Spotting is Scary When You're Pregnant

Spotting is scary when you're pregnant.  I can't imagine how I would be feeling if I didn't have a doppler to make sure the little one's heart is still ticking away.

Last Friday I went to the bathroom and found some brown spotting.  I check the heartbeat almost everyday, so it didn't make my heart drop into my feet.  It only made it as far as my stomach.  Then I reminded myself that a) I just heard the heartbeat the day before, and b) The doctor told me after my 7 week ultrasound that I had an "implantation bleed" and would most likely experience some spotting at some point as a result of that.

I remained calm (well, not totally calm), continued to play downstairs with Noah, but as soon as we went upstairs I checked for the heartbeat.  Who wouldn't?

Then last night (early early Tuesday morning).  On one of my 6 bathroom trips I looked at my underwear and saw quite a bit of brown.  My heart started racing, which is not good for falling back to sleep at 3am.  I reminded myself that I just listened to the heartbeat on Monday afternoon, and the doctor said this would happen.  So relax, self.  I had to go to the bathroom two more times after that, and that sight definitely made me uneasy each time, so at around 6:45 I decided to turn on the light and use the doppler again.  Everything is good, heartbeat is super strong and easy to find, so that is reassuring.

But man, spotting is scary.  If I didn't have a doppler I would be driving to my RE as soon as humanly possible to check on the little Bambino.  I'd be convinced of all things gloom and doom.

Just an extra reason to convince me that spending $185 was worth it.  Not that I needed more reasons.

I can't lie, though, I still have a slight feeling of anxiety, and I'm definitely looking forward to my ultrasound this coming Monday!

Dopplers Are the Best Invention Ever

At least they are for a paranoid pregnant person like me!

It seems to be getting easier and easier to find the heartbeat.  The first two times I found it (8 weeks 2 days and 8 weeks 6 days) it took about 10 minutes of slowly searching, frequently adding more gel to my belly.  The past two times (9 weeks 1 day and today, 9 weeks 3 days) I found it within 1 minute of trying.

I've found that it is much easier to find when I can easily feel my uterus.  My uterus seems to tilt back and forth, so sometimes I can feel it right up front (and up to about an inch under my bellybutton), and other times I can't really feel it at all.  When it's tilted backwards and further away from my skin, I have a much harder time finding the heartbeat.

It's really really nice to be able to have the reassurance of hearing that little heartbeat ticking away.  I'm really really glad I bought (and not rented) this doppler.  Seriously, it is probably the best decision I have made so far this pregnancy.  Without it, I would have already travelled to the RE for at least one reassurance ultrasound.  And even with that reassurance ultrasound, by now I'd probably be feeling that dread of not knowing for sure that everything is okay.

I don't know for sure why I am like this when I am pregnant, but it seriously has been amazing to just feel confident that things are fine. The easier it gets to find the heartbeat, the easier it is for me to take a day off from looking for it.  And when I do look for it, I feel confident that I will find it.  And if I can't (when my uterus is tilted backward), I really don't freak out.  I know it's only been a couple of days since I last heard it, and the chances of there being something that went wrong in just those couple of days feels very slim to me.  So I don't panic and think that something is wrong.  I just try again later in the day or the next day, when I can feel my uterus tilted forward.

The doppler has brought me so much peace of mind.  I really wish I had bought one during my pregnancy with Noah.  I would have felt a lot more relaxed!

Telling the Inlaws

As I mentioned last week, I was thinking we needed to finally tell my inlaws that I'm pregnant since my FIL was leaving for Florida and wouldn't be back until the very end of March.  And because my belly looks like this:

On Saturday we went there for dinner.  As I had planned before we were even pregnant, Noah wore a Big Brother t-shirt.  We showed up, and let Noah loose.  My MIL usually pays a great deal of attention to what Noah is wearing, especially if she hasn't seen it before, so it didn't take long for her to read his shirt, which said "Most Awesome Big Brother."  She said, "What does THAT mean?" like she honestly didn't get it.  She looked at Justin and I, and we just had these big smiles on our faces.  I don't know what happened exactly, but Justin said something and she got it.

After hugging us and asking me how far along I was, she immediately started talking about cooking dinner.  I was like "Uhh, is that it?  Are we going to talk any more about this?"  But I guess that was just her weird way of processing things.  We did end up talking about it a lot more, and she got the whole story.

I was dreading telling them because they often don't respond very well to good news, but after the initial mother-in-law awkwardness (par for the course, with her), it was lots of fun.  I am satisfied with their reactions.  Haha.

Moving along to other things...

I found the heartbeat again today (8 weeks 6 days)!!  I haven't been able to find it since I found it Friday night, but I did today!  It was right around 176 again.  Man this little one has a fast heartbeat.  The highest Noah's ever was measured at was 164, and that was during my 12 week ultrasound when he was flipping all over my uterus.  The rest of the time he was usually around 145.

I'm so happy I found it again:)  It makes me feel so much better.  I get paranoid so easily.  I recorded it on my iPod this time, so I can listen to it again and remind myself I'm not crazy and I really did hear it.

Also, we bought another crib!  I have every intention of keeping Noah in his crib as long as possible.  I would even like to keep him in it until he's 3.  He just doesn't love sleep the way some other kids do, and having him not contained in his crib would mean A LOT less sleep for both me and him.  So I needed another crib.  The new one is really nice.  It's a white sleigh bed convertible crib.  We bought it second hand, of course.  I am really happy with it.  I set it up in the new baby's room today, and even have bedding in it.  It makes me happy to see it in there.

Alright, I should start getting dinner ready.  It really feels like a Friday to me.

I Found It!!!

I found the baby's heartbeat!!!  It took me at least 15 minutes, but then I found it!  100%, no question, it's the baby!!!  I am sooooo happy!  Seriously, I can't wipe the grin off my face!

It was so hard to find.  Justin kept saying, "Nevermind, let's just drive to the doctor tomorrow."  It was way past our bedtime, but I just had to keep trying.  I'm stubborn like that.  I really had to get the wand in the exact right position, but I found it several times after that first time, floating around between 160 and 170.

We don't have to spend tomorrow travelling anymore!!!

Seriously, I am ridiculously happy.  I'll probably be sleeping with a smile on my face tonight.

For the record, I'm 8 weeks 2 days today.  And I found the heartbeat, after 3 long days of trying.  :)

And also - thank you to all of you for your support.  Really, your comments do make me feel better.  I was feeling a lot more calm and confident tonight after reading a few of your comments, even before I found the heartbeat.