I Went

I went to the doctor's appointment yesterday.  Admittedly, the driving was pretty crazy, but I decided I just couldn't wait to try and get a prescription for Isaiah.  Listening to him scream is too hard when I'm thinking it's from real pain.  If he really is in pain from reflux, I wanted to be able to deal with it.

My doctor is convinced that reflux doesn't hurt babies, and that the prescription will do nothing.  I didn't argue, even though I think that's bull.  I was just glad he gave me the prescription at all.  I know most babies aren't bothered by reflux - Noah spit up like CRAZY as a baby.  He would puke at least 30 times a day, often very explosively, like a volcano.  But he was never bothered by it.  Isaiah, on the other hand, always swallows his puke.  If he let it out he would probably be throwing up 30 times a day as well, but he almost always swallows it back down.  And he does seem very bothered by it.  Plus there's the writhing, back-arching, fussiness and squirming while nursing (I realize that is often from my fast letdown, but other times it doesn't seem to be at all), crying immediately after nursing (when there's no way he's hungry), sometimes screaming, excessive grunting, poor sleep, etc etc.  He certainly seems to fit the profile of a baby who is bothered by acid reflux.  And if he isn't, oh well.  Spending a short period of time on medication isn't going to hurt him.

The meds weren't available from the pharmacy until 7pm because they had to compound them.  Therefore, I wasn't able to give them to him until way after his crying period began.  Today I'll give them to him in the afternoon and see how that works.

He wouldn't go to sleep until 10pm last night.  However, he had an excellent sleep after that!  He had 3 stretches of 3 to 3.5 hours of sleep!  I only had to get up with him TWICE!  That has never ever happened.  He never even sleeps a 3 hour stretch.  He was also very quiet compared to how he usually is.  I didn't hear him grunting and groaning more than a couple of times.

Of course, I didn't get nearly as much sleep as he did, but I did get at least 5 hours, so I am happy with that.

I don't know if it was the reflux medication, or the fact that he was sleeping on his tummy with the head of the mattress elevated for the second night in a row.  I also burped him for a lot longer than I normally do - up to 20 minutes each time (I usually stuck with 8-10 minutes before), which kept him upright longer than normal.  The first night I put him on his tummy he slept quieter and for slightly longer stretches (about 2 to 2.5 hours), so maybe it's a combination.  Or maybe it was a coincidence.  Or a fluke.  I guess we'll find out when we see how his nights go in the near future.

I hate that he's sleeping on his tummy, and it totally stresses me out.   I admit, I am often peering closely at the video monitor to detect his breathing.   But he really is a lot more comfortable that way, and the baby needs his sleep.


Alright, I'm off to get some more stuff done before Isaiah wakes up from his nap.  I will leave you with this picture:

Yesterday Isaiah was crying as I was carrying him around in the Sleepy Wrap (honestly I think I wear him at least 3 hours every day).  I put this hat on him, just to show Justin how cute it was, and after protesting loudly for about 20 seconds, he totally went into a trance.  It was hilarious.  One of those moments where you're like "Were you seriously just screaming because your head was cold, or was that a coincidence?"

(For the record, Isaiah is 5.5 weeks old right now)

What to Do...

We've been hammered by Sandy since yesterday evening.  Our particular city has received the worst weather in our entire province.  Wind is blowing at 100km per hour.  I know our house has lost siding and shingles, but I can't tell the extent of the damage because there's no way I'm going outside at this point.  Some people have lost whole sections of their fences, trees have been uprooted, a woman was killed by a flying street sign... it's crazy out there.

Now here's the thing... I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for today.  It's been scheduled for the last month as a follow up for my sleep medications.  I don't really need the appointment, and rescheduling would be fine for me.  BUT, as of yesterday I was intending to piggy back Isaiah on the appointment to talk about attempting some reflux medications for him.

Last night was awful.  Not the overnight part, but the 2 hours leading up to it.  Isaiah woke up from a nap and for 10 minutes he was perfectly content and happy.  Then I nursed him, because he was hungry, and after nursing for a couple of minutes he was MISERABLE.  He started screaming and writhing.  It was awful.  I hated it even more than usual because I was thinking about how he might actually be in pain, and not just crying inexplicably.  Yesterday I realized that this is ALWAYS what happens... partway through nursing he starts to get upset and acts like he's in pain, and in the evenings it's the worst.

So, that was rough.  However, overnight went okay.  We raised the head of his crib mattress, took him out of the swaddle, and put him to sleep on his tummy all night.  He did much better than he's been doing lying on his back swaddled.  I got up with him 5 times (4 times to nurse, once to get a burp out and soothe), but he was less scream-grunty than he has been.  I got 4 or 5 hours of sleep, which I am happy with.

Now, the question is whether to keep the doctor's appointment or not.  I really don't want to go out in this weather, and I'm actually concerned about the safety of driving on country roads for 25 minutes to get there.  But I would really like to talk to my doctor about Isaiah's possible reflux.  It kills me to think he's in actual pain from acid reflux, and not just uncomfortable from gas.

Like I said last night, my doctor is the opposite of a pill pusher.  If he doesn't give me reflux meds to try on Isaiah, I'm finding someone who will.  I'll go see a pediatrician, or go to a walk in clinic, or ask my midwife who else I could get a prescription from.  I mean, maybe he doesn't have reflux.  But if the meds don't work, they don't work.  At least we tried instead of letting him suffer!

Burning Out

I am not having a good day.  Last night I didn't get a minute of sleep.  Isaiah's sleep has been going downhill instead of getting better, which I was expecting it to do since he is over 5 weeks old now.  Instead, he either sleeps for really short periods of time, or he's super super super grunty and I can't sleep at all.  His grunts are so loud on those nights that even if I turn the monitor off, I can still hear him from across the hall even though I have a loud fan on right next to my head.  His grunts are LOUDER than his cries.  So how am I supposed to sleep?  Seriously?

Last night I had him in bed with me for all but one stretch of his sleep.  If he is in bed with me he will go 2.5-3 hours between nursings.  If he's not, he'll be up crying like 10 times.  But when he's in bed with me I can't sleep.  However, last night he was so loud that I couldn't sleep with him in his own room anyway.  So in bed with me he stayed.  So, yeah, NO sleep for me.

And seriously, not only is Isaiah an insanely, incredibly loud sleeper, but after 12pm, if he is awake, he is MISERABLE.  I hoped it would start getting better, but it's only getting worse.  I'm starting to wonder if there is something actually wrong with him, something he won't be growing out of soon.  Like reflux.  He arches his back and cries like he's in pain, especially right after nursing, plus a whole bunch of other things that are symptoms of reflux.  Unfortunately my doctor is the opposite of a pill pusher, so getting reflux meds from him to try might be really really difficult.

On top of all that, Noah is being a whiny pain in the butt today, which is really bad timing considering I have no patience from the no sleep thing.

I feel burnt out.  I need a good night's sleep.  I need someone to sit with Isaiah and put their hand on his tummy or head anytime he sounds fussy, and only bring him to me when he really needs to eat.  I need the fan on high, my door shut, and I need to not have the monitor on.  Justin can't do this because he can sleep right through Isaiah screaming his head off, so I'd never be able to fall asleep because of wondering if Isaiah is awake and crying or not.

If tonight goes like last night, I might actually see if my mom or mother in law are willing to do this for me. At least so I can get 4 or 5 hours of sleep.

Who am I kidding?  I don't think I'd ever actually ask them to do that.

Isaiah is One Month Old!

Isaiah was 1 month on October 22.  I wanted to write an extended post like I did with Noah, but with 2 kids, one of whom doesn't nap, and the fact that I have to go to bed as soon as Isaiah goes to bed, I really don't have time for an extended post.  Here's an update on my littlest man:

-He got weighed at the midwife's on October 22, his one month birthday, and he was 10lbs 9oz (naked).  He gained 3.5lbs in 3 weeks.  Hopefully he'll slow down a bit this coming month!  It's crazy to me that some people give birth to babies that are his current size.

-He is now 22 inches long (he grew 2 inches).

-His head circumference is close to 15 inches now.

-Isaiah is exclusively breastfed, of course.  Just from the right side so far, (Noah has the left side, because the letdown on the side is crazy).  No bottles, and I don't expect him to ever have one.

-He's still super grunty, groany, moany, and shrieky, but I may be seeing slight improvements in that area.

-To attack the gruntyness (I know that's not a word), Isaiah is seeing the chiropractor, now on a weekly basis instead of every few days, and I bombard him with homeopathic colic remedies.  He doesn't have actual "colic" (crying 3 hours a day, 3 days a week, for at least 3 weeks), but his gruntyness stems from gas and all those remedies are geared toward gas.  I think I see some improvements when I give them to him.

-He takes the "witching hour" very seriously.  Well, witching "hours".  From about 4pm (or whenever he wakes up from his last nap) until he goes to bed sometime after 8.  He won't go down for another nap after that, although he does have short 10 minute snoozes in our arms.  Thankfully he is quite content if he is being held and walked around, so we don't have to listen to screaming as long as we're doing that.  We're doing quick and easy suppers and either take turns eating or I wear Isaiah in the Ergo and eat my dinner off of the kitchen island while bouncing around between bites.  This is a tiring phase, but thankfully we know from experience that "this too shall pass," and that makes it a lot easier to deal with.

-I do a LOT of babywearing with Isaiah - more than with Noah.  This is out of necessity, seeing as I have a toddler to take care of as well.  But Isaiah loves it.  I find he is more content on the days that I wear him a lot, not just when he's being worn but also when he's not being worn.  He's more chill.

-He is hit and miss for naps.  He'll have a couple of good ones if I hold him for long enough after he falls asleep.  He will NOT go to sleep on his own anymore.  That was done back at 2 weeks old.  I do allow him to fuss to see if he'll fall asleep on his own, but the fussing always turns to crying and I am not going to let a newborn cry it out.

-Things change on a bi-weekly basis, but lately during the day Isaiah takes most of his naps on his tummy in the bassinet of the pack and play in our living room.  He used to take them swaddled in his crib, but that stopped working out so well.

-Night time is frustrating.  It's hard to get him down for the night.  He either doesn't fall asleep for hours, or he does fall asleep but wakes up within 5-20 minutes of us putting him down.  And he doesn't just fuss, he CRIES.  Last night we had to put him back to sleep about 10 times.

-Once he's "down for the night" he generally sleeps for 2 to 2.5 hours, sometimes reaching 3 hours, but never longer than that.  Last night he had two "stretches" of sleep that were only 1.5 hours.  Boo.  He normally sleeps for at least 2 hours though, so I'm hoping those super short stretches were just flukes.  I am waking up to nurse him either 3 or 4 times each night.  3 times doesn't bother me.  4 kind of does.

-(Sometimes I wonder if God gives me crappy nights like last night just to make me appreciate the other nights more, since it's fairly easy to wish your child would sleep longer than 2 or 3 hours at a time.  However, 2-3 hours feels pretty good compared to 1.5 hours!)

-He's had 2 haircuts already.  His hair is quite light, like a light light brown or dark dark blonde.

-His blue eyes are lightening, so I'm pretty sure they'll stay blue.

-His skin tone is darker than Noah's was at this age, so he might have his Daddy's dark Italian skin.

-He loves when I wrap him in a towel and hold his head over the sink to wash his face and hair.  He closes his eyes and looks so content.

-He gets all his baths in the kitchen sink.  Whether he enjoys it or not depends on the day.

-I wash his face and hair everyday, but actual baths only happen a couple of times a week.

-Isaiah started smiling on his one month birthday.  We only get a few smiles per day at this point, but we'll take them:)

-He is mostly wearing one-size diapers now, on the smallest settings.  He doesn't wear the Kissaluvs fitteds anymore because he pees right through them.  Anything from the bumGenius family (4.0, Elemental, Freetime, and Flip) fit him nicely back at 8lbs.  Thankfully I have a big stash of these, because none of the Kawaii pockets fit him, even the Pure and Naturals, which are supposed to fit from 6-22lbs.  They're way too big around the waist.

-Isaiah absolutely hated diaper changes for the first couple of weeks and would scream the whole time.  He's chilled out in this area now, thankfully!

-He has a very strong trunk and neck, and holds his head up very well.  He's also pushing off things with his legs now.

-Both of Isaiah's testicles were undescended when he was born, which stressed Justin and I out majorly (the cause of Justin's infertility is an undescended testicle that wasn't corrected until he was 5).  However, they both descended by the time he was 2 weeks old.  HUGE RELIEF!  It must have just been because he was 18 days early.


I just realized I've been really bad at taking pictures lately.  I think it's because Isaiah is at the stage where if you put him down he is not happy.  That doesn't give a lot of opportunity to take pictures!  These are the ones taken within the past few days:

Cuddling with Daddy:

Tummy nap!:

Okay, that wasn't as bad - by bad I mean short - as I thought it would be.  Now I'm off to feed myself and Noah before Isaiah wakes up, which could be any minute now.

What Life Has Been Like

Isaiah is 4 weeks old today, and I really haven't posted anything about what our life has been like.  For my own benefit, I'd like to recap what the past 4 weeks were like.

When Isaiah hit 3 days old, the baby blues hit me in full force.  This was the exact same day they hit me after I had Noah.  My version of the baby blues involves a lot of anxiety.  Not over any specific thing, but a general feeling of anxiety.  I would be fine in the mornings, but by mid-afternoon I'd be feeling really anxious.  I think a lot of it stemmed from not knowing what to expect overnight.  I never knew what my night with Isaiah would look like, where he would sleep, whether he would sleep, etc.  Plus, Justin becomes a complete zombie after he falls asleep at night, so even if he seems like he's awake and with me, he's really not.  He remembers none of it in the morning.  I find that really creepy and disturbing.  So that didn't help things.

Obviously childbirth, even completely natural in-your-living-room childbirth, requires recuperation.  But it drove me crazy that I couldn't go do the fun things Justin and Noah would get to do.  I hated when they left the house to ride bikes, go to the park, or go on an "adventure" (this is what Noah calls it when they go over to the construction sites and play in the dirt).  I didn't feel "obligated" to stay behind with Isaiah.  I loved to take care of him.  I just wished I was up for going out with the rest of my family.  Physically up for it, that is.

Justin only had 2 days off of work, so he was home for the Monday and Tuesday after Isaiah was born.  On Wednesday he went to work and my Mom came over.  She came over really early, because that Wednesday I had to go to an 8:15am doctors appointment to get some medication for my insomnia (which works, by the way).  I took Isaiah with me, of course, and I had to laugh at the difference between my first outing with Noah and my first outing with Isaiah.  With Noah it was a huge deal.  I had to have my Dad drive the 25 minutes to my house, and then drive my van to Noah's doctor's appointment so that I could sit in the back with Noah.  Ridiculous, right?  With Isaiah it was nothing.  He wasn't even quite 4 days old but I barely thought twice.  It was actually a lot easier to take him out at that point that it is to take 2 year old Noah out.

The Thursday following Isaiah's birth was my first day alone with my boys, and it went well.  There is really nothing to report.  A lot busier than with just one child, but it went smoothly.  However, by the time Justin came my anxiety was building.  I really hate that feeling.

That Sunday we tried going to my parents' house for dinner.  The hope was that I would feel more normal, less cooped up, and my anxiety wouldn't be so bad.  Unfortunately, it didn't work.  I was as anxious as every other day, and I could barely eat dinner.  I totally ended up in tears, too.  Over nothing.

I believe it was that Thursday, when Isaiah was 10 days old, that I started feeling better.  My anxiety started lessening a little more each day.  A large part of my baby blues was feeling like I wasn't living my own life.  I had a new baby, who I loved like crazy, but he was still new.  He was a new addition to our family, and my life didn't feel like my own.  I just really wanted my life to feel like my life.  That Tuesday was the turning point.  Each day after that I was feeling better, and by the time Isaiah was 2 weeks old I felt like a normal person again.

I have to say, my midwife was amazing throughout all of this.  She wanted to do anything she could to make me feel better.  At my final home visit with her she sat on my bed with me for a lot longer than normal, just chatting about everything that I was feeling anxious about.  She called me that Saturday, just because talking to her always made me feel better.  And she had me book extra appointments so I could talk everything out.  Looking back and realizing that the worst of the baby blues only lasted a week seems crazy to me, because it felt like a month.  I'm thankful they're over now, and I'm very thankful for the support of my midwife.  For some reason talking to her made me feel so much better - something I couldn't achieve when talking to Justin or my Mom.

Anyway, back to our new life.  I've basically been totally on my own with the boys all day long since Isaiah was 4.5 days old.  This was okay with me, because I missed spending time with Noah and I really did want to start feeling like my new life was my normal life.  Almost every day has gone well, but like anybody I've had a couple of rough days.

What I don't like is anticipating each morning.  I never know what my early mornings are going to be like!  Isaiah is no longer content to sit in his bouncy chair while I shower, so I have to shower when he's sleeping.  Unfortunately, he usually has a long awake period in the morning (although I never know what hours he will be awake), so I have to shower before Justin leaves for work at 7:40 (he's been leaving late for my benefit).  I also have to nurse Noah at some point early on in the morning because my left boob is exploding, but it has to be either when Justin is still home (if Isaiah is awake, since he is no longer okay with not being held), or while Isaiah is still sleeping.  So, between having to shower and nurse both children (Isaiah is usually up to nurse sometime in the 5:45-7:15am range) and then get some breakfast for myself and Noah and get a load of laundry in the washing machine, I feel like early mornings are a little bit stressful because of the balancing act.  Once I've accomplished all of those things, or at least had a shower and gotten Noah and Isaiah nursed, I feel fine.  But until then, I'm kind of a huge grump.

Night time... well, as I'm sure you can imagine, this is constantly changing.  For awhile he was sleeping in the pack and play bassinet beside my bed.  Most of that time he was sleeping in his bouncy chair within the bassinet, because he just didn't seem to want to sleep lying down.  However, now Isaiah is in his own room, where he's been since before he was 2 weeks old because of his grunting.  And to be honest, we are doing everything "wrong".  We have a pillow in the crib, which we use to prop him up on his side.  We also have a thick blanket folded that we prop his head on like a pillow, because even though he is on his side, he is swaddled and his head would flop down uncomfortably otherwise.  And occasionally I have even put him on his tummy when he has been very grunty (which he always is, but sometimes it gets even worse) and seemed extremely uncomfortable.  See?  We're doing everything wrong.

I go to bed as soon as Isaiah goes to bed, so many nights I am in bed by 8:30pm.  However, this time is not predictable because right now -and for the past couple of weeks - Isaiah is very hard to put to sleep for the night (and for naps).  Nights are easier now that I have the video monitor, but I do spend a LOT of time awake listening to his loud grunting and moaning.  For awhile I was waking up to nurse Isaiah 3 times, besides his nursing right before bed and his morning nursing after which I don't go back to sleep.  When he was 2 weeks old I was saying how awesome it would be if I could just get up 2 times.  I immediately regretted saying that out loud, because that night and every night for the week following that he took it upon himself to wake up to nurse 4 times each night (besides the nursings before bed and in the morning).  That was tiring.

Since we got the video monitor, though, he has been sleeping a little bit longer.  I think this might be because I can watch his face when he's making noise and see whether he's really awake or not.  He has slept for 3 hours a few times, and usually hits the 2 to 2.5 hour mark.  Unfortunately, he is extremely noisy for the 45 minutes before he's really awake, and often for awhile after I put him back down again, so it's not like I'm sleeping for that full amount of time.  But I'm hoping that as his belly gets used to nursing every 3 hours, that amount of time will lengthen and he won't be so noisy for so long before he eats.

Isaiah is exclusively cloth diapered.  I haven't been able to find anything that will last him right through the night, though.  He's about 10lbs now (according to our digital scale, which is pretty accurate but doesn't show ounces, just increments of 0.2lbs), but anything that's absorbent enough to last him overnight is way too bulky on him.  Like, the diaper reaches his knees and he can't even move his legs.  It's ridiculous.  I'm down to changing him just once at night, though.  I hate changing diapers at night for some reason, so I can't wait until I can cut out a diaper change all together.  I'm not opposed to using a disposable to make this happen, if necessary - I hate night time diaper changes that much - but at this point he'd leak right out of a disposable, too.  For now I put him in a Sustainablebabyish Snapless fitted (with both doublers) and a Blueberry cover.  Then, at this third wakeup/nursing, I change him into a bumGenius 4.0 double stuffed with their regular insert and a Thirsties hemp insert.  That combo actually lasts quite awhile, surprisingly.


As for the whole sibling-rivalry thing... it doesn't exist in our house.  Noah is IN LOVE with Isaiah.  His interactions with him are all extremely affectionate.  "I love you Isaiah!  Awe, he's so cute!  I'm your big brother, Isaiah!  Look at his nose!" (for some reason he's fascinated with Isaiah's nose).  There have only been a couple of times in the past 4 weeks where there was any hint of 'jealousy', if you can call it that.  One time Noah said, sadly, "I want to be Isaiah... I want to be a little baby..."  I believe this was at a point where I couldn't do something with him because I was nursing Isaiah.  It kind of broke my heart a little bit.  But really, Noah has adjusted seamlessly.  I'm very thankful for that!

Seriously, WHY does Blogger keep flipping my photos?

~~~~~

I'm sure there is a lot more I could say, but this post has been sitting here for half a week, and if I don't publish it now it's going to be horribly out of date.  Sorry if this post wasn't cohesive enough... it was written over several days and I don't feel like going back through it again to try and make it perfect.  It's not like I'm being graded!:)

I Think I Figured Out the Grunting

I am 95% positive that I know why Isaiah grunts so much (and, in retrospect, why Noah grunted so much).  I actually figured it out last week.

I believe it's a combination of a super fast letdown and oversupply.  These two things are connected, because an oversupply generally causes a fast letdown.

My fast letdown causes Isaiah to gulp a lot of air while he's nursing, creating a lot of gas.

The oversupply means he's taking in a lot of a foremilk.  Foremilk is high in lactose.  When a baby gets too much lactose in his stomach, it ferments and causes painful gas.

After researching it, this makes the most sense.  We fit almost every symptom, including crazy fast weight gain for the baby - Isaiah was 8lbs 12oz, completely naked, on his due date (18 days old... he was 7lbs exactly when he was born).  He was 7lbs 11oz at 12 days old.  That means he gained 17oz in 6 days.

Ummm, yeah.  Holy cow.

We're still seeing the chiropractor (had our fourth visit today), because while the spine issues aren't causing the stomach pain, the stomach pain is likely feeding back to the spine and causing issues there. The four spots on his spine that were out on his first visit keep being tight again on every visit, whereas every other issue he had has resolved.  However, that section of his spine is improving (I even noticed this prior to the visit), so we'll continue with weekly chiropractor visits for awhile.

Basically, there's not a lot I can do.  We both just need time.  My boobs need time to calm down, so they're not letting down quite so fast and so that they're producing milk on a supply/demand basis instead of a "HOORAY!  WE GET TO MAKE MILK AGAIN!!!  LET'S GET 'ER DONE!!" basis.  Isaiah needs time for his system to mature.  He needs time before he'll be able to handle a fast letdown (ironically, usually this tends to happen around the time that you're not letting down so quickly anymore).

What I am doing is reclining while feeding him, so my letdown isn't attacking him as ferociously and he isn't gulping quite so much air.  Block nursing is recommended in these situations, but I already feed him exclusively from my right side because my left side is almost twice as fast as my right side - 7 holes for the milk to come out of as opposed to 4.  (Noah nurses on my left side 3 times a day, which will maintain that side's ability to produce milk until Isaiah is ready to take that side).

I'm not sure if either of those things are really helping, but at least I'm trying.  I'm trying to remember when Noah grew out of the grunting, but I really don't remember.  I can't wait for it to be done.  Not only because it's so disturbing to my sleep, but because I feel bad that he's just so darn uncomfortable!

In the meantime, Isaiah is in his own room and we finally got a video monitor so that I don't have to get out of bed to see whether he's really awake or just being loud.  Last night was our first night with it and man, it sure made my life a lot easier.

Finally, because he's just so freaking cute, here's my little monkey at 3.5 weeks old:

Being burped, of course.

My Little Author

I love listening to Noah make up his own stories as he flips through books. They always start with an enthusiastic "Once upon a time..." and include the phrase "And then EVERYONE laughed!"

Today, after everyone laughed, something happened so that everyone cried.  Including someone's Mommy.

Thanksgiving Awkwardness

I live in Canada, so this past weekend was Thanksgiving.

On Saturday we went to my inlaws'.  Normally it's just me, Justin, our kids, and my MIL and FIL.  Justin is an only child, and for some reason they never ever invite any extended family over for any holidays.  However, this Thanksgiving they happened to have my FIL's mother over.  Probably just to meet Isaiah.

Now, I always complain that our get-togethers with them are so boring because it's always just us and them, no one else.  I think I might stop complaining about that now.  While I appreciate that for once we don't have to make a separate trip to go visit Justin's Nonna Maria, I would have rather spent Thanksgiving with just Sal and Lia.  Somehow I got stuck with Nonna for pretty much the entire visit.

This might not have been so bad if I could understand a word the woman says. But I can't!  I never can!  She came to Canada from Italy about 55 years ago and the woman has only learned like 10% of the English language.  What she can speak still sounds like she's speaking Italian, so even when she's speaking English I have no clue what she's saying.  Furthermore, she doesn't understand English much better than she speaks it.  But she insists on talking to me non-stop.  I am positive I look like a deer caught in headlights.  She expects me to respond to her, but I can't because I never know what she's saying!

Then she insisted on holding Isaiah, of course.  This was the most awkward part of the visit.  She is a very short, kind of fat woman.  She hardly has any lap.  Isaiah looked like he was going to roll right onto the floor.  Meanwhile, she is looking at me and talking.  All I can catch are words like son, grandson, Bible, Christian, and God, but despite understanding those 5 words, I have no idea what the gist of what she's saying is.  And she's starting to cry at me.  While babbling unintelligibly.

Deer caught in headlights?  Ummm, yeah.

So, that was the awkwardness that was my first Thanksgiving meal.

On Monday we went to my parents' house.  There was a whole bunch of extended family there.  I wanted to go and see everybody, but I was wary ahead of time.  I really didn't want my 2 week old baby, who hasn't even reached his actual due date yet, to be passed around and held by 30 people.  I'm someone who doesn't even like other people to hold my kids, so having a whole house full of people manhandling him is pretty much my nightmare.  Plus, 6 of the attendees were smokers.  There is no friggin way a smoker is holding my newborn.

However, I didn't want to skip just because of that, so I pretty much decided that if I could at all avoid it, no one else would be holding Isaiah (except Justin).  This included my parents and siblings (which I explained to them), because if someone saw one other person holding the baby, besides his own parents, it would become a free-for-all.

So, I managed to accomplish this without much issue.  People weren't really coming right out and asking to hold him, and the couple of times that they did I had an excuse, like needing to change his diaper (he had literally just pooped) or trying to get him to fall asleep.

Then after dinner I was sitting in the living room in the glider, rocking Isaiah to sleep (he was awake for about 3 hours - it was crazy).  People trickled in, including my Aunt Sonja's mom, Pauline.  Sonja's Dad died when I was in university, so we often have her mom come to our holiday things.

Someone asked if Isaiah was sleeping, and I said something like "Yes, finally, he's been awake since 2:00."

Apparently this was an open invitation to Pauline to start criticizing my parenting.  I can't recall the entire conversation, because I was kind of in shock while it was happening.  I'll just relay what I do remember.  It started with "If you would just put that baby alone on a bed upstairs he would sleep just fine.  But no, you can't do that, you have to hold him."

Again, I was a deer caught in headlights.  I was kind of shocked she was saying what she was saying, and shocked over the tone she was using, but I tried to brush past it and move on.  She wasn't having any of that.

She continued her rant, which included the following: "I could never do what you're doing, holding that baby all day.  I've been watching you for 5 hours, you haven't put him down!  You won't even let anyone else hold him!"

(To be fair, when we got there he was sleeping and I left him in his carseat until he woke up at 2.  Then I did put him down during dinner, when he had fallen asleep briefly, and within 10 minutes he was awake again.  It was about 5 or 5:30 when she was saying this, so she was exaggerating.  But even if she wasn't, I still don't see anything wrong with what she's describing, except the fact that she's being critical.)

At this point I responded with something along the lines of, "He's a newborn baby.  He's only 2 weeks old, and he hasn't even reached his due date yet.  His system is immature.  I don't want him being passed around between 30 different people carrying who knows what germs."

She said something like, "He's 2 weeks old?  Let other people hold him!"

She had said enough by now that I was friggin pissed.  Normally I would just let the person babble on to avoid an awkward confrontation.  But she was criticizing my parenting to my face.  And I'm sorry, but you don't do that.  I wanted the conversation to end.  Now.  So I said, "Listen, you are entitled to your own opinion on how to raise a child, and you had your opportunity to do it 4 times.  I'm going to do what I feel comfortable doing and what I think is right for me and my baby."

She said, rudely, "Oh, yeah, you can do whatever you want.  But do you really think that's what's best for the baby?"

That is when I stopped giving a crap about not being confrontational, about "respecting your elders," or that she is an old lady whose husband was tragically hit by a train.  I said, "Okay, I'm leaving now, because you are being incredibly offensive."  And I stood up and left the room.

(Justin, who was left in the room after I walked away, said there was a very awkward elephant in the room after that).

I really didn't want to run into her again after that episode, so after I saw my mom and told her that Pauline was being a bitch, I went to the basement where my sister, her boyfriend, and Noah were.  Slowly a few other people came into the basement, too.

THEN, down the stairs comes my mom, followed by Pauline, who was crying.  She came over to me and apologized for saying everything she said, that it wasn't her place, that my baby was beautiful, and she would have loved to have held him.  I am sure I was glaring at her the whole time she was apologizing, and I had a really hard time not telling her what I really thought of her.  It was all I could do to say "Yep." with a tight mouth when she asked if I forgave her.

Only an old Dutch person would think that the way to get someone to let you hold their baby is to criticize the way they parent!

Seriously, I normally would never do anything to contribute to making things awkward with someone. I would normally never tell someone like that that they are being incredibly offensive and then walk out of the room.  But if you are going to criticize the way I raise my children????  You are asking for it.

It seriously ruined my entire day.  We left shortly afterward and I had a horrible vibe the whole rest of the night.

Actually, re-telling this story I'm getting that vibe back.  Maybe I shouldn't have written this.  Haha.

Anyway, that was my kind of lame Thanksgiving.  Here's hoping I don't run into Pauline at Christmas time.

Due Date

Today, October 10, 2012, is my due date.

And Isaiah is already 18 days old!

I didn't see that coming 3 weeks ago.

(\On his due date Isaiah weighed 8lbs 12oz... that's 17oz of weight gain in 6 days!)

The Grunter

Ugh.  I adore my babies to pieces, but why do I breed such LOUD grunters?  Everyone thought Noah was the loudest grunter they had ever encountered.  I am pretty sure Isaiah has passed him.

The chiropractor didn't work.  We went back today for one more visit, but I'm convinced it's a waste of money in the grunting department.  The spots that were adjusted last week were all tight again today (I could even feel a big difference before and after), but Isaiah has been as grunty as ever after both appointments, so I don't think that's what's making him grunty in the first place.

Isaiah is now in his own room, unfortunately.  This is not very restful for me.  His grunting is SO LOUD.  It's the same volume as if he were screaming from hunger.  Actually, I think it's actually louder.  So I can hear all of it over the monitor, except the quieter,  normal-volume newborn grunts, and since he's not in my room I have to actually go across the hall to see if he's awake or not.  It's definitely not an ideal situation, but when he's in my room I can't get ANY sleep.

I seriously never know whether he's awake or asleep.  He grunts SO MUCH.  All the time.  And it gets worse as the night goes on.  Both Justin (who sleeps like a rock) and I were awake from pretty much 4:30am onward because the scream-grunts were incessant.

I just ordered a friggin expensive video monitor.  At least that will save me from the many trips to his room in the middle of the night to figure out if he's awake or not.

The only patterns I notice are:

-The grunting is worse when it's been many hours since his last poop.  I think this is why it's so much worse at night - he's usually not pooping at night anymore.

-It seems to be at its worst when he's lying on his back and swaddled.  Unfortunately if he's not swaddled he doesn't sleep more than 10 minutes.  He's not as grunty if he's sleeping in someone's arms or if he's lying on our chests.

I don't think there's anything I can do except wait it out.  Today I'm attempting to go dairy-free, though.  I really think it's a long shot in our particular situation, especially since I don't have a lot of dairy to begin with.  I'm not sure how long I'll be able to keep it up, considering I'm not convinced that it's going to help.  He doesn't have any other signs of a dairy sensitivity.  But I'm sleep deprived and desperate.  So I'll try it.

Because this picture makes me laugh.

Some Firsts for Isaiah

It was a big day today for 12 day old Isaiah.

First haircut.
(I promised myself after Noah's hair fell out in such a ridiculous pattern that if I didn't like my next child's hair, I would cut it sooner rather than later... and I'm glad I did!  For some reason both of my children were born with long hair on the sides, back, and crown of their heads, and really short hair right on the top.  Silly.)

First visit to the chiropractor.
(He immediately found 5 "problem" spots, 4 of which are directly related to the stomach, so hopefully things will improve over the weekend.  I take Isaiah back on Tuesday for a checkup.)

A bath
(Not his first, but still...)

Hopefully tonight he'll be a little less grunty so I can get more than a couple of hours of sleep!

12 days old

Isaiah is Growing!

(In case you missed it, I posted Isaiah's birth story yesterday.)

I was at the midwife's office today for an appointment.  It should have been next week, but I've been suffering from some pretty serious baby blues (that I'm not going to talk about in this post), so we decided to do it this week, and likely another one next week, too.

Isaiah is 11 days old today (October 3), and boy has he grown already!

Birth

Weight - 7lbs

Height - 20 inches

Head - 13 inches

3 Days

Weight - 6lbs 13oz

(The midwife visiting us said this was going to be the lowest his weight ever got before she weighed him... so he apparently only lost 3oz?  My milk did come in awfully fast... just a little over 24 hours after birth.)

5 Days

Weight - 6lbs 15.5oz

11 Days

Weight - 7lbs 11oz

Height - 20.75 inches

Head - 14 inches

Holy moly, he has grown.  11.5 ounces in 6 days.  I knew he was bigger, because his diapers fit a lot tighter than before and I can see his skinny chicken thighs thickening.  When he was first born our Kissaluvs newborn fitteds were loose on him.  They're supposed to fit 5lbs and up, but at 7lbs they were quite large on Isaiah.  They also came extremely close to his cord stump.  Not anymore!  He's still wearing them on the smallest setting, but I'm pretty sure I should unsnap the rise now.  

Speaking of his stump, it fell off already when he was 6 days old, during a middle of the night diaper change, and there was no oozing afterward.  (I compared this to Noah's, which fell off at 8 days and oozed for quite awhile afterward.)  It was nice to have that out of the way for diapering purposes.

Isaiah is still in newborn clothing, but because of his cloth diaper butt the length of the body is getting pretty snug.

I am thinking of taking him to the chiropractor because he's getting pretty grunty while he sleeps.  He's not grunty if he's being held, but when he's sleeping on his own he squirms and grunts a lot.  The past few nights he's done this for the last several hours of the night, which really cuts into my sleep, obviously (we're successfully room sharing, because I went to the doctor last week and got something for my insomnia that actually works!).  I'm not sure if a chiropractor visit would help, but it's probably worth a shot.  I just need to find someone.  

Isaiah's Birth Story (For Real)

Early Labour

My due date with Isaiah was October 10, 2012.  My midwife, Christine, and I had agreed that once I hit 37 weeks, we would begin doing stretch and sweeps on a weekly basis.  The point of this was to help me not go overdue, since I had been in such bad pain for so long (starting at 7 weeks).  It usually takes several stretch and sweeps for them to do anything (and some people will swear they don't do anything at all), so we thought starting at 37 weeks might hopefully mean I'd have the baby around 39 weeks.

I had a midwife appointment on Thursday September 20, at which I was 37 weeks 1 day.  I had been checking myself for weeks, and had been dilated for quite awhile.  I already knew before going to the appointment that I was at least 2cm dilated, which Christine confirmed when she did the internal.  I was 2cm, very soft, but still kind of long (the length of my cervix varied hourly, depending on how low Isaiah's head was at the moment).  She did a really good stretch and sweep.  Like, really good.  It hurt, like it is supposed to.  Afterward I bled.  Not just spotting, but like the bloody show I had with Noah when I was in active labour.  It was not excessive bleeding, but enough to know things really got stirred up in there.

My appointment was at 11am, and by 12pm I was having very frequent BH.  They were uncomfortable and achy (my back was especially achy), but not super painful.  Noah and I spent the afternoon with my Dad at my parents' house, and I tried to walk around a bunch to "help things along" (keep in mind, however, that I thought I was just dilating further, not actually going into labour.  You're supposed to be crampy after a stretch and sweep.)

By the late afternoon I was more crampy and achy.  I was really hoping that I was actually dilating, because otherwise it really sucked.  That night I went to bed a little before 10. It wasn't a good sleep to start out with. I was up already at 10:40 to pee. Then I was up to pee at least every hour, and also awakened by significant (and even more painful) contractions on a regular basis.

At 2am the contractions got worse. They were every 3-7 minutes and they hurt like hell. I'm pretty sure that laying on my side was the absolute worst position for me to be in during them, but I kept hoping that relaxing and staying in bed would make them go away.  It didn't.

I finally started timing them with an app on my iPod, and between 3:30 and 5am I had 20 brutal contractions. Then the app wouldn't time any more because I'm cheap and won't pay for the full version.  Meanwhile, I kept going to the bathroom and the "bloody show" was increasing from the day before.

Finally around 5:30 the contractions started spacing out a little bit more until they were coming every 15 minutes.  I figured this wasn't 'real' labour.

When I got out of bed Friday morning (keep in mind I'd been awake since 2am) I felt really nauseous.  I was confused, because nausea is supposed to be a sign that labour is imminent, but my contractions had spaced out.  There were only 3 or 4 an hour until about 10:30am when my sister got here (we had previously planned the visit, thank goodness). They started to increase in frequency then, and they got really friggin painful. Some of them weren't so bad, but many of them were at a 7/10 on the pain scale. I could deal with them better if I was standing up, best if I was leaning over resting on something. Sitting or lying down they hurt waaay worse. I thought that was weird.

So, all during Friday I was contracting painfully every 7 minutes, each contraction lasting 1 minute.  I also had the runs (also a sign of imminent labour), and I continued to bleed (although the bleeding didn't increase).

Around 4pm I called my midwife.  I didn't think I really needed to, I just wanted reassurance that this is going to go away! The conversation was as fruitless as I thought it was going to be (not Christine's fault, it was just the nature of my labour). She told me to try and get some rest. Take a Gravol and some Tylenol (already done several times, it did nothing). Have a hot bath (the water in my bathtub doesn't cover my belly, so that's a bit useless). Try and sleep between contractions tonight (ummmm... not gonna happen). Page her again if things get longer, stronger, or closer together. Page her again if it's still like this tomorrow afternoon (that would be Saturday).

Around 9pm on Friday contractions slowed to about every 10 minutes.  However, the bloody show was back with a vengeance   At midnight that night I checked myself after an especially painful contraction (I'd been avoiding doing this because I was sore down there from the stretch and sweep).  I felt like I was more dilated.  The baby's head was low, and I could feel his water sack bulging.  Shortly after checking myself my contractions got closer together.  They were coming every 3-4 minutes for awhile, and we thought we might actually have the baby before Noah woke up around 7am.  We were running around the house getting things ready - blowing up the pool, vacuuming, doing laundry, backing up pictures and videos so we could clear the SD cards in our cameras, etc.  Really, Justin was doing most of this, but I was doing my part to get things ready between contractions.

I also took my last belly picture:

By 3:30am nothing had changed.  Contractions spaced out to every 7-10 minutes again.  They were longer, stronger, and more painful, but not closer together.  I gave up and told Justin to go to bed.  I went to bed too, but I didn't sleep a wink that whole night.

The next morning things continued the exact same way.  At about 10:30am I called my midwife.  Things were just too ridiculous to wait until the afternoon.  She said she had actually been anticipating that I would call her in the middle of the night (so was I!).  She had a home visit to make at 11:30, and then she was coming to our house around 1.  She said with the strength of my contractions she'd be really surprised if I'd had no cervical change, and we'd try a few tricks to speed things up.

Midwife Arrives

Christine arrived right around 1.  She took my vitals, and we hung out for awhile while she timed my contractions.  They did not perform well for her.  I had a long, strong one.  Then 10 minutes later had a weak, 30-40 second one.  Then 10 minutes later I had a medium one.  It was lame.

Around 1:45 or 2pm she checked my cervix.  Remember, on Thursday (about 50 hours earlier) I was 2cm.  I was now a very very stretchy 6cm.  She could stretch me to 8cm with no problem.  She and I were both pretty pleased with that, and she said "Lauren, you're having that baby today!"  I'm pretty sure I replied with "Oh thank the LORD!"  She asked if she could do another stretch and sweep, and I said yes.  This one wasn't as long as the first one, but I think it was equally painful.

Active Labour

Immediately after the stretch (so around 2pm) my contractions started coming every 3-4 minutes and they were even stronger and more intense.  She had previously suggested that I take a labour tincture, and I asked her if I really needed to, considering I was suddenly in active labour.  She said "Yes, take it, we want to make sure the contractions stay regular."  She was thinking she'd give me a couple of doses, but I ended up only taking one.

I called my mom and said "Alright, I'm in labour, come on over!  Like, NOW, I'm 6cm.  And call Giliane."  I was really needing her to arrive, because I needed support from someone.  My midwife was busy setting up all her supplies and equipment, and Justin was playing with Noah in the basement.  In between contractions I yelled down to him that I needed the pool filled ASAP.  It was one thing when contractions were every 7-10 minutes.  It was a whole other thing when they were every 3-4 minutes!

I'm not sure what time my Mom arrived.  Basically from the time Christine stretched my cervix and onward I have no idea what time anything happened until Isaiah was actually born.  But she did arrive, and once she did she rubbed my back hard through a few contractions.  Then the pool was ready, so she went downstairs to distract Noah while I got in the water.

I laboured in the water for awhile, and it was much better than labouring on land.  The water was really  hot, which felt great for the contractions, but it was heating me up so I had a fan blowing on me and Justin was bringing me cold washcloths for my face, neck, and chest.  At some point during this another midwife arrived.  It wasn't my second or third midwife, because neither of them were available.  It was the fourth midwife in the practice - the one I had never even met.  I didn't really care though, because Christine was there and she was in charge.

At some point Christine suggested we get out of the pool and talk about breaking my water.  They also wanted to take my vitals.  I didn't really want to artificially break my water, because I didn't want things to get worse and I knew they would.  However, her reasoning went something like this: "It's not a bad idea, Lauren.  It would be good to know the colour of the water.  If there's meconium we won't have time to get to the hospital, but we can call EMS to wait outside just in case the baby aspirated any of it.  It will likely make the contractions more intense, but the baby will probably be here in about half an hour."  Christine is not usually a "break the water" kind of person (she had 4 or 5 babies born in the caul in the last year), so I think this was mostly because a) I live 25 minutes from the hospital, and b) I'd been in labour for 2 days already.

Anyway, we walked to the bedroom and I had a bunch of contractions. Let me tell you, they SUCKED out of the water (not that they rocked in the water, but they were certainly better!).  They took my pulse, which was high, and my blood pressure, which was super low (like, 80/35 or something crazy like that).  The baby's heart rate was also high.  We determined that all of this was because the water in the pool was too hot, so we agreed to add more cold water before I got back in.

I hemmed and hawed for awhile about the water-breaking thing, but then just decided to go for it because if there was meconium in the water and if the baby had aspirated any of it, I wanted to make sure EMS would be there to suction out his lungs.

At this point I was 7-8 cm dilated.  Christine broke my water and they carefully examined it for meconium.  A lot of bloody show came out with the water, so there were a couple of spots they looked at closely with a flashlight, but it was determined that the water was clear.  Relief.

I got back in the tub.  My contractions were a lot more intense.  I had already been feeling pushy during them, and that continued.  Before now I was quiet during the contractions, but now I had to moan lowly through them.

I believe about half an hour passed (it must have been about 4:24pm) when I had a particularly pushy-sounding contraction.  Christine asked me if I felt like pushing, and I said yes, so she said she would check me.  She had me change positions so that my bottom was facing in a better direction (the way I was facing there wasn't really any access for the midwives for when the baby came).  This was tough to do, but I managed.  While I was moving I said that I didn't want to push, because pushing was scary (we have this all on video, which is how I remember this part so clearly).  I said Noah just pushed himself out of me and I didn't really have to do anything, and I really didn't want a long drawn out pushing phase with this baby.  Christine encouraged me, of course, and then checked my cervix.  I was 9 cm with a little bit of length left.  This was at 4:26.

Christine and Joanne (second midwife) then told me I should get out of the pool, go to the bathroom, and have a few contractions on land.  I didn't have to pee, and I really didn't want to try and walk, but I agreed.  They helped me out of the prone position and onto my knees, but right when I got on my knees I had a huge contraction and started pushing uncontrollably.  They could tell from my noises, so Christine started telling me not to push.  I said "I can't help it I'm pushing like crazy!"  She said, "You're only 9 cm Lauren, you're not ready.  Say 'house house house' it's pretty impossible to push when you're saying that."  

I ignored this, because it's actually pretty impossible to say "House" when you're pushing :)  And there was no way I was able to stop what my body was doing.  I was on my knees in the pool with my hand down there feeling what was going on.  At that point Justin (who was off camera) said "Breathe deep, babe, just stop pushing."  I took my hand off of myself and waved it him in a "Just be quiet, you don't know what you're talking about" kind of way.  Not that I was mad, but I had 3 people telling me to stop pushing when I knew this kid was coming out NOW.

Right after doing that I put my hand back down there and everything was pushing outward and I could feel myself opening up.  While pushing I said, "Nope... he's coming."  Christine said "He's coming?  Okay," really calmly and walked over to get gloves and equipment ready.  I think Joanne was like "Oh my goodness get your gloves on!" But Christine said, "She's okay, she's got this."  And I totally did.  This was the part where I felt 100% in control.  All my pain seemed to be gone, and I wasn't feeling any of the stretching or the "ring of fire" from crowning.  The water seemed to make it all go away.

At this point I just pushed his head out.  I was kneeling in the tub with my hand on his head, and it felt amazing.  I couldn't believe his head was out of me.  Christine unwrapped the cord from around his neck (it was looped once, like Noah's), then told me to bring my legs back and push his shoulders out.  I didn't really need any coaching, because it was all just happening on it's own, but I kind of moved backward (although I can't remember what position I was in) and pushed the rest of him out (4:29pm).  Christine and I lifted him up onto my chest.  It was such a relief!  He was soooo tiny, I could tell immediately that he was smaller than Noah was at birth.  It took him 20 seconds to start crying, and there was talk of cutting the cord (they thought he might need resuscitation), but I knew he would be fine.  I rubbed the bottom of his feet and talked to him and he immediately started crying.

So, from the time I was checked and told I was 9 cm to when Isaiah came out was 3 minutes.  I was pushing for about 2 of those minutes, but it was basically just one long instinctual push.  Nothing needed to be coached, it was just my body doing what it had to do to get the baby out.  I loved it.

Within a few minutes of his birth I got out of the tub so they could assess my bleeding (it's hard to tell when you're bleeding into water).  My midwifes lifted me up while I was still holding Isaiah and I got on the couch.  Within about 2 minutes of that I delivered the placenta.  Then all the other stuff went on.  Checking for tears (I had a small first degree tear - which is kind of amazing considering he came out so quickly I had no time to stretch - it must have been the water), sutures, some uterine massage, etc.  I was just cuddling Isaiah this whole time.  He nursed about 30-45 minutes after he was born (he wasn't interested before that), 20 minutes on each side.

After I was done being stitched, my mom, sister, and Noah came upstairs.  Noah was pretty excited about his little brother being on the outside now.  The first thing he said was "He is so little and tiny!!  Awww... he's so cute!"

Eventually I was ready to have him weighed (7lbs), measured (20 inches, with a 13 inch head - 1.8 inches smaller than Noah's!) and examined.  This was all done on the couch next to me, so I could be touching him the whole time.

(I just saw that I'm holding Noah's hand in this picture:)

Christine stayed until... actually, I don't know.  At some point I got off the couch and she helped me shower and get dressed.  The shower went a lot smoother than my shower after giving birth to Noah, where I felt like I was going to pass out.  My Dad showed up right after I got out of the shower.  I guess he'd been at home just waiting for someone to tell him to come over, but we never got around to it, so he took it upon himself to come visit.  My mom ordered pizza for everyone for dinner, and Christine stayed for that.  I'm thinking she must have left around 7 or 7:30, after reviewing all the "things to watch out for" with me.  My mom bathed Noah for us, but I did end up nursing him before he went to bed.

After Noah went to bed my inlaws showed up for a brief visit.  I wasn't there for most of it because I was changing Isaiah's diaper and then nursing him again (while relaxing in bed).  

It was Saturday evening and I had been awake since Thursday at 2am, so I really wanted to go to bed and crash, but I was just way too keyed up to sleep.  I kept replaying the birth in my head.  In a weird way I am sad that it's over.  It's like after your wedding - you are anticipating it for so long and then it goes so quickly and all you have is the memories.  Although in this case I have my actual baby:)  But still.  It's the same sort of "Well... that's over" feeling.

I did end up getting about 4 hours of sleep that night, which was good.  The next night I only got one hour, and I believe I had a meltdown that day.

All in all, my birth was amazing.  I mean, it would have been nice if I didn't have 2 days of early labour with zero sleep, but since it ended up bringing me my baby and I still had a wonderful home birth, with my midwife who I love, it doesn't really bother me.  It makes for an interesting story, anyway.

We all couldn't stop talking about how awesome it was to have a home birth.  It's too bad more people don't do it.  It's awesome to give birth and already be in your own house, on your own couch, going to sleep in your own bed.  You're not woken up by nurses every 3 hours, and there aren't tons of people poking and prodding you and your baby.  The midwife comes to your house for a visit the next day, and on days 3 and 5 (at least they do where I live) to check on you and the baby.

It was just such a calm, comfortable experience.  Christine was so calm, comforting, and encouraging.   I couldn't have asked for a caretaker that I felt more comfortable with and who was more my style.  If I ever have another baby I can only hope she's still practicing in my area.

So, that's the super long story of how Isaiah Matthew made his entrance into our lives.  I didn't think I could immediately love another baby as much as I love Noah, but I totally do.