Well, That Was Awkward

I was talking to my Mom on the phone briefly tonight to plan something for tomorrow.  She was telling me how she and my Dad had a nice time yesterday while babysitting my three nephews.  Then she told me how she spanked Josiah.

Awkward silence.

I am the first to admit that Josiah can be a serious pain in the ass.  He screams and cries constantly.  I would go crazy if he was my child.  Then again, I honestly think that if he was my child he might not be so freaking annoying.  I haven't really agreed with the way my brother and sister-in-law have dealt with him from the time he was a newborn, and I think their "methods" may have made things a lot worse.  I'm not going to get into all that, though.

Apparently Josiah is obsessed with farm machinery, and kept running after the riding lawn mower and plow while my Dad and brother were using them.  He wouldn't listen to my mom when she kept getting him and telling him not to.  He's not quite 20 months old, and I'm sure many parents who have had a 20 month old know exactly what that stage is like... they don't necessarily understand that they have to obey.  Noah went through that stage for a few months, and it was infuriating.  However, it pretty much ended when we started time outs at 16 months.

Obviously this is not safe.  I get that.

My Mom said how she "had" to spank him, how she tried everything else first.

I had to call bullshit.  I said there were plenty of other things she could have done, but that she didn't utilize those things because that's how she parents.

As kids, we got spanked.  Not a lot, not all the time, but we did.  And when I think back to each and every time I got spanked or saw my siblings getting spanked, I can name several things my parents could have done to handle that situation without hitting their children.  And those things would have been just as, or almost as, effective.  The spanking always happened because they were pissed.

I told her she should have taken him inside.  She said she was taking him inside, and he was screaming and kicking and she wasn't going to put up with that, so she spanked him.

I can understand being so angry and frustrated in a situation that you want to lash out.  However, that doesn't mean you should.  I have experienced times that I've been so mad at a fellow adult that I literally wanted to hit them, but I never would.  It's called self-control.

I am not saying I'm a perfect parent.  I certainly am not.  I am ashamed to admit that there have been a couple of times in Noah's life that I've been angry, frustrated, frazzled, and at the end of my rope and haven't known what to do and I've swatted him.  These occurrences have always been when I am also stressed and angry about something else, and when my husband has been gone too much and I haven't had enough support.

And each time I have felt absolutely terrible.  It keeps me up at night feeling sick to my stomach.  It makes me feel like an absolutely horrible parent, and I immediately knew that there was no reason I had to do what I did, and there would have been much better options for handling the situation.  Even thinking/writing about it now makes me feel ill.

I was never that anti-spanking before I had my own child.  I didn't think it was a good thing, and I thought it should be a last resort, but I didn't have really strong feelings about it.  However, after having my own child, I really can't agree with it.  In pretty much any situation.

And see, the thing is that my mom was not at all apologetic.  She was defensive, but not in an insecure way.  She said she would do it again in a heartbeat.

Uhh, yeah, more awkward silence.

I really didn't know what to say.  I did say, "You realize you are absolutely not allowed to spank my child, right?"  But beyond that, it was just awkward silence.

And now I feel like I've lost some confidence in her.  I never thought she would spank my kid(s), and she said she wouldn't, but the fact that she spanked another one of her grandchildren and was completely unapologetic about it?  It makes me less comfortable leaving my kids with her.  Especially at this young age where Noah probably wouldn't report back to me what happened to him.

Noah is really well behaved.  At this stage in his life he almost never behaves in a way that someone would think he'd need a spanking.  But, he's two.  Two year olds can be kind of unpredictable, and you never know if they're going to have a meltdown over something.  Noah's meltdowns are few and far between.  I can't even remember the last time he had one.  But obviously it's not out of the question - he's a toddler.

And now I'm reminded of just exactly why I don't like leaving him with people.  Other people are not you.  Other people deal with your children differently than you do.  If you aren't there, you literally have no control over what they're doing.  And honestly, you never really know what's happening.

I have never left Noah with anyone but my parents.  I felt like this was the best, safest option.  But I wasn't even comfortable with the idea of one of Noah's grandparents speaking too harshly toward him while they're babysitting him.  I have actually corrected my mother in law for being unnecessarily stern and scaring Noah.  Now I have to worry that one of them might spank him if he happens to have a random toddler meltdown moment?  I don't think a non-family-member would ever do that, but now that I think about it, maybe a grandparent might feel a bit too much like a "parent", since it's their child's child they're dealing with.  And therefore, they might feel like they can discipline however they see fit.

Seriously, if one of our parents ever spanked one of my kids, they would never ever babysit again.

I feel so unsettled.

In Which Noah Apologizes

I know this is my third post in less than 24 hours, but I had to record this for my memories...

~~~

Noah loves to flip around and do somersaults (he actually does a perfect somersault, which is kind of impressive) whenever he's on a soft surface.  We have established that he is NOT allowed to flip on the same couch or bed that I'm on, but occasionally he just gets so exuberant that he can't help himself.

Just now we were sitting on my bed after he got up from his nap (he woke up in a really good mood).  He started to flip around, and ended up doing a somersault where he landed right on my bedside table, smashing into my lamp and knocking over a cup of water.  Thankfully it was a huge cup with very little water in it, otherwise it would have been a disaster.

I really do my best not to overreact and get really angry and yell, because it's rarely ever necessary, and Noah is fairly sensitive to anyone acting upset at him.  So I'm exclaiming (not yelling), "NO!!!  Oh NO Noah!!  This is why you aren't supposed to flip!  This is very bad!!"  while trying to stop the water from spilling all over everything else on the table.  Meanwhile he is scrambling his hardest to get off the bedside table.  Once he gets back on the bed I'm trying to right everything on the table and I'm still saying things like "This is not good, Noah!  This is why Mommy tells you not to flip!  This isn't safe!  You could break things!"  He looks freaked out and while I'm talking he keeps saying, "Hi!  Hi Mommy!  Hi!"  in a little shaky voice (which immediately makes me glad I wasn't actually shouting and getting mad at him).  I think he was trying to distract me.

Once I said, "Hi, Noah" (while trying my hardest not to laugh), he said, "Are you happy??" in his shaky voice.  Because he always wants to make me happy.  I said "No, Noah, I am not happy.  I don't like it when you flip around me, and you could have broken things on the table."  So he said "Hi, Mommy" again, while touching my arm.  I said, "It makes me upset when you flip when you're around Mommy."  He exclaimed "Don't be upset!!"  I'm still trying not to laugh, and he still seems kind of shaky from the whole incident, so I give him a hug, partially so I can hide my smile.

While I'm hugging him, he says emphatically, "I'm sorry!!"  I said, "Thank you Noah, I'm glad you're sorry."  After our hug was over, he tilted his head, smiled at me, and asked, "Are you happy, now???"

I told him that yes, I was happy now.

He just melts me with his sweet little heart.  I don't know what I'd do without him.

Another One of Those Days

I feel like I have been having a lot of "those" days lately.

Maybe it's because I am so pregnant and uncomfortable.

Maybe it's because I can't get a decent amount of sleep anymore.

Or maybe it has nothing to do with that and has everything to do with Noah suddenly deciding that he is, in fact, 2 years old.

He is usually really, really well behaved.  So maybe I'm not used to a two year old who actually acts like a two year old.  Up until about a week ago he would never tell us "No."  He was always very agreeable.  People would actually always remark on how agreeable he was, how all they ever heard was "Yes!"  And they'd ask us if he ever said "No."  Well, now we hear "No!" and "Don't!" and way too much "I DO IT!!!" in a not very nice voice.

This afternoon/evening has completely worn me down.  I took him on a huge grocery shopping trip.  This was my first mistake - I shouldn't have gone on a huge grocery shopping trip.  By the time I was loading the groceries into the van I felt like I'd been hit by a truck.

When we got home, suddenly it was meltdown city.  I still have no idea why.  He was crying as soon as we walked in the door, and it just continued from there.  It took me at least 25 minutes just to calm him down so that I could start putting groceries away, and I don't even know what I was calming him down FROM.

Then it took me an entire hour to clean out my fridge (because there wasn't enough room), throw away expired leftovers, put away all the groceries, unload the dishwasher, and wash the containers that had been holding the expired leftovers.  I wish I could say that in that time I also tidied up the main living area, because there were at least 347 toys and books strewn all over the floor and every time I looked down I wanted to cry.  But I didn't.  Because it is way too painful for me to bend over to pick crap up off the floor.

However, Noah continued to act like a tornado.  Every time I had him clean something up (which obviously takes 20 times longer than it would take an adult to do the same task), he would turn around and make a new enormous mess.

The nice dinner I'd been planning to cook got postponed to some other day, because if I felt like I'd been hit by a truck by the end of the grocery trip, by the end of putting everything away and dealing with the kitchen I felt like I'd been hit by a truck and had my feet beaten with sledgehammers.

By this time it was 6:30pm and my husband was finally back inside from training clients all day.  I sat down to massage my own aching feet while my dear husband made sausages and french fries for dinner.  And Noah continued to act like a 2 year old.  Climbing all over me despite my repeated commands to STOP BECAUSE THAT'S HURTING ME, making messes on purpose, upending his potty, throwing a wooden magnetic alphabet puzzle book so that all 52 pieces went flying around the room, telling us "No" whenever we asked him to do something simple (like "Bring me your shorts so I can put them back on you")... I was losing it.  All I could do was laugh, because otherwise I was going to put my fist through a wall.

He was acting like I'd made him stay inside all day.  I hadn't.  He spent the morning going on a tricycle ride, then running through the sprinkler with our 4 year old neighbours in their backyard, and playing in their kiddie pool.  Then after his nap I took him grocery shopping, which is always a fun excursion in his eyes.  He had plenty to keep him entertained today.  So whyyyy??

I really and truly can't tell if I'm just an impatient person (because seriously I can't stand it when he acts like a brat), or if it's because I'm pregnant and sleep deprived.

Thankfully it's almost Noah's bedtime, and my wonderful husband is dealing with him.  He also cleaned up the disaster that was my living room.  I don't know how single moms do it.  I couldn't.

My unborn child better let me get some better sleep tonight.  I truly wish I could take him out of my stomach, wrap him in an incredibly tight swaddle, and then stick him back in.

~~~~~

As a funny addition to this post, Noah just ran into his room laughing his head off while Justin followed him.  Noah said "No!" to Justin, and I, sitting on my bed across the hall typing this, said sternly "DON'T SAY THAT!"  So Noah shouted "YES!"

Hahaha.

19 Months Old

It has been extremely difficult getting around to writing Noah's 19 month stats.  I just sent him off with Daddy for an hour, so instead of taking some time to relax or make dinner, I'm doing this. 

At 19 months, here is where Noah is at:

-I haven't weighed or measured Noah this month, but I assume he is just slightly heavier and taller than last month, when he was 27lbs and 35 inches.

-He is in size 4 diapers during the day and night.

-He wears size 2T and 3T clothing.  Most 2T clothing is too short, though.

-He wears size 6 shoes.

-He nurses on demand, 4-6 times a day.

-He exclusively feeds himself his solids, either with his hands or with a spoon and fork. If he is given a utensil, he will always use it.  He also drinks out of a regular cup quite well, although we try to use a sippy cup as often as he will let us since we run less risk of him purposefully pouring out his water.

-He has 16 full teeth. The only ones left are his 2 year molars.

-He broke his leg on Saturday, September 24, 2011.  The diagnosis wasn't confirmed until the following Thursday.  He is doing a lot better now, but he is still limping.

-As of his 19 month birthday, he had been on a nap strike for 15 days, where he absolutely refused to nap unless he was actively nursing or in the car.  I think we might have beaten that now, though.  Update on that separately.  Soon, hopefully.

-Half of this month he was been sleeping 11 to 11.5 hours at night, getting up to nurse twice.  I went along with this because it started happening right after he broke his leg.  But when naps went to crap and Noah woke up wanting to nurse already at 11:30pm, I buckled down.  Since then he has been sleeping straight through the night 2/3 of the time and getting up to nurse sometime after 5am 1/3 of the time (one nurse a night is normal for him and I don't mind it).

-Bedtime is after 8:30pm most nights, and we've been sleeping in until about 8am or later every morning.

-He no longer signs to nurse, eat, or for water.  He's strictly verbal.

-At 15 months Noah was saying 18 words. At 16 months he was saying 42 words. At 17 months he was saying 79 words. At 18 months he was saying 137 words.  

-At 19 months Noah is saying way over 300 words.  However, I am not very good at writing them all down, and I need to find a way to automatically alphabetize them on the computer because it's really hard to go through the list to see if a new word is really a new word or not.  As a result, I have only recorded 281 words.

His old words that he's still saying are: Mama, Dada, uh oh, more, this, that, cat, night night, hot, up, yes, woof woof ("what does a dog say?"), baa ("what does a sheep/goat say?"), moo ("what does a cow say?"), car, ball, shoes, cracker, Noah, water, orange, clock, blech, hi, done, dirt, Bert, puff, swish, fluff, book, buzz, Papa, Nana, boo, fish, phone, again, home, sunglasses, Gramper, sit, stretch, glasses, food, laptop, love, hair, quack, bye, tshirt, shirt, aunt, poop, slide, cheese, Colton, danger, banana, feet, please, clock, cold, toes, ooo-ooo-ahh-ahh (monkey sound), bad, burger, boo-boo (as in, an owie), nurse, block, fly, stuck, chalk, out, fit, hat, bye-bye, and shit (yeah, I'm not proud of that), pool, eyes, nose, rice, pour, no, apple, bath, heck, help, eat, T.V., pup, corn, cook, moon, sun, on, off, mouse, brush, ice, neigh, push, yay, peach, buddy, you, hi, mess, flip, hose, toast, home, see you, pieces, pear, foot, me, tape, open, meat, ok, out, street, outside, keys, bits, pee, flies, away, whoa, cheerios, cut, gas, wet, hey, bless.

-Some of his new words are: plate, baby, kick, acorn, grass, light, dark, medicine, horse, cake, after, bar, house, two, three, go, doctor, windy, lid, hide, Elmo, get, it, fix, button, thank, beep, one, cookie, high, chair, highchair, whack, walk, tower, cute, breakfast, bawk (chicken), back, moose, lion, tiger, dinner, pocket, Ernie, draw, wall, welcome, Granny, Matt, Lynsey, aunt, Giliane, Nick, Hilary, cuddle, boat, pen, puck, ready, picture, coming, dude, cool, clothes, soother, green, purple, blue, both, you, I, love, fries, toys, red, playdoh, stick, hockey, hit, ribbit, frog (which comes out as f#ck), colour, found, plug, pizza, coffee, cricket, broke, ring, hug, rice, watch, arm, leg, ear, closet, open, dukie (dutch slang for washcloth), chicken, Abby, sweep, music, Emmie, Lexie, other, room, welcome, rain, clap, table, yellow, crayon, crib, music, lotion, cube, self, ice cube, new, giraffe, bite, blanky, dance, meow, cow, dog, rabbit, tomato, tree, bathroom, cup, window, honk, pretty, grape, fork, spoon, knife, goose, bang, Scout, peek-a-boo.

-In case you didn't read through that long list (I don't blame you), Noah says frog, but it comes out as "f#ck." Quite perfectly pronounced, too.  It has embarrassed me several times.

-He is putting many two word phrases together.  For example: thank you, bless you, get it, get you, got you, hang on, etc.

-He knows that poop and pee go in the toilet, and he shows interest when we go to the bathroom, but I haven't gotten him a potty or even started to bother training him.  I am in no hurry.

-His verbal comprehension continues to be amazing. He understands everything we say to him. We can even reason with him.

-He still wants gets into everything, but he is continuing to obey the word "no" more consistently.

-Currently, his favourite "toys" are our Dyson vacuum cleaner, my hair dryer, any cleaning implement, or anything electronic that isn't meant to be played with.

-He just jumped for the first time, actually getting air.  We weren't trying to teach him, he just suddenly decided to stand there on two feet and figure out how to jump up and land again.  And he did it.

-He loves to colour with us.  We colour with paper and crayons, or on his big AquaDoodle mat.  I love AquaDoodle.

-He knows most of the main colours: green, orange, blue, red, yellow, purple, and black.  He spends most of his time concentrating on green and orange, though.  Especially orange.

-He'll count "one, two, three..." but most of the time when he's counting he says "Two, two, two, two..." as he points to different objects.  This slays me.  It's hilarious.

-He loves to play with playdoh.  I bought it when he broke his leg and wasn't supposed to walk.  I bought a Sesame Street set of shapes and cutters and things, so when he wants to play with playdoh he'll usually say "Elmo!  Cut!"  

-He L.O.V.E.S. Sesame Street.  He either asks to watch "Street" or "Elmo".  He absolutely adores Elmo, and his second favourite character would probably be Abby Cadabby.  He even knows that if I spell "E-L-M-O" that spells Elmo.  I tried spelling it so he wouldn't hear the word, but he figured it out pretty quickly.

-This is the very first month he has shown an interest in loving stuffed animals.  Before now he was only attached to "Pup," his lovey.  And that was only after having him in his crib for months and months.  This month he fell in love with a puppy at Build-A-Bear, so we made one for him.  He adores that puppy.  He hugs him and kisses him and cuddles with him.  We call him "Scout," which Noah pronounces something like "Suck."

-Time outs are still extremely successful around here. They've been so successful, we don't need to use them that often anymore.

-No illnesses for Noah this month. The count is at 13.

-He is getting much less shy, but he still has separation anxiety from me.

-He is such a smart, sweet, gentle little boy who just loves other kids and babies.  He shares, he's nice, he's empathetic... I'm so proud of him!

18 Months Old

At 18 months, here is where Noah is at:

-He is about 27lbs.  This shocked me this month.

-He is about 35 inches tall.

-He is in size 4 diapers during the day and night.

-He wears size 2T and 3T clothing.

-He wears size 6 shoes.

-He nurses on demand, 5-7 times a day.  When he nurses he is constantly playing with my face and ears, especially when he's nursing to sleep.  He will be sleeping, but he is reaching up with an open palm that just gently strokes my ear and earring, over and over.

-He exclusively feeds himself, either with his hands or with a spoon and fork. If he is given a utensil, he will always use it.

-He's cooperative about drinking from a sippy cup early in the day, but once the afternoon and evening hits he wants to drink from a regular CUP, darnit, just like Mama.

-He has 16 full teeth. The only ones left are his 2 year molars, which I think he is actually already starting to work on (although I am mostly in denial about this).

-He has one nap a day, usually about an hour long.

-This month he's been sleeping 11 to 11.5 hours at night, getting up to nurse once, sometime after 5am. Bedtime is after 8:30pm most nights, and we've been sleeping in until about 8am or later every morning.

-He still signs for water and to eat, even though he says the words just as easily.  He almost never signs to nurse anymore.  He said asks "Nurse?"

-At 15 months Noah was saying 18 words. At 16 months he was saying 42 words. At 17 months he was saying 79 words.  At 18 months he is saying 137 words.

His old words that he's still saying are: Mama, Dada, uh oh, more, this, that, cat, night night, hot, up, yes, woof woof ("what does a dog say?"), baa ("what does a sheep/goat say?"), moo ("what does a cow say?"), car, ball, shoes, cracker, Noah, water, orange, clock, blech, hi, done, dirt, Bert, puff, swish, fluff, book, buzz, Papa, Nana, boo, fish, phone, again, home, sunglasses, Gramper, sit, stretch, glasses, food, laptop, love, hair, quack, bye, tshirt, shirt, aunt, poop, slide, cheese, Colton, danger, banana, feet, please, clock, cold, toes, ooo-ooo-ahh-ahh (monkey sound), bad, burger, boo-boo (as in, an owie), nurse, block, fly, stuck, chalk, out, fit, hat, bye-bye, and shit (yeah, I'm not proud of that).

His new words are: pool, eyes, nose, rice, pour, no, apple, bath, heck, help, eat, T.V., pup, corn, cook, moon, sun, on, off, mouse, brush, ice, neigh, push, yay, peach, buddy, you, hi, mess, flip, hose, toast, home, see you, pieces, pear, foot, me, tape, open, meat, ok, out, street, outside, keys, bits, pee, flies, away, whoa, cheerios, cut, gas, wet, hey, bless.

-After he poops (and sometimes beforehand) he will inform us by saying "Poop! Poop! Poop!" He still doesn't really care if you change his diaper or not, though. I think he might actually be content with a poopy bum all day long.

-I'm pretty sure he knows exactly what pee is, and he knows it goes in the toilet.  He'll open any bathroom door, point to the toilet, and exclaim "Pee!!!"

-Noah still loves to point out things that are hot. He waves his hands around saying "Hot! Hot!" and then blows air out his mouth like he's trying to cool something down. He really pronounces the "t", and the way he says it is sooo cute. He looks so proud of himself for knowing everything that is hot.

-His verbal comprehension continues to be amazing.  He understands everything we say to him.  We can even reason with him.

-He still wants gets into everything, but he is continuing to obey the word "no" more consistently.

-He hardly ever plays with his toys.  Currently, his favourite "toys" are our Dyson vacuum cleaner, anything electronic that isn't meant to be played with, any cleaning implement (like Swiffers), or kitchen/bathroom gadgets.

-He loves to run, climb, swim... anything active.

-Time outs are still wildly successful around here.  They've been so successful, we don't need to use them that often anymore.

-One mild illness for Noah this month.  The count is at 13.

-He still has a thing for pretty blonde women:)

-He is such a cuddly, affectionate little monkey. He loves to hug and be hugged, loves to get and give kisses, loves to sit in our laps. He such a sweet little boy.

18 months old!  I just can't believe my little guy is a year and a half!  I still think of him as my baby, even though he is such a toddler.  The nursing, cuddling, and snuggling him as he falls asleep in my arms really helps us both ease this transition.  Everyday he does something that just makes my mouth hang open, because, "Oh my gosh, he is a little boy now!"

I think this might be my favourite age so far, at least since he has become a toddler.  He is so incredibly entertaining.  I love watching him do such grown up things.  I love listening to him talk and learn new words.  I love his long gibberish sentences.  I love observing him as he assimilates new information into his existing knowledge base so quickly and easily.  I love how he is just so darned silly.

I am not going nearly as crazy as I was a few months ago.  Noah is much more obedient now.  He still does things I don't want him to do, of course.  But it's no longer only going from one restricted activity to another restricted activity.  There are a lot of things he will stay away from now.  And when he's not listening, times outs really work for both him and me.  I rarely end up at the point where I want to bang my head against the wall, because a quick time out stops me from having to stop him from doing the same thing 200 times in a row.

Everybody is telling me I should be buying Noah a potty.  He is showing so much interest in poop, pee, the toilet, and seems to be grasping the whole concept.  He definitely grasps that we use the toilet for poop and pee, anyway.  And he'll wipe his diapered crotch with toilet paper.  This made me laugh so hard.  I am in no rush for this.  Potty training was something I wasn't even thinking about until sometime after he turns 2.  Next summer seemed like a good time to try, because he could run around outside all day with no clothes on.  Maybe if a good potty goes on sale I will pick one up and see what happens.  I'm not convinced, even though all his aunts, uncles, and grandparents seem to be.

I'm looking forward to what this next month will bring.  I am constantly reminded that my Mom and sister in law both had their second babies when their first was 19 months old (my mom actually did that 4 times in a row).  I just can't even imagine having a newborn in a month.  I'm happy to be able to concentrate on Noah for awhile longer.

Backyard, Pool, Sickness, and a Funny Kid

-It's my 11th day of being sick today.  I still feel terrible.  I don't think I've ever been this sick this long.  I've been sicker than this, for sure, but I've been fairly sick with no letting up for 11 days now.  It's really getting on my nerves.  And it's keeping me from getting a decent night's sleep, which in turn makes my nerves easier to get on in the first place.

-My backyard is a disaster.  The guys are off for the next three days because of the long weekend.  In the meantime, my backyard looks like this:

They're killing the grass we have left, which was previously quite nice.  And there is no usable space for Noah to play in.  Meanwhile, it is freaking 110 degrees outside (literally), and my pool, which would be so wonderful right now, looks like this:

Not exactly swimmable.

Everything looks so small in those pictures.  Granted, the pool isn't enormous.  It's only as big as the town's bylaws will allow because of how far it has to be from the fence on all sides (and we are putting a fence down the middle of the yard).  But the pool seems much larger in person.

It's hard to believe it will be up and running in a week.  And after watching them work for the past 5 days, Justin and I are actually shocked at how little we are paying.  It's shocking to see everything that is involved in installing an inground pool. 

-The swimming pool fencing bylaws in my town are very strict.  You can see in the one picture that my deck is 6-7 feet above grade  It then has a 42 inch railing.  We were going to put a 5 foot fence all the way across the middle of the yard.  Apparently this is not good enough.  Apparently the deck has to have a 5 foot railing. Personally, I think this is ridiculous.  If someone can manage to scale the railing as it is, they will plunge to their death by falling 10 feet onto concrete.  They will definitely not be drowning in the swimming pool.  

My contractor was trying to find some way around this new section of the bylaw, like having an alarm installed on the sliding door.  Apparently that was rejected by the inspector.  So their new plan is to create a new 5 foot railing to go along the one side, only bring the fence up to the bottom of the stairs, and then skirt the one side of the deck that faces the pool, using fence boards.  I am crossing my fingers that this doesn't cost me extra money.

-We also have to install child safety locks on the four windows that face the pool.  Apparently it doesn't matter if they're second story, main floor, or basement.  I find this annoying, and I will not be keeping them on once the pool is finished and the inspector has come and gone.  They're supposed to prevent the windows from opening greater than 10cm (about 3.5 inches).  That is ridiculous.

I just want this to be done with.  This has been a long week and this coming week feels like it's going to feel like a month instead of 7 days.  Blaaaah.

-This post is most definitely coloured by the persistant throbbing in my head, which, as I mentioned, has been going on for 11 days.  I've taken 1000mg of tylenol four times today, and have not been able to get rid of it.  And I'm pretty sure I have PMS, as I'm expecting my period in 3 or 4 days.  Which also sucks.

-The good thing is always this:

His new thing is standing still for pictures (but not necessarily smiling) if I tell him he can see them afterward.  This facial expression cracks me up:

"Ok, I'll stand still, but I don't like it.  And I really want to see the picture right now."

He makes me laugh every day.  And he is starting to obey much more, which makes it much more tolerable when he doesn't obey, since that's no longer the 'rule'.  Time outs really have worked wonders in this house.

-We had a family photoshoot done on Wednesday.  We've never had out pictures done professionally before, and our photographer does amazing work.  I am very excited to see the pictures!  

Alright, I'm out of here.

17 Months Old

At 17 months, here is where Noah is at:

-He is probably about 24lbs.

-He is about 34.5 inches tall.

-He is in size 4 diapers during the day and night.

-He wears 24 month clothing, for the most part.  He still fits into 9 month shorts, but they have gotten pretty snug.  I'm trying to get through the rest of the summer with what I have, though.

-He nurses on demand, 7-8 times a day.

-He pretty much exclusively feeds himself.  Using a spoon and fork has become less messy this month, and he really enjoys it.  I can get him to eat pretty much any vegetable if I give him a spoon or fork to eat it with.

-He has 16 full teeth.  The only ones left are his 2 year molars.

-He has one nap a day, usually about an hour long.
-This month he's been sleeping 11.5-12 hours at night, getting up to nurse once. Bedtime is after 8:30pm most nights, and we've been sleeping in until at least 8:15am every morning.


-He still gets up to nurse once a night, but he seems to be consistently pushing this later for the past week and a half.  Almost every night he has slept 10 hours straight before getting up, sometimes sleeping until 7:30 (and then going back to sleep until 9:30!).  I'd like to think he is maybe night-weaning himself, but I know better than to think this will last.  Over a year ago he was consistently sleeping 10 hours straight before nursing, and that didn't last!

-He still does just three signs: nurse (the sign for milk), water (waves his hand up and down), and eat (sticks his finger in his mouth).  I don't do any other signs, because he picks up language easy enough.

-At 15 months Noah was saying 18 words. At 16 months he was saying 42 words.  At 17 months he is saying 79 words.

His old words that he's still saying are: Mama, Dada, uh oh, more, this, that, cat, night night, hot, up, yes, woof woof ("what does a dog say?"), baa ("what does a sheep/goat say?"), moo ("what does a cow say?"), car, ball, shoes, cracker, Noah, water, orange, clock, blech, hi, done, dirt, Bert, puff, swish, fluff, book, buzz, Papa, Nana, boo, fish, phone, again, home, sunglasses, Gramper, sit.

His new words are: stretch, glasses, food, laptop, love, hair, quack, bye, tshirt, shirt, aunt, poop, slide, cheese, Colton, danger, banana, feet, please, clock, cold, toes, ooo-ooo-ahh-ahh (monkey sound), bad, burger, boo-boo (as in, an owie), nurse,  block, fly, stuck, chalk, out, fit, hat, bye-bye, and shit (yeah, I'm not proud of that).

-After he poops (and sometimes beforehand) he will inform us by saying "Poop!  Poop!  Poop!"  He still doesn't really care if you change his diaper or not, though.  I think he might actually be content with a poopy bum all day long.

-Noah still loves to point out things that are hot.  He waves his hands around saying "Hot!  Hot!" and then blows air out his mouth like he's trying to cool something down.  He really pronounces the "t", and the way he says it is sooo cute.  He looks so proud of himself for knowing everything that is hot.

-His verbal comprehension continues to be above average.

-He still gets into everything and anything, but he is starting to obey the word "no" more often (up until the past few days, he seemed to think it was optional).


-He is a super-climber.  He wishes our entire house was his jungle gym.

-He loves pools!  He loves to swim.

-We started doing time outs this month.  Just 1 minute in his crib when he's been disobedient.  I resisted this for awhile because I didn't want him to have bad associations with his crib.  But then I figured it was much better for both of us if I did it anyway, rather than letting my frustration turn to anger and build to a boiling point.  The time outs are working, and I stay very calm.  I've felt much more 'in control' for the past month than I did before.

-Every month Noah gets better with strangers and with separation from Mommy.  He's much better when it's on his own terms, though.  He's still not okay with being left in the church nursery, but we're working on it.  For now, I'm spending most of the church service in there with him.  I'm not going to force it and make him scream for an hour and a half.  It will come.

-No more illnesses this month!  The count is still at 12.

-He has a thing for pretty blonde women.  I'm sure it's because I am blonde.  It's really funny though, how he'll warm up to a blonde who is about my age in about 30 seconds, and want to sit with them and cuddle with them.  Actually, come to think of it, we have a gorgeous model friend who is a brunette, and he has a thing for her, too.  What can I say, my boy has discerning taste;)

-He is such a cuddly, affectionate little monkey.  He loves to hug and be hugged, loves to get and give kisses, loves to sit in our laps.  He such a sweet little boy.

My Little Mischief Maker

This month Noah has been especially mischievous.  He's always been a boundary pusher, and I've posted somewhat recently about his penchant for doing everything I don't want him to do.  This picture somewhat represents what Noah might like to do at any given moment:

I'll break it down for you.  He is holding a large, sharp fork, which he snagged from a kitchen drawer.  He has taken our bathroom garbage can, emptied it, and although you can't see it in this picture, it now contains my alarm clock.  He had put said garbage can and alarm clock into his car, and is attempting to join them, while holding the large, sharp fork.

This is very tame.  It is just the only picture I have of him engaging in activities with things I'd rather he didn't play with.

Moving along. 

Lately Noah has continued to push boundaries like crazy, both in 'secret' (when he thinks we're not watching) and for attention.  There have been a few particular instances lately that were hilariously funny after the fact, and I don't want to forget them. 

The following events are in chronological order.  They happened over the span of about a week and a half.  And they get better as they go along.


Number 1:

I was sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch and reading.  Noah had been playing with his toys independently (hooray!  a rare occasion), and all was very quiet.  After a few minutes I realized I'd been hearing a swishing noise for quite awhile, and it occured to me that I had no idea what he might be swishing around.  I figured he had reached up onto the bar-height dining room table and taken down a sheet or two of paper, and was playing with them on the hardwood floors.

Um, no.  I went into the dining room, where I saw Noah sitting in the middle of this:

That would be a wallet with approximately $3500 in cash spilling all over the floor.  Noah had climbed up onto the bar-height chairs, gotten the wallet from the middle of the table, and taken most of it out.  He apparently wanted to know what it felt like to be 'rollin in the dough.'



Number 2:

Noah went into my closet, opened the zipper of my purse, and got my deoderant out.  I told him to bring it to Mommy, and he started walking away from me.  I then told him very sternly to bring it to Mommy.  Amazingly, he started walking toward me to obey my command.  However, on the way he took the lid off of the deoderant and proceeded to shred it all over my carpet.

The bright side is, now when I turn on my dustbuster, it smells like Cool Breeze.


Number 3:

I stepped out onto the deck, leaving Noah inside, because I needed to start the barbeque.  When I tried to return to the house, I discovered that Noah had locked the patio door.

I'm locked out on the deck.  Noah is in the house.  Alone.  Smiling sneakily at me through the glass.

I did not realize he knew how to lock the door.  I am pretty sure he just realized it himself in that 30 seconds.

I had a small panic attack, until I realized that Justin was training in the garage, and therefore that door would be unlocked.  However, I did manage to get Noah to unlock the door and let me back in. 

I will be hiding a spare key outside my house in the very near future.


Number 4:

This one happened yesterday.  I left my dear angel for about 30 seconds in order to check my email.  I was sitting on my bed.  Suddenly Noah walks into my room and hoists a 2lb leaky bag of raw, bloody ground beef over his head and onto my comforter. 

"Here Mom.  I thought you should start dinner." 

There was a huge puddle of blood in the fridge (where the beef was originally in a bowl), and a trail of beef blood all through the kitchen, down the hallway, and through my bedroom, which is carpeted.  Not to mention the enormous blood stain on my comforter.  My king size comforter which does not fit in my enormous washing machine or dryer.

~~~~~~~

I'm not going to lie, two of these four events made me flip my lid.  They occured after a several hour long spurt of constantly interfering and refereeing his activities, saying no about 2347 times, and giving several time outs.  I wonder if you can guess which two.

He is awfully cute, though.





For Pete's Sake, Kid, PLAY WITH YOUR TOYS!

I've heard there are children who hardly ever do things they aren't supposed to do.

I would like to know what that's like.

Noah is not a "bad boy."  But 97% of the time, all he wants to do are things he knows he's not supposed to do, or things I'd really rather he not do.  Apparently these activities are more interesting than playing with his toys.  Such activities include:

1. Opening cupboards I am unable to lock and pulling stuff out of them.

2. Opening closets and playing with the contents.

3. Opening the dishwasher and playing with knives.  And dirty dishes.

4. Climbing on top of the kitchen table to gain access to what lies in the middle of it.

5. Taking the floor vents out of the floor and putting objects down there.

6. Opening dresser drawers, taking fistfuls of clothes out, and depositing them elsewhere in the house.

7. Opening the wipes warmer and taking the wipes out.

8. Destroying my neat piles of diapers/blankets/laundry/etc.

9. Taking anything off of any raised surface (counter top, dresser top, table, whatever).

10. Unplugging a monitor/fan/lamp/whatever and playing with it.

11. Turning on all the fans in the house.

12. Playing with/chewing on the TV remotes.

13. Playing with the satellite receiver and all of the cords attached to it.

14. Opening the fridge and taking food or condiments out of it.

15. Opening the pantry and taking food/candles/unused toilet brushes out of it.

16. Opening the pantry and playing with the crock pots stored on the floor.

17. Are you getting the picture?

Now, all of these things may not seem like a big deal in and of themselves.  Or you might even read the list and think "Oh, big deal, those things aren't that harmful, except for the playing with knives part."

But if 97% of your child's activities were doing these things, do you think you might end up SCREAMING??  Sometimes Noah will go from restricted activity to restricted activity, staring at us to see what we will do.

He almost NEVER wants to play with his toys.  He seriously ONLY wants to do things he either really shouldn't do, or he knows he's not supposed to do.  And 9 times out of 10, he ignores me when I tell him "No." 

Trust me, this kid's verbal comprehension is fantastic.  He knows exactly what "No" means.  He just choses to ignore it.  He has selective hearing, apparently.

I'm not even going to get into the whole "discipline" thing, because trust me, I have tried everything.  And Harvey Karp might be a genius when it comes to infants, but his Happiest Toddler on the Block book is completely irrelevant when it comes to my toddler.

I have tried baby proofing my house as much as I can, but the only thing left for me to do is to somehow put everything out of Noah's reach, even the things that are behind closed doors.  Because, as I mentioned when Noah was 12 months old, he can open closed doors.  And closet doors.  Unfortunately, I have too much stuff to keep everything on shelves that are at least 5 feet high.  And Noah, being the child that he is, wouldn't be stopped by things being out of his reach.  He would literally drag a kitchen chair over to the closet or cupboard, climb up on it, and then reach the forbidden items.

Besides, I can't keep all of our clothes, food, and other belongs on high shelves.  It's just not practical.  The only things still out are the things that have to be out.

I am tearing out my hair.  Nothing is working.  This morning I finally resorted to doing something I didn't want to do by putting Noah in his crib after he had a string of misbehaviour.  He screamed, and I didn't care.  I didn't want to do that though, because we have had enough of a struggle getting to where we are with his sleep.  I don't want to make him hate his crib because he keeps getting put in it when he misbehaves.

I'm reaching the end of my rope.  Actually, the past couple of days I am at the end of my rope.  I want to scream.  I want to tear out my hair.  I want to bang my head against the wall.

I want to put Noah in a padded room that has NOTHING in it that he can misbehave with.

WHEN WILL IT END?!?!?!

Who IS This Child??

Dear Aliens Who Stole My Child's Personality and Replaced it With That of a Monster,

GIVE ME BACK MY KID!

Sincerely,

Noah's Mom

Winter Blahs

How long until winter is over?  I am sick of having a couple of feet of snow in my yard and -20 temperatures outside.  I want to take Noah to the park!  I want to let him play outside!  I want to push him down the street on his trike instead of pushing him around the living room (man, he loves that thing).  I want to feel like it's no big deal to step foot out of the house.

I'm going a bit nutty these past few days.  There's nothing to DO!  Noah's naptime is right in the middle of everything I could go to: church, Mommy and Me, Baby Drop In.  My parents are on a cruise, and they're my people who I can just call and say "Are you working?  No?  Good.  I'm coming over."  They live 25 minutes away, so it's a bit of a trip, but worth it.  Everybody else I visit with has to be planned in advance.  I have two friends who live around here who I'm comfortable just calling up and getting together with (the price you pay when you go to university out of town and then move back to your hometown: all your best university friends live far away). My one friend across the street is working and busy a lot of the time, for whatever reason.  My other good friend in town (25 minutes away) is very difficult to get together with because our kids on on opposite schedules, her son sleeps a LOT, when he's sleeping you're not allowed in her house because he'll wake up (plus they cosleep and he has never napped in the crib so she has to be RIGHT THERE with him when he's napping), and she won't drive out to my house with her baby because she thinks he can't handle the car ride.

Plus Noah keeps going from perfectly happy to totally FUSSY for no reason.  It's very tiring.  And I feel bad for thinking it's tiring because I love him and I don't like to complain when I know I'm so lucky to have a baby.

AND he's not listening!!  He knows what "No" means, but he ignores it!  Or he shakes his finger back at us (which is pretty frickin funny, actually).  I don't know what I'm supposed to do about a 10 month old who doesn't listen.  I mean, he doesn't fully comprehend life, so even if he knows that "No" means he should stop, I don't think he fully gets it.

I shouldn't complain.  My life rocks, and I love it.  I just wish there was something to do.  Besides have sex (but not instead of).  Every night.  Don't ask me where this came from.  If I was childless and my husband didn't work, we'd probably be at it 3 times a day.