Christmas Day and Boxing Day 2011

To read about our Christmas Eve, go here.


Christmas Day

Christmas Day was not magical.  I am not complaining, I am just being realistic.  Not everyday is a good day, for you or for your child, and Christmas Day wasn't a great day for Noah or for me.

My day started with me waking up an hour earlier than Noah so we can go to church (which we've skipped for the past month to avoid Noah either spreading his germs while he's sick, or getting sick from the nursery when he's healthy). I rushed around all morning, but somehow we were still late for church.

We never put Noah in the church nursery without either me or my mom staying in there with him.  He is doing a lot better with his separation anxiety, but he still needs someone around that he can trust.  I had separation anxiety when I was younger, and it's very very real, and very very scary, so I would never force Noah to just "deal" with it.  He wouldn't be able to.  He would just scream and scream until I appeared again, and then he would likely end up becoming very clingy again because the trust would be broken.  The nursery workers have a hard time believing it, because when I'm in the nursery Noah will sometimes seem to pay no attention to me at all.  But if I leave, it's game over.  He gets really scared and doesn't want anyone to touch him and won't calm down for anyone but me.

So on Christmas Day we brought Noah into church with us, because I wanted to be able to enjoy the Christmas service (we missed all of Advent).  Noah did really well in church, sitting on my lap for almost an hour.  Unfortunately our services always last at least an hour and 15 minutes, sometimes an hour and a half.  So Noah started to get antsy.  I was sitting the furthest in the pew, and Justin was on the outside, so he said "I'll go out with him."  I said thanks, and then settled back to enjoy the rest of the service.

A few minutes later Justin appears.  Alone.  He said Noah just walked right into the nursery and didn't pay any attention to him, and it's not like he was going to hang out in there (oh heaven forbid), so he came back in.  I was shocked, because Justin is usually very sensitive to things like this, but he seemed completely unconcerned.  I told him that of course Noah walked in and paid no attention to him - he thought his Dad was going to stay in there with him.  How could he leave him in a room full of complete strangers??  As soon as he realizes there's no one there he knows, he's going to lose it!  And Justin didn't even sign him in, so they didn't have a number to put up on the screen to page us.  And we were sitting at the very front of the church.

Of course, I hoped I was wrong.  I hoped he'd be okay.  I was going to go out to check on him, but my mom had to go to the bathroom so she said she'd do it.

Five minutes later she came back holding Noah, who had a red, blotchy, tear-stained face, and was shuddering and crying softly.  He saw me and softly sobbed "Mamaaaaa" and lunged for me.  Apparently he was bawling and even Granny staying in the nursery with him wasn't good enough anymore by that point.  He needed his Mom.  He asked to nurse, and obviously I didn't give a crap that I was sitting in the front row of the church and we were all about to stand up to sing.  I nursed him.

So we left church, and Justin was feeling bad, and I was feeling sad for Noah, who seemed exhausted from his cry even though he was still hours from his normal naptime.  He fell asleep in the car at 11:50, which was way too early for him to nap.  We drove around for awhile, and he only napped for half an hour.

Then we went to my aunt and uncle's, where we find out after being there for awhile that that 75% of the people there were exposed to the stomach flu the night before.  So then we had possibly been exposed to the stomach flu.  Wonderful.  We leave pretty much as soon as we found this out, because I am terrified of the stomach flu after getting it three times last winter (and it turned out that 3 of the 6 people in my aunt and uncle's family started throwing up the next day).

Then we went to my inlaws'. Noah acted so strange all day. He wasn't really acting interested in present opening, which was the opposite of the day before.  And as the day goes on he got more congested and his nose got runnier and he started getting a fever. He hardly ate anything, and he generally acted very out of sorts, the way he acts when he's about to get very sick.  He was actually asking to go home, so we left early.

At home he seemed totally fine, and played with his kitchen for an hour. This made me happier, because it seemed like he just wanted to go home, and maybe he actually felt okay. But I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off putting Christmas presents away and having to reorganize and pack away some dishes and toys to fit other things.

Then after bathtime Noah's whole body was hot, but he was shivering like crazy.  Then it seemed like maybe he was about to throw up. I took his temp and it was 98.6, but he felt a lot hotter and I find sometimes the forehead thermometer doesn't work properly, so I took his temp again on the other side and it was 102.  That felt a lot closer to what he actually felt like to the touch. So that made me feel even worse.

Then when I was nursing him to sleep (he was tired enough that he was falling asleep quickly, but 9 nights out of 10 he goes in his crib awake) he conked out right away, but his body kept jerking, which was probably from sleep, but I was terrified the whole time that he was about to throw up.

I couldn't fall asleep that night because I was so scared that we were all going to start barfing in the middle of the night.  For some reason I always wake up with the stomach flu around 2am.

Luckily Noah slept 11.5 hours straight, and the next morning we were all still healthy.

All's well that ends well.


Boxing Day

On Boxing Day we were at my parents' house all day long. All my siblings and their spouses were there.  It was great to see everyone, especially since I hadn't seen Nick and Hilary and their kids since Thanksgiving.  Noah had a great time playing with Elijah (exactly a year older than Noah) and Josiah (14 months).  Elijah was really into Noah.  He even wanted him to stay overnight with him at Granny and Gramper's and sleep in the other single bed in the room (ha, yeah right).  They first started really playing together this past summer.  Before that, Elijah wanted nothing to do with Noah because he seemed too much younger than him.  I was cute to see how much Elijah liked Noah this Christmas.

It was also so interesting to watch them, because Noah definitely appears to be ahead of Elijah, intellectually.  He talks much more, knows all his shapes, all his colours, all his animals and their sounds, and all of his letters.  Elijah knows a few animals and animal sounds, and a few colours, but those are all recent acquirements.  It's just so interesting to me to see how different kids develop.  

I was a little concerned about the napping situation as Christmas approached.  I hate letting Noah cry it out in a strange place (he doesn't cry much, if at all, before he sleeps at our house), but I never nurse him to sleep for a nap anymore, so I had no idea how he was going to have a nap at my parents' house (because yes, he would certainly cry if I plopped him in the crib and left the room).  Turns out, he didn't.

I tried.  I kept telling him that he was going to nap in the crib, that Mommy would just be downstairs and would come get him after he slept.  But he looked really freaked out, and kept softly crying and saying "Nooooo, noooo."  I nursed him in the rocker to try and calm him down, but then just decided not to put him in the crib.  I just felt too bad doing it when he seemed so scared.  I tried to coax him to fall asleep in my arms, nursing, and he seemed like he did.  But only for 5 minutes.

So he didn't nap, but he was a complete angel, as usual.  I have said it before and I'll say it again - I love being around Elijah and Josiah (my nephews) because they make Noah look so good.  It helps remind me what a good kid I have, and reinforces the parenting decisions I've we've made.  My nephews are constantly crying and freaking out; they are so loud; they need such crazy, high energy stimulation in order to stay happy; it is a battle to get them to eat anything at dinnertime; and Elijah is sometimes full-out defiantly bratty (for example, my Dad had a night shift that night, and the next morning my mom told Elijah not to yell because Gramper was sleeping.  Elijah walked right over to the stairs leading upstairs and screamed at the top of his lungs.  Then he stared at my mom with a "screw you" look on his face!!!!  Noah would never do something like that!)

At the end of the night as we were leaving, my mom was saying thanks to me for my patience (not sure why) and I said "Yeah, my kid only slept 5 minutes the whole day."  My brother Nick (Elijah and Josiah's dad), who is the type of person who always thinks he's right and I can rarely do anything right according to him, said, "Yeah, but he was an ANGEL! Seriously, your kid is PERFECT!"  I said, "Well, he has his moments, but he IS pretty darn good."  I'm so proud of Noah in situations like this.

It was interesting, because on Boxing Day I was asking him at 7:30 if he wanted to go home, and he kept saying No. On Christmas Day, HE was asking to go home. His behaviour was so different on the two days. Apparently he did not enjoy the get together at my inlaws'.

The three cousins on Boxing Day:

Noah (21 months), Josiah (14 months), and Elijah (33 months)

Josiah is screaming, as usual.

Noah doesn't know what to do, because my brother Nick was holding him there, and he is not so sure about Uncle Nick. 

And Elijah bails:

Freakishly similar to last year (when Elijah was Noah's exact age):

Elijah: "I will cut you."

Interestingly, last year Noah was 9 months and barely slept the whole day (maybe half an hour total), and was extremely pleasant that day as well.

And Elijah bails again:

"Get these babies away from me!!"

Those pictures crack me up.

Next year there will be a 7 or 8 month old little boy added to the picture (from Nick and Hilary), and maybe a couple of newborns.  I would love to have a baby by the end of 2012, and my other brother and his wife went off the pill and are going to see what happens, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see!!


(Noah is sick right now (his 17th illness), but nothing major.  He got it from Justin, who has had a chest cold for weeks.  I have somehow managed to avoid it.  I'm telling you, these supplements work magic!)

Christmas Eve 2011 and Presents Recap

It is New Year's Eve, and I haven't posted about Christmas. I would really like this post to be filed in December 2011, and not January 2012, so I better get cracking.

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve was wonderful.  The three of us stayed home all day.  We had a lot of presents for Noah, so we slowly opened them most of them throughout the day, and then decided in the early evening to put all the rest of them under the tree.  We wanted Noah to be able to experience the whole "stack of presents under the tree" thing, since he was enjoying receiving presents so much this year.  

It was really fun.  We only gave Noah one present that he didn't really care for, and I had anticipated that he would react that way to that present.  It was the Rockin' Shapes Elmo that sings.  I bought it when I finally saw it in stock somewhere, because for a couple of months there Noah was beyond obsessed with Elmo.  But I realized shortly after I bought it that there wasn't a lot of play potential there.  And I was right.  Noah doesn't give a hoot about it.  I'm pretty confident I will be returning the Rockin' Elmo and guitar I bought.  We didn't give it to Noah for the same reason.

However, besides that one bomb, everything else was greatly appreciated.  

He LOVED his play kitchen.  We put it together during his nap and then had it sitting out for him when he woke up.  He played with it for an hour and a half straight.  It was amazing.

I honestly don't know why he wasn't wearing pants.  I obviously didn't think ahead and realize I would want to take pictures. 

Another big hit was this present:

It was in the big pile of gifts we put under the tree, and he pulled this one out first.  It made me laugh, because it was the biggest package, and he obviously already had the whole “bigger is better” idea in his head.

The present ended up being this set of musical instruments:

This was by no means the classiest present we bought him.  It was actually only $30.  But I knew he would love it, and he does, so that's what really matters.  Yes, that guitar is freaking loud, but if it gets too annoying I will just hide it. ;)

Another gift was this Melissa and Doug Magnetic Alphabet Puzzle book:

I thought this would be the best thing, but the magnets aren't very strong at all, so I actually don't like it that much.  Plus Noah already knows his entire alphabet, and recently got his Baby Einstein Alphabooks which he loves, so these are kind of superfluous in our house.

A better puzzle was this one, also by Melissa and Doug:

We have a video of Noah right after he got this.  He took every shape out, and then put every shape right back in exactly where it went.  

It took him 1 try.  He felt he had mastered it, and moved on to the next present.  Not that he didn't like it.  He did.  He has played with it everyday since then.  Within 2 or 3 days after Christmas, he could name every shape in the puzzle (square, circle, diamond, rectangle, triangle, heart, star, and oval).  This kid loves to learn.

Next he opened this big box of Duplo:

Noah has had Mega Bloks since he was 7 months old (and started playing with them that young, too). They definitely served their purpose in this house, and were well used (and will be saved for future children). But Mega Bloks are too simple for him now, and don’t have enough potential. So we’ve moved on to Duplo. He got three big sets this Christmas, and has definitely played with them tons ever since.

I think his last present to open was this set of foot that velcros together and comes with a cutting board and play knife:

"Ohh, this looks interesting..."

He really did like this stuff.

You can probably get much better quality play food that can be “cut”, and I’m not convinced that this Velcro will hold up through multiple children. I did get this set on about half price, so I only paid about $10 for it. If it breaks down after awhile I will buy better quality stuff (I think Melissa and Doug might make a similar thing, but in wood).

I honestly can't remember if he got any more present from us on Christmas Eve. We had been slowly giving him presents beforehand, so he got two Little People's farms (the big one and a smaller one), a bunch of small Tonka cars, the Fisher Price Drill and Hammer set (this thing ROCKS!), and some other stuff I can't remember right now.

If you just count the presents that we got him, they replaced everything he had before - everything he was extremely bored with. But he also got some great presents from his grandparents, and a great aunt and uncle, and his Uncle Nick and Aunt Hilary, including more Duplo sets, the Little People's Airport, the Little People's Stand and Play Rampway, some books, a travel sized Etch-a-Sketch, and some huge floor puzzles.

He got very few presents that aren't currently interesting to him. Almost everything was age appropriate (at least for Noah), and it will all keep him engaged for at least a couple of more years (not that I'm saying he won't get any more presents for the next two years!). There is nothing that he will grow out of using very quickly.

Noah had really gotten to the point where he was in desperate need of new toys that were more age appropriate, and allowed him to use his imagination, so all of these presents were very welcome.

I realized on Boxing Day that I completely forgot to give him his double-sided easel. I bought it two months ago, and was waiting very impatiently for Christmas so I could give it to him. Then when I was wrapping presents on Christmas Eve morning, I completely forgot about it. It was being stored under the stairs, and all the other presents were in one of the spare rooms, so it got overlooked. I may save it for his birthday, or I will give it to him in the next couple of months when he seems bored.

I was going to post about the rest of our Christmas here, but I will write about them in a separate post. This ended up being long enough!

Expanding Our Cloth Diaper Options

I have been enjoying cloth diapering for the past month, but there is no denying that there is a lot more bum changing going on my house.  Cloth diapers hold a lot less than disposables.  I actually did a test today that basically determined that each of my inserts only holds 100mL (3.3oz) of fluid before fluid starts compressing out.  This is true for both my microfiber and bamboo inserts, which surprised me, since bamboo is supposedly more absorbent.  Apparently it is only more trim, not more absorbent.

I refuse to double the microfiber inserts, because the diapers get uncomfortably bulky.  I have doubled the trimmer bamboo inserts, but the diaper still gets pretty bulky, and Noah still leaked out of it within 3 hours.  Doubling up the inserts I have isn't a great option, in my opinion, just because of the bulkiness.

More diaper changing isn't really a bad thing.  Just because a disposable diaper can hold 15 ounces of pee doesn't mean that you should LET your baby sit in all that urine.  But still, it would be nice if I could run errands for a couple of hours in the afternoon without the cloth diaper leaking.

I have also been wanting to try cloth diapering overnight.  I haven't done this so far because I was fairly certain that none of my current cloth diaper options would work (now I know that they won't, after doing that experiment earlier this evening).  Noah isn't even that much of a heavy wetter anymore, since he nurses less than he used to and isn't nursing overnight anymore.  But even using two bamboo inserts only gives me 6-7oz of absorbing capabilities... this pretty much guarantees a leaky diaper in the wee hours of the morning.

I'd been planning on buying a variety of hemp inserts, hoping that they would absorb a lot more, and allow me to cloth diaper at night.  I wasn't in a big hurry, because one disposable a day wasn't really bothering me.

However, last night I read something that lit a fire under my ass, so to speak.  A few months ago I was completely unaware that cloth diapers had toxins and carcinogens in them.  And a month ago, when I started cloth diapering, I was still mostly unaware.  I knew they contained "chemicals", but not much beyond that.

Then I read THIS.  And I kind of freaked out. I didn't know about the two big toxins in disposable diapers (Dioxin and Sodium Polyacrylate). I didn't know that Dioxin is one of the highest cancer-causing agents known.  I didn't know that there were no safe levels of exposure to dioxin.  I didn't know that it caused liver damage, immune system suppression, and possibly genetic damage.

I didn't know that Sodium Polyacrylate, which is what causes those little gel crystals that we sometimes find on our baby's bums, has been reported to cause severe skin irritations, oozing blood from perineum and scrotal tissues, fever, vomiting and staph infections in babies.  I didn't know that it was banned from tampons in 1985 because of its link to Toxic Shock Syndrome. What the heck is it still doing in diapers?! I didn't know that it has killed children after ingesting as little as 5 grams of it.  I didn't know that it causes female organ problems, slows healing wounds, and causes fatigue and weight loss to the employees in the factories that manufacture it.

I didn't know any of this!!  How are disposable diapers even allowed to contain these things?!

Maybe I'm only using one disposable diaper a day.  But that one diaper is sitting on my kid's genitals for 12 hours.  That's 12 hours of exposure to carcinogens and toxins.

NO, thank you.

So even though I previously stated that my main reason for cloth diapering is the cost savings, I opened up my wallet and ordered some heavy duty overnight diapering paraphernalia.  I'm pulling out the big guns.  I didn't really want to fool around here, because I want to get those disposable diapers off my baby's butt as soon as possible.

So I ordered 3 Bumboo Fitted Diapers:

and 3 Stretch Bamboozle Fitted diapers, by Tots Bots:

And 2 Kissaluvs Wool Lover Diaper Covers:

I know, that wool cover looks really weird if you've never seen it before.  And I'm not 100% sure I'm going to love this particular cover, but it was honestly the only option in stock at any of the Canadian cloth diaper online stores I know of.  Hopefully it'll do the trick, because they were expensive.

However, I am pretty confident in my choice of fitted diapers, although I really wish they were stay-dry diapers (lined with fleece or suede cloth).  I will use fleece liners in them, but in my experience, my fleece liners shift around a LOT.  I might end up cutting out my own, so they can cover the whole inside of the diaper.

I also ordered 2 Flip day packs.  I don't necessarily think the inserts are going to be any more absorbent than my Kawaii inserts, but I am finding it very annoying to pack so many cloth diapers when I'm going out of the house for the day.  Cloth diapers take up a lot of space in the diaper bag!  With Flip diapers, I would only need to pack one extra cover, and as many inserts as I think I would need for the amount of time I'll be gone.  The inserts sit on top of the cover, which is wipeable.  When you change the diaper, you typically would just take out the used insert and put in a fresh one. You only need to change the cover if it's soiled or starting to smell like pee.  

On top of all that, I ordered a variety of hemp liners and doublers to use in my pocket diapers and under the Flip inserts.  Hemp is very trim, but supposedly very absorbent.  Hopefully this will extend Noah's diaper-wearing time when we're out and about, and stop me from being tempted to bust out a disposable for those times when diaper changes every hour and a half just aren't feasible.

I spent a lot of money on diapers today.  Money I wasn't planning on spending.  But after finding out what I found out about disposables, money became much less of an issue.  I might be cheap  frugal, but I do value my son's health, and I pretty much wanted to throw up when I found out that for the past 21 months of his life he's spent the vast majority of his time with carcinogens sitting against his skin.

I can't wait to get my new diapers and try them out!  And if you have a great cloth diapering system that works for long periods of time and/or overnight, tell me about it!  I love hearing what works for other people.

More Potty!

Last week I posted about how Noah peed on the potty for the first time.  We've been pretty busy since then (Christmas), but he has peed on the potty once or twice pretty much every day since then, and has done it a total of 10 times now.  

But today was a new first!  Tonight before bath Noah peed on the potty, and then after bath he was running around, naked and hyper, and then he stopped, said "Pee!", ran to the potty, sat down, and peed.

It was his first time initiating peeing on the potty!  I was so proud.

Someone asked in the comments of my last post if I thought this was because of the cloth diapers.  I don't actually think that is the case.  Noah has never really cared if he had a wet or dirty bum, and he started out just peeing on the potty if I put him on, not initiating it himself, so I don't think the diapers has anything to do with him finally actually peeing when he was on the potty.

And to be clear, I am not actively potty training right now.  I think that at 21 months, he is still pretty young.  The whole point of what I'm doing is just to get Noah used to the potty.  My brother and sister in law didn't put my nephew (Elijah) on the potty until just recently, and Elijah is terrified of the potty and wants nothing to do with it (he'll be 3 in 2.5 months).  They think they waited too long.  I don't want fear of the potty to stop Noah from potty training, so back when Noah was 18 months, before I even found out about Elijah, we had an Elmo potty hanging out in our bathroom, which Noah would sometimes sit on.

I also want him to connect peeing, and the feeling of having to pee, with the potty.  Like I said, he doesn't care if he's wet or dirty.  Also, there have been a few times times in the last week that he has been on or near the potty (with no diaper on), and didn't pee, but then was running around in the bathroom or my bedroom, still nude, and started to pee on the floor.  When that happens, and say "Oh no!" (not in a mad way), and it makes him stop peeing.  I then swiftly place him on the potty so he can finish peeing in the appropriate spot.  Since he's been peeing on the potty for the last week, it seems that he has grown more aware of that sensation.  He pees more easily now when I put him on there.  And tonight he recognized the sensation before it happened, so he went to the potty himself.

I'm excited about the progress!  Noah seems to be, too, since we cheer and clap like crazy every time he successfully pees.  Then we give fist bumps, and he says "Pound it!"

I love that kid.

Christmas Eve Musings

It's 1:30am and I am lying in bed, awake.   It is now Christmas Eve!  We had a visitor until midnight (I enjoyed the visit, but oh my gosh, LEAVE SOONER!  We have a toddler!)  I missed my regular sleep window, so I'm unable to fall asleep.  I thought I'd blog a little about random things.

I live in Canada, and we are having a green Christmas.  It's crazy.  Last year at this time we had several feet of snow on the ground.  Ten days ago was actually the anniversary of Snowmageddon, which I blogged about here.  We had to declare a State of Emergency and call in the military with their helicopters to rescue the 400+ people who were completely stranded in the cars when we got dumped on.

This year, nada.  We've had flurries, but actually haven't had any snow collect on the ground at all.  It's really bizarre.  It's been balmy here, actually.  The temperatures have been as high as 12 degrees (53 degrees Fahrenheit, for my American readers... which is most of you).  And I am not complaining in the slightest.  I have LOVED it.

This week I took Noah to our city's Celebration of Lights, which is a huge Christmas lights display set up every November and December throughout one of our waterfront parks.    We went with my mom and sister.  I wanted to go with Justin, but he is way too busy, and it was impossible to find an evening that he was home and it wasn't raining (balmy weather is welcome, but I'm not happy with the excessive rain we've been getting).

Noah had a blast.  He just ran all around the park, checking out all the lights.  I have been to Celebration of Lights in probably a decade.  It was fun to experience it through Toddler Eyes.  That's one of my favourite parts about having a kid.  Things become more exciting to me.

Today I finally wrapped Noah's Christmas presents.  We're giving them to him later today (I originally wrote tomorrow, but it's already Christmas Eve).  I had a hard time controlling myself this year.  There were a lot of things I'd been waiting to buy him until they went on sale, and then in the past couple of months a LOT of those things went on sale!  We've given him a bunch of his presents early, so he wouldn't get a ton of presents at once and be overwhelmed.  I have wrapped every one of them before giving them to him, though.

Noah is so cute we he gets a present.  When he sees the gift he says "Whoa."  And then immediately goes into "Open it?  Open?  Scissors?"  After we gave him the Little People's Animal Sounds Farm and coordinating stable, he played with it for awhile and then sat down beside me, smiled, and said "Like it!"  His reactions are very gratifying for us:)

I figure this is probably the only year we can really spoil Noah.  He won't remember getting a lot of presents when next Christmas comes around, so he won't be expecting it.  But next year might be a different story. And even though we did buy a lot, it was needed.  I rotate out Noah's toys, but he was getting totally bored with all of them.  He definitely needed some new, more age appropriate toys, so that he can "pretend play," which he loves to do.

So far he has gotten the Little People's farm stuff (he loves playing pretend with the animals), two different doctor kits (he loves playing doctor, and the sets had different components, so  I just bought both), and a Fisher Price drill and hammer set.  The drill actually works, and screws the screws into the holes.  It's cool.

The main events coming up are a play kitchen, play food that velcros together that he can cut in half, Little People's Airport, wooden puzzles, Duplo, a bunch of Elmo stuff, and a set of musical instruments that he LOVED in the store.  I am saving the Little People's Animal Sounds Zoo for his birthday.  Unless I bust it out before then.

Okay I am feeling tired again, so I'm going to try to go to sleep.  It's almost 2am.

Merry Christmas to all!

I Finally Made the Call

Last week, right after writing this post, I called my fertility clinic.  I was hoping I could just get an appointment, since we were already diagnosed and determined to be infertile (ugh, that sounds so ugly).  But it had been over a year since I was last a patient (27 months, in fact), and because of the health care system here in Canada, I needed another referral from my doctor.

The nurse sounded excited for me, which made me feel a little less sorry for myself and a little more optomistic.  They're nice like that at my clinic.  I was told they were booking for the head RE (who is the one I really want to see) in late January.  So I called my family doctor, who luckily does not require any appointments to get referrals to specialists.  The nurse there took down my information and said she'd send the referral away.

Referrals take time, so I told myself to wait a week, and if I hadn't gotten a call for my appointment, I would call them myself.  I knew that my clinic closes for 2 weeks at Christmas time (the only time they are closed through the entire year), but I figured the closure would line up with the school breaks, and the schools are still open through the end of the this week.

A couple of days ago I went online to double check the closure dates and the phone number, and unfortunately, they had closed on December 17, and are closed until January 3.  So I have to wait until January to find out 1) if my referral actually made it, and 2) when my appointment is.

I'm not going to lie, I am feeling a little antsy.  It was exactly 3 years ago that we found out about DH's less-than-super sperm, and got a referral to a fertility clinic (a different one than the one we actually used).  I am feeling a slight sense of deja-vu.  The Christmas season... actively trying to get pregnant... about to make the leap into treatments...

However, my life is very different than it was then.  I have Noah, who I get to spend all day every day with.  I am not allowing myself to obsess over getting pregnant this time.  It's not necessary, and it's not fair to Noah or Justin.  I have a child.  Despite my strong desire to add to our family, if I never had another child, I wouldn't hate my life.  I'm sure I'd find a way to get over it, even if people's pregnancy announcements continued to make me cry for years to come.

It really is different this time around.  Although I say I'm "not allowing" myself to become obsessed, I can say with absolute certainty that I didn't "allow" myself to become obsessed last time around.  I couldn't help it.  Some people really want children, and some people really really REALLY want children.  I get annoyed at the people who think that we all have that kind of control over our emotions in that area, like we can stop ourselves from spiralling into depression over our infertility.  Some people can, and some people can't.  The first time around, I was one of the people who couldn't.  Now that I'm going through this process again, I can understand the other side - the people who do want children, but for whom that desire doesn't take over every part of their life.  Because that's me this time around.  I could allow myself to obsess and get depressed.  But I won't.  Last time, however, it wasn't a choice.  It wasn't something I could control.

So, I made the call.  In some ways I can't believe I did it.  I'd been hemming and hawing over that phone call for so long, never knowing when I would actually bite the bullet and do it.  So I guess, as painful as it was to find out my best friend is pregnant, I should thank her.  She forced me to confront how I really felt, which gave me enough of a sense of urgency that I finally took steps in the right direction.

Potty Time!

Tonight, at 21 months and 3 days old,

Noah peed in the potty!!!

You can bet I was super excited!  We bought his potty (an Elmo one, of course) a few months ago, because he was so excited about toilets and peeing (we've been calling him the "Pee Spy" ever since he was 12 months and could walk around and open doors, because if you went to the bathroom in our house and didn't lock the door, you would definitely have a little visitor in there with you!).  I've put him on it a few times, but nothing has ever happened.  I haven't been in a hurry for potty training (at all), but I just got the potty to have around.  It's been in our bathroom next to the toilet ever since.

Tonight I had a long conversation with my Mom about her theories on potty training, why kids are potty training so much later now than they did a generation or two ago, and how she had all 4 of her kids (all born within 4.5 years) potty trained before they were 2.5.  Not that I am going to start hardcore training Noah, but a lot of what she said made sense to me.  So when I got Noah home tonight, while we were filling the bathtub, I put him on the potty again.  And he actually peed this time!

It was exciting.

Alphabet

December has been a bad blogging month for me.  I've had plenty I wanted to write about, but most of those things deserved pictures to go along with the words.  But I have been a little focused on other things in my spare time (like finding a better cloth diaper detergent, because the one I picked just does NOT work for us... and I have 3 bottles of it), so uploading pictures to my computer has been at the end of my list of things to do.

SO, here is one post that should have been up a couple of weeks ago.  Better late than never:


A few weeks ago, when Noah was just over 20 months old, he started pointing to letters and telling me what they were.  I believe his very first letter was E, followed closely by S, P, T, etc.  I was kind of flabbergasted, because we didn't have any alphabet toys or puzzles or books.  And I didn't spend any time teaching him his letters.  I think he picked it up from watching Super Why, a show all about reading and letters.  He loves that show.  He might actually like it better than Elmo, which is saying a lot.

He kept reading letters off of our shirts, or on the front of a book, or on our computers.  We'd tell him a new letter, and he wouldn't forget it.  So while I was running errands, I kept my eye out for some alphabet-focused activities.  I found the Baby Einstein Alphabooks during a quick Winners run.  It's a small box that has 26 books in it, one for each letter of the alphabet.

Each individual books has three pages of picture/word combos.

I only took pictures of two.  I don't know why.

Not once did I initiate playing with these books, but within two or three days Noah knew the entire alphabet.  At 20.5 months, he knew the entire alphabet.  Completely unprompted.  You don't have to ask him where "A" is, or where "N" is.  He can just point to any letter, in any order, and say exactly what letter it is.

And that's not all.  He also knows many of the letter sounds.  What sound does P make?  Puh, puh, puh.  T, K, S, B, D... he knows about a third of the sounds of the alphabet.  And if I don't keep asking him what he knows, he says "More?!  More?!"

So, he knows all his colours, he knows all his letters... now I guess he needs to stop counting "Two, two, two..."  

Although I really think that is adorable.  I won't be trying to change that anytime soon:)

Oh, as a side note, in the past couple of weeks Noah has started to imitate The Count from Sesame Street.  It's hilarious.  "ONE!  Ah ah ahhh... TWO!  Ah ah ahhh..."  Justin finds this especially awesome.

Sad:(

This morning I got an email from one of my best friends, one who had a baby three weeks after I had Noah.  We talk (usually through email) every day, multiple times a day, so getting an email was just normal.  I was just skimming it, and then the second paragraph punched me in the stomach.

She's pregnant.

For some reason she thought I already knew, but just hadn't asked her about it.  She thought that because she hadn't mentioned getting her period in awhile, I must have known.  Funny, last night I DID think about how it seemed like it had been a really long time since she had her period, but it never even occurred to me that she could be pregnant.  She's already 11 weeks.

I am happy for her (okay, not going to lie, only a little bit happy), but I am sick to my stomach.  Reading her email caused such an emotional reaction in me that I randomly let down, which hardly ever happens to me anymore.

We've been trying to get pregnant again for almost 11 months.  Obviously we haven't been successful.  And I don't expect to get pregnant without fertility treatments.  But still, I can't let a month go by without trying.

I should really just make an appointment with my RE to get treatments going.  But he's an hour away, it's the beginning of winter, it's such a disruption to our lives to have to drive there all the time... getting pregnant is something I really want to happen, but I really want it to happen naturally.  I just don't want to turn my life upside down right now.  I don't want to have to jump through all those hoops.  If my RE was closer, I'm sure we would be doing treatments already.

I am constantly thinking about it, though.  Last night I was telling my husband that we should start treatments again in the early spring, when he isn't as busy with coaching, when the weather is nicer for driving, when Noah has turned 2, etc.  This means I should be calling my RE now to get an appointment with him.  That can take a few months.  And I should get some day 3 blood work done next cycle (I'm on day 7 right now, so too late for this month), and maybe the next, so we know what my hormones are up to, since it's been 2.5 years since the last time I did day 3 blood work.

Sigh.  This is hard.  For awhile now I have been at the point where hearing someone is pregnant really bothers me, especially if their kids are Noah's age or younger.  But I have two friends who I am close to, whose kids were born 3 weeks before and 3 weeks after Noah, and I knew when those friends got pregnant, it would really hurt.

And it did.

Noah's 16th Illness

This is not earth shattering, nor is it all that interesting, but I need to mention that Noah got sick again last week.  For the 16th time.  Third time in less than 2 months.  Another cold.  Kind of ridiculous, if you ask me.  But luckily he was in good spirits and didn't needed any pain medication to stop him from being a terror.

This post was sitting in drafts for a few days, and I was going to say that the last two times Noah has been sick, I didn't get it, which is amazing because the previous 14 times he was sick, I was down and out with him every single time! But I did end up getting this cold.  Boo.  It's very mild, though, so I'm not really complaining.

To make a long story short, the fact that I didn't get his 15th illness is pretty amazing.  I have an autoimmune disease (ulcerative colitis) that has made me catch everything Noah has had.  I mentioned back in September how I had a really horrible flare up, during which I ended up in the ER and had to see a new specialist.  I had a follow up with her last week and things are awesome!  She did really thorough blood work to compare to the blood work I had done at the end of September, and the results were perfect.  Better than perfect!  She was amazed at how well my body has responded to all the health supplements I've been taking (not prescription, unfortunately, so it's cost us almost $4000 out of pocket).  I already knew that my colitis was a lot better, and that my immune function must be improving, since I avoided Noah's 15th illness, but it was nice to have it confirmed in my blood levels.

As happy as I am about my own health improving, I really do wish that Noah could be healthy for more than a week or two at a time.  It's so lame.

The Beginning of Cloth

I haven't posted in over a week.  It's not that I have nothing to say, it's just that I am currently obsessed with cloth diapers.  It's ridiculous, really, but I am.  I spend way too much time researching, reading forums, reading blogs, reading reviews, deciding if I should try this diaper or that diaper, deciding I am quite pleased with the diaper I have and have no desire to spend $20+ on a single diaper, and that my money would be better spent getting more of my favourite styles of the diapers I already have, which are far less expensive...

So today marks 7 full days that I have been cloth diapering Noah, except for at night time.  Not brave enough for that yet, but I'm sure I'll try it at some point.

My first mail delivery of cloth diaper paraphernalia included this bunch of accessories:

Wet bags, cloth wipes, odor remover, fleece and flushable liners, diaper cream (which, as it turns out, isn't actually that safe for cloth diapers), a diaper sprayer, and pail liners.

This was very exciting, but I received this package before receiving the big shipment of actual diapers.  So I was feeling... bereft.

The next day Noah and I drove out of town to meet up with Erin and Aubrey at a huge indoor play place.  It was super fun, and when I arrived home, my huge package of diapers was waiting at the side of the house!  I immediately ripped into them.  I considered just washing one of each type, but then decided to just go ahead and wash them all.  Diapers have pretty good resale value, so if I didn't like them, I would sell them.  I spent that whole evening doing several wash cycles to get them ready for the next morning.  Man alive, the washing machine really goes slowly when you're excitedly waiting for something that's in it!

This is all my diapers, washed, prepped, and stuffed (except for the bamboo diapers on the bottom right), prior to my first day of diapering:

I bought Kawaii's.  I got 30 diapers and 60 inserts (10 of which are bamboo) for $169.99.  I read the reviews, I liked the price, so I went for it.  I have 7 different styles of Kawaii diapers, but there's 6 piles here because the one pile is a solid snap diaper, but there's original and ultra soft in that pile.

I have used every diaper on that table at least twice, except for the ones with aplix.  They've only been used once.

I'll do a more detailed review of each diaper in another post.

For now, here is Noah in his first diaper of the day on his first day of full-time cloth diapering:

"Seriously, Mom, what is the big deal?"