Train Table!

You may remember that at the beginning of potty training we promised Noah a train table once he started pooping on the potty.  This seemed like a great reward, since Noah could not be any more obsessed with trains!  When we started potty training, the train table we wanted to get was on sale.  I kind of thought the poop thing might take awhile, so we didn't buy it at the time.

And then it took like 3 days and Noah was 100% potty trained (except for while sleeping, although he only pees in his nap diaper like once a week, and he's had a fair number of completely dry overnight diapers as well).

The problem was, the train table was no longer on sale.  And as thrilled as I was to have Noah potty trained, I did not want to pay $225 for a train table.  I also did not want the crummy train table that went on sale right after the good one went off sale.  It only cost $65, but it was basically a figure 8 track on a small table.  Too boring.

Last Friday I was heading into town to cash a cheque, and I thought I would quickly check the Toys R Us flyer to see if they had the train table that we were waiting for on sale.

They did!  And they even had it in espresso, which they don't normally carry, so it matches the rest of the furniture in my living room.

Honestly, this thing is so massive that I think I would actually be hating it if it were in natural wool. I'm not a hater of natural wood, but it wouldn't match anything in my living room.

In the interest of keeping things real, I should admit that this train table has not been that neat since I took this picture. Noah really enjoys making his trains crash off the tracks, so he's constantly taking things apart. 

 He has spent hours with it everyday. He's had it for almost a full week, but every morning when he walks into the living room he gasps, smiles, and says "Whoa, what I GET?! It's a train table!"

Onto the pictures.

Being introduced to the table after getting up from his nap... (we had spent the two + hours before his nap putting it together with him in the room (wow, that makes things more difficult), and then the 45 minutes he was sleeping we finally finished):

Smiling as he discovers the different noises the table makes:

In the mornings the sun comes through one of our windows and shines right onto a spot that Noah frequently finds himself in while he's playing with the train table.  So one morning he requested his sunglasses:

He frequently sings Thomas the Train songs to himself as he plays:

Checking out the roundhouse:

This is what I got when I asked him to smile:

I have to admit that having this giant train table in the middle of my living room is not totally okay with me.  I look forward to the day when Noah would actually want to go downstairs by himself to play with it.  Alas, that day is not now, so in the middle of the living room it will stay.

I am really happy with the purchase, though.  It's took bad it took a good month after he was fully potty trained for us to finally be able to reward him!

25 Weeks

How far along: 25 weeks

Stretch marks?: None appearing on my belly, but some old stretch marks in other places are extending somewhat. I don't want to talk about it.

Sleep: Holding steady.   I'm up to pee 4 times a night, and awake to change positions 5 or 6 times besides that.  It's painful because of the pubic bone separation.  Hip pain is under control due to the use of Traumeel cream on a daily basis and the enormous space I create between my legs with the massive mountains of pillows surrounding me on either side (4 king-sized pillows, 1 body pillow, and 5 normal sized pillows).  

Movement: Constant... and getting violent!

Best moments this week/month: We had my sister in law, 3 nephews, Mom, and Dad over today.  It was so fun to have everyone over and out swimming in the pool.  Noah was in his element.  He just swam out to the middle of the pool and kept yelling "YAY! YAY! YAY!" while treading water/spinning in circles.  It was cracking me up.

Food cravings: Sweet stuff.  I don't give in very often, though.

Sex: Boy!!

Labor signs?: At least 50 braxton hicks a day.  Today it was a lot more of that.  A 20-30 second contraction every 3-5 minutes pretty much all day long.  I have such an irritable uterus.

New Symptoms: The humidity is killing me.  It makes me feel like I'm breathing through a pillow.

Belly Button: Fully popped.

What I miss the most: Just being comfortable.  I can't believe I have 15 weeks left.

What I am looking forward to the most: Pregnancy related, I am still looking forward to giving birth, meeting this little guy, and seeing Noah with his little brother... he is soo sweet, gentle, and loving to his 2 month old cousin Asher - he is going to be such an amazing big brother!

Less directly related to pregnancy?  Friday is Justin's last day of "work" until September (although he is training clients full time all summer for our second income).  Next week is his one week of vacation, and it'll be so nice to have him home!  We are hoping to get the nursery and our bedroom painted next week, so that's exciting!

It's really crazy to think that by the time Justin goes back to work, I only have a month of pregnancy left!  His summer vacation always goes by so quickly, so it's really weird to think of that.  I've got to start getting the room shuffle/reorganization started!  There is so much to do this time, since there is not an empty room waiting for this baby like there was for Noah.  There's a room (the third bedroom on our upper floor), but it's currently occupied by all my husband's stuff (mainly clothes)!  All that stuff needs to be distributed between our bedroom and one of the bedrooms downstairs.  But there isn't really room in our bedroom closet or in the bedroom closets downstairs.  It'll be a huge chore, and I would like to have it done and out of the way.  But since the baby isn't due for a few more months, I'd hate to have 3/4 of my husband's clothing banished to the downstairs for longer than they have to be.  It's a conundrum.

Milestones: 25 weeks!  15 weeks left.

Pictures:

24 weeks:

25 weeks:

Seriously I can't believe I'm supposed to grow for another 15 weeks.

Pictures (27 months)

I've been really bad at taking pictures the past few months. We have a big DSLR, and I usually keep it in my bedroom, so it's not exactly accessible all the time. There have been months in Noah's life where I only pulled the camera out once. I feel terrible whenever I realize that.

Recently I've been leaving it on the kitchen island to encourage me to take more pictures. I don't like leaving it there, either, because my brain sees it as clutter. But really, walking to my bedroom and taking it out of its case just isn't conducive to actually using it.

As a result, I've gotten some pretty adorable pictures in the past few weeks. All of these shots are straight out of the camera... I don't have time to edit anything!

Eating Mommy's salad:

Post nap hair... He badly needs it cut, but after the awful meltdowns the past two haircuts I just can't bring myself to do it again:

He asked me to take this one, and then he was soooo serious:

Placenta/Uterus Update!

I literally just got off the phone with my midwife, so I finally know the state of things in my uterus.

For anybody who needs a refresher, here's a post about the things that were going on my uterus, and how we didn't know what the heck was up because I'd been getting my prenatal ultrasounds done at my RE's office, who apparently suck at doing prenatal ultrasounds.

Okay, so the really good news is that I no longer have marginal placenta previa!!!  The edge of the placenta is over 4cm from my cervix, so we are totally in the clear.  This is a huge relief for me.

Now, some weird-ish, whatever news.

I do still have a bleed under the edge of my placenta.  It is about 3cm by 1cm, and it appears to be resolving.  I haven't had any spotting for over a week now, but this placenta bleed is probably what was actually causing the spotting.  Like I've said before, it was very transient spotting, no more than the size of a quarter, always brown, and only 3 or 4 times a week.  The radiologist specifically said that the bleed appears to be resolving, and my lack of spotting seems to support that.

I also do have a fibroid, still.  It's not very big, at 5.4 cm, and it's in the inner layers of my uterus.  It's extremely unlikely to cause a problem, since it's small, there is only one, and it's on the opposite side of my uterus from the placenta.

I will be going for another ultrasound in about 4 weeks, just to check on the placental bleed to make sure it hasn't grown.  But, like I said, it appears to be resolving and I haven't been spotting, so I'm not worried about it.

I know all these things sound like I'm having an abnormal pregnancy, but I really believe that a lot of this stuff goes on in many other pregnancies, but they are never detected because they're not looked for.  And that doesn't really matter, because they're not big problems, and they resolve themselves and no intervention is needed.  I would feel perfectly comfortable not having anymore ultrasounds, but my midwife is very thorough.  So I'll do another one.


I have to say, I am incredibly disappointed with my RE's office.  If my local hospital ultrasound showed a placental bleed and a fibroid, why the heck didn't my RE's office report on these things when they were specifically asked to???  I mean, I'm sure everything will resolve itself, but still, if a tech is specifically asked to look at a subchorionic hematoma and fibroid, shouldn't they friggin DO THAT?  Especially since it's not like these things are microscopic and hard to find... I mean, they're not large enough that they are causing actual issues with my pregnancy, but 3x1cm and 5.4cm... I wouldn't think those would be hard to find on an ultrasound!  With this new information it makes the chicken-scrawl handwriting on the first ultrasound report from the RE's office easier to read - the bleed was 4cm and the fibroid was 6cm.  They have both shrunk, but obviously they should have been clear at the 13 week and 18 week ultrasounds!

I would kind of like to complain to them about their crappy ultrasounds, because this whole thing seems ridiculous.


By the way, I am 24 weeks today... hooray for reaching viability!

Stupid Car Drama

I have posted about car crap before, and here I am again.

We just spent $800 on our two vehicles in less than 24 hours.  And we will have to spend another $800 in the next few months.

This is not the first time we have had to spend ridiculous amounts of money on our cars.  And it's always for completely absurd things.  Our car is less than 3 years old.  Our van is less than 4 years old.  Both vehicles are driven very gently, and have very low mileage on them - much lower than the average amount they expect you to put on every year.  Yet somehow we keep having to replace brakes, deal with punctured tires (we haven't had a single vehicle that didn't get a punctured tire within a short while of us having it), and now we need all new tires on both vehicles!  WTF!!!!

We have the worst luck with vehicles!!!


Good thing we're a double-income family that has savings and money to set aside every month for things like this.

Oh, wait a second...

A Fun Friday

We were supposed to have a playdate all morning today, but found out at 9am that Noah's little friend Ethan had a fever.  I made the mistake of telling Noah that Ethan was coming over around 7am (when he wasn't due to arrive until 10).  Normally I don't tell him someone is coming until 5-10 minutes before they're supposed to arrive, because Noah loves having visitors and he'll just wait by the door for them for a long time, or constantly ask when they're coming.  I follow the same routine if we're going anywhere, too, otherwise he's following me around as I'm trying to finish getting things together just begging to leave right away.

Anyway, since I had built up Noah's expectations about the day, I had to replace the playdate with something fun.  Strawberry picking it was!

This was actually our second time going strawberry picking.  We went with my Mom last Tuesday as well.  Noah loves strawberry picking.

I hadn't gotten around to posting the pictures from our last trip, and I didn't take any this time, so I'll post the pictures from the first trip to illustrate:

The weather was much cooler last time!  Today it was over 90 degrees... definitely no hoodies!

Noah does pick some berries off the bushes, but his main activity while strawberry picking is picking the strawberries out of my container and putting them into his.

Showing me his strawberries:

So, back to today.  After strawberry picking we came home and each ate a big bowl of strawberries.  Then we went swimming for an hour and a half.

Today was a big day for Noah - he is now swimming all around the pool all on his own!  Wearing a life jacket, of course, but without holding onto my hands or anything.  He will swim the 18 feet across the pool totally independently.  And man, he is incredibly proud of himself.  It's completely adorable. (Obviously I have no pictures of this, since I was alone with him and was in the pool).

Even after an hour and a half of exerting himself while swimming, he only slept for half an hour.  After waking up at 6:30 am (and going to bed at 9pm), and not going down for his nap until 1:45.  The kid is super human.

Since he woke up from his nap early, we were able to bring the van to Justin at work so he could bring some stuff home (we had van shenanigans today), so that he wouldn't have to drive home and then drive back to work with the van.

After that we ran some errands, played with the hose, and then went swimming for another hour and a half.  Noah demonstrated his swimming skills for his Dad once he was done training his client.

We came inside for a little while, and then decided to go out for dinner.  I have been really tired today, so not having to cook was a nice treat for me!

After getting home Noah wanted to blow bubbles for awhile, so we headed to the back deck:

It looks like he got some sun, despite me applying SPF 60 to him twice today.

Blowing bubbles... His mouth looks like that because he basically makes the "Fffffff" sound in order to blow the air out.  It's hilarious, but pretty effective.

Looking longingly at the pool... apparently 3 hours of swimming in one day wasn't enough for him:

Waiting to pop Daddy's bubble:

Thinking it's pretty funny:

We had a full, busy, fun day, despite our cancelled playdate.  I am thoroughly enjoying my last summer with just Noah, and he really seems to be, too!  Normally I love the idea of summer but end up staying inside a lot because of the heat and humidity.  This summer, with the pool, we are able to have a lot of fun outside!  I am so glad we put the pool in last year, despite the expense and some of the annoyances.  It has seriously improved our quality of life... I'm really not sure what Noah and I would fill our time with on these hot summer days if we couldn't go out to the backyard and go swimming!

23 Week Ultrasound

I had my fourth ultrasound today (23 weeks 1 day), the one to check my placenta.  The tech told me nothing.  I didn't really expect her to, as she's not supposed to, but I was still bummed.  I am hoping my midwife will be able to access the report tomorrow.  If she can, she'll call me.  Otherwise it won't be until next week.

I would really like to know what's going on.  I've been feeling stressed about it.  It's not that I think anything is wrong with the baby, but I am just very stressed about the whole situation if my placenta doesn't end up moving far enough from my cervix.  I don't want a hospital birth, I don't want an OB, and I certainly don't want a c-section.  So the whole thing stresses me out.  I just want to know that it's moved (or is close enough to being far enough away) so that I can move on.

In the meantime, here's my little man, who is beating me up from the inside as I type this:

This one is cool, you can see his curly umbilical cord:

They gave me a CD of images this time.  The whole experience was different from when I was pregnant with Noah (I got all my ultrasounds done at our local hospital except the first one).  Since I had Noah everything has been moved to a new hospital location, so everything is brand new instead of ghetto.  And instead of just getting an 8x11 piece of paper with a picture on it, we get a CD of images!  Very cool.

However, the ultrasound itself was boring.  The screen was facing away from me the whole time except for the one minute at the end that she showed me the baby.  So all I could do was stare at the ceiling.  Sucky.

I will update again once I know the state of my placenta.

The Past 5 Days

My hubby was gone for three full days last week - Thursday, Friday, Saturday.  I kept myself as busy as possible, especially in the evenings, because otherwise I get all bitter about being left alone for 3 days for an optional track and field meet.  Especially when I was left alone for two full days the week before for another optional track and field meet.

Here's what we did:

Thursday - In the morning Noah and I went into town for my midwife appointment, and then went shopping for my friend for her bridal shower.  We went home for nap, which didn't happen for whatever reason.  Then we went back into town to my parents' house to hang out and for dinner.

Friday - We had my friend Melissa and her 8 month old daughter Talya over.  We played inside and went out to the pool, as well.  Then naptime.  After nap Noah and I went back out to the pool until 5:20.  I thought we'd stay home for the evening, since we had been fully occupied until that point... that turned out to be a mistake.  Noah goes to bed pretty late, so we just felt like it was a long time to fill.  I got so lonely and bored.  Apparently I am a huge suck.  But even Noah was asking "Can we go somewhere, please?"

Saturday - My parents came over at 11:30 in the morning and didn't leave until 7:30.  We spent the day by the pool and then I made them baked potatoes, BBQed steak, and vegetables for dinner.  I surprised myself (and my parents) in that I was able to BBQ the steak and actually do a really good job.  I have never actually BBQed before!  I've turned the BBQ on, and I've started to BBQ things like pork chops, chicken, and burgers.  But my hubby has always stepped in by the halfway point and finished things.

On Sunday morning Justin was finally home!  But Noah and I had to leave at 9:30am to meet up with my Mom and then drive 2 hours away for my friend Corey's bridal shower.  I was pretty much dreading Sunday for a long time.  I didn't want to bring Noah because there was 4 hours of driving in one day, and a fancy bridal shower to bring a 2 year old boy to.  But I was also 100% uncomfortable with leaving him in a different city for 9 hours while I was 2 hours away.  I had never left Noah any longer than 2 hours before, and I just was not comfortable leaving him for that huge chunk of time when I was not in pretty close proximity to come home if things weren't going well.

I hemmed and hawed about it for awhile, but the few days leading up to the shower (along with the way Sunday morning went) clinched it for me.  I would have not enjoyed myself at all because of worrying about Noah if I hadn't brought him.

So, as I mentioned, I was a little bit worried about the trip.  However, it couldn't have gone smoother!  I knew Noah would be awesome at the shower (he's been to many showers and always done really well), and he was.  He was the only kid there, and we were there for about 4 hours, but everyone was incredibly impressed with him.  He was as good as gold.

The car ride was what I was more worried about.  4 hours in the car in one day is a lot to ask of any toddler.  But Noah was perfect.  He slept for about half an hour on the way there (he was up way too early that morning), but other than that he was fully awake.  Still, he didn't even whine.  Like I said, it couldn't have gone smoother, so I was thrilled!

It was nice to be able to make it to the shower, because Corey is getting married on September 29.  My due date is October 10.  Considering my current level of pain/discomfort, and taking into considering how I was completely crippled at that point in my pregnancy with Noah, I am 99% certain I won't be able to make it to the wedding.  Corey is a really good friend - we lived together for 3 years in university, and she was one of my bridesmaids when I got married (before she got engaged I told her I loved her, but asked her to please not ask me to be a bridesmaid, because I would probably be pregnant or have a newborn, plus I have Noah, and I just wouldn't be able to handle the responsibility).  Not making it to her wedding is pretty sad for us, so it was really nice to be able to celebrate with her on Sunday.

So that was my weekend.

This morning Noah and I went to parent/child drop in to get out of the house and play.  It was okay... there were only two other kids there, and I wanted to punch the one little boy.  Noah tried to go over and play with them twice, and both times the little boy shrieked/growled at Noah when he got close.  Both times Noah jumped and ran away terrified.  I was so mad.  Noah is just the nicest, sweetest little boy.  When he is playing with other kids he is so helpful and kind to them.  He would never be mean!  We don't really ever even interact with mean little kids.  I only get together with friends who have nice little kids, because why would I want to hang out with a brat?

What happened this morning was such a small thing, but it really bothers me.  It just reminds me how mean some kids can be, and how I can't protect Noah from everything that's going to hurt him in his life.  As a mother, that thought makes me cry.


Okay, moving along.  This afternoon I told Justin that after 4 full days of being Noah's only parent, I was ready to get out of the house - alone.  So I went shopping.  In town.  Without Noah.  I realized today that I have never done that.  I have never left Noah at home with Justin and gone to a different city.  I've left him at home with Justin so I can run errands in our little town, but I've never actually left town.  I was gone for 3 hours.  Justin said it wasn't totally smooth sailing, and Noah had a bit of a hard time.  But they made it through unscathed.

I think it's important that Noah realized I was actually gone, and I was gone for awhile, and then I came back.  He still has really bad separation anxiety from me.  The problem is that I usually don't have any reason to leave him.  I don't have any childless friends nearby, and there's not a lot that I would go do that Noah wouldn't really enjoy... so I take him!  Plus, Justin isn't home a ton because of teaching and coaching, so it's not like I have very many opportunities to take off by myself.

Today I did, so I took it.  I went to town, picked up my mom, and went shopping.  I bought four super cute maxi dresses that I am really looking forward to wearing!  Life is about to get a lot more comfortable:)

Why I Don't Want an OB

After my post yesterday I received a comment from someone I don't know.  Here was the comment:

Here is what I don't I don't understand and perhaps you can explain it to me (and i'm not trying to be critical of your choices but I would like to understand them):

Clearly you are having issues - spotting, cysts, fibroid. Yet you won't see a doctor. You might have a serious pregnancy condition yet you rely on a midwife. A midwife is not a doctor. I just don't get why women see midwives. I get that you don't want a c-section but shouldnt you be more concerned about having a healthy baby? I don't understand the aversion to an OB - a highly trained medical professional - especially when you are obviously experiencing a somewhat abnormal pregnancy. It seems like you are more concerned with having some ideal pregnancy and birth experience than the risks you are facing which could seriously harm your baby.

I'm really not trying to harp on you or make you feel bad - I would just like to understand your rationale.

Okay, I am going to admit, I got offended after reading that.  It didn't make me feel bad - not at all.  It certainly ticked me off, though.  Then I decided to really take this commenter at her word - she is not trying to be critical, but she would really like to understand.  

So I will explain it.

A midwife is a trained professional.  I am not seeing some idiot on the side of the road who saw someone give birth and thinks she's an expert.  I am seeing a team of professionals who got their degrees in midwifery, and are licensed.  They have rules and restrictions and guidelines.  They want the best possible outcome for the patients, and they will do everything they can to get you the outcome that you want, as long as it is safe for you and the baby.  

Canadian midwives can do anything that an OB can do, except induce labour with synthetic oxytocin, prescribe drugs during labour, use forceps or vacuum extractor, or do a c-section.  I very much do not want any of those interventions, as they all carry great risks.  However, if I required them, my care would swiftly be transferred to an OB. 

With my midwife, I can give birth in a hospital or at home.  The midwives in Canada have hospital privileges, just like a doctor.  I have given birth in a hospital, and it was not what I wanted for my birth.  Unfortunately, I waited a bit too long into my first pregnancy to try to get into the midwives, so I was stuck with an OB.  And things occurred during my pregnancy and at my birth that I really didn't want to happen - and they wouldn't have happened if I had a midwife.

Midwives are experts on "normal" pregnancy.  An OB is a trained surgeon, and really should only be there for the small percentage of high risk pregnant women that exist.  In most other industrialized countries, this is how it works.  Midwives are the primary care provider for 70-90% of pregnant women.  The OBs are there for when they are needed - for high risk women and for emergency situations.  And you know what?  All of those countries have much better outcomes than the United States.  The U.S. has one of the highest infant and mother mortality rates of all the industrialized countries, even though the vast majority of the pregnant women are under the care of an OB.  All hail the highly trained medical professionals whose interventions create such wonderful outcomes?  Not so much.

OBs apply interventions where no interventions are needed.  Pregnancy is normal and natural, and the majority of the time it does not require the level of intervention that an obstetrician applies.  OBs are great and wonderful when they are needed.  I would never suggest getting rid of OBs.  They certainly have their place, and they do save lives.  But they have also systematically destroyed the process of birth, because they are not trained to treat it as normal.  They are impatient, they want to intervene, they want to speed things up, and these interventions cause problems.

Now, let's address my specific situation:  

The ovarian cysts are not a problem.  I had cysts last time I was pregnant, too. They're leftover from the stimulation from the injectables.  They might even be gone by now, although during my first pregnancy I still had them at 20 weeks... still, not a problem.

The fibroid... I have no idea.  My midwife would like more information on this supposed fibroid, but I'm not even sure it exists since the only time it was ever mentioned was in ONE ultrasound report at 7 weeks pregnant.  If it was going to cause a problem in this pregnancy, it probably would have been mentioned in other reports (I say "probably" because I'm not totally confident in the u/s reports my REs office has been sending).

The hematoma - hasn't been mentioned since 7 weeks, so it might be gone.  But yes, we would like to know more.

The spotting - scant brown spotting 3 times a week is hardly anything to switch to an OB over.  Especially since there are a couple of things we are already aware of that could be causing it, and none of them are anything that an OB can do anything about at this point.

Finally, the previa.  At 18 weeks I had marginal placenta previa.  That means my placenta is close to the opening of the cervix.  It is not covering it at all, it is just close to it.  In the majority of cases of marginal previa, as the uterus continues to expand, the placenta moves up and away from the cervix.  Think about drawing a dot near the neck of a balloon that you haven't blown up.  When you do blow up the balloon, the dot is not going to end up very close to the neck of the balloon.  The same thing usually happens with marginal previa (and often happens with other forms of previa, too).

I am 22 weeks pregnant.  There is absolutely no reason for me to be transferred to an OB right now.  An OB would only do what my midwife can do anyway - send me for ultrasounds, and order any tests I need.  I am going for an ultrasound next Thursday, requisitioned by the midwife, and if my placenta hasn't moved by an appropriate amount, then I will go for another ultrasound at 28 weeks.  

If I end up with placenta previa continuing into the 3rd trimester, then we will consult with an OB.  

Now, these parts enraged me: "I get that you don't want a c-section but shouldnt you be more concerned about having a healthy baby?[...] It seems like you are more concerned with having some ideal pregnancy and birth experience than the risks you are facing which could seriously harm your baby."

Wow, that sounds so offensive.  

First of all, the "risks I am facing"??  I am not classified as high risk by any means.  Not even an OB would consider me high risk at this point.  I am still extremely low risk.  Nothing am experiencing is going to "seriously harm" my perfectly healthy baby.

Obviously I care about the health of my baby more than I care about having a c-section.  However, I 100% do not want a c-section unless it is absolutely necessary.  News flash: c-sections have way more risks than vaginal births!  C-sections are not healthy for mothers and babies.  It is great that we have the option of c-sections when they are legitimately and medically necessary.  But a c-section rate of over 30% is insane!  Do you think 30% of people need a c-section?  They don't.  In areas were women are almost exclusively taken care of my midwives who have a very low rate of interventions, the c-section rates are less than 2%.  If you just leave people alone, less than 2% of women end up needing a c-section.  The reason the rate in the U.S. is over 30% is because of OBs and their unnecessary interventions, which end up causing problems for mother and baby, which then necessitates a c-section.  Another reason the rate is so high is because OBs are cut-happy.  They are impatient, and they will totally lie to their patients and tell them they just will not be able to vaginally birth that baby, and it must be cut out of them.  Who knows, maybe the OBs actually believe that.  But it is a load of crap.

There are legitimate reasons - health reasons, for both me and the baby - that I want an "ideal pregnancy and birth experience."  I am a very knowledgable, educated person, not an idiot who doesn't know what she's talking about.  

A midwife will continue to check on my previa, so that if I do have a c-section, I will know that it is absolutely necessary.  An OB might look at the 28 week ultrasound, and if I still had marginal previa, he would just schedule a section, even though there would still be time for my placenta to move out of the way as my uterus expands, and even though when you only have marginal previa, doing a trial of labour - in a hospital - would be a safer option than a c-section.

(Many) OBs are bossy.  They are bullies.  Often, they really don't give a crap about what you want.  

My midwife actually cares about what I want.  She knows I want a natural home birth, and she is going to do her best to help me get it (as long as it is safe for me and the baby).  She is not going to send me over to an OB for something that is very easy for us to keep an eye on right now.  I do not want to be sent to an OB right now, because as I said, there is absolutely nothing that an OB can do for me right now that my midwife can't do.  How would a 5 minute appointment with an OB, who would hardly tell me anything, be better for me than 45 minute appointments with my midwife where we carefully look over every report and discuss every option and then decide on the best course to take?

It wouldn't be better for me.  That's the long and the short of it.  Like I said, there is absolutely nothing that an OB can do right now that my midwife can't do.  If the previa persists until the end of my pregnancy, and a c-section is necessary, my care will be transferred to an OB.  But that is a worst-case scenario.  And yes, for me, that is a worst-case scenario.  I have done a ton of research, and I have experienced an entire pregnancy with an obstetrician.  I choose not to go that route again unless it is 100% medically necessary.

If you had an OB and you loved your experience, I am happy for you.  Mine was okay, but in the end, it is not what I want for myself or my baby this time around.  I do not want a paternalistic doctor telling me what will or will not happen, laughing at me when I bring in a birth plan, inducing me for a less-than-great medical reason, giving me an episiotomy when I expressly stated I did not want one (and I did not NEED one), cutting my baby's cord before he was even placed on my chest even though I expressly stated I wanted to wait, and holding my screaming child who had just been born upside down by the ankles instead of kindly giving him to me.

There are hundreds of other reasons I want a midwife.  But the bottom line is that I feel that I am in better care with my midwife than I would be with an OB.  I am fully informed about what is going on with my body and my baby, and I have much more control over what is going to be done throughout this pregnancy.  I am not placing myself or my baby at risk by having a midwife.  I firmly believe (and the statistics support this belief), that I am in a much better position and at much lower risk because I have a midwife.

More Ultrasounds

I had my midwife appointment this morning.  Things are fine, but I'm going for another ultrasound next Thursday.

I should probably do a brief background here.  At my 7 week ultrasound I was told I had ovarian cysts and an "implantation bleed."  No other information about those things.

At my 9 week midwife appointment my RE's office still hadn't sent them my 7 week ultrasound report.

At 13 weeks I went for another ultrasound.

Fast forward to my 14 week midwife appointment.  She had received my 7 week ultrasound, but not my 13 week ultrasound, even though it'd been a week and a half.  We discussed the minor amount of spotting I'd been having since 9 weeks (just scant, brown spotting about 4 times a week).  We weren't really worried.

Fast forward to my 18 week appointment, the day before my 18 week ultrasound.  Christine, my midwife, STILL didn't have my 13 week ultrasound report, despite numerous requests for it.  I had still been spotting, and we looked at my 7 week ultrasound report in detail (as much detail as you can when it's a very undetailed report).  It said I had those cysts, a subchorionic hematoma (which was actually what the "implantation bleed" was, I have no idea why the stupid doctor - not my RE - dumbed it down instead of calling it what it was), and a uterine fibroid - which was never mentioned to me.

At my 18 week ultrasound I specifically requested that the tech look at and report on the presence or lack of presence of the subchorionic hematoma, cysts, and fibroid.

At 20 weeks Christine received my 13 week u/s, but not yet my 18 week one.  The 13 week u/s was useless - said nothing about the SH, cysts, or fibroid.

This past Monday (almost 22 weeks), my midwives' office had STILL not received my 18 week ultrasound.  I called the RE and made them send it.

So today was anothe rmidwife appointment, 22 weeks.  The ultrasound report from my RE's office seemed very... vague.  Again.  There is nothing wrong with the baby, but even though I requested an update on the SH, cysts, and fibroid, we did not get one.

What we did get was a very brief mention of the fact that I have marginal placenta previa.  Awesome.  From what I understand, as my uterus grows the previa should clear up.  But we don't have any information other than "marginal placenta previa."

The spotting has continued from 9 weeks until my current 22 weeks.  We're now pretty sure it's because of the previa, but we would still like an update on the hematoma, since that could be causing spotting, too.  It's quite possible it resolved itself, but we would like that to actually appear in a report!  Not mentioning something makes it seem like it's been missed or overlooked.  We would also like a little more information on the previa!

Apparently my RE's office needs to stick to getting people pregnant, not doing prenatal ultrasounds.  Seriously, you should see the reports.  Where I live, ultrasound reports are a page of typed information, organized into paragraphs.  Specific information is addressed.  The reports from my RE's office are forms with handwritten checks on them.  Heart?  Check.  Kidneys?  Check.  Bladder?  Check.  If there is any specific information to add, they do it by hand.  Therefore, it is quite often illegible due to handwriting and short form.

If the previa hasn't cleared up by next Thursday, I'll be going for another ultrasound around 28-30 weeks.  The very last thing I want is an OB transfer and a c-section, so it better clear up!

This is annoying.


(Edited to add: my ultrasounds form here on out will be done at the hospital, not at the RE.  I didn't realize I hadn't made that clear).

22 Weeks

How far along: 22 weeks

Stretch marks?: None appearing on my belly, but some old stretch marks in other places are extending somewhat.  I don't want to talk about it.

Sleep: Right after my last update at 18 weeks my hip bones started to really hurt at night, which was causing awful sleep.  I had this with Noah, too.  Also, because of my PSD (painful pubic bone separation) flipping over in bed is very painful, and it's much worse when I have to maneuver my pillows over top of my body to the other side.  I've been rubbing Traumeel cream (a homeopathic remedy) on my hips on a daily basis and added an extra pillow between my legs, and that has really helped the hip pain (I had 2 between my legs, now I have 3).  It actually also helps with the pubic bone a little bit, I think because my legs are spread further apart and it stops my pubic bone from being able to get incredibly out of alignment while I'm sleeping on my side.  I also arranged a set up so that I don't have to move pillows around at night.  I am using 10 pillows every night to sleep.  That's not 10 normal sized pillows either.  It's 4 king-sized pillows, 1 body pillow, and 5 normal sized pillows.

So the pillow arrangement helps with the pain.  Other than that, I am waking up about 10 times a night, and peeing 3 times.

Movement: I've been feeling it since about 12 weeks, and on the outside since 17 weeks 6 days.  After the 18 week mark the strength of the baby's movements grew by leaps and bounds.  By 20 weeks my belly was visibly dancing and the baby was kicking so hard it would sometimes actually startle me.  I wasn't experiencing that same strength of movement that early with Noah, so it's been fun.  I'm surprised with how much stronger movement feels so early the second time around.  And how I can already push the baby's body parts around in my belly.  I don't remember being able to do that until I was at least a few weeks further along with Noah.

Best moments this week/month: I can't think of one specific thing.  Noah seems to be more restless these days so we've been getting out of the house a lot, which is good for both of us.  We went strawberry picking today, and that was lots of fun for my strawberry-obsessed Noah!  He is also fully potty trained now (at 26 months), except for when he's sleeping, and that is a very welcome recent development in our household!

Food cravings: Jam.  That seems weird, but the past few days I have been craving jam like nobody's business.  But not just any jam, President's Choice Blue Menu Strawberry Jam.  It's the best jam ever - tastes just like the jam my Beppe (Grandma) used to make.

Sex: A baby boy!!

Labor signs?: Lots of braxton hicks and crampiness.  I had many BH all throughout my first pregnancy, too.  I also just checked my cervix recently (out of curiosity, not because I think I'm going into labour anytime soon), and it must be because I'm a second time mom with a previous vaginal delivery, but it is not at all "closed"!  There is more than enough room for 2 fingers in there.  I thought that was weird.

New Symptoms: I haven't been able to exercise much for the past 3 weeks because it just causes so much pain.  I'm starting to feel that I've lost some of the ground I gained when I was exercising daily, in that I get more easily winded.  I guess I decided that I'd rather feel out of shape than have increased pain.

Belly Button: Fully popped.

What I miss the most: I still miss eating whatever I wanted and being skinny, regardless.

What I am looking forward to the most: Right now, at this moment?  Labour and giving birth.  I've been reading a lot of hypnobirthing/Hypnobabies/Ina May Gaskin/homebirthing stuff, and I am starting to get really antsy to get this show on the road.  That sucks, because I am 22 weeks pregnant and have 4 months until my due date!  I am just really looking forward to a home birth this time around, and right now I am not feeling at all patient!

If I'm just picking something closer in the future, I am looking forward to my midwife appointment on Thursday.  Not because they're particularly eventful; just because I like her.  And I'll finally get to find out the results from my 18 week ultrasound (which my midwives still had not received from my RE's office yesterday, so I had to call them and make them fax over the report).  If we're not satisfied with the non-information my clinic is giving us about my subchorionic hematoma, ovarian cysts, and mystery fibroid which I knew nothing about, then I might consent to another ultrasound in my community.  I don't know, though.  My midwife was willing to send me for one two weeks ago but I decided to wait and see.  I haven't decided if I actually want another one.

Milestones: At 22 weeks, I'm more than halfway!

Alright, picture time.  I thought I was starting to look more reasonable for my gestation, but apparently others disagree.  I am frequently involved in conversations with people who just can't believe I'm "only" 22 weeks along.

I am bigger than I was last time.  Just for fun, this is me 23 weeks pregnant with Noah (sorry, I'm facing a different direction in all of my pictures from my first pregnancy, and the pictures are much closer up, which makes the belly appear similar in size, but if you really compare them there is a definite difference):

The second picture is definitely a smaller belly, and I'm 1 week further along in it.

The End.

After Bath...

Crib Issues Solved... For Now

Yesterday I posted about how Noah just learned how to get out of his crib: by somersaulting over the railing - HEAD FIRST.  

Every time I put him in his crib and he didn't want to be in there, he did this.  So we were going to have to move to a big boy bed.  We had the whole thing set up - crib railing off, queen mattress on the floor beside the open-sided crib, a baby gate adjusted to fit his doorway... but I was totally sick to my stomach over it.  I knew Noah was nowhere near ready to sleep outside of a crib.  Not. Even. Close.  I knew that the night would involve a lot of hysterical screaming while standing at the gate in his doorway, and next to no sleep would occur.

Lest you think that I am just "in denial," and that it's just me who isn't ready for the "big boy bed" step (like someone on Facebook - who doesn't even know my child - suggested), let me tell you that all evening Noah was saying that sleeping on his new bed was going to be scary.  I was lying on the bed with him and turned out the lights and turned on the fan, and he told me right away it was too scary.  He loved having that big mattress on his floor so he could do gymnastics and jump around on it, but he didn't want to have to sleep on it.

It was pretty clear this was not going to work. But at the last minute - literally Noah was sitting on my bed in his pajamas playing on my iPod waiting to nurse - I found a solution that had bought us some more time. 

We took the crib support out of the crib, put the rail back on, and put the new baby's crib mattress under Noah's crib mattress inside of the crib. This way the top of the mattress is lower than before. We also took off the bumper pad on the outside of the crib. We have the breathable bumpers, which are "collapsible," but even when they collapsed they were giving Noah an extra inch of height.

We kept the queen mattress on the floor outside of his crib, so if he does manage to dive out head first again (even though the crib railing is now at his neck instead of under his chest), hopefully he won't break his neck.

He was passed out before I even got him in his crib last night.  And I got him right when he woke up in the morning.  He didn't have a chance to attempt to climb out, so I wasn't sure if he would do it.  We're going through a chillier spell right now, so for nap time today I put him in a sleep sack.  He cried (which he never does at nap anymore) and tried to climb out, but quickly realized he wouldn't be able to and went to sleep for 40 minutes.  Tonight he is in a sleep sack again, but he was tired so he didn't bother trying to get out.

I think I've bought us some more time with the crib.  The sleep sack gives me an extra feeling of security, but it's fleece, and he can't wear it when our house is 75 degrees.  I'm going to try to find someone who can make me a couple of light cotton sleep sacks.  Noah is about 37 inches tall, so it's not like I can find them in the stores!

(Side note/rant: what is with people on Facebook trying to tell me what is going on with my own kid when obviously no one in the world knows him better than I do??  This has happened on several occasions now. Just because YOUR kid did well in a big boy bed at 18 months old when he started escaping his crib doesn't mean MY 26 month old will.  Every kid is different!  And I am certainly not "ignoring my kid's cues"... just because a toddler can escape from his crib doesn't mean that he is ready to be able to wander around his room and house at night.  Don't presume to know what is best for MY kid.  If he tells me he is scared of not being in his crib, I'm pretty sure that's a freaking "cue" that he isn't ready for that step!  Don't imply to me that I don't have good parenting instincts and can't follow my kid's lead - I have freaking amazing parenting instincts.  I am very in tune with my child, and I bend over backwards each and every day to make the best possible decisions concerning him.  So bite me.)