Winter Coats

The temperature has really dropped here this week. Coats are a necessity now. Two days this week I wore ponchos, which are great in this weather, especially when you just need to wear them to go from your car to a building. But they weren't so good for yard duty, so today I decided to wear my pea coat.

Unfortunately, I'm already almost too big for it. It used to be super roomy on me, and now I have to force it to button up. In a month (or less!) that won't fit either.

My big winter coat might last a little bit longer, but I'm pretty sure that by the time December starts it won't zip up.

I don't know what to do for yard duty. I don't want to buy an expensive gigantic winter coat made for plus-size people just to wear for 3 months. If I didn't have yard duty I would just stick with sweaters and my ponchos. But those won't keep me warm enough when I'm walking around outside in the swirling snow and freezing wind for 25 minutes during recess.

I wish I could get out of yard duty. But I really can't see that happening. Maybe my doctor can write me a note?? He could use the reason of me needing to stay off my feet as much as possible. Hmm... something to think about. Something tells me he won't do it though.

Suggestions?

Emotional Me

We had an assembly first thing this morning. At the assembly, one of the teachers read the book I'll Love You Forever by Robert Munsch. The absolute worst book to read to a hormonal pregnant woman.

I can hardly get through this book when I'm not pregnant. I was reading it to my grade 2/3 class last year and I had to take these long pauses because I was getting choked up. Well, today I was literally fighting back sobs. It was ridiculous.

Yesterday Justin and I were shopping for our mothers for their birthdays. We were looking at all these plaques and picture frames with sayings in them. And I was standing there in the English Butler crying. Over a few sayings about mothers and family.

The Grey's Anatomy premiere? I managed to not sob only because my mom was there and I was too embarassed. But I had tears in my eyes the entire show.

On Saturday night I hung out with my pregnant neighbour and we were watching the first season of Private Practice. It was horrible. The first episode was about a mother who lost her only child to cancer and never told her therapist and then suddenly had a breakdown in a department store because she saw a video of a family at the lake, which is where they went when he was dying.

The next episode was one where two babies were switched at birth and the mothers had to trade them back. Forget it. I was an absolute basketcase. I honestly thought I was going to walk home and dissolve into a crying fit as soon as I walked in the door. Miraculously that didn't happen.

"Whatever," you say, "I'd cry at that stuff too, and I'm not pregnant." Fair enough, I cried at those same things in the past.

But would you cry over the fact that you ran out of crackers? Or stuffing? Or because your husband gently teased you about something mundane that doesn't matter and normally would have made you laugh?

I didn't think so.

14 week pictures

Here is me and my enormous belly at 14 weeks:

I'm feeling pretty good these days. I threw up my banana this morning, but at least I don't have 24/7 nausea anymore. I'm exercising almost everyday, which really seems to help with the back pain. My acne is still bothersome, but today it is somewhat clearer than some other days (some days I literally want to hibernate in my house with a pillowcase over my head). My indigestion happens much more rarely than in the first trimester, when it was every single day.

My legs are itchy as heck, despite the fact that they're not dry at all and I moisturize every day. Some days my feet hurt like a bitch, even when I wake up in the mornings (after being off them ALL NIGHT!) I am literally peeing 5 or 6 times a night, which is extremely disruptive. That doesn't even count the other times I wake up and don't go pee. I'd say on average I wake up about 12 times a night. And I am exhausted every day. I can barely make it through the workday. I think I'm actually more tired now than I was through most of the first trimester. However, that could be because I wasn't working though my first trimester.

I'm started sleeping strictly on my sides, using a body pillow. I technically don't need to do that for another week or two, but I figure since I have a giant uterus I should probably start it a little earlier. I'm a back sleeper, so it's really a struggle for me, but I'm kind of getting used to it.

My abdominal muscles have already seperated. When I flex them I get a big bump down the middle of my abs... which is apparently what happens when your muscles are seperated. It kind of freaks me out.

My ligaments and joints are already loosening. I've had several occasions where my hip seemed to almost pop out of joint. And when I was leading the bootcamp in stretches last Tuesday my shoulder was doing the same thing.

I am still feeling the little bambino moving around softly. It's still not distinct, but since it's something I've never felt before two weeks ago and it's right in my uterus, I'm sure it's the munchkin.

So that's my update! No complaining, just sharing:) I am never complaining, even when I talk about the crappy pregnancy stuff. I am very thankful for every wonderful moment, as well as every bad moment.

Mystery Movement

I'm sitting here at work (not working... hmmm) and I'm pretty sure I keep feeling the baby move. I keep feeling these movements in my uterus like something is flipping. And there have been a few soft jabs.

I know I'm only 13.5 weeks, and it's early. But there have been a few moments on the past week or so where I wasn't paying attention but then suddenly thought I felt something. By the time I was paying attention I wouldn't feel it anymore.

But the past few minutes I've been feeling something that seems kind of consistent. It's faint though, and hard to really pin down. I guess because it's so early. I'm not 100% sure that it really is the baby. I guess I'll find out soon enough, when the movements because more distinct and I can say "Okay, that was the baby!"

I can't wait until I start feeling distinct movements everyday. That'll be so cool.

On Tuesdays J and I run a "boot camp" for women in our area. I love going because I get compliments on my belly:) Yesterday someone said "You have such an adorable baby belly. It's so perfectly round and compact!" That's like, the nicest thing you can say to a pregnant woman. Especially when you compare it to my mom a couple of weeks ago. She also loves my bump, but one day she said "Turn around, are you pregnant all over??" (looks at me from the back) "Yeah you're pregnant all over."

Ummm, PARDON ME?!? How rude is that?! And then she tried to say "I wasn't criticizing you! Don't take that as an insult!" Yeah right. How is that not an insult?

I think I'm looking pretty flippin good, considering I've gained about 10 pounds from being so nauseous and having to eat horrible carbs every hour and a half for 8 weeks to try and fend off the sickness. What person in their right mind would come right out and tell someone that they "look pregnant all over"???

Pet Problems

We are having issues with Lexie. We've had her since the beginning of June, and when we first got her there were a couple of incidents where she peed where she wasn't supposed to. But those were mostly innocent. One time she peed in an empty litter box, and another time she peed in an empty laundry basket.

But we're now having a lot of problems with her peeing where she's not supposed to. She's been pretty good most of the summer, but recently she's peed on the rugs in the bathrooms (multiple times), and we just found a big puddle of pee on the top of a bag of unopened litter.

We're going to go buy another litter box today and see if that stops the wayward peeing. I'm wondering if now that she's getting older she doesn't want to share a litter box with Emmie. Whatever it is, this can't continue. What if she pees on the baby? Or on the baby's stuff and ruins it?

I love both of my cats dearly. And I don't want to get rid of them. But we got them because we couldn't get pregnant and we needed something to take care of and nurture. Now that we're finally having a baby, life would be simpler if I didn't have to worry about cats. I have this horrible vision of one of the cats hopping into the crib and smothering the baby. Or thinking the baby's flailing arms and legs are toys to play with and bite at.

How do you have a baby and two cats and feel that the baby is always safe? I'm so glad we don't have a dog.

12.5 Week OB Appointment

I had an OB appointment yesterday. It was super quick. Not even time for questions, which was kind of disappointing. Probably because I had it at 4:00, the end of the day.

All we did was:

Blood pressure (normal)

Weight (eek!)

Reviewing the ultrasound briefly (apparently with the average of all the measurements, the baby ended up measuring about week ahead - 12.5 weeks when s/he was only 11.5 weeks. The baby is ahead in everything except length, where s/he's right on. What a good baby:)

Heartbeat (for a whole 10 seconds)

Talking about whether I would get the blood test portion of the nuchal translucency. I decided not to. I'm not going to terminate the pregnancy no matter what. And if my odds of having a baby with downs syndrome comes up as a little higher than I'd like, then I know I'd worry about it. But I wouldn't get an amnio to find out because I'm too paranoid about the risk of miscarriage. I decided that since I currently believe that my baby is super healthy because of the ultrasound last week where s/he seemed to have so much personality, I'd rather continue to think that way. So no blood test for me.

It was funny with the heartbeat, because this whole time I had pictured the doppler as looking like a stereo with a wand attached to it. I was always thinking to myself, "Where in the world does he keep the doppler?!?! Does he carry it around like a boom box from room to room?" It was so funny to me when I realized it was this tiny walkman type thing he keeps clipped to his pants. How that could be expensive is beyond me!

Speaking of dopplers, my pregnant neighbour's parents are doctors, and last time they came to visit, they brought a doppler. I was asking her last night "When are your parents coming to visit again? Can they bring their doppler??" because I have to wait 4 more weeks for my next appointment. I just like to hear the heartbeat... it reassures me for about a week at a time. She said she's going to ask them if they have an old one that she can have for the rest of her pregnancy. I really hope they do! I'd love to hear the baby's heartbeat whenever I want. Especially now, before I feel any movement.

I also found out that I can't have my next ultrasound until 20 weeks... :( That's so long to wait to find out gender! I wish there was a way around it. But when I even suggested doing it at 19 weeks 4 days because of my work schedule, there was a lot of hesitancy because that wasn't quite 20 weeks. The receptionist said they'd rather go later than earlier. What the heck?! How could it matter so much?

Kindergarten Quotes

On Wednesday I was teaching kindergarten gym for the third time. This little four year old girl was standing in front of me and this is how our conversation went (picture a really tiny cute little girl with an adorable voice):

Cassie: You look like you have a baby in your belly.

Me: That's because I do have a baby in my belly!

Cassie (in awe): You do??? Is it a girl baby or a boy baby?

Me: I don't know yet.

Cassie: You're going to be a mommy. You need to buy some sippy cups so you can feed the baby.

Me: Don't worry, I'll buy sippy cups for the baby.

Cassie: (touching her chest) Or you can just feed it with your boobs.

LOL!

Then a few minutes later a little JK boy who didn't hear the conversation said to me "Why is your tummy so full??"

It's really starting to spread around my school now. All the students are figuring it out by looking at me. They talk to their parents, who also look at me and see it. Then those parents talk to other parents. Soon everyone will know. I'm expecting that within the week. I finally told my class yesterday, so they'll all tell their parents too.

A lot of people are coming up to me and straight out asking me if I'm pregnant because of my bump. I get that at least once a day. And people who I haven't seen in a long time are definitely noticing. I ran into a high school friend who I haven't seen since grade 10, so she doesn't even know what I normally look like anymore. But right away she was like "Oh, you're expecting!! Congratulations!! When are you due??"

It's a good thing I'm actually pregnant, or this all would be so insulting:)

New Friends and Nesting

We recently found out that a couple right across the street are also pregnant with their first baby and that they were due around the same time as us. We didn't really know them, but we on Tuesday we talked to some people who did know them and less than 24 hours later we were all outside at the same time and they came over and said they heard we were expecting! Then on Friday we happened to meet up while we were out on walks and when we got back to our houses they invited us in for drinks (nonalcoholic for the pregos, of course).

She is due about 6 weeks before me (but I have a bigger baby bump than her). It was great to hang out with another couple who is expecting, and awesome for us to have made friends out here where we live. We'll both be off on maternity leave for a year together, and our kids can grow up with playmates! It'd be nice if they were the same gender.

We spent a lot of the evening talking about our babies and everything involved with them. It got me in the nesting mode. So on Saturday we set up our nursery! I'd been keeping my eye on Kijiji for nice baby items for a long time now. We've gotten a couple of things so far. There were always lots of cribs available, but none of them really caught my eye. Then suddenly yesterday a gently used crib and change table popped up for $200 that we actually really liked!

It wouldn't have been our very first choice of furniture if we were willing to spend any amount and we were buying brand new, but we still really like it. And I already had the dresser that matches perfectly to all the furniture. The crib and change table are solid wood, really sturdy stuff. I'm thrilled with it. And really happy I didn't have to spend thousands of dollars for furniture for that room. I'm too frugal for that. The only piece of furniture we still need for that room is a rocker.

So now we have a crib, change table, dresser, bouncy chair, and baby swing. We got it all gently used, and only spent $290. I added it up (because all these items are still available in stores) and if we had bought them all brand new we would have spent over $1500.

We still want to paint (I'm thinking greyish-blue), and we need bedding and the rest of the baby items. But I love walking in that room and having all the furniture arranged. The baby's room is across the hall from our bedroom and when I'm sitting in bed I can look right in there and see the crib... it's such an amazing feeling to have that all together! We're going to paint within the next couple of months and probably get some bedding soon too. I just love nesting for the baby.

Here's the new crib:

And the new change table:

And the dresser:

Amazing - 3rd Baby Ultrasound

Today was our third baby ultrasound. It was amazing. The baby looked even more like a real baby than it did last week, and having an abdominal ultrasound really made the picture better (I would've thought the opposite). You could see everything so much more clearly.

The baby was SO hyper! It was bouncing off all the walls, pushing back when the tech would push down, flipping around, changing positions... everytime the tech would take a still picture in order to measure something, when she came back to the live picture the baby was in a completely different spot in my uterus. Baby was waving his/her arms and legs like crazy. At one point while we had a front view, the baby pumped all of its arms and legs up and down over and over again, like a 4 month old does when it's laughing. It was so adorable.

Another time the tech had a top view of the head looking at the brain, and as soon as she got the view the baby started shaking its head back and forth over and over, as if s/he was like "No way! You're not getting a picture of that! Get outta here!"

She measured the heartbeat at 168 bpm... obviously higher than before because the baby was dancing around. We heard a little bit of the heartbeat, but the baby kept jumping away from the wand when she was trying to play the heartbeat. It was okay though, because we've heard the heartbeat twice before.

Unfortunately, even though she got like 30 awesome shots, I only ended up with one kind of lame picture. The pictures always seem lame after you watch the ultrasound. I also found out that they don't do the CD of pictures or record the ultrasound. That makes me so sad!

By the way, my baby's head is not really shaped like it is in this picture. S/he has a normally shaped head. The back of it just got cut off somehow. This is why I don't like ultrasound pictures!! :)

Secret Revealed

I finally told my principal that I'm pregnant. There was no "good" way to do it, so while I was talking to him I just said "Aaannd one more thing. I'm pregnant."

He thought he already knew I was pregnant back in June. I told him no, I wasn't. Not technically, anyway. Theoretically I got pregnant on the 22nd, because that was the first day of my cycle. But he was thinking I was pregnant before that.

I couldn't quite understand what he was saying but he totally had the situation confused. Anyway, he knows now. And we have our school community BBQ tonight (which I completely forgot about), so perhaps other people will start finding out. Who knows. I'm wearing a really baggy shirt that's the type of material that doesn't hang down, it poofs out from my boobs. So my baby belly, which sticks out further than my boobs, is more successfully hidden than usual.

Now that my principal knows I'd rather go back to wearing the fitted shirts I wear when I'm around people who know I'm pregnant. But I live 25 minutes from my school, so going home and back before the BBQ is a bit ridiculous.

On another note, Purolator tried to deliver my maternity dress pants yesterday, but I wasn't home to get them. So I'm going to pick them up after work today, while I'm in town. Fingers crossed that they fit properly because if they don't and I return them, I'm out the shipping costs. Which sucks.

Back to Work and a Belly Picture

11 weeks

I start work again tomorrow... blech. I'm really going to miss summer vacation. I can't wait for the next 6 months to fly by so I can be on maternity leave for a year with our little baby.

I think I'm just wary of the new teaching situation I'm going to be in this year. It's making going back just a little bit harder than it normally is. At least I only have to teach in the classroom for 2 hours tomorrow, and the rest of the time I'm doing resource stuff, like writing IEPs and figuring out a schedule.

Somehow this week I'm going to have to let the rest of my staff know that I'm pregnant. I'm not really sure how to do it, since I'll probably just have to blurt it out out of nowhere. It's my principal that I'm nervous to tell. I feel like it's weird to tell my boss that I'm pregnant. I'm also a bit nervous to tell his wife, who had a miscarriage in June. We spent a lot of time together last week since we're sharing the 5/6 classroom, and I never told her then, so I feel like it's awkward to tell her now.

Is it terrible if I just tell the other teachers that I've told that it's okay to start spreading the word? Is it bad if the rest of them hear it through the grapevine? The VP, who knows, said to me "You may want to tell the principal before he hears it through the grapevine." I replied that I was kind of thinking that I'd rather he heard it through the grapevine, and she was like "Oh, well, that's up to you!" I'm not sure if she was meaning that he would be mad to find out from someone else. But I don't know how to tell him. Email? Write a message on our chalkboard in the staff room?

So awkward.

Last night Justin took another belly picture of me. It's been a few weeks since we've done one. This is my 11 week picture:

Kind of hard to hide, eh?

The Monster is Back

Apparently I spoke too soon about the nausea being way better. Saturday morning I was feeling pretty good, and then just before Justin was finished making breakfast my throat started to spasm and I almost threw up. I just sat really still like I always do and it went away.

Then I was eating eggs and toast, and I was feeling sick, but I often do when I’m eating. ¾ of the way through I really felt like I was going to throw up, which, again, is normal for me. Justin told me to go to the bathroom, but I didn’t because usually if I’m really still I can make it go away. Luckily he got up and got a garbage can for me because within 10 seconds I was puking up my entire breakfast. It was awful. It was sooo much food.

Then all day yesterday at the wedding we were at, I felt terrible. Even the loud music was making me more nauseous. There was this Italian guy singing (in Italian) and the speakers were turned up so high it was affecting my equilibrium and making me feel even worse than I already felt. I spent a lot of time outside the reception hall avoiding noises and smells. They pulled seafood out as one of the courses. Come on!

I’m putting my Diclectin doses back to where they were, since obviously I still need it.

Baby Ultrasound #2

I finally drove the hour to the RE on Friday so I could have a random reassurance ultrasound and everything was perfect. Our little baby looked like a real little baby! It was so neat to see. S/he was so adorable and measured perfectly and still had a heartbeat of 146bpm (which is strange, since it was 146 bpm on August 11).

The ultrasound pictures didn't turn out as clear as the actual ultrasound. The baby is straight up and down, head on top:

In this picture, the body isn't as clear but you can see a little arm fisted in front of his/her face:

I think I'm comfortable telling "the world" now, since I've read in a few places that once you hit 10 weeks if you have a normal ultrasound with a heartbeat, the chance of miscarriage goes down to 1%. Apparently 10 weeks is the big milestone, not 12 weeks/3 months. And I'm 11 weeks, so I'm golden.

I bought a pair of maternity jeans on my way home. Unfortunately, Motherhood Maternity only had 2 types of maternity pants in long (I'm tall, and the normal pants were like floods on me), and only the jeans were in my size. So I still don't have maternity pants I can wear to work. I only have the tummy sleeve, which is really starting to drive me up the wall. It's fine when you're staying sitting or staying standing, but when you're sitting down and standing up repeatedly, you have to adjust your pants under the sleeve and then the sleeve over your pants, and then the camisole I wear on top of the sleeve - it's so much work! Now I know what size I am at that store though, so I'm going to try and order a pair of pants online.

First Day Back

10 weeks 1 day

I had my first day back at work today, but without students. We had our big staff meeting and right up until it was my turn to "share," I didn't know what I was going to do. Tell, or not tell?

I did not tell them that I'm pregnant. I have a couple of reasons for this.

1. I really want to have another ultrasound and know there's a heartbeat before I announce it to the entire world. Sure, a pile of people already know, but if I announce it at school, automatically hundreds more people will know.

2. I was afraid that if I said I was pregnant, my principal would assign me all the extracurricular activities at the beginning of the year, so I'd be insanely busy while I'm exhausted and not feeling well, and then whoever takes my maternity leave from March onward would have nothing to do. So instead, I got assigned extracurriculars in a fair way that are spread out throughout the year, and one of them (track and field) happens completely after I'm on mat leave, so that's good for me. Less extra work.

3. My school owes me $900 for the course I took this summer, and I'm afraid if they find out I'm pregnant, suddenly something will "come up" and they won't pay me for it because I'm leaving in March for at least a year.

4. I still feel bad announcing I'm pregnant when my teaching partner just just a miscarriage in June. At 17 weeks.

Those are my issues. I don't know when I'm going to tell them. I'm only have four shirts that even slightly hide my belly, and even with them on people have probably noticed my round protuberance. Four shirts is enough to get me through the end of the week. Then I start teaching next Tuesday and maybe I'll wear all those shirts again. for that 4 day week.

My next ultrasound is next Friday. It's not that far away, but I really want to go to the R.E. for a impromptu ultrasound just to make sure there's a heartbeat. But it's an hour drive away, and I'd have to go alone because DH is already teaching. I really want to go (and I know you all day I should go, and I would give you the same advice), but I keep telling myself it's ridiculous.

I don't know what to do.