Isaiah's Birth Story (For Real)

Early Labour

My due date with Isaiah was October 10, 2012.  My midwife, Christine, and I had agreed that once I hit 37 weeks, we would begin doing stretch and sweeps on a weekly basis.  The point of this was to help me not go overdue, since I had been in such bad pain for so long (starting at 7 weeks).  It usually takes several stretch and sweeps for them to do anything (and some people will swear they don't do anything at all), so we thought starting at 37 weeks might hopefully mean I'd have the baby around 39 weeks.

I had a midwife appointment on Thursday September 20, at which I was 37 weeks 1 day.  I had been checking myself for weeks, and had been dilated for quite awhile.  I already knew before going to the appointment that I was at least 2cm dilated, which Christine confirmed when she did the internal.  I was 2cm, very soft, but still kind of long (the length of my cervix varied hourly, depending on how low Isaiah's head was at the moment).  She did a really good stretch and sweep.  Like, really good.  It hurt, like it is supposed to.  Afterward I bled.  Not just spotting, but like the bloody show I had with Noah when I was in active labour.  It was not excessive bleeding, but enough to know things really got stirred up in there.

My appointment was at 11am, and by 12pm I was having very frequent BH.  They were uncomfortable and achy (my back was especially achy), but not super painful.  Noah and I spent the afternoon with my Dad at my parents' house, and I tried to walk around a bunch to "help things along" (keep in mind, however, that I thought I was just dilating further, not actually going into labour.  You're supposed to be crampy after a stretch and sweep.)

By the late afternoon I was more crampy and achy.  I was really hoping that I was actually dilating, because otherwise it really sucked.  That night I went to bed a little before 10. It wasn't a good sleep to start out with. I was up already at 10:40 to pee. Then I was up to pee at least every hour, and also awakened by significant (and even more painful) contractions on a regular basis.

At 2am the contractions got worse. They were every 3-7 minutes and they hurt like hell. I'm pretty sure that laying on my side was the absolute worst position for me to be in during them, but I kept hoping that relaxing and staying in bed would make them go away.  It didn't.

I finally started timing them with an app on my iPod, and between 3:30 and 5am I had 20 brutal contractions. Then the app wouldn't time any more because I'm cheap and won't pay for the full version.  Meanwhile, I kept going to the bathroom and the "bloody show" was increasing from the day before.

Finally around 5:30 the contractions started spacing out a little bit more until they were coming every 15 minutes.  I figured this wasn't 'real' labour.

When I got out of bed Friday morning (keep in mind I'd been awake since 2am) I felt really nauseous.  I was confused, because nausea is supposed to be a sign that labour is imminent, but my contractions had spaced out.  There were only 3 or 4 an hour until about 10:30am when my sister got here (we had previously planned the visit, thank goodness). They started to increase in frequency then, and they got really friggin painful. Some of them weren't so bad, but many of them were at a 7/10 on the pain scale. I could deal with them better if I was standing up, best if I was leaning over resting on something. Sitting or lying down they hurt waaay worse. I thought that was weird.

So, all during Friday I was contracting painfully every 7 minutes, each contraction lasting 1 minute.  I also had the runs (also a sign of imminent labour), and I continued to bleed (although the bleeding didn't increase).

Around 4pm I called my midwife.  I didn't think I really needed to, I just wanted reassurance that this is going to go away! The conversation was as fruitless as I thought it was going to be (not Christine's fault, it was just the nature of my labour). She told me to try and get some rest. Take a Gravol and some Tylenol (already done several times, it did nothing). Have a hot bath (the water in my bathtub doesn't cover my belly, so that's a bit useless). Try and sleep between contractions tonight (ummmm... not gonna happen). Page her again if things get longer, stronger, or closer together. Page her again if it's still like this tomorrow afternoon (that would be Saturday).

Around 9pm on Friday contractions slowed to about every 10 minutes.  However, the bloody show was back with a vengeance   At midnight that night I checked myself after an especially painful contraction (I'd been avoiding doing this because I was sore down there from the stretch and sweep).  I felt like I was more dilated.  The baby's head was low, and I could feel his water sack bulging.  Shortly after checking myself my contractions got closer together.  They were coming every 3-4 minutes for awhile, and we thought we might actually have the baby before Noah woke up around 7am.  We were running around the house getting things ready - blowing up the pool, vacuuming, doing laundry, backing up pictures and videos so we could clear the SD cards in our cameras, etc.  Really, Justin was doing most of this, but I was doing my part to get things ready between contractions.

I also took my last belly picture:

By 3:30am nothing had changed.  Contractions spaced out to every 7-10 minutes again.  They were longer, stronger, and more painful, but not closer together.  I gave up and told Justin to go to bed.  I went to bed too, but I didn't sleep a wink that whole night.

The next morning things continued the exact same way.  At about 10:30am I called my midwife.  Things were just too ridiculous to wait until the afternoon.  She said she had actually been anticipating that I would call her in the middle of the night (so was I!).  She had a home visit to make at 11:30, and then she was coming to our house around 1.  She said with the strength of my contractions she'd be really surprised if I'd had no cervical change, and we'd try a few tricks to speed things up.

Midwife Arrives

Christine arrived right around 1.  She took my vitals, and we hung out for awhile while she timed my contractions.  They did not perform well for her.  I had a long, strong one.  Then 10 minutes later had a weak, 30-40 second one.  Then 10 minutes later I had a medium one.  It was lame.

Around 1:45 or 2pm she checked my cervix.  Remember, on Thursday (about 50 hours earlier) I was 2cm.  I was now a very very stretchy 6cm.  She could stretch me to 8cm with no problem.  She and I were both pretty pleased with that, and she said "Lauren, you're having that baby today!"  I'm pretty sure I replied with "Oh thank the LORD!"  She asked if she could do another stretch and sweep, and I said yes.  This one wasn't as long as the first one, but I think it was equally painful.

Active Labour

Immediately after the stretch (so around 2pm) my contractions started coming every 3-4 minutes and they were even stronger and more intense.  She had previously suggested that I take a labour tincture, and I asked her if I really needed to, considering I was suddenly in active labour.  She said "Yes, take it, we want to make sure the contractions stay regular."  She was thinking she'd give me a couple of doses, but I ended up only taking one.

I called my mom and said "Alright, I'm in labour, come on over!  Like, NOW, I'm 6cm.  And call Giliane."  I was really needing her to arrive, because I needed support from someone.  My midwife was busy setting up all her supplies and equipment, and Justin was playing with Noah in the basement.  In between contractions I yelled down to him that I needed the pool filled ASAP.  It was one thing when contractions were every 7-10 minutes.  It was a whole other thing when they were every 3-4 minutes!

I'm not sure what time my Mom arrived.  Basically from the time Christine stretched my cervix and onward I have no idea what time anything happened until Isaiah was actually born.  But she did arrive, and once she did she rubbed my back hard through a few contractions.  Then the pool was ready, so she went downstairs to distract Noah while I got in the water.

I laboured in the water for awhile, and it was much better than labouring on land.  The water was really  hot, which felt great for the contractions, but it was heating me up so I had a fan blowing on me and Justin was bringing me cold washcloths for my face, neck, and chest.  At some point during this another midwife arrived.  It wasn't my second or third midwife, because neither of them were available.  It was the fourth midwife in the practice - the one I had never even met.  I didn't really care though, because Christine was there and she was in charge.

At some point Christine suggested we get out of the pool and talk about breaking my water.  They also wanted to take my vitals.  I didn't really want to artificially break my water, because I didn't want things to get worse and I knew they would.  However, her reasoning went something like this: "It's not a bad idea, Lauren.  It would be good to know the colour of the water.  If there's meconium we won't have time to get to the hospital, but we can call EMS to wait outside just in case the baby aspirated any of it.  It will likely make the contractions more intense, but the baby will probably be here in about half an hour."  Christine is not usually a "break the water" kind of person (she had 4 or 5 babies born in the caul in the last year), so I think this was mostly because a) I live 25 minutes from the hospital, and b) I'd been in labour for 2 days already.

Anyway, we walked to the bedroom and I had a bunch of contractions. Let me tell you, they SUCKED out of the water (not that they rocked in the water, but they were certainly better!).  They took my pulse, which was high, and my blood pressure, which was super low (like, 80/35 or something crazy like that).  The baby's heart rate was also high.  We determined that all of this was because the water in the pool was too hot, so we agreed to add more cold water before I got back in.

I hemmed and hawed for awhile about the water-breaking thing, but then just decided to go for it because if there was meconium in the water and if the baby had aspirated any of it, I wanted to make sure EMS would be there to suction out his lungs.

At this point I was 7-8 cm dilated.  Christine broke my water and they carefully examined it for meconium.  A lot of bloody show came out with the water, so there were a couple of spots they looked at closely with a flashlight, but it was determined that the water was clear.  Relief.

I got back in the tub.  My contractions were a lot more intense.  I had already been feeling pushy during them, and that continued.  Before now I was quiet during the contractions, but now I had to moan lowly through them.

I believe about half an hour passed (it must have been about 4:24pm) when I had a particularly pushy-sounding contraction.  Christine asked me if I felt like pushing, and I said yes, so she said she would check me.  She had me change positions so that my bottom was facing in a better direction (the way I was facing there wasn't really any access for the midwives for when the baby came).  This was tough to do, but I managed.  While I was moving I said that I didn't want to push, because pushing was scary (we have this all on video, which is how I remember this part so clearly).  I said Noah just pushed himself out of me and I didn't really have to do anything, and I really didn't want a long drawn out pushing phase with this baby.  Christine encouraged me, of course, and then checked my cervix.  I was 9 cm with a little bit of length left.  This was at 4:26.

Christine and Joanne (second midwife) then told me I should get out of the pool, go to the bathroom, and have a few contractions on land.  I didn't have to pee, and I really didn't want to try and walk, but I agreed.  They helped me out of the prone position and onto my knees, but right when I got on my knees I had a huge contraction and started pushing uncontrollably.  They could tell from my noises, so Christine started telling me not to push.  I said "I can't help it I'm pushing like crazy!"  She said, "You're only 9 cm Lauren, you're not ready.  Say 'house house house' it's pretty impossible to push when you're saying that."  

I ignored this, because it's actually pretty impossible to say "House" when you're pushing :)  And there was no way I was able to stop what my body was doing.  I was on my knees in the pool with my hand down there feeling what was going on.  At that point Justin (who was off camera) said "Breathe deep, babe, just stop pushing."  I took my hand off of myself and waved it him in a "Just be quiet, you don't know what you're talking about" kind of way.  Not that I was mad, but I had 3 people telling me to stop pushing when I knew this kid was coming out NOW.

Right after doing that I put my hand back down there and everything was pushing outward and I could feel myself opening up.  While pushing I said, "Nope... he's coming."  Christine said "He's coming?  Okay," really calmly and walked over to get gloves and equipment ready.  I think Joanne was like "Oh my goodness get your gloves on!" But Christine said, "She's okay, she's got this."  And I totally did.  This was the part where I felt 100% in control.  All my pain seemed to be gone, and I wasn't feeling any of the stretching or the "ring of fire" from crowning.  The water seemed to make it all go away.

At this point I just pushed his head out.  I was kneeling in the tub with my hand on his head, and it felt amazing.  I couldn't believe his head was out of me.  Christine unwrapped the cord from around his neck (it was looped once, like Noah's), then told me to bring my legs back and push his shoulders out.  I didn't really need any coaching, because it was all just happening on it's own, but I kind of moved backward (although I can't remember what position I was in) and pushed the rest of him out (4:29pm).  Christine and I lifted him up onto my chest.  It was such a relief!  He was soooo tiny, I could tell immediately that he was smaller than Noah was at birth.  It took him 20 seconds to start crying, and there was talk of cutting the cord (they thought he might need resuscitation), but I knew he would be fine.  I rubbed the bottom of his feet and talked to him and he immediately started crying.

So, from the time I was checked and told I was 9 cm to when Isaiah came out was 3 minutes.  I was pushing for about 2 of those minutes, but it was basically just one long instinctual push.  Nothing needed to be coached, it was just my body doing what it had to do to get the baby out.  I loved it.

Within a few minutes of his birth I got out of the tub so they could assess my bleeding (it's hard to tell when you're bleeding into water).  My midwifes lifted me up while I was still holding Isaiah and I got on the couch.  Within about 2 minutes of that I delivered the placenta.  Then all the other stuff went on.  Checking for tears (I had a small first degree tear - which is kind of amazing considering he came out so quickly I had no time to stretch - it must have been the water), sutures, some uterine massage, etc.  I was just cuddling Isaiah this whole time.  He nursed about 30-45 minutes after he was born (he wasn't interested before that), 20 minutes on each side.

After I was done being stitched, my mom, sister, and Noah came upstairs.  Noah was pretty excited about his little brother being on the outside now.  The first thing he said was "He is so little and tiny!!  Awww... he's so cute!"

Eventually I was ready to have him weighed (7lbs), measured (20 inches, with a 13 inch head - 1.8 inches smaller than Noah's!) and examined.  This was all done on the couch next to me, so I could be touching him the whole time.

(I just saw that I'm holding Noah's hand in this picture:)

Christine stayed until... actually, I don't know.  At some point I got off the couch and she helped me shower and get dressed.  The shower went a lot smoother than my shower after giving birth to Noah, where I felt like I was going to pass out.  My Dad showed up right after I got out of the shower.  I guess he'd been at home just waiting for someone to tell him to come over, but we never got around to it, so he took it upon himself to come visit.  My mom ordered pizza for everyone for dinner, and Christine stayed for that.  I'm thinking she must have left around 7 or 7:30, after reviewing all the "things to watch out for" with me.  My mom bathed Noah for us, but I did end up nursing him before he went to bed.

After Noah went to bed my inlaws showed up for a brief visit.  I wasn't there for most of it because I was changing Isaiah's diaper and then nursing him again (while relaxing in bed).  

It was Saturday evening and I had been awake since Thursday at 2am, so I really wanted to go to bed and crash, but I was just way too keyed up to sleep.  I kept replaying the birth in my head.  In a weird way I am sad that it's over.  It's like after your wedding - you are anticipating it for so long and then it goes so quickly and all you have is the memories.  Although in this case I have my actual baby:)  But still.  It's the same sort of "Well... that's over" feeling.

I did end up getting about 4 hours of sleep that night, which was good.  The next night I only got one hour, and I believe I had a meltdown that day.

All in all, my birth was amazing.  I mean, it would have been nice if I didn't have 2 days of early labour with zero sleep, but since it ended up bringing me my baby and I still had a wonderful home birth, with my midwife who I love, it doesn't really bother me.  It makes for an interesting story, anyway.

We all couldn't stop talking about how awesome it was to have a home birth.  It's too bad more people don't do it.  It's awesome to give birth and already be in your own house, on your own couch, going to sleep in your own bed.  You're not woken up by nurses every 3 hours, and there aren't tons of people poking and prodding you and your baby.  The midwife comes to your house for a visit the next day, and on days 3 and 5 (at least they do where I live) to check on you and the baby.

It was just such a calm, comfortable experience.  Christine was so calm, comforting, and encouraging.   I couldn't have asked for a caretaker that I felt more comfortable with and who was more my style.  If I ever have another baby I can only hope she's still practicing in my area.

So, that's the super long story of how Isaiah Matthew made his entrance into our lives.  I didn't think I could immediately love another baby as much as I love Noah, but I totally do.  

Isaiah's Birth Story

Early Labour

My due date with Isaiah was October 10, 2012.  My midwife, Christine, and I had agreed that once I hit 37 weeks, we would begin doing stretch and sweeps on a weekly basis.  The point of this was to help me not go overdue, since I had been in such bad pain for so long (starting at 7 weeks).  It usually takes several stretch and sweeps for them to do anything (and some people will swear they don't do anything at all), so we thought starting at 37 weeks might hopefully mean I'd have the baby around 39 weeks.

I had a midwife appointment on Thursday September 20, at which I was 37 weeks 1 day.  I had been checking myself for weeks, and had been dilated for quite awhile.  I already knew before going to the appointment that I was at least 2cm dilated, which Christine confirmed when she did the internal.  I was 2cm, very soft, but still kind of long (the length of my cervix varied hourly, depending on how low Isaiah's head was at the moment).  She did a really good stretch and sweep.  Like, really good.  It hurt, like it is supposed to.  Afterward I bled.  Not just spotting, but like the bloody show I had with Noah when I was in active labour.  It was not excessive bleeding, but enough to know things really got stirred up in there.

My appointment was at 11am, and by 12pm I was having very frequent BH.  They were uncomfortable and achy (my back was especially achy), but not super painful.  Noah and I spent the afternoon with my Dad at my parents' house, and I tried to walk around a bunch to "help things along" (keep in mind, however, that I thought I was just dilating further, not actually going into labour.  You're supposed to be crampy after a stretch and sweep.)

By the late afternoon I was more crampy and achy.  I was really hoping that I was actually dilating, because otherwise it really sucked.  That night I went to bed a little before 10. It wasn't a good sleep to start out with. I was up already at 10:40 to pee. Then I was up to pee at least every hour, and also awakened by significant (and even more painful) contractions on a regular basis.

At 2am the contractions got worse. They were every 3-7 minutes and they hurt like hell. I'm pretty sure that laying on my side was the absolute worst position for me to be in during them, but I kept hoping that relaxing and staying in bed would make them go away.  It didn't.

I finally started timing them with an app on my iPod, and between 3:30 and 5am I had 20 brutal contractions. Then the app wouldn't time any more because I'm cheap and won't pay for the full version.  Meanwhile, I kept going to the bathroom and the "bloody show" was increasing from the day before.

Finally around 5:30 the contractions started spacing out a little bit more until they were coming every 15 minutes.  I figured this wasn't 'real' labour.

When I got out of bed Friday morning (keep in mind I'd been awake since 2am) I felt really nauseous.  I was confused, because nausea is supposed to be a sign that labour is imminent, but my contractions had spaced out.  There were only 3 or 4 an hour until about 10:30am when my sister got here (we had previously planned the visit, thank goodness). They started to increase in frequency then, and they got really friggin painful. Some of them weren't so bad, but many of them were at a 7/10 on the pain scale. I could deal with them better if I was standing up, best if I was leaning over resting on something. Sitting or lying down they hurt waaay worse. I thought that was weird.

So, all during Friday I was contracting painfully every 7 minutes, each contraction lasting 1 minute.  I also had the runs (also a sign of imminent labour), and I continued to bleed (although the bleeding didn't increase).

Around 4pm I called my midwife.  I didn't think I really needed to, I just wanted reassurance that this is going to go away! The conversation was as fruitless as I thought it was going to be (not Christine's fault, it was just the nature of my labour). She told me to try and get some rest. Take a Gravol and some Tylenol (already done several times, it did nothing). Have a hot bath (the water in my bathtub doesn't cover my belly, so that's a bit useless). Try and sleep between contractions tonight (ummmm... not gonna happen). Page her again if things get longer, stronger, or closer together. Page her again if it's still like this tomorrow afternoon (that would be Saturday).

Around 9pm on Friday contractions slowed to about every 10 minutes.  However, the bloody show was back with a vengeance   At midnight that night I checked myself after an especially painful contraction (I'd been avoiding doing this because I was sore down there from the stretch and sweep).  I felt like I was more dilated.  The baby's head was low, and I could feel his water sack bulging.  Shortly after checking myself my contractions got closer together.  They were coming every 3-4 minutes for awhile, and we thought we might actually have the baby before Noah woke up around 7am.  We were running around the house getting things ready - blowing up the pool, vacuuming, doing laundry, backing up pictures and videos so we could clear the SD cards in our cameras, etc.  Really, Justin was doing most of this, but I was doing my part to get things ready between contractions.

I also took my last belly picture:

By 3:30am nothing had changed.  Contractions spaced out to every 7-10 minutes again.  They were longer, stronger, and more painful, but not closer together.  I gave up and told Justin to go to bed.  I went to bed too, but I didn't sleep a wink that whole night.

The next morning things continued the exact same way.  At about 10:30am I called my midwife.  Things were just too ridiculous to wait until the afternoon.  She said she had actually been anticipating that I would call her in the middle of the night (so was I!).  She had a home visit to make at 11:30, and then she was coming to our house around 1.  She said with the strength of my contractions she'd be really surprised if I'd had no cervical change, and we'd try a few tricks to speed things up.

Midwife Arrives

Christine arrived right around 1.  She took my vitals, and we hung out for awhile while she timed my contractions.  They did not perform well for her.  I had a long, strong one.  Then 10 minutes later had a weak, 30-40 second one.  Then 10 minutes later I had a medium one.  It was lame.

Around 1:45 or 2pm she checked my cervix.  Remember, on Thursday (about 50 hours earlier) I was 2cm.  I was now a very very stretchy 6cm.  She could stretch me to 8cm with no problem.  She and I were both pretty pleased with that, and she said "Lauren, you're having that baby today!"  I'm pretty sure I replied with "Oh thank the LORD!"  She asked if she could do another stretch and sweep, and I said yes.  This one wasn't as long as the first one, but I think it was equally painful.

Active Labour

Immediately after the stretch (so around 2pm) my contractions started coming every 3-4 minutes and they were even stronger and more intense.  She had previously suggested that I take a labour tincture, and I asked her if I really needed to, considering I was suddenly in active labour.  She said "Yes, take it, we want to make sure the contractions stay regular."  She was thinking she'd give me a couple of doses, but I ended up only taking one.

I called my mom and said "Alright, I'm in labour, come on over!  Like, NOW, I'm 6cm.  And call Giliane."  I was really needing her to arrive, because I needed support from someone.  My midwife was busy setting up all her supplies and equipment, and Justin was playing with Noah in the basement.  In between contractions I yelled down to him that I needed the pool filled ASAP.  It was one thing when contractions were every 7-10 minutes.  It was a whole other thing when they were every 3-4 minutes!

I'm not sure what time my Mom arrived.  Basically from the time she stretched my cervix and onward I have no idea what time anything happened until Isaiah was actually born.  But she did arrive, and once she did she rubbed my back hard through a few contractions.  Then the pool was ready, so she went downstairs to distract Noah while I got in the water.

I laboured in the water for awhile, and it was much better than labouring on land.  The water was really  hot, which felt great for the contractions, but it was heating me up so I had a fan blowing on me and Justin was bringing me cold washcloths for my face, neck, and chest.  At some point during this another midwife arrived.  It wasn't my second or third midwife, because neither of them were available.  It was the fourth midwife in the practice - the one I had never even met.  I didn't really care though, because Christine was there and she was in charge.

At some point Christine suggested we get out of the pool and talk about breaking my water.  They also wanted to take my vitals.  I didn't really want to artificially break my water, because I didn't want things to get worse and I knew they would.  However, her reasoning went something like this: "It's not a bad idea, Lauren.  It would be good to know the colour of the water.  If there's meconium we won't have time to get to the hospital, but we can call EMS to wait outside just in case the baby aspirated any of it.  It will likely make the contractions more intense, but the baby will probably be here in about half an hour."  Christine is not usually a "break the water" kind of person (she had 4 or 5 babies born in the caul in the last year), so I think this was mostly because a) I live 25 minutes from the hospital, and b) I'd been in labour for 2 days already.

Anyway, we walked to the bedroom and I had a bunch of contractions. Let me tell you, they SUCKED out of the water (not that they rocked in the water, but they were certainly better!).  They took my pulse, which was high, and my blood pressure, which was super low (like, 80/35 or something crazy like that).  The baby's heart rate was also high.  We determined that all of this was because the water in the pool was too hot, so we agreed to add more cold water before I got back in.

I hemmed and hawed for awhile about the water-breaking thing, but then just decided to go for it because if there was meconium in the water and if the baby had aspirated any of it, I wanted to make sure EMS would be there to suction out his lungs.

At this point I was 7-8 cm dilated.  Christine broke my water and they carefully examined it for meconium.  A lot of bloody show came out with the water, so there were a couple of spots they looked at closely with a flashlight, but it was determined that the water was clear.  Relief.

I got back in the tub.  My contractions were a lot more intense.  I had already been feeling pushy during them, and that continued.  Before now I was quiet during the contractions, but now I had to moan lowly through them.

I believe about half an hour passed (it must have been about 4:24pm) when I had a particularly pushy-sounding contraction.  Christine asked me if I felt like pushing, and I said yes, so she said she would check me.  She had me change positions so that my bottom was facing in a better direction (the way I was facing there wasn't really any access for the midwives for when the baby came).  This was tough to do, but I managed.  While I was moving I said that I didn't want to push, because pushing was scary (we have this all on video, which is how I remember this part so clearly).  I said Noah just pushed himself out of me and I didn't really have to do anything, and I really didn't want a long drawn out pushing phase with this baby.  Christine encouraged me, of course, and then checked my cervix.  I was 9 cm with a little bit of length left.  This was at 4:26.

Christine and Joanne (second midwife) then told me I should get out of the pool, go to the bathroom, and have a few contractions on land.  I didn't have to pee, and I really didn't want to try and walk, but I agreed.  They helped me out of the prone position and onto my knees, but right when I got on my knees I had a huge contraction and started pushing uncontrollably.  They could tell from my noises, so Christine started telling me not to push.  I said "I can't help it I'm pushing like crazy!"  She said, "You're only 9 cm Lauren, you're not ready.  Say 'house house house' it's pretty impossible to push when you're saying that."  

I ignored this, because it's actually pretty impossible to say "House" when you're pushing :)  And there was no way I was able to stop what my body was doing.  I was on my knees in the pool with my hand down there feeling what was going on.  At that point Justin (who was off camera) said "Breathe deep, babe, just stop pushing."  I took my hand off of myself and waved it him in a "Just be quiet, you don't know what you're talking about" kind of way.  Not that I was mad, but I had 3 people telling me to stop pushing when I knew this kid was coming out NOW.

Right after doing that I put my hand back down there and everything was pushing outward and I could feel myself opening up.  While pushing I said, "Nope... he's coming."  Christine said "He's coming?  Okay," really calmly and walked over to get gloves and equipment ready.  I think Joanne was like "Oh my goodness get your gloves on!" But Christine said, "She's okay, she's got this."  And I totally did.  This was the part where I felt 100% in control.  All my pain seemed to be gone, and I wasn't feeling any of the stretching or the "ring of fire" from crowning.  The water seemed to make it all go away.

At this point I just pushed his head out.  I was kneeling in the tub with my hand on his head, and it felt amazing.  I couldn't believe his head was out of me.  Christine unwrapped the cord from around his neck (it was looped once, like Noah's), then told me to bring my legs back and push his shoulders out.  I didn't really need any coaching, because it was all just happening on it's own, but I kind of moved backward (although I can't remember what position I was in) and pushed the rest of him out (4:29pm).  Christine and I lifted him up onto my chest.  It was such a relief!  He was soooo tiny, I could tell immediately that he was smaller than Noah was at birth.  It took him 20 seconds to start crying, and there was talk of cutting the cord (they thought he might need resuscitation), but I knew he would be fine.  I rubbed the bottom of his feet and talked to him and he immediately started crying.

So, from the time I was checked and told I was 9 cm to when Isaiah came out was 3 minutes.  I was pushing for about 2 of those minutes, but it was basically just one long instinctual push.  Nothing needed to be coached, it was just my body doing what it had to do to get the baby out.  I loved it.

Within a few minutes of his birth I got out of the tub so they could assess my bleeding (it's hard to tell when you're bleeding into water).  My midwifes lifted me up while I was still holding Isaiah and I got on the couch.  Within about 2 minutes of that I delivered the placenta.  Then all the other stuff went on.  Checking for tears (I had a small first degree tear - which is kind of amazing considering he came out so quickly I had no time to stretch - it must have been the water), sutures, some uterine massage, etc.  I was just cuddling Isaiah this whole time.  He nursed about 30-45 minutes after he was born (he wasn't interested before that), 20 minutes on each side.

Eventually I was ready to have him weighed (7lbs), measured (20 inches, with a 13 inch head - 1.8 inches smaller than Noah's!) and examined.  This was all done on the couch next to me, so I could be touching him the whole time.

Christine stayed until... actually, I don't know.  At some point I got off the couch and she helped me shower and get dressed.  The shower went a lot smoother than my shower after giving birth to Noah, where I felt like I was going to pass out.  My Dad showed up right after I got out of the shower.  I guess he'd been at home just waiting for someone to tell him to come over, but we never got around to it, so he took it upon himself to come visit.  My mom ordered pizza for everyone for dinner, and Christine stayed for that.  I'm thinking she must have left around 7 or 7:30, after reviewing all the "things to watch out for" with me.  My mom bathed Noah for us, but I did end up nursing him before he went to bed.

After Noah went to bed my inlaws showed up for a brief visit.  I wasn't there for most of it because I was changing Isaiah's diaper and then nursing him again (while relaxing in bed).  

It was Saturday evening and I had been awake since Thursday at 2am, so I really wanted to go to bed and crash, but I was just way too keyed up to sleep.  I kept replaying the birth in my head.  In a weird way I am sad that it's over.  It's like after your wedding - you are anticipating it for so long and then it goes so quickly and all you have is the memories.  Although in this case I had my actual baby:)  But still.  It's the same sort of "Well... that's over" feeling.

I did end up getting about 4 hours of sleep that night, which was good.  The next night I only got one hour, and I believe I had a meltdown that day.

All in all, my birth was amazing.  I mean, it would have been nice if I didn't have 2 days of early labour with zero sleep, but since it ended up bringing me my baby and I still had a wonderful home birth, with my midwife who I love, it doesn't really bother me.  It makes for an interesting story, anyway.

We all couldn't stop talking about how awesome it was to have a home birth.  It's too bad more people don't do it.  It's awesome to give birth and already be in your own house, on your own couch, going to sleep in your own bed.  You're not woken up by nurses every 3 hours, and there aren't tons of people poking and prodding you and your baby.  The midwife comes to your house for a visit the next day, and on days 3 and 5 (at least they do where I live) to check on you and the baby.

It was just such a calm, comfortable experience.  Christine was so calm, comforting, and encouraging.   I couldn't have asked for a caretaker that I felt more comfortable with and who was more my style.  If I ever have another baby I can only hope she's still practicing in my area.

So, that's the super long story of how Isaiah Matthew made his entrance into our lives.  I didn't think I could immediately love another baby as much as I love Noah, but I totally do.  

Welcome Isaiah!

Our second sweet baby boy, Isaiah Matthew, was born at 4:29pm on September 22, 2012.  He was 18 days early, and weighed in at exactly 7lbs and 20 inches.

We had a wonderful waterbirth at home, and are both doing great.  He is already a wonderful nurser!  I am so in love:)

Birth story to come!

Labour Update Part 2

It's just about noon.  Things are the exact same.  Painful contractions, about 10 minutes apart.  Low head, bulging sac.  I don't know how dilated I am because I don't want to dig around too much to figure it out and risk breaking my water (plus I'm not sure I'd be all that great at figuring out anything past a 2 or 3), but I'm pretty sure I've made it to at least 3.

My midwife has a home visit with another client at 11:30, but she is coming around 1pm with her "bag of tricks."  I can't take this anymore.  2 days of labour with no end in sight, and I'm running on only 2 hours of sleep from back on Wednesday night.  I'm sure the baby is fine right now, but we can't keep doing this.  It's not good for either of us long term (especially not ME, who is getting no sleep!).

This is going to end with a baby.  I'm 99.9% sure these contractions are not going to go away.  So either we'll find something natural that will work to put me into active labour, or I'll end up getting induced to get me there (seriously?).  Let's hope it's the first situation because I really don't want an induction.

What's up with the whole "second babies take half the time" rumor?  This second baby is taking like 15 times longer than Noah took!  I mean, I realize I was induced with Noah, but STILL.  This is ridiculous.  He better be here by this time tomorrow!

Labour Update

It's 12:50am.  At 12am I decided to check myself after a really freaking painful contraction.  My guess is that I'm about 75% effaced.  I can't even guess on the dilation.  His head is super low. I am 99% sure I can feel a little bulge from his water sack, and when I poke on it his head is right there and VERY hard, not like I'm poking at it through any muscle or tissue.

My contractions have slowed down and most of this evening from about 9pm onward they've been about every 10 minutes.  But the globby blood is back (it had went away), so combine that with the progress my cervix has made and I'm pretty sure something is really happening.

Obviously sleep is impossible.

Justin is running around the house getting stuff ready.  Vacuuming, blowing up the pool, cleaning out the hose, etc.  He did groceries after Noah went to bed tonight.  Soon we'll probably make up the bed.  Maybe fold some laundry that's in the dryer.

I think I might actually be having this baby today.  September 22... nowhere close to October 10.  18 days early.  Hopefully he's still a good nurser!  And hopefully we have him before Noah wakes up at 7am.  Although with the "puttering" that's been going on for the past 24 hours, that's not guaranteed.  Then again, I went from 5cm dilated to Noah being out half an hour later in my first labour, so anything can happen, really.  That part makes me nervous.  I don't want to call people (midwife, mom, sister) too early, but I also don't want an unassisted birth!

Wouldn't it suck if suddenly things just stop?


Update - it's 6:20am... I haven't slept at all, so I'm exhausted.  I am still contracting regularly, and they're getting longer, stronger,  and more painful, but they're not really getting any closer together (still about 7-10 minutes).  I don't really know what to think.  Thankfully I didn't call and wake anyone up last night.

Contraction Action

Yesterday: Stretch and Sweep.
Last night: Full of hellish contractions.

Time for an update.

This morning I was very nauseous.  I had Justin bring me a garbage can while I was trying to eat toast because I honestly thought I was going to puke.  I couldn't get Noah from his crib until an hour after he woke up because I was so nauseous (thankfully he was quite content in there).

The contractions were only 3 or 4 an hour until about 10:30am when my sister got here (we had previously planned the visit, thank goodness).  They started to increase in frequency then, and they are still really friggin painful.  Some of them aren't so bad, but many of them I would put at a 7/10 on the pain scale.  I can deal with them better if I'm standing up, best if I'm leaning over resting on something.  Sitting or lying down they hurt waaay worse.  I think that's weird.

I'm continuing to bleed, but it's decreasing.

My back still really hurts.

I've had some "loose bowels."

Baby's heart rate is good during the contractions, not really decreasing.

For the past 2.5 hours (at least... I just started officially timing them again 2.5 hours ago) they have been coming approximately every 7 minutes, lasting for about a minute.  And they are still very high on the pain scale.

Thankfully my sister has been here all day to take care of Noah, because I've been useless.

Enough people nagged me (Mom, husband, friend Sarah, sister), so I finally paged my midwife to get her opinion.  I didn't think I really needed to, I just wanted reassurance that this is going to GO AWAY!  The conversation was as fruitless as I thought it was going to be.  She told me to try and get some rest.  Take a gravol and some tylenol (already done several times, it does nothing).  Have a hot bath (the water in my bathtub doesn't cover my belly, so that's a bit useless).  Try and sleep between contractions tonight (ummmm... not gonna happen).  Page her again if things get longer, stronger, or closer together.  Page her again if it's still like this tomorrow afternoon.

She thinks it's quite possible that I could be going into labour, but it's also quite possible that this will all stop.

I feel like I'm at an impasse.  I feel like this might go on for days with no baby.  I'm tired.  I'm in pain.  I don't feel well.  I just want to sleep.  If this ISN'T my real labour, I am super nervous about how bad it's going to be when the time is really here.

I don't know why I had such high hopes that I would BAM go into labour, and within a few hours I'd be holding my baby.

Whoa, That Sucked

In case you didn't read my post from yesterday, I had a midwife appointment where I was found to be 2cm dilated (nothing new, really) and I got a stretch and sweep done.  Yesterday I was cramping all day, with regular (and fairly painful) contractions, and a sore back.  I was bleeding a fair amount - the same amount I bled when I was 4cm dilated and in active, horrible labour with Noah.  You know, the "bloody show".

Well, last night I went to bed a little before 10.  It wasn't a good sleep to start out with.  I was up already at 10:40 to pee.  Then I was up to pee at least every hour, and also awakened by significant (and even more painful) contractions on a regular basis.

Then came 2am.

At 2am the contractions got worse.  They were every 3-7 minutes and they hurt like hell.  I'm pretty sure that laying on my side was the absolute worse position for me to be in during them, but I kept hoping that relaxing and staying in bed would make them go away.

It didn't.

I finally started timing them with an app on my iPod, and between 3:30 and 5am I had 20 brutal contractions.    Then the app wouldn't time any more because I'm cheap and won't pay for the full version.

Meanwhile, I kept going to the bathroom and the "bloody show" was increasing from yesterday.  (I hate the phrase "bloody show", but it definitely wasn't just spotting, so I don't know what else to call it.  It was bright red, mucus-y, goopy, blood.)

Finally around 5:30 the contractions started spacing out a little bit more until they were coming every 15 minutes.  And that is when I knew that I was not in "actual" labour.  I've gone through labour before - no epidural.  I know what labour is.  Last night?  I was in labour.  Unfortunately, it was just not the kind that would bring me my baby.  And it effing sucked.

It's now 6:40 and since my husband is awake, I'm finally "up".  I'm totally and completely exhausted, but relieved.  Being awake, by yourself, in pain, in the dark, thinking you might actually be in labour, from 2am onward?  That's a special kind of awful.

I'm in a really bad mood.  If this happens again tonight I'm going to be really really mad.

Birth Story

Not to be confused with birth plan, which was completely disregarded :)

Thursday morning at 6:30 we went in and got hooked up to the monitors for awhile. We were very excited - and I was very nervous! At about 7:15 they started my IV antibiotics and the pitocin. Some people take a long time of turning the dose up before their contractons start. Morning isn't usually my "contraction-y" time... if it had been evening they probably only would have done the starting dose. They only had to turn the dose up once before my body took over with regular contractions.

My OB came at 8:30 to break my water. He was teasing me about my birth plan (yeah right, that was so far gone at that point ) and he said "I have to do this now because the next time I see you you won't be in the mood" (He was right). He said I was only about 1 cm dilated and about 50% effaced (Noah kept floating into and out of the birth canal before this so my effacement was always changing).

The water breaking was quite the experience. Soooo much gushing, both at the time and for at least 2 hours afterward. The nurse would try to get me in underwear with a pad and I would soak right through it. She gave up and I just sat on tons of towels and waterproof pads that we kept changing for quite some time before we could get the underwear on.

After my OB broke my water the contractions almost immediately got stronger and I really had to concentrate to relax. By 10:30 I was in agony. I could not relax during contractions anymore, no matter what I did (and believe me, the nurse was impressed with my level of relaxation with the kind of contractions I had been having). I couldn't even relax between contractions anymore. I was shaking like crazy and really feeling like I couldn't do it.

I had been warned that if things get like that you should really consider medication because if you're in that much pain and that tense that you can't even relax between contractions, then you're going to have a very long labour because your cervix will take forever to dilate due to the tension.

I had Justin call the nurse, who checked me to see how much progress I had made. I was only 2 cm dilated and 75% effaced. In 2 hours of decently strong contractions I had only progessed 1 cm and 25% effacement. I was horrified. Plus, because I was only 2cm dilated she didn't want to give me the fentynol (IV pain pump). They usually wait until 3-4cm.

So I had to take the gas. It didn't work at all. I still couldn't relax, but now I felt high. And if there wasn't going to be any benefit, I didn't want it. So I stopped using it. I don't know how much time passed, because I was in too much pain to be aware, but I asked for something else, so she checked me again. I was only 2.5cm. I think by then it was around 11:30. I can't remember, because that's second hand information. I was unaware.

Even though I wasn't at 3, the nurse gave me the pain pump because I wasn't progressing because of my complete inability to relax.

It was amazing. I was suddenly able to relax between contractions, and the drugs slowed things down a bit so I had some longer breaks, and the contractions were a bit less intense for a little while. This went for about an hour I think, and then they really picked back up again. By 1:15 I was writhing in pain and unable to stop moaning. The contractions were RIGHT on top of each other with no break. I thought I had to be close.

The nurse checked me again (at 1:15), and I was only 5 cm dilated, but the baby was waaaay down low. I don't know what station, but he was way past the 0 station.

I could not believe I was only 5cm dilated with the contractions the way I'd been having them. I think I remember the nurse saying "It'll go fast from here" but my mind was so far gone from the worst pain I'd ever experienced.

They helped me onto my side, and I moaned "I'm so hot, I'm so hot." Justin got ice packs from his food cooler and was rubbing them over my arms and legs.

Right after I got on my side again the contractions changed. They were still beyond horrible, but now I was uncontrollably pushing with them. I told the nurse that I was pushing and that I couldn't help it. She was like "Yes, it's the pressure from the baby, it makes your bottom feel like you have to push." But for me it wasn't my bottom, it was literally my vagina. It didn't feel like the same push. But like I said, it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to not push.  I was terrified, because I had just been checked and was only 5 cm, so I was so afraid that I was going to push Noah through a cervix that wasn't fully dilated and the entire thing would just rip open.  I'd heard of the "urge to push," but I'd only heard one person talk about how she couldn't not push no matter how hard she tried. That was what it was like for me. I couldn't not push. It was beyond my control.

I had no idea how long I laid there on my side with constant (seriously, constant) contractions where I was pushing, but suddenly I felt this stretching pain and I was like "It hurts! I think I'm crowning!" The nurse said "Lauren, you need to roll over, I need to check you." But I couldn't. She and Justin rolled me over and the baby's head was right there. She had me bring my hand down to touch it.

Unbeknownst to me, it was only 1:39. I went from 5cm dilated at 1:15 to the baby's head right there at 1:39.

Things were flying around then. Another nurse came in and I remember her saying "I hope my patient goes this fast!" My OB wasn't there, obviously, because they hadn't had a chance to call him until my baby's head was almost out!

My head was all over the place and it was overwhelmingly scary. I couldn't concentrate on anything anyone was saying because of the insane amount of pain and pressure. And I felt like I had no idea what in the world I was doing. I remember a nurse saying "With each contraction you're going to give 3 good pushes." But I couldn't tell when I was contracting and when I wasn't. My contractions were way too close together, and the pressure was just too huge. So I just felt like I was sometimes pushing actively, sometimes pushing passively, not really sure if I was doing things at the right times or not. The nurses would slide their fingers around my vagina to try and stretch it and I was like "STOP IT!" It was just one more pain I didn't need. Of course, they didn't listen. lol. Who would?

My OB came in and I remember the nurses teasing him about something, to which he replied "Well I don't have time to change! Someone tie me up!" (Justin told me later that they were making fun of him because his dress pants were rolled up around his calves... I wish I could have seen that!)

He then said to me "So was this on page 4 of your birth plan, Lauren? Oh, right, no jokes." (I remembered the "no jokes" part, but Justin had to fill me in on the first part of what he said). I couldn't even look at him, much less respond. I probably looked insane.

So I'm pushing uncontrollably, and then my OB said "Lauren, I know this wasn't what you wanted but you're really stretching badly and if I cut you we can control what happens down there." At this point I'm wishing someone would just stick their hands inside of me and yank the baby out, so all I could do was moan "I DON'T CARE!"

And that is how I ended up with an episiotomy. Justin said they had been freezing me down there in anticipation of having to do one because I was stretching so much. He said that it semeed like the OB did try and wait, but that things really weren't going to stretch anymore.

The next thing I remember is my OB saying "Lauren, you're not having a contraction right now" (I honestly couldn't tell) "but if you just push gently his head will come out no problem." So I gave a push (I don't know how hard I pushed... I don't think it was very hard) and I felt his head slip out of me.

I have no idea how those shoulders came out because I don't remember pushing for them, but then it was the most glorious feeling of emptiness and liquid, and suddenly the pain and pressure were completely gone.

At 1:54 pm, my beautiful son, Noah Samuel James, was being held upside down in the air and crying. I was trying to grab him and kept telling them to give him to me. There were shenanigans with the cord (we wanted to wait until it stopped pulsating, but it had already gotten clamped, and then the clamp wasn't quite right...) that made it feel like a lot longer before I got to hold my baby. It was probably actually only 20 seconds!

As soon as they gave him to me I cuddled him into my neck and started rubbing him and talking to him and he stopped crying right away. It was the most amazing feeling to be holding my son. I can't even describe the joy I felt. I couldn't stop rubbing his tiny, waxy body and telling him how much I love him and kissing his head over and over.

I started nursing him right away and he latched on no problem and nursed for 2 wonderful hours. I finally had to pee so badly I couldn't wait anymore. We bundled him and gave him to his daddy for the first time (poor Justin waited 2 hours to hold his son!) and I got in the shower. I felt so weak in there with my hanging loose tummy. The nurse dried me off and got me dressed and back into bed, where I nursed for a little longer before getting in the wheelchair with Noah and being brought down to the maternity floor.


Just to recap, at 1:15 I was 5cm dilated. Right after that I started pushing uncontrollably while laying on my side, thinking I was still just dilating. At 1:39 I was checked and I was 10cm and the baby was almost out. At 1:54 he came out completely.

All in all I think I had a pretty good experience. It was excruciating during most of the 3 hours I was in really hard labour, but it went really fast at the end. And now our tiny little Bambino lives with us and we can cuddle him anytime we want:)

Our Little Boy!

Noah Samuel James

Born: March 18th, 2010, at 1:54pm

7 lbs. 12 oz.

21.5 inches long

Birth story to follow soon...

Big Day for Us

Well, I'm FINALLY home! Man it's been a long day!

My OB appointment went fine. My BP was 136/97, which kept our induction plans right on schedule. That might not look high to the average person, but it's actually the worst I've been. I've had way high top numbers, but it's the bottom number that OBs are most concerned with. I guess anything over 85 causes them to keep a closer eye. At my first appointment at 8 weeks my BP was 106/65. A bottom number of 97 is sky high for anyone, but especially for me! So 6:30am on Thursday we're going in for our induction. Eeek!:)

After our appointment we did errands. We had to exchange a car seat base Justin had bought on Sunday because they gave us a tan one instead of silver (even though they rang through a silver base). We had to exchange a blanket and outfit that we received as gifts, but already had. I had to pick up mail from my mailbox at work, and I had to cash my WSIB cheque.

We then went to my parents' house because my mom had returned and exchanged a bunch of shower presents for us, and we had to pick up the money and items. While we were there we started talking about how badly we need to buy a van. Right now we have a Kia Rio5 and a 4-door Jeep Wrangler. They're both relatively new (2009 and 2007), but neither of them fit a carseat well. In the Kia, nobody can really sit in the passenger's seat if the carseat is in there. Justin is 6'5" and can't fit in it at all, and when I'm in it my knees are pressed up against the dashboard and my head is basically hitting the ceiling from being so erect. Nobody can drive like that for more than a couple of minutes. In the Jeep there's a little more room, but I'm still sitting pretty far forward and I'm uncomfortably erect.

We knew this was the case back in December, so I had decided back then that we have to get a minivan. However, because the baby wasn't coming for months, I guess I just chose to ignore reality. Then about a week and a half ago we installed the carseat base in the Kia (since that's the car I drive the most) and when we put the carseat in I was reminded how HORRIBLE it fits and that we both can't drive in that car at the same time.

I had Justin go buy another base and install it in the Jeep, since there was a little more room in there. He also put the carseat in and has been driving around for a couple of days with it. Today was the first day I actually sat in the passenger's seat on the way into town, which is a 20-25 minute drive. I was immediately uncomfortable, and reaaaally annoyed at myself and Justin because we'd been procrastinating so much. Now our baby was coming in 2 days and we didn't have a car we could really drive in together. That's not really a problem that can be solved in 2 days.

I was also having these horrible thoughts about how I'd be all bruised and stitched and in pain and having to contort into an uncomfortable position in a VERY bouncy Jeep to drive 25 minutes home with the baby. And even if I could handle that (which I was going to have to), when in the heck were we supposed to find time to go buy a new car? I'm giving birth on Thursday, then Justin goes back to work, and besides that, we'll have a newborn! It would have been sometime in the summer before we were going to have time to car shop!

Besides this, we had been told that we should sell the Jeep privately rather than trade it in to a dealer, because we'd get more money for it privately than we would from a dealer. But the Jeep needs the windshield and spare tire replaced, we'd have to safety and e-test it, and neither of us has the first CLUE about how to sell a car and all the paperwork and logistics involved. And who has time, anyway?

So I'm talking to my mom about my discomfort in the Jeep and she was like "Why don't you guys just go look around at some dealerships and see what's out there so you have an idea?"

We had nothing else to do for the afternoon, so we decided to do that.

Long story short, we are now the proud owners of a minivan!

We managed to trade our Jeep in for a 2008 Dodge Caravan SE with only 15000 km on it (that's about 9000 miles). It's one of those minivans that looks more like an SUV than a minivan - not those cheesy "classic" looking minivans.

The carseat fits PERFECTLY, I can comfortably recline my seat, Justin can sit as far back as he wants, and we can fit four other people in the van along with us and Bambino! And the seats are stow and go, so they fold into the floor.

So we traded our Jeep for a van that's one year newer, has 21 000 less km, is way more comfortable, and has waaay more room. AND they gave us $128 because apparently the Jeep was worth a bit more than van. I didn't know that dealers would actually cut YOU a cheque if you traded in a car that was worth more than what you were buying. I figured you always had to trade up.

It's currently sitting in our driveway. That's how easy it was. It was basically signing some paperwork and trading keys. Amazing! No hassle whatsoever. And now we'll be super comfortable.

It was sad for us to trade in the Jeep because that was our first new car together. But it had to be done, and we're actually both thrilled with the situation - even Justin, who is in love with Jeeps and never thought he'd drive a minivan.

I'm so excited. Bambino on Thursday and a new car!

Oh, and I have been painfully contracting every 3-4 minutes ALL DAY LONG. With the amount of contractions I have, the baby should just be FALLING out of me. The fact that my cervix is not a gaping hole at this point makes me worried about how the induction will go.

37.5 Week OB Appointment = Eventful

My blood pressure today was 160/90. Not good. Since this was the second week in a row, my laissez-faire OB wasn't thrilled about it either. He asked me if I've been having any contractions, so I told him about the painful contractions I've had the past 3 nights. Surprisingly, he wanted to check my cervix after that. He normally doesn't do cervix checks until 38 weeks, but between the blood pressure and the contractions he wanted to see what was up down there. Nothing too major, just partially effaced and dilated. The baby is head down (like we knew), but he's not locked in position. Which explains why he drops down really low at night, and then overnight he pops back up again. You can still feel his head in the morning, but it's way higher up. It's been like this for weeks. He just won't engage.

He wanted me to come in again on Thursday. I said, "Tomorrow?" and he said "Today is Wednesday? What are you doing here on a Wednesday??" He usually sees his very pregnant patients on Tuesdays - I guess for this reason - but Wednesday was more convenient for me.

Since Thursday is tomorrow he decided just to see me on Tuesday, like normal, because he doesn't see patients on Friday and Monday. He does surgeries and stuff.

However, he did decide he wants to induce me, and he booked an induction for next Thursday. Since my cervix is ready for induction, and my BP is high, he doesn't want me walking around for so long with high blood pressure. But he also wants to give the baby as long as possible inside of me, so he didn't book it until Thursday. If I had protein in my urine and was gaining a lot of weight and swelling up, he would have booked it sooner. Or if I was walking around 3 cm dilated he would have booked it sooner, because there's no point in letting me walk around with high blood pressure when I'm that close to delivery.

I asked him what happens if my BP is normal at my Tuesday appointment, and he said we'll just deal with it then (and then teased me for being such a teacher and always having to have a plan for everything). But somehow I don't think this induction is getting cancelled. Unless my BP is normal and I decide I want it cancelled. Otherwise he'll just keep it.

So, Thursday March 18th might be our baby's birthday. 11 days early.

Induction was not in my plans, and basically throws the rest of my birth plan out the window (you know, the parts that weren't already thrown out the window by being GBS+ and not getting a midwife). I'm trying to adjust my expectations and get excited (despite the incredibly different birth than what I wanted)! The baby is coming in a week!

Justin is pretty pumped. But he's not the one who has to go through the tougher induced labour. I'm glad he's excited, though. It'll rub off on me, I'm sure. The news just hasn't quite sunk in:)

Day 2 - These Better Be Doing SOMETHING!

Last night after DH and I had sex again, the exact same thing happened with the painful contractions. They were hurting sooo bad for hours. It made me start to freak out a bit more about the pain of actual labour.

Apparently there are 3 emotional stages of labour: excitement, seriousness, and self-doubt. The emotional stages correspond to where you actually are in your labour. Excitement is early labour when things aren't so bad and you're talking and smiling; seriousness is when you're in active labour and can't talk through your contractions and bite people's heads off when they breathe wrong; and self-doubt is when you're really close to pushing and you start to think that you can't do it anymore.

Well, last night I was definitely in the serious stage. I couldn't talk through the contractions, and I wanted to punch Justin. We were on the bed and I was lying on my side and at one point he kept moving his feet around, which made the bed move slightly, and every slight movement made the contraction hurt more. Then everytime he got up and would come back to the bed he would just plop down and make the bed jostle a LOT. After the second or third time, after my contraction was over, I snapped at him and told him if he can't be considerate of me NOW, I don't want him in the labour room and I'll get my mom to come in instead. And I really meant it at the time!

Plus I was really annoyed because I was in a lot of pain, but I was doing everything I'd learned to do from our birthing method - fully relax every part of your body, don't even tense up your face, close your eyes, breathe normally through your stomach... the point is to look like you're asleep. You're not supposed to look or act like you're in pain because it makes the pain worse. So that's what I was doing. Justin was supposed to be doing certain things too. I mean, this is PERFECT practice for real labour: I was in real pain and was having contractions right on top of each other! But he was just fidgeting beside me, moving the bed around and causing me more pain, ignoring me, and watching TV.

I didn't think I would have to be so specific with him after we read the books and I made him an instruction sheet and everything. I really don't have time to give him direct instruction when I only have a minute break between contractions.

Men.


(My husband is a very wonderful person, and is usually very helpful and sweet. I don't want you to think that he is a neglectful, self-absorbed person! I don't know what was up last night.)

37 Weeks!!!

I am officially full-term! Bambino may come anytime he wants, because his mom is in excruciating pain. If I wasn't, I actually think I'd be really patient at this point.

In the past week (or maybe a little more) my back has gotten sooo bad. I had a really bad back in the first trimester, and part of the second. But I've been seeing my chiropractor regularly for 3 1/2 months, and for the past 7 weeks I've been seeing him 3 times a week, so my back hasn't really been hurting much. Until now. Something drastically changed with my belly. I don't know what it is, but my back is just terrible. So not only do I have horrible pain in my hips and pubic bone, but now my back pain is horrible too. (At least this is something that happens to almost every pregnancy woman, unlike the burcitis and the torn cartilage in the pubic bone).

I was at the chiropractor on Friday and he said to me (again) "Hang in there, you only have a week left!" (Remember, he's convinced that I'm going to go this week, sometime before the 14th.) I said to him (again) "Yeah, according to you. I don't think I'll be going next week." He replied that next week (now this week) he's going to use a technique he hasn't used with me before called the Webster Technique. This technique is apparently used (very successfully) to turn breech babies (works over 80% of the time) and to bring on labour. I think it can only bring on labour because it gets the baby in the most optimal position, so if your body is ready to go, the baby getting into that perfect position can make you go into labour. In that way it's like any other natural induction technique... it would only work if your body is ready for it to work.

As soon as he said that I said "DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!" in almost a threatening sort of way. He said no, we'll do it next week and I replied "DO IT NOW!!! I'm a couple of days from full-term and I am in SO much pain, just get it started now!!" He wouldn't give in. He just said he'd do it at every visit next week.

So today will be the first time... we'll see how it goes.

In the meantime, I'm doing everything I can to get this show on the road. I'd be jogging the block if it was physically possible for me to do so. I bounce on the birthing ball, I massage the right accupressure points, and last night Justin and I had sex. Interestingly, immediately following the sex I had the most frequent, regular, and painful contractions I have ever had.

If you follow my blog you know that I'm a huge recipient of Braxton Hicks. I get 50-100 of them everyday. And everyday I have a few hours where they come like clockwork. Sometimes every 2-3 minutes, sometimes every 4-5 minutes, depending on the day, but still totally regularly.

Last night they were all at least 60 seconds long, one on top of the other (I maybe had a one minute break between contractions) and they hurt! Whenever I have contractions I relax my whole body and breathe through them, so they don't hurt. Normally they only hurt if I'm forced to be walking around during them. But last night I was completely relaxing and breathing through them and they actually hurt pretty bad! I know they weren't hurting as much as they will when I'm in real active labour, but they were painful enough, long enough, close together enough, and went on for long enough that I was starting to wonder if I might actually be going into labour. They were bad enough that I had Justin going from room to room fetching everything I needed to pack the baby's diaper bag with (this was one of the last things on my to-do list... I wanted to get Bambino's stuff out of my hospital bag and into his own).

After a couple of hours they didn't hurt so much anymore, and I was able to fall asleep. I was still contracting regularly all night long, just not painfully. I had to pee every 45 minutes (not kidding, I didn't make it a whole hour once the entire night), and everytime I got up to pee I had at least 4 contractions before I was able to fall asleep again.

And once again I woke up stupid early and was unable to fall back asleep. It was 4:30 this morning, which is actually kind of late for me.

Regardless, I'm going to take a nap now. Or try, anyway.

Hospital Pre-Registration

On Wednesday Justin and I went to our hospital pre-admission registration appointment. I really liked the nurse who was going through everything with us. I feel like I got all my questions answered. Whether or not they were answered to my satisfaction is another story, but that wasn't her fault.

I like my OB as a person, but the appointment confirmed my fears about him. I had an idea that he was the kind of doctor who does what he wants, regardless of what you want. I got this impression because at my appointments with him he never tells me any details about anything. He never tells me what I measure unless I ask; he doesn't calculate the heart rate, he just listens to it to make sure it sounds normal; when he does a cervix check he only tells you whether you're in labour or not (forget finding out about effacement, dilation, or the station of the baby).

Apparently my impression is reality. He is The Doctor, and he will do what he wants to do. He does routine episiotomies, breaks your water with very little warning (and no asking if you want him to break it), gives two routine doses of pitocin during the second and third stage of labour (one with the shoulders, one for the placenta). He won't close a c-section with stitches, he'll only use staples. Etc. etc.

There is actually a pretty good chance that I won't have him for my delivery, unless I'm induced. In my town there are 5 OBs, and unless you're delivering during your own OB's office hours, the OB on call delivers your baby. The nurse said that the other OBs are much more flexible and willing to listen to and accommodate the mother. But she said in case I do have my OB, I need to talk to him about certain parts of my birth plan so that these things aren't sprung on him at the last minute. I guess he doesn't like that.

I have a feeling my birth isn't going to go the way I want it to go and the way I've prepared for it to go. It's just the feeling I have, and I have a good basis for that.

1. My OB is very old school, and routinely does things that I don't want him to do.

2. I have to give birth in a hospital because I couldn't get a midwife.

3. I have this horrible pubic bone injury that causes me so much pain, and I won't be able to use all the techniques and positions that I was hoping to use during labour and delivery because of it.

4. My bursitis will cause similar problems.

5. I wanted to labour at home for as long as possible before going into the hospital. Now I'm afraid to do that, because of what happened when my good friend was giving birth this past Tuesday. Her baby ended up in major distress and her heart rate plummeted with every contraction. They ended up doing an emergency c-section (I'm talking emergency, as in no time for an epidural to take effect, belly prepped and scalpels ready before she was even knocked out) and it took the doctors 2 minutes to get the baby breathing after she was born.

I really really want a totally natural, drug free labour. Now I'm afraid that won't happen because of the extra pain that I'm already experiencing and because doctors just do what they want, regardless of your feelings.

I feel defeated already. I'm trying to adjust my expectations, because I am 100% positive that things aren't going to go my way.