My elation at sleeping better in the recliner was premature. I was probably just completely exhausted from never getting more than 5 hours of sleep a night, so I managed to sleep relatively well for two nights.
Last night was back to normal. I knew it was going to be, too. I was just sooo uncomfortable before going to bed. I felt like a whiny little kid, but everything was uncomfortable! My back hurt, my legs ached and were restless, my belly hurt, and the baby's big movements were really bothering me. I hate saying that because I appreciate my pregnancy so much, but I was just so uncomfortable and tired that him pushing out so hard on my belly was not enjoyable.
I only managed to get about 3 hours of restless (and I mean RESTLESS) sleep before I woke up for good at 2am. I haven't been back to sleep since. I tried for 2 1/2 hours, and then gave up. My back was just too achy in that recliner. I eventually tried lying on my side in bed, but then my pubic bone hurt too much for me to sleep. I can't win.
By about 8:30 this morning I had written 20 thank you notes (still have about 30 to go) and washed, dried, folded, and put away three loads of laundry. Needless to say, my pelvis is killing me.
This is going to be one extremely long day. I've already been awake for almost 9 hours, and it's not even 11am yet.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Repeat Performance
My sleep last night was very similar to my sleep the night before, minus the front end of the night. I started out my sleep in the chair instead of the bed, and I continually made it 2 to 2 1/2 hours in between my trips to the bathroom.
Justin woke up early to go to a Crossfit certification, and I actually managed to sleep for the first half hour after he woke up, and I fell asleep again for another hour and a half after he left! That is always very difficult for me to do, even when I'm not pregnant.
My only complaint is that my back really does hurt after a few hours in the chair. But I'm just going to deal with it because it's not nearly as bad as the hip pain and pubic bone pain. Although I have to admit, after two nights in the chair, I'm starting to miss sleeping horizontally. If only it didn't hurt so much!!
I have my third and final baby shower today at noon. I thought about it everytime I woke up last night. I felt like a kid at Christmas time! I'm not usually like that, and I wasn't like that with my other two showers. But I'm really looking forward to the gifts at this shower! More things have been bought off my registry than I anticipated for this shower. And a bunch of those things were on my list of things I needed to buy before the baby came! That's awesome for us. Now I won't be annoyed when I receive clothing instead of practical gifts (unless it's 0-3 month stuff). I just hope the clothes will fit at the right time!
Since Justin is gone, my mom is going to help me bring the gifts home and unpack them all (since I can't do that). I can't wait to finish getting everything organized. I'm going to make my piles of things to exchange and/or return, and then hopefully on Monday I'm going to brace myself against the pain and finish up baby errands while I'm in town. If not on Monday, it'll be some other time this week.
We are almost completely ready! Really, if the baby came now we would be ready. It's just my super-organized nesting part that wants us to get a few more things before he comes.
Justin woke up early to go to a Crossfit certification, and I actually managed to sleep for the first half hour after he woke up, and I fell asleep again for another hour and a half after he left! That is always very difficult for me to do, even when I'm not pregnant.
My only complaint is that my back really does hurt after a few hours in the chair. But I'm just going to deal with it because it's not nearly as bad as the hip pain and pubic bone pain. Although I have to admit, after two nights in the chair, I'm starting to miss sleeping horizontally. If only it didn't hurt so much!!
I have my third and final baby shower today at noon. I thought about it everytime I woke up last night. I felt like a kid at Christmas time! I'm not usually like that, and I wasn't like that with my other two showers. But I'm really looking forward to the gifts at this shower! More things have been bought off my registry than I anticipated for this shower. And a bunch of those things were on my list of things I needed to buy before the baby came! That's awesome for us. Now I won't be annoyed when I receive clothing instead of practical gifts (unless it's 0-3 month stuff). I just hope the clothes will fit at the right time!
Since Justin is gone, my mom is going to help me bring the gifts home and unpack them all (since I can't do that). I can't wait to finish getting everything organized. I'm going to make my piles of things to exchange and/or return, and then hopefully on Monday I'm going to brace myself against the pain and finish up baby errands while I'm in town. If not on Monday, it'll be some other time this week.
We are almost completely ready! Really, if the baby came now we would be ready. It's just my super-organized nesting part that wants us to get a few more things before he comes.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Sleeping in a Chair
On Wednesday evening Justin and I picked up my rocker/recliner chair that has been in my grandparents' basement since 2007. I've been talking about wanting to pick it up ever since I started experiencing hip pain back in the fall. I've been wanting to try sleeping in it. Lying on my side is extremely painful for my hips, and it is now 400 times worse because of my pubic bone injury.
For whatever reason, nighttime is the worst time for pain in that area. It's the side-lying. It does something to the pubic bone that causes it to majorly seize up. I can't walk when I go to the bathroom at night (I have to use crutches), and any slight movement while I'm lying down is horrible. It honestly makes me cry. Everytime I move my entire pelvic ring (tailbone, hip bones, and pubic bone) clicks and pops painfully after I've been side lying. It takes a long time to recover from that level of pain (and go back down to your normal level of pain) once morning comes.
We haven't been at my grandparent's since then, so it never happened. On Wednesday we finally got it, but Justin was training that night and didn't take it out of the Jeep. Yesterday he took it out, so we rearranged our bedroom furniture and put it beside the bed.
I don't know if it was just a fluke, but sleeping in that chair gave me a completely different sleep than sleeping on my side in bed. I thought I wouldn't sleep that well, but I was sleeping horribly anyway (honestly, it can't get any worse than only getting a few hours a night total, and waking up every 45 minutes and peeing every hour), and this way I wouldn't be in excruciating pain.
Because I didn't anticipate being able to fall asleep easily in the chair, I started out the night in bed. I slept for an hour, then had to pee. I painfully got out of bed and cracked, clicked, popped, and crutched my way to the bathroom, just like normal. I then cracked, clicked, popped, and crutched my way back to bed, where I proceeded to get onto my other side (amidst gasps and tears of pain) and eventually fell asleep.
One hour later, repeat the previous sequence.
After that I decided to try out the chair. I got my pillows, put earplugs in (on top of everything else that causes me not to sleep, any slight noise makes my brain jolt awake. I've always been like that. Aren't I lucky?), situated myself, and fell asleep relatively quickly. I woke up a few times, but didn't have any pain that caused me to have to change positions (not that you can on a chair), and didn't have the extremely strong urge to pee. I actually was able to stay in the chair sleeping most of the time, for 2 1/2 hours before peeing again. After that I made it until 6:10am before Justin's alarm went off and I had to pee again. Granted, I woke up probably 4 or 5 times during that next 2 1/2 hours, but I didn't wake up from pain or from having to pee. I just woke up because I'm a crappy sleeper.
So I only peed 3 times during my actual night of sleeping (bookmarked on either end by me peeing right before bed and right when I woke up), and this morning I could actually walk without the crutches. It still hurts, but not like it normally does in the morning.
The only issue with the chair is that my back hurts. Justin said it must be because I'm reclining backwards about 45 degrees and I have all these extra weight from my belly that's putting pressure on my back.
But you know what? I can deal with the back pain. It's not nearly as horrible as the pelvic girdle pain I deal with.
Hopefully tonight will have similar results!
For whatever reason, nighttime is the worst time for pain in that area. It's the side-lying. It does something to the pubic bone that causes it to majorly seize up. I can't walk when I go to the bathroom at night (I have to use crutches), and any slight movement while I'm lying down is horrible. It honestly makes me cry. Everytime I move my entire pelvic ring (tailbone, hip bones, and pubic bone) clicks and pops painfully after I've been side lying. It takes a long time to recover from that level of pain (and go back down to your normal level of pain) once morning comes.
We haven't been at my grandparent's since then, so it never happened. On Wednesday we finally got it, but Justin was training that night and didn't take it out of the Jeep. Yesterday he took it out, so we rearranged our bedroom furniture and put it beside the bed.
I don't know if it was just a fluke, but sleeping in that chair gave me a completely different sleep than sleeping on my side in bed. I thought I wouldn't sleep that well, but I was sleeping horribly anyway (honestly, it can't get any worse than only getting a few hours a night total, and waking up every 45 minutes and peeing every hour), and this way I wouldn't be in excruciating pain.
Because I didn't anticipate being able to fall asleep easily in the chair, I started out the night in bed. I slept for an hour, then had to pee. I painfully got out of bed and cracked, clicked, popped, and crutched my way to the bathroom, just like normal. I then cracked, clicked, popped, and crutched my way back to bed, where I proceeded to get onto my other side (amidst gasps and tears of pain) and eventually fell asleep.
One hour later, repeat the previous sequence.
After that I decided to try out the chair. I got my pillows, put earplugs in (on top of everything else that causes me not to sleep, any slight noise makes my brain jolt awake. I've always been like that. Aren't I lucky?), situated myself, and fell asleep relatively quickly. I woke up a few times, but didn't have any pain that caused me to have to change positions (not that you can on a chair), and didn't have the extremely strong urge to pee. I actually was able to stay in the chair sleeping most of the time, for 2 1/2 hours before peeing again. After that I made it until 6:10am before Justin's alarm went off and I had to pee again. Granted, I woke up probably 4 or 5 times during that next 2 1/2 hours, but I didn't wake up from pain or from having to pee. I just woke up because I'm a crappy sleeper.
So I only peed 3 times during my actual night of sleeping (bookmarked on either end by me peeing right before bed and right when I woke up), and this morning I could actually walk without the crutches. It still hurts, but not like it normally does in the morning.
The only issue with the chair is that my back hurts. Justin said it must be because I'm reclining backwards about 45 degrees and I have all these extra weight from my belly that's putting pressure on my back.
But you know what? I can deal with the back pain. It's not nearly as horrible as the pelvic girdle pain I deal with.
Hopefully tonight will have similar results!
Hospital Pre-Registration
On Wednesday Justin and I went to our hospital pre-admission registration appointment. I really liked the nurse who was going through everything with us. I feel like I got all my questions answered. Whether or not they were answered to my satisfaction is another story, but that wasn't her fault.
I like my OB as a person, but the appointment confirmed my fears about him. I had an idea that he was the kind of doctor who does what he wants, regardless of what you want. I got this impression because at my appointments with him he never tells me any details about anything. He never tells me what I measure unless I ask; he doesn't calculate the heart rate, he just listens to it to make sure it sounds normal; when he does a cervix check he only tells you whether you're in labour or not (forget finding out about effacement, dilation, or the station of the baby).
Apparently my impression is reality. He is The Doctor, and he will do what he wants to do. He does routine episiotomies, breaks your water with very little warning (and no asking if you want him to break it), gives two routine doses of pitocin during the second and third stage of labour (one with the shoulders, one for the placenta). He won't close a c-section with stitches, he'll only use staples. Etc. etc.
There is actually a pretty good chance that I won't have him for my delivery, unless I'm induced. In my town there are 5 OBs, and unless you're delivering during your own OB's office hours, the OB on call delivers your baby. The nurse said that the other OBs are much more flexible and willing to listen to and accommodate the mother. But she said in case I do have my OB, I need to talk to him about certain parts of my birth plan so that these things aren't sprung on him at the last minute. I guess he doesn't like that.
I have a feeling my birth isn't going to go the way I want it to go and the way I've prepared for it to go. It's just the feeling I have, and I have a good basis for that.
1. My OB is very old school, and routinely does things that I don't want him to do.
2. I have to give birth in a hospital because I couldn't get a midwife.
3. I have this horrible pubic bone injury that causes me so much pain, and I won't be able to use all the techniques and positions that I was hoping to use during labour and delivery because of it.
4. My bursitis will cause similar problems.
5. I wanted to labour at home for as long as possible before going into the hospital. Now I'm afraid to do that, because of what happened when my good friend was giving birth this past Tuesday. Her baby ended up in major distress and her heart rate plummeted with every contraction. They ended up doing an emergency c-section (I'm talking emergency, as in no time for an epidural to take effect, belly prepped and scalpels ready before she was even knocked out) and it took the doctors 2 minutes to get the baby breathing after she was born.
I really really want a totally natural, drug free labour. Now I'm afraid that won't happen because of the extra pain that I'm already experiencing and because doctors just do what they want, regardless of your feelings.
I feel defeated already. I'm trying to adjust my expectations, because I am 100% positive that things aren't going to go my way.
I like my OB as a person, but the appointment confirmed my fears about him. I had an idea that he was the kind of doctor who does what he wants, regardless of what you want. I got this impression because at my appointments with him he never tells me any details about anything. He never tells me what I measure unless I ask; he doesn't calculate the heart rate, he just listens to it to make sure it sounds normal; when he does a cervix check he only tells you whether you're in labour or not (forget finding out about effacement, dilation, or the station of the baby).
Apparently my impression is reality. He is The Doctor, and he will do what he wants to do. He does routine episiotomies, breaks your water with very little warning (and no asking if you want him to break it), gives two routine doses of pitocin during the second and third stage of labour (one with the shoulders, one for the placenta). He won't close a c-section with stitches, he'll only use staples. Etc. etc.
There is actually a pretty good chance that I won't have him for my delivery, unless I'm induced. In my town there are 5 OBs, and unless you're delivering during your own OB's office hours, the OB on call delivers your baby. The nurse said that the other OBs are much more flexible and willing to listen to and accommodate the mother. But she said in case I do have my OB, I need to talk to him about certain parts of my birth plan so that these things aren't sprung on him at the last minute. I guess he doesn't like that.
I have a feeling my birth isn't going to go the way I want it to go and the way I've prepared for it to go. It's just the feeling I have, and I have a good basis for that.
1. My OB is very old school, and routinely does things that I don't want him to do.
2. I have to give birth in a hospital because I couldn't get a midwife.
3. I have this horrible pubic bone injury that causes me so much pain, and I won't be able to use all the techniques and positions that I was hoping to use during labour and delivery because of it.
4. My bursitis will cause similar problems.
5. I wanted to labour at home for as long as possible before going into the hospital. Now I'm afraid to do that, because of what happened when my good friend was giving birth this past Tuesday. Her baby ended up in major distress and her heart rate plummeted with every contraction. They ended up doing an emergency c-section (I'm talking emergency, as in no time for an epidural to take effect, belly prepped and scalpels ready before she was even knocked out) and it took the doctors 2 minutes to get the baby breathing after she was born.
I really really want a totally natural, drug free labour. Now I'm afraid that won't happen because of the extra pain that I'm already experiencing and because doctors just do what they want, regardless of your feelings.
I feel defeated already. I'm trying to adjust my expectations, because I am 100% positive that things aren't going to go my way.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
OB Appointment, Mucus Plus, Hospital Bag, and Registry Stuff
35 weeks 1 day
I had my 35 week OB appointment today. I gained 1.5 lbs in the past 2 weeks, and my blood pressure and urine were fine. I was wondering if they would be because for the past two weeks I have been excessively thirsty. Crazily thirsty. Way more thirsty than I've ever been in my life. I drink two huge glasses of water overnight every night, and then a whole glass as soon as I wake up. I used to drink about half a glass overnight. I know that the drinking doesn't help with the peeing (which I do 6-7 times each night) and getting up to pee is excruciatingly painful for me. I have to use crutches to get to the bathroom because I absolutely cannot walk. I can barely get out of bed, actually. But man, if I don't drink I can't sleep. My thirst drives me to distraction. I looked it up, and excessive thrist can be a sign of gestational diabetes. But my urine was fine, and at 27 weeks my GD test was fine, so I guess I'm fine!
The little munchkin has dropped considerably. This whole pregnancy I measured a week ahead. Now this week I measured a week behind. Which means that he has moved down enough to put me 2cm off of my regular growth. My OB said that measuring at this point in the pregnancy just gives him something to do, because if the baby starts dropping the measurements mean nothing. He checked it out and said he could feel the baby's head no problem. So I guess I will never make it to a 40 week measurement! I probably will never make it to even 38cm. It's funny though, because you would never guess by looking at me. I'm bigger than a lot of people who are 40 weeks. I was bigger than my friend who was 42 weeks! Everyone has been thinking I'm ready to go since I was about 32 weeks. I'm just very protuberant.
For a few days I've been having globs of cervical mucus, which I haven't had this entire pregnancy. Then today it was a brown glob, along with regular CM that was tinged with brown. I told my OB and he said I'm starting to lose my mucus plug. I know this means very little, since the plug can regenerate itself. It doesn't mean I'm going into labour or that I'm close to going into labour. But I still find it interesting.
For several hours today, including the hour that I was waiting for the OB (he was delivering a baby and then had to play catch up) I was having contractions every 3 minutes. I didn't think I was in labour or anything, but it occurred to me that any one of these appointments I could go in there with contractions and be told that I'm in labour (that's how it happened with my mom) - and I don't have my hospital bag packed!!
I imagined the mess Justin would make of trying to pack me a bag (no offense hunny, I know you would try your best, but a man just isn't capable of packing a woman's bag), and how many things I would be missing. So I decided to stop procrastinating and get the thing packed. It's not 100% finished, and I need to make a list of last-minute add-ons to put on top of the bags, but I'm doing pretty good now.
I got very excited when I checked my registry this evening. Somebody bought my breast pump!!! I had that on the list of things that I was going to have to pick up next week, before the baby comes, but somebody bought it for us, along with a twin pack of 4 oz bottles, a twin pack of 9 oz bottles, and a pack of reusable nursing pads. I am very excited.
I only have one inkling of who might have bought it. Justin's aunt asked him the other day if we had any larger items that we still needed, like a high chair or play pen or something. Justin told her he'd ask me, but he's pretty sure we have all of those big items (which we do). The only "big" thing we still needed was the breast pump (if you call $70 a big item). So I told my mother-in-law that it would be great if Mary could buy us the breast pump. I only suggested it because Mary specifically wanted us to tell her what to buy.
My mother in law seemed to think that was innappropriate, and that it was too personal of a gift for someone to buy me. I disagree completely. I'm not asking someone to pick one OUT for me. I already did that! But she wanted to buy us something we needed, and that's something we need! I don't see what the big deal is there. If I was going to spend that much money on a shower gift I would have no problem buying someone a breast pump. I told my mother-in-law as much (and tried not to feel ridiculous for suggesting it in the first place).
So I don't know if it was Mary who bought it. But whoever it was, I deeply appreciate it! I can't wait to find out who it was!
I had my 35 week OB appointment today. I gained 1.5 lbs in the past 2 weeks, and my blood pressure and urine were fine. I was wondering if they would be because for the past two weeks I have been excessively thirsty. Crazily thirsty. Way more thirsty than I've ever been in my life. I drink two huge glasses of water overnight every night, and then a whole glass as soon as I wake up. I used to drink about half a glass overnight. I know that the drinking doesn't help with the peeing (which I do 6-7 times each night) and getting up to pee is excruciatingly painful for me. I have to use crutches to get to the bathroom because I absolutely cannot walk. I can barely get out of bed, actually. But man, if I don't drink I can't sleep. My thirst drives me to distraction. I looked it up, and excessive thrist can be a sign of gestational diabetes. But my urine was fine, and at 27 weeks my GD test was fine, so I guess I'm fine!
The little munchkin has dropped considerably. This whole pregnancy I measured a week ahead. Now this week I measured a week behind. Which means that he has moved down enough to put me 2cm off of my regular growth. My OB said that measuring at this point in the pregnancy just gives him something to do, because if the baby starts dropping the measurements mean nothing. He checked it out and said he could feel the baby's head no problem. So I guess I will never make it to a 40 week measurement! I probably will never make it to even 38cm. It's funny though, because you would never guess by looking at me. I'm bigger than a lot of people who are 40 weeks. I was bigger than my friend who was 42 weeks! Everyone has been thinking I'm ready to go since I was about 32 weeks. I'm just very protuberant.
For a few days I've been having globs of cervical mucus, which I haven't had this entire pregnancy. Then today it was a brown glob, along with regular CM that was tinged with brown. I told my OB and he said I'm starting to lose my mucus plug. I know this means very little, since the plug can regenerate itself. It doesn't mean I'm going into labour or that I'm close to going into labour. But I still find it interesting.
For several hours today, including the hour that I was waiting for the OB (he was delivering a baby and then had to play catch up) I was having contractions every 3 minutes. I didn't think I was in labour or anything, but it occurred to me that any one of these appointments I could go in there with contractions and be told that I'm in labour (that's how it happened with my mom) - and I don't have my hospital bag packed!!
I imagined the mess Justin would make of trying to pack me a bag (no offense hunny, I know you would try your best, but a man just isn't capable of packing a woman's bag), and how many things I would be missing. So I decided to stop procrastinating and get the thing packed. It's not 100% finished, and I need to make a list of last-minute add-ons to put on top of the bags, but I'm doing pretty good now.
I got very excited when I checked my registry this evening. Somebody bought my breast pump!!! I had that on the list of things that I was going to have to pick up next week, before the baby comes, but somebody bought it for us, along with a twin pack of 4 oz bottles, a twin pack of 9 oz bottles, and a pack of reusable nursing pads. I am very excited.
I only have one inkling of who might have bought it. Justin's aunt asked him the other day if we had any larger items that we still needed, like a high chair or play pen or something. Justin told her he'd ask me, but he's pretty sure we have all of those big items (which we do). The only "big" thing we still needed was the breast pump (if you call $70 a big item). So I told my mother-in-law that it would be great if Mary could buy us the breast pump. I only suggested it because Mary specifically wanted us to tell her what to buy.
My mother in law seemed to think that was innappropriate, and that it was too personal of a gift for someone to buy me. I disagree completely. I'm not asking someone to pick one OUT for me. I already did that! But she wanted to buy us something we needed, and that's something we need! I don't see what the big deal is there. If I was going to spend that much money on a shower gift I would have no problem buying someone a breast pump. I told my mother-in-law as much (and tried not to feel ridiculous for suggesting it in the first place).
So I don't know if it was Mary who bought it. But whoever it was, I deeply appreciate it! I can't wait to find out who it was!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Big Baby Shower #1
I had my second baby shower yesterday. It was the second shower, but the first big shower (the first one had about 10 people at it). This was the shower I was most looking forward to because it was for all the people I know, not people I know through marriage. It was so much fun to see everyone. The day passed by way too quickly.
We got some really awesome stuff, some of it things that I never would have bought with our own money, but was really hoping other people would buy for us. The major things were:
-Triple Fun Exersaucer, which comes apart and has three different stages from infant (before they're allowed in an exersaucer) to baby to toddler.
-Convertible carseat
-Bumbo
-Bath centre
-Snugli
-Sleepy Wrap
We also got some practical things that I really wanted, but people seem to have issues buying practical things. Practical gifts I really appreciated were things like:
-Waterproof mattress pad
-Stroller/playpen bugnet
-Diapers
-bottles (not nearly enough)
-sippy cups (not nearly enough)
-extra crib sheets (not nearly enough)
-burp cloths
-receiving blankets
-bibs
We also got a couple of nice blankets. One was a white knitted one that is so beautiful and will be perfect for the baby's baptism. We got books (which I love) and a couple of cute toys. We got more hooded towels, some of which I'm considering returning (just way too expensive considering all the other necessities we still have to get), and more washclothes, which brings our total to at least 50, so I'm returning those as well.
The main problem with people knowing the sex of your baby is that you get too many clothes. The receiving of clothes would be totally fine, except for the fact that almost none of the clothes we got will be seasonally appropriate when the baby fits into them. People tried to make them seasonally appropriate, but they didn't consider the fact that just because it says 6-9 months doesn't mean it actually fits the baby when he's 6-9 months. Same with 12 months. We got all these winter outfits that will fit our child when it's hot out. It was really disappointing, because they were cute clothes. And unfortunately, there was only one outfit that I can actually return. Everything else was from places way far away from here, or I had no idea where they were from.
My biggest pet peeve right now is companies that that size their clothing completely wrong.
I have another shower next Saturday, and unfortunately there are very few items bought off my registry that I haven't already received. It's going to be a pretty big shower, but hardly anyone will pay any attention to the registry. I'm expecting more clothes. I love clothes, but I'm frustrated by the fact that I'm sure they will be seasonally inappropriate, just like almost everything I got yesterday. But maybe these clothes will be from recognizable stores, so I can exchange or return them.
Here's hoping!
We got some really awesome stuff, some of it things that I never would have bought with our own money, but was really hoping other people would buy for us. The major things were:
-Triple Fun Exersaucer, which comes apart and has three different stages from infant (before they're allowed in an exersaucer) to baby to toddler.
-Convertible carseat
-Bumbo
-Bath centre
-Snugli
-Sleepy Wrap
We also got some practical things that I really wanted, but people seem to have issues buying practical things. Practical gifts I really appreciated were things like:
-Waterproof mattress pad
-Stroller/playpen bugnet
-Diapers
-bottles (not nearly enough)
-sippy cups (not nearly enough)
-extra crib sheets (not nearly enough)
-burp cloths
-receiving blankets
-bibs
We also got a couple of nice blankets. One was a white knitted one that is so beautiful and will be perfect for the baby's baptism. We got books (which I love) and a couple of cute toys. We got more hooded towels, some of which I'm considering returning (just way too expensive considering all the other necessities we still have to get), and more washclothes, which brings our total to at least 50, so I'm returning those as well.
The main problem with people knowing the sex of your baby is that you get too many clothes. The receiving of clothes would be totally fine, except for the fact that almost none of the clothes we got will be seasonally appropriate when the baby fits into them. People tried to make them seasonally appropriate, but they didn't consider the fact that just because it says 6-9 months doesn't mean it actually fits the baby when he's 6-9 months. Same with 12 months. We got all these winter outfits that will fit our child when it's hot out. It was really disappointing, because they were cute clothes. And unfortunately, there was only one outfit that I can actually return. Everything else was from places way far away from here, or I had no idea where they were from.
My biggest pet peeve right now is companies that that size their clothing completely wrong.
I have another shower next Saturday, and unfortunately there are very few items bought off my registry that I haven't already received. It's going to be a pretty big shower, but hardly anyone will pay any attention to the registry. I'm expecting more clothes. I love clothes, but I'm frustrated by the fact that I'm sure they will be seasonally inappropriate, just like almost everything I got yesterday. But maybe these clothes will be from recognizable stores, so I can exchange or return them.
Here's hoping!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Wonderful Shopping Trip
Despite my incredible pelvic pain, my 9-day-overdue neighbour and I decided to go over to the states shopping today. I wanted to return some 0-3 month baby clothes I had bought over there. I also wanted to buy nursing sleep bras, and go to Target to get my breast pump (which was almost half price) and diapers, which are sooo much cheaper over there.
I was obviously able to return the baby clothes, and got $55 back. I then proceeded to spend $114 on more baby clothes, but these ones were all much bigger. Mostly 6-9 month stuff, but some 12 month stuff as well. For $114 I got:
6 sleepers
6 long-sleeved onesies
10 short-sleeved onesies
4 pairs of shorts for the summer
3 adorable t-shirts for the summer
1 pair of pants
That's a lot of clothes.
I then got 2 nursing sleep bras, 1 more regular nursing bra (I think I need at least 3 for daytime, and I only had 2), and a larger strapless bra for under my bridesmaid's dress in May, all for $65. Over here I would have paid far over $100.
Then we went to Target and I bought a whole pile of diapers. A 100 pack of Pampers was $16.99. Here, a 78 pack is $21.99. So I bought 400 diapers. Which will only last 5-6 weeks, tops.
I also bought wipes. Over here, a pack of 184 wipes is $8.99. I got 504 wipes for $11.99. Massive difference.
I then bought a bunch of Johnson and Johnson baby shampoo, lotion, baby powder, and diaper rash cream. Every one of those items was half the price that it is here.
Unfortunately, Target didn't have my breast pump. So I'm going to have to pay full price for it here. Sadness.
I am incredibly sore, but I am that much closer to being ready for this baby to arrive. The only other things I need to buy before he comes are:
-breast pump
-nursing pads
-heavy duty pads (for me obviously, not for him)
Everything else we need I already know we're getting for our showers, or we can do without for awhile. I didn't want to buy the nursing or sanitary pads over in the states because the price was about even, and with the exchange rate I would have come out a little worse off. So I'll just get them sometime in the very near future, so that I'm all ready for this little one to make his debut.
It's so exciting to be getting so close!
I was obviously able to return the baby clothes, and got $55 back. I then proceeded to spend $114 on more baby clothes, but these ones were all much bigger. Mostly 6-9 month stuff, but some 12 month stuff as well. For $114 I got:
6 sleepers
6 long-sleeved onesies
10 short-sleeved onesies
4 pairs of shorts for the summer
3 adorable t-shirts for the summer
1 pair of pants
That's a lot of clothes.
I then got 2 nursing sleep bras, 1 more regular nursing bra (I think I need at least 3 for daytime, and I only had 2), and a larger strapless bra for under my bridesmaid's dress in May, all for $65. Over here I would have paid far over $100.
Then we went to Target and I bought a whole pile of diapers. A 100 pack of Pampers was $16.99. Here, a 78 pack is $21.99. So I bought 400 diapers. Which will only last 5-6 weeks, tops.
I also bought wipes. Over here, a pack of 184 wipes is $8.99. I got 504 wipes for $11.99. Massive difference.
I then bought a bunch of Johnson and Johnson baby shampoo, lotion, baby powder, and diaper rash cream. Every one of those items was half the price that it is here.
Unfortunately, Target didn't have my breast pump. So I'm going to have to pay full price for it here. Sadness.
I am incredibly sore, but I am that much closer to being ready for this baby to arrive. The only other things I need to buy before he comes are:
-breast pump
-nursing pads
-heavy duty pads (for me obviously, not for him)
Everything else we need I already know we're getting for our showers, or we can do without for awhile. I didn't want to buy the nursing or sanitary pads over in the states because the price was about even, and with the exchange rate I would have come out a little worse off. So I'll just get them sometime in the very near future, so that I'm all ready for this little one to make his debut.
It's so exciting to be getting so close!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
I Hope My Chiropractor is Psychic
Today I found out that my chiropractor is closed during March Break. I was alarmed by this, because March break is my 39th week. Chiropractic care is very helpful in not allowing women to go overdue. So I joked (half seriously) to my chiropractor "You have 3 1/2 weeks to put me into labour." He replied that I will have already gone into labour. His prediction (he thought about the exact dates for awhile) is that I'll give birth sometime between March 7 and March 14th. I'm 37 weeks on March 8, so I would be thrilled with that. I told him I'd buy him a present if he's right. I hope he is. Regardless, it put me into a good mood thinking that I might give birth about 3 weeks from now.
I have a baby shower this Saturday and next Saturday, so I've been watching my registries pretty closely. I double-registered for some things at different stores, because I didn't know which store people would go to, and certain things I really need! I've been watching closely everyday to make sure that the things I double registered for get taken off the other registry immediately.
I've been a little concerned because the first of these showers is in less than 3 days now (if you're counting hours), and not a lot had been bought off my registry. This past weekend only one person went out and bought things. People had been out the weekend before, but considering there are almost 50 people coming to the 2 showers (that are both occuring within the next week and a half), not a lot of stuff had been bought. The reason this concerns me is because this either means people are procrastinating (which is fine), or they're not even looking at my registry and just buying whatever they want. This means we'll have to put out a lot of money for necessities.
Well, today finally two more major things got bought. A diaper bag, and my 3-in-1 carseat - which was $209.99... I have NO idea who would spend that! Maybe a few people went in together. I guess I'll find out.
There is already one thing bought that I'm almost 100% confident I'm going to return - our $60 mobile. I don't think we'll really use it, and I definitely don't think it's worth $60, so I'm probably going to return it and buy other things off the registry that people don't get for us.
I might also return the diaper bag. I already got one at the second hand store, I just registered for this one because it seems like it has so many awesome compartments. My neighbour got the same one and loves it... although her child isn't born yet, so it's hard to say for sure. The reviews on it are mixed. Some people love it, some people hate it. It seems to be that way with every diaper bag, so I'll see how I feel after I get it and poke around. It looks extremely sturdy, so the zipper comments surprise me.
I'm very excited for my showers. I can't wait to see everyone and to get everything and finish up getting ready for Bambino. I decided I'm not returning any of the sleepers or onesies I bought, so I'm washing some as soon as I do more laundry. I'm just waiting to wash some of the onesies because if we get duplicates of those, then I'll return the ones I bought. That might sound like a long shot, but we actually ended up having someone buy us the exact same onesies in 3-6 months that we had already gotten for ourselves in 0-3 months (and we went to the U.S. to buy them!). That's fine, because they're different sizes, but I don't need the exact same onesies in the exact same size. So I'll hold out on washing those until after the showers are over.
I have a baby shower this Saturday and next Saturday, so I've been watching my registries pretty closely. I double-registered for some things at different stores, because I didn't know which store people would go to, and certain things I really need! I've been watching closely everyday to make sure that the things I double registered for get taken off the other registry immediately.
I've been a little concerned because the first of these showers is in less than 3 days now (if you're counting hours), and not a lot had been bought off my registry. This past weekend only one person went out and bought things. People had been out the weekend before, but considering there are almost 50 people coming to the 2 showers (that are both occuring within the next week and a half), not a lot of stuff had been bought. The reason this concerns me is because this either means people are procrastinating (which is fine), or they're not even looking at my registry and just buying whatever they want. This means we'll have to put out a lot of money for necessities.
Well, today finally two more major things got bought. A diaper bag, and my 3-in-1 carseat - which was $209.99... I have NO idea who would spend that! Maybe a few people went in together. I guess I'll find out.
There is already one thing bought that I'm almost 100% confident I'm going to return - our $60 mobile. I don't think we'll really use it, and I definitely don't think it's worth $60, so I'm probably going to return it and buy other things off the registry that people don't get for us.
I might also return the diaper bag. I already got one at the second hand store, I just registered for this one because it seems like it has so many awesome compartments. My neighbour got the same one and loves it... although her child isn't born yet, so it's hard to say for sure. The reviews on it are mixed. Some people love it, some people hate it. It seems to be that way with every diaper bag, so I'll see how I feel after I get it and poke around. It looks extremely sturdy, so the zipper comments surprise me.
I'm very excited for my showers. I can't wait to see everyone and to get everything and finish up getting ready for Bambino. I decided I'm not returning any of the sleepers or onesies I bought, so I'm washing some as soon as I do more laundry. I'm just waiting to wash some of the onesies because if we get duplicates of those, then I'll return the ones I bought. That might sound like a long shot, but we actually ended up having someone buy us the exact same onesies in 3-6 months that we had already gotten for ourselves in 0-3 months (and we went to the U.S. to buy them!). That's fine, because they're different sizes, but I don't need the exact same onesies in the exact same size. So I'll hold out on washing those until after the showers are over.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Owww
I am contracting like CRAZY. I always get a ton of braxton hicks everyday (upwards of 50), but I am not kidding, I must have had 50 just in the last 2 1/2 hours. They're non stop. And they switch between strong ones that are every 6 or 7 minutes to milder ones that are every 3 or 4 minutes. I'm sick of it! Unless this is preparing me to deliver right at 37 weeks, I want it to stop!
My pubic bone is also in crazy crazy pain today. Usually in the middle of the day if I've been resting (sitting down, not lying down, that actually makes it worse once I get up) I can walk relatively normally. Not today! I bet today is the worst I've felt, save for the actual day of the injury (and maybe the day afterward).
When I saw my chiropractor today (hadn't seen him since Friday) he said "Dropping more, eh?" Well I better be! If there's not a physiological reason for this increased pain, I will go insane.
Who am I kidding? I'm already going insane.
On the brightside, my mom came and cleaned my house again for the third time. She brought with her kitchen garbage bags (she doesn't like ours), cleaners that she likes (which are to stay here), 4 brand new microfibre cloths, and a chocolate bar. Did I mention she also bought us this really great dry duster/mop type thing a few weeks ago? She's so awesome. I don't know what I'd do without her. I'd have a much dirtier house, that's for sure!
On the WSIB front... they've messed up again. They overpaid my work by 4 days when they were trying to reimburse them for my time off, so somehow I have to get another cheque from my work. But my work has to figure out the per day rate and then pay me. And of course they didn't call me about it, I had to call them. I wonder if they were hoping I wouldn't notice.
It was so stupid of WSIB to make that mistake in the first place. And because of it, I'm not slated to get a cheque from them for quite some time. I was told the 22nd on the phone (which means I won't get it until probably the 26th), but my work said they were told the 18th. I believe what I heard firsthand. Nobody from WSIB is calling me back, so I can't really figure out what's going on.
I'm tired of dealing with people. I'm off to watch more Olympics. If we had junk food, I would eat it, too. Why do we have to be so friggin healthy?!
My pubic bone is also in crazy crazy pain today. Usually in the middle of the day if I've been resting (sitting down, not lying down, that actually makes it worse once I get up) I can walk relatively normally. Not today! I bet today is the worst I've felt, save for the actual day of the injury (and maybe the day afterward).
When I saw my chiropractor today (hadn't seen him since Friday) he said "Dropping more, eh?" Well I better be! If there's not a physiological reason for this increased pain, I will go insane.
Who am I kidding? I'm already going insane.
On the brightside, my mom came and cleaned my house again for the third time. She brought with her kitchen garbage bags (she doesn't like ours), cleaners that she likes (which are to stay here), 4 brand new microfibre cloths, and a chocolate bar. Did I mention she also bought us this really great dry duster/mop type thing a few weeks ago? She's so awesome. I don't know what I'd do without her. I'd have a much dirtier house, that's for sure!
On the WSIB front... they've messed up again. They overpaid my work by 4 days when they were trying to reimburse them for my time off, so somehow I have to get another cheque from my work. But my work has to figure out the per day rate and then pay me. And of course they didn't call me about it, I had to call them. I wonder if they were hoping I wouldn't notice.
It was so stupid of WSIB to make that mistake in the first place. And because of it, I'm not slated to get a cheque from them for quite some time. I was told the 22nd on the phone (which means I won't get it until probably the 26th), but my work said they were told the 18th. I believe what I heard firsthand. Nobody from WSIB is calling me back, so I can't really figure out what's going on.
I'm tired of dealing with people. I'm off to watch more Olympics. If we had junk food, I would eat it, too. Why do we have to be so friggin healthy?!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Pregnancy and Pictures at 34 Weeks
How far along: 34 weeks
Total weight gain: 13 lbs since 8 weeks.
Stretch marks?: The tops of some of the stretch marks on my sides are either reddening or growing. Probably growing. I have 3 little red spots on both of my sides. And just in the past couple of days I got two tiny little stretch marks on the top and bottom of my belly-button ring hole. They're not very noticeable, and that's the tightest skin on my belly, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. But I'm still not pleased! I'm afraid of what will happen stretch-mark-wise over the next 6 weeks.
Sleep: Terrible. My pubic bone hurts the most at night (I have to use crutches to go to the washroom 6 times a night), and my hip pain is getting worse. It hurts to lie still, but it KILLS to try and change positions because of my pubic bone. I'm also excessively thirsty all night, which doesn't help with the peeing. On top of it all, I usually spend a good 2 hours awake each night.
Best moments this week: I guess this was last week, but Justin actually heard Bambino having hiccups through my belly. My belly wasn't moving with them either, I could just feel it really low down on my cervix, so he wasn't cheating! Everytime I felt a jump on my cervix, Justin heard a little glub.
Food cravings: Anything that's not good for me.
Sex: Boy
Labor signs?: I'm about 2 cm dilated and have about 50 Braxton Hicks everyday (although they do seem to have eased up a tiny bit since I've been off work). The baby has also dropped a little bit, but not all the way.
New Symptoms: I don't think there's anything new. Just the same old stuff: insomnia, hip pain, pubic bone pain, baby's bum and feet in my ribs, dizziness, trouble breathing sometimes, the occasional leg or foot cramp (these have lessened), fatigue, and being exceptionally warm at night time. The only thing new is that this week my pelvis has started to click and pop when I try to walk after lying down. But not in my hip area, in the pubic symphisis area.
Belly Button: Popped. And getting tiny stretch marks.
What I miss the most: Living pain free. And being able to take ibuprofen and various other pain medications.
What I am looking forward to the most: Baby showers in 5 days and 12 days. I'm excited to see people! I also can't wait for them to be over so we can finish up all the preparations for the baby being here. I want to know what we still need to buy, but won't know until after the showers.
Milestones: 34 weeks is apparently a great milestone for premie babies. Once a baby is 34 weeks or past they usually have way less complications than the babies born from 30-33 weeks, and usually nothing permanent.
Total weight gain: 13 lbs since 8 weeks.
Stretch marks?: The tops of some of the stretch marks on my sides are either reddening or growing. Probably growing. I have 3 little red spots on both of my sides. And just in the past couple of days I got two tiny little stretch marks on the top and bottom of my belly-button ring hole. They're not very noticeable, and that's the tightest skin on my belly, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. But I'm still not pleased! I'm afraid of what will happen stretch-mark-wise over the next 6 weeks.
Sleep: Terrible. My pubic bone hurts the most at night (I have to use crutches to go to the washroom 6 times a night), and my hip pain is getting worse. It hurts to lie still, but it KILLS to try and change positions because of my pubic bone. I'm also excessively thirsty all night, which doesn't help with the peeing. On top of it all, I usually spend a good 2 hours awake each night.
Best moments this week: I guess this was last week, but Justin actually heard Bambino having hiccups through my belly. My belly wasn't moving with them either, I could just feel it really low down on my cervix, so he wasn't cheating! Everytime I felt a jump on my cervix, Justin heard a little glub.
Food cravings: Anything that's not good for me.
Sex: Boy
Labor signs?: I'm about 2 cm dilated and have about 50 Braxton Hicks everyday (although they do seem to have eased up a tiny bit since I've been off work). The baby has also dropped a little bit, but not all the way.
New Symptoms: I don't think there's anything new. Just the same old stuff: insomnia, hip pain, pubic bone pain, baby's bum and feet in my ribs, dizziness, trouble breathing sometimes, the occasional leg or foot cramp (these have lessened), fatigue, and being exceptionally warm at night time. The only thing new is that this week my pelvis has started to click and pop when I try to walk after lying down. But not in my hip area, in the pubic symphisis area.
Belly Button: Popped. And getting tiny stretch marks.
What I miss the most: Living pain free. And being able to take ibuprofen and various other pain medications.
What I am looking forward to the most: Baby showers in 5 days and 12 days. I'm excited to see people! I also can't wait for them to be over so we can finish up all the preparations for the baby being here. I want to know what we still need to buy, but won't know until after the showers.
Milestones: 34 weeks is apparently a great milestone for premie babies. Once a baby is 34 weeks or past they usually have way less complications than the babies born from 30-33 weeks, and usually nothing permanent.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Saturday Nesting at 34 Weeks
I was never able to have that nap I spoke about on Thursday. Shortly after I posted my work called and I found out that they are no longer going to be paying me; instead, WSIB will be paying me directly. This is fine, except for the fact that I have absolutely no idea when I will get paid by WSIB, or how much it will be. I was counting on a paycheque from my school on Friday, and now I have no idea when I'll get one.
I called my case manager immediately after I found this out to try and figure out the logistics of everything. It is now Saturday and he never called me back. They are supposed to get back to you within 8 business hours. Now I'll have to wait until Tuesday (if he even calls me back then), because Monday is a holiday. This all only reinforces my dislike of this person.
On to other things...
This morning hubby and I got a bunch of stuff done, stuff that had been waiting to be done for quite some time, and needed to be done before the baby comes, otherwise it will be even longer before it gets done.
-I cleaned out a wicker basket and magazine holder that were in our office. Now the magazine holder actually holds magazines in our bathroom and the wicker basket is in Bambino's room, waiting to hold some of his stuff.
-I cleaned off and organzied the top of my dresser... it was an absolute mess.
-We re-arranged the furniture in the upstairs guest bedroom to a layout that provides us with more concentrated floor space. I thought this would be a good idea because we'll be keeping baby stuff in there, so floor space is important.
-We hung three pictures that have been homeless for quite sometime. It's nice to not have them sitting on the floor leaning up against walls.
-We hung the blinds in one of the downstairs guest bedrooms. I have a friend coming to stay next weekend, and I'd prefer her to stay in the lower level with her own bathroom than upstairs across the hall from us and sharing our cheater-ensuite bathroom. Besides, the upstairs guest room is the room that holds all of Justin's clothes.
-I also did normal things, like cleaning the kitchen, a load of laundry and some reorganizing of Bambino's change table. I'm sure that change table will be reorganized many times over, especially after the showers, but I'm just doing it in stages.
Needless to say, my pelvis is killing me. I was in the crankiest mood and snapping about everything this morning because of the pain. It just keeps getting worse, and morning time is the most painful part of my day. But seriously, stuff still needs to get done, and a lot of this is stuff that other people just can't do for me.
Soon we're going to go into town to do some groceries and pick up storage totes and a new set of sheets. The sheets in our downstairs guest room suck, but they're the only double sheets we have. I don't want to have my friend sleep on them, so we're getting new ones. The storage totes are to pack away more stuff in. The specific reason we're getting them now (when we've needed more for a long time) is for bath towels. We definitely don't need 30 bath towels and 50 wash cloths in our bathroom closet. We're going to clear out most of them and put them in storage so that we have more space in there for the baby's stuff.
While we're in town we're going to have dinner at my parent's house and hopefully see my uncle that I haven't seen in 7 years. I've always really liked him, but he lives across the country, and Justin has never met him, so it should be a good evening.
Soon we're going to have to make it to my grandparents' to pick up my storage chest and lazy boy. Maybe this weekend sometime.
Obviously I am in full nesting mode. 6 weeks left!! But we have no more free weekends until a week before my due date. We definitely can't leave things until then.
I called my case manager immediately after I found this out to try and figure out the logistics of everything. It is now Saturday and he never called me back. They are supposed to get back to you within 8 business hours. Now I'll have to wait until Tuesday (if he even calls me back then), because Monday is a holiday. This all only reinforces my dislike of this person.
On to other things...
This morning hubby and I got a bunch of stuff done, stuff that had been waiting to be done for quite some time, and needed to be done before the baby comes, otherwise it will be even longer before it gets done.
-I cleaned out a wicker basket and magazine holder that were in our office. Now the magazine holder actually holds magazines in our bathroom and the wicker basket is in Bambino's room, waiting to hold some of his stuff.
-I cleaned off and organzied the top of my dresser... it was an absolute mess.
-We re-arranged the furniture in the upstairs guest bedroom to a layout that provides us with more concentrated floor space. I thought this would be a good idea because we'll be keeping baby stuff in there, so floor space is important.
-We hung three pictures that have been homeless for quite sometime. It's nice to not have them sitting on the floor leaning up against walls.
-We hung the blinds in one of the downstairs guest bedrooms. I have a friend coming to stay next weekend, and I'd prefer her to stay in the lower level with her own bathroom than upstairs across the hall from us and sharing our cheater-ensuite bathroom. Besides, the upstairs guest room is the room that holds all of Justin's clothes.
-I also did normal things, like cleaning the kitchen, a load of laundry and some reorganizing of Bambino's change table. I'm sure that change table will be reorganized many times over, especially after the showers, but I'm just doing it in stages.
Needless to say, my pelvis is killing me. I was in the crankiest mood and snapping about everything this morning because of the pain. It just keeps getting worse, and morning time is the most painful part of my day. But seriously, stuff still needs to get done, and a lot of this is stuff that other people just can't do for me.
Soon we're going to go into town to do some groceries and pick up storage totes and a new set of sheets. The sheets in our downstairs guest room suck, but they're the only double sheets we have. I don't want to have my friend sleep on them, so we're getting new ones. The storage totes are to pack away more stuff in. The specific reason we're getting them now (when we've needed more for a long time) is for bath towels. We definitely don't need 30 bath towels and 50 wash cloths in our bathroom closet. We're going to clear out most of them and put them in storage so that we have more space in there for the baby's stuff.
While we're in town we're going to have dinner at my parent's house and hopefully see my uncle that I haven't seen in 7 years. I've always really liked him, but he lives across the country, and Justin has never met him, so it should be a good evening.
Soon we're going to have to make it to my grandparents' to pick up my storage chest and lazy boy. Maybe this weekend sometime.
Obviously I am in full nesting mode. 6 weeks left!! But we have no more free weekends until a week before my due date. We definitely can't leave things until then.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
33 weeks 3 days
Today I was getting overwhelmed by the amount of laundry I was going to have to do this weekend if I didnt get some done now, so I did two loads. Those two loads ended up being mostly baby stuff. I finally broke down and washed all our washcloths, towels, receiving blankets, burp cloths, bibs, and hats. That stuff took forever to fold! I'm glad I did it, considering that I have two baby showers in the next 2 weeks, which will mean lots more baby laundry!
I also washed the padded covers for our baby swing and bouncer. We bought these second-hand last summer (wow, that seems sooo long ago), and they looked good. I think they were only used by one kid. But after being washed they look even better. I was postponing doing it so that I wouldn't feel the need to wash them twice, but I figure with 6 1/2 weeks until my due date I'm probably not going to feel the need to wash them again before the baby gets here.
Speaking of my due date, yesterday I had a bit of a labour scare. It was nothing major, and I was never really very concerned, but Justin was! For about an hour before he came home for lunch I was moving around showering, emptying the dishwasher, cleaning the kitchen, and making us lunches (my friend was coming over for tea, so I had to get this all done on a deadline). While I was in the shower I started to feel really crummy. I was lightheaded and was having a hard time breathing. I started having long contractions (some as long as 2 1/2 minutes) that were spaced very close together. On top of that, I was feeling a constant achy crampiness through my lower abdomen and lower back, which is apparently a sign of real labour.
This went on for over an hour, but I had to get all this stuff done in the house so I couldn't just sit down and rest to see if things would improve. Finally I was done everything and Justin and I sat down to eat lunch. Shortly after that my neighbour came over for tea. She stayed for about 2 1/2 hours. My achy crampiness got a little better over that period of time, and my contractions didn't get any worse, so I knew I was in the clear. And obviously, since I'm writing this, I had no baby and everything is fine. I was mildly concerned at the time (being 33 weeks, 2 cm dilated, and about 75% effaced makes false labour a bit more of a worry than it might otherwise be!), but only mildly. I guess it's that mommy's instinct... I didn't feel like I should be worried, and I didn't feel like the baby was going to come. I just felt like I should probably lie down for awhile!
I'm going to go lie down right now, actually. I think I'll try and nap sometime this afternoon. Justin won't be home until past 7, and this is the one day this week that I don't have anywhere I need to be. I woke up at 4:15am and never fell back asleep, so I deserve to sleep. My pelvic pain is getting worse and worse everyday. It's getting to the point that I'm seriously considering using the crutches again.
I also washed the padded covers for our baby swing and bouncer. We bought these second-hand last summer (wow, that seems sooo long ago), and they looked good. I think they were only used by one kid. But after being washed they look even better. I was postponing doing it so that I wouldn't feel the need to wash them twice, but I figure with 6 1/2 weeks until my due date I'm probably not going to feel the need to wash them again before the baby gets here.
Speaking of my due date, yesterday I had a bit of a labour scare. It was nothing major, and I was never really very concerned, but Justin was! For about an hour before he came home for lunch I was moving around showering, emptying the dishwasher, cleaning the kitchen, and making us lunches (my friend was coming over for tea, so I had to get this all done on a deadline). While I was in the shower I started to feel really crummy. I was lightheaded and was having a hard time breathing. I started having long contractions (some as long as 2 1/2 minutes) that were spaced very close together. On top of that, I was feeling a constant achy crampiness through my lower abdomen and lower back, which is apparently a sign of real labour.
This went on for over an hour, but I had to get all this stuff done in the house so I couldn't just sit down and rest to see if things would improve. Finally I was done everything and Justin and I sat down to eat lunch. Shortly after that my neighbour came over for tea. She stayed for about 2 1/2 hours. My achy crampiness got a little better over that period of time, and my contractions didn't get any worse, so I knew I was in the clear. And obviously, since I'm writing this, I had no baby and everything is fine. I was mildly concerned at the time (being 33 weeks, 2 cm dilated, and about 75% effaced makes false labour a bit more of a worry than it might otherwise be!), but only mildly. I guess it's that mommy's instinct... I didn't feel like I should be worried, and I didn't feel like the baby was going to come. I just felt like I should probably lie down for awhile!
I'm going to go lie down right now, actually. I think I'll try and nap sometime this afternoon. Justin won't be home until past 7, and this is the one day this week that I don't have anywhere I need to be. I woke up at 4:15am and never fell back asleep, so I deserve to sleep. My pelvic pain is getting worse and worse everyday. It's getting to the point that I'm seriously considering using the crutches again.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
33 Week OB Appointment
My mom came with me to my OB appointment today. She wanted to hear the baby's heartbeat. I also think she wanted to see my OB, because he was her OBGYN, and actually delivered me. She also is in love with him because he gave her a hysterectomy about 15 years ago, which was the greatest thing ever for her.
Everything at the appointment was fine.
-I gained a pound and a half in the past 2 weeks, so my weight is back up to what it was at 29 weeks, putting my total weight gain at 13 lbs since 8 weeks.
-My blood pressure was fine at 133/82. That's a bit high for me, but it's still normal so I'm not worried.
-My urine tested negative for protein and sugar (I was a bit worried about the protein thing, since my BP had been high for awhile).
-The heartbeat was fine, according to the OB. It sounded a bit slower to me, but what do I know? It's not like I was timing it or anything. Although I don't think he was either.
-I measured right on track this week, which kind of confirms my suspicions that baby boy is starting to drop. I usually measure ahead, and I always grow 1 cm per week. The OB said that the baby is probably making his way down in my pelvis. Which is so awesome, since it makes my pelvic injury hurt like hell!
-I was looking at diagrams of cervical effacement, and when I compared the diagrams to how my cervix feels, I matched the 80% effaced diagram. I'm not a doctor, but I know my cervix pretty darn well after being a cervix checker for 2 years. And my cervix is almost non-existent now. I definitely don't have enough cervix left to come close to matching the 50% effaced diagram! So between the effacement and the dilation, I'm well on my way.
My next OB appointment is in two weeks, when I'm 35 weeks. After that I'm every week. So next week is my last week without an OB appointment until the baby comes. That's crazy.
I also visited my GP to talk about my pelvic injury and he said I need to stay off my feet, and that he'd write me any notes I need and fill out anything that WSIB needs too. I don't need anything from him at this point, but it's good to know that he'll take care of it if need be. Apparently the secretary was misinformed. Or maybe it's just because I got the new doctor instead of my original doctor. I haven't seen my original doctor in years! I know he's about to retire, but does he ever work?!
Everything at the appointment was fine.
-I gained a pound and a half in the past 2 weeks, so my weight is back up to what it was at 29 weeks, putting my total weight gain at 13 lbs since 8 weeks.
-My blood pressure was fine at 133/82. That's a bit high for me, but it's still normal so I'm not worried.
-My urine tested negative for protein and sugar (I was a bit worried about the protein thing, since my BP had been high for awhile).
-The heartbeat was fine, according to the OB. It sounded a bit slower to me, but what do I know? It's not like I was timing it or anything. Although I don't think he was either.
-I measured right on track this week, which kind of confirms my suspicions that baby boy is starting to drop. I usually measure ahead, and I always grow 1 cm per week. The OB said that the baby is probably making his way down in my pelvis. Which is so awesome, since it makes my pelvic injury hurt like hell!
-I was looking at diagrams of cervical effacement, and when I compared the diagrams to how my cervix feels, I matched the 80% effaced diagram. I'm not a doctor, but I know my cervix pretty darn well after being a cervix checker for 2 years. And my cervix is almost non-existent now. I definitely don't have enough cervix left to come close to matching the 50% effaced diagram! So between the effacement and the dilation, I'm well on my way.
My next OB appointment is in two weeks, when I'm 35 weeks. After that I'm every week. So next week is my last week without an OB appointment until the baby comes. That's crazy.
I also visited my GP to talk about my pelvic injury and he said I need to stay off my feet, and that he'd write me any notes I need and fill out anything that WSIB needs too. I don't need anything from him at this point, but it's good to know that he'll take care of it if need be. Apparently the secretary was misinformed. Or maybe it's just because I got the new doctor instead of my original doctor. I haven't seen my original doctor in years! I know he's about to retire, but does he ever work?!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Pregnancy and Pictures at 33 weeks
How far along: 33 weeks
Total weight gain: Only 11 lbs since 8 weeks. My gaining seems to be stalled, which might worry me if my uterus wasn't still measuring a week ahead of schedule.
Stretch marks?: Some of the stretch marks on my sides are growing fractionally. There are just little red spots at the top of 3 or 4 of them.
Total weight gain: Only 11 lbs since 8 weeks. My gaining seems to be stalled, which might worry me if my uterus wasn't still measuring a week ahead of schedule.
Stretch marks?: Some of the stretch marks on my sides are growing fractionally. There are just little red spots at the top of 3 or 4 of them.
Sleep: Awful.
Best moments this week: Shopping at the second hand children's store and getting a bunch of almost brand new baby clothes for really cheap. It was so wonderful to do laundry and see our little guy's clothes in there. Folding and putting away baby laundry is so enjoyable!
Food cravings: Cheesecake and Coke. I am dying for both.
Sex: A strong little boy
Labor signs?: I'm at least 2 cm dilated and have about 50 Braxton Hicks everyday. I also think the baby may have dropped. I can feel his head very easily when I check my cervix, and when I compare my 33 week belly pictures to my 30 week ones, my belly seems lower down. Plus my pelvic pain has gotten worse in the past couple of days, and dropping could explain that.
New Symptoms: I started noticing the baby having hiccups. Because his head is pretty far down they usually don't make my belly jump, I just feel the sensation low down inside of me. Justin put his ear to my tummy and could actually hear the hiccups. Apparently they made a little "glub" noise. I know he was hearing them and not feeling them because they could not be felt on the outside.
Belly Button: Popped.
What I miss the most: Just being comfortable.
What I am looking forward to the most: I have two baby showers coming up, one in 2 weeks and one in 3 weeks. But most of all I'm looking forward to the baby being here.
Milestones: I'm done work! I finished at 30 weeks because of an unexpected work injury. I separated my pubic bone and am in a lot of pain. But it's nice to be off work for the rest of my pregnancy and not be using maternity leave for it.
Pictures:
Friday, February 5, 2010
Good Week
32 weeks 4 days
1. This week was a really good week. I've already blogged about a lot of it, but I'm going to recap and add some new stuff.
2. My mom came and cleaned my house for me.
3. I got a lot of nice baby stuff for really cheap at the secondhand kid's shop where I live.
4. WSIB approved my claim, so I get paid in full for my time off.
5. The chiropractor took me off work indefinitely, so I'm pretty sure I'm totally done work now.
6. I finally cleaned out my office and classroom of most of my personal items, and this morning I had everything put away or packed into a box by 8am.
7. I had tea with my friend twice.
8. I got to go to the chiropractor 3 times, all paid for by someone other than me.
9. On Thursday we got our new Flip UltraHD camcorder in the mail, which we bought by redeeming our airmiles, so it was free!
10. Last night I had a nice visit and dinner with my parents and visiting sister.
11. Today I got my Valentine's Day/Birthday present in the mail. A ring from Tiffany & Co. Is it weird that it arrived when Justin was at work, I was having tea with my neighbour, and I opened it up and am already wearing it? :) I love it!
12. Tonight I'm going to the movies and out for snacks afterward with my mom, sister, friend, and her mom. It's our tradition to do this 2 or 3 times a year, and I always enjoy it. I only slept 5 hours (tops) last night, so I might be pretty tired, but I'm still looking forward to it! Justin is driving me into and out of town, so that will help with the fatigue.
13. I haven't had to cook all week. We got soup and meat and lasagna from Justin's family. I really didn't enjoy the lasagna because I didn't like the sauce it was made out of, and I didn't enjoy the soup because his mom ruined my favourite soup by putting wine in it (blech), but at least my husband had real food to eat everyday and I didn't have to cook! I just ate other things.
What a nice week. I don't think anything actually bad happened. How lovely:)
1. This week was a really good week. I've already blogged about a lot of it, but I'm going to recap and add some new stuff.
2. My mom came and cleaned my house for me.
3. I got a lot of nice baby stuff for really cheap at the secondhand kid's shop where I live.
4. WSIB approved my claim, so I get paid in full for my time off.
5. The chiropractor took me off work indefinitely, so I'm pretty sure I'm totally done work now.
6. I finally cleaned out my office and classroom of most of my personal items, and this morning I had everything put away or packed into a box by 8am.
7. I had tea with my friend twice.
8. I got to go to the chiropractor 3 times, all paid for by someone other than me.
9. On Thursday we got our new Flip UltraHD camcorder in the mail, which we bought by redeeming our airmiles, so it was free!
10. Last night I had a nice visit and dinner with my parents and visiting sister.
11. Today I got my Valentine's Day/Birthday present in the mail. A ring from Tiffany & Co. Is it weird that it arrived when Justin was at work, I was having tea with my neighbour, and I opened it up and am already wearing it? :) I love it!
12. Tonight I'm going to the movies and out for snacks afterward with my mom, sister, friend, and her mom. It's our tradition to do this 2 or 3 times a year, and I always enjoy it. I only slept 5 hours (tops) last night, so I might be pretty tired, but I'm still looking forward to it! Justin is driving me into and out of town, so that will help with the fatigue.
13. I haven't had to cook all week. We got soup and meat and lasagna from Justin's family. I really didn't enjoy the lasagna because I didn't like the sauce it was made out of, and I didn't enjoy the soup because his mom ruined my favourite soup by putting wine in it (blech), but at least my husband had real food to eat everyday and I didn't have to cook! I just ate other things.
What a nice week. I don't think anything actually bad happened. How lovely:)
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Indefinitely
I went to the chiropractor today and informed him that WSIB approved my claim. He laughed at me and said "See, didn't I tell you?" Yeah, yeah.
Because I'm still in a significant amount of pain and not improving, he gave me a note saying that I will be off work indefinitely due to PGP (pelvic girdle pain). I don't have to live week to week anymore. Now I'm just off work permanently, unless I magically get better in the next 5 weeks (which is all I would have left of work if I went back now).
I'm very relieved by this whole turn of events today. I'm off work, pretty much for good, but I get paid in full. It's such a relief to know what's happening now. And frankly, it's a relief to not have to work and to have a legitimate reason for it, even if the legitimate reason causes me pain. I was in a fair amount of pain and discomfort already before this happened and I was wondering how I was going to work until 38 weeks. Now I can relax and enjoy the end of my pregnancy... while sitting in bed because walking hurts too much. lol.
My sister came to town yesterday and tonight we went to my school after everyone was gone and I picked up a bunch of my stuff. I had food, snowpants, two pairs of boots, and endless supplies and binders and guides there. I got most of that stuff, and I can get the rest later. I also went through my laptop to delete any of websites I had in my favourites that were personal (like pregnancy and infertility sites). I also deleted any personal files and pictures off the hard drive. I left only school related stuff on there.
I feel all cleaned up. I just have two slight problems to deal with.
1) I have so much school crap at home now and have nowhere to put it. It'll be a lot of work to find places for all this stuff.
2) My school is still paying me, so I have to pick up paycheques every two weeks. It's always awkward to go pick up a paycheque at a place where you're not actually working.
Those are minor things, obviously. I can deal.
Because I'm still in a significant amount of pain and not improving, he gave me a note saying that I will be off work indefinitely due to PGP (pelvic girdle pain). I don't have to live week to week anymore. Now I'm just off work permanently, unless I magically get better in the next 5 weeks (which is all I would have left of work if I went back now).
I'm very relieved by this whole turn of events today. I'm off work, pretty much for good, but I get paid in full. It's such a relief to know what's happening now. And frankly, it's a relief to not have to work and to have a legitimate reason for it, even if the legitimate reason causes me pain. I was in a fair amount of pain and discomfort already before this happened and I was wondering how I was going to work until 38 weeks. Now I can relax and enjoy the end of my pregnancy... while sitting in bed because walking hurts too much. lol.
My sister came to town yesterday and tonight we went to my school after everyone was gone and I picked up a bunch of my stuff. I had food, snowpants, two pairs of boots, and endless supplies and binders and guides there. I got most of that stuff, and I can get the rest later. I also went through my laptop to delete any of websites I had in my favourites that were personal (like pregnancy and infertility sites). I also deleted any personal files and pictures off the hard drive. I left only school related stuff on there.
I feel all cleaned up. I just have two slight problems to deal with.
1) I have so much school crap at home now and have nowhere to put it. It'll be a lot of work to find places for all this stuff.
2) My school is still paying me, so I have to pick up paycheques every two weeks. It's always awkward to go pick up a paycheque at a place where you're not actually working.
Those are minor things, obviously. I can deal.
Hurray!!! Great News!
My WSIB claim was approved!!!!
I am so flippin excited. I feel so much better about everything now. I can stop feeling guilty for all the time I've taken off, because my school will get reimbursed for what they've paid me and I'll get reimbursed all my sick time (not that it matters, since I'm done work in 5 weeks). And I get 12 weeks of chiropractic care covered!!! That's a lot of care, and it's really good for me at this point in my pregnancy!
I'm so excited right now. I was afraid that the pregnancy would complicate things (because the injury wouldn't have happened unless I was pregnant and was all loose from the hormones, and the healing is slower because of the same reason). A friend said that pregnancy would only help my claim, but she's never dealt with WSIB before so she was just going on the theory of basic human decency.
I think I still have to live week-to-week as far as whether I'm going back, which drives me kind of nuts, but at least I don't have to feel nervous and guilty when I send my principal updates and doctors notes, because it's no longer costing him any money to have me off. Yaaaaaay!
If he were smart, he would figure out my maternity leave replacement now so she could cover the rest of the time that I'm off. Even if I end up back, it's probably better for the class to have had the teacher that they're going to have for the rest of the school year. Although the supply who is in for me right now is fantastic, and the kids all know her well, so I'm less worried about the state of things if I go back, knowing that she's the one taking care of everything.
I'm so glad I had everything all lined up for someone to step in and take over. I spent like a week getting that all done at the beginning of January, just in case something happened. The only loose ends are that I have a ton of personal stuff I need to take out of the school, and I want to go through my laptop (owned by my school) to delete anything that isn't totally school related. I have ultrasound photos on there, and I'm pretty sure my taxes are still on there from last year!
I just knew my principal was making a mistake when I saw the advertisement for covering my maternity leave. He's not doing interviews until February 16-19. When I saw this, back before I got injured, I said to DH and my mom "This is really not smart. What if I get taken off work for some reason? I'll be 36 weeks pregnant before he even hires anyone. He's cutting it too close. If he did the interviews sooner then he would have someone lined up to cover me already."
I was so right. Sometimes my intuition surprises even me (lol).
I am so flippin excited. I feel so much better about everything now. I can stop feeling guilty for all the time I've taken off, because my school will get reimbursed for what they've paid me and I'll get reimbursed all my sick time (not that it matters, since I'm done work in 5 weeks). And I get 12 weeks of chiropractic care covered!!! That's a lot of care, and it's really good for me at this point in my pregnancy!
I'm so excited right now. I was afraid that the pregnancy would complicate things (because the injury wouldn't have happened unless I was pregnant and was all loose from the hormones, and the healing is slower because of the same reason). A friend said that pregnancy would only help my claim, but she's never dealt with WSIB before so she was just going on the theory of basic human decency.
I think I still have to live week-to-week as far as whether I'm going back, which drives me kind of nuts, but at least I don't have to feel nervous and guilty when I send my principal updates and doctors notes, because it's no longer costing him any money to have me off. Yaaaaaay!
If he were smart, he would figure out my maternity leave replacement now so she could cover the rest of the time that I'm off. Even if I end up back, it's probably better for the class to have had the teacher that they're going to have for the rest of the school year. Although the supply who is in for me right now is fantastic, and the kids all know her well, so I'm less worried about the state of things if I go back, knowing that she's the one taking care of everything.
I'm so glad I had everything all lined up for someone to step in and take over. I spent like a week getting that all done at the beginning of January, just in case something happened. The only loose ends are that I have a ton of personal stuff I need to take out of the school, and I want to go through my laptop (owned by my school) to delete anything that isn't totally school related. I have ultrasound photos on there, and I'm pretty sure my taxes are still on there from last year!
I just knew my principal was making a mistake when I saw the advertisement for covering my maternity leave. He's not doing interviews until February 16-19. When I saw this, back before I got injured, I said to DH and my mom "This is really not smart. What if I get taken off work for some reason? I'll be 36 weeks pregnant before he even hires anyone. He's cutting it too close. If he did the interviews sooner then he would have someone lined up to cover me already."
I was so right. Sometimes my intuition surprises even me (lol).
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
New Baby Store!
I visited this cute little second hand shop in my town today. It's dedicated almost solely to baby and kid's stuff, with some maternity clothes thrown in.
It was so hard to control myself, because almost everything looked brand new. There was a TON of stuff from my registry in there (snuglie, bath tub, exersaucer, breast pump, bottles, etc). They all looked like new, but they were waaaay cheaper!
Unfortunately, I still have two showers to go, so I didn't want to buy this stuff yet. But at the same time, I did want to buy everything because I don't know if people will actually get it for us. A lot of people don't listen to registries at all.
I used my self control, and instead bought the following:
-A nice black diaper bag
-7 sleepers in various sizes
-3 pajama outfits (tops and pants) in various sizes
-a pair of summer jean shorts
-a pair of tiny red sandals for the summer
Grand Total: $37
Some of the stuff I bought was literally brand new. And everything else either looked like it had never been worn, or had only been worn once or twice.
How amazing is that? I don't think I'm going to buy my kid much brand new clothing. They grow out of things so fast, and this store has new stuff in everyday that looks amazing and is so much cheaper.
None of the stuff I bought is stuff the baby will wear right away (I already have all of that stuff). But I'm still excited. And I'm pumped that I finally have a diaper bag (and that it was only $10... brand new diaper bags are expensive!). It doesn't even look like a diaper bag, it just looks like a black tote bag. So Justin won't be ashamed when I make him carry it.
I want to go pack the diaper bag now! Which is absolutely ridiculous, so I won't. But I want to!
It was so hard to control myself, because almost everything looked brand new. There was a TON of stuff from my registry in there (snuglie, bath tub, exersaucer, breast pump, bottles, etc). They all looked like new, but they were waaaay cheaper!
Unfortunately, I still have two showers to go, so I didn't want to buy this stuff yet. But at the same time, I did want to buy everything because I don't know if people will actually get it for us. A lot of people don't listen to registries at all.
I used my self control, and instead bought the following:
-A nice black diaper bag
-7 sleepers in various sizes
-3 pajama outfits (tops and pants) in various sizes
-a pair of summer jean shorts
-a pair of tiny red sandals for the summer
Grand Total: $37
Some of the stuff I bought was literally brand new. And everything else either looked like it had never been worn, or had only been worn once or twice.
How amazing is that? I don't think I'm going to buy my kid much brand new clothing. They grow out of things so fast, and this store has new stuff in everyday that looks amazing and is so much cheaper.
None of the stuff I bought is stuff the baby will wear right away (I already have all of that stuff). But I'm still excited. And I'm pumped that I finally have a diaper bag (and that it was only $10... brand new diaper bags are expensive!). It doesn't even look like a diaper bag, it just looks like a black tote bag. So Justin won't be ashamed when I make him carry it.
I want to go pack the diaper bag now! Which is absolutely ridiculous, so I won't. But I want to!
Thankful for Our Miracle
Our little one is due in 54 days. 54 days doesn't seem like a very long time! But when I look at it as being 7 and a half weeks, it seems longer.
I want him to get here so badly! I can't wait to finally see this little guy. Sometimes it feels very real to me. He constantly is squirming around. I always have some part of his body pushing out through my stomach (my stomach is never completely round anymore. I definitely have corners!). But other times I look at my belly and watch him moving around and I just can't imagine that I have an almost full-grown baby in there. How is my body doing this? After trying for so long and wanting it so badly, I often am completely amazed that our dream has come true. I actually have our little baby growing inside of me. In about 54 days he's going to be a very real part of our life.
When we were going through infertility I had a really hard time with it. I was a very unhappy person, because the one thing I always wanted was to be a mother. Sometimes, when I let myself really focus on our situation, I could not even fathom how incredibly sad it was that we were so in love, wanted a child to love from the second we got married, and were doing everything right, but we could not get pregnant.
I remember feeling so helpless that I just could not verbalize the total, utter, all-consuming sadness that I felt all the time. It's just a feeling that you can't even begin to describe, and it's understood only by the people who have gone through infertility.
Now that I'm pregnant, and I feel this miraculous little baby moving around inside of me, his Mom, I'm still at a loss for words. Only now, I'm at a loss as to how to describe the incredible joy that I feel. It goes so far beyond "happy." Happy seems like such a surface emotion when I try to apply it to what I feel now. I am just so full of joy and contentment and thankfulness that we've been given this gift. It overwhelms me. We are finally parents. We finally have a child to love.
I know we want more children. And I know that the pain of our infertility won't ever go away completely. I know that we'll have to go through more frustrating, trying times as we do treatments to have any other children. But I don't think it can ever be as painful as it is when you're trying to have your first child. It's a horrible thing to want to be a parent and to not be able to make that choice for yourself because your body is betraying you. It's a horrible thing to have that intense fear that you may never be able to get pregnant.
I am so thankful that we will have a child already when we go through this the next time. I really don't think the pain we experience then will even compare to the pain we experienced before this little one came to be. How could it possibly? We are parents. We've fulfilled our ultimate dream.
I am so excited to meet him. I am filled with so much love for this little baby that it overwhelms me. I can't imagine how much more I will love him when he's here with us, on the outside!
I want him to get here so badly! I can't wait to finally see this little guy. Sometimes it feels very real to me. He constantly is squirming around. I always have some part of his body pushing out through my stomach (my stomach is never completely round anymore. I definitely have corners!). But other times I look at my belly and watch him moving around and I just can't imagine that I have an almost full-grown baby in there. How is my body doing this? After trying for so long and wanting it so badly, I often am completely amazed that our dream has come true. I actually have our little baby growing inside of me. In about 54 days he's going to be a very real part of our life.
When we were going through infertility I had a really hard time with it. I was a very unhappy person, because the one thing I always wanted was to be a mother. Sometimes, when I let myself really focus on our situation, I could not even fathom how incredibly sad it was that we were so in love, wanted a child to love from the second we got married, and were doing everything right, but we could not get pregnant.
I remember feeling so helpless that I just could not verbalize the total, utter, all-consuming sadness that I felt all the time. It's just a feeling that you can't even begin to describe, and it's understood only by the people who have gone through infertility.
Now that I'm pregnant, and I feel this miraculous little baby moving around inside of me, his Mom, I'm still at a loss for words. Only now, I'm at a loss as to how to describe the incredible joy that I feel. It goes so far beyond "happy." Happy seems like such a surface emotion when I try to apply it to what I feel now. I am just so full of joy and contentment and thankfulness that we've been given this gift. It overwhelms me. We are finally parents. We finally have a child to love.
I know we want more children. And I know that the pain of our infertility won't ever go away completely. I know that we'll have to go through more frustrating, trying times as we do treatments to have any other children. But I don't think it can ever be as painful as it is when you're trying to have your first child. It's a horrible thing to want to be a parent and to not be able to make that choice for yourself because your body is betraying you. It's a horrible thing to have that intense fear that you may never be able to get pregnant.
I am so thankful that we will have a child already when we go through this the next time. I really don't think the pain we experience then will even compare to the pain we experienced before this little one came to be. How could it possibly? We are parents. We've fulfilled our ultimate dream.
I am so excited to meet him. I am filled with so much love for this little baby that it overwhelms me. I can't imagine how much more I will love him when he's here with us, on the outside!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Randomness
32 weeks
-I slept very poorly last night. I've been awake since 3:45 am and haven't even had a nap. For awhile I couldn't fall back asleep because I was hungry. So I ate. Then I couldn't fall back asleep because I was uncomfortable and in pain. Then I finally got really sleepy, but couldn't fall asleep because I just felt awful. I was lying down, but I starting feeling all nauseous, queasy, breathless, and and light-headed. It was strange. Why would that happen when I've been lying down on my left side and just ate something an hour beforehand?
-I got strict instructions from the chiropractor today: "Don't do anything."
-My Mom came over today and cleaned my house! How awesome is that? I didn't even ask her to. She didn't actually get around to doing the whole house, but she did an amazing job on my kitchen and main bathroom, which are the parts that people look at most closely and that have the most traffic (and therefore get dirty faster), so they're the most important! I'm so thankful, especially since my MIL is coming over tomorrow evening and I'd be so embarassed to have a dirty house. But I'm really not supposed to do anything.
-Justin started up a February "boot camp" (we hate that term) tonight. It's supposed to be two evenings a week, as long as at least 3 people RSVP to each night (otherwise the session is cancelled). He brought in a nice $75 tonight, for one hour of training! A small portion of that money was prepaid for future sessions by one client, but the majority of it was just for tonight, paid by clients who will be coming back and just didn't prepay. I think I've said this before, but he's such a great provider!!
-I'm really sore today. It's ridiculous how much I still hurt when I get up and try to walk. It gets a little better when I've been moving around for a couple of minutes, but if I do move around like that it ends up getting worse in the long run. It's a conundrum.
I wish I was further along. I would just go on maternity leave. But when this next week off is up I'll only be 33 weeks. I was planning on working until 38 weeks, and then because March break was right after that I wouldn't have to start my mat leave until I was 39 weeks. If I go off at 33 weeks I'll be off 6 weeks earlier than I wanted to be. Which isn't so bad in the short term; it's not like we desperately need those 6 extra weeks with my full pay. I think I'd only lose about $1000 altogether. But if I end up having to go back next year, then I either have to go back 6 weeks earlier than I was planning to, or I have to go 6 weeks without any pay whatsoever.
This is the whole reason I was waiting until March break to go off. Because I could go off 11 days earlier than my maternity leave would officially start. And that's the whole reason I never considered going off even a week or two sooner. Because I wouldn't just be losing a week or two, I'd be losing a week or two plus those 11 days. So I don't want this injury to affect my maternity leave.
I just want this all to be settled. I have a strong feeling that this pain is not going to be getting better before I give birth. I wish I knew right now if WSIB is going to cover the claim. It's been almost two weeks, and besides the improvement I had in the first few days, there's been no more improvement. So if WSIB isn't going to cover the claim, then I might as well just go on disability. I really hate this limbo business. Every week having to say again "Yeah, sorry, I won't be there next week either." I'd rather my school just KNOW so they can hire my maternity leave replacement and the class can just adjust to their new "normal." And I can just deal with resting and trying to heal, rather than having this "Am I going back next week?" hanging over my head all the time.
-I slept very poorly last night. I've been awake since 3:45 am and haven't even had a nap. For awhile I couldn't fall back asleep because I was hungry. So I ate. Then I couldn't fall back asleep because I was uncomfortable and in pain. Then I finally got really sleepy, but couldn't fall asleep because I just felt awful. I was lying down, but I starting feeling all nauseous, queasy, breathless, and and light-headed. It was strange. Why would that happen when I've been lying down on my left side and just ate something an hour beforehand?
-I got strict instructions from the chiropractor today: "Don't do anything."
-My Mom came over today and cleaned my house! How awesome is that? I didn't even ask her to. She didn't actually get around to doing the whole house, but she did an amazing job on my kitchen and main bathroom, which are the parts that people look at most closely and that have the most traffic (and therefore get dirty faster), so they're the most important! I'm so thankful, especially since my MIL is coming over tomorrow evening and I'd be so embarassed to have a dirty house. But I'm really not supposed to do anything.
-Justin started up a February "boot camp" (we hate that term) tonight. It's supposed to be two evenings a week, as long as at least 3 people RSVP to each night (otherwise the session is cancelled). He brought in a nice $75 tonight, for one hour of training! A small portion of that money was prepaid for future sessions by one client, but the majority of it was just for tonight, paid by clients who will be coming back and just didn't prepay. I think I've said this before, but he's such a great provider!!
-I'm really sore today. It's ridiculous how much I still hurt when I get up and try to walk. It gets a little better when I've been moving around for a couple of minutes, but if I do move around like that it ends up getting worse in the long run. It's a conundrum.
I wish I was further along. I would just go on maternity leave. But when this next week off is up I'll only be 33 weeks. I was planning on working until 38 weeks, and then because March break was right after that I wouldn't have to start my mat leave until I was 39 weeks. If I go off at 33 weeks I'll be off 6 weeks earlier than I wanted to be. Which isn't so bad in the short term; it's not like we desperately need those 6 extra weeks with my full pay. I think I'd only lose about $1000 altogether. But if I end up having to go back next year, then I either have to go back 6 weeks earlier than I was planning to, or I have to go 6 weeks without any pay whatsoever.
This is the whole reason I was waiting until March break to go off. Because I could go off 11 days earlier than my maternity leave would officially start. And that's the whole reason I never considered going off even a week or two sooner. Because I wouldn't just be losing a week or two, I'd be losing a week or two plus those 11 days. So I don't want this injury to affect my maternity leave.
I just want this all to be settled. I have a strong feeling that this pain is not going to be getting better before I give birth. I wish I knew right now if WSIB is going to cover the claim. It's been almost two weeks, and besides the improvement I had in the first few days, there's been no more improvement. So if WSIB isn't going to cover the claim, then I might as well just go on disability. I really hate this limbo business. Every week having to say again "Yeah, sorry, I won't be there next week either." I'd rather my school just KNOW so they can hire my maternity leave replacement and the class can just adjust to their new "normal." And I can just deal with resting and trying to heal, rather than having this "Am I going back next week?" hanging over my head all the time.
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