isaiah was actually born.  But she did arrive, and once she did she rubbed my back hard through a few contractions.  Then the pool was ready, so she went downstairs to distract Noah while I got in the water.

I laboured in the water for awhile, and it was much better than labouring on land.  The water was really  hot, which felt great for the contractions, but it was heating me up so I had a fan blowing on me and Justin was bringing me cold washcloths for my face, neck, and chest.  At some point during this another midwife arrived.  It wasn't my second or third midwife, because neither of them were available.  It was the fourth midwife in the practice - the one I had never even met.  I didn't really care though, because Christine was there and she was in charge.

At some point Christine suggested we get out of the pool and talk about breaking my water.  They also wanted to take my vitals.  I didn't really want to artificially break my water, because I didn't want things to get worse and I knew they would.  However, her reasoning went something like this: "It's not a bad idea, Lauren.  It would be good to know the colour of the water.  If there's meconium we won't have time to get to the hospital, but we can call EMS to wait outside just in case the baby aspirated any of it.  It will likely make the contractions more intense, but the baby will probably be here in about half an hour."  Christine is not usually a "break the water" kind of person (she had 4 or 5 babies born in the caul in the last year), so I think this was mostly because a) I live 25 minutes from the hospital, and b) I'd been in labour for 2 days already.

Anyway, we walked to the bedroom and I had a bunch of contractions. Let me tell you, they SUCKED out of the water (not that they rocked in the water, but they were certainly better!).  They took my pulse, which was high, and my blood pressure, which was super low (like, 80/35 or something crazy like that).  The baby's heart rate was also high.  We determined that all of this was because the water in the pool was too hot, so we agreed to add more cold water before I got back in.

I hemmed and hawed for awhile about the water-breaking thing, but then just decided to go for it because if there was meconium in the water and if the baby had aspirated any of it, I wanted to make sure EMS would be there to suction out his lungs.

At this point I was 7-8 cm dilated.  Christine broke my water and they carefully examined it for meconium.  A lot of bloody show came out with the water, so there were a couple of spots they looked at closely with a flashlight, but it was determined that the water was clear.  Relief.

I got back in the tub.  My contractions were a lot more intense.  I had already been feeling pushy during them, and that continued.  Before now I was quiet during the contractions, but now I had to moan lowly through them.

I believe about half an hour passed (it must have been about 4:24pm) when I had a particularly pushy-sounding contraction.  Christine asked me if I felt like pushing, and I said yes, so she said she would check me.  She had me change positions so that my bottom was facing in a better direction (the way I was facing there wasn't really any access for the midwives for when the baby came).  This was tough to do, but I managed.  While I was moving I said that I didn't want to push, because pushing was scary (we have this all on video, which is how I remember this part so clearly).  I said Noah just pushed himself out of me and I didn't really have to do anything, and I really didn't want a long drawn out pushing phase with this baby.  Christine encouraged me, of course, and then checked my cervix.  I was 9 cm with a little bit of length left.  This was at 4:26.

Christine and Joanne (second midwife) then told me I should get out of the pool, go to the bathroom, and have a few contractions on land.  I didn't have to pee, and I really didn't want to try and walk, but I agreed.  They helped me out of the prone position and onto my knees, but right when I got on my knees I had a huge contraction and started pushing uncontrollably.  They could tell from my noises, so Christine started telling me not to push.  I said "I can't help it I'm pushing like crazy!"  She said, "You're only 9 cm Lauren, you're not ready.  Say 'house house house' it's pretty impossible to push when you're saying that."  

I ignored this, because it's actually pretty impossible to say "House" when you're pushing :)  And there was no way I was able to stop what my body was doing.  I was on my knees in the pool with my hand down there feeling what was going on.  At that point Justin (who was off camera) said "Breathe deep, babe, just stop pushing."  I took my hand off of myself and waved it him in a "Just be quiet, you don't know what you're talking about" kind of way.  Not that I was mad, but I had 3 people telling me to stop pushing when I knew this kid was coming out NOW.

Right after doing that I put my hand back down there and everything was pushing outward and I could feel myself opening up.  While pushing I said, "Nope... he's coming."  Christine said "He's coming?  Okay," really calmly and walked over to get gloves and equipment ready.  I think Joanne was like "Oh my goodness get your gloves on!" But Christine said, "She's okay, she's got this."  And I totally did.  This was the part where I felt 100% in control.  All my pain seemed to be gone, and I wasn't feeling any of the stretching or the "ring of fire" from crowning.  The water seemed to make it all go away.

At this point I just pushed his head out.  I was kneeling in the tub with my hand on his head, and it felt amazing.  I couldn't believe his head was out of me.  Christine unwrapped the cord from around his neck (it was looped once, like Noah's), then told me to bring my legs back and push his shoulders out.  I didn't really need any coaching, because it was all just happening on it's own, but I kind of moved backward (although I can't remember what position I was in) and pushed the rest of him out (4:29pm).  Christine and I lifted him up onto my chest.  It was such a relief!  He was soooo tiny, I could tell immediately that he was smaller than Noah was at birth.  It took him 20 seconds to start crying, and there was talk of cutting the cord (they thought he might need resuscitation), but I knew he would be fine.  I rubbed the bottom of his feet and talked to him and he immediately started crying.

So, from the time I was checked and told I was 9 cm to when Isaiah came out was 3 minutes.  I was pushing for about 2 of those minutes, but it was basically just one long instinctual push.  Nothing needed to be coached, it was just my body doing what it had to do to get the baby out.  I loved it.

Within a few minutes of his birth I got out of the tub so they could assess my bleeding (it's hard to tell when you're bleeding into water).  My midwifes lifted me up while I was still holding Isaiah and I got on the couch.  Within about 2 minutes of that I delivered the placenta.  Then all the other stuff went on.  Checking for tears (I had a small first degree tear - which is kind of amazing considering he came out so quickly I had no time to stretch - it must have been the water), sutures, some uterine massage, etc.  I was just cuddling Isaiah this whole time.  He nursed about 30-45 minutes after he was born (he wasn't interested before that), 20 minutes on each side.

After I was done being stitched, my mom, sister, and Noah came upstairs.  Noah was pretty excited about his little brother being on the outside now.  The first thing he said was "He is so little and tiny!!  Awww... he's so cute!"

Eventually I was ready to have him weighed (7lbs), measured (20 inches, with a 13 inch head - 1.8 inches smaller than Noah's!) and examined.  This was all done on the couch next to me, so I could be touching him the whole time.

(I just saw that I'm holding Noah's hand in this picture:)

Christine stayed until... actually, I don't know.  At some point I got off the couch and she helped me shower and get dressed.  The shower went a lot smoother than my shower after giving birth to Noah, where I felt like I was going to pass out.  My Dad showed up right after I got out of the shower.  I guess he'd been at home just waiting for someone to tell him to come over, but we never got around to it, so he took it upon himself to come visit.  My mom ordered pizza for everyone for dinner, and Christine stayed for that.  I'm thinking she must have left around 7 or 7:30, after reviewing all the "things to watch out for" with me.  My mom bathed Noah for us, but I did end up nursing him before he went to bed.

After Noah went to bed my inlaws showed up for a brief visit.  I wasn't there for most of it because I was changing Isaiah's diaper and then nursing him again (while relaxing in bed).  

It was Saturday evening and I had been awake since Thursday at 2am, so I really wanted to go to bed and crash, but I was just way too keyed up to sleep.  I kept replaying the birth in my head.  In a weird way I am sad that it's over.  It's like after your wedding - you are anticipating it for so long and then it goes so quickly and all you have is the memories.  Although in this case I have my actual baby:)  But still.  It's the same sort of "Well... that's over" feeling.

I did end up getting about 4 hours of sleep that night, which was good.  The next night I only got one hour, and I believe I had a meltdown that day.

All in all, my birth was amazing.  I mean, it would have been nice if I didn't have 2 days of early labour with zero sleep, but since it ended up bringing me my baby and I still had a wonderful home birth, with my midwife who I love, it doesn't really bother me.  It makes for an interesting story, anyway.

We all couldn't stop talking about how awesome it was to have a home birth.  It's too bad more people don't do it.  It's awesome to give birth and already be in your own house, on your own couch, going to sleep in your own bed.  You're not woken up by nurses every 3 hours, and there aren't tons of people poking and prodding you and your baby.  The midwife comes to your house for a visit the next day, and on days 3 and 5 (at least they do where I live) to check on you and the baby.

It was just such a calm, comfortable experience.  Christine was so calm, comforting, and encouraging.   I couldn't have asked for a caretaker that I felt more comfortable with and who was more my style.  If I ever have another baby I can only hope she's still practicing in my area.

So, that's the super long story of how Isaiah Matthew made his entrance into our lives.  I didn't think I could immediately love another baby as much as I love Noah, but I totally do.  

Isaiah's Birth Story

Early Labour

My due date with Isaiah was October 10, 2012.  My midwife, Christine, and I had agreed that once I hit 37 weeks, we would begin doing stretch and sweeps on a weekly basis.  The point of this was to help me not go overdue, since I had been in such bad pain for so long (starting at 7 weeks).  It usually takes several stretch and sweeps for them to do anything (and some people will swear they don't do anything at all), so we thought starting at 37 weeks might hopefully mean I'd have the baby around 39 weeks.

I had a midwife appointment on Thursday September 20, at which I was 37 weeks 1 day.  I had been checking myself for weeks, and had been dilated for quite awhile.  I already knew before going to the appointment that I was at least 2cm dilated, which Christine confirmed when she did the internal.  I was 2cm, very soft, but still kind of long (the length of my cervix varied hourly, depending on how low Isaiah's head was at the moment).  She did a really good stretch and sweep.  Like, really good.  It hurt, like it is supposed to.  Afterward I bled.  Not just spotting, but like the bloody show I had with Noah when I was in active labour.  It was not excessive bleeding, but enough to know things really got stirred up in there.

My appointment was at 11am, and by 12pm I was having very frequent BH.  They were uncomfortable and achy (my back was especially achy), but not super painful.  Noah and I spent the afternoon with my Dad at my parents' house, and I tried to walk around a bunch to "help things along" (keep in mind, however, that I thought I was just dilating further, not actually going into labour.  You're supposed to be crampy after a stretch and sweep.)

By the late afternoon I was more crampy and achy.  I was really hoping that I was actually dilating, because otherwise it really sucked.  That night I went to bed a little before 10. It wasn't a good sleep to start out with. I was up already at 10:40 to pee. Then I was up to pee at least every hour, and also awakened by significant (and even more painful) contractions on a regular basis.

At 2am the contractions got worse. They were every 3-7 minutes and they hurt like hell. I'm pretty sure that laying on my side was the absolute worst position for me to be in during them, but I kept hoping that relaxing and staying in bed would make them go away.  It didn't.

I finally started timing them with an app on my iPod, and between 3:30 and 5am I had 20 brutal contractions. Then the app wouldn't time any more because I'm cheap and won't pay for the full version.  Meanwhile, I kept going to the bathroom and the "bloody show" was increasing from the day before.

Finally around 5:30 the contractions started spacing out a little bit more until they were coming every 15 minutes.  I figured this wasn't 'real' labour.

When I got out of bed Friday morning (keep in mind I'd been awake since 2am) I felt really nauseous.  I was confused, because nausea is supposed to be a sign that labour is imminent, but my contractions had spaced out.  There were only 3 or 4 an hour until about 10:30am when my sister got here (we had previously planned the visit, thank goodness). They started to increase in frequency then, and they got really friggin painful. Some of them weren't so bad, but many of them were at a 7/10 on the pain scale. I could deal with them better if I was standing up, best if I was leaning over resting on something. Sitting or lying down they hurt waaay worse. I thought that was weird.

So, all during Friday I was contracting painfully every 7 minutes, each contraction lasting 1 minute.  I also had the runs (also a sign of imminent labour), and I continued to bleed (although the bleeding didn't increase).

Around 4pm I called my midwife.  I didn't think I really needed to, I just wanted reassurance that this is going to go away! The conversation was as fruitless as I thought it was going to be (not Christine's fault, it was just the nature of my labour). She told me to try and get some rest. Take a Gravol and some Tylenol (already done several times, it did nothing). Have a hot bath (the water in my bathtub doesn't cover my belly, so that's a bit useless). Try and sleep between contractions tonight (ummmm... not gonna happen). Page her again if things get longer, stronger, or closer together. Page her again if it's still like this tomorrow afternoon (that would be Saturday).

Around 9pm on Friday contractions slowed to about every 10 minutes.  However, the bloody show was back with a vengeance   At midnight that night I checked myself after an especially painful contraction (I'd been avoiding doing this because I was sore down there from the stretch and sweep).  I felt like I was more dilated.  The baby's head was low, and I could feel his water sack bulging.  Shortly after checking myself my contractions got closer together.  They were coming every 3-4 minutes for awhile, and we thought we might actually have the baby before Noah woke up around 7am.  We were running around the house getting things ready - blowing up the pool, vacuuming, doing laundry, backing up pictures and videos so we could clear the SD cards in our cameras, etc.  Really, Justin was doing most of this, but I was doing my part to get things ready between contractions.

I also took my last belly picture:

By 3:30am nothing had changed.  Contractions spaced out to every 7-10 minutes again.  They were longer, stronger, and more painful, but not closer together.  I gave up and told Justin to go to bed.  I went to bed too, but I didn't sleep a wink that whole night.

The next morning things continued the exact same way.  At about 10:30am I called my midwife.  Things were just too ridiculous to wait until the afternoon.  She said she had actually been anticipating that I would call her in the middle of the night (so was I!).  She had a home visit to make at 11:30, and then she was coming to our house around 1.  She said with the strength of my contractions she'd be really surprised if I'd had no cervical change, and we'd try a few tricks to speed things up.

Midwife Arrives

Christine arrived right around 1.  She took my vitals, and we hung out for awhile while she timed my contractions.  They did not perform well for her.  I had a long, strong one.  Then 10 minutes later had a weak, 30-40 second one.  Then 10 minutes later I had a medium one.  It was lame.

Around 1:45 or 2pm she checked my cervix.  Remember, on Thursday (about 50 hours earlier) I was 2cm.  I was now a very very stretchy 6cm.  She could stretch me to 8cm with no problem.  She and I were both pretty pleased with that, and she said "Lauren, you're having that baby today!"  I'm pretty sure I replied with "Oh thank the LORD!"  She asked if she could do another stretch and sweep, and I said yes.  This one wasn't as long as the first one, but I think it was equally painful.

Active Labour

Immediately after the stretch (so around 2pm) my contractions started coming every 3-4 minutes and they were even stronger and more intense.  She had previously suggested that I take a labour tincture, and I asked her if I really needed to, considering I was suddenly in active labour.  She said "Yes, take it, we want to make sure the contractions stay regular."  She was thinking she'd give me a couple of doses, but I ended up only taking one.

I called my mom and said "Alright, I'm in labour, come on over!  Like, NOW, I'm 6cm.  And call Giliane."  I was really needing her to arrive, because I needed support from someone.  My midwife was busy setting up all her supplies and equipment, and Justin was playing with Noah in the basement.  In between contractions I yelled down to him that I needed the pool filled ASAP.  It was one thing when contractions were every 7-10 minutes.  It was a whole other thing when they were every 3-4 minutes!

I'm not sure what time my Mom arrived.  Basically from the time she stretched my cervix and onward I have no idea what time anything happened until Isaiah was actually born.  But she did arrive, and once she did she rubbed my back hard through a few contractions.  Then the pool was ready, so she went downstairs to distract Noah while I got in the water.

I laboured in the water for awhile, and it was much better than labouring on land.  The water was really  hot, which felt great for the contractions, but it was heating me up so I had a fan blowing on me and Justin was bringing me cold washcloths for my face, neck, and chest.  At some point during this another midwife arrived.  It wasn't my second or third midwife, because neither of them were available.  It was the fourth midwife in the practice - the one I had never even met.  I didn't really care though, because Christine was there and she was in charge.

At some point Christine suggested we get out of the pool and talk about breaking my water.  They also wanted to take my vitals.  I didn't really want to artificially break my water, because I didn't want things to get worse and I knew they would.  However, her reasoning went something like this: "It's not a bad idea, Lauren.  It would be good to know the colour of the water.  If there's meconium we won't have time to get to the hospital, but we can call EMS to wait outside just in case the baby aspirated any of it.  It will likely make the contractions more intense, but the baby will probably be here in about half an hour."  Christine is not usually a "break the water" kind of person (she had 4 or 5 babies born in the caul in the last year), so I think this was mostly because a) I live 25 minutes from the hospital, and b) I'd been in labour for 2 days already.

Anyway, we walked to the bedroom and I had a bunch of contractions. Let me tell you, they SUCKED out of the water (not that they rocked in the water, but they were certainly better!).  They took my pulse, which was high, and my blood pressure, which was super low (like, 80/35 or something crazy like that).  The baby's heart rate was also high.  We determined that all of this was because the water in the pool was too hot, so we agreed to add more cold water before I got back in.

I hemmed and hawed for awhile about the water-breaking thing, but then just decided to go for it because if there was meconium in the water and if the baby had aspirated any of it, I wanted to make sure EMS would be there to suction out his lungs.

At this point I was 7-8 cm dilated.  Christine broke my water and they carefully examined it for meconium.  A lot of bloody show came out with the water, so there were a couple of spots they looked at closely with a flashlight, but it was determined that the water was clear.  Relief.

I got back in the tub.  My contractions were a lot more intense.  I had already been feeling pushy during them, and that continued.  Before now I was quiet during the contractions, but now I had to moan lowly through them.

I believe about half an hour passed (it must have been about 4:24pm) when I had a particularly pushy-sounding contraction.  Christine asked me if I felt like pushing, and I said yes, so she said she would check me.  She had me change positions so that my bottom was facing in a better direction (the way I was facing there wasn't really any access for the midwives for when the baby came).  This was tough to do, but I managed.  While I was moving I said that I didn't want to push, because pushing was scary (we have this all on video, which is how I remember this part so clearly).  I said Noah just pushed himself out of me and I didn't really have to do anything, and I really didn't want a long drawn out pushing phase with this baby.  Christine encouraged me, of course, and then checked my cervix.  I was 9 cm with a little bit of length left.  This was at 4:26.

Christine and Joanne (second midwife) then told me I should get out of the pool, go to the bathroom, and have a few contractions on land.  I didn't have to pee, and I really didn't want to try and walk, but I agreed.  They helped me out of the prone position and onto my knees, but right when I got on my knees I had a huge contraction and started pushing uncontrollably.  They could tell from my noises, so Christine started telling me not to push.  I said "I can't help it I'm pushing like crazy!"  She said, "You're only 9 cm Lauren, you're not ready.  Say 'house house house' it's pretty impossible to push when you're saying that."  

I ignored this, because it's actually pretty impossible to say "House" when you're pushing :)  And there was no way I was able to stop what my body was doing.  I was on my knees in the pool with my hand down there feeling what was going on.  At that point Justin (who was off camera) said "Breathe deep, babe, just stop pushing."  I took my hand off of myself and waved it him in a "Just be quiet, you don't know what you're talking about" kind of way.  Not that I was mad, but I had 3 people telling me to stop pushing when I knew this kid was coming out NOW.

Right after doing that I put my hand back down there and everything was pushing outward and I could feel myself opening up.  While pushing I said, "Nope... he's coming."  Christine said "He's coming?  Okay," really calmly and walked over to get gloves and equipment ready.  I think Joanne was like "Oh my goodness get your gloves on!" But Christine said, "She's okay, she's got this."  And I totally did.  This was the part where I felt 100% in control.  All my pain seemed to be gone, and I wasn't feeling any of the stretching or the "ring of fire" from crowning.  The water seemed to make it all go away.

At this point I just pushed his head out.  I was kneeling in the tub with my hand on his head, and it felt amazing.  I couldn't believe his head was out of me.  Christine unwrapped the cord from around his neck (it was looped once, like Noah's), then told me to bring my legs back and push his shoulders out.  I didn't really need any coaching, because it was all just happening on it's own, but I kind of moved backward (although I can't remember what position I was in) and pushed the rest of him out (4:29pm).  Christine and I lifted him up onto my chest.  It was such a relief!  He was soooo tiny, I could tell immediately that he was smaller than Noah was at birth.  It took him 20 seconds to start crying, and there was talk of cutting the cord (they thought he might need resuscitation), but I knew he would be fine.  I rubbed the bottom of his feet and talked to him and he immediately started crying.

So, from the time I was checked and told I was 9 cm to when Isaiah came out was 3 minutes.  I was pushing for about 2 of those minutes, but it was basically just one long instinctual push.  Nothing needed to be coached, it was just my body doing what it had to do to get the baby out.  I loved it.

Within a few minutes of his birth I got out of the tub so they could assess my bleeding (it's hard to tell when you're bleeding into water).  My midwifes lifted me up while I was still holding Isaiah and I got on the couch.  Within about 2 minutes of that I delivered the placenta.  Then all the other stuff went on.  Checking for tears (I had a small first degree tear - which is kind of amazing considering he came out so quickly I had no time to stretch - it must have been the water), sutures, some uterine massage, etc.  I was just cuddling Isaiah this whole time.  He nursed about 30-45 minutes after he was born (he wasn't interested before that), 20 minutes on each side.

Eventually I was ready to have him weighed (7lbs), measured (20 inches, with a 13 inch head - 1.8 inches smaller than Noah's!) and examined.  This was all done on the couch next to me, so I could be touching him the whole time.

Christine stayed until... actually, I don't know.  At some point I got off the couch and she helped me shower and get dressed.  The shower went a lot smoother than my shower after giving birth to Noah, where I felt like I was going to pass out.  My Dad showed up right after I got out of the shower.  I guess he'd been at home just waiting for someone to tell him to come over, but we never got around to it, so he took it upon himself to come visit.  My mom ordered pizza for everyone for dinner, and Christine stayed for that.  I'm thinking she must have left around 7 or 7:30, after reviewing all the "things to watch out for" with me.  My mom bathed Noah for us, but I did end up nursing him before he went to bed.

After Noah went to bed my inlaws showed up for a brief visit.  I wasn't there for most of it because I was changing Isaiah's diaper and then nursing him again (while relaxing in bed).  

It was Saturday evening and I had been awake since Thursday at 2am, so I really wanted to go to bed and crash, but I was just way too keyed up to sleep.  I kept replaying the birth in my head.  In a weird way I am sad that it's over.  It's like after your wedding - you are anticipating it for so long and then it goes so quickly and all you have is the memories.  Although in this case I had my actual baby:)  But still.  It's the same sort of "Well... that's over" feeling.

I did end up getting about 4 hours of sleep that night, which was good.  The next night I only got one hour, and I believe I had a meltdown that day.

All in all, my birth was amazing.  I mean, it would have been nice if I didn't have 2 days of early labour with zero sleep, but since it ended up bringing me my baby and I still had a wonderful home birth, with my midwife who I love, it doesn't really bother me.  It makes for an interesting story, anyway.

We all couldn't stop talking about how awesome it was to have a home birth.  It's too bad more people don't do it.  It's awesome to give birth and already be in your own house, on your own couch, going to sleep in your own bed.  You're not woken up by nurses every 3 hours, and there aren't tons of people poking and prodding you and your baby.  The midwife comes to your house for a visit the next day, and on days 3 and 5 (at least they do where I live) to check on you and the baby.

It was just such a calm, comfortable experience.  Christine was so calm, comforting, and encouraging.   I couldn't have asked for a caretaker that I felt more comfortable with and who was more my style.  If I ever have another baby I can only hope she's still practicing in my area.

So, that's the super long story of how Isaiah Matthew made his entrance into our lives.  I didn't think I could immediately love another baby as much as I love Noah, but I totally do.  

Isaiah

Because I didn't have a chance to post a picture yesterday, here is our handsome little man, Isaiah Matthew

Born at home on September 22, 2012, 4:29pm

7lbs, 20 inches

Welcome Isaiah!

Our second sweet baby boy, Isaiah Matthew, was born at 4:29pm on September 22, 2012.  He was 18 days early, and weighed in at exactly 7lbs and 20 inches.

We had a wonderful waterbirth at home, and are both doing great.  He is already a wonderful nurser!  I am so in love:)

Birth story to come!

Labour Update Part 2

It's just about noon.  Things are the exact same.  Painful contractions, about 10 minutes apart.  Low head, bulging sac.  I don't know how dilated I am because I don't want to dig around too much to figure it out and risk breaking my water (plus I'm not sure I'd be all that great at figuring out anything past a 2 or 3), but I'm pretty sure I've made it to at least 3.

My midwife has a home visit with another client at 11:30, but she is coming around 1pm with her "bag of tricks."  I can't take this anymore.  2 days of labour with no end in sight, and I'm running on only 2 hours of sleep from back on Wednesday night.  I'm sure the baby is fine right now, but we can't keep doing this.  It's not good for either of us long term (especially not ME, who is getting no sleep!).

This is going to end with a baby.  I'm 99.9% sure these contractions are not going to go away.  So either we'll find something natural that will work to put me into active labour, or I'll end up getting induced to get me there (seriously?).  Let's hope it's the first situation because I really don't want an induction.

What's up with the whole "second babies take half the time" rumor?  This second baby is taking like 15 times longer than Noah took!  I mean, I realize I was induced with Noah, but STILL.  This is ridiculous.  He better be here by this time tomorrow!

Labour Update

It's 12:50am.  At 12am I decided to check myself after a really freaking painful contraction.  My guess is that I'm about 75% effaced.  I can't even guess on the dilation.  His head is super low. I am 99% sure I can feel a little bulge from his water sack, and when I poke on it his head is right there and VERY hard, not like I'm poking at it through any muscle or tissue.

My contractions have slowed down and most of this evening from about 9pm onward they've been about every 10 minutes.  But the globby blood is back (it had went away), so combine that with the progress my cervix has made and I'm pretty sure something is really happening.

Obviously sleep is impossible.

Justin is running around the house getting stuff ready.  Vacuuming, blowing up the pool, cleaning out the hose, etc.  He did groceries after Noah went to bed tonight.  Soon we'll probably make up the bed.  Maybe fold some laundry that's in the dryer.

I think I might actually be having this baby today.  September 22... nowhere close to October 10.  18 days early.  Hopefully he's still a good nurser!  And hopefully we have him before Noah wakes up at 7am.  Although with the "puttering" that's been going on for the past 24 hours, that's not guaranteed.  Then again, I went from 5cm dilated to Noah being out half an hour later in my first labour, so anything can happen, really.  That part makes me nervous.  I don't want to call people (midwife, mom, sister) too early, but I also don't want an unassisted birth!

Wouldn't it suck if suddenly things just stop?


Update - it's 6:20am... I haven't slept at all, so I'm exhausted.  I am still contracting regularly, and they're getting longer, stronger,  and more painful, but they're not really getting any closer together (still about 7-10 minutes).  I don't really know what to think.  Thankfully I didn't call and wake anyone up last night.

Contraction Action

Yesterday: Stretch and Sweep.
Last night: Full of hellish contractions.

Time for an update.

This morning I was very nauseous.  I had Justin bring me a garbage can while I was trying to eat toast because I honestly thought I was going to puke.  I couldn't get Noah from his crib until an hour after he woke up because I was so nauseous (thankfully he was quite content in there).

The contractions were only 3 or 4 an hour until about 10:30am when my sister got here (we had previously planned the visit, thank goodness).  They started to increase in frequency then, and they are still really friggin painful.  Some of them aren't so bad, but many of them I would put at a 7/10 on the pain scale.  I can deal with them better if I'm standing up, best if I'm leaning over resting on something.  Sitting or lying down they hurt waaay worse.  I think that's weird.

I'm continuing to bleed, but it's decreasing.

My back still really hurts.

I've had some "loose bowels."

Baby's heart rate is good during the contractions, not really decreasing.

For the past 2.5 hours (at least... I just started officially timing them again 2.5 hours ago) they have been coming approximately every 7 minutes, lasting for about a minute.  And they are still very high on the pain scale.

Thankfully my sister has been here all day to take care of Noah, because I've been useless.

Enough people nagged me (Mom, husband, friend Sarah, sister), so I finally paged my midwife to get her opinion.  I didn't think I really needed to, I just wanted reassurance that this is going to GO AWAY!  The conversation was as fruitless as I thought it was going to be.  She told me to try and get some rest.  Take a gravol and some tylenol (already done several times, it does nothing).  Have a hot bath (the water in my bathtub doesn't cover my belly, so that's a bit useless).  Try and sleep between contractions tonight (ummmm... not gonna happen).  Page her again if things get longer, stronger, or closer together.  Page her again if it's still like this tomorrow afternoon.

She thinks it's quite possible that I could be going into labour, but it's also quite possible that this will all stop.

I feel like I'm at an impasse.  I feel like this might go on for days with no baby.  I'm tired.  I'm in pain.  I don't feel well.  I just want to sleep.  If this ISN'T my real labour, I am super nervous about how bad it's going to be when the time is really here.

I don't know why I had such high hopes that I would BAM go into labour, and within a few hours I'd be holding my baby.

Whoa, That Sucked

In case you didn't read my post from yesterday, I had a midwife appointment where I was found to be 2cm dilated (nothing new, really) and I got a stretch and sweep done.  Yesterday I was cramping all day, with regular (and fairly painful) contractions, and a sore back.  I was bleeding a fair amount - the same amount I bled when I was 4cm dilated and in active, horrible labour with Noah.  You know, the "bloody show".

Well, last night I went to bed a little before 10.  It wasn't a good sleep to start out with.  I was up already at 10:40 to pee.  Then I was up to pee at least every hour, and also awakened by significant (and even more painful) contractions on a regular basis.

Then came 2am.

At 2am the contractions got worse.  They were every 3-7 minutes and they hurt like hell.  I'm pretty sure that laying on my side was the absolute worse position for me to be in during them, but I kept hoping that relaxing and staying in bed would make them go away.

It didn't.

I finally started timing them with an app on my iPod, and between 3:30 and 5am I had 20 brutal contractions.    Then the app wouldn't time any more because I'm cheap and won't pay for the full version.

Meanwhile, I kept going to the bathroom and the "bloody show" was increasing from yesterday.  (I hate the phrase "bloody show", but it definitely wasn't just spotting, so I don't know what else to call it.  It was bright red, mucus-y, goopy, blood.)

Finally around 5:30 the contractions started spacing out a little bit more until they were coming every 15 minutes.  And that is when I knew that I was not in "actual" labour.  I've gone through labour before - no epidural.  I know what labour is.  Last night?  I was in labour.  Unfortunately, it was just not the kind that would bring me my baby.  And it effing sucked.

It's now 6:40 and since my husband is awake, I'm finally "up".  I'm totally and completely exhausted, but relieved.  Being awake, by yourself, in pain, in the dark, thinking you might actually be in labour, from 2am onward?  That's a special kind of awful.

I'm in a really bad mood.  If this happens again tonight I'm going to be really really mad.

37+1 Week Midwife Appointment

I had a midwife appointment this morning at 11.  Blood pressure is still good (110/70), urine is good, and I requested that I stop weighing myself.  Haha, seriously though, it's depressing.  Thankfully she had zero issue with that, so I will be avoiding that freaking scale from now on.

I measured 37.5 weeks, which puts me slightly off-track for growth, as I've been measuring 1-2 weeks ahead for the past month or so.  But this is totally to be expected, considering the baby is pretty low.  I think at this point with Noah I was measuring a little bit behind, even though I had been measuring ahead my whole pregnancy until then.

So yes, the baby is low, but he's not fully engaged... hence the popping up and down he's been doing for me the past few days, which I find rather annoying.

We discussed a few more things:

-I finalized my decision to not do GBS testing.  I have many reasons for this.  I don't feel like getting into it, though.

-I confirmed that we will delay cord clamping and cutting until it stops pulsing... this is what my midwife does as a practice anyway, but I wanted to make sure since I wanted this with Noah and they completely ignored us and clamped and cut his cord while he was still hanging upside down and screaming... there's nothing like respect from your birthing team.

-I okay'd the Vitamin K injection for the baby.

-I nixed the erythromicin for the baby's eyes... Noah didn't have any either.  I don't have gonorrhea, so there is no point to it.

-I okay'd a shot of pitocin during pushing to prevent postpartum hemorrhage.


I got an internal done.  I am, in fact, 2 cm dilated.  The lower part of my cervix is at least 3cm, but it narrows a bit as it goes up.  My cervix lengthens and shortens according to how low the baby's head it, but she said it's very soft.  Basically, she confirmed everything I already knew.

She also did a stretch and sweep, at my request.  Holy Hannah, that friggin hurts.  I had her stop for a break halfway through.  The longer they do it the more effective it is, so I didn't want her to stop completely, but I definitely needed a 30 second break!

I had a bunch of bright red bleeding afterward, which is what you want from a stretch and sweep.  Otherwise you just got put through a bunch of pain for no reason.  I've been spotting ever since, which is also normal/what you want.  I'm now at 4 hours of contractions every 2 or 3 minutes.  Some are painful, some aren't too bad.  If I'm standing when I get them the back of my right leg goes kind of numb and tingly.  It's weird.  Oh, and my lower back is really crampy and painful.

This S&S most likely won't put me into labour, but hopefully it'll help with some early progression.  I have another midwife appointment on Tuesday.  This one is with my second midwife instead of my primary, so hopefully she'll do another stretch and sweep.  Christine seems to think that she will, because I actually want one.  I guess we'll just have to wait and see.  I don't see Christine again for 2 weeks, when I'm 39+1.  That seems so far away.

I'm quite happy to be 37 weeks and already have 2cm behind me in this journey to 10.  I'm interested to see where I'm at by my next appointment!

37 Weeks

Yesterday I woke up and the baby was lower than he'd ever been.  I was 36 weeks 6 days, and I suddenly felt "the crunch."  You know, the crunch of all the last minute things you have to get done before the baby comes that it doesn't make sense to do too far in advance?  We've had his nursery ready for months, his clothes, diapers, and blankets have all been washed, and I have nothing left to purchase for him.  But there were still things that I needed to do, and the fact that his head was so low and my cervix was almost non-existent (it's also been at least 2cm dilated for many weeks) made me feel like I had to get things done NOW.

This past weekend my mother in law gave me a bunch of old towels and a set of old sheets she didn't need.  This meant I got to return the towels and sheets I bought for the birth!  I hadn't taken any tags off or taken anything out of the packaging because I still had/have time, and I wanted to be able to return things if we didn't end up needing them in the event that I didn't end up birthing at home.  So, back to the store these things went yesterday.

I also bought juice, gatorade, and a cheap shower curtain liner.  I have a cheap vinyl mattress cover for my bed if that's where I end up birthing, but because we have a birth pool my midwife said we need something to protect the couch in the event that I birth in the pool, or I'm laboring in the pool and need to get out and get on the couch for whatever reason.  I'm not sure why I hadn't thought of that earlier, because it makes perfect sense.  So now I have the shower curtain and a couple of extra flat sheets, plus a bunch of towels, for this purpose.

Yesterday I also did a bunch of "grooming."  My mom and I dyed our hair, and I got a haircut.  After I had Noah I didn't get a haircut for a year and a half, so I figured I should fit one in while I could!  I also caught up on shaving and plucking various areas.  Not that I ever get very far behind in that area (I'm very anal about body hair... I hate it!), but it felt like a huge relief to have that degree of hair removal done.

After I got home for the day I started washing the towels, sheets, and receiving blankets that I'd been waiting to wash.  I'm still in the process of doing that, and then the freshly washed items are supposed to be packaged into bags, taped shut, and labelled.  There are about 6 or 7 different bags with various combinations of items that need to be made up.  For example, a bag with the bed sheets, a bag with towels and wash cloths, a bag with just washcloths for hot or cold compresses, a bag with receiving blankets and a hat for right after the birth, a bag with clothes for me to change into after I get cleaned up, a bag with clothes and blankets for baby after he gets cleaned up, etc.  This sounds like a lot of prep, but really it just makes life easier for me, my husband, and the midwives.  This way everything can be kept all in one place and nobody needs to ask me where to find something, or which blankets or towels or clothes I want to be used.  Who wants to answer those questions in labour or after pushing a baby out when you're all high on hormones?  I'd probably end up saying, "I don't care!" and then my nice towels or expensive Aden and Anais swaddling blankets would be ruined.

Also high on my list of things to do is repainting my toenails.  It's been a month and I'm in need.  I also want to give Noah another haircut before the baby comes.

Ironically, I got all this accomplished yesterday and into today, and when I checked on the baby today he was not nearly so low anymore, and as a result, my cervix lengthened again.  So my strong sense of urgency has kind of left me. The same thing happened when I was pregnant with Noah.  He would move up and down, and when he did my effacement would change.  My dilation always stayed the same, but the length of my cervix would change all the time.  That's annoying for someone like me.

However, with the high position came a change in position.  The baby's body is usually way on my right side, feet on the left.  This isn't an ideal position because babies are more likely to turn posterior when they're in this position.  And this baby does sometimes go fully posterior.  However, suddenly today his body is on my left side, feet on my right, which is actually the second most ideal position for him to be in (the first being fully anterior).  I'm not convinced that he'll stay in this position, though, considering he is not super far down in my pelvis at the moment.  Maybe I'll take a painful walk with Noah later today to try and get him to move down while he's in this good position.  Then again, maybe I won't.  I feel like this kid is just going to do what he wants to do, and any attempts I make to make him do what I want to do just end up frustrating me because they never work.


Anyway, I'm now 37 weeks, which means home birth is a GO!  If I had given birth yesterday it would have been a hospital birth.  I haven't seen the midwife for 2 weeks (by my choice... she said I could schedule an appointment for last week if I wanted).  However, I've been taking my blood pressure regularly at the drugstore, and we're still all good.  Yesterday it was 106/69.  At this point in my pregnancy with Noah my doctor was scheduling an induction because my blood pressure was like 156/95.  Needless to say, that is good news.

Birth Pool

For many months now I have known that I wanted to be able to have a birth pool for my home birth.  I have constant braxton hicks contractions, many of which are painful.  When I'm in our pool outside they are so much more tolerable, so I was really hoping to be able to at least spend part of my labour in a warm pool.

There is this type of birth pool called "Birth Pool in a Box."  I was thinking I might buy one of those, because they're "real" birthing pools, nice and deep, cushioned bottom, etc.  And they really are reasonably priced.  It would come to about $300 with a few accessories we would need to get with it.  I would totally spend $300 for a comfortable, deep birthing pool if I was guaranteed to be able to use it.

The problem was, I wasn't really down with spending $300 if there was a possibility I might not end up using the pool.  What if something came up in my pregnancy that caused me to have to birth at the hospital?  What if I just didn't feel like getting in the water once I was in labour?  $300 is a lot of money to basically throw out the window if the pool didn't end up being used.  Especially considering we're a single income family and there is a fairly strong possibility that the teachers in our province (of which my husband is one) will end up on strike at some point this fall.

I really should have looked into finding a large, deep, inflatable kiddie pool earlier this summer.  But I didn't.  I'm not really sure why I procrastinated so much, because I'm not usually a procrastinator.  Probably just because I've been in pain for so long, and "browsing" multiple stores for the right kiddie pool with a 2 year old in tow didn't sound very appealing.  By August I knew that the stores would most likely be sold out.  I remembered looking through the big stores for pool toys, puddle jumpers, etc. last summer when we decided to put in the pool, and most things were completely gone by August.  So once this August rolled around I was even more sure that trying to find a kiddie pool would be a wild goose chase.  I didn't even bother trying.

However, I'm 36 weeks (and 2 days) pregnant now, and perfectly healthy.  The chances of me being transferred to an OB at this point are slim.  I will most likely end up being able to have my home birth (unless I go too far past my due date and have to be induced).  The baby is basically posterior, which could possibly lead to prolonged and more difficult labour.  I really really started wanting access to a birth pool, at least to spend part of my labour in (if not the actual birth, as well).

I started calling around to various stores in my area to see if they had any pools left.  I knew they wouldn't, and they didn't.  I was starting to feel just a little bit stressed, thinking I was going to have to spend $300 on a pool that still has the possibility of not being used.

But then I found an inflatable pool online at Canadian Tire.  Someone in the reviews said they had actually used this specific pool for a home birth and it was perfect.  It wasn't in stock at my Canadian Tire, and you can't buy things online from the CT website.  But, you can check the stock in any store you want through the website.  I decided to check the stock in the stores within an hour's driving distance, and the next closest store to me (a 30-40 minute drive) actually had some!

I called before making the trip, to double check that it was the correct pool with the right dimensions (if it's too shallow to cover most of my belly then it's basically useless).  It was, so Noah and I trekked out there today and bought it!

All of that is a very long way of saying - I have a "birth" pool!  And it only cost $50 for the pool and a hose/faucet adaptor to fill the pool with warm water from the tap.  Hooray!  That's a lot cheaper than $300.  If I don't end up using this pool for whatever reason, it's not a huge loss.  I can sell it, or we can let Noah and the baby use it next summer.  Noah still likes to play in our kiddie pool even though we have the big pool.

There is only one problem with labouring in the pool... Noah is already telling me he wants to play in that pool.  And if it's set up in my living room and he's not sleeping, he's totally going to want to be in there with me!  Should be interesting.  Haha.

36 Weeks

How far along: 36 weeks

Stretch marks?: Extensions of existing stretch marks on my sides, but so far not on my belly.

Sleep: Some nights not so bad, other nights I lie awake for up to 4 hours.  For no reason.  For me, a "really good" night is one where I can fall asleep after every time I wake up and go to the bathroom.  A "good" night has me waking up to change positions at least every hour, and peeing every hour or two.  That is as good as it gets.  I never sleep longer than 1 hour at a time, and I NEVER go longer than 2 hours between bathroom breaks.

Symptoms: General physical misery.  Pubic bone sucks.  Back hurts.  Feet hurt.  I often feel like I'm going to pass out or fall over. I'm finding walking to be really hard - not just because it's painful, but because my body just seems to not be able to move properly.  Just putting one foot in front of the other is HARD sometimes.  Yesterday Noah really wanted me to carry him up the stairs.  He only weighs like 30-31lbs, and it honestly felt like I was carrying 150lbs.  It was all I could do to make it, and when I got up the stairs I collapsed on the couch and almost cried.  I also just started swelling a few days shy of 36 weeks.  It's not crazy swelling, but I am normally a pretty bony person, so I notice it.  I have some pitting edema on my shin bones, just like I had with Noah. 

Movement: Constant, uncomfortable, not all that enjoyable.  I don't think I've ever mentioned how this baby is always straightening his legs.  So his bum pushes out really far on my upper right side, and his feet push out really far on my left side.  It is so uncomfortable, and it makes my belly look really ridiculous.  I don't remember Noah really doing that all that frequently, but with this baby it's seriously his signature move.  He does it all. the. time.  Every day.

Best moments this week: This has been a good week so far.  We've been really busy, in a good way, and that's good for both me and Noah.  We've spent lots of time with various members of my family, and today we had a fun afternoon out at the pool with my parents.  Good times.

Food cravings: Junk food.  Specifically chocolate and jujubes.

Sex: Boy!!

Labor signs?: I get a lot of braxton hicks, and for the past couple of weeks I often feel a mild urge to "push" during the contractions because baby's head is pretty low.  I keep losing bits of mucus plug, which really doesn't mean anything, but it's happening.

Belly Button: Fully popped.

What I miss the most: Being pain free.  Wearing normal clothes that actually cover my stomach (with my first pregnancy I didn't understand women who wanted to be out of maternity clothes, but I do this time!).

What I am looking forward to the most: First, meeting my little one.  I can't wait!  A very close second? Not being pregnant.  Perhaps ever again (I'm actually telling myself I'm never getting pregnant again, because it's making this just a little bit easier to deal with).

Milestones: 36 weeks... less than a month until my due date!  In 1 week I'll be full term and then baby can come at any time.  Seriously, child, any time...

Pictures:

36 weeks with a shirt (one of the few that actually cover my belly)

36 weeks bare belly:

And just for comparison, here was the belly at 36 weeks with Noah:

It's hard to compare, because it's from further away and I'm facing the opposite direction, but my current belly definitely sticks out further than it did the first time around.  And I am 2 inches bigger around than I was last time.

I'm Skipping

I'm 99% sure I'm skipping a wedding tonight.  It's for a second cousin of Justin's.  I'm pretty sure I've never even had a conversation with her.  Justin says he doesn't even know what her voice sounds like.  We RSVP'd yes, but for sure neither of us are going to the ceremony.  It started 6 minutes ago.  I was going to go to the reception, but there are the "snags" in that plan.

Here are the issues in order of when they became apparent to me:

1. Reception starts at 6.  Actually, maybe doors open at 6.  It takes a good 45-60 minutes, at least, for all those Italians to make it through the receiving line.  Noah's new bedtime is about 7:45, because he doesn't nap anymore.  He really shouldn't stay up later than that, considering that by then he's been awake for 13 hours with no nap.  Noah is not invited to the wedding, and the location is 25 minutes away from our house.  I'm not really "down" with having someone else put him to bed when it's not a necessity.  It's never been done, and I personally don't see this situation as a necessity.  I also don't want to drive home to put him to bed and then drive back to the reception... I wouldn't get back there until close to 9.  I'd end up missing all of dinner.  What's the point of going to a wedding of someone you barely know when you don't even get the free Italian feast?  Plus I pretty much go to bed at 9 now.

2. I'm in pain.  My pubic bone, of course, and now my back is starting to act up (I've been lucky during this pregnancy and haven't been dealing with consistent back pain... not that I haven't been in constant daily pain in other places).  The pain increases every day. I look like an idiot when I waddle around.  Do I really want to go sit in an uncomfortable chair for hours?  It's not like I'm going to walk around and socialize... ouch.  And we're just going to be sitting at a table with my inlaws.  How boring.  What's the point?

3. I'm sick.  I have a cold.  I don't know where it came from, but my throat hurts and I am blowing my nose constantly.  I don't want to be doing that at a table of food with other people, and I certainly don't want to be walking out of the huge reception hall to do it every 5-10 minutes.  First, that's conspicuous.  Second, walking hurts.


I think being nearly 36 weeks pregnant and being sick and in pain are good enough reasons to skip a wedding.  Then again, ever since I had Noah 2.5 years ago I have become the Queen of Skipping Weddings.  So maybe my point of view is skewed.

Midwife Home Visit

Tonight was my midwife home visit.  It happened to land on exactly 35 weeks.  I measured 36 weeks, and she said the baby has gotten nice and low.  This was not a surprise to me, but it was nice to have confirmed. For the past week during most of my BH contractions (I have 50-100 per day, depending on the day and my level of activity) I almost feel an urge to push.  Obviously the urge isn't as strong as the urge when you're actually in labour, but it's definitely some fairly significant pressure in my bottom.  I figured the baby's head must be a lot lower than it was before for it to be putting that much pressure down there.  Also, when my Mom arrived for the visit she said it looked like I had dropped - and she just saw me on Sunday.

My Mom was here for the visit because the plan is for her to be here for the birth, and the midwives like everyone to be at this visit so they get the "lay of the land," so to speak, and can ask any questions.  My Mom will be here not so much to watch me give birth, but to be an extra set of hands around the house.  She'll get people food and drink, help clean things up, probably clean the house, fetch whatever needs to be fetched, watch Noah (who is not being kicked out during the birth).  My sister is also planning on coming for the same purposes - however, she lives an hour away so we'll just see what happens there.  It's also possible that my Dad might end up here to play with and distract Noah, which he did today during the visit.  I bring Noah to all my midwife appointments and he is a perfect angel at all of them, but he loves to have company over and it makes him really excited and hyper.  I didn't even think of having my Dad come to distract him, but I'm glad my Mom suggested it, otherwise the visit would have been a lot harder to get through.  Noah would have been all over my Mom and Christine.

(For the record, my hope is that I'll birth in the middle of the night and not have to worry about Noah at all.)

The visit was about an hour and 20 minutes long, because there was a lot to talk about.  Christine covered most of the possible (but unlikely) situations, like under what circumstances she would suggest a transfer to the hospital, what would happen if ___ happened to me, or ___ happened to the baby, etc.  All unlikely situations, but things the midwives would rather talk about ahead of time so that it's not brand new information if it happens to be relevant during the birth.

My next appointment is at 37 weeks, unless I decided I wanted to go in next week at 36 weeks.  I haven't decided.  I'll probably wait until 37 weeks, though.

I'm getting pretty excited about the birth again.  The visit tonight made it all feel closer, which is good for me at this point.  I just need to make it 2 more weeks, and then baby can come at any time.  I don't want him coming any time before 37 weeks, however, because then I have to birth in the hospital.  Plus, obviously it's better for him to not be pre-term.  And even though I'm in pain and have been for 7 months, I still want a healthy baby with great lungs and a fully developed suckling reflex.

And Then I Knew

A couple of days ago a friend/distant relative revealed to me that she recently found out she was almost 10 weeks pregnant.  It was a surprise pregnancy.  Long story short, but she actually went to the ER about nausea and stomach pain, and that's how she found out.  She has a 4 year old girl and a little boy who just turned 1 in August.

And then I knew.  For the rest of my life, pregnancy announcements are going to bother me.

Hello, I am 35 weeks pregnant with my second child.  This entire pregnancy has basically been hell.  I have felt like total crap since I was 6 weeks pregnant.  I've been in constant (and increasing) pain since I was 7 weeks.  I would give almost anything right now to just be able to sit on the floor to play with Noah.  Or go outside with him for any other purpose other than going in the pool.  But I can't, because I'm in too much pain.  And that is not a recent development; it's been like this for months.  I no longer enjoy being pregnant, and I wish that I could just never do it again.  At some point I will, because I really do want to have more than two children.  But I have no idea when I'm going to be physically and mentally ready to put my body and my family through this again.

This is my reality.  And yet, this pregnancy announcement bothered me!  She's not even someone who it should bother me for.  You know how there are people who you just can't stand to find out are pregnant?  My older (by 19 months) brother and his wife are one of those couples for me.  But this friend - she tried for awhile to get pregnant with her second baby, and had a miscarriage in that time.  It was a strange fluke, because her first child she got pregnant with her very first cycle trying, and then this baby they weren't even trying.  But it's not like she just pumps out kids like crazy.  And I don't wish fertility issues on her (or anyone).  But I was still bothered.

It was so dumb.  If I was bothered by a pregnancy announcement from her while I am 35 weeks pregnant (and physically miserable), I am going to be bothered by these announcements for the rest of my life.  It will never stop bothering me that other people can "accidentally" get pregnant.  Or even that they can plan to get pregnant.

I've also gotten to the point that it really bothers me that most people don't have as physically painful pregnancies as I do.   I actually don't know a single other person who does.  None of my friends or acquaintances have such painful pregnancies. 

I am just mad.  I am mad that it's not just infertility that will affect how many children I have.  It really friggin' sucks that my body's inability to be pregnant normally affects my husband and kid(s) so much that I can't bear to do this to myself or them again in the foreseeable future, and that it will most likely stop me from having any more than three children.


I'm fine.  I just had to complain.  Hopefully by the time I'm, like, 40, pregnancy announcements won't bother me anymore.  It wouldn't surprise me if they still did, though.

Also,for the record, I do feel guilty that I no longer enjoy being pregnant.  I feel like after dealing with infertility and having to jump through hoops to get pregnant, I should be able to maintain a special appreciation for actually being pregnant.  I was able to do so during my first pregnancy.  I often said "My body doesn't like being pregnant, but I love it."  Well, no longer.  I don't like it.  Sometimes I think it might be best that I have to jump through those hoops, because if I got pregnant easily and had these kind of pregnancies I can't imagine how much I would detest being pregnant.

I do feel really guilty for feeling this way.  But my Mom said something the other day that made me feel a little bit better.  She and my Dad were recently out West for my cousin's wedding, and many people asked how I was doing, because I'm pregnant.  My Mom's answer was, "Well... not great.  She really doesn't do pregnancy well.  But she sure does love her babies, and she couldn't be a better Mom or put any more of herself into her parenting."

It's true.  I no longer enjoy being pregnant, but I sure do love my kids.  And I do everything humanly possible to parent them in the best, most loving way I possibly can.

Pregnancy at 34.5 weeks

It is officially September.  I can finally say "I'm having a baby next month!"  Really, considering I'm due October 10 I could be having a baby this month, but in all likelihood it won't be until October.  However, it definitely won't be any later than next month, and that is a relief.

I haven't done a pregnancy update in awhile.  I think the last one was at 29 weeks.  I don't have a recent belly picture taken - the last one was at 32 weeks.  I do want to post some things about this pregnancy, though.

-At about 30 weeks I completely lost sight of my "womanhood".  One week I could see it, if I really contorted.  The next week - nope!  I'm trying to remember correctly, but I think I measured myself and I grew an entire inch in circumference in just that one week.  If it wasn't a inch, it was two.  I couldn't believe it.

-You can imagine that now, at 34.5 weeks, I definitely can't see those parts anymore.  I am now measuring just a hair under 46 inches around.  That is almost 2 inches bigger around than I ever got with Noah, and he was born at 38 weeks 3 days.  For a slim person, 46 inches is HUGE!  I don't think I  myself look huge, but my belly sticks out SO FAR.

-This was my belly at 32 weeks (my belly sticks out further now):

I already had to pull down on my tops to make them remotely cover my belly (and even then it's not very good coverage).  Otherwise they're like this:

You can't see it because I'm sideways, but there's a lot of skin bare between my tank and my shorts.  You can see that the bottom of my shirt does not come down very far at all!  And, remember, this was at 32 weeks.  I'm 2.5 weeks further along than this, and still have 5.5 weeks until my due date.

-I know it doesn't matter, but I have to say, I'm not a huge fan of the shape of my belly.  I wish it was spread out top to bottom just a little more.  It looks too "torpedo-ish" to me.

-It probably goes without saying that 85% of my maternity tops no longer cover my belly.  Many of them don't even cover it when I've yanked them down as far as possible.  Thankfully I don't work outside the home, because my wardrobe would be very very limited.

-My pubic bone hurts more and more all the time.  It seems that every other day it just gets worse.  It really stinks that it's been hurting since I was 7 weeks.  Considering that and my size so early on, I feel like I've been in the third trimester for 7 months already.

-Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night (which happens a minimum of 4 times each night, often more) is a major feat, mainly because of the pubic bone pain.  Any movement after I've been lying on my side for a few minutes really hurts, but actually getting out of bed?  It takes several minutes.  Once I finally get so that I'm no longer lying down (which is very difficult because I have 3 or 4 large pillows stacked on either side of me that I have to have between my legs for both the pubic bone pain and hip pain), I have to sit on the side of the bed for several minutes just to try and let things get back into alignment.  After doing that, I have to take tiny shuffling steps to the bathroom, and the whole time my pubic bone and back are painfully cracking and popping.  If I try to take slightly larger steps, or skip the "letting things realign" phase?  Forget it.  I literally can't even walk.

-Obviously, flipping over in bed on an hourly basis is excruciatingly painful.

-After the slightly increased spotting a few nights ago, I've had no spotting the three nights after that.  So I didn't call my midwife about it.

-I am doing my best at spreading my housework out throughout the week.  I am someone who likes to have a completely clean house a couple of times a week, and I like to get all the housework done on one day.  Now I'm making a point of just doing a few tasks each day.  If I vacuum downstairs, I'll wait until the next day to vacuum upstairs.  If I clean one bathroom one day, I'll wait until another day to clean the other bathroom.  I won't wash floors on the same day I do another larger cleaning task.  It's not bad to do it this way, it's just different than what I'm used to.  It seems better for me physically though, because I'm feeling less like I tried to run a marathon while 9 months pregnant.

-I can't seem to get this baby to settle into a good position.  He either wants to be posterior, or with his back on my right side and feet on my left, which according to Spinning Babies might as well be posterior.

-I will be full term on September 19.  I'm just pretending to myself like I only have a few weeks left.  It makes the pain and discomfort just a little bit easier to deal with if I'm not thinking that I have to make it all the way to October 10 (or longer).  I am reaching that point in pregnancy where I'm SO DONE with all the pain that I'm starting to not give a crap about everything I know about labour, birth, the ideal way to do things, the way I want to do things, etc. etc., and if I was given the opportunity to induce in a couple of weeks, I would probably take it.  This is one of the reasons I am glad I am with a midwife - it's not going to happen.  Also, Justin is being very good at reminding me that even if I don't care right now, I will care later.

-Justin starts back to teaching on the 4th.  I'm very thankful that he's not coaching for the first season, because he'll be home by about 3:30pm everyday.  This will be extremely helpful for me both for the end of pregnancy and when the baby comes.  He always coaches all 3 seasons, so he barely has one week during the school year that he's not spending an extra 20 hours away from us on top of his teaching (and no, he does not get paid any extra for that).  This will be a fabulous change.

-Slightly off topic, but my selfish hope right now is that due to the feud going on between the province and the teacher's unions, there will be a work to rule and there will be nothing for Justin to coach this year.  It's a looong story, but basically the province is trying to crap all over teachers right now. I posted really briefly about it back in March and there has been zero progress made since then, unless you count the government manufacturing an education crisis that doesn't exist, telling lies about teachers to the media to turn the public opinion against them, and literally breaking the law to strip teachers of all their bargaining rights.  They are seriously trying to pass new laws to make it so that the illegal things they're currently trying to do will be legal.  OSSTF, the secondary school teacher's union (Justin's union, in particular) is taking the government to court.  New contracts were supposed to exist by September 1, and they don't.  Because new crappy contracts don't exist, many of the teachers are getting the raises that they are entitled to get according to the salary grid (because every year up to year 11 they move up in years experience).  But the government will try and take those raises away with new legislation, which is completely ridiculous.  So really, we don't know what's happening at all.  I think we know what Justin will be paid on Monday (he hasn't gotten paid since June), but after that?  No.  It's a wonderful time of uncertainty.  Not.


-Besides just dying to not be pregnant anymore, I'm really really looking forward to meeting our baby.  We are always wondering what he'll be like, what he'll look like... I can't wait to snuggle up with his newborn goodness, kiss his soft skin, and have Noah meet him.  I can't wait until he's actually part of our lives, rather than living inside of my skin.