The Birth Story of River Shiloh Rain
I'm posting this six weeks late... after not posting anything for the majority of my pregnancy!
My "due date" was June 26/27 (it depended on if you considered the day I ovulated as day 1 of pregnancy or not). June 26 came and went. Starting at 39 weeks I had been trying all kinds of "natural" induction methods. Chiropractic, acupuncture, acupressure, clary sage oil... I had been drinking tons of red raspberry leaf tea and eating six dates a day for many many weeks. I had a stretch and sweep done at 39+1, and all day I felt like I was in early labour, but by evening things petered out. My stretch and sweep at 37+1 with Isaiah put me immediately into labour, so the failure of this sweep and everything else made me feel like I would NEVER have my baby (I know, so ridiculously dramatic).
On June 27 at 8:30pm I was super tired and tried to go to sleep as soon as Isaiah was asleep. Unfortunately, the baby was acting like Edward Scissor Hands inside of me. It literally felt like he was stabbing and scraping me with knives, and it HURT. I couldn't fall asleep, and I missed my "window" of tiredness. I laid there for the next several hours trying to fall asleep.
At 11:30 I realized I was having painful contractions, and they seemed regular. I didn't know how long it had been happening for. This sometimes happens to me, so I wasn't very suspicious. I got up and went to the bathroom. When I went back to bed I paid more attention to my contractions by looking at the time on my phone every time one started and ended. They seemed to be about a minute long, coming every 5-6 minutes.
At 12:20 I decided to download a contraction timer app so that I could more accurately time my contractions. This confirmed their regularity. At 12:45 I just couldn't stay in bed anymore. I still didn't necessarily think I was in real labour, but I was in too much pain to keep lying there. I got up, tidied up some things that I was too cranky and pregnant to put away before bed, put some laundry in the washing machine, etc. As soon as I got out of bed my contractions started coming every 2-3 minutes, but they shortened to about 45 seconds long. They were strong, and I couldn't do anything but lean over something when I was having them.
For a little bit I still thought things were going to peter out (I was in labour with Isaiah for 52 hours, so I had past experience with this). But I had checked my cervix several times since 11:30, and things were changing FAST. I had been 2-3 cm dilated for weeks, but I wasn't very effaced. When I checked at 11:30 I was maybe a little more effaced, but still had a bunch of length left. However, by 1:30 I was fully effaced and maybe more dilated. It was hard to reach to measure that accurately, but I could tell my cervix was moving from posterior to anterior.
At 1:30am I realized the contractions weren't going away, I was going to have this baby! I went in to wake up Justin. He was sleeping with Noah, so I touched his leg and he immediately opened up his eyes. I whispered "I'm in labour." He said "Are you serious?" I said, "I need you to get out of bed."
He got out of bed and immediately started topping up the birth pool with air (it had been sitting blown up in our living room for over three weeks, and I had asked him to top it up earlier but it never got done). Then he started filling it with water.
I was calmly labouring in the kitchen (which is open concept with the living room) and things were strong. At about 1:45 I decided I should call my midwife. I hadn't up until then because it was the middle of the night and I felt bad, thinking I didn't want to wake everyone up if I wasn't going to have a baby until like 6am. But things were fast and intense, so I figured I should get the show on the road, so to speak. My midwife was staying an hour away with her daughter who had just had a baby, so I thought she should probably get on the road, or send the other midwives in her place.
So I call Cynthia, and she says she'll leave right away and call me from the car when she's on her way. About 15 minutes later she calls, and by then my contractions are every 1:30-2:00 minutes apart and lasting about 35-45 seconds. I can't really talk, and she says she'll send Lindsay right away (a midwife I'd never met, but she was on call that night so she was the "second" midwife for my birth).
By 2:30 my contractions were every 1:30 minutes and lasting about a minute, so I was only getting about 30 seconds break between them. The pool still wasn't filled up, but I just HAD to get in. I kept remembering how amazing the water was for my contractions when I was in labour with Isaiah, and I needed that relief. So I got in. And the water didn't really ease the pain. I kept trying different positions, but I couldn't get comfortable or find relief. The only relief was that I got a slightly longer break between contractions. Not much, but enough that I noticed and it was very welcome.
Shortly after getting in the pool (at 2:30) I started to feel pushy. My body was just slightly bearing down with each contraction. Justin was still running around getting our birth supplies, and eventually I asked him to rub my shoulders. He did for about 3 contractions, I think.
Suddenly, at 3am, I had a big contraction and my body pushed like CRAZY. I put my hand down there and felt myself swelling and expanding outward, just like when I pushed with Isaiah. The contraction ended and I calmly said, "He's coming now." There were no midwives at our house yet. After I spoke Justin stood up and I felt this shift in energy in the room, so I said, "Don't freak out." Again, I was very calm.
I checked myself, and I still wasn't fully dilated. I felt quite a bit of cervix still overlapping his head. I basically did a big mental shrug, because my body was pushing and there was nothing I could do about it. It never occurred to me to be alarmed, or be worried that we were alone. I was just like, "Alright self, let's DO THIS."
I got on my knees with one arm on the side of the pool and the other hand down below. With the next contraction his head started coming out. I felt his water sac break on my hand and then his head POPPED out. Really suddenly, like an explosion. I feel like Justin wasn't even in the room, and might have been unlocking the front door. I calmly called, "His head is out!" I knelt there waiting for the next contraction, which came quickly and his body slipped right out.
I picked him up out of the water and brought him to my chest. It was AMAZING. He cried, we snuggled, and then Lindsay (second midwife) walked in the room. She was great. Totally hands off. She just knelt beside the pool and said things like, "He looks great, nice and pink, what a good cry, way to go!"
I was so focused on his beautiful face and flying as high as a kite, so I'm not sure exactly when Cynthia arrived. I think it was about 15-20 minutes later. She later told me (and the other midwives in the office) that it was one of the most beautiful images she'd ever seen, walking into the room, me in the pool looking like a "goddess" holding my baby with our big fireplace behind us. She was so disappointed to have missed the birth, but happy for me that I got to do it all myself. She knew I had wanted a hands off birth.
They were seriously awesome. When I had Isaiah I got rushed out of the pool within a couple of minutes. With River they just left me alone. I probably stayed in there for 45 minutes just bonding with him, and when my cramps became too much to bear I decided to get out to make it easier to deliver the placenta (I declined the "active management" shot of pitocin that speeds the process up). I held River while everyone helped me out of the pool and onto the couch. I was shaking like a leaf from the adrenaline. Shortly after that I delivered the placenta. We decided to not cut the cord yet and keep River attached until we did the newborn exam, so that we could get a picture of him attached to his placenta.
At this point Cynthia and Lindsay went to the other room for awhile to do paperwork and leave us alone. They said to call us if we needed them, but they'd give us our privacy for now. We nursed and cuddled for maybe an hour, and then I really had to go pee so I called them in to help me and to finally do the newborn exam.
River was 8lbs 9oz, and apparently he was 20.5 inches long (but by 9 days old he was 21.5 inches, and by 2 weeks he was 22 inches, so I think the original measurement was inaccurate). His head was 14 inches around (15 inches at 2 weeks). Just like my other kids his head had no molding, because none of them spent any real time in the birth canal. They all just shot out suddenly at the end.
The midwives were gone by about 6:15am (Cynthia came back that afternoon around 3, since River was born in the middle of the night and no one would be around when he was 24 hours old). At 6:30 I went to my room to go pee (since that's where my pads were) and Isaiah woke up while I was in there. I said "Isaiah! I had the baby last night!" He said "No, you're kidding." And I said "No, I did! Look, my tummy is smaller!" And he said "This is so EXCITING!!" We went and he met his baby brother. He was absolutely enthralled.
Noah didn't wake up until closer to 8, and he was also totally captivated. My parents offered to take them to go somewhere that afternoon and neither of them wanted to leave because they wanted to "be with the baby."
This was honestly the most amazing, empowering, peaceful birth. I never intended to have an unassisted birth, but I'm so glad it turned out that way. I never had to do anything I didn't want to do. No one was suggesting I move to a different position, or get a cervical check, or have the heart rate monitored. I just laboured the way I wanted, doing what I wanted to do and what I felt led to do. Justin is still amazed at how it all went, how I didn't make a big deal about any of it, I just got down to business, all calm and in control, and had a baby. There was never any concern or panic or fear, just peace.
I do recall that I kept thinking, "F*ck, this hurts. Labour SUCKS." But that was literally it. I never felt like I couldn't do it, or that it was too much for me to handle, even when contractions were right on top of each other. I did say "I'm not getting a BREAK!!" And I remember being annoyed that the water wasn't helping my pain. I also remember briefly wishing I had an experienced woman there to talk soothingly to me and say things like "You're doing great, Lauren, your baby is almost here." I knew I was fine and doing great, I just wanted that sort of female, maternal presence. But about three minutes after that thought went through my mind, River was earthside.
At birth River weighed 8lbs 9oz, 20.5 inches long (maybe), 14 inch head.
At 3 days old River weighed 8lbs 5oz.
At 5 days old he was back to birth weight, 8lbs 9oz.
At 2 weeks old he weighed 9lbs 11oz and was 22 inches long with a 15 inch head.
At 3 weeks 2 days he was 10.8lbs and 23 inches long.
At 4 weeks old he weighed 11.4lbs.
At 1 month (4 weeks 2 days) he weighed 11.8lbs.
At 5 weeks and 2 days old he weighed 12.2lbs, 23.5 inches
At 6 weeks he weighed 12lbs 7oz and was 24 inches long.
Side note (not meant to overshadow the beautiful birth story):
Despite an overall great pregnancy (mindset wise) and the best possible birth experience, and being born at 40 weeks, River is INCREDIBLY colicky. He started screaming inconsolably at 16 hours old and has only gotten worse since then. The past six weeks have felt like 3 months. Life has been really difficult. Hence why it took six weeks to get this post up. And why there are no pictures. I'm posting this from my iPad while I bounce on an exercise ball with River in a wrap. He's sleeping, thank goodness. He spends a LOT of time screaming.
Maybe I'll write more on that another time.
