I do not like myself today. I am petty, short tempered, impatient, and incredibly irritable. Everything is annoying me - and I do mean everything. And everyone. Stupid things that do not matter are digging inside of me and festering, creating an extremely foul mood. I'm unable to get past anything right now. I've probably only had 5 kind thoughts all day.
I'm responding to simple questions from my sweet husband by biting his head off. As soon as I speak I feel like I'm stepping outside my body and looking at a stranger. I literally have no idea why I'm responding so harshly, because I only feel that harsh about half the time (not that feeling that way is any excuse, but it is awfully weird that I'm speaking rudely to him when I'm not even feeling annoyed by him).
There is a lot more I could say on the topic, but I'm going to stop here because honestly, I don't recognize myself. And I don't feel like baring every negative part of me to all of my readers.
I don't remember being this miserable during my last pregnancy until I was in my last 8 weeks or so. And then it was mainly directed at certain people. But now? It doesn't matter who you are or what you've done, I reserve the right to dislike you.
Apparently, anyway.
I slept horribly last night, so I'm hoping that has a lot to do with my awful mood. Hopefully I will wake up tomorrow morning as a whole new person. Too bad I still have hours to go before Noah is in bed and I can lie down in front of the TV and empty my mind.
For the record, I got the doppler today, and I can't find the heartbeat. I've tried 3 times, but I can only find mine. That was a disappointment. I knew there was a good chance I wouldn't be able to, but I was still hopeful, so it was a letdown. Booo.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Getting out of the Blog Rut
For the past week I have written many long posts, but never published them. I'm not positive why I haven't posted them, I just haven't. I think maybe I felt they were too "ranty". A lot of things have been happening lately that are causing me to need to vent and rant, but I didn't know if I necessarily wanted to put it all out there. It'll probably make me seem really complainy and unhappy. But I'm not unhappy. I'm the opposite! I love my life, and I'm very excited and grateful that we get to be adding to our family!
Actually, now that I think about it, I think "not wanting to come across as unhappy" has been my main reason for not posting about these things.
Just as a summary, I'm going to post a brief version of the posts I've written but haven't published.
-Last week Justin was doing me a "favour," and moved my cloth diaper laundry from the washing machine to the dryer. And despite the fact that I have told him at least 5 times to never ever put a dryer sheet in with the diapers, what did he do? Put a dryer sheet in with the diapers. I'm sure you can imagine the phone call he got at work the following day when I went to sort and stuff the diapers and discovered a used Bounce sheet floating in the laundry basket. I spent the rest of the day stripping them. Darned microfiber is still repelling.
-I am such a crappy pregnant person. I pee every 60-90 minutes all night long. My belly could pass as a 6 month belly, even though I'm not even quite 8 weeks yet. It's already uncomfortable to bend over. My freaking PSD/SPD showed up already at 7.5 weeks! I thought I had until at least 20 weeks. This makes me terrified about how the next 32 weeks are going to go.
-Diclectin? It's my best friend. I am taking a higher dose than I took with Noah, and it is sooo helpful! Without it, I would be puking all day long and probably end up in the hospital with dehydration. I feel bad for every nauseous pregnant woman who lives in the USA, as they do not have Diclectin in their pregnancy arsenal.
-My mom, who I normally have a great relationship with, is driving me NUTS! Seriously, I have had enough of her, and I finally told her last night. She is constantly finding fault in me. When I told her I was pregnant with one baby, the first thing she said was "Seriously? Then why is your belly so big?" When talking to my SIL, she called my belly size "alarming." She constantly needs a medical reason for why I am pregnant the way I am pregnant. I pee a lot at night? My kidneys must be stressed! It couldn't possibly be that I have always peed more than other people at night, so if you add in a growing uterus pushing on my bladder AND all the fluid retention that gets processed out at night, you get a lot of bathroom trips. She told me yesterday I am "red and puffy." Seriously, it was our first conversation when she came in my house. Thank you so much, Mom. She can't handle the fact that my midwife appointment is not for another 2 weeks. She wants me to go to my family doctor to check my blood pressure and get extensive blood work done to check my thyroid, blood sugar, CBC, etc. All totally ridiculous, because they were all GREAT before I got pregnant, so I doubt that they are going to be all messed up at 8 weeks. Perhaps I am "red and puffy" (although no one else seems to think so, and neither do I) just because I AM PREGNANT? And that causes weight gain, fluid retention, and increased blood flow? Have you ever heard of the "pregnancy glow"??? No? You have to think I have something seriously wrong with me? She just can't accept that I am a sucky pregnant person, but that I am still NORMAL. There is much more to the story than what I've just written here, but I'll stop. I have actually been having nightmares about her.
-I bought a doppler!! It will be here on Thursday. I really wanted to buy/rent one when I was pregnant with Noah, but I didn't because of the whole "if you can't find the heartbeat one day you would freak out unnecessarily" thing. But I freak out unnecessarily through my whole pregnancy, especially the first half. Having the doppler will actually cause me to freak out less. And if I can't find the heartbeat and am totally freaking out, then I will drive to the RE for an ultrasound. But most likely, the doppler will stop me from doing that. I'm really excited to have it this time around!
Alright, that's enough for today. But remember - I'm not unhappy! Although I may be reconsidering my plan to go through a third pregnancy... ;)
Actually, now that I think about it, I think "not wanting to come across as unhappy" has been my main reason for not posting about these things.
Just as a summary, I'm going to post a brief version of the posts I've written but haven't published.
-Last week Justin was doing me a "favour," and moved my cloth diaper laundry from the washing machine to the dryer. And despite the fact that I have told him at least 5 times to never ever put a dryer sheet in with the diapers, what did he do? Put a dryer sheet in with the diapers. I'm sure you can imagine the phone call he got at work the following day when I went to sort and stuff the diapers and discovered a used Bounce sheet floating in the laundry basket. I spent the rest of the day stripping them. Darned microfiber is still repelling.
-I am such a crappy pregnant person. I pee every 60-90 minutes all night long. My belly could pass as a 6 month belly, even though I'm not even quite 8 weeks yet. It's already uncomfortable to bend over. My freaking PSD/SPD showed up already at 7.5 weeks! I thought I had until at least 20 weeks. This makes me terrified about how the next 32 weeks are going to go.
-Diclectin? It's my best friend. I am taking a higher dose than I took with Noah, and it is sooo helpful! Without it, I would be puking all day long and probably end up in the hospital with dehydration. I feel bad for every nauseous pregnant woman who lives in the USA, as they do not have Diclectin in their pregnancy arsenal.
-My mom, who I normally have a great relationship with, is driving me NUTS! Seriously, I have had enough of her, and I finally told her last night. She is constantly finding fault in me. When I told her I was pregnant with one baby, the first thing she said was "Seriously? Then why is your belly so big?" When talking to my SIL, she called my belly size "alarming." She constantly needs a medical reason for why I am pregnant the way I am pregnant. I pee a lot at night? My kidneys must be stressed! It couldn't possibly be that I have always peed more than other people at night, so if you add in a growing uterus pushing on my bladder AND all the fluid retention that gets processed out at night, you get a lot of bathroom trips. She told me yesterday I am "red and puffy." Seriously, it was our first conversation when she came in my house. Thank you so much, Mom. She can't handle the fact that my midwife appointment is not for another 2 weeks. She wants me to go to my family doctor to check my blood pressure and get extensive blood work done to check my thyroid, blood sugar, CBC, etc. All totally ridiculous, because they were all GREAT before I got pregnant, so I doubt that they are going to be all messed up at 8 weeks. Perhaps I am "red and puffy" (although no one else seems to think so, and neither do I) just because I AM PREGNANT? And that causes weight gain, fluid retention, and increased blood flow? Have you ever heard of the "pregnancy glow"??? No? You have to think I have something seriously wrong with me? She just can't accept that I am a sucky pregnant person, but that I am still NORMAL. There is much more to the story than what I've just written here, but I'll stop. I have actually been having nightmares about her.
-I bought a doppler!! It will be here on Thursday. I really wanted to buy/rent one when I was pregnant with Noah, but I didn't because of the whole "if you can't find the heartbeat one day you would freak out unnecessarily" thing. But I freak out unnecessarily through my whole pregnancy, especially the first half. Having the doppler will actually cause me to freak out less. And if I can't find the heartbeat and am totally freaking out, then I will drive to the RE for an ultrasound. But most likely, the doppler will stop me from doing that. I'm really excited to have it this time around!
Alright, that's enough for today. But remember - I'm not unhappy! Although I may be reconsidering my plan to go through a third pregnancy... ;)
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
First Ultrasound for Baby #2
Yep, that's right, just Baby #2! There is only one little Bambino in that giant belly of mine! I saw his/her beautiful little heartbeat right away, which was awesome (ticking away at 140bpm). We also got to hear it twice.
For a few minutes I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I couldn't see any other sacs indicating multiples. Finally I said, "So there's just the one, right?" The tech said "Yes, why? Did you have more than one follicle?" I said, "I had SIX mature follicles! So I have been pretty nervous!" She laughed and dug around a little more to be sure there were no other babies hiding. I got both an abdominal and a vaginal ultrasound - the abdominal ultrasound was actually clearer than the vaginal one, which seems to always be the case with me.
I am sooo happy and relieved! I can't even put it into words. My life feels so simple and manageable now. ONE baby! Not two! Not three! Not four! I could go on... But seriously, we are just thrilled! Excited! I feel like I can really rejoice about this pregnancy again! I was so happy when I first found out, and then the fear of higher order multiples crept in, and it's been keeping me from really giving in to the happiness. There was too much worry. But now, knowing that I'll have ONE baby, one healthy, full term, nursing-ready baby... it's amazing! I am so happy to know that I can stick with my midwives, that I can be discharged from the hospital 6 hours after giving birth and go home to my own bed and my "other" baby, Noah...
I know what one baby is like. I know I can do one newborn, even though I have a toddler. I feel like my life will still be relatively calm and very enjoyable. I can't wait for October to come, now!
Alright, some other info from the appointment today. Apparently both my ovaries have large cysts on them. I would have figured everybody's ovaries would have cysts on them after getting pregnant (the corpus luteum cysts). I still had two fairly large CL cysts when Noah was 21 weeks. It was never even really mentioned as a concern - certainly not by any of my doctors. But the doctor mentioned them today after my ultrasound. She made it seem like they were more than regular CL cysts. Still, nothing to worry about. I'm not even sure why she made me aware of them. I guess maybe I should have asked.
Also, there was evidence on the ultrasound of an implantation bleed. The doctor said it is likely I'll experience some spotting at some point. I shouldn't freak out if this happens, but it's probably a good idea to come get another ultrasound done if/when it does.
My next ultrasound isn't booked until April 2. I'll be almost 13 weeks! So I can pretty much guarantee I will be gracing them with my presence before then. I am usually good for about 2 weeks after an ultrasound or hearing the heartbeat. Once I hit the week and a half mark, I start going crazy, thinking "My baby is dead!" The doctor said they'd be happy to reassure me, and that if I asked any of the ultrasound techs how often they scanned themselves when they were pregnant, they'd probably tell me it was everyday. So they would be happy to put my fears at ease.
I know I'll feel stupid doing this, just like last time. But, they did give me the built in excuse by telling me I will probably have spotting and that I should come in if I do. So if I feel stupid saying, "I am worried my baby is dead. No, I have no reason to actually think this, but I am still worried. Can I have an ultrasound?" I can instead say, "I have had some spotting and the doctor told me to come in for an ultrasound if this happens..."
Oh, that's right. I am not above lying so I can be reassured of the life growing inside of me.
That's all for tonight. The ultrasound picture is not even worth posting. For some reason when she was trying to get a picture at the end of the ultrasound, everything got really blurry. You could see the baby much better in earlier shots. You can see the yolk sac well in the picture, but the baby is seriously just a blur. I will edit this post later to add the picture, but I'm not going to spend time scanning it and editing out personal information tonight.
Thanks for all of your support on my nervous post this morning! And for those of you who have been refreshing your browsers frequently, I'm sorry for the late update! :)
For a few minutes I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I couldn't see any other sacs indicating multiples. Finally I said, "So there's just the one, right?" The tech said "Yes, why? Did you have more than one follicle?" I said, "I had SIX mature follicles! So I have been pretty nervous!" She laughed and dug around a little more to be sure there were no other babies hiding. I got both an abdominal and a vaginal ultrasound - the abdominal ultrasound was actually clearer than the vaginal one, which seems to always be the case with me.
I am sooo happy and relieved! I can't even put it into words. My life feels so simple and manageable now. ONE baby! Not two! Not three! Not four! I could go on... But seriously, we are just thrilled! Excited! I feel like I can really rejoice about this pregnancy again! I was so happy when I first found out, and then the fear of higher order multiples crept in, and it's been keeping me from really giving in to the happiness. There was too much worry. But now, knowing that I'll have ONE baby, one healthy, full term, nursing-ready baby... it's amazing! I am so happy to know that I can stick with my midwives, that I can be discharged from the hospital 6 hours after giving birth and go home to my own bed and my "other" baby, Noah...
I know what one baby is like. I know I can do one newborn, even though I have a toddler. I feel like my life will still be relatively calm and very enjoyable. I can't wait for October to come, now!
Alright, some other info from the appointment today. Apparently both my ovaries have large cysts on them. I would have figured everybody's ovaries would have cysts on them after getting pregnant (the corpus luteum cysts). I still had two fairly large CL cysts when Noah was 21 weeks. It was never even really mentioned as a concern - certainly not by any of my doctors. But the doctor mentioned them today after my ultrasound. She made it seem like they were more than regular CL cysts. Still, nothing to worry about. I'm not even sure why she made me aware of them. I guess maybe I should have asked.
Also, there was evidence on the ultrasound of an implantation bleed. The doctor said it is likely I'll experience some spotting at some point. I shouldn't freak out if this happens, but it's probably a good idea to come get another ultrasound done if/when it does.
My next ultrasound isn't booked until April 2. I'll be almost 13 weeks! So I can pretty much guarantee I will be gracing them with my presence before then. I am usually good for about 2 weeks after an ultrasound or hearing the heartbeat. Once I hit the week and a half mark, I start going crazy, thinking "My baby is dead!" The doctor said they'd be happy to reassure me, and that if I asked any of the ultrasound techs how often they scanned themselves when they were pregnant, they'd probably tell me it was everyday. So they would be happy to put my fears at ease.
I know I'll feel stupid doing this, just like last time. But, they did give me the built in excuse by telling me I will probably have spotting and that I should come in if I do. So if I feel stupid saying, "I am worried my baby is dead. No, I have no reason to actually think this, but I am still worried. Can I have an ultrasound?" I can instead say, "I have had some spotting and the doctor told me to come in for an ultrasound if this happens..."
Oh, that's right. I am not above lying so I can be reassured of the life growing inside of me.
That's all for tonight. The ultrasound picture is not even worth posting. For some reason when she was trying to get a picture at the end of the ultrasound, everything got really blurry. You could see the baby much better in earlier shots. You can see the yolk sac well in the picture, but the baby is seriously just a blur. I will edit this post later to add the picture, but I'm not going to spend time scanning it and editing out personal information tonight.
Thanks for all of your support on my nervous post this morning! And for those of you who have been refreshing your browsers frequently, I'm sorry for the late update! :)
Feel... So... Sick...
Today is my ultrasound day. It's currently 9:30am, my ultrasound is at 2:15pm. The limited number of people who know that I'm pregnant are so excited and want me to be so excited, too. But honestly, I am way too anxious to feel the excitement! The excitement exists, but the nervousness is taking first place ahead of it.
I am also pretty sick. Pregnant sick. I almost constantly feel like I'm about to throw up. I have to spend 10 minutes preparing myself before I change a poopy diaper (I really wish Noah would do that on the potty!). Moving around makes it all much worse. Therefore there are many dirty dishes on my counter, and a dishwasher full of clean dishes waiting to be unloaded. By me. There are 3 full loads of clean laundry waiting to be folded and put away. By me.
The nausea and the anxiety? Not a good combination.
I am hungry all. the. time. But my body is being really picky about what goes into it. It craves substance and calorie-rich food.
I am peeing many many times every night. Last night it was 6 times. The night before it was 10. Not joking. I was peeing about every 40 minutes. On top of that I wake up sick and starving, and have to sit up and eat crackers. That happened to me twice last night, and each time I was awake for at least an hour. I'm pretty sure I got less than 5 hours of sleep, total, last night.
And my skin? I forgot to mention that in my last post. It is awful! I break out like crazy when I am pregnant. I'm looking forward to the warmer weather, when a tan will help cover it up. Some people swear this happens when you're pregnant with a girl, but I was like this when I was pregnant with Noah, so I think that's a load of crap.
This pregnancy has had a bit of a slower start than my last one, but I'd say I'm well on my way to feeling as crappy as I did last time I was gestating.
My husband sent me an email asking me to start browning some ground beef for his lunch before he gets home at 11... I think he's dreaming.
Thankfully I already had Diclectin for my nausea. Otherwise this would be much, much worse.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
6 Weeks 3 Days
Today I am 6 weeks 3 days.
Symptoms:
By this point with Noah I was dying from all-day sickness. It was absolutely brutal, and it started at 5 weeks 2 days. This time around I only have the slightest hint of nausea, and it started at exactly 6 weeks. So far, anyway. I am taking one Diclectin before bed (which then works for the morning time), and have been since my first hint of nausea, because I didn't want to end up like I was with Noah. But I could probably not even take it. My gag reflex is slightly more active than normal, and some things make me a little bit queasy, but it's seriously nothing. I know how bad it can really be, so this is nothing.
I'm not really having the indigestion I had with Noah, either.
I am peeing more, especially at night. I've been peeing about 4 times each night, never less than 3, and sometimes up to 5 or 6 times. It's annoying.
My boobs have definitely grown, which is confusing because it makes me feel like I have more milk, which I don't. My milk supply has taken a dip, but it is still there. Noah is nursing 3-5 times a day. Never less than 3, but 6 times would be very rare. My nipples hurt, but I'm getting used to it.
I'm getting a "pregnant vagina." Totally too much information, but hey, this is my blog. It's still very mild, and more like when I'm ovulating. I just don't remember this happening this early last time. Maybe it did and I just wasn't as aware.
I am seriously exhausted. I wake up and an hour later I could have a nap. All day long I just want to go to sleep. I don't think I was this tired when I was pregnant with Noah, but I didn't have a toddler and I was on summer vacation from work, so I could actually sleep if I wanted or needed to. Now I can't. So I am very very tired. Luckily Justin just finished basketball season on Wednesday, so he will be home more.
Emotions:
I am all over the place. The lack of negative symptoms (mainly: nausea) has me worried. My uterus also isn't contracting as much as it was at the beginning. Before I could feel it about an inch, inch and a half under my belly button, because it was always getting hard from the cramping. But that's not happening anymore, so I can't feel it, and I would just feel better if I could. If what I think is my uterus is actually my uterus, it's up quite high in my abdomen, which also freaks me out.
Sometimes I feel really calm, and like "Everything is going to be fine. On Wednesday you'll go to your ultrasound and there will be one little healthy baby with a healthy heartbeat, and in October you'll deliver one little healthy baby, and go home 6 hours later, and everything will be wonderful." This thought is wonderful. If I substitute "Two little healthy babies" for "one little healthy baby," I can still handle life.
Then other times I'm afraid I'm pregnant with triplets or more. I was pretty much over that fear for the majority of this week, but after pressing around in my belly to try to find my uterus (and possibly finding the fundus quite high up, as I mentioned), the fear is back. I know some people might think I'm crazy because you're not supposed to feel you're uterus this early in pregnancy. But, because I was so crampy, my uterus was very hard off and on, and it was definitely really far out of my pelvis. For some reason when I'm pregnant my uterus gets really big really quickly. When I was pregnant with Noah it was the same way. My uterus comes out of my pelvis right away.
Then other times I worry that I'm not nauseous because the pregnancy isn't progressing as it should.
Anyway, I also sometimes have the worries about "Should we have waited until Noah was a little older, and better able to handle it if I have to be away from him?" I would probably worry about this no matter how old he was, but obviously the older a child is, the better they can handle situations like that.
I am also feeling a little bit stir crazy. I want to get out and socialize, but I've been staying home a lot because my belly is enormous and hard to hide, and I really don't want to tell people that I'm pregnant yet.
Looking forward to:
My ultrasound this Wednesday! Seriously, I need to know what's going on. I have too much worry.
Pictures:
Just remember, 4 weeks ago I had a flat belly.
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I thought I was big in the first picture! Is anyone understanding my fear of multiples, now??
Symptoms:
By this point with Noah I was dying from all-day sickness. It was absolutely brutal, and it started at 5 weeks 2 days. This time around I only have the slightest hint of nausea, and it started at exactly 6 weeks. So far, anyway. I am taking one Diclectin before bed (which then works for the morning time), and have been since my first hint of nausea, because I didn't want to end up like I was with Noah. But I could probably not even take it. My gag reflex is slightly more active than normal, and some things make me a little bit queasy, but it's seriously nothing. I know how bad it can really be, so this is nothing.
I'm not really having the indigestion I had with Noah, either.
I am peeing more, especially at night. I've been peeing about 4 times each night, never less than 3, and sometimes up to 5 or 6 times. It's annoying.
My boobs have definitely grown, which is confusing because it makes me feel like I have more milk, which I don't. My milk supply has taken a dip, but it is still there. Noah is nursing 3-5 times a day. Never less than 3, but 6 times would be very rare. My nipples hurt, but I'm getting used to it.
I'm getting a "pregnant vagina." Totally too much information, but hey, this is my blog. It's still very mild, and more like when I'm ovulating. I just don't remember this happening this early last time. Maybe it did and I just wasn't as aware.
I am seriously exhausted. I wake up and an hour later I could have a nap. All day long I just want to go to sleep. I don't think I was this tired when I was pregnant with Noah, but I didn't have a toddler and I was on summer vacation from work, so I could actually sleep if I wanted or needed to. Now I can't. So I am very very tired. Luckily Justin just finished basketball season on Wednesday, so he will be home more.
Emotions:
I am all over the place. The lack of negative symptoms (mainly: nausea) has me worried. My uterus also isn't contracting as much as it was at the beginning. Before I could feel it about an inch, inch and a half under my belly button, because it was always getting hard from the cramping. But that's not happening anymore, so I can't feel it, and I would just feel better if I could. If what I think is my uterus is actually my uterus, it's up quite high in my abdomen, which also freaks me out.
Sometimes I feel really calm, and like "Everything is going to be fine. On Wednesday you'll go to your ultrasound and there will be one little healthy baby with a healthy heartbeat, and in October you'll deliver one little healthy baby, and go home 6 hours later, and everything will be wonderful." This thought is wonderful. If I substitute "Two little healthy babies" for "one little healthy baby," I can still handle life.
Then other times I'm afraid I'm pregnant with triplets or more. I was pretty much over that fear for the majority of this week, but after pressing around in my belly to try to find my uterus (and possibly finding the fundus quite high up, as I mentioned), the fear is back. I know some people might think I'm crazy because you're not supposed to feel you're uterus this early in pregnancy. But, because I was so crampy, my uterus was very hard off and on, and it was definitely really far out of my pelvis. For some reason when I'm pregnant my uterus gets really big really quickly. When I was pregnant with Noah it was the same way. My uterus comes out of my pelvis right away.
Then other times I worry that I'm not nauseous because the pregnancy isn't progressing as it should.
Anyway, I also sometimes have the worries about "Should we have waited until Noah was a little older, and better able to handle it if I have to be away from him?" I would probably worry about this no matter how old he was, but obviously the older a child is, the better they can handle situations like that.
I am also feeling a little bit stir crazy. I want to get out and socialize, but I've been staying home a lot because my belly is enormous and hard to hide, and I really don't want to tell people that I'm pregnant yet.
Looking forward to:
My ultrasound this Wednesday! Seriously, I need to know what's going on. I have too much worry.
Pictures:
Just remember, 4 weeks ago I had a flat belly.
6 weeks exactly (I chose this one because I thought Noah looked cute in the corner:):
For reference, here was 3 weeks 6 days (this is what I look like on an empty stomach first thing in the morning, now):
And here is 4 weeks 2 days:
And again, here is exactly 6 weeks:
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Thursday, February 9, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Busted Lip
Yesterday afternoon after Noah's nap he fell face first into our hardwood floors and gashed his top lip open. I felt terrible, because it was pretty much my fault. He had literally JUST got up from his lap and I carried him to the couch cradling him like a baby. After chatting for a couple of minutes while cuddling like that, he went to roll off my lap. This is a normal move for him, and he has never hurt himself. But somehow his balance was tipped all wrong this time, and his legs didn't hit the ground first - his face did. With no arms to protect him. Ugh, I shudder just thinking about it.
I wasn't super worried for the first couple of second because Noah is pretty tough, and rarely cries when he gets hurt. But when I picked him up his mouth was full of blood! I couldn't even see where the bleeding was coming from because there was so much of it. He was obviously crying, hard. He kept sadly begging for comfort ("Hug??!!!! Cuddle?!?!"), which I was giving him while also trying to clean up the excessive amount of blood and figure out what kind of injury we were dealing with. I couldn't stop the bleeding, but I figured out that his lip was torn open.
Finally he asked to nurse, which I had been waiting for. I told him he could, of course, but I warned him that it might really hurt his mouth. I actually didn't really expect him to be able to nurse for long because of the pain, but he did. When he was done he was completely calm, and the pressure from nursing had thankfully stopped the bleeding.
However, his lip was a total mess. Several gashes, deformed bulges hanging downward, and a large piece of skin hanging off of it all. He couldn't stop licking it, which was making me cringe (thinking about it still makes me cringe, actually).
He did really well for the rest of the day, and was acting like his normal self. By the evening his lip didn't look too terrible - the fact that all his licking removed the flap of skin was helpful.
This morning he woke up and his lip is shaped almost normally, it's just really scabby. It's amazing how quickly kids heal!
Regardless, I feel like absolute crap over the whole thing, since I totally could have prevented it. This is the second worst thing that has happened to Noah - the first being the time his own father fell down the stairs with him and broke his leg. He is not one of those kids who gets hurt often, because he's never really been accident prone. I have this nauseous feeling whenever I think about this whole thing (and I'm 99.9% certain that nauseousness isn't morning sickness).
This is cute little Noah, just an hour and a half before the unfortunate incident. He asked me to take a picture of him smiling right before his nap :)
He just melts my heart.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Cloth Diaper Addict
I am a total cloth diapering addict. I just started cloth diapering about 3 months ago, but I am a total addict. My stash is enormous - big enough for me to only wash every 8 or 9 days if I wanted to (but I wouldn't want to, because A - that's gross, and B - I love doing diaper laundry... see? Addict). I probably know more about cloth diapering than many moms who have been cloth diapering their children since birth, because I am obsessed. I have spent waaaaay too much time researching the whole topic.
Even before I was pregnant with Baby #2 I was constantly researching just exactly how I want to cloth diaper my newborn. We have a lot of one sized diapers, but they don't really fit newborns, so I needed to buy smaller diapers. I could just use disposables until the baby fits into the one sized diapers, but I would end up using disposables for over a month. Seeing as one of my main reasons for cloth diapering is health, it just doesn't make a whole lot of sense for me to not use cloth from the beginning.
I have had so much fun figuring out what to buy. I am going to have so much more than I need! Actually, my very first shipment of newborn cloth diapers came the day after I found out I was pregnant.
On the top row are Thirsties Duo Diapers, Size One, snapped to the smallest, medium, and largest rises (Ocean Blue, Storm Cloud, and Honeydew)
Second row, left to right: Thirsties Diaper cover (newborn, Baby Bird Blue), Thirsties Duo Wrap Size One in aplix (Honeydew), and Thirsties Duo Wrap Size One in Snaps (Storm Cloud).
Bottom row, left to right: Thirsties Duo Fab Fitted Size One (Honeydew), Unbleached Indian Prefold in Better Fit Infant, Unbleached Indian Prefold in Infant.
I have a bunch of Thirsties products in Size Two that I use on Noah right now. I love them all, because they really are thirsty, and they just fit so nicely. So I knew I wanted to buy a bunch of Thirsties products for the new baby, but I just bought a few of these to see just how small they really were. I have also ordered Bummis Organic Cotton Prefolds in Newborn and Infant (6 of each), and 6 Kissaluvs Cotton Fleece newborn fitteds.
Justin and I have discussed this at length... actually, I have thought about it at length, presented my findings to Justin, who then agreed with me... But anyway, "our" conclusion was that price is not really the factor here. Function is. Originally I was cloth diapering because of the cost savings, but that is no longer the case. If I'm going with the cost factor, fitteds and covers are pretty much the most expensive option. But, they work really really well. You know all those poop explosions you dealt with when you had an infant? They rarely happen with cloth diapers, and they are pretty much unheard of when you use fitteds and covers.
I didn't really want to go with all prefolds and covers, which is the cheapest option, because Justin isn't really up for folding and snappi-ing a prefold. And I'm not sure that I want to do that with a new baby in the house, either. We wanted simple and fast. I also didn't want to have to put a fleece liner in every single diaper, and I am not a big fan of fabrics that stay wet up against the baby's bum.
We also wanted super absorbent. I remember with newborn Noah, I never knew when he was going to fall asleep. I don't want to stress about the fact that my newborn just fell asleep, but had already been in the same diaper for an hour and a half and would for sure start leaking during his nap. I rarely had to worry about that with disposables, but I do have some cloth diapers that wouldn't perform very well in that area.
So I'm pretty sure that fitteds, covers, and some pocket diapers stuffed with hemp or prefolds are our main choices for cloth diapering our new baby. I think I will buy a bunch of Kawaii's Pure and Natural diapers, which are aplix (a.k.a. very Daddy and Grandma friendly) and specifically for newborns, but I will stuff them with hemp and/or prefolds, not just with the inserts they come with. I've heard that organic cotton is extremely absorbent (perhaps even equal to hemp?), which is where the Bummis Organic Prefolds come in. I thought they were worth a try, since they are considerably cheaper than hemp.
My plan right now is to order a bunch more Thirsties Duo Fab Fitteds (I think I'd like to have at least 10 of them), and a few Kissaluvs Organic Cotton Hemp newborn fitteds (I have one of these for Noah and they are pretty absorbent). I will definitely order a ton more hemp boosters, hemp inserts, and hemp prefolds, and I will probably also order more Indian Cotton prefolds. Ideally I would like to stuff every pocket diaper I own with hemp or a prefold... I'm just not a huge fan of microfiber. Finally, as mentioned, I will buy some Kawaii Pure and Natural diapers (probably 12-24 of them, to round out my newborn stash).
Watch me spend at least $500 on this. Actually, I have no doubt that I will. By no means have I taken the most cost effective cloth diapering route!
This is my current cloth diaper stash for anyone who cares (personally, I love seeing what's in someone else's diaper stash):
3 Kawaii Ultra Soft Cross-Over Square
Even before I was pregnant with Baby #2 I was constantly researching just exactly how I want to cloth diaper my newborn. We have a lot of one sized diapers, but they don't really fit newborns, so I needed to buy smaller diapers. I could just use disposables until the baby fits into the one sized diapers, but I would end up using disposables for over a month. Seeing as one of my main reasons for cloth diapering is health, it just doesn't make a whole lot of sense for me to not use cloth from the beginning.
I have had so much fun figuring out what to buy. I am going to have so much more than I need! Actually, my very first shipment of newborn cloth diapers came the day after I found out I was pregnant.
On the top row are Thirsties Duo Diapers, Size One, snapped to the smallest, medium, and largest rises (Ocean Blue, Storm Cloud, and Honeydew)
Second row, left to right: Thirsties Diaper cover (newborn, Baby Bird Blue), Thirsties Duo Wrap Size One in aplix (Honeydew), and Thirsties Duo Wrap Size One in Snaps (Storm Cloud).
Bottom row, left to right: Thirsties Duo Fab Fitted Size One (Honeydew), Unbleached Indian Prefold in Better Fit Infant, Unbleached Indian Prefold in Infant.
I have a bunch of Thirsties products in Size Two that I use on Noah right now. I love them all, because they really are thirsty, and they just fit so nicely. So I knew I wanted to buy a bunch of Thirsties products for the new baby, but I just bought a few of these to see just how small they really were. I have also ordered Bummis Organic Cotton Prefolds in Newborn and Infant (6 of each), and 6 Kissaluvs Cotton Fleece newborn fitteds.
Justin and I have discussed this at length... actually, I have thought about it at length, presented my findings to Justin, who then agreed with me... But anyway, "our" conclusion was that price is not really the factor here. Function is. Originally I was cloth diapering because of the cost savings, but that is no longer the case. If I'm going with the cost factor, fitteds and covers are pretty much the most expensive option. But, they work really really well. You know all those poop explosions you dealt with when you had an infant? They rarely happen with cloth diapers, and they are pretty much unheard of when you use fitteds and covers.
I didn't really want to go with all prefolds and covers, which is the cheapest option, because Justin isn't really up for folding and snappi-ing a prefold. And I'm not sure that I want to do that with a new baby in the house, either. We wanted simple and fast. I also didn't want to have to put a fleece liner in every single diaper, and I am not a big fan of fabrics that stay wet up against the baby's bum.
We also wanted super absorbent. I remember with newborn Noah, I never knew when he was going to fall asleep. I don't want to stress about the fact that my newborn just fell asleep, but had already been in the same diaper for an hour and a half and would for sure start leaking during his nap. I rarely had to worry about that with disposables, but I do have some cloth diapers that wouldn't perform very well in that area.
So I'm pretty sure that fitteds, covers, and some pocket diapers stuffed with hemp or prefolds are our main choices for cloth diapering our new baby. I think I will buy a bunch of Kawaii's Pure and Natural diapers, which are aplix (a.k.a. very Daddy and Grandma friendly) and specifically for newborns, but I will stuff them with hemp and/or prefolds, not just with the inserts they come with. I've heard that organic cotton is extremely absorbent (perhaps even equal to hemp?), which is where the Bummis Organic Prefolds come in. I thought they were worth a try, since they are considerably cheaper than hemp.
My plan right now is to order a bunch more Thirsties Duo Fab Fitteds (I think I'd like to have at least 10 of them), and a few Kissaluvs Organic Cotton Hemp newborn fitteds (I have one of these for Noah and they are pretty absorbent). I will definitely order a ton more hemp boosters, hemp inserts, and hemp prefolds, and I will probably also order more Indian Cotton prefolds. Ideally I would like to stuff every pocket diaper I own with hemp or a prefold... I'm just not a huge fan of microfiber. Finally, as mentioned, I will buy some Kawaii Pure and Natural diapers (probably 12-24 of them, to round out my newborn stash).
Watch me spend at least $500 on this. Actually, I have no doubt that I will. By no means have I taken the most cost effective cloth diapering route!
This is my current cloth diaper stash for anyone who cares (personally, I love seeing what's in someone else's diaper stash):
Diaper Stash
Pocket Diapers (40)
2 Kawaii Original Cross-Over Squared Tab Snap
5 Kawaii Snazzy Minky
5 Kawaii Heavy Duty Suede
5 Kawaii Fun Print Snap
2 Kawaii Minky Bamboo Blue Label
3 Kawaii Minky Bamboo Mom Label
4 generic suede cloth lined crossover snap one size pockets
3 Fuzzibunz Perfect Size Large
3 Thirsties Duo Diapers size One
Fitted Diapers (18)
3 Bumboo Bamboo Fitted Diapers (by Earth, Mom, and Baby)
3 Tots Bots Bamboozle Stretch Bamboo Fitted diapers, Size 2
2 Thirsties Duo Fab Fitteds (size 2, one snap, one aplix)
1 Thirsties Duo Fab Fitted (size 1, snaps)
6 Kissaluvs Cotton Fleece Fitteds (newborn)
1 Kissaluvs Cotton Fleece Fitted (size M/L)
1 Kissaluvs Organic Cotton/Hemp Fitted (size M/L)
1 Kissaluvs One Size Contour Diaper
Diaper Covers (9)
1 Thirsties Duo Wrap with Snaps size Two
1 Thirsties Duo Wrap with Snaps Size One
1 Thirsties Duo Wrap Size One
1 Thirsties Diaper Cover size newborn
1 Bummis Super Brite cover
4 Flip Covers
Wool Covers (5)
2 Kissaluvs Wool Covers, size Large
1 Woollybottoms Wool Soaker, small
1 Woollybottoms Wool Soaker, medium
1 Woollybottoms Wool Soaker, large
Inserts and Doublers (88):
12 Stay Flip Stay Dry Inserts
2 Thirsties Stay Dry Duo Insert (with hemp)
4 Thirsties Hemp Inserts
2 AMP 2 Layer Hemp Boosters
2 AMP 3 Layer Hemp Boosters
1 AMP 2 Layer Hemp Insert
1 AMP 3 Layer Hemp Insert
10 Kawaii Bamboo Inserts
4 generic Microfiber Inserts
50 Kawaii Microfiber Inserts
Prefolds/Flats (19):
1 Thirsties Duo Hemp Prefold
2 Unbleached Birdseye Flat Diapers
2 Unbleached Indian Cotton Prefold in Premium and Better Fit Premium
2 Unbleached Indian Cotton Prefold in Infant and Better Fit Infant
6 Bummis Organic Cotton Prefolds in Newborn
6 Bummis Organic Cotton Prefolds in Infant
Liners
Bummis BioSoft Liners
5 Bummis Fleece Liners
40 Fleece Liners
Monday, February 6, 2012
Monday Mush
-I LOVE my kid. Noah is such a good boy, and so pleasant to be around. He is so freaking adorable I can't even handle it. For the past while he has become even more affectionate than usual. He is constantly hugging me, kissing me, and doing super adorable things for me. A few days ago my mom, while joking about the size of my baby belly, said that maybe I'll give birth to another 2 year old. I said that would be fine with me. I love my almost-two-year-old. He is smart, he is funny, and he just makes every day awesome. I love taking care of him all day every day.
-The first trimester exhaustion hit a few days ago. As much as Noah is awesome, he does not sleep enough hours for me to be well rested and still have an hour or two per day to spend alone or with my husband. He sleeps about 10.5 hours at night lately. And less than an hour for his nap. Enough for him? Yes. Enough for me? No.
-Exhaustion? Check. Sore Nipples? Check. That started at 4 weeks 2 days. Nursing feels exactly how it used to feel everytime I ovulated. Except for then, I knew it would be over within a few days. Now I have the next 8 months to enjoy this.
-Is there a way I can specifically block Facebook statuses where people are complaining about the lack of winter we've had so far where I live? Seriously, I'm starting to get really annoyed. I kind of want to punch them in the face. Or call them idiots. For heaven's sake, we normally are drowning in winter and desperate for some sunshine and bare roads at this time of year. Last year we got so much snow in such a short time that it was declared a State of Emergency and the army had to fly in with their helicopters to save the 400+ people who were completely stranded in their cars for up to 48 hours. People died. A few weeks ago, the day of our IUI, it was the day winter finally decided to make an appearance, and I was only 20 minutes ahead of a 26 car pile up on the highway. Again, several people died. If my IUI had been scheduled half an hour later, I would have been in that pileup. Are we forgetting these things, people? Winter is not really all that fun. Snow is not really all that fun. It's cold, it's messy, and it's dangerous. So shut your mouths, you idiots who clearly live in apartment buildings and don't have to shovel out your driveways, and who don't have to drive more than 3 minutes to work. You're wishing trouble on the rest of society.
Friday, February 3, 2012
This Belly's Made For Growing...
And that's just what it'll do.
Seriously, my belly has grown. I wasn't totally sure, but it felt like it was bigger, so I took a picture to compare.
Here is today's (Friday's) belly shot, 4 weeks 2 days:
This was 3 weeks 6 days:
Hmm. That happened in 3 days. Can you see why I really didn't want to wait until 7 weeks 5 days for my ultrasound?
I should mention that my uterus is already halfway to my belly button.
I better not have quints in there.
Seriously, my belly has grown. I wasn't totally sure, but it felt like it was bigger, so I took a picture to compare.
Here is today's (Friday's) belly shot, 4 weeks 2 days:
This was 3 weeks 6 days:
Hmm. That happened in 3 days. Can you see why I really didn't want to wait until 7 weeks 5 days for my ultrasound?
I should mention that my uterus is already halfway to my belly button.
I better not have quints in there.
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