I was talking to my Mom on the phone briefly tonight to plan something for tomorrow. She was telling me how she and my Dad had a nice time yesterday while babysitting my three nephews. Then she told me how she spanked Josiah.
Awkward silence.
I am the first to admit that Josiah can be a serious pain in the ass. He screams and cries constantly. I would go crazy if he was my child. Then again, I honestly think that if he was my child he might not be so freaking annoying. I haven't really agreed with the way my brother and sister-in-law have dealt with him from the time he was a newborn, and I think their "methods" may have made things a lot worse. I'm not going to get into all that, though.
Apparently Josiah is obsessed with farm machinery, and kept running after the riding lawn mower and plow while my Dad and brother were using them. He wouldn't listen to my mom when she kept getting him and telling him not to. He's not quite 20 months old, and I'm sure many parents who have had a 20 month old know exactly what that stage is like... they don't necessarily understand that they have to obey. Noah went through that stage for a few months, and it was infuriating. However, it pretty much ended when we started time outs at 16 months.
Obviously this is not safe. I get that.
My Mom said how she "had" to spank him, how she tried everything else first.
I had to call bullshit. I said there were plenty of other things she could have done, but that she didn't utilize those things because that's how she parents.
As kids, we got spanked. Not a lot, not all the time, but we did. And when I think back to each and every time I got spanked or saw my siblings getting spanked, I can name several things my parents could have done to handle that situation without hitting their children. And those things would have been just as, or almost as, effective. The spanking always happened because they were pissed.
I told her she should have taken him inside. She said she was taking him inside, and he was screaming and kicking and she wasn't going to put up with that, so she spanked him.
I can understand being so angry and frustrated in a situation that you want to lash out. However, that doesn't mean you should. I have experienced times that I've been so mad at a fellow adult that I literally wanted to hit them, but I never would. It's called self-control.
I am not saying I'm a perfect parent. I certainly am not. I am ashamed to admit that there have been a couple of times in Noah's life that I've been angry, frustrated, frazzled, and at the end of my rope and haven't known what to do and I've swatted him. These occurrences have always been when I am also stressed and angry about something else, and when my husband has been gone too much and I haven't had enough support.
And each time I have felt absolutely terrible. It keeps me up at night feeling sick to my stomach. It makes me feel like an absolutely horrible parent, and I immediately knew that there was no reason I had to do what I did, and there would have been much better options for handling the situation. Even thinking/writing about it now makes me feel ill.
I was never that anti-spanking before I had my own child. I didn't think it was a good thing, and I thought it should be a last resort, but I didn't have really strong feelings about it. However, after having my own child, I really can't agree with it. In pretty much any situation.
And see, the thing is that my mom was not at all apologetic. She was defensive, but not in an insecure way. She said she would do it again in a heartbeat.
Uhh, yeah, more awkward silence.
I really didn't know what to say. I did say, "You realize you are absolutely not allowed to spank my child, right?" But beyond that, it was just awkward silence.
And now I feel like I've lost some confidence in her. I never thought she would spank my kid(s), and she said she wouldn't, but the fact that she spanked another one of her grandchildren and was completely unapologetic about it? It makes me less comfortable leaving my kids with her. Especially at this young age where Noah probably wouldn't report back to me what happened to him.
Noah is really well behaved. At this stage in his life he almost never behaves in a way that someone would think he'd need a spanking. But, he's two. Two year olds can be kind of unpredictable, and you never know if they're going to have a meltdown over something. Noah's meltdowns are few and far between. I can't even remember the last time he had one. But obviously it's not out of the question - he's a toddler.
And now I'm reminded of just exactly why I don't like leaving him with people. Other people are not you. Other people deal with your children differently than you do. If you aren't there, you literally have no control over what they're doing. And honestly, you never really know what's happening.
I have never left Noah with anyone but my parents. I felt like this was the best, safest option. But I wasn't even comfortable with the idea of one of Noah's grandparents speaking too harshly toward him while they're babysitting him. I have actually corrected my mother in law for being unnecessarily stern and scaring Noah. Now I have to worry that one of them might spank him if he happens to have a random toddler meltdown moment? I don't think a non-family-member would ever do that, but now that I think about it, maybe a grandparent might feel a bit too much like a "parent", since it's their child's child they're dealing with. And therefore, they might feel like they can discipline however they see fit.
Seriously, if one of our parents ever spanked one of my kids, they would never ever babysit again.
I feel so unsettled.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Monday, July 30, 2012
More Nesting
My knee is doing a lot better. I am surprised and thrilled. It's definitely not 100%, probably more like 80%, but I can function a lot better now. I am still semi trying to take it easy, because my knee does protest when I am moving around a lot (less so than it was a few days ago, though), but since I've been feeling better I've been getting lots of stuff done!
Last Friday we finally got the new nursery rearranged, and the change brought up. The room is set up in a more functional way, now. After rearranging, I got all the baby clothes up to size 6 month folded and put away (I'd been waiting to do this until I knew the dresser was in it's permanent home, which I couldn't know until the room got rearranged).
Also on Friday I set up the change table with most of our newborn cloth diapers. There are still some left that need to be prepped, but of course I keep forgetting to throw them in with Noah's night time diapers. Noah only pees at night like once or twice a week, so I'm only doing diaper laundry once every week and a half or two weeks. This past load I ended up washing towels with the diapers, because the load was SOOO puny. And yet I still didn't remember to put the diapers in to get prepped.
I don't really like this change table because it's a lot smaller than our other one. It will have to do for now, though. I was hating it when we first brought it in the room, because the nursery furniture is white (Noah's is natural wood), and the change table is a honey colour. It didn't match at all, and it was really bothering me at first. However, it looks a lot cuter now that it has colour coordinating change pad covers and diaper bins/baskets. It blends in with the curtains and the crib sheets. So I can deal with it.
This weekend I also washed, folded, and put away all the new blankets, crib sheets, and clothes. I am really excited to be able to use this new stuff that I didn't have with Noah! The Aden&Anais blankets are so gorgeous, and I can't wait to use the Beba Bean blankets and Miracle Blankets that I bought. Oh, and the Ergo? I can't wait to use that either! It just seems so much simpler to get on and off (and get the baby in and out of) than my other baby carriers.
I'm also really looking forward to being able to use the new sleepers I got. With Noah we only had 4 newborn sleepers. Well, he was a tall baby (21.5 inches at birth, which is the height limit of newborn clothing), but newborns are so curled up that even the tall ones really can't fit in 3 month clothing right away. Their scrunched up legs get lost in the body of the sleepers. So we struggled for the first couple of weeks, doing wash every single day just so we would have enough sleepers for him to wear, with all the peeing, pooping, and spitting up he did on them. I am not interested in doing that again this time, so I bought more. I also bought more 3 month sleepers. And the best part is that all of the new sleepers I bought are zippered! We learned our lesson the first time around - snaps are a huge pain in the butt when you're doing 15-20 diaper changes a day - especially in the middle of the night! By the time Noah was 4 months old he was in 9 month clothing, and we stuck with zippers from then on out. But up until then most of our sleepers are snaps. I'd love to replace every one of them with zippers, but that doesn't make a lot of sense, so we'll just supplement our stash and use the zippered sleepers first.
Also, on Sunday I bought 11 receiving blankets from a girl I know who is done having kids for $1 a blanket. I needed more receiving blankets for the home birth, and they should be ones I don't mind getting ruined. I was glad to get that off my list of things to do. Now I just have to find some old towels that I won't mind getting ruined.
It's funny how much you can have done in preparation for a new baby, but still feel like there's so much left to do. I mean, I already have all my pads for after the birth, that's how prepared I am. But it seems like the more prepared I am, the more I realize has to get done. Thank goodness I'm not a procrastinator! Still, after what I went through last week with being unable to do anything, I am feeling a real time crunch for getting every single little thing crossed off my list. Who knows when the next mystery injury will occur.
I am just happy that I don't have to be bedridden anymore... at least not quite yet. I have several play dates planned for this week in celebration, one of which was this morning. Noah is so happy to be socializing again!
Last Friday we finally got the new nursery rearranged, and the change brought up. The room is set up in a more functional way, now. After rearranging, I got all the baby clothes up to size 6 month folded and put away (I'd been waiting to do this until I knew the dresser was in it's permanent home, which I couldn't know until the room got rearranged).
Also on Friday I set up the change table with most of our newborn cloth diapers. There are still some left that need to be prepped, but of course I keep forgetting to throw them in with Noah's night time diapers. Noah only pees at night like once or twice a week, so I'm only doing diaper laundry once every week and a half or two weeks. This past load I ended up washing towels with the diapers, because the load was SOOO puny. And yet I still didn't remember to put the diapers in to get prepped.
I don't really like this change table because it's a lot smaller than our other one. It will have to do for now, though. I was hating it when we first brought it in the room, because the nursery furniture is white (Noah's is natural wood), and the change table is a honey colour. It didn't match at all, and it was really bothering me at first. However, it looks a lot cuter now that it has colour coordinating change pad covers and diaper bins/baskets. It blends in with the curtains and the crib sheets. So I can deal with it.
This weekend I also washed, folded, and put away all the new blankets, crib sheets, and clothes. I am really excited to be able to use this new stuff that I didn't have with Noah! The Aden&Anais blankets are so gorgeous, and I can't wait to use the Beba Bean blankets and Miracle Blankets that I bought. Oh, and the Ergo? I can't wait to use that either! It just seems so much simpler to get on and off (and get the baby in and out of) than my other baby carriers.
I'm also really looking forward to being able to use the new sleepers I got. With Noah we only had 4 newborn sleepers. Well, he was a tall baby (21.5 inches at birth, which is the height limit of newborn clothing), but newborns are so curled up that even the tall ones really can't fit in 3 month clothing right away. Their scrunched up legs get lost in the body of the sleepers. So we struggled for the first couple of weeks, doing wash every single day just so we would have enough sleepers for him to wear, with all the peeing, pooping, and spitting up he did on them. I am not interested in doing that again this time, so I bought more. I also bought more 3 month sleepers. And the best part is that all of the new sleepers I bought are zippered! We learned our lesson the first time around - snaps are a huge pain in the butt when you're doing 15-20 diaper changes a day - especially in the middle of the night! By the time Noah was 4 months old he was in 9 month clothing, and we stuck with zippers from then on out. But up until then most of our sleepers are snaps. I'd love to replace every one of them with zippers, but that doesn't make a lot of sense, so we'll just supplement our stash and use the zippered sleepers first.
Also, on Sunday I bought 11 receiving blankets from a girl I know who is done having kids for $1 a blanket. I needed more receiving blankets for the home birth, and they should be ones I don't mind getting ruined. I was glad to get that off my list of things to do. Now I just have to find some old towels that I won't mind getting ruined.
It's funny how much you can have done in preparation for a new baby, but still feel like there's so much left to do. I mean, I already have all my pads for after the birth, that's how prepared I am. But it seems like the more prepared I am, the more I realize has to get done. Thank goodness I'm not a procrastinator! Still, after what I went through last week with being unable to do anything, I am feeling a real time crunch for getting every single little thing crossed off my list. Who knows when the next mystery injury will occur.
I am just happy that I don't have to be bedridden anymore... at least not quite yet. I have several play dates planned for this week in celebration, one of which was this morning. Noah is so happy to be socializing again!
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Blackout Adventures
We had our first blackout of the summer on Wednesday night. This is surprising, because we usually get a lot of them. I think it has to do with being a little country town. We definitely don't seem to be a priority for the power company. For example, last summer when the tornado hit nearby our whole county lost power. The city nearby where our parents live only lost power for an hour, but we didn't get it back for almost 24 hours! They put us at the very bottom of the priority list.
Anyway, this blackout was our first, but it was very eventful. Since we all sleep with loud fans on to drown out noise, I woke up the second the power went out just after 1am. Justin is a really heavy sleeper, so I had to wake him up. I said something like "Justin, wake up. Open the curtains. The power went out and all our flashlights are still downstairs from when we were painting. Noah is going to be awake any second and he's going to freak out because his fan is off and his room will be pitch black."
Justin went downstairs to find flashlights. He could only find ONE (we used to have 5, what the heck), and he had the hardest time finding candles. He was scrounging to find just a few - I have no idea where the candles we used to use are.
I went to the bathroom while Justin was searching, and while I was in there Noah woke up SCREAMING for me at the top of his lungs. He sounded terrified. When I got to his room, using my iPod as a flashlight, he was sprinting around his crib in a panic, because he couldn't see anything. Poor thing. I opened his blackout curtains so we would have a little bit of light and took him out of his crib. He calmed down immediately.
After rocking together for a few minutes and staring at the lightning, he started getting a little bit sweaty. I was hoping the power would be on soon, so I wasn't planning on making him go back to sleep until it was. I took off his sleep sack and decided he should go pee and have a snack so that he would be all ready to go back to sleep when the power came back on.
After the snack I called the power company on my cell phone, since we were still powerless. Their number is saved in my cell - that's how often our power goes out. The recording said there were no known outages, so I stayed on the line to report the outage. The woman knew about it and told me it shouldn't be too much longer. This was at 1:45.
We decided to let Noah play as we waited, since we thought it wouldn't be too much longer. I didn't think it would work very well to put him to bed with no night light and no fan on, since he is used to always having those things. However, by 3:30 it still wasn't on and Justin and I were exhausted.
We went to our room. We decided to try and get Noah to go to sleep with us. I thought for sure this would be a big fat failure, since he thinks beds are for flipping and jumping on, and we have never ever been successful at trying to get him to fall asleep in bed with me or us. He laid next to me and I put my arm around him and closed my eyes. He was lying there with his eyes open for a little while, and then he actually went to sleep. I was amazed. I really didn't think he would fall asleep.
By the time he went to sleep it was 3:50am. The room was totally silent except for Justin snoring. I am a terrible sleeper and can't sleep with ANY noise (except white noise). However, even if Justin wasn't snoring I probably wouldn't have been able to fall asleep without the fan on.
So I'm just lying there, awake, as Justin and Noah sleep. Then at about 4:45am something in my house starts chirping really loudly. It was a short chirp every 30 seconds, so it was difficult for me to figure out where the noise was coming from. I eventually determined that it was the downstairs smoke alarm, which must have had low batteries. I couldn't reach it, so I had to wake up Justin to deal with it.
After he wrapped the smoke alarm in a blanket and stuffed it under the couch cushions (I know, not safe, but we didn't have any replacement batteries), we went back to our room and laid down. About 15 minutes later the power came back on! Unfortunately, it was 5am and I'd already lost 4 hours of sleep. I put Noah back in his crib and tried to go to bed, but by then I didn't even feel tired anymore. I ended up only being able to doze for another half hour at about 7 until 7:30am. So I got a whopping 3 hours of sleep that whole night. Brutal!
Honestly, if the outage would have been an hour or two it wouldn't have been so bad. It would have been a fun little 'adventure.' It didn't really bother me to have Noah snacking and playing in the middle of the night, since it's not a frequent occurrence. He would have gone back to sleep in his crib just fine, had the power come back on in a reasonable amount of time. And I would have had more of an opportunity to fall back to sleep and would have likely gotten more than 3 hours, total.
The next day, after my midwife appointment, my knee was feeling 'okay' (more on that in another post), so I went shopping (while limping around, of course, but at least it was physically possible). There were/are a lot of thunderstorms in the forecast over the following week, and I needed to stock up on blackout essentials. I bought more candles, lighters, and flashlights, since ours seem to have vanished into thin air. But I also bought two sound machines that operate on batteries as a backup, and I bought Noah a new night light that has battery backup so if the power goes out there is still a light on. I really don't want to deal with any more nights like Wednesday night.
The only problem, for me, is that the sound machine is such a different sound from our fan. I have mentioned, I'm a really bad sleeper. I can't just switch over to a new type of white noise just like that. So I'm having to wean myself onto the white noise machine, and it's going to take awhile. For Noah it'll take a couple of days, and then we can get rid of his fan and just use the machine. But for me? It could take a month. I had to start with having the noise machine on along with the fan. I'm going to slowly turn the noise machine up and the fan down (and then move the fan further and further away from me, as it currently is on a dresser directly next to my head). The first night I tried having the fan on a lower/quieter setting and the noise machine on, but I got all anxious as I was trying to fall asleep, and even though I ended up turning the fan back up to its normal level I still took over an hour to fall asleep. So I definitely have to do this really gradually.
I guess we'll see how the next blackout goes!
Anyway, this blackout was our first, but it was very eventful. Since we all sleep with loud fans on to drown out noise, I woke up the second the power went out just after 1am. Justin is a really heavy sleeper, so I had to wake him up. I said something like "Justin, wake up. Open the curtains. The power went out and all our flashlights are still downstairs from when we were painting. Noah is going to be awake any second and he's going to freak out because his fan is off and his room will be pitch black."
Justin went downstairs to find flashlights. He could only find ONE (we used to have 5, what the heck), and he had the hardest time finding candles. He was scrounging to find just a few - I have no idea where the candles we used to use are.
I went to the bathroom while Justin was searching, and while I was in there Noah woke up SCREAMING for me at the top of his lungs. He sounded terrified. When I got to his room, using my iPod as a flashlight, he was sprinting around his crib in a panic, because he couldn't see anything. Poor thing. I opened his blackout curtains so we would have a little bit of light and took him out of his crib. He calmed down immediately.
After rocking together for a few minutes and staring at the lightning, he started getting a little bit sweaty. I was hoping the power would be on soon, so I wasn't planning on making him go back to sleep until it was. I took off his sleep sack and decided he should go pee and have a snack so that he would be all ready to go back to sleep when the power came back on.
After the snack I called the power company on my cell phone, since we were still powerless. Their number is saved in my cell - that's how often our power goes out. The recording said there were no known outages, so I stayed on the line to report the outage. The woman knew about it and told me it shouldn't be too much longer. This was at 1:45.
We decided to let Noah play as we waited, since we thought it wouldn't be too much longer. I didn't think it would work very well to put him to bed with no night light and no fan on, since he is used to always having those things. However, by 3:30 it still wasn't on and Justin and I were exhausted.
We went to our room. We decided to try and get Noah to go to sleep with us. I thought for sure this would be a big fat failure, since he thinks beds are for flipping and jumping on, and we have never ever been successful at trying to get him to fall asleep in bed with me or us. He laid next to me and I put my arm around him and closed my eyes. He was lying there with his eyes open for a little while, and then he actually went to sleep. I was amazed. I really didn't think he would fall asleep.
By the time he went to sleep it was 3:50am. The room was totally silent except for Justin snoring. I am a terrible sleeper and can't sleep with ANY noise (except white noise). However, even if Justin wasn't snoring I probably wouldn't have been able to fall asleep without the fan on.
So I'm just lying there, awake, as Justin and Noah sleep. Then at about 4:45am something in my house starts chirping really loudly. It was a short chirp every 30 seconds, so it was difficult for me to figure out where the noise was coming from. I eventually determined that it was the downstairs smoke alarm, which must have had low batteries. I couldn't reach it, so I had to wake up Justin to deal with it.
After he wrapped the smoke alarm in a blanket and stuffed it under the couch cushions (I know, not safe, but we didn't have any replacement batteries), we went back to our room and laid down. About 15 minutes later the power came back on! Unfortunately, it was 5am and I'd already lost 4 hours of sleep. I put Noah back in his crib and tried to go to bed, but by then I didn't even feel tired anymore. I ended up only being able to doze for another half hour at about 7 until 7:30am. So I got a whopping 3 hours of sleep that whole night. Brutal!
Honestly, if the outage would have been an hour or two it wouldn't have been so bad. It would have been a fun little 'adventure.' It didn't really bother me to have Noah snacking and playing in the middle of the night, since it's not a frequent occurrence. He would have gone back to sleep in his crib just fine, had the power come back on in a reasonable amount of time. And I would have had more of an opportunity to fall back to sleep and would have likely gotten more than 3 hours, total.
The next day, after my midwife appointment, my knee was feeling 'okay' (more on that in another post), so I went shopping (while limping around, of course, but at least it was physically possible). There were/are a lot of thunderstorms in the forecast over the following week, and I needed to stock up on blackout essentials. I bought more candles, lighters, and flashlights, since ours seem to have vanished into thin air. But I also bought two sound machines that operate on batteries as a backup, and I bought Noah a new night light that has battery backup so if the power goes out there is still a light on. I really don't want to deal with any more nights like Wednesday night.
The only problem, for me, is that the sound machine is such a different sound from our fan. I have mentioned, I'm a really bad sleeper. I can't just switch over to a new type of white noise just like that. So I'm having to wean myself onto the white noise machine, and it's going to take awhile. For Noah it'll take a couple of days, and then we can get rid of his fan and just use the machine. But for me? It could take a month. I had to start with having the noise machine on along with the fan. I'm going to slowly turn the noise machine up and the fan down (and then move the fan further and further away from me, as it currently is on a dresser directly next to my head). The first night I tried having the fan on a lower/quieter setting and the noise machine on, but I got all anxious as I was trying to fall asleep, and even though I ended up turning the fan back up to its normal level I still took over an hour to fall asleep. So I definitely have to do this really gradually.
I guess we'll see how the next blackout goes!
Saturday, July 28, 2012
29 Week Midwife Appointment
I had my 29 week midwife appointment this past Thursday. It was nice to see her and vent about all the crap that went on in the past week. My blood pressure was still nice and low (90/50), and I know it was a lot higher than that at this point in my first pregnancy, so that made me happy (for those of you who weren't with me back then, I was induced because of gestational hypertension, which I really want to avoid this time around).
I forgot to ask what I was measuring, and we were talking about other things while she was measuring me so she didn't mention it.
The results from my ultrasound were good. No evidence of a bleed, and no evidence of a fibroid. The radiologist said that what they suspected was a fibroid before was probably a focal contraction of my uterus. I think that's odd, since I supposedly had a fibroid measuring approximately the same back at 7 weeks, when my uterus was much smaller... so I don't get that. But whatever, I was never concerned about the fibroid before, so I'm just glad that I shouldn't be needing any more ultrasounds!
After doing a lot of research on it, I declined the glucose testing. I have many reasons for this, but to me it's not even a big deal so I'm not going to go into it. My midwife was totally fine with my decision. We did take some blood to check my iron, though.
I got a list of supplies I need for our homebirth. It looks enormous and daunting, but it really isn't. My midwife is new to this particular practice and hadn't had a chance to read through it yet, but she looked at it briefly with me at the end of my visit and there was a lot of stuff on it that she said was unnecessary. Basically it's all normal stuff, like old towels, washcloths, blankets, and sheets, a bowl to catch the placenta, a plastic container to store it in, a lamp, a small table for the midwife to put all her supplies on, clothes and hats for the baby, etc. I don't even think I have to go out and buy anything. My only problem is that I don't have old stuff. Everything I have is still nice and fairly new, and I don't really want to wreck any of it by bleeding all over it or whatever. So maybe I'll have to see about gathering together some old receiving blankets and towels from other people. Or maybe I'll just go out and buy super super cheap stuff from Walmart, and it won't bother me if they get ruined.
Next appointment is on August 6 or 7, I can't remember. I can't get over how weird it is that time seems to be flying, but my actual pregnancy is going soooo slow.
I forgot to ask what I was measuring, and we were talking about other things while she was measuring me so she didn't mention it.
The results from my ultrasound were good. No evidence of a bleed, and no evidence of a fibroid. The radiologist said that what they suspected was a fibroid before was probably a focal contraction of my uterus. I think that's odd, since I supposedly had a fibroid measuring approximately the same back at 7 weeks, when my uterus was much smaller... so I don't get that. But whatever, I was never concerned about the fibroid before, so I'm just glad that I shouldn't be needing any more ultrasounds!
After doing a lot of research on it, I declined the glucose testing. I have many reasons for this, but to me it's not even a big deal so I'm not going to go into it. My midwife was totally fine with my decision. We did take some blood to check my iron, though.
I got a list of supplies I need for our homebirth. It looks enormous and daunting, but it really isn't. My midwife is new to this particular practice and hadn't had a chance to read through it yet, but she looked at it briefly with me at the end of my visit and there was a lot of stuff on it that she said was unnecessary. Basically it's all normal stuff, like old towels, washcloths, blankets, and sheets, a bowl to catch the placenta, a plastic container to store it in, a lamp, a small table for the midwife to put all her supplies on, clothes and hats for the baby, etc. I don't even think I have to go out and buy anything. My only problem is that I don't have old stuff. Everything I have is still nice and fairly new, and I don't really want to wreck any of it by bleeding all over it or whatever. So maybe I'll have to see about gathering together some old receiving blankets and towels from other people. Or maybe I'll just go out and buy super super cheap stuff from Walmart, and it won't bother me if they get ruined.
Next appointment is on August 6 or 7, I can't remember. I can't get over how weird it is that time seems to be flying, but my actual pregnancy is going soooo slow.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
In Which Noah Apologizes
I know this is my third post in less than 24 hours, but I had to record this for my memories...
Noah loves to flip around and do somersaults (he actually does a perfect somersault, which is kind of impressive) whenever he's on a soft surface. We have established that he is NOT allowed to flip on the same couch or bed that I'm on, but occasionally he just gets so exuberant that he can't help himself.
Just now we were sitting on my bed after he got up from his nap (he woke up in a really good mood). He started to flip around, and ended up doing a somersault where he landed right on my bedside table, smashing into my lamp and knocking over a cup of water. Thankfully it was a huge cup with very little water in it, otherwise it would have been a disaster.
I really do my best not to overreact and get really angry and yell, because it's rarely ever necessary, and Noah is fairly sensitive to anyone acting upset at him. So I'm exclaiming (not yelling), "NO!!! Oh NO Noah!! This is why you aren't supposed to flip! This is very bad!!" while trying to stop the water from spilling all over everything else on the table. Meanwhile he is scrambling his hardest to get off the bedside table. Once he gets back on the bed I'm trying to right everything on the table and I'm still saying things like "This is not good, Noah! This is why Mommy tells you not to flip! This isn't safe! You could break things!" He looks freaked out and while I'm talking he keeps saying, "Hi! Hi Mommy! Hi!" in a little shaky voice (which immediately makes me glad I wasn't actually shouting and getting mad at him). I think he was trying to distract me.
Once I said, "Hi, Noah" (while trying my hardest not to laugh), he said, "Are you happy??" in his shaky voice. Because he always wants to make me happy. I said "No, Noah, I am not happy. I don't like it when you flip around me, and you could have broken things on the table." So he said "Hi, Mommy" again, while touching my arm. I said, "It makes me upset when you flip when you're around Mommy." He exclaimed "Don't be upset!!" I'm still trying not to laugh, and he still seems kind of shaky from the whole incident, so I give him a hug, partially so I can hide my smile.
While I'm hugging him, he says emphatically, "I'm sorry!!" I said, "Thank you Noah, I'm glad you're sorry." After our hug was over, he tilted his head, smiled at me, and asked, "Are you happy, now???"
I told him that yes, I was happy now.
He just melts me with his sweet little heart. I don't know what I'd do without him.
~~~
Noah loves to flip around and do somersaults (he actually does a perfect somersault, which is kind of impressive) whenever he's on a soft surface. We have established that he is NOT allowed to flip on the same couch or bed that I'm on, but occasionally he just gets so exuberant that he can't help himself.
Just now we were sitting on my bed after he got up from his nap (he woke up in a really good mood). He started to flip around, and ended up doing a somersault where he landed right on my bedside table, smashing into my lamp and knocking over a cup of water. Thankfully it was a huge cup with very little water in it, otherwise it would have been a disaster.
I really do my best not to overreact and get really angry and yell, because it's rarely ever necessary, and Noah is fairly sensitive to anyone acting upset at him. So I'm exclaiming (not yelling), "NO!!! Oh NO Noah!! This is why you aren't supposed to flip! This is very bad!!" while trying to stop the water from spilling all over everything else on the table. Meanwhile he is scrambling his hardest to get off the bedside table. Once he gets back on the bed I'm trying to right everything on the table and I'm still saying things like "This is not good, Noah! This is why Mommy tells you not to flip! This isn't safe! You could break things!" He looks freaked out and while I'm talking he keeps saying, "Hi! Hi Mommy! Hi!" in a little shaky voice (which immediately makes me glad I wasn't actually shouting and getting mad at him). I think he was trying to distract me.
Once I said, "Hi, Noah" (while trying my hardest not to laugh), he said, "Are you happy??" in his shaky voice. Because he always wants to make me happy. I said "No, Noah, I am not happy. I don't like it when you flip around me, and you could have broken things on the table." So he said "Hi, Mommy" again, while touching my arm. I said, "It makes me upset when you flip when you're around Mommy." He exclaimed "Don't be upset!!" I'm still trying not to laugh, and he still seems kind of shaky from the whole incident, so I give him a hug, partially so I can hide my smile.
While I'm hugging him, he says emphatically, "I'm sorry!!" I said, "Thank you Noah, I'm glad you're sorry." After our hug was over, he tilted his head, smiled at me, and asked, "Are you happy, now???"
I told him that yes, I was happy now.
He just melts me with his sweet little heart. I don't know what I'd do without him.
Little Underwear
I was uploading pictures from my camera to my laptop last night, and I came across this batch from back in June. We had just come inside from the pool, and I had asked Noah to go grab a pair of shorts for himself while I made his lunch.
He came back with a pair of tiny boxer briefs, handed them to me and said, "I wear these ones?!"
Obviously I had to take pictures, because he looked so freaking adorable. I asked him to stand against the closet doors, and this sequence of pictures makes me melt and laugh at the same time:
This kid just brightens my days.
He came back with a pair of tiny boxer briefs, handed them to me and said, "I wear these ones?!"
Obviously I had to take pictures, because he looked so freaking adorable. I asked him to stand against the closet doors, and this sequence of pictures makes me melt and laugh at the same time:
I feel like he looks like a 4 year old!
He has a sweet life jacket tan.
He almost looks like he feels stupid doing this, but seeing at he was 27 months old I don't see how posing in his underwear could make him feel silly.
Trying to look tough??:
Seriously, I am dying laughing right now.
This kid just brightens my days.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
29 Weeks
I feel like I pick the most random weeks to do these updates. But it's been four weeks since my last one (and consequently, 4 weeks since my last bump picture). I thought I should get on that.
How far along: 29 weeks
Stretch marks?: Wee little extensions of existing stretch marks are there.
Sleep: I went through a horrible spurt of insomnia for about 7-10 days at the beginning of July. I was sleeping only a few hours a night. Thankfully that seems to have been fixed. I still end up lying awake for a couple of hours at night a few times a week, but it doesn't bother me after going through what I WAS going through. Other than that, I'm peeing a minimum of every two hours, and I'm awake changing positions at least every hour.
How far along: 29 weeks
Stretch marks?: Wee little extensions of existing stretch marks are there.
Sleep: I went through a horrible spurt of insomnia for about 7-10 days at the beginning of July. I was sleeping only a few hours a night. Thankfully that seems to have been fixed. I still end up lying awake for a couple of hours at night a few times a week, but it doesn't bother me after going through what I WAS going through. Other than that, I'm peeing a minimum of every two hours, and I'm awake changing positions at least every hour.
New Symptoms: My left knee decided to self-destruct last week, and I've been unable to do anything but sit or lie down for the past week. It's awful and I'm really upset about it.
Movement: Constant and often painful. He pushes on my stomach SO HARD. I swear, this baby boy is enormous!
Movement: Constant and often painful. He pushes on my stomach SO HARD. I swear, this baby boy is enormous!
Best moments this week: Noah is such a sweet boy... the first day my knee was injured he kept coming to me, hugging me, and saying "Hi, my honey!!" It just melted me every time. And he's been so well behaved since I've been hurt. He gets things for me, and puts things away for me, and just tries to be really helpful. He's been so tolerant and patient about the fact that I can't do anything fun with him. We've spent a lot of time cuddling in the past week. I really couldn't ask for a better kid. I just love him to pieces.
Best moments this month: Getting things prepared for the baby. The nursery and our bedroom got painted, and I purchased pretty much everything we needed. The nursery closet, which was my husband's closet, has been cleaned out and loaded with the baby's stuff. Basically all I have left to do is rearrange the furniture in the nursery (currently the change table won't fit), and then fold and put away the washed baby clothes that have been sitting on the bed for the past 2.5 or 3 weeks. There are also some new blankets and things that need to be washed, but it's all just small details. I'm really glad things are as ready as they are, so far, considering my physical condition.
Best moments this month: Getting things prepared for the baby. The nursery and our bedroom got painted, and I purchased pretty much everything we needed. The nursery closet, which was my husband's closet, has been cleaned out and loaded with the baby's stuff. Basically all I have left to do is rearrange the furniture in the nursery (currently the change table won't fit), and then fold and put away the washed baby clothes that have been sitting on the bed for the past 2.5 or 3 weeks. There are also some new blankets and things that need to be washed, but it's all just small details. I'm really glad things are as ready as they are, so far, considering my physical condition.
Food cravings: Lately it's been chocolate. Especially Caramilk bars.
Sex: Boy!!
Labor signs?: I get a lot of braxton hicks, but since I've been bedridden for the past week they have calmed down. I still get about 20 everyday, but that's down from 50.
Belly Button: Fully popped.
What I miss the most: Umm... being able to WALK.
What I am looking forward to the most: Not being pregnant. Seriously. I want to meet this baby and move on from this awful, painful pregnancy. I can only hope I don't make it all the way to 40 weeks, but I'm not counting on it.
Milestones: At 29 weeks, I'm 100% in the third trimester now, no matter how you decide to calculate it. I feel like I have been pregnant for a year, so I am really glad I've at least finally made it into the third trimester. Hopefully the next 2.5 months go by quickly!!
Sex: Boy!!
Labor signs?: I get a lot of braxton hicks, but since I've been bedridden for the past week they have calmed down. I still get about 20 everyday, but that's down from 50.
Belly Button: Fully popped.
What I miss the most: Umm... being able to WALK.
What I am looking forward to the most: Not being pregnant. Seriously. I want to meet this baby and move on from this awful, painful pregnancy. I can only hope I don't make it all the way to 40 weeks, but I'm not counting on it.
Milestones: At 29 weeks, I'm 100% in the third trimester now, no matter how you decide to calculate it. I feel like I have been pregnant for a year, so I am really glad I've at least finally made it into the third trimester. Hopefully the next 2.5 months go by quickly!!
Picture:
29 weeks:
Monday, July 23, 2012
Having a Hard Time
I woke up unable to walk on Thursday because of my knee. On Friday there was a pretty significant improvement, because I could bear weight on it (with pain), but it still hurt quite a bit. Since Friday there has really been no improvement. The pain comes and goes in intensity, but it is always there. I go between using the crutches and limping, depending on how bad the pain is at that particular moment. I have to walk so slowly, whether I'm using crutches or not. If Noah decided to be uncooperative and run away from me, I literally could not catch him. I can't even keep up with his walking pace. I'm 5'10" and he's just over 3 feet tall, but he can walk like 4 times faster than me.
I have looked into it, and I am pretty sure this pain is completely pregnancy related, and therefore it will not go away until I'm no longer pregnant.
I am pretty much useless. And I am having a really hard time with this. Like, a really hard time. I am not a crier, but I have cried no less than three times today. I just can't believe this is happening. I knew at some point I would probably end up useless and bedridden again, considering how my first pregnancy went. But I didn't think it would happen at 28 weeks. And I expected it to be because of my SPD, not because of a stupid knee.
I wasn't prepared for this, and I can't get over the guilt.
My husband is working full time and I am home all day, but I can't clean the house or cook our meals. He has to do it all. This morning after he went out to work, I wrapped up my knee and tidied up the kitchen. Dishes needed to be put in the dishwasher, counters needed to be wiped down, etc. Then I did a quick clean of the bathroom counters and toilet. I was as careful as possible with my knee, but I ended up in a lot of pain, just from that small amount of effort.
I have looked into it, and I am pretty sure this pain is completely pregnancy related, and therefore it will not go away until I'm no longer pregnant.
I am pretty much useless. And I am having a really hard time with this. Like, a really hard time. I am not a crier, but I have cried no less than three times today. I just can't believe this is happening. I knew at some point I would probably end up useless and bedridden again, considering how my first pregnancy went. But I didn't think it would happen at 28 weeks. And I expected it to be because of my SPD, not because of a stupid knee.
I wasn't prepared for this, and I can't get over the guilt.
My husband is working full time and I am home all day, but I can't clean the house or cook our meals. He has to do it all. This morning after he went out to work, I wrapped up my knee and tidied up the kitchen. Dishes needed to be put in the dishwasher, counters needed to be wiped down, etc. Then I did a quick clean of the bathroom counters and toilet. I was as careful as possible with my knee, but I ended up in a lot of pain, just from that small amount of effort.
Poor Justin has been stressed out. He works, and I'm the stay at home mom. There is a good reason that we have this arrangement, and it's to reduce stress on both of us. It's a lot to expect of him to work full time and then do ALL the household stuff on top of that. Really, he can't. I have been mentally planning when he should do certain things, and which days work best for him to get certain chores done, because he doesn't have much flexibility. But even with careful planning, he can't fit it all in. He's one person.
Thankfully my mom is incredibly helpful in situations like this. It was the same way when I was pregnant with Noah and was bedridden for the last 8 weeks. She will come out and clean what needs to be cleaned (or whatever she has time for), and she will bring us dinner or cook it for us while she's here. It's amazing. But she works about 3 or 4 days a week, and has other commitments besides that. So really she can only come out here one or two afternoons or evenings per week. It's very helpful when she is here, but it doesn't come close to covering everything that needs to be done.
I really hate having to depend on other people to do the things for me that I normally do. However, the thing I feel most guilty about is that these are the last 11 weeks I have to be with Noah. These are the last 11 weeks to spend with him as my only child, and I am useless. I can't take him anywhere. Even taking him out to the pool alone is a risky and painful venture. We haven't done it. We spend our days inside, but it's not like we're doing anything fun. I can't organize any crafts or fun indoor activities. It's all I can do to feed him and myself.
Thankfully my mom is incredibly helpful in situations like this. It was the same way when I was pregnant with Noah and was bedridden for the last 8 weeks. She will come out and clean what needs to be cleaned (or whatever she has time for), and she will bring us dinner or cook it for us while she's here. It's amazing. But she works about 3 or 4 days a week, and has other commitments besides that. So really she can only come out here one or two afternoons or evenings per week. It's very helpful when she is here, but it doesn't come close to covering everything that needs to be done.
I really hate having to depend on other people to do the things for me that I normally do. However, the thing I feel most guilty about is that these are the last 11 weeks I have to be with Noah. These are the last 11 weeks to spend with him as my only child, and I am useless. I can't take him anywhere. Even taking him out to the pool alone is a risky and painful venture. We haven't done it. We spend our days inside, but it's not like we're doing anything fun. I can't organize any crafts or fun indoor activities. It's all I can do to feed him and myself.
I don't want other people to have to come out to entertain him. I don't want all the fun stuff he does this summer to be done with other people. I want to be there with him the way I used to be.
I feel terrible. Like, really really awful. It kills me that I can't cherish and enjoy these last 11 weeks with Noah. I wanted to enjoy it as much as possible, because this final time with just the two of us is special to me. I know any woman who has ever been pregnant with their second child feels the same way - you are excited to be giving your child a sibling, but you also feel terrible that they will soon have to split your attention.
I just really wanted to do a good job for the next 2.5 months. I love Noah more than I love anything in this world, and I really wanted to be there. I wanted him to have fun, to enjoy his final weeks alone with his Mommy. I wanted to enjoy my last summer with just Noah. I wanted to get together with friends and their kids. These were supposed to be my last weeks of "simpleness."
I feel like everything is ruined. And I am having a really, really hard time with it.
I feel terrible. Like, really really awful. It kills me that I can't cherish and enjoy these last 11 weeks with Noah. I wanted to enjoy it as much as possible, because this final time with just the two of us is special to me. I know any woman who has ever been pregnant with their second child feels the same way - you are excited to be giving your child a sibling, but you also feel terrible that they will soon have to split your attention.
I just really wanted to do a good job for the next 2.5 months. I love Noah more than I love anything in this world, and I really wanted to be there. I wanted him to have fun, to enjoy his final weeks alone with his Mommy. I wanted to enjoy my last summer with just Noah. I wanted to get together with friends and their kids. These were supposed to be my last weeks of "simpleness."
I feel like everything is ruined. And I am having a really, really hard time with it.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
28 Week Ultrasound
It's Sunday, and my 28 week ultrasound was on Wednesday, so I'm a bit late. Pardon me, I've been a bit busy posting about my stupid knee issues (which haven't improved since Friday, for the record). And it's a pain to have to crop my name and hospital name out of the pictures, so that deters me from writing a post. Here it is, though.
Honestly, the ultrasound was torture. As soon as I laid on my back I felt like I was going to pass out. This didn't surprise me, because anytime I'm on my back for longer than 2 seconds I start to feel light headed. This means that even when I'm rolling over at night (which is a serious feat, between my knee and my really painful pubic bone and trying not to get a leg cramp that would cause me to have to get completely out of bed to walk off, because it takes me a really long time to get out of bed and my ability to walk is greatly hindered by pelvic and back pain at night time when everything gets out of alignment from lying on my side), I get light headed.
Anyway, we put a wedge under the left side of my bum so that I wasn't lying flat on my back and wouldn't pass out. But this caused my pubic bone to get all out of alignment, so that really hurt. AND my enormous belly was just falling to the right side with zero support, so that really hurt. I was trying to hold my belly up with my right hand, but there was no bed beside me to rest my arm on, so my arm was shaking like crazy. And that hurt.
All of that was really awesome.
Even more awesome was that the little stinker was breech. I am pretty sure I felt him do a big flip in the middle of the night right before the ultrasound. And then all morning I was feeling too much activity in the lower half of my uterus. As soon as she put the wand on my stomach, down low, I saw legs (out of the corner of my eye, because you know the screen is never facing me). Then when she went up to my ribs (yes, my uterus is already in my ribs at 28 weeks pregnant) I saw his head. Amazing. I know there is still time for him to flip, but it's just one more stupid thing to be put in the ultrasound report that could possibly cause me to have to deal with more ultrasounds. And yes, "BREECH LIE" was written in the report and on the pictures. I saw that much, too.
By the end of the ultrasound, when I was given the opportunity to actually see my baby, I hardly even cared because I was in so much pain and just wanted to get off the table.
He was cute though, obviously:) His profile really reminds me of Noah's. And he looked a lot bigger that he did at 23 weeks.
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We only got the two pictures this time, which is fine. The tech really was trying to hurry because of my discomfort, and I appreciated that.
I may have seen her writing her notes at the end while I was adjusting my clothes, and I think I might have seen her write that there was no evidence of a hemmorhage. I don't really know, though. I'm still getting really scant spotting every 2 or 3 days, so I thought there would still be some evidence of a bleed. I guess we'll find out this week. I have another midwife appointment on Thursday.
I really really really hope I won't have to do any more ultrasounds during this pregnancy! I just want to go back to being a normal pregnant person. Although I'll never really be that, because I am always a cripple during my pregnancies.
Can you tell I'm feeling done? I'm trying to not feel this way, but I really am done. I just want my baby in my arms. I'm finding it much more difficult to have such a physically challenging pregnancy this time around. I want to have a normal life with Noah, not one where we're stuck inside because I'm injured. I'd rather deal with the challenges of a newborn and a toddler than the challenges of this pregnancy and a toddler.
UPDATED TO ADD: My midwife called today and left a message (since I couldn't get to the phone)... she said the results from my ultrasound look great and there's nothing she is concerned about. So I'm assuming the bleed is gone? I could call her back to find out for sure what it said, but I think I'll just wait for my appointment on Thursday.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Take Us Off the List, Please
At our church people serve coffee after every Sunday morning service. There is a rotating list of people who do this - 2 couples/families at a time - so it's not the same people every week. After Justin and I got married we magically made it onto that list. This annoyed me, because a) I have always hated serving the coffee, washing the dishes, and cleaning everything up (which I always had to do when my parents were on duty for it while I was growing up), and b) we don't even drink the freaking coffee. Ever.
Then I got pregnant and was sick for months and months. And then I was bedridden. And then I had a baby. A baby who had mad separation anxiety and who nursed a minimum of every 2 hours through his whole first year of life. And we live 25 minutes from church. And we went through long stages where we couldn't attend services because Noah's nap interfered with church in a major way. And sorry, my child doesn't sleep in a noisy church nursery (not that he would EVER let me leave him in one) and I'm not about to deal with a cranky baby for an entire day every single week just so we can go to church on Sunday mornings. Thankfully the nap issue has been a thing of the past since Noah went down to 1 nap a day at 12 months old, and we've been attending church regularly since then. Not the every-single-Sunday we were attending when we were childless, but definitely 2 or 3 Sundays a month.
Throughout all of this we continued to be scheduled to serve coffee about every 5 or 6 months. And ever since I was pregnant the first time, it has been an enormous pain in the ass. I think there has been ONE instance in the past 3 years where both Justin and I were able to be in the kitchen to serve the coffee. And I actually think that was short lived, because Noah was with my mom or dad and got upset wondering where I was. So there you go, I was off duty again.
Almost every time we've been scheduled, we've had to jump through hoops. My parents always have to help in a large capacity, and usually one of them ends up doing my entire share of the duty. It's not fair to them, it's not fair to Justin, and it's not fair to the people we're scheduled to be with.
Well, we are scheduled to serve coffee again tomorrow morning. I was thinking this would be the last time we would do it before I asked to be taken off the list. Yes, my parents would have to watch Noah, and frankly, one of them would probably end up serving with Justin because the past couple of months I can't even go to the bathroom at church without Noah coming with me, even though his Dad and grandparents are quite available to him. But we would do it.
And then I woke up with a busted knee on Thursday.
Now I can't help at all. I won't even be going to church. And my husband has to make the trip into church by himself just to serve coffee, and my parents will have to help him.
So I just emailed my church secretary and asked her to please take us off the list. I've been wanting to do this for a long time, but I haven't. Out of guilt. It's awkward to ask to be taken off a list, even if you didn't volunteer for it in the first place. But I'm almost 7 months pregnant. I'm crippled again. We have a toddler who still doesn't want to be separated from me when we're at church, and we're about to have another infant, who I assume also won't want to be separated from me.
To be honest, I have no idea what the point of me attending church even IS, anymore. I spend 3/4 of the service in the nursery, because Noah can no longer sit quietly in church through a nearly 90 minute service (nor would I expect him to). And soon I'll be in the nursery with 2 of my children, not just one. It's going to be ridiculous. I guess I am still going for the community aspect. I can't participate in the services, but I can chat with the workers in the nursery. And then we see everyone afterward. I don't know... the effort is there. It's the best we can do.
I'm feeling bad that I'm sending Justin to church alone tomorrow, and that he'll have to do coffee duty with people we don't even know and get my Dad to help. Seriously, this coffee duty is such a pain. I'm so glad we won't be doing it anymore.
Then I got pregnant and was sick for months and months. And then I was bedridden. And then I had a baby. A baby who had mad separation anxiety and who nursed a minimum of every 2 hours through his whole first year of life. And we live 25 minutes from church. And we went through long stages where we couldn't attend services because Noah's nap interfered with church in a major way. And sorry, my child doesn't sleep in a noisy church nursery (not that he would EVER let me leave him in one) and I'm not about to deal with a cranky baby for an entire day every single week just so we can go to church on Sunday mornings. Thankfully the nap issue has been a thing of the past since Noah went down to 1 nap a day at 12 months old, and we've been attending church regularly since then. Not the every-single-Sunday we were attending when we were childless, but definitely 2 or 3 Sundays a month.
Throughout all of this we continued to be scheduled to serve coffee about every 5 or 6 months. And ever since I was pregnant the first time, it has been an enormous pain in the ass. I think there has been ONE instance in the past 3 years where both Justin and I were able to be in the kitchen to serve the coffee. And I actually think that was short lived, because Noah was with my mom or dad and got upset wondering where I was. So there you go, I was off duty again.
Almost every time we've been scheduled, we've had to jump through hoops. My parents always have to help in a large capacity, and usually one of them ends up doing my entire share of the duty. It's not fair to them, it's not fair to Justin, and it's not fair to the people we're scheduled to be with.
Well, we are scheduled to serve coffee again tomorrow morning. I was thinking this would be the last time we would do it before I asked to be taken off the list. Yes, my parents would have to watch Noah, and frankly, one of them would probably end up serving with Justin because the past couple of months I can't even go to the bathroom at church without Noah coming with me, even though his Dad and grandparents are quite available to him. But we would do it.
And then I woke up with a busted knee on Thursday.
Now I can't help at all. I won't even be going to church. And my husband has to make the trip into church by himself just to serve coffee, and my parents will have to help him.
So I just emailed my church secretary and asked her to please take us off the list. I've been wanting to do this for a long time, but I haven't. Out of guilt. It's awkward to ask to be taken off a list, even if you didn't volunteer for it in the first place. But I'm almost 7 months pregnant. I'm crippled again. We have a toddler who still doesn't want to be separated from me when we're at church, and we're about to have another infant, who I assume also won't want to be separated from me.
To be honest, I have no idea what the point of me attending church even IS, anymore. I spend 3/4 of the service in the nursery, because Noah can no longer sit quietly in church through a nearly 90 minute service (nor would I expect him to). And soon I'll be in the nursery with 2 of my children, not just one. It's going to be ridiculous. I guess I am still going for the community aspect. I can't participate in the services, but I can chat with the workers in the nursery. And then we see everyone afterward. I don't know... the effort is there. It's the best we can do.
I'm feeling bad that I'm sending Justin to church alone tomorrow, and that he'll have to do coffee duty with people we don't even know and get my Dad to help. Seriously, this coffee duty is such a pain. I'm so glad we won't be doing it anymore.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Knee Update
My knee did not improve whatsoever over the course of yesterday. However, overnight it started to feel a little better. I can finally bear some weight on it (with pain), which is a huge improvement since yesterday I couldn't put any weight on it. Unfortunately I can't limp around on it because a) it hurts, and I don't think I should do something that hurts it more than it already does, b) I tried doing this in order to fix myself lunch,
and my knee got really stiff and seized, and c) my pubic bone hurts too much to limp around unbalanced. Therefore, I'm still on the crutches.
Noah has been a champ through all of this. He's been really helpful for me, and really really well behaved. I was alone with him all day yesterday and he was an angel. I am alone with him much of today again, and he has been really good, but my Dad is coming over at 3pm to play with him after he gets up from his nap. The kid hasn't even been out of the house since Tuesday. He's been running back and forth through our house to get out his energy... it's pretty hilarious.
The fact that things got a bit better overnight gives me hope. Thankfully tomorrow is Saturday, so Justin is home and available for the next two days (after 8pm tonight). I am really hoping I will be much better by Monday, and not needing crutches anymore. My hands and underarms are really sore and bruised from them. This whole thing is just so bizarre.
Side note:
Last night, for the first time in over 2 years, Justin put Noah in his crib at bedtime. He usually does the bath and pajamas part of bedtime routine, but then I always nurse Noah and take him to his crib. Last night we changed it up. I knew Noah would need to get used to someone besides me putting him in his crib, seeing as we have a new baby coming in about 2.5 months. But I like doing it, and there was never any reason to rock the boat before now. Last night gave us the perfect opportunity. I'm in my third trimester and I'm completely crippled... sounds like a good time to start, right?
When Justin was putting Noah's pajamas on, I told Noah, "After Daddy puts your pajamas on, we're going to cuddle and nurse and then Daddy is going to put you in your crib, okay???" Noah kind of made a distressed sound and said "Mommy do it, please??" Justin said, "Noah, tonight I get to put you in your crib, isn't that neat?!" So Noah said "Yes!" I chimed in with, "That sounds so fun!" And that was it. After nursing for about 5 minutes I said my usual "It's time to sleep." and Justin came and got Noah. Noah said "We don't go outside!" to Justin while he was carrying him to his room (I have no idea why), and then went into his crib without a protest. It went perfectly. We're going to keep this up at least part of the time, so that Noah stays used to it. It gives me comfort that he is okay with his Dad putting him in his crib (after over 2 years of ONLY Mommy putting him in there). It makes me think he could be okay with my Mom putting him to bed, if need be, and that is a good thing. I'm planning on a homebirth, but one never knows. I'll feel better if I end up in the hospital for a night or two, knowing that Noah will likely go to bed okay for Justin or my Mom.
and my knee got really stiff and seized, and c) my pubic bone hurts too much to limp around unbalanced. Therefore, I'm still on the crutches.
Noah has been a champ through all of this. He's been really helpful for me, and really really well behaved. I was alone with him all day yesterday and he was an angel. I am alone with him much of today again, and he has been really good, but my Dad is coming over at 3pm to play with him after he gets up from his nap. The kid hasn't even been out of the house since Tuesday. He's been running back and forth through our house to get out his energy... it's pretty hilarious.
The fact that things got a bit better overnight gives me hope. Thankfully tomorrow is Saturday, so Justin is home and available for the next two days (after 8pm tonight). I am really hoping I will be much better by Monday, and not needing crutches anymore. My hands and underarms are really sore and bruised from them. This whole thing is just so bizarre.
Side note:
Last night, for the first time in over 2 years, Justin put Noah in his crib at bedtime. He usually does the bath and pajamas part of bedtime routine, but then I always nurse Noah and take him to his crib. Last night we changed it up. I knew Noah would need to get used to someone besides me putting him in his crib, seeing as we have a new baby coming in about 2.5 months. But I like doing it, and there was never any reason to rock the boat before now. Last night gave us the perfect opportunity. I'm in my third trimester and I'm completely crippled... sounds like a good time to start, right?
When Justin was putting Noah's pajamas on, I told Noah, "After Daddy puts your pajamas on, we're going to cuddle and nurse and then Daddy is going to put you in your crib, okay???" Noah kind of made a distressed sound and said "Mommy do it, please??" Justin said, "Noah, tonight I get to put you in your crib, isn't that neat?!" So Noah said "Yes!" I chimed in with, "That sounds so fun!" And that was it. After nursing for about 5 minutes I said my usual "It's time to sleep." and Justin came and got Noah. Noah said "We don't go outside!" to Justin while he was carrying him to his room (I have no idea why), and then went into his crib without a protest. It went perfectly. We're going to keep this up at least part of the time, so that Noah stays used to it. It gives me comfort that he is okay with his Dad putting him in his crib (after over 2 years of ONLY Mommy putting him in there). It makes me think he could be okay with my Mom putting him to bed, if need be, and that is a good thing. I'm planning on a homebirth, but one never knows. I'll feel better if I end up in the hospital for a night or two, knowing that Noah will likely go to bed okay for Justin or my Mom.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
SERIOUSLY?!
This morning at 4:30am I woke up for my fourth or fifth bathroom trip. My left knee was really hurting me, but it was possible to limp on it. I went back to bed. I woke up several times between 4:30 and 7:30 and my knee was still really hurting, and actually seemed to be getting worse.
When I tried to get out of bed at 7:30 this morning it was completely impossible.
Seriously, I have no idea what happened. I had to wake up Justin to get him to help me to the bathroom. I can't even limp on my left leg anymore. It hurts no matter what, and any weight-bearing whatsoever, even just resting the ball of my foot on the floor, kills. Any sort of compensation a normal person might be able to do in this situation, like crawling or hopping on their good leg, is completely out of the question for me because a) I'm pregnant, and b) it would really hurt, and probably permanently injure, my separated pubic bone.
I called my parents by 8am hoping someone could bring me their pair of crutches and come out to take care of Noah for the day. Unfortunately my Dad has an appointment with a rheumatologist out of town at 11:30 this morning, so they can't be here today. They did, however, leave early for the appointment and take a fairly significant detour to my house in order to bring me their crutches. Moving around with the crutches is still painful, but at least it's doable. I wasn't even able to get out of bed again after my bathroom trip this morning until my parents arrives with them.
Thankfully I already have a shower chair borrowed from a friend. I was using it to shave my legs, since that is incredibly painful and awkward for me already. But without it, I couldn't have showered at all today. Even with the crutches I couldn't get in and out of the tub without first sitting down on the chair and then slowly (and painfully) bringing my legs over the side of the tub.
Okay, pardon my language, but WHAT THE HELL??????????? WHY?? Why in the world do I have a swollen and painful left knee that I can't even walk on? Nothing even happened to it! Do I not have enough physical issues to deal with during this pregnancy? Why put another one on top of all of it?
And on top of all of it, I am feeling like total crap today. Like I'm going to pass out and throw up at the same time. And I know I'm not sick, it's just because I'm pregnant.
Noah is going to be watching a lot of TV today. As long as the satellite doesn't crash again (like it already did for awhile this morning) from the rain.
(Also, for anyone who thought I was a bit excessive to be getting everything ready for this baby already when I only just recently entered the third trimester... THIS IS WHY. Crap like this just happens to me. It makes no sense whatsoever, but I've learned to anticipate it. I can only hope that since this knee problem came literally out of nowhere, it will disappear sometime soon. Although it's not getting any better as the day goes on, which often will happen with random aches and pains, so who knows.)
When I tried to get out of bed at 7:30 this morning it was completely impossible.
Seriously, I have no idea what happened. I had to wake up Justin to get him to help me to the bathroom. I can't even limp on my left leg anymore. It hurts no matter what, and any weight-bearing whatsoever, even just resting the ball of my foot on the floor, kills. Any sort of compensation a normal person might be able to do in this situation, like crawling or hopping on their good leg, is completely out of the question for me because a) I'm pregnant, and b) it would really hurt, and probably permanently injure, my separated pubic bone.
I called my parents by 8am hoping someone could bring me their pair of crutches and come out to take care of Noah for the day. Unfortunately my Dad has an appointment with a rheumatologist out of town at 11:30 this morning, so they can't be here today. They did, however, leave early for the appointment and take a fairly significant detour to my house in order to bring me their crutches. Moving around with the crutches is still painful, but at least it's doable. I wasn't even able to get out of bed again after my bathroom trip this morning until my parents arrives with them.
Thankfully I already have a shower chair borrowed from a friend. I was using it to shave my legs, since that is incredibly painful and awkward for me already. But without it, I couldn't have showered at all today. Even with the crutches I couldn't get in and out of the tub without first sitting down on the chair and then slowly (and painfully) bringing my legs over the side of the tub.
Okay, pardon my language, but WHAT THE HELL??????????? WHY?? Why in the world do I have a swollen and painful left knee that I can't even walk on? Nothing even happened to it! Do I not have enough physical issues to deal with during this pregnancy? Why put another one on top of all of it?
And on top of all of it, I am feeling like total crap today. Like I'm going to pass out and throw up at the same time. And I know I'm not sick, it's just because I'm pregnant.
Noah is going to be watching a lot of TV today. As long as the satellite doesn't crash again (like it already did for awhile this morning) from the rain.
(Also, for anyone who thought I was a bit excessive to be getting everything ready for this baby already when I only just recently entered the third trimester... THIS IS WHY. Crap like this just happens to me. It makes no sense whatsoever, but I've learned to anticipate it. I can only hope that since this knee problem came literally out of nowhere, it will disappear sometime soon. Although it's not getting any better as the day goes on, which often will happen with random aches and pains, so who knows.)
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Wordful Wednesday
The Ikea trip yesterday was successful. Thankfully I woke up feeling less sore, so walking was tolerable. My mom couldn't resist teasing me after she watched me walk across the "restaurant" at Ikea (really more like a cafeteria, even though they call it a restaurant). I waddle. A lot. It's kind of embarrassing. But on the bright side, I can totally pass for being 9 months pregnant, so at least everyone watching me (and yes, I was getting a LOT of stares) wasn't thinking "What's up with this chick walking like a duck already at 28 weeks pregnant?"
YOU try walking normally with a giant belly, sore back, and a pubic bone that is painfully separated. It's not even humanly possible.
Anyway, Noah totally thought Ikea was the most awesome playground ever, and I was even happier with making the 2 hour trip to get the dressers once I saw them in person. They're huge, and they were such a good price! The only downside is that each one will take about 2 hours to put together. So far we have only gotten halfway through one dresser... it's going to take awhile. It's a two person job, our kid doesn't sleep very much, and my husband is working a lot.
Right now I really just want the baby's dresser assembled so that I have somewhere to put all the piles of tiny clothes that are laying on the bed in the nursery. After that I can be patient. Or I will try.
After the trip to Ikea we went to my Aunt Joanne's to meet up with my brother, sister-in-law, and 3 nephews. It was a short visit, but still fun. It was insanely hot yesterday (about 115 degrees), so we just swam in the pool for awhile and then left, because it was already 5:30 and we had a 2 hour drive back home.
Bad news though - our portable DVD player broke, so we didn't have it for the 2 hour drive home. I don't know what's wrong with it, or what we're going to do about it. Thankfully Noah did really well on the way home being entertained by my Mom and I. But long trips are not happening anymore until we figure that out.
I'm 28 weeks pregnant today. And I had another ultrasound this morning (number 5, not that anyone is keeping track). I feel like I should do a post dedicated to this, but I don't have a recent bump picture and my back is killing me so I don't feel like going to take one. Maybe later...
YOU try walking normally with a giant belly, sore back, and a pubic bone that is painfully separated. It's not even humanly possible.
Anyway, Noah totally thought Ikea was the most awesome playground ever, and I was even happier with making the 2 hour trip to get the dressers once I saw them in person. They're huge, and they were such a good price! The only downside is that each one will take about 2 hours to put together. So far we have only gotten halfway through one dresser... it's going to take awhile. It's a two person job, our kid doesn't sleep very much, and my husband is working a lot.
Right now I really just want the baby's dresser assembled so that I have somewhere to put all the piles of tiny clothes that are laying on the bed in the nursery. After that I can be patient. Or I will try.
After the trip to Ikea we went to my Aunt Joanne's to meet up with my brother, sister-in-law, and 3 nephews. It was a short visit, but still fun. It was insanely hot yesterday (about 115 degrees), so we just swam in the pool for awhile and then left, because it was already 5:30 and we had a 2 hour drive back home.
Bad news though - our portable DVD player broke, so we didn't have it for the 2 hour drive home. I don't know what's wrong with it, or what we're going to do about it. Thankfully Noah did really well on the way home being entertained by my Mom and I. But long trips are not happening anymore until we figure that out.
I'm 28 weeks pregnant today. And I had another ultrasound this morning (number 5, not that anyone is keeping track). I feel like I should do a post dedicated to this, but I don't have a recent bump picture and my back is killing me so I don't feel like going to take one. Maybe later...
Monday, July 16, 2012
Owww
I am in desperate need of one of the following options (in order of preference):
1. A pelvis transplant
2. A full-time nanny/maid/cook, so I don't have to move (but I can still spend my days with Noah)
3. Someone to gestate my child for the next 12 weeks
Seriously, my pubic bone is killing me. It's like a switch flipped this afternoon and it got so much worse. I really hate that there is nothing I can do about this that makes any difference.
I have an Ikea trip with my Mom planned for tomorrow, and I really don't know how I am supposed to do it. That store is freaking enormous. Unfortunately, there is nowhere else that has such reasonable prices on pretty good quality dressers. So I pretty much have to go.
On the bright side, this evening my friend Jenn went out and bought me a new crib mattress as a baby gift - how nice is that?? I really didn't expect her to buy me anything, and then when we were hanging out in the pool this morning with the kids she was just insisting on buying me something, and she wanted it to be something I needed or wanted that was still on my list of things to buy. I tried to dissuade her and tell her it was completely unnecessary, but then she started offering to buy the baby a new dresser... she is crazy generous! I can't accept a gift like that from a friend, so a crib mattress it was!
It feels good to have the mattress off my list, and nestled in the crib. Now I don't have to make a special trip to buy a mattress. Right now, with my level of pain, that is as much a gift as the mattress itself.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Preparing For Baby #2
There has been a lot going on around here for the past couple of weeks. Almost all of it has been related to preparing for the baby, directly or indirectly. After clearing out the nursery and finishing painting it and our bedroom, things were able to be kicked into gear!
Remember that that post detailing all the things I needed to buy before the baby gets here? I've been making my way through it at a rapid pace! From that list I have now purchased:
-3 miracle blankets
-2 packs of 4 Aden and Anais muslin swaddle blankets
-1 pack of 2 JJ Cole Muslin swaddle blankets
-Ergo carrier and Heart to Heart insert
-2 different types of soothers
Remember that that post detailing all the things I needed to buy before the baby gets here? I've been making my way through it at a rapid pace! From that list I have now purchased:
-3 miracle blankets
-2 packs of 4 Aden and Anais muslin swaddle blankets
-1 pack of 2 JJ Cole Muslin swaddle blankets
-Ergo carrier and Heart to Heart insert
-2 different types of soothers
-Lanolin
-2 crib sheets
-3 change pad covers
-Fan
-Baby monitor
-2 crib sheets
-3 change pad covers
-Fan
-Baby monitor
All I need to buy now is:
-A dresser
-Another crib mattress
-Winter carseat cover
I have also bought more zippered sleepers in the small sizes. We got smart with Noah after the first few months and only bought zippered sleepers from then on. However, by then he was in 9 month clothing (already at 3 or 4 months). Therefore most of our smaller sizes are snaps. Those are a pain when you're doing 15-20 diaper changes a day - especially at night time!
I have also sorted through Noah's clothing up through size 6 months. This was not nearly as fun as I thought it was going to be. A LOT of the clothes had yellow stains on them. Stains that were not there when I packed them away. Even some clothes that were never even worn had the yellow stains on them. After getting pissed off and leaving the clothes in piles on the floor for a few days, I washed some of them in Tide and OxiClean. This lightened the stains, and took them out of some articles of clothing, but it didn't work on everything in the load.
Once again, I got pissed off and left the clothes on the floor of the nursery for a few more days.
There were way too many pieces of clothing to try and scrub each stain separately. It was about 2 full extra-large loads of laundry! Thankfully my aunt is a stain-guru and said that if I soak the clothes in powdered original Tide (which is my laundry detergent of choice anyway) for 24 hours, the stains should disappear. She was right! I still have probably 20 pieces of baby clothing that have light yellow stains, but that is a tiny fraction of what was stained before. I am going to try soaking those pieces again. When I get around to it.
I've determined that the stains are from drool and spit up. Baby Noah did a lot of both of those things. Someone mentioned that formula does that, too, but Noah never had a drop of formula in his life, so it must just be drool and spit up. Considering the majority of the drool bibs and burp clothes had the stains, and most of the stains were near the collars and down the front of the onesies and sleepers, it's the only thing that makes sense. The clothes weren't stained when I put them away, so it must just develop over time. And the clothes that Noah never even wore that were stained? They must have been sitting against a stained article of clothing when they were in storage.
So, to anyone else who experiences this - soak in Tide original powder (and water) for 24 hours. It even gets out old stubborn breastmilk-poop stains. You're welcome.
All of the clothing up through 6 months has been washed now. If this baby is as tall as Noah, this means I will have a 3 or 4 month supply of clothes ready. Not all of it is folded yet. We still don't have a dresser to put the clothes away in, so I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the rest of the laundry baskets of clothes. I'm supposed to travel to Ikea with my mom this week to buy dressers (the closest Ikea is over 2 hours away), so maybe I'll just wait until then.
Other than those few things I need to purchase, I'll just need to wash and put away receiving blankets, set up the change table, and finishing washing/prepping the newborn cloth diapers (most of them are already washed and prepped, there's just a few left).
I'll also reorganize the change table that's in our bedroom. I haven't changed anything on it since Noah was potty trained, even though all he uses are his overnight fitteds and wool covers, and a few flats and covers for nap time (which he rarely ever pees in). I want to reorganize it to have room for newborn diapers and to have it laid out better so that Noah's overnight diapers are stored at the front. They're still stored at the very back, even though they're the only diapers we ever use. Pretty dumb. I'm going to wait to do this until the change table is set up in the nursery, though, since I'm going to split the baby's diapers between the two change tables for the first little while.
You might wonder why I have all of this done already at 27.5 weeks pregnant, even the little things like soothers and lanolin. I mean, obviously I'm going to go to the store many times before I give birth. Why can't it wait?
Well, the first reason is that I am the opposite of a procrastinator when it comes to stuff like this. It stresses me out to be expecting a real live human being and not have everything ready for his arrival at least a couple of months ahead of time. With both my kids I had their cribs bought before I even officially entered the 2nd trimester (we bought second hand both times). Noah's nursery was actually ready before this baby's nursery was. And it's a good thing, too.
Which brings me to the second reason. My body hates being pregnant. With Noah I was bedridden from 30 weeks until I gave birth. And regular movement has been difficult for me since I was 7 weeks pregnant this time, because of my stupid pubic bone. Moving around too much really hurts. A lot. And it makes me contract. A lot. On a day with shopping, laundry, vacuuming, cleaning, organizing, or moving things from room to room, I will start contracting every 3 minutes (that's any one of those activities, not doing all of them). And it will go on like that for hours. And my feet get incredibly sore. My pregnant body just goes into total protest over any form of exertion.
Doing these things is already difficult and painful for me, and it's only going to get more difficult over the next 12 weeks. So, getting all this done as early as possible really is the best course of action for me. Not just mentally, but physically.
There's a lot more that's been going in in preparation for this baby, but those things are more indirect. This post is long enough, so maybe I'll talk about them another day. Right now I'm off to deal with laundry!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Conversation with Noah
Today while we were swimming Noah and I had the following conversation:
Me: "Noah, are you going to have a job when you grow up??"
Noah: "Yes!!!"
Me: "What are you going to be?"
Noah: "DADDY!!!"
Me: "Noah, are you going to have a job when you grow up??"
Noah: "Yes!!!"
Me: "What are you going to be?"
Noah: "DADDY!!!"
And then I melted.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Another One of Those Days
I feel like I have been having a lot of "those" days lately.
Maybe it's because I am so pregnant and uncomfortable.
Maybe it's because I can't get a decent amount of sleep anymore.
Or maybe it has nothing to do with that and has everything to do with Noah suddenly deciding that he is, in fact, 2 years old.
He is usually really, really well behaved. So maybe I'm not used to a two year old who actually acts like a two year old. Up until about a week ago he would never tell us "No." He was always very agreeable. People would actually always remark on how agreeable he was, how all they ever heard was "Yes!" And they'd ask us if he ever said "No." Well, now we hear "No!" and "Don't!" and way too much "I DO IT!!!" in a not very nice voice.
This afternoon/evening has completely worn me down. I took him on a huge grocery shopping trip. This was my first mistake - I shouldn't have gone on a huge grocery shopping trip. By the time I was loading the groceries into the van I felt like I'd been hit by a truck.
When we got home, suddenly it was meltdown city. I still have no idea why. He was crying as soon as we walked in the door, and it just continued from there. It took me at least 25 minutes just to calm him down so that I could start putting groceries away, and I don't even know what I was calming him down FROM.
Then it took me an entire hour to clean out my fridge (because there wasn't enough room), throw away expired leftovers, put away all the groceries, unload the dishwasher, and wash the containers that had been holding the expired leftovers. I wish I could say that in that time I also tidied up the main living area, because there were at least 347 toys and books strewn all over the floor and every time I looked down I wanted to cry. But I didn't. Because it is way too painful for me to bend over to pick crap up off the floor.
However, Noah continued to act like a tornado. Every time I had him clean something up (which obviously takes 20 times longer than it would take an adult to do the same task), he would turn around and make a new enormous mess.
The nice dinner I'd been planning to cook got postponed to some other day, because if I felt like I'd been hit by a truck by the end of the grocery trip, by the end of putting everything away and dealing with the kitchen I felt like I'd been hit by a truck and had my feet beaten with sledgehammers.
By this time it was 6:30pm and my husband was finally back inside from training clients all day. I sat down to massage my own aching feet while my dear husband made sausages and french fries for dinner. And Noah continued to act like a 2 year old. Climbing all over me despite my repeated commands to STOP BECAUSE THAT'S HURTING ME, making messes on purpose, upending his potty, throwing a wooden magnetic alphabet puzzle book so that all 52 pieces went flying around the room, telling us "No" whenever we asked him to do something simple (like "Bring me your shorts so I can put them back on you")... I was losing it. All I could do was laugh, because otherwise I was going to put my fist through a wall.
He was acting like I'd made him stay inside all day. I hadn't. He spent the morning going on a tricycle ride, then running through the sprinkler with our 4 year old neighbours in their backyard, and playing in their kiddie pool. Then after his nap I took him grocery shopping, which is always a fun excursion in his eyes. He had plenty to keep him entertained today. So whyyyy??
I really and truly can't tell if I'm just an impatient person (because seriously I can't stand it when he acts like a brat), or if it's because I'm pregnant and sleep deprived.
Thankfully it's almost Noah's bedtime, and my wonderful husband is dealing with him. He also cleaned up the disaster that was my living room. I don't know how single moms do it. I couldn't.
My unborn child better let me get some better sleep tonight. I truly wish I could take him out of my stomach, wrap him in an incredibly tight swaddle, and then stick him back in.
As a funny addition to this post, Noah just ran into his room laughing his head off while Justin followed him. Noah said "No!" to Justin, and I, sitting on my bed across the hall typing this, said sternly "DON'T SAY THAT!" So Noah shouted "YES!"
Hahaha.
Maybe it's because I am so pregnant and uncomfortable.
Maybe it's because I can't get a decent amount of sleep anymore.
Or maybe it has nothing to do with that and has everything to do with Noah suddenly deciding that he is, in fact, 2 years old.
He is usually really, really well behaved. So maybe I'm not used to a two year old who actually acts like a two year old. Up until about a week ago he would never tell us "No." He was always very agreeable. People would actually always remark on how agreeable he was, how all they ever heard was "Yes!" And they'd ask us if he ever said "No." Well, now we hear "No!" and "Don't!" and way too much "I DO IT!!!" in a not very nice voice.
This afternoon/evening has completely worn me down. I took him on a huge grocery shopping trip. This was my first mistake - I shouldn't have gone on a huge grocery shopping trip. By the time I was loading the groceries into the van I felt like I'd been hit by a truck.
When we got home, suddenly it was meltdown city. I still have no idea why. He was crying as soon as we walked in the door, and it just continued from there. It took me at least 25 minutes just to calm him down so that I could start putting groceries away, and I don't even know what I was calming him down FROM.
Then it took me an entire hour to clean out my fridge (because there wasn't enough room), throw away expired leftovers, put away all the groceries, unload the dishwasher, and wash the containers that had been holding the expired leftovers. I wish I could say that in that time I also tidied up the main living area, because there were at least 347 toys and books strewn all over the floor and every time I looked down I wanted to cry. But I didn't. Because it is way too painful for me to bend over to pick crap up off the floor.
However, Noah continued to act like a tornado. Every time I had him clean something up (which obviously takes 20 times longer than it would take an adult to do the same task), he would turn around and make a new enormous mess.
The nice dinner I'd been planning to cook got postponed to some other day, because if I felt like I'd been hit by a truck by the end of the grocery trip, by the end of putting everything away and dealing with the kitchen I felt like I'd been hit by a truck and had my feet beaten with sledgehammers.
By this time it was 6:30pm and my husband was finally back inside from training clients all day. I sat down to massage my own aching feet while my dear husband made sausages and french fries for dinner. And Noah continued to act like a 2 year old. Climbing all over me despite my repeated commands to STOP BECAUSE THAT'S HURTING ME, making messes on purpose, upending his potty, throwing a wooden magnetic alphabet puzzle book so that all 52 pieces went flying around the room, telling us "No" whenever we asked him to do something simple (like "Bring me your shorts so I can put them back on you")... I was losing it. All I could do was laugh, because otherwise I was going to put my fist through a wall.
He was acting like I'd made him stay inside all day. I hadn't. He spent the morning going on a tricycle ride, then running through the sprinkler with our 4 year old neighbours in their backyard, and playing in their kiddie pool. Then after his nap I took him grocery shopping, which is always a fun excursion in his eyes. He had plenty to keep him entertained today. So whyyyy??
I really and truly can't tell if I'm just an impatient person (because seriously I can't stand it when he acts like a brat), or if it's because I'm pregnant and sleep deprived.
Thankfully it's almost Noah's bedtime, and my wonderful husband is dealing with him. He also cleaned up the disaster that was my living room. I don't know how single moms do it. I couldn't.
My unborn child better let me get some better sleep tonight. I truly wish I could take him out of my stomach, wrap him in an incredibly tight swaddle, and then stick him back in.
~~~~~
Hahaha.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Midwife Appointment
I had another midwife appointment today. It caught me by surprise that it was with my second midwife, Cynthia, not my first, Christine (everyone at my clinic has a team of three midwives. Two attend the birth, one for you and one for the baby. Usually this is your first and second, but you have a third assigned just in case your first or second are unavailable because of another birth or something).
This was my first appointment with my second midwife. I was disappointed to not be seeing Christine, but Cynthia was nice and I'm glad she's my second. I feel really good about the combination of her and Christine. The first half of the appointment was with her student, Jaqueline. Because she was a student I was prodded a LOT more than normal (which is fine, I don't mind helping someone learn). It took her forever to measure me, but after a couple of minutes I found out why... I was 26 weeks 5 days today, and she couldn't get anything under 31 weeks as a measurement!
When Cynthia came in later she re-measured me and said she was getting 30 weeks, but that she could squeeze it down to 29. I had to laugh at the fact that they were trying to make me measure smaller. It really doesn't matter, but it IS funny that I'm still measuring so much bigger even though I'm just about in my third trimester, and I'm only pregnant with one baby. At least there is a legitimate reason for why I look so big.
Other "highlights":
-They were sympathetic, but no help on the sleeping front. Justin slept in the other room two nights ago and I got a full night's sleep (you know, despite waking up every 45-60 minutes and peeing), but last night he was back in our room and I was awake for 4 hours in the middle of the night. It wasn't even his leg swishing... I think it was the anticipation of leg swishing. I might call my GP soon. I think I need something to balance my serotonin. I'm just trying to decide whether I should go on it while I'm still pregnant or wait until I give birth. I'm 99% certain I want to go on something immediately after giving birth, because I cannot deal with a newborn and a toddler on 2 hours of sleep in each 24 hour period.
-My BP was 100/55... I can't remember when it started creeping up when I was pregnant with Noah, but I'm pretty sure it was higher than this by now. I'm glad it's still so low.
-They both let Noah help measure me, and put the gel on the doppler and press the button to turn the doppler on. He loved that, obviously. They were so impressed by what a well-behaved and adorable little boy he is.
-I'm supposed to have another ultrasound in about a week, but I have yet to get the call from the hospital to schedule it.
-My next appointment is in 2 weeks. It's weird... on the one hand I can't believe I'm already at every-other-week appointments, but on the other hand I have felt every single day of the last 27 weeks, and I feel like I should be 37 weeks, not 27.
It's 11:30pm and I'm still awake... I haven't gotten "sleepy" tonight. It's starting to drive me crazy.
This was my first appointment with my second midwife. I was disappointed to not be seeing Christine, but Cynthia was nice and I'm glad she's my second. I feel really good about the combination of her and Christine. The first half of the appointment was with her student, Jaqueline. Because she was a student I was prodded a LOT more than normal (which is fine, I don't mind helping someone learn). It took her forever to measure me, but after a couple of minutes I found out why... I was 26 weeks 5 days today, and she couldn't get anything under 31 weeks as a measurement!
When Cynthia came in later she re-measured me and said she was getting 30 weeks, but that she could squeeze it down to 29. I had to laugh at the fact that they were trying to make me measure smaller. It really doesn't matter, but it IS funny that I'm still measuring so much bigger even though I'm just about in my third trimester, and I'm only pregnant with one baby. At least there is a legitimate reason for why I look so big.
Other "highlights":
-They were sympathetic, but no help on the sleeping front. Justin slept in the other room two nights ago and I got a full night's sleep (you know, despite waking up every 45-60 minutes and peeing), but last night he was back in our room and I was awake for 4 hours in the middle of the night. It wasn't even his leg swishing... I think it was the anticipation of leg swishing. I might call my GP soon. I think I need something to balance my serotonin. I'm just trying to decide whether I should go on it while I'm still pregnant or wait until I give birth. I'm 99% certain I want to go on something immediately after giving birth, because I cannot deal with a newborn and a toddler on 2 hours of sleep in each 24 hour period.
-My BP was 100/55... I can't remember when it started creeping up when I was pregnant with Noah, but I'm pretty sure it was higher than this by now. I'm glad it's still so low.
-They both let Noah help measure me, and put the gel on the doppler and press the button to turn the doppler on. He loved that, obviously. They were so impressed by what a well-behaved and adorable little boy he is.
-I'm supposed to have another ultrasound in about a week, but I have yet to get the call from the hospital to schedule it.
-My next appointment is in 2 weeks. It's weird... on the one hand I can't believe I'm already at every-other-week appointments, but on the other hand I have felt every single day of the last 27 weeks, and I feel like I should be 37 weeks, not 27.
It's 11:30pm and I'm still awake... I haven't gotten "sleepy" tonight. It's starting to drive me crazy.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Out of Control Insomnia
The past three nights I have slept horribly. HORRIBLY. As in, I spent more time lying awake in bed than actually sleeping. And last night was the worst. I literally got 2 hours of sleep. It was an awful combination of listening to my husband's legs SWISH around on the bedsheets and having the fetus who never ever stops moving. EVER.
I have officially reached the point in my pregnancy where I want this kid OUT. NOW. I don't give a crap that I'll still only get a couple of hours of sleep every night for the first couple of months. I am sick of lying there when I should be sleeping. It is not fun to be to feeling this baby try to escape my uterus when I should be sleeping.
I am in pain, I am uncomfortable, and now I'm not getting any sleep at all. And I still have 3 months to go.
I am so over being pregnant. OVER IT. I know how terrible this all sounds, but at this point I never want to be pregnant again, ever, which really sucks because we didn't want to stop at 2 kids. But I can't deal with this lack of sleep, and I don't know how I'm supposed to keep doing it. I am miserable. I just want to hide out alone in my room and cry.
I have officially reached the point in my pregnancy where I want this kid OUT. NOW. I don't give a crap that I'll still only get a couple of hours of sleep every night for the first couple of months. I am sick of lying there when I should be sleeping. It is not fun to be to feeling this baby try to escape my uterus when I should be sleeping.
I am in pain, I am uncomfortable, and now I'm not getting any sleep at all. And I still have 3 months to go.
I am so over being pregnant. OVER IT. I know how terrible this all sounds, but at this point I never want to be pregnant again, ever, which really sucks because we didn't want to stop at 2 kids. But I can't deal with this lack of sleep, and I don't know how I'm supposed to keep doing it. I am miserable. I just want to hide out alone in my room and cry.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Happy Anniversary to Us!
It's our fourth wedding anniversary today!
It was only four years ago, but it's weird to think back to that day and then think about all that has happened in the past four years. I remember our wedding day so vividly, and I sometimes wish I could go back to the beginning of our marriage and live it again. Everybody always says that the first year of marriage is the hardest, but for us it wouldn't have been. We didn't live together ahead of time, but there was no period of adjustment there. There was nothing hard about being married to and living with Justin - it was amazing! But that first year would have been so much better without the pain of infertility overshadowing everything. I wanted nothing more than for us to have a baby, but that intense desire and our inability to fulfill it made it hard to enjoy life. If it weren't for infertility, it would have been the easiest, most perfect year of my life. I guess in some ways I haven't forgiven infertility for robbing me of the complete joy that should have been my first year of marriage.
However, our life is so much richer now, and our relationship has evolved so much. We complement each other so well, and I truly think there couldn't have been a better partner out there for me. I think God built Justin just for me:) I don't know what I would do without him in my life, and I am so excited to be adding a new layer and dimension to our family with the addition of our second little boy in 3 months.
My husband doesn't read this blog anymore, but I love you Babe! Happy Anniversary.
(And by the way, I am not short... I've gotten that several times after people see pictures of me and my husband, because he's so much taller than me. But he's 6'4" and I'm almost 5'10".)
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Painting is Done!
I had to sleep in a half painted room for two nights, but the painting is finally done! *sigh of relief*
I am loving the colour in the nursery. Of the two rooms it was the colour I was not totally sure about, but it's so fresh and bright, and goes great with the white crib. I'll post a picture sometime soon.
The colour in our room turned out nice, too. It's blue, but with undertones of green and grey. Like a really soft greenish-turquoise. After the first coat I was kind of disappointed because it basically just looked like powder blue, but it seems the second coat brought out the green/grey undertones.
The nursery and its closet has been cleared out of anything belonging to Justin, and now that it's painted I can officially start dealing with that room. I was feeling really good about having the room painted because it made me feel so much closer to being ready for the baby - and it is a huge obstacle that we are now past. BUT, today I sat down and made a list of everything that I still need to buy/do before the baby comes, and the list is huge. There are quite a few things I need to buy, which surprised me because this is my second baby and I've already bought everything for one baby.
Examples:
-Another crib mattress (Noah now sleeps on top of two stacked crib mattresses in order to lower the top surface of his mattress so he can't climb out, so the new baby doesn't have a crib mattress anymore)
-Another baby monitor (because I have to sleep with such a loud fan going in my room to drown out other noise, it is necessary that both of my children have a monitor in their bedrooms. If my door is closed and my fan is on, I can't hear Noah even if he's screaming).
-2 change pad covers (we only have two, currently, and we're going to have two change tables going (one in the nursery, of course, and one in our bedroom, which we use to get Noah diapered and dressed for bed and which I'll use for most of the baby's night time changes at the beginning).
-a winter car seat cover (Noah was a spring baby so we never needed one, and I definitely don't want to be draping a blanket right over the baby's face and trying to keep the freezing cold wind from blowing it off. There's a local girl who makes GORGEOUS car seat covers where it's impossible for the fabric to lay on the baby's face, so I'm going to get one of those).
I am loving the colour in the nursery. Of the two rooms it was the colour I was not totally sure about, but it's so fresh and bright, and goes great with the white crib. I'll post a picture sometime soon.
The colour in our room turned out nice, too. It's blue, but with undertones of green and grey. Like a really soft greenish-turquoise. After the first coat I was kind of disappointed because it basically just looked like powder blue, but it seems the second coat brought out the green/grey undertones.
The nursery and its closet has been cleared out of anything belonging to Justin, and now that it's painted I can officially start dealing with that room. I was feeling really good about having the room painted because it made me feel so much closer to being ready for the baby - and it is a huge obstacle that we are now past. BUT, today I sat down and made a list of everything that I still need to buy/do before the baby comes, and the list is huge. There are quite a few things I need to buy, which surprised me because this is my second baby and I've already bought everything for one baby.
Examples:
-Another crib mattress (Noah now sleeps on top of two stacked crib mattresses in order to lower the top surface of his mattress so he can't climb out, so the new baby doesn't have a crib mattress anymore)
-2 crib sheets (because Noah will hopefully still be in a crib for at least 6 months after the baby arrives, and therefore needs his crib sheets)
-Dresser (for obvious reasons)
-2 Miracle Blankets (I'm a huge fan of swaddling, but not a huge fan of the SwaddleMe wraps I used last time)
-Pack of 4 Aden and Anais muslin swaddle blankets (because I grow incredibly tall children and this baby will likely be too long for the Miracle Blankets by 2 months, and the other big receiving blankets I used to swaddle Noah just aren't what I want to use for swaddling this time)
-Ergo Carrier (I'm sure I'll do a lot of baby wearing again this time around, but the Snugli sucks for so many reasons, and I like my Sleepy Wrap but it's a bit of a pain to put on and take off all the time. The Ergo will be better).
-A few different kinds of soothers (it took a few to find the right one for Noah)
-Dresser (for obvious reasons)
-2 Miracle Blankets (I'm a huge fan of swaddling, but not a huge fan of the SwaddleMe wraps I used last time)
-Pack of 4 Aden and Anais muslin swaddle blankets (because I grow incredibly tall children and this baby will likely be too long for the Miracle Blankets by 2 months, and the other big receiving blankets I used to swaddle Noah just aren't what I want to use for swaddling this time)
-Ergo Carrier (I'm sure I'll do a lot of baby wearing again this time around, but the Snugli sucks for so many reasons, and I like my Sleepy Wrap but it's a bit of a pain to put on and take off all the time. The Ergo will be better).
-A few different kinds of soothers (it took a few to find the right one for Noah)
-Lansinoh lanolin (again, obvious)
-Fan (for white noise)
-Fan (for white noise)
-Another baby monitor (because I have to sleep with such a loud fan going in my room to drown out other noise, it is necessary that both of my children have a monitor in their bedrooms. If my door is closed and my fan is on, I can't hear Noah even if he's screaming).
-2 change pad covers (we only have two, currently, and we're going to have two change tables going (one in the nursery, of course, and one in our bedroom, which we use to get Noah diapered and dressed for bed and which I'll use for most of the baby's night time changes at the beginning).
-a winter car seat cover (Noah was a spring baby so we never needed one, and I definitely don't want to be draping a blanket right over the baby's face and trying to keep the freezing cold wind from blowing it off. There's a local girl who makes GORGEOUS car seat covers where it's impossible for the fabric to lay on the baby's face, so I'm going to get one of those).
There are probably more things I need to buy for the baby, but that was all I could think of.
We also need to buy some more clothing storage for our bedrooms. A large portion of Justin's clothes are now downstairs, but he needs more storage room in our bedroom for the clothes he wears on a regular basis. He has a tall dresser in our bedroom, but it's not enough space. We're going to trade out our bedside tables for some three-drawer dressers.
I really wish we didn't have to put out all this money, but there doesn't seem to be any way around it.
So, tonight we can start putting our bedroom back together! It's been really weird in there the past few days... I feel like I'm sleeping in someone else's house. And not just because there's a new paint colour!
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Holiday Painting
Today is Canada Day! Unfortunately we are not really doing anything to celebrate it. Instead, we skipped church, my inlaws arrived at about 9:30 a.m., and our bedroom and the baby's nursery are currently in shambles because my husband and father in law are painting! It's 2:00 and primer has been done in both rooms. Prepping our bedroom was such a pain in the butt, and took over an hour.
Now each room needs a coat of paint. They're supposed to have 6 hours of dry time in between coats, but I'm thinking 3 is good enough since we have two fans going in each room after they get a coat. Plus the a/c is on and the humidity outside is down from 88% this morning to 37% this afternoon. Not bad at all.
The point is, 6 hours seems excessive. We certainly didn't use the full dry time when we were painting Noah's nursery. 3 hours should be good enough. They'll do a coat in each room now, and then we'll break for dinner, and then by the time we're done dinner the first room should be ready for a second coat. Then by the time that room is done the second room will be ready...
I don't know... I'm pretty sure my husband and father in law are thinking I'm crazy that I think this is going to be done today, but it's totally doable so I am just going to make them do it! Even if they have to stay until 9pm. I think it would be nicer for my husband to have the rest of his week off really be OFF, instead of having to finish painting at some point. Plus, I really need my bedroom put back together! I HAVE to sleep in my bed at night, otherwise I will not get any sleep.
In the meantime, my mother in law is here and entertaining Noah really well, so I've been able to help with a bunch of the prep work. I would go help paint, since we have a No VOC paint and there are seriously almost no fumes at all, but the rooms both have furniture pushed into the middle so the walking space is very limited. 2 big men and a pregnant lady? Not so much. Plus my body is really pissed at me for doing so much today. I am contracting like CRAZY, my pubic bone is really sore, and my feet are killing me.
So, no Canada Day festivities, here. However, we had a nice pool day/bbq at our house with some family yesterday. It wasn't in celebration of Canada Day, but oh well. There's always next year!
Update: It's 9:30pm and my bedroom only has one coat of paint. It needs another, so I can't put it back together. I don't even have curtains on my window, and the head of my bed isn't against a wall. I don't know if the hardware store will be open tomorrow for me to go buy more paint (apparently a gallon wasn't nearly enough because our room is too big). Normally it would be, but most stores were open today, on Canada Day, and they're closed tomorrow instead. However, there are NO signs on the hardware store indicating when they are closed for Canada Day. Nothing on a machine when you call, nothing in the flyer, and nothing posted on their building. I think that's really weird. If it IS closed tomorrow, we won't be able to finish painting until Tuesday afternoon.
Ugggh this sucks. I'm going to sleep like crap tonight.
Now each room needs a coat of paint. They're supposed to have 6 hours of dry time in between coats, but I'm thinking 3 is good enough since we have two fans going in each room after they get a coat. Plus the a/c is on and the humidity outside is down from 88% this morning to 37% this afternoon. Not bad at all.
The point is, 6 hours seems excessive. We certainly didn't use the full dry time when we were painting Noah's nursery. 3 hours should be good enough. They'll do a coat in each room now, and then we'll break for dinner, and then by the time we're done dinner the first room should be ready for a second coat. Then by the time that room is done the second room will be ready...
I don't know... I'm pretty sure my husband and father in law are thinking I'm crazy that I think this is going to be done today, but it's totally doable so I am just going to make them do it! Even if they have to stay until 9pm. I think it would be nicer for my husband to have the rest of his week off really be OFF, instead of having to finish painting at some point. Plus, I really need my bedroom put back together! I HAVE to sleep in my bed at night, otherwise I will not get any sleep.
In the meantime, my mother in law is here and entertaining Noah really well, so I've been able to help with a bunch of the prep work. I would go help paint, since we have a No VOC paint and there are seriously almost no fumes at all, but the rooms both have furniture pushed into the middle so the walking space is very limited. 2 big men and a pregnant lady? Not so much. Plus my body is really pissed at me for doing so much today. I am contracting like CRAZY, my pubic bone is really sore, and my feet are killing me.
So, no Canada Day festivities, here. However, we had a nice pool day/bbq at our house with some family yesterday. It wasn't in celebration of Canada Day, but oh well. There's always next year!
Update: It's 9:30pm and my bedroom only has one coat of paint. It needs another, so I can't put it back together. I don't even have curtains on my window, and the head of my bed isn't against a wall. I don't know if the hardware store will be open tomorrow for me to go buy more paint (apparently a gallon wasn't nearly enough because our room is too big). Normally it would be, but most stores were open today, on Canada Day, and they're closed tomorrow instead. However, there are NO signs on the hardware store indicating when they are closed for Canada Day. Nothing on a machine when you call, nothing in the flyer, and nothing posted on their building. I think that's really weird. If it IS closed tomorrow, we won't be able to finish painting until Tuesday afternoon.
Ugggh this sucks. I'm going to sleep like crap tonight.
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