Next Tuesday Justin, Noah, and I are leaving to join my parents at the cottage in Muskoka. We did this last year when Noah was 3.5 months old. It went really well. Except that he started a sleep regression while we were up there that lasted until he was 7 months and we were finally forced to let him CIO.
However, this year he is 15.5 months old. It's a whole other ball game, and I am getting extremely nervous about it. This child has not slept in a crib that was not his own since he was 9 months old. Not because I haven't tried, but because he physically wouldn't sleep. He just cried and cried. He also has not slept in a pack 'n play since then.
The sleeping arrangement at the cottage is for Noah to sleep in a pack 'n play in the same small room as us.
He does not sleep in the same room as us - if he wakes up and sees us, I'm fairly certain it will make him cry and cry and cry and cry....
He will not sleep in the same bed as us, because he thinks it's playtime. I've tried it. Besides, I could never sleep with him in bed with me. Again, I've tried it. I'd be more than willing to go this route if it would actually lead to sleep for us, but it won't.
I am not against CIO - its actually a normal part of our lives. I didn't want it to be (ohh, how I was against it, and ohhh how I judged parents who used it), but unfortunately we do not get to chose the temperaments of our children, and my child responds to nothing else. Everything else just prolongs the process of getting to sleep. As in, hours and hours of screaming. I do nurse him to sleep most of the time. However, if he doesn't fall asleep nursing, sometimes he goes to bed awake with no problems, and sometimes he cries first. It usually doesn't last more than a few minutes.
However, I'm not too keen on the idea of taking him to a new place, a new room, putting him in a strange contraption that he has zero memory of ever sleeping in, and letting him scream. I will feel terrible doing that. It just seems so mean! What if he thinks I've abandoned him? What if he is legitimately scared, not just protesting the idea of sleep?
However, he is also a child who protests the idea of sleep. He doesn't just cry over 'abandonment issues.' I am fairly certain that if I stay in the room with him, he will scream for hours just because I'm there, try to climb out of the pack 'n play, and wonder why I won't pick him up.
I'm not sure there's any way for me to win, here. I am really really scared that his sleep will go so far into the toilet I won't be able to get it back out again. And I'm not sure how I'm going to survive if I'M not getting any sleep.
I've already decided that if the sleep situation is unbearable, we will leave after a couple of days. This will suck though, because it is a 5 hour drive there and back - it hardly seems worth it.
Why are we going, you ask? Well, my parents really love Noah, and really love Justin and I, and really want us to be there. And the awake time should be lots of fun. I have been to Muskoka every summer of my life, except for the summer we conceived Noah (we were in the middle of treatments, and the actual IUI was July 7, while my family was up at the cottage). I love it up there. Sand, water, new surroundings... I think Noah will love that part of it.
So, here is where I ask you for help/advice. If you have a child similar to Noah, how have you gotten them to sleep properly in a new place?
Also, what the heck should I do with a 15 month old during a 5 hour car ride? He will sleep for part of it, but most likely only for a hour, hour and a half tops. Are there any activities or especially captivating toys or videos or something that will entertain him during the other 4 hours?
Showing posts with label CIO. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CIO. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Nap Training
(Noah is 8 months and 3 weeks old)
Around the time that Noah turned 2 months old his napping went in the crapper. Before this time he was a normal napper. Some long naps, some short naps, but he was a newborn, it was all normal. Then right around the 2 month mark he stopped having long naps. He only took four 30-40 minute naps a day (I've never understood this 45 minute mark people speak of... Noah has never had a 45 minute mark). But at that time he was sleeping 12-13 hours at night.
Since then he'd occasionally have a good nap. He's had a week or two where I could almost count on 1 good nap (of about an hour) each day. He even had a week where he had TWO good naps on most of the days. I think this occured around 5 months.
For the past long while I have been very lucky if he has two "long" naps in a week. That means out of 21 naps he takes in a week, 2 of them are about an hour long. Maybe. That's not very many.
It doesn't even matter how long he's been awake before his naps. I've tried shortening his awake times and lengthening them - he still only naps 30 minutes (rarely - almost never - does he make it to 40 minutes). This past weekend we had Christmas festivities at my parents' house (which I have yet to post about) and Noah only had two half hour naps on both Saturday and Sunday. On Saturday he was awake for FIVE HOURS between his first and second nap, and he STILL only slept 30 minutes max. This 5 hour awake period was not by my choice; he had woken up as soon as he hit the mattress everytime I put him down in the crib, and since he wasn't in his own room he refused to just close his eyes again, which is what he does 90% of the time that we're at home ever since I used CIO at night.
For quite awhile now Noah has been not even hitting the 30 minute mark for most of his naps - including the time that he spends sleeping in my arms. So since he can only fit in three naps a day because he refuses to go to sleep before he's been awake for at least 2 hours and 15 minutes, sometimes longer, that means he's getting about an hour and 15 minutes of naps each day.
That's it. And it's not like he's even sleeping 12 hours at night. He sleeps about 11 hours most nights, often a little less, occasionally a little more. But he never sleeps 12 hours at night. So if you do the math, my 8 month old is getting 12 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. That is on the low end of what a child over a year old is supposed to get; most children over a year old get a lot more than this.
I have been getting AWFULLY tired of him waking up from his naps after 20 or 25 minutes, regardless of how long he has been awake. I am also getting concerned, because as he gets older his awake times are going to lengthen even more. Currently his awake times are usually about 2.5 hours (although he often goes a lot longer than that before bedtime). That's already pretty long considering how short his naps are. But when his awake times length again and he needs to go down to 2 naps a day, he is STILL only going to be sleeping for half an hour per nap. So then he'll only nap an hour each day.
I've been hoping Noah would self-correct his crappy naps. I don't know why I would hope this, because all his tendencies lean toward him being a crappy sleeper. But people would always say "Oh, as he gets older and more active he'll nap longer" (BULL! He's been on the move since 5 months and he's been a little spider monkey since 6 months, bear crawling, real crawling, standing, climbing stairs, trying to climb couches and beds, HE NEVER STOPS MOVING). Also, a lot of the research I've done has said that it's VERY common for young babies to have 30-45 (again with the 45!) minute naps, and this often self-corrects around 6 months of age - so don't sleep train if you don't have to.
Well, Noah was 11 days early... and not every baby follows the same timetable... so I was hoping maybe the self-correction was still coming.
It's not. In 10 days he's going to be 9 months. I'm done waiting. I have decided to take matters into my own hands. We are now nap training.
I'm not using any specific method. Yesterday was the day I made this decision. Noah woke up from a nap just as I was getting out of the shower. He immediately started crying, and he had only slept 25 minutes, so I decided he could CIO. It was kind of a decision by default. I was annoyed with his super short naps, and I didn't want to run and get him while I was in a towel and then have to comfort a disgruntled baby and not be able to get dressed or brush out my hair until after he was happy enough to play on the floor in my bedroom. So I let him cry. Then by the time I was all ready for the day, he'd been crying for 25 minutes. I didn't want to go get him then, because I didn't want to teach him that if he just cries for a really long time then Mommy will come. I want him to realize that it's okay to cry for Mommy, but if Mommy doesn't come in a couple of minutes, she's not going to come and you should go back to sleep. This is the same idea I use at night. When he wakes up to eat I get him within a couple of minutes. If he wakes up earlier than he actually needs to eat and decides to cry, I don't go get him and after a couple of minutes he realizes that and just goes back to sleep because there really wasn't anything wrong with him.
So at this 25 minute mark I was feeling bad because I didn't know if he would go back to sleep, but I also didn't want to get him and teach him to cry for a long time. I was describing the situation to my friend who had just called, and about 2 minutes later Noah was asleep. He slept for another 50 minutes.
Nap #2 yesterday was the same. Noah woke up after half an hour and I let him cry. He only cried for 7 minutes that time and then went back to sleep - although only for 25 minutes for that second chunk. There was no nap #3 because there was no time for it.
Today I had really made the decision to nap train. So for nap #1 I nursed him, changed his diaper, put him in his sleep sack, and cuddled, rocked, and sang to him. His normal naptime routine. But this time, about 30 seconds after he closed his eyes I put him in his crib and left the room. He was drowsy, but awake. He started crying, I got in the shower, and 10 minutes later he was asleep (he had slumped forward from a sitting up position). 35 minutes later I heard him kind of grunt/whine, but nothing else. I checked on him after a minute and he was lying flat on his tummy. He slept another half an hour, then got up.
Nap #2 I did the same thing. Nursing, diaper change, sleep-sack, cuddle, rock, sing. About 30 seconds after he closed his eyes I put him in his crib. I am fairly certain he was still awake, and he squirmed a lot on the way down, but he just rolled onto his tummy and went to sleep. He slept about an hour.
Nap #3 I just put him all the way to sleep. We were on a time crunch and I didn't want him to cry for half an hour and miss his nap window and then be awake for 5 hours before bed.
I'd say today was a success. We'll see how things go tomorrow!
Around the time that Noah turned 2 months old his napping went in the crapper. Before this time he was a normal napper. Some long naps, some short naps, but he was a newborn, it was all normal. Then right around the 2 month mark he stopped having long naps. He only took four 30-40 minute naps a day (I've never understood this 45 minute mark people speak of... Noah has never had a 45 minute mark). But at that time he was sleeping 12-13 hours at night.
Since then he'd occasionally have a good nap. He's had a week or two where I could almost count on 1 good nap (of about an hour) each day. He even had a week where he had TWO good naps on most of the days. I think this occured around 5 months.
For the past long while I have been very lucky if he has two "long" naps in a week. That means out of 21 naps he takes in a week, 2 of them are about an hour long. Maybe. That's not very many.
It doesn't even matter how long he's been awake before his naps. I've tried shortening his awake times and lengthening them - he still only naps 30 minutes (rarely - almost never - does he make it to 40 minutes). This past weekend we had Christmas festivities at my parents' house (which I have yet to post about) and Noah only had two half hour naps on both Saturday and Sunday. On Saturday he was awake for FIVE HOURS between his first and second nap, and he STILL only slept 30 minutes max. This 5 hour awake period was not by my choice; he had woken up as soon as he hit the mattress everytime I put him down in the crib, and since he wasn't in his own room he refused to just close his eyes again, which is what he does 90% of the time that we're at home ever since I used CIO at night.
For quite awhile now Noah has been not even hitting the 30 minute mark for most of his naps - including the time that he spends sleeping in my arms. So since he can only fit in three naps a day because he refuses to go to sleep before he's been awake for at least 2 hours and 15 minutes, sometimes longer, that means he's getting about an hour and 15 minutes of naps each day.
That's it. And it's not like he's even sleeping 12 hours at night. He sleeps about 11 hours most nights, often a little less, occasionally a little more. But he never sleeps 12 hours at night. So if you do the math, my 8 month old is getting 12 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. That is on the low end of what a child over a year old is supposed to get; most children over a year old get a lot more than this.
I have been getting AWFULLY tired of him waking up from his naps after 20 or 25 minutes, regardless of how long he has been awake. I am also getting concerned, because as he gets older his awake times are going to lengthen even more. Currently his awake times are usually about 2.5 hours (although he often goes a lot longer than that before bedtime). That's already pretty long considering how short his naps are. But when his awake times length again and he needs to go down to 2 naps a day, he is STILL only going to be sleeping for half an hour per nap. So then he'll only nap an hour each day.
I've been hoping Noah would self-correct his crappy naps. I don't know why I would hope this, because all his tendencies lean toward him being a crappy sleeper. But people would always say "Oh, as he gets older and more active he'll nap longer" (BULL! He's been on the move since 5 months and he's been a little spider monkey since 6 months, bear crawling, real crawling, standing, climbing stairs, trying to climb couches and beds, HE NEVER STOPS MOVING). Also, a lot of the research I've done has said that it's VERY common for young babies to have 30-45 (again with the 45!) minute naps, and this often self-corrects around 6 months of age - so don't sleep train if you don't have to.
Well, Noah was 11 days early... and not every baby follows the same timetable... so I was hoping maybe the self-correction was still coming.
It's not. In 10 days he's going to be 9 months. I'm done waiting. I have decided to take matters into my own hands. We are now nap training.
I'm not using any specific method. Yesterday was the day I made this decision. Noah woke up from a nap just as I was getting out of the shower. He immediately started crying, and he had only slept 25 minutes, so I decided he could CIO. It was kind of a decision by default. I was annoyed with his super short naps, and I didn't want to run and get him while I was in a towel and then have to comfort a disgruntled baby and not be able to get dressed or brush out my hair until after he was happy enough to play on the floor in my bedroom. So I let him cry. Then by the time I was all ready for the day, he'd been crying for 25 minutes. I didn't want to go get him then, because I didn't want to teach him that if he just cries for a really long time then Mommy will come. I want him to realize that it's okay to cry for Mommy, but if Mommy doesn't come in a couple of minutes, she's not going to come and you should go back to sleep. This is the same idea I use at night. When he wakes up to eat I get him within a couple of minutes. If he wakes up earlier than he actually needs to eat and decides to cry, I don't go get him and after a couple of minutes he realizes that and just goes back to sleep because there really wasn't anything wrong with him.
So at this 25 minute mark I was feeling bad because I didn't know if he would go back to sleep, but I also didn't want to get him and teach him to cry for a long time. I was describing the situation to my friend who had just called, and about 2 minutes later Noah was asleep. He slept for another 50 minutes.
Nap #2 yesterday was the same. Noah woke up after half an hour and I let him cry. He only cried for 7 minutes that time and then went back to sleep - although only for 25 minutes for that second chunk. There was no nap #3 because there was no time for it.
Today I had really made the decision to nap train. So for nap #1 I nursed him, changed his diaper, put him in his sleep sack, and cuddled, rocked, and sang to him. His normal naptime routine. But this time, about 30 seconds after he closed his eyes I put him in his crib and left the room. He was drowsy, but awake. He started crying, I got in the shower, and 10 minutes later he was asleep (he had slumped forward from a sitting up position). 35 minutes later I heard him kind of grunt/whine, but nothing else. I checked on him after a minute and he was lying flat on his tummy. He slept another half an hour, then got up.
Nap #2 I did the same thing. Nursing, diaper change, sleep-sack, cuddle, rock, sing. About 30 seconds after he closed his eyes I put him in his crib. I am fairly certain he was still awake, and he squirmed a lot on the way down, but he just rolled onto his tummy and went to sleep. He slept about an hour.
Nap #3 I just put him all the way to sleep. We were on a time crunch and I didn't want him to cry for half an hour and miss his nap window and then be awake for 5 hours before bed.
I'd say today was a success. We'll see how things go tomorrow!
Friday, November 26, 2010
Tooth #5 and Sleep
Not that the two are related.
I forgot to mention that Noah was, in fact, getting his top right middle tooth. Back in my 8 month post I said that I thought he was getting it, and I didn't follow up. He did get it right at the 8 month mark, so he now has 5 teeth.
I'm hoping his top LEFT middle tooth won't be far behind. Two top teeth would look very cute. One top snaggle tooth... not as cute. lol :)
I have to say, Noah often seems to be large unaffected when he's actually cutting teeth. Maybe he's just used to it because he's gotten so many teeth, but I don't necessarily notice a huge increase in gnawing or crankiness - definitely not and increase in night wakings (incidentally, research shows that frequent night wakings are almost never caused by teething, but by other issues that just happen to coincide with teething... whether or not parents agree with that is a different story).
Speaking of night wakings, can I just say how glad I am that we (well, I) used CIO to teach Noah that he can fall asleep again on his own? Last night before I went to sleep I went in his room, like I do every night. Sometimes I fix his sleep positon because he moves all over the place and I don't like going to bed when his face is buried in the corner of his crib. I've never actually seen him do anything in his sleep other than roll over or kind of shift his body a bit, so I never knew how exactly it was that he would migrate all over his crib. I mean, the child is an acrobat and can do everything but walk, run, and jump without assistance. But I just always wondered how he would move around SO much if he was sleeping.
So I was in there, staring at him. He was lying on his tummy, like always, and I was considering dragging him down to the bottom of the crib again because I was envisioning him burying his face in the corner of the crib within the hour. He seemed restless, though, so I was hesitating. Suddenly he SAT UP. I dropped to the ground so he wouldn't see me (thank goodness for bumper pads - which are breathable, by the way). I peeked a few times and he was just sitting up, looking around, not making a peep. Then he just slumped forward and went back to sleep. Folded in half.
I'm so glad to know that if I hadn't done what I did (by letting him CIO to discover that he doesn't always need me to help him fall back asleep) I would still be putting him back to sleep a million times a night. It just reinforces that it was the right thing for us to do. Not that the sleeping through the night thing hasn't been reinforcing it. But it was nice to see Noah sit up, be awake, not make a sound, and just fall back asleep again. On his own.
I forgot to mention that Noah was, in fact, getting his top right middle tooth. Back in my 8 month post I said that I thought he was getting it, and I didn't follow up. He did get it right at the 8 month mark, so he now has 5 teeth.
I'm hoping his top LEFT middle tooth won't be far behind. Two top teeth would look very cute. One top snaggle tooth... not as cute. lol :)
I have to say, Noah often seems to be large unaffected when he's actually cutting teeth. Maybe he's just used to it because he's gotten so many teeth, but I don't necessarily notice a huge increase in gnawing or crankiness - definitely not and increase in night wakings (incidentally, research shows that frequent night wakings are almost never caused by teething, but by other issues that just happen to coincide with teething... whether or not parents agree with that is a different story).
Speaking of night wakings, can I just say how glad I am that we (well, I) used CIO to teach Noah that he can fall asleep again on his own? Last night before I went to sleep I went in his room, like I do every night. Sometimes I fix his sleep positon because he moves all over the place and I don't like going to bed when his face is buried in the corner of his crib. I've never actually seen him do anything in his sleep other than roll over or kind of shift his body a bit, so I never knew how exactly it was that he would migrate all over his crib. I mean, the child is an acrobat and can do everything but walk, run, and jump without assistance. But I just always wondered how he would move around SO much if he was sleeping.
So I was in there, staring at him. He was lying on his tummy, like always, and I was considering dragging him down to the bottom of the crib again because I was envisioning him burying his face in the corner of the crib within the hour. He seemed restless, though, so I was hesitating. Suddenly he SAT UP. I dropped to the ground so he wouldn't see me (thank goodness for bumper pads - which are breathable, by the way). I peeked a few times and he was just sitting up, looking around, not making a peep. Then he just slumped forward and went back to sleep. Folded in half.
I'm so glad to know that if I hadn't done what I did (by letting him CIO to discover that he doesn't always need me to help him fall back asleep) I would still be putting him back to sleep a million times a night. It just reinforces that it was the right thing for us to do. Not that the sleeping through the night thing hasn't been reinforcing it. But it was nice to see Noah sit up, be awake, not make a sound, and just fall back asleep again. On his own.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
8 Months Old!
I can't even believe my baby is 8 months old. He's been outside of me for as long as I knew he was inside of me (I found out I was pregnant on July 19th and he was born on March 18th - his EDD was March 29). Where oh where has the time gone??
Here's what Noah is up to at 8 months old:
-He weighs 18lbs 12oz (less than 50th percentile)
-He is 29.5 inches (about 95th percentile)
-He is 10th percentile for weight for height... just a little stringbean.
-He wears 12 month and 18 month clothing.
-He wears size 3 diapers (most Pampers BabyDry).
-He has 4 teeth, three from when he was 5 months old and one he just got in the past week. I think he may be working on his top-right-middle tooth, too. We'll see!
-He is still exclusively breastfed (except for solids at dinner; he still has never had a bottle), and he is getting to be a very cuddly nurser again.
-He eats about 4oz of solids before bedtime, but during the rest of the day it's just breastfeeding. He has finally ingested a small amount of liquid (1/3 pear juice, 2/3 water) from a "sippy cup" (a silicone spout sort of thing, not a true sippy cup). He's usually not that into it, though.
-Most solids still constipate him. So far the only safe foods are pears, prunes, peaches, and butternut squash. Peas, carrots, rice cereal, bananas, apples, apples and apricots, sweet potato, and sweet potato and turkey all constipate him. It's very frustrating, because it takes forever to unplug him again, and it makes it very difficult to introduce new foods. I think the fact that we keep having to switch back to strictly pears and prunes is starting to make him a bit pickier. He was at a point where he loved everything we offered him, but I don't know anymore.
-We just started Oat cereal in hopes that it won't constipate him.
-He's going to sleep at night usually between 7 and 7:30.
-He sleeps amazingly well at night after a very short bout with CIO. He pretty much sleeps 10 to 11 hours straight (with an outside range of 9.5 to 11.5), nurses, and then usually goes back to bed, depending on how long that stretch was (if it was 11.5 hours, he usually won't fall asleep again). He is usually awake when I put him back in his crib, but that seems to be the only time during the day and night that I can lay him down in his crib, walk away, and he'll often drift off to sleep, even if it's 45 minutes later.
-Bedtime routine is boob, solids, bath, boob, bed. He falls asleep nursing nearly every night.
-He has 2 or 3 naps a day.
-His normal awake time is about 2.5 hours. Sometimes as short as an hour and 15 minutes, and often he has a stretch of 3 hours or more in the evening.
-His naps are still crappy most of the time. In an entire week he maybe has 2 or 3 naps that are about an hour long. The rest are all 30-40 minutes.
-He's still rocked to sleep with a soother for all his naps. I've tried letting him CIO for naps, but the crying is usually much worse than it was at nighttime when we used CIO, so I don't feel he's ready to go to sleep independently for all his naps.
-He is still swaddled at nighttime, but we recently have stopped swaddling for naps. I think it's going okay.
-He sleeps on his tummy even when he's swaddled. I thought this was just the worst thing until I remembered that when I used to sleep on my tummy (before being pregnant and nursing... I haven't slept on my tummy in a very very long time) I would always sleep with my arms straight down at my sides. So it's not like it's uncomfortable.
-Everytime we go to get him out of his crib he's standing up waiting for us. It's one of those things I always dreamed of about being a mom:)
-He crawls on his hands and knees exclusively. He started doing this right at 7 months, and had ditched army crawling completely by 7.5 months. The only time he'll army crawl is if he's trying to get under something that's too low to crawl under.
-He pulls up to standing using everything (even just a flat wall) and can sit down again on his own. His crib is on the 2nd lowest setting. He no longer needs someone to sit behind him when he's standing in case he falls, because he pretty much never falls. He doesn't even lean on the things that are supporting him. He just needs a hand on something to steady himself.
-He can just sit there in a squatting position, not holding on to anything.
-He can stand on his own - without holding on to anything - for a few seconds at a time. His record is about 5 seconds. This is by no means something he has mastered, though.
-He is understanding object permanence and looks for dropped objects.
-He has seperation anxiety and stranger anxiety. Fun fun!:)
-If he wants to be picked up and you are across the room, he will whine and crawl over to you and use your legs to stand up until you pick him up.
-He gives me lots of kisses everyday. He's started to "talk" while he does it, I think because when I kiss him I often am going "Muah, muah muah, muah." He's started to open his mouth, plant it on me, and go "Ahhhhhh." He doesn't kiss anybody else, usually, but yesterday he gave his friend Aubrey (3 weeks older) a kiss on the cheek, "Ahhh" and everything..
-He likes to sit in the bumbo on the kitchen counter while I cook.
-He babbles lots and sometimes purposefully imitates the sounds we make ("bat"). His most common sound is "Dada."
-He laughs his head off when Justin turns the ring stacker upside down, spins it like a top, and says "BING!"
-He doesn't get his soother much during the day, so he's falling out of love with it. When he does get it during the day, he plays with it more than he sucks on it.
-He still does the head-tilt thing, but it's becoming less frequent than it was a month ago.
-He loves our cats, but they do not love him. It makes me not love them.
There it is! Happy 8 months, my sweet little Noah! The past 8 months have been the best and happiest 8 months of my life.
Here's what Noah is up to at 8 months old:
-He weighs 18lbs 12oz (less than 50th percentile)
-He is 29.5 inches (about 95th percentile)
-He is 10th percentile for weight for height... just a little stringbean.
-He wears 12 month and 18 month clothing.
-He wears size 3 diapers (most Pampers BabyDry).
-He has 4 teeth, three from when he was 5 months old and one he just got in the past week. I think he may be working on his top-right-middle tooth, too. We'll see!
-He is still exclusively breastfed (except for solids at dinner; he still has never had a bottle), and he is getting to be a very cuddly nurser again.
-He eats about 4oz of solids before bedtime, but during the rest of the day it's just breastfeeding. He has finally ingested a small amount of liquid (1/3 pear juice, 2/3 water) from a "sippy cup" (a silicone spout sort of thing, not a true sippy cup). He's usually not that into it, though.
-Most solids still constipate him. So far the only safe foods are pears, prunes, peaches, and butternut squash. Peas, carrots, rice cereal, bananas, apples, apples and apricots, sweet potato, and sweet potato and turkey all constipate him. It's very frustrating, because it takes forever to unplug him again, and it makes it very difficult to introduce new foods. I think the fact that we keep having to switch back to strictly pears and prunes is starting to make him a bit pickier. He was at a point where he loved everything we offered him, but I don't know anymore.
-We just started Oat cereal in hopes that it won't constipate him.
-He's going to sleep at night usually between 7 and 7:30.
-He sleeps amazingly well at night after a very short bout with CIO. He pretty much sleeps 10 to 11 hours straight (with an outside range of 9.5 to 11.5), nurses, and then usually goes back to bed, depending on how long that stretch was (if it was 11.5 hours, he usually won't fall asleep again). He is usually awake when I put him back in his crib, but that seems to be the only time during the day and night that I can lay him down in his crib, walk away, and he'll often drift off to sleep, even if it's 45 minutes later.
-Bedtime routine is boob, solids, bath, boob, bed. He falls asleep nursing nearly every night.
-He has 2 or 3 naps a day.
-His normal awake time is about 2.5 hours. Sometimes as short as an hour and 15 minutes, and often he has a stretch of 3 hours or more in the evening.
-His naps are still crappy most of the time. In an entire week he maybe has 2 or 3 naps that are about an hour long. The rest are all 30-40 minutes.
-He's still rocked to sleep with a soother for all his naps. I've tried letting him CIO for naps, but the crying is usually much worse than it was at nighttime when we used CIO, so I don't feel he's ready to go to sleep independently for all his naps.
-He is still swaddled at nighttime, but we recently have stopped swaddling for naps. I think it's going okay.
-He sleeps on his tummy even when he's swaddled. I thought this was just the worst thing until I remembered that when I used to sleep on my tummy (before being pregnant and nursing... I haven't slept on my tummy in a very very long time) I would always sleep with my arms straight down at my sides. So it's not like it's uncomfortable.
-Everytime we go to get him out of his crib he's standing up waiting for us. It's one of those things I always dreamed of about being a mom:)
-He crawls on his hands and knees exclusively. He started doing this right at 7 months, and had ditched army crawling completely by 7.5 months. The only time he'll army crawl is if he's trying to get under something that's too low to crawl under.
-He pulls up to standing using everything (even just a flat wall) and can sit down again on his own. His crib is on the 2nd lowest setting. He no longer needs someone to sit behind him when he's standing in case he falls, because he pretty much never falls. He doesn't even lean on the things that are supporting him. He just needs a hand on something to steady himself.
-He can just sit there in a squatting position, not holding on to anything.
-He can stand on his own - without holding on to anything - for a few seconds at a time. His record is about 5 seconds. This is by no means something he has mastered, though.
-He is understanding object permanence and looks for dropped objects.
-He has seperation anxiety and stranger anxiety. Fun fun!:)
-If he wants to be picked up and you are across the room, he will whine and crawl over to you and use your legs to stand up until you pick him up.
-He gives me lots of kisses everyday. He's started to "talk" while he does it, I think because when I kiss him I often am going "Muah, muah muah, muah." He's started to open his mouth, plant it on me, and go "Ahhhhhh." He doesn't kiss anybody else, usually, but yesterday he gave his friend Aubrey (3 weeks older) a kiss on the cheek, "Ahhh" and everything..
-He likes to sit in the bumbo on the kitchen counter while I cook.
-He babbles lots and sometimes purposefully imitates the sounds we make ("bat"). His most common sound is "Dada."
-He laughs his head off when Justin turns the ring stacker upside down, spins it like a top, and says "BING!"
-He doesn't get his soother much during the day, so he's falling out of love with it. When he does get it during the day, he plays with it more than he sucks on it.
-He still does the head-tilt thing, but it's becoming less frequent than it was a month ago.
-He loves our cats, but they do not love him. It makes me not love them.
There it is! Happy 8 months, my sweet little Noah! The past 8 months have been the best and happiest 8 months of my life.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Still Swaddling the CuddleBug, and Tooth #4
De-swaddling didn't go so well for us today.
Granted, it went way better than the first day of our last Operation NoSwaddle (which, coincidentally, coincided with the last time Noah was teething... so weird). This time I just put him in a sleep sack for all 3 of his naps. He went to sleep okay for all of them. His first nap was normal, about 30 minutes long. I thought we might be in the clear.
His second nap he slept 10 minutes - INCLUDING the time he spent in my arms. He had been up for awhile, so I let him CIO after he woke up. I don't usually do CIO during the daytime. In fact, I never really have. But I'm never sure what to do during the day. At nighttime I now know he won't cry for too long, and that he's actually tired and will fall asleep on his own. Naptime is another story. He's a chronic short napper anyway, and he seems more than happy with his 30 minute naps (I'm not, but I've learned to live with it). So when he wakes up even earlier than that, I never really know what to do. I always get him eventually, because I don't like him to CIO in the daytime, especially when I don't actually know if he's tired or not. Anyway, after this nap of only 10 minutes, I let him CIO basically by default. He started crying, and I waited to see if he would calm down and go back to sleep. Then because I waited, I didn't want to go in there because I didn't want to teach him that if he cries for a long time Mommy will eventually come. It would be terrible if that lesson spilled over into nighttime. Even though the research says that daytime and nighttime are controlled by different areas of the brain and have nothing to do with each other, really, it still worries me. So I defaulted. He cried for 25 minutes, and it was awful. He was SCREAMING, and he was all over his crib, standing up, sitting down, rolling around, standing up again, just screaming. Seriously, it was terrible. But I'm fairly certain he was just mad, because he would bury his face in the mattress and be quiet for 10 seconds and then start screaming again (I was watching through the crack in the door).
After 25 minutes of wailing he went back to sleep for 40 minutes. But then he woke up crying and crying again and I didn't have the heart to put him through that again, so I got him up.
Then his third nap he woke up after 10 minutes AGAIN. I just got him that time. It was 5pm and I didn't want him to take forever to fall asleep and then go to bed late because his nap went to late.
He was in a mood the whole rest of the day after that CIO nap. I discovered that he's cutting another tooth. On his bottom to the right of his middle teeth. He already has had the matching tooth on the other side for over 2 months, so I've been wondering when this one will come in. I discovered that it's cutting at the grocery store, of all places. So for dinner he had pears and prunes laced with Motrin and Tylenol. Yes, just pears and prunes. That's all he's had for days. We're still waiting on a normal poop. It's been weeks.
So I think we might stick it out with no swaddle for most of his naps, but I'm still swaddling him at night for now. I was hoping to just put him in the sleep sack tonight, but I can't have him be exhausted from not sleeping during the day OR at night.
On a much more positive note, Noah has been SO cuddly the past few days. SO cuddly. Lots of hugs and kisses and just constantly climbing into my lap whiel we're on the ground playing. Plus, each day we've had about 3 marathon cuddle/nursing sessions. Noah is still nursed pretty much exclusively, we just add in a meal of solids at nighttime before bed. During the day I usually nurse him when he's wide awake, not to put him to sleep, so he eats for MAYBE 10 minutes and then he wants to be on the go and play. But everyday for the past few days he's just laid there in my lap, awake, cuddling, suckling, staring at me, and playing with my face. He's not even eating, he's just suckling with no swallowing. He touches my nose, and I say "Nose!" He touches my mouth and I say "Mouth!" I nibble his fingers and he smiles and laughs. I started being able to say "Where's Mommy's nose??" and he'll grab or touch my nose. I don't know if it's just a coincidence, but he does it about 75% of the time that I say "Where's Mommy's nose??"
I love that he's just about 8 months old and we're having these long cuddle sessions. Especially since at about 4 months he became a very distractable eater, and generally only nurses for about 7-10 minutes at a time. I know he's not actually eating for most of the time that he's lying there, but I don't care. I adore the cuddle time. I like the cuddles I get during the rest of the day, because I do get lots of hugs and kisses and cuddles. But there is no other time during the day (unless he's sleeping) that he would lie in my lap, quiet and still, for half an hour. And I'm getting 3 of these cuddle/nursing sessions everyday lately! I love it. LOVE it.
Granted, it went way better than the first day of our last Operation NoSwaddle (which, coincidentally, coincided with the last time Noah was teething... so weird). This time I just put him in a sleep sack for all 3 of his naps. He went to sleep okay for all of them. His first nap was normal, about 30 minutes long. I thought we might be in the clear.
His second nap he slept 10 minutes - INCLUDING the time he spent in my arms. He had been up for awhile, so I let him CIO after he woke up. I don't usually do CIO during the daytime. In fact, I never really have. But I'm never sure what to do during the day. At nighttime I now know he won't cry for too long, and that he's actually tired and will fall asleep on his own. Naptime is another story. He's a chronic short napper anyway, and he seems more than happy with his 30 minute naps (I'm not, but I've learned to live with it). So when he wakes up even earlier than that, I never really know what to do. I always get him eventually, because I don't like him to CIO in the daytime, especially when I don't actually know if he's tired or not. Anyway, after this nap of only 10 minutes, I let him CIO basically by default. He started crying, and I waited to see if he would calm down and go back to sleep. Then because I waited, I didn't want to go in there because I didn't want to teach him that if he cries for a long time Mommy will eventually come. It would be terrible if that lesson spilled over into nighttime. Even though the research says that daytime and nighttime are controlled by different areas of the brain and have nothing to do with each other, really, it still worries me. So I defaulted. He cried for 25 minutes, and it was awful. He was SCREAMING, and he was all over his crib, standing up, sitting down, rolling around, standing up again, just screaming. Seriously, it was terrible. But I'm fairly certain he was just mad, because he would bury his face in the mattress and be quiet for 10 seconds and then start screaming again (I was watching through the crack in the door).
After 25 minutes of wailing he went back to sleep for 40 minutes. But then he woke up crying and crying again and I didn't have the heart to put him through that again, so I got him up.
Then his third nap he woke up after 10 minutes AGAIN. I just got him that time. It was 5pm and I didn't want him to take forever to fall asleep and then go to bed late because his nap went to late.
He was in a mood the whole rest of the day after that CIO nap. I discovered that he's cutting another tooth. On his bottom to the right of his middle teeth. He already has had the matching tooth on the other side for over 2 months, so I've been wondering when this one will come in. I discovered that it's cutting at the grocery store, of all places. So for dinner he had pears and prunes laced with Motrin and Tylenol. Yes, just pears and prunes. That's all he's had for days. We're still waiting on a normal poop. It's been weeks.
So I think we might stick it out with no swaddle for most of his naps, but I'm still swaddling him at night for now. I was hoping to just put him in the sleep sack tonight, but I can't have him be exhausted from not sleeping during the day OR at night.
On a much more positive note, Noah has been SO cuddly the past few days. SO cuddly. Lots of hugs and kisses and just constantly climbing into my lap whiel we're on the ground playing. Plus, each day we've had about 3 marathon cuddle/nursing sessions. Noah is still nursed pretty much exclusively, we just add in a meal of solids at nighttime before bed. During the day I usually nurse him when he's wide awake, not to put him to sleep, so he eats for MAYBE 10 minutes and then he wants to be on the go and play. But everyday for the past few days he's just laid there in my lap, awake, cuddling, suckling, staring at me, and playing with my face. He's not even eating, he's just suckling with no swallowing. He touches my nose, and I say "Nose!" He touches my mouth and I say "Mouth!" I nibble his fingers and he smiles and laughs. I started being able to say "Where's Mommy's nose??" and he'll grab or touch my nose. I don't know if it's just a coincidence, but he does it about 75% of the time that I say "Where's Mommy's nose??"
I love that he's just about 8 months old and we're having these long cuddle sessions. Especially since at about 4 months he became a very distractable eater, and generally only nurses for about 7-10 minutes at a time. I know he's not actually eating for most of the time that he's lying there, but I don't care. I adore the cuddle time. I like the cuddles I get during the rest of the day, because I do get lots of hugs and kisses and cuddles. But there is no other time during the day (unless he's sleeping) that he would lie in my lap, quiet and still, for half an hour. And I'm getting 3 of these cuddle/nursing sessions everyday lately! I love it. LOVE it.
Monday, November 8, 2010
"I'm doing the right thing, I'm doing the right thing..."
Last night... night 6??... was not as stellar. It wasn't terrible, it just wasn't as seemless as the nights we've been having. Noah kind of cried off and on from 3:20am until 4:10am, then cried again at 5 for a short time, and then I fed him at 6:15. The crying wasn't terrible. I would check on him during the quiet moments and he'd be lying there looking like he was sleeping. So he was obviously just trying to work something out. I don't know.
I didn't get much sleep last night because my husband woke me up snoring at 12:30am, after I'd only been sleeping for 2 hours. I had forgotten tot ake a gravol, so I couldn't fall back asleep until 3am. Then all the crying started at 3:20. Luckily after I fed Noah at 6:15 we went back to bed and I slept until 8. I think I got about 4 or 4 1/2 hours of sleep.
Today Noah only had 2 half hour naps. I asked Justin to put him down for his third one and Justin sucks at it, so Noah never ended up going down. He woke up from nap #2 at 2pm and went to bed at 7. 5 hours of awake time. That's a lot.
Tonight I had to call my mom to make myself feel better. I nursed Noah to sleep, like always, but when I put him down he woke up right away and started crying. My first instinct was to pick him up and soothe him back to sleep. But I am very afraid to do that anymore because Noah seems to get very addicted to me putting him to sleep in the middle of the night. So I hid, and then crawled out of his room so he wouldn't see me. He didn't cry very hard, and it ended up only lasting 5 minutes (and it was off and on the whole time), so I know I made the right decision. But I was still feeling guilty. Even though I know this is the best thing for Noah, so that he has the skills to fall asleep on his own, I still feel guilty letting him cry.
I just keep reminding myself that it'll be far easier to do this now than to try and start it when he's a year or a year and a half old. The earlier you start, the easier it is. And it's a very good thing for him to have healthy sleep habits and the ability to fall asleep on his own. I'm doing him a favour. I'm not torturing him.
I have to keep repeating that to myself.
I didn't get much sleep last night because my husband woke me up snoring at 12:30am, after I'd only been sleeping for 2 hours. I had forgotten tot ake a gravol, so I couldn't fall back asleep until 3am. Then all the crying started at 3:20. Luckily after I fed Noah at 6:15 we went back to bed and I slept until 8. I think I got about 4 or 4 1/2 hours of sleep.
Today Noah only had 2 half hour naps. I asked Justin to put him down for his third one and Justin sucks at it, so Noah never ended up going down. He woke up from nap #2 at 2pm and went to bed at 7. 5 hours of awake time. That's a lot.
Tonight I had to call my mom to make myself feel better. I nursed Noah to sleep, like always, but when I put him down he woke up right away and started crying. My first instinct was to pick him up and soothe him back to sleep. But I am very afraid to do that anymore because Noah seems to get very addicted to me putting him to sleep in the middle of the night. So I hid, and then crawled out of his room so he wouldn't see me. He didn't cry very hard, and it ended up only lasting 5 minutes (and it was off and on the whole time), so I know I made the right decision. But I was still feeling guilty. Even though I know this is the best thing for Noah, so that he has the skills to fall asleep on his own, I still feel guilty letting him cry.
I just keep reminding myself that it'll be far easier to do this now than to try and start it when he's a year or a year and a half old. The earlier you start, the easier it is. And it's a very good thing for him to have healthy sleep habits and the ability to fall asleep on his own. I'm doing him a favour. I'm not torturing him.
I have to keep repeating that to myself.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Night 4
Total Success.
I didn't want to call this post "CIO Night 4," because... drum roll...
Last night Noah didn't cry at all.
He was asleep at 7:30 and didn't cry once until 6am. I got him up to nurse him (I'm fine with feeding him after 10.5 hours, that's a long time for a 7 1/2 month old to go without food), and after that he was awake. I put him back in his crib and went back to bed and he didn't cry or make much noise at all. I dozed until 8:10 and then decided we should all get up. I could hear Noah making little noises, but he must have fallen asleep in those 2 hours because he was still fully swaddled at 8:10. There's no way he would have lied there for 2 hours quietly and not broken free of his swaddle.
I did hear him making little whining noises 2 or 3 times during the night, but they maybe lasted 30 seconds. They were just little noises like he used to make back when he was STTN, before he needed me to help him fall back asleep everytime he slightly woke up.
This morning he had another good nap of an hour and 15 minutes. I heard him sneeze and cough at the time he would normally wake up (after 30 or 40 minutes) but he fell back asleep on his own.
Yay for Noah. And yay for me. I feel like a new woman.
I didn't want to call this post "CIO Night 4," because... drum roll...
Last night Noah didn't cry at all.
He was asleep at 7:30 and didn't cry once until 6am. I got him up to nurse him (I'm fine with feeding him after 10.5 hours, that's a long time for a 7 1/2 month old to go without food), and after that he was awake. I put him back in his crib and went back to bed and he didn't cry or make much noise at all. I dozed until 8:10 and then decided we should all get up. I could hear Noah making little noises, but he must have fallen asleep in those 2 hours because he was still fully swaddled at 8:10. There's no way he would have lied there for 2 hours quietly and not broken free of his swaddle.
I did hear him making little whining noises 2 or 3 times during the night, but they maybe lasted 30 seconds. They were just little noises like he used to make back when he was STTN, before he needed me to help him fall back asleep everytime he slightly woke up.
This morning he had another good nap of an hour and 15 minutes. I heard him sneeze and cough at the time he would normally wake up (after 30 or 40 minutes) but he fell back asleep on his own.
Yay for Noah. And yay for me. I feel like a new woman.
Friday, November 5, 2010
CIO Night 3
Last night went pretty well again. Noah was asleep by 8:10pm (we've been pushing it later and later for a month because of the time change coming this weekend), and he didn't cry until 11:30. I actually wished he would have woken up at the beginning of the night like he always does to get the first cry over with then. Instead I was awoken for it. Boo.
At 11:30 he cried for 10 minutes, that was it. Then he cried from 3:45am to 4:15am, but again I didn't go in there. He can definitely go longer than 8 hours overnight without a feed, and he started crying at only 7.5 hours between feeds so I didn't want to just use the boob as a crutch to fall back asleep.
Then he cried again at 6:45am. At that point I figured he had gone 10.5 hours between feeds and was probably quite hungry. I was pretty sure he wouldn't go back to sleep if I didn't feed him, so I did. He went back to sleep until 8:45am. I went back to sleep until 8:30. Glorious.
I think Noah woke up and cried for a very short amount of time on a few other occasions during the night, but I don't remember because I didn't turn and look at the clock or anything. And honestly, the crying last night was not nearly as intense as it was the first night or even the second night. And Noah is happy and cuddly again today.
Yesterday, the first day after I fully committed to CIO from the beginning of the night, Noah had 2 long naps of about an hour and 15 minutes and one short 30 minute nap. Today he's had one 35 minute nap and one nap that was an hour and 40 minutes. He hasn't napped that long since a freak nap he had in his swing up at the cottage at the beginning of July. And like I said, it was a freak occasion. His longest nap is always an hour and 20 minutes MAX. He never ever sleeps longer than that, and even that is a rare occasion in our house. I don't know if it's because of the CIO at night or just a coincidence.
Again, I'm not looking forward to tonight because I really do hate listening to Noah cry and I'm pretty sure we're not done with that yet. Justin will be home tonight instead of off coaching, so there will be someone there looking at me with puppy dog eyes and making me feel guilty... not helping!!
At 11:30 he cried for 10 minutes, that was it. Then he cried from 3:45am to 4:15am, but again I didn't go in there. He can definitely go longer than 8 hours overnight without a feed, and he started crying at only 7.5 hours between feeds so I didn't want to just use the boob as a crutch to fall back asleep.
Then he cried again at 6:45am. At that point I figured he had gone 10.5 hours between feeds and was probably quite hungry. I was pretty sure he wouldn't go back to sleep if I didn't feed him, so I did. He went back to sleep until 8:45am. I went back to sleep until 8:30. Glorious.
I think Noah woke up and cried for a very short amount of time on a few other occasions during the night, but I don't remember because I didn't turn and look at the clock or anything. And honestly, the crying last night was not nearly as intense as it was the first night or even the second night. And Noah is happy and cuddly again today.
Yesterday, the first day after I fully committed to CIO from the beginning of the night, Noah had 2 long naps of about an hour and 15 minutes and one short 30 minute nap. Today he's had one 35 minute nap and one nap that was an hour and 40 minutes. He hasn't napped that long since a freak nap he had in his swing up at the cottage at the beginning of July. And like I said, it was a freak occasion. His longest nap is always an hour and 20 minutes MAX. He never ever sleeps longer than that, and even that is a rare occasion in our house. I don't know if it's because of the CIO at night or just a coincidence.
Again, I'm not looking forward to tonight because I really do hate listening to Noah cry and I'm pretty sure we're not done with that yet. Justin will be home tonight instead of off coaching, so there will be someone there looking at me with puppy dog eyes and making me feel guilty... not helping!!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Behaviour after CIO
I feel compelled to mention Noah's behaviour today after letting him CIO for 20 minutes last night. A lot of people are totally against CIO, and I am not totally comfortable with it either. I don't like having to let Noah cry by himself when I know I can soothe him. I'm only using it as a last resort and for Noah's own good, because his sleep was going to hell in a handbasket. (If he was only getting up 2 or 3 - or even 4 - times a night, I would not be doing this).
A lot of opponents to CIO claim that it causes damage to the parent-child relationship and results in a detached baby.
Noah was anything but that today, after letting him CIO last night. He was very cuddly and happy (cuddly, not clingy), and napped better than he has in a couple of weeks.
I don't necessarily think that's a result of CIO, but it certainly proves those individuals and groups wrong. At least in my case.
And so far tonight he's been asleep for an hour and hasn't cried once - very out of the ordinary. Maybe he's a fast learner! :)
A lot of opponents to CIO claim that it causes damage to the parent-child relationship and results in a detached baby.
Noah was anything but that today, after letting him CIO last night. He was very cuddly and happy (cuddly, not clingy), and napped better than he has in a couple of weeks.
I don't necessarily think that's a result of CIO, but it certainly proves those individuals and groups wrong. At least in my case.
And so far tonight he's been asleep for an hour and hasn't cried once - very out of the ordinary. Maybe he's a fast learner! :)
Could It Be?
(Noah is 7 1/2 months)
Last night I called my mom during bedtime routine and gave her all the facts of our situation in one neat package: Noah's sleep has been getting progressively worse; he seems to have learned he only wants to sleep in my arms; he's getting up at least 4 or 5 times a night, often more, but now he's sick. Last night I let him CIO at 4:30am and it seemed to "work" for the rest of the night. It's hard to know for sure after only one time and the "rest of the night" being only 3 hours.
I asked what she would do if it was her kid who was sick but had gotten into the habit of waking up a billion times a night just wanting to be held - and sometimes not even that. Would she let him CIO even though he's sick?
She said yes, do it right away when he goes to bed when you know he's dry and fed and not in pain (because I had given him solids laced with Tylenol and Motrin at dinnertime). Noah always wakes up screaming about half an hour after he falls asleep at the beginning of the night. ALWAYS. Sometimes several times. Whether he's sick or not. If I nurse him for 10 minutes, he gets up about 20 minutes after I put him down. If I nurse him for 20 minutes he gets up about 10 minutes after I put him down. He always does this and then I have to go rock him back to sleep. I've always found it to be a pain, but obviously I would rather spend a few minutes rocking him and comforting him than listen to him cry.
EXCEPT that he has now gotten into the habit of waking up all the time, not just at the beginning of the night. So I took my mom's advice and let him CIO when he woke up 25 minutes after I put him down (he had conked right out and went totally limp and slack after only 4 minutes of nursing!! Yay for having that time not sitting there in the dark!!).
The night before when I let him CIO at 4:30am it took 30-40 minutes for him to stop crying. Last night it only took 15-20 minutes. He did wake up and cry several more times over the course of the night, but for hardly any time at all and just went back to sleep quickly on his own. He went to sleep at 7:45pm and at 5:15am when I heard him whining I got him to nurse him. Not for his benefit, because I'm pretty sure he would have gone back to sleep in a couple of minutes on his own. But my boob (I only nurse from one side at night) was getting really full, and I didn't want to not be able to sleep because I was engorged. Depending on how full my boob is tonight I may not get him up to nurse. He doesn't actually need it at night, we've just been in the habit because it's the easiest way for him to fall back asleep. I really think he could easily go straight through the night with no nursing if I just "ignore" him when he cries from now on.
I know this probably sounds horrible, but I really am doing this for his own good. It's not good for a baby's brain to sleep the way Noah has been sleeping. He doesn't sleep at night OR during the day. When is his brain supposed to do everything it's supposed to do when he's sleeping if HE'S NEVER SLEEPING long enough?
It is so hard to listen to him cry and I wanted to go pick him up so bad at the beginning of the night because I knew that he would quiet right down if I did. But I also knew that if I did that, he would keep crying all night long, and that crying for a short time at the start of the night is better for him than crying off and on all night and getting less sleep.
I never thought I'd let Noah CIO because it bothers me so much. My heart pounds, I'm sure my blood pressure raises, and I feel so stressed out. Emotionally, I feel like a terrible parent. Logically, I know I'm not.
Before recently, Noah's sleep problems were never bad enough that I had to resort to CIO. He'd have bad nights, but he'd also have good nights. Sure, he was never as good as he was between 2 and 4 months, but I just figured it was an age thing and he'd get better. Instead, things have been getting worse and worse for a long time. It was time to do something about it, for both of our sake's.
The other "kinder" versions of CIO don't work for Noah because when he sees me he just freaks out more and cries for longer. So I can't go in there and "reassure him". He'll cry for hours if I do that. I've tried.
He seems to be getting it though, because he cried way less last night than the night before. I guess we'll see how it goes tonight. Maybe I'll call my mom again so I won't go rushing into his room, since I almost need to be physically restrained from doing that. He really needs to learn the tools to soothe himself to sleep. I'm not doing him any favours by doing it for him 10 times a night when he so very clearly is getting worse and worse at it.
If Noah can learn to sleep better this way, then it's worth it. I just might die a few years earlier from the huge amount of stress it puts on me. lol.
Last night I called my mom during bedtime routine and gave her all the facts of our situation in one neat package: Noah's sleep has been getting progressively worse; he seems to have learned he only wants to sleep in my arms; he's getting up at least 4 or 5 times a night, often more, but now he's sick. Last night I let him CIO at 4:30am and it seemed to "work" for the rest of the night. It's hard to know for sure after only one time and the "rest of the night" being only 3 hours.
I asked what she would do if it was her kid who was sick but had gotten into the habit of waking up a billion times a night just wanting to be held - and sometimes not even that. Would she let him CIO even though he's sick?
She said yes, do it right away when he goes to bed when you know he's dry and fed and not in pain (because I had given him solids laced with Tylenol and Motrin at dinnertime). Noah always wakes up screaming about half an hour after he falls asleep at the beginning of the night. ALWAYS. Sometimes several times. Whether he's sick or not. If I nurse him for 10 minutes, he gets up about 20 minutes after I put him down. If I nurse him for 20 minutes he gets up about 10 minutes after I put him down. He always does this and then I have to go rock him back to sleep. I've always found it to be a pain, but obviously I would rather spend a few minutes rocking him and comforting him than listen to him cry.
EXCEPT that he has now gotten into the habit of waking up all the time, not just at the beginning of the night. So I took my mom's advice and let him CIO when he woke up 25 minutes after I put him down (he had conked right out and went totally limp and slack after only 4 minutes of nursing!! Yay for having that time not sitting there in the dark!!).
The night before when I let him CIO at 4:30am it took 30-40 minutes for him to stop crying. Last night it only took 15-20 minutes. He did wake up and cry several more times over the course of the night, but for hardly any time at all and just went back to sleep quickly on his own. He went to sleep at 7:45pm and at 5:15am when I heard him whining I got him to nurse him. Not for his benefit, because I'm pretty sure he would have gone back to sleep in a couple of minutes on his own. But my boob (I only nurse from one side at night) was getting really full, and I didn't want to not be able to sleep because I was engorged. Depending on how full my boob is tonight I may not get him up to nurse. He doesn't actually need it at night, we've just been in the habit because it's the easiest way for him to fall back asleep. I really think he could easily go straight through the night with no nursing if I just "ignore" him when he cries from now on.
I know this probably sounds horrible, but I really am doing this for his own good. It's not good for a baby's brain to sleep the way Noah has been sleeping. He doesn't sleep at night OR during the day. When is his brain supposed to do everything it's supposed to do when he's sleeping if HE'S NEVER SLEEPING long enough?
It is so hard to listen to him cry and I wanted to go pick him up so bad at the beginning of the night because I knew that he would quiet right down if I did. But I also knew that if I did that, he would keep crying all night long, and that crying for a short time at the start of the night is better for him than crying off and on all night and getting less sleep.
I never thought I'd let Noah CIO because it bothers me so much. My heart pounds, I'm sure my blood pressure raises, and I feel so stressed out. Emotionally, I feel like a terrible parent. Logically, I know I'm not.
Before recently, Noah's sleep problems were never bad enough that I had to resort to CIO. He'd have bad nights, but he'd also have good nights. Sure, he was never as good as he was between 2 and 4 months, but I just figured it was an age thing and he'd get better. Instead, things have been getting worse and worse for a long time. It was time to do something about it, for both of our sake's.
The other "kinder" versions of CIO don't work for Noah because when he sees me he just freaks out more and cries for longer. So I can't go in there and "reassure him". He'll cry for hours if I do that. I've tried.
He seems to be getting it though, because he cried way less last night than the night before. I guess we'll see how it goes tonight. Maybe I'll call my mom again so I won't go rushing into his room, since I almost need to be physically restrained from doing that. He really needs to learn the tools to soothe himself to sleep. I'm not doing him any favours by doing it for him 10 times a night when he so very clearly is getting worse and worse at it.
If Noah can learn to sleep better this way, then it's worth it. I just might die a few years earlier from the huge amount of stress it puts on me. lol.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
When Will It End??
Last night was hell, once again. Most nights are not good, with me getting up 4 or 5 times a night with just one baby. It's enough to make me rethink when I want to have another child. 5 year age gap, anyone??
But last night we seemed to hit a wall.
Between 8pm and 1am Noah got up 7 times, and then I stopped counting. After 1 am he wouldn't stay down longer than 10 minutes. By 3:30am I had only gotten a maximum of 30 minutes of sleep, and the whole thing was ridiculous. Noah is sick AGAIN (frickin church nursery... we were only in it for 10 minutes!!) but it wasn't too too bad last night (today, on the other hand, has been awful). However, by 3:30am I was pretty sure that was no longer what was keeping him awake. He was just crying and crying and a lot of the time it didn't matter if he was being held or not. Several times the only thing that would calm him down was my boob. Then he'd seem pretty asleep so I'd put him down in his crib and within a few minutes he was crying again.
I had fed him twice, changed his bum so he wasn't wet, tried him swaddled and unswaddled, checked for a fever (nothing even close) and given him motrin in case he was in pain. Nothing worked. As the night went on things just got worse, and it seemed like he was just getting in the habit of only sleeping in my arms. Not Justin's, just mine. Except that I tried lying down with him in my arms and he only slept for 30 minutes - and fitfully, at that.
As I've mentioned, this problem has been building and getting progressively worse for a long time now. I can't remember the last time Noah had a good night, or the last time he even slept 4 or 5 hours straight. Then last night was just so bad. There was NOTHING I could do. At 3am I put him down and when he started crying at 3:08 I decided to let him CIO (cry it out), as hard as it is to listen to him get absolutely hysterical. I figured this was the best decision for Noah, given the circumstances.
Justin woke up and he hates listening to Noah CIO - understandably. I hate it as much as he does. But Justin doesn't have to deal with all the sleep problems. He pretty much sleeps through everything.
When he woke up concerned about the crying, I told him "There's nothing I can do, I've been holding him all night. He's not hungry, I've fed him twice. He's not wet, I changed his bum. He's not in pain, I gave him pain meds. He doesn't want to be unswaddled, I tried that. He just needs to cry." Justin understood that to mean that HE should go try, and he just made Noah worse.
I was SO mad because Noah was lying there for 10 minutes crying and then Justin went and "rescued" him (hardly!) so it was all for nothing. Justin also unswaddled him, thinking it would help, and it didn't. Then he wouldn't stop crying with Justin so I had to take him, reswaddle him, and put him to sleep again anyway. I told Justin that under no circumstances is he to get Noah again tonight. There was nothing wrong with him except a sniffly nose, and I'm truly doing what I think he needs me to do. I don't WANT him to CIO, but I honestly thought that even though Noah gets hysterical when you let him cry, that CIO might just be the best thing for him because he seems to have "learned" that he should only sleep in my arms. And that is not good. He was not resting.
So by 3:40 he was asleep again and at 4:30 he woke up crying (probably the longest chunk of sleep he had had the whole night), and I HATED doing it but I just let him cry. I checked on him from the doorway a couple of times when he sounded really really frantic (most of the time he was crying he sounded like someone was trying to cut his limbs off with a rusty butterknife, but occasionally it got even worse so I checked at those times). After a little over half an hour he stopped. After that there were a few bursts here and there but I never went to go get him for the rest of the night. He fell back asleep on his own.
I HATE CIO, but I really felt like it was my only option last night. I hated feeling like Noah was lying there screaming feeling abandoned, but I've tried the other versions of CIO before where you go in and check, or pick up put down, or whisper reassurances, or gently touch him so he knows he's not abandoned, but all those methods where I make myself visible to him only made things worse. One time he screamed for over 2 hours while I stood by his bed and tried pick-up-put-down. Seeing me just fuels his cries.
So I laid in bed with my heart pounding, wanting to cry myself, and FORCED myself not to get him. It seemed to have worked a little, because he didn't wake up as often after that. I guess we'll see what happens tonight. When he gets up for the first time tonight (like, soon after I put him down) I might let him CIO then and see what happens. It seems like we've reached the point where me getting him everytime he cries is making him cry ALL THE TIME, so I'm desperate for him to learn how to sleep properly again. But I don't know if I'll have the willpower to not go in and soothe him. I absolutely hate listening to him cry. But getting up 15 times a night isn't okay, for me or for him. And it's just getting progressively worse as time goes on, so I have to do something different.
I'm exhausted. I don't even think I got 3 hours of sleep last night. And Noah is sick (part of why he was getting up so often last night) and miserable from lack of sleep. He only had 3 naps today and they were all less than 30 minutes. Two of them were just 20 minutes. So tonight is probably going to be a complete gong show.
I want to cry just thinking about it.
But last night we seemed to hit a wall.
Between 8pm and 1am Noah got up 7 times, and then I stopped counting. After 1 am he wouldn't stay down longer than 10 minutes. By 3:30am I had only gotten a maximum of 30 minutes of sleep, and the whole thing was ridiculous. Noah is sick AGAIN (frickin church nursery... we were only in it for 10 minutes!!) but it wasn't too too bad last night (today, on the other hand, has been awful). However, by 3:30am I was pretty sure that was no longer what was keeping him awake. He was just crying and crying and a lot of the time it didn't matter if he was being held or not. Several times the only thing that would calm him down was my boob. Then he'd seem pretty asleep so I'd put him down in his crib and within a few minutes he was crying again.
I had fed him twice, changed his bum so he wasn't wet, tried him swaddled and unswaddled, checked for a fever (nothing even close) and given him motrin in case he was in pain. Nothing worked. As the night went on things just got worse, and it seemed like he was just getting in the habit of only sleeping in my arms. Not Justin's, just mine. Except that I tried lying down with him in my arms and he only slept for 30 minutes - and fitfully, at that.
As I've mentioned, this problem has been building and getting progressively worse for a long time now. I can't remember the last time Noah had a good night, or the last time he even slept 4 or 5 hours straight. Then last night was just so bad. There was NOTHING I could do. At 3am I put him down and when he started crying at 3:08 I decided to let him CIO (cry it out), as hard as it is to listen to him get absolutely hysterical. I figured this was the best decision for Noah, given the circumstances.
Justin woke up and he hates listening to Noah CIO - understandably. I hate it as much as he does. But Justin doesn't have to deal with all the sleep problems. He pretty much sleeps through everything.
When he woke up concerned about the crying, I told him "There's nothing I can do, I've been holding him all night. He's not hungry, I've fed him twice. He's not wet, I changed his bum. He's not in pain, I gave him pain meds. He doesn't want to be unswaddled, I tried that. He just needs to cry." Justin understood that to mean that HE should go try, and he just made Noah worse.
I was SO mad because Noah was lying there for 10 minutes crying and then Justin went and "rescued" him (hardly!) so it was all for nothing. Justin also unswaddled him, thinking it would help, and it didn't. Then he wouldn't stop crying with Justin so I had to take him, reswaddle him, and put him to sleep again anyway. I told Justin that under no circumstances is he to get Noah again tonight. There was nothing wrong with him except a sniffly nose, and I'm truly doing what I think he needs me to do. I don't WANT him to CIO, but I honestly thought that even though Noah gets hysterical when you let him cry, that CIO might just be the best thing for him because he seems to have "learned" that he should only sleep in my arms. And that is not good. He was not resting.
So by 3:40 he was asleep again and at 4:30 he woke up crying (probably the longest chunk of sleep he had had the whole night), and I HATED doing it but I just let him cry. I checked on him from the doorway a couple of times when he sounded really really frantic (most of the time he was crying he sounded like someone was trying to cut his limbs off with a rusty butterknife, but occasionally it got even worse so I checked at those times). After a little over half an hour he stopped. After that there were a few bursts here and there but I never went to go get him for the rest of the night. He fell back asleep on his own.
I HATE CIO, but I really felt like it was my only option last night. I hated feeling like Noah was lying there screaming feeling abandoned, but I've tried the other versions of CIO before where you go in and check, or pick up put down, or whisper reassurances, or gently touch him so he knows he's not abandoned, but all those methods where I make myself visible to him only made things worse. One time he screamed for over 2 hours while I stood by his bed and tried pick-up-put-down. Seeing me just fuels his cries.
So I laid in bed with my heart pounding, wanting to cry myself, and FORCED myself not to get him. It seemed to have worked a little, because he didn't wake up as often after that. I guess we'll see what happens tonight. When he gets up for the first time tonight (like, soon after I put him down) I might let him CIO then and see what happens. It seems like we've reached the point where me getting him everytime he cries is making him cry ALL THE TIME, so I'm desperate for him to learn how to sleep properly again. But I don't know if I'll have the willpower to not go in and soothe him. I absolutely hate listening to him cry. But getting up 15 times a night isn't okay, for me or for him. And it's just getting progressively worse as time goes on, so I have to do something different.
I'm exhausted. I don't even think I got 3 hours of sleep last night. And Noah is sick (part of why he was getting up so often last night) and miserable from lack of sleep. He only had 3 naps today and they were all less than 30 minutes. Two of them were just 20 minutes. So tonight is probably going to be a complete gong show.
I want to cry just thinking about it.
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