This month Noah has been especially mischievous. He's always been a boundary pusher, and I've posted somewhat recently about his penchant for doing
everything I don't want him to do. This picture somewhat represents what Noah might like to do at any given moment:
I'll break it down for you. He is holding a large, sharp fork, which he snagged from a kitchen drawer. He has taken our bathroom garbage can, emptied it, and although you can't see it in this picture, it now contains my alarm clock. He had put said garbage can and alarm clock into his car, and is attempting to join them, while holding the large, sharp fork.
This is very tame. It is just the only picture I have of him engaging in activities with things I'd rather he didn't play with.
Moving along.
Lately Noah has continued to push boundaries like
crazy, both in 'secret' (when he thinks we're not watching) and for attention. There have been a few particular instances lately that were hilariously funny after the fact, and I don't want to forget them.
The following events are in chronological order. They happened over the span of about a week and a half. And they get better as they go along.
Number 1:
I was sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch and reading. Noah had been playing with his toys independently (hooray! a rare occasion), and all was very quiet. After a few minutes I realized I'd been hearing a
swishing noise for quite awhile, and it occured to me that I had no idea what he might be swishing around. I figured he had reached up onto the bar-height dining room table and taken down a sheet or two of paper, and was playing with them on the hardwood floors.
Um, no. I went into the dining room, where I saw Noah sitting in the middle of this:
That would be a wallet with approximately $3500 in cash spilling all over the floor. Noah had climbed up onto the bar-height chairs, gotten the wallet from the middle of the table, and taken most of it out. He apparently wanted to know what it felt like to be 'rollin in the dough.'
Number 2:
Noah went into my closet, opened the zipper of my purse, and got my deoderant out. I told him to bring it to Mommy, and he started walking away from me. I then told him
very sternly to bring it to Mommy. Amazingly, he started walking toward me to obey my command. However, on the way he took the lid off of the deoderant and proceeded to shred it all over my carpet.
The bright side is, now when I turn on my dustbuster, it smells like Cool Breeze.
Number 3:
I stepped out onto the deck, leaving Noah inside, because I needed to start the barbeque. When I tried to return to the house, I discovered that Noah had locked the patio door.
I'm locked out on the deck. Noah is in the house. Alone. Smiling sneakily at me through the glass.
I did not realize he knew how to lock the door. I am pretty sure he just realized it himself in that 30 seconds.
I had a small panic attack, until I realized that Justin was training in the garage, and therefore that door would be unlocked. However, I did manage to get Noah to unlock the door and let me back in.
I will be hiding a spare key outside my house in the very near future.
Number 4:
This one happened yesterday. I left my dear angel for about 30 seconds in order to check my email. I was sitting on my bed. Suddenly Noah walks into my room and hoists a 2lb leaky bag of raw, bloody ground beef over his head and onto my comforter.
"Here Mom. I thought you should start dinner."
There was a huge puddle of blood in the fridge (where the beef was originally in a bowl), and a trail of beef blood all through the kitchen, down the hallway, and through my bedroom, which is carpeted. Not to mention the enormous blood stain on my comforter. My king size comforter which does
not fit in my enormous washing machine or dryer.
~~~~~~~
I'm not going to lie, two of these four events made me flip my lid. They occured after a several hour long spurt of constantly interfering and refereeing his activities, saying no about 2347 times, and giving several time outs. I wonder if you can guess which two.
He is awfully cute, though.