Remember my post a couple of days ago, about everything I had accidentally procrastinated on? I was particularly stressed when I discovered I had forgotten to renew our license plate stickers, but couldn't do it until Monday. I was praying we wouldn't get caught for it before I could renew them. We had made it a month so far, a couple of more days seemed reasonable.
Um, no.
Yesterday we were driving to church. Late, because Noah pooped right when we needed to leave. Justin was driving 80 in a 60 (this is km, not miles). If you're driving 15-18 over, you would rarely ever get pulled over. I wasn't paying attention to how fast he was driving, or I would have told him to slow down a few km.
I looked up and saw a police car. I said "Oh, there's a cop!" He immediately braked, but said "I'm going to get pulled over." I asked how fast he was going, he said 80. Sure enough, the cop pulled out and pulled us over.
Of course, our hearts were in our feet, as usual when you get pulled over.
Justin, who almost never speeds, has been pulled over twice in like 3 months. For speeding. Which he almost never does. I am more of a speeder than him and I have never been pulled over while speeding. I've never been pulled over, period. Something is wrong with this picture.
Anyway, at the moment I was just praying he wouldn't get a speeding ticket, which we couldn't afford right now, and which would raise our insurance rates. I wasn't even thinking about the expired license plate tags. But the officer noticed, of course. He seemed nice, but I totally felt like we were lying when we told him we were late for church (what a perfect excuse on Sunday morning, right?), and then that I had JUST found out that our tags were expired the day before, and I had been planning on renewing them on Monday. Both of those things were 100% the truth, but seriously, they sounded like lies.
Then I couldn't find the right insurance slip. Everything I could find was expired and from our old company. I was freaking out thinking "Oh great, Justin's speeding, our tags are expired, and we don't have proof of valid insurance. We are for sure getting nailed for all this. And church started 5 minutes ago. And Noah is upset in the back seat. And I'm so nervous I have to go to the bathroom. Could this get any worse?"
Thankfully Justin found the insurance slip in a different place.
The officer spent a lot of time in his car, so we knew we were going to get something. We did. But thankfully it was the best case scenario for getting something. No speeding ticket, just a warning (like last time, thankfully). And we did get a ticket for the expired tags, but as long as I renew them within 3 days (2 days, now) and go into the station with proof, the ticket will go away.
I thanked the officer profusely, apologizing and telling him that I am pregnant and I've been forgetting everything. Again, after I said it it sounded like a lie to me, but it's completely the truth!
So today I'm off to renew our license plate stickers. Exactly what I want to do in the rain with a 2 year old. Hopefully there's no line up.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
What the Heck, Self.
Apparently 2012 is the year of disorganization and accidental procrastination. This is not like me! Here is a list of things I have accidentally procrastinated on:
- Paying my March bills... which made me actually pay bills LATE, which I had never done before!
-Renewing Noah's health card. I haven't been able to take Noah to the doctor for his 2 year checkup because I completely forgot to renew his health card. I got the paper about 8-10 weeks before his health card expired, but I thought "I have plenty of time," so I put it in a drawer and completely forgot about it until about 2 weeks AFTER his birthday. Yeah. Good mom, right? I still don't have his new health card.
-Renewing our license plate stickers. Again, I got the slip for it a couple of months ago and put it in a drawer, thinking I'd get Justin to do it. But I completely forgot until I found the form today. And our license plate stickers expired on March 30. The form is no longer valid, and I'm guessing we'll have to pay an extra fee because we are a month late renewing the stickers. We can't do this until Monday, since the offices aren't open on weekends. In the meantime, now that I am aware of this, I am praying I don't get noticed by a cop and given a ticket for having expired plates.
-Filing our taxes. Normally whenever we get a slip we need for our taxes I put it in a file folder labeled "2010 taxes" (or whatever year it was for). Did I do that this year? No. So I was scrambling around my house this morning trying to find all the proper slips. And I didn't find all of them. I was missing one that was fairly minor (like $50 of interest made on a savings account). Thankfully I remembered to do our taxes today, since they're due on Monday. Justin is gone all day to a track meet, of course, so I had to file our taxes while Noah was trying to talk to me and get me to make numbers out of playdoh. It was very distracting until I managed to get him interested in his train tracks, a banana, and a TV show.
I am feeling kind of frazzled right now. I'll feel better when I finally have Noah's health card, and when our license plate stickers are renewed. And after I clean up my house, which is a total disaster right now since I've been neglecting Noah all morning while filing my taxes.
- Paying my March bills... which made me actually pay bills LATE, which I had never done before!
-Renewing Noah's health card. I haven't been able to take Noah to the doctor for his 2 year checkup because I completely forgot to renew his health card. I got the paper about 8-10 weeks before his health card expired, but I thought "I have plenty of time," so I put it in a drawer and completely forgot about it until about 2 weeks AFTER his birthday. Yeah. Good mom, right? I still don't have his new health card.
-Renewing our license plate stickers. Again, I got the slip for it a couple of months ago and put it in a drawer, thinking I'd get Justin to do it. But I completely forgot until I found the form today. And our license plate stickers expired on March 30. The form is no longer valid, and I'm guessing we'll have to pay an extra fee because we are a month late renewing the stickers. We can't do this until Monday, since the offices aren't open on weekends. In the meantime, now that I am aware of this, I am praying I don't get noticed by a cop and given a ticket for having expired plates.
-Filing our taxes. Normally whenever we get a slip we need for our taxes I put it in a file folder labeled "2010 taxes" (or whatever year it was for). Did I do that this year? No. So I was scrambling around my house this morning trying to find all the proper slips. And I didn't find all of them. I was missing one that was fairly minor (like $50 of interest made on a savings account). Thankfully I remembered to do our taxes today, since they're due on Monday. Justin is gone all day to a track meet, of course, so I had to file our taxes while Noah was trying to talk to me and get me to make numbers out of playdoh. It was very distracting until I managed to get him interested in his train tracks, a banana, and a TV show.
I am feeling kind of frazzled right now. I'll feel better when I finally have Noah's health card, and when our license plate stickers are renewed. And after I clean up my house, which is a total disaster right now since I've been neglecting Noah all morning while filing my taxes.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Epic Fail Haircut
Since he turned 2, Noah has developed an EXTREME aversion to getting his hair cut. He has had his haircut - by me - pretty much monthly since he was 3 months old and has been totally fine. But the last one was brutal, with him screaming his head off. I waited as long as I could before doing it again, but honestly, his hair looks terrible as soon as it gets longer than an inch.
I had high hopes that doing it in front of his favourite TV show while giving him his very first lollipop as a distraction would solve all of our problems.
Ummmm.... no.
Epic fail.
I'm sure the neighbours could hear him and thought we were beating him to death.
Plus he couldn't care less about the stupid lollipop. I guess my whole "Don't give him any sweets at all until after he turns 2 so he won't be a kid who will only eat cookies, candy, and brownies like his older cousin" thing worked. He seriously didn't want the lollipop.
Strawberries got his attention, but he continued to scream bloody murder in between bites. I actually burst out laughing at one point. He would be screaming, then he'd stop to put a strawberry in his mouth, and then he'd throw his head back and scream again. With the strawberry still in his mouth.
It probably sounds like it was a temper tantrum, but it wasn't. He was seriously distressed. As soon as I turned on the clippers his whole body got tense and he started sweating and crying. Poor kid. I felt terrible. I'm really not sure what to do next time. I cut it shorter than it's ever been (3/8 of an inch), so hopefully we can make it to 2 months before I have to give him another cut. Usually he needs one after a month. Seriously, his hair just grows so fast. And I am not a fan of long, thin, straight hair on a boy. Some kids can pull it off if it's thick enough and falls nicely, but Noah doesn't have that kind of hair!
I had high hopes that doing it in front of his favourite TV show while giving him his very first lollipop as a distraction would solve all of our problems.
Ummmm.... no.
Epic fail.
I'm sure the neighbours could hear him and thought we were beating him to death.
Plus he couldn't care less about the stupid lollipop. I guess my whole "Don't give him any sweets at all until after he turns 2 so he won't be a kid who will only eat cookies, candy, and brownies like his older cousin" thing worked. He seriously didn't want the lollipop.
Strawberries got his attention, but he continued to scream bloody murder in between bites. I actually burst out laughing at one point. He would be screaming, then he'd stop to put a strawberry in his mouth, and then he'd throw his head back and scream again. With the strawberry still in his mouth.
It probably sounds like it was a temper tantrum, but it wasn't. He was seriously distressed. As soon as I turned on the clippers his whole body got tense and he started sweating and crying. Poor kid. I felt terrible. I'm really not sure what to do next time. I cut it shorter than it's ever been (3/8 of an inch), so hopefully we can make it to 2 months before I have to give him another cut. Usually he needs one after a month. Seriously, his hair just grows so fast. And I am not a fan of long, thin, straight hair on a boy. Some kids can pull it off if it's thick enough and falls nicely, but Noah doesn't have that kind of hair!
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Good News
A little while ago I posted about some crappy stuff that was going on in our family. All of that stuff is still true, except for one thing. Things are looking good for Justin keeping his teaching job at the high school 2 minutes from where we live, where he's been teaching for the past 4 years!
Things were looking really bad for awhile. We know people who attend the staffing meetings between the principals of the high schools in the board, so we knew some of what was going on. The school really didn't have the lines (course funding) to keep Justin, or the 4 people underneath him. The principal was trying to figure out a way to keep Justin, though. He was trying to get another teacher at the school (who is above Justin in seniority) to work halftime on board assignment, and halftime at the school. Then he was trying to get funding for another line or two, all so he could just keep Justin. That was a very iffy option, though.
However, in the most recent staffing meeting, a principal from a high school in the city where we grew up, 25 minutes away, was trying desperately to get Justin transferred to his school. He had come up with 4 different scenarios where the end result was that he would get Justin there. That really lit a fire under Justin's principal's ass, and I believe he talked a potential retiree into actually retiring after this school year. That teacher actually talked to Justin and told him he would be doing that, so this should make Justin's position at the school safe (although they're still losing the 4 people underneath him).
In case you're wondering why principals are fighting over my husband in the staffing meetings - it's because he's a catch. He is a great teacher. All of the students adore him. The girls are all in love with him, and the boys all want to BE him. He is very well liked, very good at his actual job of teaching, and is hugely involved in extracurricular activities (all athletic, of course).
This is a relief. It would have been okay if he got transferred to that other high school. That is where I would rather be living, closer to my parents, but we never will with Justin teaching out here. So really, it wouldn't have been all bad. However, like I mentioned before, we put a pool in last summer because of the fact that we were never going to move (or not for a really long time). So the idea of actually needing (and wanting) to move because of being transferred was not well received by us, especially so soon after spending almost all our savings on putting in a pool.
In other good news, my body seems to have adjusted to the smaller quantity of food I've been eating. It only took a week! Probably less, actually. My eyes haven't adjusted yet, though. I still look at what I'm eating and think "Seriously, that's a "serving"? I want two or three times that!" But I am satisfied by the end of my meal, and my stomach no longer feels deprived. There have actually been a few meals that I have had to give a third of my food to Justin, because I was already full.
I've also been really good about exercising everyday. According to my calorie tracking app, I should have lost a pound this week, and I'm pretty sure I have (this is okay, trust me; I have gained far more than I should have so far, and I'm eating incredibly nutritiously, so my baby is not starving!). I need to go out and buy a digital bathroom scale, though. My scale is terrible for accuracy. I've known this for a long time, but it didn't really matter because as long as I was hanging around a certain area and my clothes fit, I was fine. But being pregnant, I'd like to be able to keep a closer eye on things with some accuracy, and not just rely on monthly midwife visits.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Things I Don't Want to Forget
-Like all toddlers, Noah is constantly coming up with phrases and sentences and I have no idea where he heard them from. A couple of days ago we were grocery shopping and I asked him to hand me something from the cart. After he handed it to me I said "Thank you, Noah," absentmindedly. He proceeded to say, "You're very welcome! You're very welcome, Mommy!" over and over. I had to laugh. I know why he says, "You're welcome," but I have no idea where he got the "very" from.
-On that same grocery trip he was saying "Oh my. Oh my. Oh goodness. Oh shoot." while we were walking down one of the aisles.
-Today we were at a birthday party for a friend of ours who turned 30. When we told Noah we were going to a birthday party he immediately said, "I wanna blow out candles!" Then the whole time we were at the party he kept telling me he wanted to blow out candles. When it came time for Laura to blow out her candles, she asked if Noah wanted to help. He was so happy. After they blew them out he had this big proud smile on his face, and said "We did it!" Then he told everyone who would listen, "I blow out candles!"
-My formerly shy son has turned into Mr. Sociable. Every time someone comes to our house, he wants them to play with him. We had an electrician over for about 5 hours on Tuesday, and he was just dying for the guy to play with him. On Friday Justin had a new client in the gym, a woman, and when we got back from our walk Noah got out of the stroller and walked right up to the lady, bent down (she was on her hands and knees) and kept asking her, "Where are the bubbles??? Where are the bubbles?? Let's blow bubbles!!" He did not want to go outside and leave the nice lady. He doesn't seem to want to accept that not everybody who comes to our door is here for a playdate with him!
-For awhile now, every time I put Noah to bed, for nap or night time, I nurse him and then carry him to his room. While I'm carrying him the conversation goes like this: "Noah: "Pup?" Me: "Yes." Noah: "Scout?" Me: "Yes." Noah: "Blanket?" Me: "Yes." Noah: "Water?" Me: "Yes." I lay him down, tell him I love him and to have a good sleep, then I walk toward the door. Every single time, without fail, he says "Wait, wait, WAIT! Wait, Mommy!" I never go back to him anymore though. I used to, but he would just look at me and then ask me to leave. He never actually wants anything. He just feels like he HAS to ask me to wait. I think it's very cute, but it also makes me feel kind of crappy every time, because he's asking me to wait and I just have to ignore it!
-We almost never get pictures of the two of us. Besides some extremely crappy pictures we got on his birthday, it's been since August since Noah and I have appeared in a picture together. Justin sucks at using our camera (sorry, I love him, but it's true. I have taught him a billion times how to focus on the subject, but still 95% of the pictures he takes are blurry), so these are the only halfway decent pictures he took today (I wanted a picture of Noah's cute hair):
-On that same grocery trip he was saying "Oh my. Oh my. Oh goodness. Oh shoot." while we were walking down one of the aisles.
-Today we were at a birthday party for a friend of ours who turned 30. When we told Noah we were going to a birthday party he immediately said, "I wanna blow out candles!" Then the whole time we were at the party he kept telling me he wanted to blow out candles. When it came time for Laura to blow out her candles, she asked if Noah wanted to help. He was so happy. After they blew them out he had this big proud smile on his face, and said "We did it!" Then he told everyone who would listen, "I blow out candles!"
-My formerly shy son has turned into Mr. Sociable. Every time someone comes to our house, he wants them to play with him. We had an electrician over for about 5 hours on Tuesday, and he was just dying for the guy to play with him. On Friday Justin had a new client in the gym, a woman, and when we got back from our walk Noah got out of the stroller and walked right up to the lady, bent down (she was on her hands and knees) and kept asking her, "Where are the bubbles??? Where are the bubbles?? Let's blow bubbles!!" He did not want to go outside and leave the nice lady. He doesn't seem to want to accept that not everybody who comes to our door is here for a playdate with him!
-For awhile now, every time I put Noah to bed, for nap or night time, I nurse him and then carry him to his room. While I'm carrying him the conversation goes like this: "Noah: "Pup?" Me: "Yes." Noah: "Scout?" Me: "Yes." Noah: "Blanket?" Me: "Yes." Noah: "Water?" Me: "Yes." I lay him down, tell him I love him and to have a good sleep, then I walk toward the door. Every single time, without fail, he says "Wait, wait, WAIT! Wait, Mommy!" I never go back to him anymore though. I used to, but he would just look at me and then ask me to leave. He never actually wants anything. He just feels like he HAS to ask me to wait. I think it's very cute, but it also makes me feel kind of crappy every time, because he's asking me to wait and I just have to ignore it!
-We almost never get pictures of the two of us. Besides some extremely crappy pictures we got on his birthday, it's been since August since Noah and I have appeared in a picture together. Justin sucks at using our camera (sorry, I love him, but it's true. I have taught him a billion times how to focus on the subject, but still 95% of the pictures he takes are blurry), so these are the only halfway decent pictures he took today (I wanted a picture of Noah's cute hair):
I swear, we didn't tell him to do this. He's just that sweet:
(I chopped about 8 inches off my hair earlier this week while my Mom babysat... Man it felt good!)
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
15 Weeks
I'm 15 weeks now. Second trimester is well established, and my body can tell. I'm feeling pretty good. Of course, I'm comparing this to my first hand knowledge of what pregnancy can really feel like, not to how I feel when I'm not pregnant. So it's all very relative!
I'm down to just taking two Diclectin at night (which work for the morning) for the nausea, but I'm thinking I might try cutting that down to 1 pretty soon, because I have very little nausea anymore. Funny, I seem to remember it hanging on longer with Noah.
I've had a belly for long enough now (seriously, I had one already at 4 weeks) that I've adjusted to the fact that my belly gets in the way, and it's just my new normal. I was really annoyed at already having to deal with a "pregnant body" in my early first trimester, but now it's just normal to me. I'm over it.
My uterus is at my belly button. When I wake up in the morning it's actually a good inch above my belly button. I would love to know why it's so big, but probably never will.
(Can you see that my belly button is partially poking out? It's been doing that for many many weeks now.)
Bambino is getting fairly active! I started feeling him/her off and on, very faint and fluttery, around 12 weeks. But the past week or so (especially yesterday) there has been no doubt. Yesterday s/he was kicking up a storm, all day long it seemed! A totally different feeling than it will be 10 weeks from now, but still very obviously the baby. Today s/he has been calmer, but I have felt and noticed probably about 15-20 soft jabs throughout the day. It's neat.
The insane hunger has lessened. Although after my crazy weight gain during the first trimester, I am now seriously watching what I'm eating. So I am just as hungry, if not hungrier, as my body adjusts to eating pretty much half of what I was eating before. Because for the past 2 years I've been able to eat whatever I wanted and was still the skinniest my body can even allow me to be (as a nearly 5'10" woman), I had no memory of how much food I really should be taking in. I'm not saying I pigged out all the time for the past 2 years, but I certainly wasn't concerned about portion sizes or my calorie count for the day. If I wanted to eat something, I would eat it. I never gained any weight, so why deprive myself?
Well, I needed a serious reality check, so I downloaded the Lose It app for my iPod. I have been tracking every bite I eat. It's amazing how keeping track of everything that goes into your mouth really makes you make yourself eat much healthier choices, and much less food. I have been eating sooo clean. Mostly fruit, vegetables, yogurt, and lean meats, with just a couple of slices of bread throughout the day. I am getting a ton of nutrients, but way less calories. It's hard though. I can't wait for my body to adjust to eating less, because I pretty much think about food all day long at this point.
I am also making more of a point to exercise, now that I'm feeling more human. Before now I would play outside with Noah, take him on walks, and obviously spend tons of time cleaning my house. But I am making a point of being active everyday now, instead of just when it happens to happen.
To be honest, the largest part of my motivation to eat super healthy and exercise is my desire to avoid any complications that could get in the way of me having a homebirth. I know that it's not all in my control, but I don't want to get to the end of my pregnancy and wonder if there was something I could have done differently that would have allowed me to have the birth I wanted to have (and didn't get with Noah). Plus, I was in such excruciating pain when I was pregnant with Noah, I just want to do anything possible to maybe avoid that this time. I expect to get more uncomfortable as time goes on, but I'm hoping to not be CRIPPLED this time!
I should probably start doing the "pregnancy survey" instead of these random updates. Sometimes I find them limiting and repetitive, though. Maybe next time!
I'm down to just taking two Diclectin at night (which work for the morning) for the nausea, but I'm thinking I might try cutting that down to 1 pretty soon, because I have very little nausea anymore. Funny, I seem to remember it hanging on longer with Noah.
I've had a belly for long enough now (seriously, I had one already at 4 weeks) that I've adjusted to the fact that my belly gets in the way, and it's just my new normal. I was really annoyed at already having to deal with a "pregnant body" in my early first trimester, but now it's just normal to me. I'm over it.
My uterus is at my belly button. When I wake up in the morning it's actually a good inch above my belly button. I would love to know why it's so big, but probably never will.
(Can you see that my belly button is partially poking out? It's been doing that for many many weeks now.)
Bambino is getting fairly active! I started feeling him/her off and on, very faint and fluttery, around 12 weeks. But the past week or so (especially yesterday) there has been no doubt. Yesterday s/he was kicking up a storm, all day long it seemed! A totally different feeling than it will be 10 weeks from now, but still very obviously the baby. Today s/he has been calmer, but I have felt and noticed probably about 15-20 soft jabs throughout the day. It's neat.
The insane hunger has lessened. Although after my crazy weight gain during the first trimester, I am now seriously watching what I'm eating. So I am just as hungry, if not hungrier, as my body adjusts to eating pretty much half of what I was eating before. Because for the past 2 years I've been able to eat whatever I wanted and was still the skinniest my body can even allow me to be (as a nearly 5'10" woman), I had no memory of how much food I really should be taking in. I'm not saying I pigged out all the time for the past 2 years, but I certainly wasn't concerned about portion sizes or my calorie count for the day. If I wanted to eat something, I would eat it. I never gained any weight, so why deprive myself?
Well, I needed a serious reality check, so I downloaded the Lose It app for my iPod. I have been tracking every bite I eat. It's amazing how keeping track of everything that goes into your mouth really makes you make yourself eat much healthier choices, and much less food. I have been eating sooo clean. Mostly fruit, vegetables, yogurt, and lean meats, with just a couple of slices of bread throughout the day. I am getting a ton of nutrients, but way less calories. It's hard though. I can't wait for my body to adjust to eating less, because I pretty much think about food all day long at this point.
I am also making more of a point to exercise, now that I'm feeling more human. Before now I would play outside with Noah, take him on walks, and obviously spend tons of time cleaning my house. But I am making a point of being active everyday now, instead of just when it happens to happen.
To be honest, the largest part of my motivation to eat super healthy and exercise is my desire to avoid any complications that could get in the way of me having a homebirth. I know that it's not all in my control, but I don't want to get to the end of my pregnancy and wonder if there was something I could have done differently that would have allowed me to have the birth I wanted to have (and didn't get with Noah). Plus, I was in such excruciating pain when I was pregnant with Noah, I just want to do anything possible to maybe avoid that this time. I expect to get more uncomfortable as time goes on, but I'm hoping to not be CRIPPLED this time!
I should probably start doing the "pregnancy survey" instead of these random updates. Sometimes I find them limiting and repetitive, though. Maybe next time!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Second Midwife Appointment
I never posted about my first one 5 weeks ago, but my second midwife appointment was yesterday.
I love having a midwife. I had an OB last time, and I knew him pretty well, and it was fine, but it wasn't really the experience I was going for. Besides the hospital birth, induction, and episiotomy that I didn't want, my OB was too paternalistic. Never wanted to answer questions. I saw him for a max of 5 minutes at each appointment. It was: go in, nurse does blood pressure, weight, and urine. OB checks heart rate and size of uterus, looks at any test results really fast, and then says "SEE YA!" He would never even tell me what the heart rate was or what my uterus was measuring unless I asked him. And he basically made fun of me when I brought him my birth plan.
The midwives discuss EVERYTHING with you. Appointments are 30-45 minutes, rather than 5. They actually give a crap, and it's almost impossible to leave an appointment feeling like you missed talking about something, since they literally bring up every aspect of your pregnancy at each appointment. Listening to the heartbeat yesterday (which I do with my own doppler nearly every day), my midwife was acting all excited for me like it was the first heartbeat she'd ever heard. I thought that was so nice. Plus there are lots of toys there for the kids, and she lets Noah play with her stethoscope the whole time. He likes that :)
I managed to shock my midwife with the size of my uterus. It measures 6 weeks ahead (already at my belly button). Even though she knew better (she knows we did fertility treatments and that I've already had two ultrasounds), she still felt the need to ask whether I had two babies in there, and if we were sure about my dates. I found it kind of funny. All I could tell her is that my uterus grows at warp speed when I am pregnant. It makes no sense, and I'd like to know why, but it just is what it is.
We discussed a little bit about home birth, because that's what I would really like to do this time. She said I'm a good candidate, but she'd like to talk more about it when we have more time and when my husband is there, since he has some reservations. He will go along with what I want to do, but she does want both of us to feel comfortable with it. I'll be talking more about this in the future, I'm sure.
My blood pressure was nice and low. 105/58. Last time it was 95/58.
My weight is disturbingly high. I can't understand what is going on with my body. I am not even going to talk numbers, because I am embarrassed. But unless their scale is drastically off, I have seriously already gained what I should have gained during the whole pregnancy. I weighed more today than I weighed when I was 38 WEEKS PREGNANT with Noah. You can't really tell, and people think the rest of me still looks the same size and it's just my belly that is huge, but I am kind of freaking out. I can tell that I have gained weight, but even though I can tell a difference, I never would have expected that I would weigh this much already! I am eating the same amount I was eating when I was nursing with a full supply, but clearly my hormonal change (hormones have a lot more control over weight gain than most people know) and the fact that I'm not producing very much milk means I can't eat my normal amount. But I have been STARVING through my first trimester, so I don't know how I can eat less. I'm still really hungry, but it isn't quite as extreme as it was before, so I will definitely be cutting back on how much and how often I eat. I will be very hungry, but seriously, this weight gain is freaking me out.
I am actually really thankful that I'm not with my old OB. I only gained 16 lbs between 8 weeks and 38 weeks with Noah, but most of it was gained at the beginning. And I DID gain a bunch of weight before 8 weeks, I just don't know how much. So this is not totally foreign to me (although my weight gain this time has been a lot more significant). But at one of my OB appointments I had gained 5 lbs (oh, I wish that was the case this time). I was around 25 weeks pregnant, and it had been 4.5 weeks since my last appointment. I gained 5 lbs. That's only half a pound more than you are SUPPOSED to gain, and your weight can fluctuate by up to 5 lbs in one DAY, but he gave me crap for "gaining too much weight". I seriously wanted to kick him in the balls. I am a thin person to begin with, so giving me crap for gaining 5lbs in 4.5 weeks in the second half of my pregnancy is ridiculous.
My midwife, on the other hand, did say "Oh, that is a jump..." but that might have been only because I was expressing concern. She definitely didn't give me heck about it. We talked about my theory on why this is happening (hormonal changes, no longer producing much breastmilk, starving all the time so eating the same amount I was eating when I was nursing full-time, etc). We talked about how I gained quickly at the beginning of my pregnancy with Noah, and then it really slowed down, and that that will hopefully happen this time. I think she could see that I was really freaked out by the whole thing, and she made sure to reassure me that weight gain is not the only indicator of a healthy pregnancy.
The weird thing is that the yoga pants I was wearing in the third trimester with Noah are much too big for me right now. When I look at my body and how my clothes fit, my body does not seem to match the number on the scale.
I'm having body image issues. I can only hope I will lose weight like I did after having Noah - 40lbs in 2 weeks without trying pretty much rocks.
I love having a midwife. I had an OB last time, and I knew him pretty well, and it was fine, but it wasn't really the experience I was going for. Besides the hospital birth, induction, and episiotomy that I didn't want, my OB was too paternalistic. Never wanted to answer questions. I saw him for a max of 5 minutes at each appointment. It was: go in, nurse does blood pressure, weight, and urine. OB checks heart rate and size of uterus, looks at any test results really fast, and then says "SEE YA!" He would never even tell me what the heart rate was or what my uterus was measuring unless I asked him. And he basically made fun of me when I brought him my birth plan.
The midwives discuss EVERYTHING with you. Appointments are 30-45 minutes, rather than 5. They actually give a crap, and it's almost impossible to leave an appointment feeling like you missed talking about something, since they literally bring up every aspect of your pregnancy at each appointment. Listening to the heartbeat yesterday (which I do with my own doppler nearly every day), my midwife was acting all excited for me like it was the first heartbeat she'd ever heard. I thought that was so nice. Plus there are lots of toys there for the kids, and she lets Noah play with her stethoscope the whole time. He likes that :)
I managed to shock my midwife with the size of my uterus. It measures 6 weeks ahead (already at my belly button). Even though she knew better (she knows we did fertility treatments and that I've already had two ultrasounds), she still felt the need to ask whether I had two babies in there, and if we were sure about my dates. I found it kind of funny. All I could tell her is that my uterus grows at warp speed when I am pregnant. It makes no sense, and I'd like to know why, but it just is what it is.
We discussed a little bit about home birth, because that's what I would really like to do this time. She said I'm a good candidate, but she'd like to talk more about it when we have more time and when my husband is there, since he has some reservations. He will go along with what I want to do, but she does want both of us to feel comfortable with it. I'll be talking more about this in the future, I'm sure.
My blood pressure was nice and low. 105/58. Last time it was 95/58.
My weight is disturbingly high. I can't understand what is going on with my body. I am not even going to talk numbers, because I am embarrassed. But unless their scale is drastically off, I have seriously already gained what I should have gained during the whole pregnancy. I weighed more today than I weighed when I was 38 WEEKS PREGNANT with Noah. You can't really tell, and people think the rest of me still looks the same size and it's just my belly that is huge, but I am kind of freaking out. I can tell that I have gained weight, but even though I can tell a difference, I never would have expected that I would weigh this much already! I am eating the same amount I was eating when I was nursing with a full supply, but clearly my hormonal change (hormones have a lot more control over weight gain than most people know) and the fact that I'm not producing very much milk means I can't eat my normal amount. But I have been STARVING through my first trimester, so I don't know how I can eat less. I'm still really hungry, but it isn't quite as extreme as it was before, so I will definitely be cutting back on how much and how often I eat. I will be very hungry, but seriously, this weight gain is freaking me out.
I am actually really thankful that I'm not with my old OB. I only gained 16 lbs between 8 weeks and 38 weeks with Noah, but most of it was gained at the beginning. And I DID gain a bunch of weight before 8 weeks, I just don't know how much. So this is not totally foreign to me (although my weight gain this time has been a lot more significant). But at one of my OB appointments I had gained 5 lbs (oh, I wish that was the case this time). I was around 25 weeks pregnant, and it had been 4.5 weeks since my last appointment. I gained 5 lbs. That's only half a pound more than you are SUPPOSED to gain, and your weight can fluctuate by up to 5 lbs in one DAY, but he gave me crap for "gaining too much weight". I seriously wanted to kick him in the balls. I am a thin person to begin with, so giving me crap for gaining 5lbs in 4.5 weeks in the second half of my pregnancy is ridiculous.
My midwife, on the other hand, did say "Oh, that is a jump..." but that might have been only because I was expressing concern. She definitely didn't give me heck about it. We talked about my theory on why this is happening (hormonal changes, no longer producing much breastmilk, starving all the time so eating the same amount I was eating when I was nursing full-time, etc). We talked about how I gained quickly at the beginning of my pregnancy with Noah, and then it really slowed down, and that that will hopefully happen this time. I think she could see that I was really freaked out by the whole thing, and she made sure to reassure me that weight gain is not the only indicator of a healthy pregnancy.
The weird thing is that the yoga pants I was wearing in the third trimester with Noah are much too big for me right now. When I look at my body and how my clothes fit, my body does not seem to match the number on the scale.
I'm having body image issues. I can only hope I will lose weight like I did after having Noah - 40lbs in 2 weeks without trying pretty much rocks.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
The Life of a Mom
I originally titled this post "The Life of a SAHM." But then I realized that working moms probably have the exact same problem, it's just not an "all day long" problem, it's an "everyday after work" problem.
Maybe some moms don't have this "problem" at all. If you don't... well, I don't want to hear from you! (I kid).
So, anybody with children, especially very mobile children, has probably made the observation that it is incredibly hard to keep the house tidy (nevermind clean) when you are home all day. This might seem counter-intuitive, because if you're home all day, you have all day to tidy and clean. But seriously, a toddler makes messes much faster than you can clean them up. At least MY toddler does! And I don't really have any desire to be walking from one room to another putting things in their proper places ALL DAY LONG. I would literally never be able to do anything else.
Probably one of our biggest problems is that we have an open concept house, and Noah is allowed to go anywhere. Sure, we gate off the stairs so he can't sneak downstairs while I'm cooking or showering. But other than that, there is no good way to keep him contained, and there never has been. He's been opening doors and walking through them since he was 12 months old, so things are constantly ending up where they don't belong. I always have random items, like stethoscopes, play dishes, play food, magnetic letters, and puzzles pieces in all the bedrooms and bathrooms (almost everyday when I'm in the shower Noah brings me a bowl of cut up wooden fruit and says "Here you go, Mommy!"). And things like toothpaste, tooth brushes, salad tongs, potato mashers, and mixing bowls end up on my living room couches. (Yes, those things are kept in drawers, but our drawers and counters are arranged so that it's no possible to install those latch thingies. I tried. I guess all our counters jut out too far.)
There aren't many things I miss about being childless. But a house that stays tidy for more than 2 minutes is definitely one of them! Even when my entire house is clean I feel like it isn't because it's so hard for it to stay tidy.
Today I had one of those days where I was cleaning, tidying, and doing laundry all day long, but I felt like I was walking on a treadmill - as in, I was doing these things, but felt like I wasn't moving forward because there were so many things still left to do! Vacuuming the whole house, cleaning both full bathrooms, washing the floors, stripping beds, washing/drying/folding 5 loads of laundry, unloading dishwasher, loading it back up, feeding the child several times, and constantly putting things back where they belong.
I am not even really complaining. I'm just stating facts. I am actually thankful. Noah is much more obedient than he was 8-10 months ago, and doesn't touch the things that he really shouldn't touch. So it's not like he's scattering the vitamins and medications from my bedside table throughout the house. He's not pulling clothes out of our drawers (like he did A LOT from about 9 to 15 months). If the lower kitchen cupboards are unlocked, it's not like I end up with unopened salad dressing and BBQ sauce bottles in the bathroom. He doesn't go in the fridge because he knows he's not allowed, so I no longer get bags of bloody ground beef lifted onto my duvet cover. But in the interests of encouraging toddler creativity and independent play, unless he can hurt himself, break something, or end up wasting a lot of money (like dumping out a 500 count bottle of digestive enzymes), he is allowed to have access to most of the stuff in our house. Besides, there's not really a lot of places we can hide these things, since we can't lock our drawers (he would figure out the locks, anyway, even if we could).
But man, I really do wish that I had a magic wand... I would walk into each room, wave it, and everything would fly to the room it belongs in, and settle in its proper place. That sounds glorious.
Okay, off to fold my 5th and final load of laundry. And watch TV. Before I collapse into bed.
The daily grind can be just that - a grind. But since everyday is filled with multiple spontaneous hugs, kisses, and "Wuv you Mommy"'s from this adorable kid...
It sure is worth it:)
Maybe some moms don't have this "problem" at all. If you don't... well, I don't want to hear from you! (I kid).
So, anybody with children, especially very mobile children, has probably made the observation that it is incredibly hard to keep the house tidy (nevermind clean) when you are home all day. This might seem counter-intuitive, because if you're home all day, you have all day to tidy and clean. But seriously, a toddler makes messes much faster than you can clean them up. At least MY toddler does! And I don't really have any desire to be walking from one room to another putting things in their proper places ALL DAY LONG. I would literally never be able to do anything else.
Probably one of our biggest problems is that we have an open concept house, and Noah is allowed to go anywhere. Sure, we gate off the stairs so he can't sneak downstairs while I'm cooking or showering. But other than that, there is no good way to keep him contained, and there never has been. He's been opening doors and walking through them since he was 12 months old, so things are constantly ending up where they don't belong. I always have random items, like stethoscopes, play dishes, play food, magnetic letters, and puzzles pieces in all the bedrooms and bathrooms (almost everyday when I'm in the shower Noah brings me a bowl of cut up wooden fruit and says "Here you go, Mommy!"). And things like toothpaste, tooth brushes, salad tongs, potato mashers, and mixing bowls end up on my living room couches. (Yes, those things are kept in drawers, but our drawers and counters are arranged so that it's no possible to install those latch thingies. I tried. I guess all our counters jut out too far.)
There aren't many things I miss about being childless. But a house that stays tidy for more than 2 minutes is definitely one of them! Even when my entire house is clean I feel like it isn't because it's so hard for it to stay tidy.
Today I had one of those days where I was cleaning, tidying, and doing laundry all day long, but I felt like I was walking on a treadmill - as in, I was doing these things, but felt like I wasn't moving forward because there were so many things still left to do! Vacuuming the whole house, cleaning both full bathrooms, washing the floors, stripping beds, washing/drying/folding 5 loads of laundry, unloading dishwasher, loading it back up, feeding the child several times, and constantly putting things back where they belong.
I am not even really complaining. I'm just stating facts. I am actually thankful. Noah is much more obedient than he was 8-10 months ago, and doesn't touch the things that he really shouldn't touch. So it's not like he's scattering the vitamins and medications from my bedside table throughout the house. He's not pulling clothes out of our drawers (like he did A LOT from about 9 to 15 months). If the lower kitchen cupboards are unlocked, it's not like I end up with unopened salad dressing and BBQ sauce bottles in the bathroom. He doesn't go in the fridge because he knows he's not allowed, so I no longer get bags of bloody ground beef lifted onto my duvet cover. But in the interests of encouraging toddler creativity and independent play, unless he can hurt himself, break something, or end up wasting a lot of money (like dumping out a 500 count bottle of digestive enzymes), he is allowed to have access to most of the stuff in our house. Besides, there's not really a lot of places we can hide these things, since we can't lock our drawers (he would figure out the locks, anyway, even if we could).
But man, I really do wish that I had a magic wand... I would walk into each room, wave it, and everything would fly to the room it belongs in, and settle in its proper place. That sounds glorious.
Okay, off to fold my 5th and final load of laundry. And watch TV. Before I collapse into bed.
The daily grind can be just that - a grind. But since everyday is filled with multiple spontaneous hugs, kisses, and "Wuv you Mommy"'s from this adorable kid...
It sure is worth it:)
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Change of Plans
For the past couple of weeks Justin and I have been planning that today would be an evening out. It was our good friend's (Justin's more than mine - he was his best man) surprise 30th birthday party. Justin told me it started at 6:30, so I thought I could go! The plan was to drive two vehicles into town and drop Noah off at my parents' around 6. They would feed him and bathe him, and then I would leave the party at 7:30, go pick up Noah, bring him home, and put him to bed. He would end up going to bed at his normal time of 8:30 if this plan had worked.
Well, Justin is a man, and with pretty much everything that gets planned through him I am way under-informed. Last night I finally made him showed me the invitation for the party. This was more so because I was wondering if we should eat dinner before we go. But I was glad I finally saw all the details, because it completely ruined my plans for the night.
Justin had told me it started at 6:30. I assumed we should be there at 6:15, because Russ would be getting there at 6:30. Umm, no. Russ wouldn't be getting there until sometime between 7:15 and 7:30. That would leave me a maximum of 15 minutes to be at the party at the same time as Russ. I pretty much immediately said, "Well, I guess I won't be going!" Noah woke up at 6:30am this morning after not falling asleep until past 9:30pm the night before. That's not much sleep. So I wasn't about to stay out later and have him go to bed later. Not after a short, crappy sleep like that.
You have to understand - Noah has still never been put to bed by anyone other than me. Ever. I know this will happen at some point, but at this exact time in his life I am not comfortable with it, because I know he wouldn't be. He may now finally be at the point where Justin could put him to bed without me and there wouldn't be a huge freak out. We haven't tried this yet, as there has been no reason to. But that scenario would definitely be our first "step" to getting Noah to be okay with someone else putting him down. I'm not about to just suddenly change EVERYTHING for Noah by having his grandparents put him to bed when they have never done it before, and he has never had anyone but me do it.
{I realize that I am likely one of very few mothers with a 2 year old who has never been put to bed by anyone other than myself, and some of you might think that is crazy. But try to remember that every child is different. Mine has a history of massive separation anxiety from me. I had separation anxiety as a child, and I remember the feeling quite vividly. So I would never say that my child just needed to "get over it" and throw him head first into a situation that would cause him and his caregiver extreme stress. There is absolutely no reason for me to do that to him, and as his mother I would never risk breaking his trust and security just so that I could have a "break" from putting him to bed for a night. Plus, I am/was nursing, and until I got pregnant Noah was still getting a significant amount of milk from me right before he would go to bed. I wasn't going to skip that and jeopardize my supply.}
Anyway, since Russ is basically Justin's best guy friend, I of course wanted him to still go. So I sent him along by himself, and I had Noah to myself for the evening! I was actually really looking forward to it. It was weird, but a really good weird.
I am a stay at home mom, so I am by myself with Noah for a minimum of 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. And we have lots of fun, and lots of quality time. But for the past 3 or 4 months Noah has loved his Dad. If Justin is home, Noah wants to be hanging out with him. If he's sad or upset, he wants Mommy, but if not, he wants to play with Dad. This is a drastic change (back in the day we used to have to pretty much force Noah to spend half an hour alone with Justin, because he would just whine and cry for me the whole time), and it's really good timing since I'm pregnant, but sometimes I have a bit of a hard time with it. It's not like Noah doesn't love me - he does! But it's really weird that if Justin and Noah are playing and Justin needs to go do something else, when I step in to take Justin's place Noah is not interested. He just wants to go where Daddy is going and do what Daddy is doing! If we are home alone he doesn't really even ask for Justin very much, but if Justin is home I sometimes feel kind of superfluous.
Tonight, however, it was just Mommy and Noah. Justin left at 6:30, so I got Noah all to myself. Noah was very excited to go for a walk in his stroller, which ended up turning into an outdoor play date with some friends around the corner. When they went inside, we went back home to play in the backyard. We have a big playground back there, along with a new sandbox (I have no idea why we waited until Noah was 2 years old to buy him a sandbox!!), so there is lots of entertainment back there, even when the pool is closed.
After playing back there for awhile, we went inside for a snack, then bath time and bed time.
Another reason this was nice is that for the past few months Justin has been home for pretty much every bath time and bed time, and he always gives Noah his bath while I get other things ready for bedtime. (We have this arrangement because I used to always be the one to bathe Noah, and then he got so that he would just lose his mind if Justin tried to bathe him. This sucked, especially since I ended up having to bathe him even when I had the stomach flu. So we slowly made the transition to Daddy doing most of the baths, and it worked well. He is 100% happy when I bath him, of course, but now he is also 100% fine with Daddy bathing him.) As much as I love having Justin around for every bath and bed time, it is nice to be able to do it 100% alone once in awhile.
The night passed really quickly, which sometimes isn't the case when we're home alone in the evenings. It was fun and peaceful and wonderful. So, even though my plans for a short night out with my husband were ruined, I had a great night in with my little man, the best little boy in the whole world. And I preferred it :)
Well, Justin is a man, and with pretty much everything that gets planned through him I am way under-informed. Last night I finally made him showed me the invitation for the party. This was more so because I was wondering if we should eat dinner before we go. But I was glad I finally saw all the details, because it completely ruined my plans for the night.
Justin had told me it started at 6:30. I assumed we should be there at 6:15, because Russ would be getting there at 6:30. Umm, no. Russ wouldn't be getting there until sometime between 7:15 and 7:30. That would leave me a maximum of 15 minutes to be at the party at the same time as Russ. I pretty much immediately said, "Well, I guess I won't be going!" Noah woke up at 6:30am this morning after not falling asleep until past 9:30pm the night before. That's not much sleep. So I wasn't about to stay out later and have him go to bed later. Not after a short, crappy sleep like that.
You have to understand - Noah has still never been put to bed by anyone other than me. Ever. I know this will happen at some point, but at this exact time in his life I am not comfortable with it, because I know he wouldn't be. He may now finally be at the point where Justin could put him to bed without me and there wouldn't be a huge freak out. We haven't tried this yet, as there has been no reason to. But that scenario would definitely be our first "step" to getting Noah to be okay with someone else putting him down. I'm not about to just suddenly change EVERYTHING for Noah by having his grandparents put him to bed when they have never done it before, and he has never had anyone but me do it.
{I realize that I am likely one of very few mothers with a 2 year old who has never been put to bed by anyone other than myself, and some of you might think that is crazy. But try to remember that every child is different. Mine has a history of massive separation anxiety from me. I had separation anxiety as a child, and I remember the feeling quite vividly. So I would never say that my child just needed to "get over it" and throw him head first into a situation that would cause him and his caregiver extreme stress. There is absolutely no reason for me to do that to him, and as his mother I would never risk breaking his trust and security just so that I could have a "break" from putting him to bed for a night. Plus, I am/was nursing, and until I got pregnant Noah was still getting a significant amount of milk from me right before he would go to bed. I wasn't going to skip that and jeopardize my supply.}
Anyway, since Russ is basically Justin's best guy friend, I of course wanted him to still go. So I sent him along by himself, and I had Noah to myself for the evening! I was actually really looking forward to it. It was weird, but a really good weird.
I am a stay at home mom, so I am by myself with Noah for a minimum of 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. And we have lots of fun, and lots of quality time. But for the past 3 or 4 months Noah has loved his Dad. If Justin is home, Noah wants to be hanging out with him. If he's sad or upset, he wants Mommy, but if not, he wants to play with Dad. This is a drastic change (back in the day we used to have to pretty much force Noah to spend half an hour alone with Justin, because he would just whine and cry for me the whole time), and it's really good timing since I'm pregnant, but sometimes I have a bit of a hard time with it. It's not like Noah doesn't love me - he does! But it's really weird that if Justin and Noah are playing and Justin needs to go do something else, when I step in to take Justin's place Noah is not interested. He just wants to go where Daddy is going and do what Daddy is doing! If we are home alone he doesn't really even ask for Justin very much, but if Justin is home I sometimes feel kind of superfluous.
Tonight, however, it was just Mommy and Noah. Justin left at 6:30, so I got Noah all to myself. Noah was very excited to go for a walk in his stroller, which ended up turning into an outdoor play date with some friends around the corner. When they went inside, we went back home to play in the backyard. We have a big playground back there, along with a new sandbox (I have no idea why we waited until Noah was 2 years old to buy him a sandbox!!), so there is lots of entertainment back there, even when the pool is closed.
After playing back there for awhile, we went inside for a snack, then bath time and bed time.
Another reason this was nice is that for the past few months Justin has been home for pretty much every bath time and bed time, and he always gives Noah his bath while I get other things ready for bedtime. (We have this arrangement because I used to always be the one to bathe Noah, and then he got so that he would just lose his mind if Justin tried to bathe him. This sucked, especially since I ended up having to bathe him even when I had the stomach flu. So we slowly made the transition to Daddy doing most of the baths, and it worked well. He is 100% happy when I bath him, of course, but now he is also 100% fine with Daddy bathing him.) As much as I love having Justin around for every bath and bed time, it is nice to be able to do it 100% alone once in awhile.
The night passed really quickly, which sometimes isn't the case when we're home alone in the evenings. It was fun and peaceful and wonderful. So, even though my plans for a short night out with my husband were ruined, I had a great night in with my little man, the best little boy in the whole world. And I preferred it :)
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Nuchal Ultrasound and Gender Musings
I had my "12 week ultrasound" on Monday (I was 12 weeks 5 days). I had it in my head that I would scan the four ultrasound pictures we got (which are actually pretty good!) so I could add them into this post. But that involves me installing the drivers from our scanner onto my laptop, which I have not done. And let's be honest, when I have free time, that's the last thing I want to be doing.
Anyway, it went well! It was done at my clinic, and was a LOT faster than my 12 week ultrasound with Noah. I got that one done at my local hospital, and I think it must have been so much longer because they were doing a dating ultrasound as well, so they measured EVERYTHING. In this one they didn't do dating, since we already know dates (we did last time too, but hey, different place, so they did their own dating). The Bambino was very cooperative during the measuring, but did do some flips, turns, wiggles and waves for us. S/he was the opposite of Noah, who wouldn't stay still for 2 seconds and was bouncing all over my uterus during this entire ultrasound, shaking his head, and being very uncooperative (but very cute and entertaining!). This ultrasound was when I just knew Noah would be a boy. The calmness and cooperativeness of this little nugget makes me wonder if it's a girl.
So, like I said, I was 12 weeks 5 days. The baby measured 13 weeks 1 day. Noah measured a week ahead by this point, so the fact that this baby only measures 3 days ahead makes me wonder if it's a girl... again. Haha.
The nuchal measurement is supposed to be less than 3, and it was 1.1, so that is great. We didn't do any blood tests. I don't want to. If the ultrasound looks good, that's all I want to know. I don't want to be given the percentage chance of having a baby with problems, because then I'll just worry. And I'm unlikely to do an amnio to confirm anything because of the risk of miscarriage, so then I'll just worry. And worry. I'd rather spare myself that.
I felt bad for Justin throughout the ultrasound. Noah didn't want to be in the room AT ALL, so Justin spent half the ultrasound out of the room, and half of it standing at the door split between watching his child on the screen, and watching his child in the hallway. I think for our next ultrasound we're going to bring my Dad. He's off work for the next 6 months or so because of his shoulder replacement, and he's obsessed with Noah, so he'd be more than willing. This way he can play with Noah and Justin can spend the whole ultrasound actually watching the ultrasound.
Speaking of the next ultrasound, it's on May 11! 5 more weeks until we find out if this is a baby boy or a baby girl! Noah keeps saying it's a boy (he's very fond of saying that Mommy is a girl, Noah's a boy, and Daddy's a boy... he's into gender these days). For some reason I kind of feel like it's a girl. I don't have a super strong feeling one way or the other. It's more like a 60/40 for of thing. It's just that ever since I got pregnant I've kind of felt like it's a girl.
I am being 200% honest when I say I have zero preference. Well, I do have a preference. I have two preferences. I want another little boy because I love having a little boy. My whole life I have always felt like I'd have boys, but never felt positive that I'd have a girl. So if Noah is going to have a brother, I'd like for this baby to be his brother, so they'd be 2.5 years apart instead of 5+ years (which would be the age difference if baby #3 was a boy). I can imagine myself with two little boys, and I would just love it. Plus I keep having these dreams where I give birth to a tiny baby boy (in crazy situations, of course, like standing up in a locker room during a power blackout with no one paying any attention to me, or on all fours in a random house in a room full of people with two random women I know acting as my midwives), and we name him ____. I'm not saying the actual name, but it's one of the names we had picked out if this baby is a boy. It was actually the name I was less partial to originally, even though it was my suggestion, but Justin loved it
+. Usually when I know that Justin loves a certain name more than the others, it makes me like the name less, because I feel "stuck" or something. However, after having these dreams I totally love the name, so I'm 99.9% sure that we will be using it if this is a boy. The dreams make me feel like I already have a baby boy with that name, so that kind of makes me hope even more than this baby is a boy.
I also want a girl, because I don't have one. So that would be different and cool. I don't really want one so I can dress her up (not that that wouldn't be fun!); I more want one so I can have that adult mother-daughter relationship that I have with my own mom. Plus we have two fairly unique girl names that we totally love, and I think I know which one we will chose.
It always helps when you have names you love for either gender.
So honestly, I am going to be equally excited either way! I keep imagining either scenario, and I want both/either. I think that's a nice way to feel going into an ultrasound. I definitely won't feel disappointed either way! I just want to know!
Anyway, it went well! It was done at my clinic, and was a LOT faster than my 12 week ultrasound with Noah. I got that one done at my local hospital, and I think it must have been so much longer because they were doing a dating ultrasound as well, so they measured EVERYTHING. In this one they didn't do dating, since we already know dates (we did last time too, but hey, different place, so they did their own dating). The Bambino was very cooperative during the measuring, but did do some flips, turns, wiggles and waves for us. S/he was the opposite of Noah, who wouldn't stay still for 2 seconds and was bouncing all over my uterus during this entire ultrasound, shaking his head, and being very uncooperative (but very cute and entertaining!). This ultrasound was when I just knew Noah would be a boy. The calmness and cooperativeness of this little nugget makes me wonder if it's a girl.
So, like I said, I was 12 weeks 5 days. The baby measured 13 weeks 1 day. Noah measured a week ahead by this point, so the fact that this baby only measures 3 days ahead makes me wonder if it's a girl... again. Haha.
The nuchal measurement is supposed to be less than 3, and it was 1.1, so that is great. We didn't do any blood tests. I don't want to. If the ultrasound looks good, that's all I want to know. I don't want to be given the percentage chance of having a baby with problems, because then I'll just worry. And I'm unlikely to do an amnio to confirm anything because of the risk of miscarriage, so then I'll just worry. And worry. I'd rather spare myself that.
I felt bad for Justin throughout the ultrasound. Noah didn't want to be in the room AT ALL, so Justin spent half the ultrasound out of the room, and half of it standing at the door split between watching his child on the screen, and watching his child in the hallway. I think for our next ultrasound we're going to bring my Dad. He's off work for the next 6 months or so because of his shoulder replacement, and he's obsessed with Noah, so he'd be more than willing. This way he can play with Noah and Justin can spend the whole ultrasound actually watching the ultrasound.
Speaking of the next ultrasound, it's on May 11! 5 more weeks until we find out if this is a baby boy or a baby girl! Noah keeps saying it's a boy (he's very fond of saying that Mommy is a girl, Noah's a boy, and Daddy's a boy... he's into gender these days). For some reason I kind of feel like it's a girl. I don't have a super strong feeling one way or the other. It's more like a 60/40 for of thing. It's just that ever since I got pregnant I've kind of felt like it's a girl.
I am being 200% honest when I say I have zero preference. Well, I do have a preference. I have two preferences. I want another little boy because I love having a little boy. My whole life I have always felt like I'd have boys, but never felt positive that I'd have a girl. So if Noah is going to have a brother, I'd like for this baby to be his brother, so they'd be 2.5 years apart instead of 5+ years (which would be the age difference if baby #3 was a boy). I can imagine myself with two little boys, and I would just love it. Plus I keep having these dreams where I give birth to a tiny baby boy (in crazy situations, of course, like standing up in a locker room during a power blackout with no one paying any attention to me, or on all fours in a random house in a room full of people with two random women I know acting as my midwives), and we name him ____. I'm not saying the actual name, but it's one of the names we had picked out if this baby is a boy. It was actually the name I was less partial to originally, even though it was my suggestion, but Justin loved it
+. Usually when I know that Justin loves a certain name more than the others, it makes me like the name less, because I feel "stuck" or something. However, after having these dreams I totally love the name, so I'm 99.9% sure that we will be using it if this is a boy. The dreams make me feel like I already have a baby boy with that name, so that kind of makes me hope even more than this baby is a boy.
I also want a girl, because I don't have one. So that would be different and cool. I don't really want one so I can dress her up (not that that wouldn't be fun!); I more want one so I can have that adult mother-daughter relationship that I have with my own mom. Plus we have two fairly unique girl names that we totally love, and I think I know which one we will chose.
It always helps when you have names you love for either gender.
So honestly, I am going to be equally excited either way! I keep imagining either scenario, and I want both/either. I think that's a nice way to feel going into an ultrasound. I definitely won't feel disappointed either way! I just want to know!
Sunday, April 1, 2012
It Was My Birthday
My birthday was this past Friday. I really don't care much about my birthday since becoming a mother. Noah's birthday is far more important to me. This was actually my third birthday since Noah was born, and the first two were amazing. There is just something special about spending your birthday as a mother after spending a birthday (or two, or three, etc) wanting to be a mother. Even though my birthday is not very important to me, there was still something magical about it.
Well, that spell was broken this year.
Frankly, the first half of the day sucked. Noah is normally incredibly pleasant and well behaved, but he chose my birthday to act like a 2 year old. He decided to whine and cry over everything he wanted to do or have. I can't. stand. whining. and. crying. Especially when it's completely unnecessary. If you want a freaking apple, just ask for it, don't whine and cry about it!! If you want to watch Chuggington, just ask, don't whine and cry about it! His first request for anything was punctuated by whining and crying. I ended up putting him in time out for 90 seconds, where he screamed like someone was cutting his arms off. It was brutal, and really grated on my nerves. The whining and crying got a little bit better after that (after he nursed for a good 10 minutes to "recover" from such an unreasonable and terrible consequence... can you just feel the sarcasm oozing through your computer screen?). But it was still a very frustrating day.
Thankfully we were invited to my parents for dinner, so shortly after Noah's nap we left to go there. I knew there would be a drastic difference in Noah's behaviour once we got there, and there was. No more whining and crying, just our happy, pleasant boy. So those few hours were enjoyable, at least. My brother and SIL had come to town (not for my birthday, but because my Dad had his shoulder replaced on Wednesday), and it was nice to see them.
So my birthday was just meh. I don't know why exactly, but I'm in a bit of a funk. Things from my last post are stressing me out. Then I had a really stressful Thursday, which I'm not going to recap right now. I'm feeling easily bothered, and I have very little patience.
I guess it's probably just a mixture of real-life stress and pregnancy hormones. Everything seems worse when you're jacked up on pregnancy hormones.
Okay, I think I'm going to take this time to try to list some positive things going on in my life right now. Maybe it'll help me get out of the funk.
1. I'm pregnant. Hello, that's pretty awesome.
2. I'm pretty positive I've been feeling the baby fluttering around in there for the past week. I know it's early, but I was feeling little mystery flutters this early with Noah, so it only makes sense. Plus, considering the size and location of my uterus (the top of it is just about even with my belly button), it makes even more sense that I would feel it earlier than normal.
3. We have an ultrasound tomorrow! We haven't seen this Bambino in almost 6 weeks, and I'm really excited to see him/her looking like a real baby instead of a kidney bean. Plus at my clinic they broadcast the ultrasound onto a big flatscreen on the wall, so it's really a neat experience. And if there's enough time we might be able to see some 3D images!
4. Justin and Noah are best friends lately. For awhile there (maybe about 6 months ago), poor Daddy was way down on Noah's list of favourite people. Numbers 1 through 9 were Mommy, and Daddy barely hung onto the number 10 spot. But no longer! I am still number 1 (especially when it comes to Noah being hurt or upset or scared, or when he wakes up in the morning or after nap). But the rest of the time, MAN is he happy to be hanging out with his Dad! No more whining for Mommy! In fact, if Justin has to take a shower or go do something else, Noah doesn't give a crap the fact that I'm still there; he just gets sad that Justin is gone. It just makes me so happy to see them be so close, and it's great timing with the pregnancy and impending baby.
5. We've been able to go to church again for the past 2 weeks!
6. Noah is loving babies. He gets excited whenever he sees one ("There's a baby!!" "Hi little baby!"). He asks if he can hug and kiss the baby (ie. my belly). If he's on my lap he says "Careful of the baby!!!" And today in the church nursery I was holding a baby boy (about 3 or 4 months old), and he was sooo sweet to him, caressing his face, and leaning forward to give him an adorable kiss on the cheek. This makes me really look forward to the new baby arriving.
7. Next weekend is Easter, and that means my whole immediate family will be together in one place (there are currently 13 of us, and 2 babies on the way). Last time we were all together was Christmas, so this will be nice.
Okay, I'm feeling like I'm in a better mood. I just need to focus on the good stuff instead of the bad/annoying stuff. Off to do other things!
Well, that spell was broken this year.
Frankly, the first half of the day sucked. Noah is normally incredibly pleasant and well behaved, but he chose my birthday to act like a 2 year old. He decided to whine and cry over everything he wanted to do or have. I can't. stand. whining. and. crying. Especially when it's completely unnecessary. If you want a freaking apple, just ask for it, don't whine and cry about it!! If you want to watch Chuggington, just ask, don't whine and cry about it! His first request for anything was punctuated by whining and crying. I ended up putting him in time out for 90 seconds, where he screamed like someone was cutting his arms off. It was brutal, and really grated on my nerves. The whining and crying got a little bit better after that (after he nursed for a good 10 minutes to "recover" from such an unreasonable and terrible consequence... can you just feel the sarcasm oozing through your computer screen?). But it was still a very frustrating day.
Thankfully we were invited to my parents for dinner, so shortly after Noah's nap we left to go there. I knew there would be a drastic difference in Noah's behaviour once we got there, and there was. No more whining and crying, just our happy, pleasant boy. So those few hours were enjoyable, at least. My brother and SIL had come to town (not for my birthday, but because my Dad had his shoulder replaced on Wednesday), and it was nice to see them.
So my birthday was just meh. I don't know why exactly, but I'm in a bit of a funk. Things from my last post are stressing me out. Then I had a really stressful Thursday, which I'm not going to recap right now. I'm feeling easily bothered, and I have very little patience.
I guess it's probably just a mixture of real-life stress and pregnancy hormones. Everything seems worse when you're jacked up on pregnancy hormones.
Okay, I think I'm going to take this time to try to list some positive things going on in my life right now. Maybe it'll help me get out of the funk.
1. I'm pregnant. Hello, that's pretty awesome.
2. I'm pretty positive I've been feeling the baby fluttering around in there for the past week. I know it's early, but I was feeling little mystery flutters this early with Noah, so it only makes sense. Plus, considering the size and location of my uterus (the top of it is just about even with my belly button), it makes even more sense that I would feel it earlier than normal.
3. We have an ultrasound tomorrow! We haven't seen this Bambino in almost 6 weeks, and I'm really excited to see him/her looking like a real baby instead of a kidney bean. Plus at my clinic they broadcast the ultrasound onto a big flatscreen on the wall, so it's really a neat experience. And if there's enough time we might be able to see some 3D images!
4. Justin and Noah are best friends lately. For awhile there (maybe about 6 months ago), poor Daddy was way down on Noah's list of favourite people. Numbers 1 through 9 were Mommy, and Daddy barely hung onto the number 10 spot. But no longer! I am still number 1 (especially when it comes to Noah being hurt or upset or scared, or when he wakes up in the morning or after nap). But the rest of the time, MAN is he happy to be hanging out with his Dad! No more whining for Mommy! In fact, if Justin has to take a shower or go do something else, Noah doesn't give a crap the fact that I'm still there; he just gets sad that Justin is gone. It just makes me so happy to see them be so close, and it's great timing with the pregnancy and impending baby.
5. We've been able to go to church again for the past 2 weeks!
6. Noah is loving babies. He gets excited whenever he sees one ("There's a baby!!" "Hi little baby!"). He asks if he can hug and kiss the baby (ie. my belly). If he's on my lap he says "Careful of the baby!!!" And today in the church nursery I was holding a baby boy (about 3 or 4 months old), and he was sooo sweet to him, caressing his face, and leaning forward to give him an adorable kiss on the cheek. This makes me really look forward to the new baby arriving.
7. Next weekend is Easter, and that means my whole immediate family will be together in one place (there are currently 13 of us, and 2 babies on the way). Last time we were all together was Christmas, so this will be nice.
Okay, I'm feeling like I'm in a better mood. I just need to focus on the good stuff instead of the bad/annoying stuff. Off to do other things!
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