Cycle Info

It's Wednesday.  I wanted to go into town to run errands today.  Instead I am stuck in my house.  On Monday I got my period, and its so heavy I can't be away from a bathroom for longer than an hour.  So instead I am baking a chocolate cake (I've been craving chocolate like nobody's business), listening to music, and hanging with my little man.

While I'm feeling annoyed at being house-bound, I thought I would write out my last cycle information (since this blog is my catch-all space).

-It was a 42 day cycle.

-CD 1 was Monday, March 7.

-I had EWCM from CD 27 to CD 32 (April 2 - April 7).

-I had moderately sore nipples from CD27 to CD 31 (April 2 - April 6).

-I had really sore nipples from CD 32 - CD 35 (April 7 - April 10).

-My period came on Monday, April 18.


I'm really not sure when (IF??) I ovulated.  I'm guessing maybe on April 7th, give or take.  That was my last day of EWCM, and also the first day of really, really (I mean really) sore nipples.  That would make my luteal phase about 10 days long.  When I was doing treatments and was actually successfully ovulating, my LP was 12 days.  This was only my second cycle after giving birth, and I'm still BFing 10+ times a day, so it's normal that my LP be short for awhile.  Just like it's normal to have such a long cycle at the beginning.

I do know that I never noticed so much and such pronounced EWCM in the whole time I was TTC.  So I do wonder if I actually am ovulating.  I wish I didn't have such a bad track record with OPKs.  I just can't trust them because of my high LH.

I'm glad I decided to keep track of all this.  I'd like to see a pattern emerging.  I had EWCM for 6 days, which is kind of a long time, and sore nipples for 9 days, which is quite a long time.  And I got my period a mere 7 days after all the symptoms were gone.  I was expecting it before Sunday, but really didn't think I was going to get it on Monday. 

So I will continue to track my cycles and symptoms.  And we will continue to sprinkle a few 'marital relations' in amongst the EWCM, just in case. 

It's the Infertility in me.  I just can't let a cycle go by without giving it a try.  Even though I don't have the burning desire to get pregnant again right now, and I like things how they are, I do want a couple more children.  And a natural-miracle-pregnancy would still be welcome.

I wonder if this is what normal people feel like when they decide to have a baby.  Not all high strung and "LET'S GET PREGNANT RIGHT THIS SECOND!!!!!!" but just casually seeing what will happen.  I wouldn't know, because it was never casual for me.  From the second I was able to try to get pregnant, I wanted it to have happened 3 months earlier and was very bothered when it didn't.

And even now, we most likely will not be getting pregnant without ART.  So why is there this little tickle in my brain telling me that just maybe we will???  My logical side tells me otherwise, but that teeny voice is still there.

Back on the Fertility Train??

I think it might be time for me to jump back on the fertility train.  Or rather, the infertility train. 

As I mentioned in my angry post about getting my period back, approximately two weeks (a little less, actually) before I got my period, I was showing fertility signs.  Really sore nipples when Noah was nursing, egg-white CM, maybe a few twinges in the ovarian area.

Well, my first day of this cycle was March 7 (I only know that because I blogged about it), and now, April 4, I am having those fertility signs again.  Starting on April 2 I was having lots of EWCM, and my nipples are starting to get sore again.  Not as terrible as they were last time, but that might still be to come.

I'm not wanting to start actively trying to get pregnant, although we're not preventing it.  Still, I think it might make sense for me to start paying a little more attention to my body.  Who knows when I'll want to get pregnant again (I could say 'we,' but really, my husband will just follow my lead).  When I do want to, it's quite possible I'll want it to have happened YESTERDAY (since that's how it goes with me and my "ideas").  It'll probably be good to have just a basic amount of cycle information.  Just cycle start dates and maybe the EWCM and sore nipple thing.  I think its probably a good thing for me to track. 

I've also been thinking about asking my doctor to give me a requisition for Day 3 bloodwork.  He knows nothing, but I know a lot.  So I can interpret my own results and decide what to do.  If my FSH has gone even higher, I'll probably want to start trying to get pregnant earlier.  Earlier than what?  I don't know, because I seriously have no plans in that area.

I'm feeling kind of blaaah about this.  I have liked not paying attention to these things.  But Noah's 12.5 months old, and we're infertile, and I don't want to have my children 5 years apart, so I feel like I should at least be slowly shifting my focus in that direction.

Plus, every once in awhile I get an "Awwww" nostalgic feeling about being pregnant or having a newborn.  It's really such a magical time.

Then I remember 24/7 morning sickness, being on crutches for the last 2 months of my pregnancy, and how I was only getting 2 hours of sleep in every 24 hour period leading up to and after Noah's birth.  For months.  And I realize that I already HAVE a baby, who will make having another baby more complicated than it was the first time around.

And the nostalgic feeling starts to fade... ha.

This CANNOT Be Happening!

Yeah, I know, third post in one day.  This one is important.

I JUST GOT MY PERIOD.

I am so FREAKING pissed off. 

I nurse more than 10 times a day.  Noah's nutrition is still 90% (OR MORE) from breastfeeding.  I still nurse OVERNIGHT.

I am really ticked.

I don't remember if I mentioned how 2 weeks ago I had REALLY sore nipples.  Horribly sore.  I was dreading every nursing session.  It came on really suddenly, lasted about 5 days, and then went away really suddenly.  I also had a lot of egg-white CM during that time.  I was just saying to Erin today that it seemed like my body was trying to ovulate.

Then tonight I've been soooo cranky, and really crampy. I told Justin it felt like period cramps. Just now we were in the kitchen, and he was trying to be nice to me because I've been so ticked off all evening. Then I told him I had to go to the bathroom because it felt like I was bleeding.

AND THEN I WAS BLEEDING.
 
I'm really pissed off. I nurse 10+ times a day. I nurse overnight. And I don't WANT to have another baby right now. I don't have that burning desire in me right now. So what's the point of the stupid period?!?!?!

I DON'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN RIGHT NOW! I HAVE CRAMPS AND I FEEL LIKE CRAP.
 
 
I'm really ticked off.


(Noah is 11 months, 2 weeks, and 3 days old)