Day 7 of Broken Leg

Noah is definitely no better.  I'm feeling defeated.  His limp is worse again today.  There is no way it will be gone by Monday, like the surgeon predicted.   He has to walk so slow, and he is falling a lot.  He looks like a brand new walker, instead of a kid who's been walking for 7-8 months.  He is also whimpering, seemingly about his leg, a lot more often than he has been since the accident.  I wonder if he will end up with a splint.

I was pretty successful at cutting down his walking time today.  He probably walked only about 20% of how much he usually walks.  I just can't do anything but be right beside him.  He is happy to sit on the floor and play with me for hours at a time.  But I can't be doing anything but paying direct attention to him.  That's great for us, but less than stellar for the state of my house (not that that matters in this situation).

Today I bought Noah a bunch of new toys that I am hoping will be interesting enough to hold his attention and keep him sitting for as long as his Clifford nesting blocks did today.  I got it all half off, but was anticipating the bill to be much higher than it was.  I was excited!

And I wonder how Noah will sleep tonight.  Last night was so crummy.  He was up for hours in the middle of the night, wanting me with him.  He never ever does this, so it was very out of character.  Since the accident he has only had 2 good nights, both of which he was on Tylenol for.  Most of the bad nights I didn't give him any medication.  However, last night I gave him both Tylenol before bed and ibuprofen at 3am, and it didn't make any difference to his sleep.  

I just don't feel comfortable not attending to him right now.  For all I know he's hurt his leg even worse by getting it caught in the crib, or he has caught some bug from spending the entire day in the ER and has thrown up all over himself or something.  I can't ignore the whimpers, whines, and cries right now.

Finally, A Diagnosis

After 2 ER visits, 2 misdiagnoses, and an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon, we have our verdict:

Noah's fibula is broken.

He has what's called a greenstick fracture, or a plastic deformation.  Basically, because his bones are still so flexible, the fibula got bent by the weight of Justin falling on it, and it got fractured in the process.  If he was older, the fracture probably would have been a lot worse.

Greenstick fractures are stable, so the orthopedic surgeon didn't want to cast it or splint it because it would just be a pain in the butt for Noah.  I am fine with that.  But he also said that we should not allow him to walk.

Ummm... have you ever had an 18 month old??  I told him I would do my best, put him in his high chair as much as possible and cuddle with him on my bed watching as much Sesame Street as he would tolerate, but nothing would stop this kid from walking.  Even a broken leg.

We go to see the ortho again on Monday, and then again 2 weeks after that.  He thinks Noah's limp will be a lot better by Monday, hardly noticeable.  Considering how bad it is right now, I have a really hard time believing that.  But we'll see.

So the details of my day are as follows:

We got to the ER in the late morning.  We waited for hours before being called back to a bed.  Noah cried whenever someone touched him.  Not necessarily because it hurt, but because he hates when strangers touch him.  Then we got into x-ray.  X-ray was... oh my goodness.  Torture.  I had to hold down his upper body while a tech held his leg still.  He was screaming as hard as he could and begging to nurse.  He was only in a onesie at this point, but after we were done he was bright red and extremely sweaty.

The ER doctor got the images right away and told us his leg looked fine.  I told him I was still sure it was broken, and that from everything I read, sometimes the break doesn't show up on the x-rays or it can be hard to spot.  He said he's not a radiologist, but he's seen a lot of x-rays and it looked normal to him.  He told me it was probably just a soft tissue injury, like the last ER doctor said.  He said he'd call if the radiology report said anything different.  We were standing at the exit and had basically been dismissed, and I said "Well, his limp just keeps getting worse, which is not consistent with a soft tissue injury.  So what am I supposed to do?    How long do I let this limp go on for until I bring him in again?  And then where do I go?"

The doctor looked perplexed, because he seemed to realize that the whole thing didn't make sense.  So he called the orthopedic surgeon who was on call and talked to him, and the ortho wanted to see me at 4pm today.

We left to bring Noah home to my parent's house for a nap.  Both my mom and I agreed that his fibula did not look normal in the x-ray, even if the doctor thought it did.  It had a curved spot, and I saw some lines that I didn't think belonged there (I saw several x-rays on toddler legs during the past few days while trying to figure out what Noah had, so I was fairly familiar with how they should look, although I wouldn't claim to be an expert).  I was still convinced it was broken.

Noah had a good nap, over an hour.  He woke up at 3:50, and we rushed to the ER again to see the ortho.  We needn't have rushed.  We didn't get to see him until 5:15.  That's when he told us that Noah's leg is, in fact, broken.

And that is when I was vindicated.  I thought his fibula was broken (yes, specifically his fibula, not his tibia), and I told all the doctors and nurses this, so they wouldn't need to investigate all sorts of unnecessary stuff (which they didn't, really, to their credit).  And I could tell they were all like "Oh yeah, okay Mom, Over Reactor."  I tried to explain to them that, if anything, I'd be considered an under reactor, and the fact that I brought my kid to the ER for the second time in a week, and that I am subjecting him to all these scenarios that are going to make him scream his head off, means I know something is wrong.  It was not a stupid soft tissue injury.

And it wasn't.  It was a fracture.

Anyway, Noah was really well behaved the whole day.  He only cried when people were touching him.  Other than that he didn't even complain or whine.  He was the model child.  

-He played with the wheelchairs.  

-He kept walking over to a sick toddler who was crying and saying "Baby!  Baby!  Poor baby."  

-He went over to a 1 month old baby who had a cold and kept saying "Baby!"  

-After that he kept saying "Baby!  Shhhh!"  with his finger in front of his mouth, like we should be quiet for the little baby.  

-He kept running to the automatic doors (which responded to his small stature) trying to escape.  When he finally understood that no matter how many times he tried it, we would always stop him, he started running over to the doors, stopping when they opened, and saying "Uh oh!!!"

-He made fast friends with a couple of kids who came in with their mom, and they were colouring and playing together.

He was so cute:)

Unsuccessful

Our efforts to bypass the ER by getting an x-ray requisition have been unsuccessful.  I mean, sure, we'll get an x-ray appointment in a few days.  And then a radiologist will look at it the next day.  And then he'll send our family doctor the results the next day.  And then we'll get referred to an orthopedic surgeon a day or two or three later.  And then we'll get an appointment at ambulatory care to get a cast put on the next day.  

And by then my kid's leg has been broken for 2 weeks.

I'm pretty sure I'm taking him to the ER in the city nearby tomorrow morning.  I wanted to do this in a way where I could avoid everyone touching him and making him scream hysterically, and avoid spending 4 hours in the ER with an 18 month old.  But apparently that is not possible.

Eff.

Update on Noah's Leg

Alright.  The Incident was on Saturday.  On Sunday Noah woke up and had a rough start, but was eventually able to walk with a limp.  He's been limping ever since, and his leg has been tender when we do certain things to it, although it has been hard to narrow down exactly where it was hurting.  We got so that we figured out it seemed to be his lower leg.  He would protest if we grabbed it, even gently, for a clothes or diaper change (unfortunately that is the leg we always grab during diaper changes).  

By tonight, Tuesday, Noah's limp seems more pronounced, and Justin narrowed it down even further to figure out that it was the outside of his lower leg that is really tender.  

So, Noah is walking, but he can't run, and his gait is nothing like it normally is.  He is clearly favouring his right leg.  He can't step onto even small steps if he has to bear significant weight on his right leg.

Justin did a whole bunch of online research tonight and is now convinced that he broke Noah's leg.  He is sure that Noah has something called a "Toddler's Fracture," which is a fracture of the tibia or fibula.  The series of events, along with Noah's behaviour ever since, fits it perfectly.

So I guess I need to get him in for an xray.  :(  I am mad that they sent us away from the ER on Saturday without doing one, considering there was no one there.  Hopefully it's not actually a fracture, but it sure seems to fit.

Noah's First ER Visit

Tonight was not a good night.

We went into my parents house (they're out of town) for me to do ozone therapy. We brought in a pizza, since we went in at dinner time. The pizza went in the oven and I'd been doing ozone for about 1 minute when Justin fell down the stairs WHILE HOLDING NOAH. He smashed Noah's right leg between his huge 230lb body and the hard stairs. Noah was crying so hard and clinging to me like he never has before. I nursed him to calm him down, but I could tell he was still in pain. We stood him on the ground to see what would happen and he crumpled as soon as he took a step.  He couldn't walk. 

I have never taken him to the doctor or ER for anything before.  I never want to uproot a sick or in pain baby and take him to the doctor, since he hates doctors.  But when that happened, I was like "WE'RE GOING.  NOW."  

We took him to the ER, pretty sure that it is his right foot that's the problem (but not totally sure - it could be the whole leg).  However, because he can bear weight on his leg to a small extent, they didn't do any x-rays or anything because they are pretty sure it's not broken.  They just said to keep giving him ibuprofen and Tylenol and to watch the swelling.  If it's pretty swollen tomorrow, bring him back to the ER. 

But he still can't walk. And he keeps trying to walk, which gives him a lot of pain.

I am really upset about this. And I'm really trying not to be mad at Justin and take it out on him, since that's my personality when I'm upset - I need to blame someone and rant and rave about it.  It's a character flaw that I'm very aware of. Thankfully I've been able to bite my tongue from saying all the things the Mama Bear in me wants to say.  It was a mistake.  And Justin is really upset.  Maybe more upset than me.  When Noah crumpled when he tried to walk, Justin immediately started crying.  It is his worst fear realized.  He is so angry and upset at himself.  I don't blame him.

But still. I'm sad for Noah and worried about him.  When I was nursing him to sleep he kept moving his right leg around.  It's what he does when he's in a lot of pain.  He can't stop moving the injured appendage.

I hope he's okay tomorrow, but I don't think he will be.  I don't know how we're going to keep him from trying to walk all day tomorrow.  Everytime he tries he starts whimpering and crying in pain, but he just keeps trying.  If only he were a little bit older and could understand better that he just needs to crawl right now.

I hate this.  My poor baby:(

Officially Resigned

As I type this, Noah is dancing to Holla Back Girl...

Yesterday, I officially resigned from my teaching position.

Some of you really might not know I was a teacher!  It's been 15 months.  I talk a lot about being a SAHM, but I don't blog a lot about my life before being a SAHM, or what has been going on behind the scenes with my job.  Or rather, my old job.

I haven't taught since I injured myself at work on January 20, 2010.  I was 30 weeks pregnant and ended up going off on WSIB for the remainder of my pregnancy.  I blogged a lot about it back in January/February 2010. 

This didn't affect my maternity leave, which didn't start until Noah was born on March 18, 2010.  I had a full 8 weeks of paid disability leave through WSIB (which is 85% of your wages) before I went on maternity leave.  Parental leave is awesome in Canada.  You get a full year, and you're paid at 60% of your wages.  I had Noah during March break, so I was due to go back to work on March 21, 2011.

We knew I wasn't going to go back unless something drastically changed in our family situation.  Me staying at home with Noah (and any future children) is extremely important to us.  We would pretty much do anything for me not to go back, including move to a smaller house or even rent an apartment to make our cost of living lower.  So far we haven't had to move, but Justin does work basically an extra part time job on top of his more-than-full-time teaching job (he's a private Crossfit trainer).  He probably works 60-70 hours a week during the school year, and during his "summer off" he trains 32+ hours a week.

Despite knowing I would not go back, I wanted to have a little wiggle room just in case something happened.  So back in January, instead of completely resigning, I asked for the rest of the school year off (unpaid, of course), and we would revisit me coming back in September.  I did this mostly so I could have the chance to see what life would be like without the EI pay from parental leave.  My leave was granted, but I was required to give my intentions for the 2011-2012 school year by April 15.

Considering my EI pay didn't stop until March 22, that didn't give us much time at all to see what life was like with just Justin's income.  Sure, we could have just put my EI pay in a separate account and tried to live on just Justin's salary.  But he gets paid by cash and personal cheque for the private training, and it's kind of a month-by-month thing to see how much money we'll be left with each month, or if we'll have to pull some money out of savings because our expenses were higher than expected (like when we finished the laundry room floor this past month, or when Justin re-did the floor and layout in our garage/gym last weekend to make it more functional and able fit more clients at once).

All the details aside, we didn't get a good chance to see how things would go with just Justin's income, but like I said before, we would do anything for me to not go back to work.  April 15 was fast approaching, and I had to resign.

I obviously knew my decision, but I procrastinated.  A lot.  My boss and I are not exactly the best of friends.  He was not very nice to me when I was pregnant.  He gave me crap for the stupidest little things, like being 5 minutes late to the first staff meeting of the 2009-2010 school year because I was 10 weeks pregnant, live 25 minutes from work, and was throwing up all morning.  I explained it to him, but he "didn't want to hear excuses." 

He also called me "unprofessional" because I was protecting the best interests of myself and my unborn baby when signing up for extra curriculars for that year (we are required to do 100+ hours of school extra curricular activities on top of our regular teaching).  Everyone was giving me a hard time about signing up for some things that would be happening once I was off on parental leave, but these were activities I had done every year, like Track and Field in the spring, and school musicals.  And I signed up for my fair share of things that were happening while I was still working.  For example, in the fall on 2009 I was the only coach of the Cross Country team and was the sole organizer and convenor of the Cross Country meet for all the Christian Schools in a 2 hour radius around our school.  I think that's a pretty big job for an exhausted, nauseous pregnant woman (yes, I was still nauseous in my second trimester).  But I had done it the previous 2 years (I was forced to, it's not really something I desire to do), so I figured it only made sense for me to do it again since I knew what I was doing.

Anyway, I said that it was not fair to expect a pregnant woman to do 10 months worth of extra curricular activities in just 6 months, and that the person taking my maternity leave should be expected to do my entire job, not just the teaching portion of it.  It's not like I signed up for activities that were all taking place during my leave.  All my activities were evenly spaced out throughout the school year.

Apparently that is "unprofessional."

He also accused me of being the last person to arrive and the first person to leave everyday - which was COMPLETE bullsh*t.  I was there before him most days, and was always there 25 minutes before the bell rang.  And occasionally I left "early" (15 minutes after the kids were gone), but it was always for a doctor's appointment.

I should mention here that his own wife - who is a teacher at the school... figure that one out - was pregnant as well.  She was 9 weeks behind me.  She would arrive at work literally 5 minutes before the bell rang at the beginning of the day - EVERY SINGLE DAY.  And she completely missed staff meetings - which are mandatory - all the time.  Of course, this was all fine.

Furthermore, just a few days after Noah was born I received a letter in the mail from my principal informing me that the school was suffering from another redundancy, this time 50%, and my previously fulltime position was now a halftime position (I was still the most recently hired person, so was the one affected by the redundancy).  I didn't care about the redundancy, but I did care about how I was informed about it!  A letter in the mail?  They know about possible redundancies for months before a final decision is made, and it is discussed or mentioned at pretty much every staff meeting.  Yet no one thought to inform the person it would affect.  Yes, I was off on WSIB, but they had no problem calling me all the time to bug me about this, that, and the other thing.  And my principal had no problem telling me I "would have to help with report cards" (umm, like heck I would "have" to help! I only had those kids for the first 3 weeks of the term, and any grades from that time were neatly recorded in my gradebook.  Report cards are supposed to be based on the most recent and consistent behaviour and performance.  Whoever has been filling my position for the last 8 weeks of the term can do the report cards!  You're not even paying me!  WSIB is!)  So if they thought I still had responsibilities to them when they weren't even paying me, the least they could do is keep me informed about a possible redundancy that only affects MY job!

Needless to say, I was not in a hurry to have a conversation with him.  I have never liked talking to him, it has always been awkward.  So I procrastinated.

However, it was time.  This Friday is April 15, the deadline.  So I wrote a nice letter of resignation, signed it, and brought it into the school.  He was busy teaching at the time, so I left the letter on his desk in his office with a note on top saying I'm sorry I missed him.  I went and visited the grade 5/6 class, which happens to be my very first class of my own back when they were in grade 2/3.  This was the class my principal was teaching at the time, which was awkward, but I really wanted to see the kids.  I obviously have a soft spot for them.

Until I wrote this particular blog entry, I was feeling like maybe I didn't handle the situation quite right.  I thought maybe I should have waited until he was on a break and talked to him and given him my letter then.  However, after rehashing just a few of the crappy things he's said/done to me, and that was all just in 4.5 months, I don't feel bad anymore.  I wrote a very nice letter of resignation, I handed it in 4 days earlier than I had to, and I visited my old class. 

Frankly, the way he treated me while I was there, and the way he treated me while I was pregnant, I should have just emailed him.

But it's a nice weight off my shoulders!  I'm glad it's done.  So is my Mom, who was getting really sick of pretending she knew nothing whenever someone from church or the school community asked her what I would be doing.

It's official.  I am done with formal employment for who knows how long!  Probably at least a decade.  Weird.

A Post About Me

This blog has basically become a blog about Noah. That's all there is really time to talk about, and frankly when you're a parent your life is taken over by that little one and you forget that you're a seperate person. I say this in a good way.

A few people have kindly wondered how things are going with me lately, considering all the things that have happened in the last year. So here are the updates on me.

First, the good:

My burcitis is completely gone. It's funny; when I was pregnant it was the most excruciating ain everytime I laid on either side. It felt like my hip bones were two spikes digging into my skin. Literally as soon as I gave birth that pain went away. I had Noah at 1:54pm, and by the time I "went to bed" that night it was almost 100% better ("went to bed" is in quotations because I couldn't sleep a wink that night. I was way too keyed up, plus I had Noah in my arms all night).

My pubic bone injury is now healed. It took awhile, actually. It felt a LOT better as soon as I gave birth; the pain was probably at 20% of what it was before I delivered. But 20% of excruciating is still painful. It probably took about 3 months for it to stop hurting when I moved in certain ways or went on a walk.

My back is fine, too. It was so bad the week before I delivered (damn chiropractor went out of town... horrible person)... between my back and my pubic bone I was completely bedridden, using crutches to walk, and even with the crutches I was in tears because the pain was so bad. My back was pretty much 100% better as soon as I delivered.

Now, the bad:

I'm still anemic. I'm still taking my PregVit and extra iron, but I still have low iron.

My colitis is the same.

I got a Live Blood Analysis done in the middle of June. They look at your blood cells live and they can see all kinds of problems. I'm not going to list all the issues I have, because that would take forever. But apparently almost all of my problems are caused by candida (yeast). The naturopath said that was the cause of my colitis. Unfortunately, I can't treat that until I'm done nursing, because the supplements aren't compatible with breastfeeding. I plan to keep breastfeeding until Noah is at least a year, so I have at least 7.5 months before I can do anything about my candida overgrowth. Which means I have a long time of dealing with my array of issues.

I'm sleeping like CRAP. Noah is sleeping really well, and I should be able to get at least 9 hours a night. But I'm lucky if I get 5 or 6. I just wake up and cannot fall back asleep.

I'm pretty sure I have developed restless leg syndrome. My legs don't hurt, but they're just uncomfortable. I'm only comfortable in a position for about 5 minutes, and then I HAVE to move because my legs are uncomfortable. 5 minutes isn't long enough to fall asleep. So I don't.

It drives me crazy. Last night I could have slept 8 hours straight before Noah even woke up to nurse. But I woke up after 5 hours and lied there awake for another 3 hours before he got up. I could have slept another 2 1/2 hours after that until he got up for the day, but I couldn't get to sleep because I couldn't get comfortable.

That's 10.5 hours that I could have slept, but I only got 5 hours. Do you know how insane an insomniac gets? I should mention that when I say I got 5 hours, that's not 5 hours straight. I wake up at least every hour during that time and have to fall back asleep. You know how they say a baby's sleep cycle is 30-40 minutes and they wake up a bit after that amount of time and need to learn how to put themselves back to sleep on their own? I FULLY wake up everytime my sleep cycle restarts and I have a hard time going back to sleep. Maybe I never learned to self soothe. And no, I can't nap. Noah only naps 30-40 minutes at a time. That's not enough time for me to even fall asleep.

I used to just look forward to night time when I could go to sleep... before I was pregnant, anyway. I didn't really like the daytime, and I just looked forward to getting in bed every night and being unconscious.

Now I don't like night time at all. I like daytime. I look forward to the morning when Noah wakes up and we get to hang out for the entire day. I really enjoy my days now that I have him. I love looking forward to a new day. I don't think I've ever looked forward to everyday like I do now that I have him in my life.

I don't know how I function in such a sleep deprived state, but I do. And I still enjoy life.

What I Will Miss... And Not So Much

Well, today is my last day being pregnant. In honour of that, I want to write about all of the best and worst things about my particular pregnancy - things that I will miss terribly, and things I am thrilled to say goodbye to.

Things I Will Miss:

-The knowledge that I am carrying my tiny son inside of me, and that I was able to grow him from one little egg into the full-grown baby he is now.

-Feeling his movements. My favourite movement is seeing an actual leg run across my belly. It's like a rod being passed under my skin. It looks and feels so amazing.

-Never really feeling bored or lonely no matter where I am, because the little munchkin is always moving around for his mommy.

-Not sleeping in the middle of the night, but having the baby keep me company with his movements.

-Having other people see you as special because you're growing a human being.

-Having a constant topic of conversation to talk to strangers and non-strangers about.

-Having other people do things for me, like get my food and drink or clean my house.

-Feeling the most beautiful I've ever felt, because my tight round belly has a baby inside of it. I've actually never felt more comfortable in my body.

-An OB appointment every week (this one might seem so strange, but it was a highlight for me. I was happy to finally see my OBGYN for obstetrical purposes, and every appointment made me feel closer to having a baby.)


Things I Will Not Miss

-Being in excruciating pain, for many reasons, 24/7.

-Having torn cartilage in my pubic bone (you can't imagine the pain until you've had it)

-Feeling like my back is literally broken

-Getting out of bed to pee every 45-60 minutes all night long

-The incredibly painful feat of actually getting out of bed, which makes me gasp and break out in a sweat everytime.

-Having to use crutches to get to the bathroom because I literally cannot walk on my own

-Not being able to sleep simply because of the pain

-Only having 2 positions to sleep in, which both make me feel as if I had sharp spikes digging into my hip bones

-Stabbing pains through my cervix

-The feeling of not being able to breathe

-Being kicked in the ribs

-Pitting edema

-Not being able to do things for myself, like getting food, drink, or cleaning my house (while it's nice to have others do things for you, it's not nice when they do them because you actually can't do them).

-Only sleeping 3-5 hours a night

-Not being able to find a single position to sit, lie, or stand in that doesn't hurt like heck

-Not being able to see my "womanhood"

-Not being able to shave my legs, not only because I can't reach them but because my pubic bone screams in pain when I try.


I am actually really sad to be finished being pregnant. I know that sounds ridiculous, because I've been in excruciating pain for 8 weeks now. But I wanted to be pregnant so badly, and it's about to be over. I'm not like other people who know they can get pregnant and experience that anytime they want. I'll miss having Bambino inside of me. I wish I didn't have to give up that part in order to have him on the outside. It's sad to come to the end of this, even though I feel like I've been pregnant for 2 years already and am so ready to meet my son!

Honestly, pretty much the only things I won't miss all have to do with pain. Besides the pain, I have adored being pregnant. It's been the most fulfilling experience of my entire life.

Bambino, your Mom and Dad already love you so much. We can't wait to meet you tomorrow and finally hold you in our arms. We have never wanted anything more than we want you. We are so thankful to have you!

PS> Please be easy on your Mommy tomorrow when you're coming out :)

Annoyance

Yesterday on facebook I said in my status that "Lauren is glad this baby is fully cooked, because my body is DONE. I've never been in so much constant and intense pain in so many different areas in my entire life."

I got some comments that annoyed me (like someone who thinks she's some sort of poet, writing "___ remembers that once the baby is in your arms the miracle of birth and joys of motherhood shall wipe these uncomfortable moments away....." ummm okaaaay), but one in particular put me over the edge. Someone said "Laughs... Every single woman in the world who has been through pregnancy knows exactly what you're talking about! Dont fret though, almost over!!"

Ummm, screw you. You have no idea what you're talking about.

I couldn't let it go, so I commented this:

"Lady, I'm going to have to disagree! I know plenty of pregnant people who were able to be active right up until the end, and just had some mild discomfort. Most people don't tear cartilage in their pelvis AND develop burcitis in both their hips (so that it feels like my hip bones have turned into sharp spikes digging into me) on TOP of the extreme back pain and all the other aches, pains, and discomforts! Most pregnant people can shift their bodies in bed without breaking out in a sweat from the excruciating pain. Most pregnant people can get out of bed without being forced to use crutches because they physically can't walk. And most pregnant people don't start dealing with all that at 30 weeks!

It's not really your average pregnant scenario. Just had to put that out there:)"

I don't know if that sounds bitchy, but I really tried my hardest to not make it sound how I feel. That smiley face? I so didn't want that to be there. I only put it so that the world wouldn't go "Whoa, Lauren! Simmer down."

They probably still will. Whatever.

Sleeping in a Chair

On Wednesday evening Justin and I picked up my rocker/recliner chair that has been in my grandparents' basement since 2007. I've been talking about wanting to pick it up ever since I started experiencing hip pain back in the fall. I've been wanting to try sleeping in it. Lying on my side is extremely painful for my hips, and it is now 400 times worse because of my pubic bone injury.

For whatever reason, nighttime is the worst time for pain in that area. It's the side-lying. It does something to the pubic bone that causes it to majorly seize up. I can't walk when I go to the bathroom at night (I have to use crutches), and any slight movement while I'm lying down is horrible. It honestly makes me cry. Everytime I move my entire pelvic ring (tailbone, hip bones, and pubic bone) clicks and pops painfully after I've been side lying. It takes a long time to recover from that level of pain (and go back down to your normal level of pain) once morning comes.

We haven't been at my grandparent's since then, so it never happened. On Wednesday we finally got it, but Justin was training that night and didn't take it out of the Jeep. Yesterday he took it out, so we rearranged our bedroom furniture and put it beside the bed.

I don't know if it was just a fluke, but sleeping in that chair gave me a completely different sleep than sleeping on my side in bed. I thought I wouldn't sleep that well, but I was sleeping horribly anyway (honestly, it can't get any worse than only getting a few hours a night total, and waking up every 45 minutes and peeing every hour), and this way I wouldn't be in excruciating pain.

Because I didn't anticipate being able to fall asleep easily in the chair, I started out the night in bed. I slept for an hour, then had to pee. I painfully got out of bed and cracked, clicked, popped, and crutched my way to the bathroom, just like normal. I then cracked, clicked, popped, and crutched my way back to bed, where I proceeded to get onto my other side (amidst gasps and tears of pain) and eventually fell asleep.

One hour later, repeat the previous sequence.

After that I decided to try out the chair. I got my pillows, put earplugs in (on top of everything else that causes me not to sleep, any slight noise makes my brain jolt awake. I've always been like that. Aren't I lucky?), situated myself, and fell asleep relatively quickly. I woke up a few times, but didn't have any pain that caused me to have to change positions (not that you can on a chair), and didn't have the extremely strong urge to pee. I actually was able to stay in the chair sleeping most of the time, for 2 1/2 hours before peeing again. After that I made it until 6:10am before Justin's alarm went off and I had to pee again. Granted, I woke up probably 4 or 5 times during that next 2 1/2 hours, but I didn't wake up from pain or from having to pee. I just woke up because I'm a crappy sleeper.

So I only peed 3 times during my actual night of sleeping (bookmarked on either end by me peeing right before bed and right when I woke up), and this morning I could actually walk without the crutches. It still hurts, but not like it normally does in the morning.

The only issue with the chair is that my back hurts. Justin said it must be because I'm reclining backwards about 45 degrees and I have all these extra weight from my belly that's putting pressure on my back.

But you know what? I can deal with the back pain. It's not nearly as horrible as the pelvic girdle pain I deal with.

Hopefully tonight will have similar results!

OB Appointment, Mucus Plus, Hospital Bag, and Registry Stuff

35 weeks 1 day

I had my 35 week OB appointment today. I gained 1.5 lbs in the past 2 weeks, and my blood pressure and urine were fine. I was wondering if they would be because for the past two weeks I have been excessively thirsty. Crazily thirsty. Way more thirsty than I've ever been in my life. I drink two huge glasses of water overnight every night, and then a whole glass as soon as I wake up. I used to drink about half a glass overnight. I know that the drinking doesn't help with the peeing (which I do 6-7 times each night) and getting up to pee is excruciatingly painful for me. I have to use crutches to get to the bathroom because I absolutely cannot walk. I can barely get out of bed, actually. But man, if I don't drink I can't sleep. My thirst drives me to distraction. I looked it up, and excessive thrist can be a sign of gestational diabetes. But my urine was fine, and at 27 weeks my GD test was fine, so I guess I'm fine!

The little munchkin has dropped considerably. This whole pregnancy I measured a week ahead. Now this week I measured a week behind. Which means that he has moved down enough to put me 2cm off of my regular growth. My OB said that measuring at this point in the pregnancy just gives him something to do, because if the baby starts dropping the measurements mean nothing. He checked it out and said he could feel the baby's head no problem. So I guess I will never make it to a 40 week measurement! I probably will never make it to even 38cm. It's funny though, because you would never guess by looking at me. I'm bigger than a lot of people who are 40 weeks. I was bigger than my friend who was 42 weeks! Everyone has been thinking I'm ready to go since I was about 32 weeks. I'm just very protuberant.

For a few days I've been having globs of cervical mucus, which I haven't had this entire pregnancy. Then today it was a brown glob, along with regular CM that was tinged with brown. I told my OB and he said I'm starting to lose my mucus plug. I know this means very little, since the plug can regenerate itself. It doesn't mean I'm going into labour or that I'm close to going into labour. But I still find it interesting.

For several hours today, including the hour that I was waiting for the OB (he was delivering a baby and then had to play catch up) I was having contractions every 3 minutes. I didn't think I was in labour or anything, but it occurred to me that any one of these appointments I could go in there with contractions and be told that I'm in labour (that's how it happened with my mom) - and I don't have my hospital bag packed!!

I imagined the mess Justin would make of trying to pack me a bag (no offense hunny, I know you would try your best, but a man just isn't capable of packing a woman's bag), and how many things I would be missing. So I decided to stop procrastinating and get the thing packed. It's not 100% finished, and I need to make a list of last-minute add-ons to put on top of the bags, but I'm doing pretty good now.

I got very excited when I checked my registry this evening. Somebody bought my breast pump!!! I had that on the list of things that I was going to have to pick up next week, before the baby comes, but somebody bought it for us, along with a twin pack of 4 oz bottles, a twin pack of 9 oz bottles, and a pack of reusable nursing pads. I am very excited.

I only have one inkling of who might have bought it. Justin's aunt asked him the other day if we had any larger items that we still needed, like a high chair or play pen or something. Justin told her he'd ask me, but he's pretty sure we have all of those big items (which we do). The only "big" thing we still needed was the breast pump (if you call $70 a big item). So I told my mother-in-law that it would be great if Mary could buy us the breast pump. I only suggested it because Mary specifically wanted us to tell her what to buy.

My mother in law seemed to think that was innappropriate, and that it was too personal of a gift for someone to buy me. I disagree completely. I'm not asking someone to pick one OUT for me. I already did that! But she wanted to buy us something we needed, and that's something we need! I don't see what the big deal is there. If I was going to spend that much money on a shower gift I would have no problem buying someone a breast pump. I told my mother-in-law as much (and tried not to feel ridiculous for suggesting it in the first place).

So I don't know if it was Mary who bought it. But whoever it was, I deeply appreciate it! I can't wait to find out who it was!

Owww

I am contracting like CRAZY. I always get a ton of braxton hicks everyday (upwards of 50), but I am not kidding, I must have had 50 just in the last 2 1/2 hours. They're non stop. And they switch between strong ones that are every 6 or 7 minutes to milder ones that are every 3 or 4 minutes. I'm sick of it! Unless this is preparing me to deliver right at 37 weeks, I want it to stop!

My pubic bone is also in crazy crazy pain today. Usually in the middle of the day if I've been resting (sitting down, not lying down, that actually makes it worse once I get up) I can walk relatively normally. Not today! I bet today is the worst I've felt, save for the actual day of the injury (and maybe the day afterward).

When I saw my chiropractor today (hadn't seen him since Friday) he said "Dropping more, eh?" Well I better be! If there's not a physiological reason for this increased pain, I will go insane.

Who am I kidding? I'm already going insane.

On the brightside, my mom came and cleaned my house again for the third time. She brought with her kitchen garbage bags (she doesn't like ours), cleaners that she likes (which are to stay here), 4 brand new microfibre cloths, and a chocolate bar. Did I mention she also bought us this really great dry duster/mop type thing a few weeks ago? She's so awesome. I don't know what I'd do without her. I'd have a much dirtier house, that's for sure!

On the WSIB front... they've messed up again. They overpaid my work by 4 days when they were trying to reimburse them for my time off, so somehow I have to get another cheque from my work. But my work has to figure out the per day rate and then pay me. And of course they didn't call me about it, I had to call them. I wonder if they were hoping I wouldn't notice.

It was so stupid of WSIB to make that mistake in the first place. And because of it, I'm not slated to get a cheque from them for quite some time. I was told the 22nd on the phone (which means I won't get it until probably the 26th), but my work said they were told the 18th. I believe what I heard firsthand. Nobody from WSIB is calling me back, so I can't really figure out what's going on.

I'm tired of dealing with people. I'm off to watch more Olympics. If we had junk food, I would eat it, too. Why do we have to be so friggin healthy?!

Pregnancy and Pictures at 34 Weeks

How far along: 34 weeks

Total weight gain: 13 lbs since 8 weeks.

Stretch marks?: The tops of some of the stretch marks on my sides are either reddening or growing. Probably growing. I have 3 little red spots on both of my sides. And just in the past couple of days I got two tiny little stretch marks on the top and bottom of my belly-button ring hole. They're not very noticeable, and that's the tightest skin on my belly, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. But I'm still not pleased! I'm afraid of what will happen stretch-mark-wise over the next 6 weeks.

Sleep: Terrible. My pubic bone hurts the most at night (I have to use crutches to go to the washroom 6 times a night), and my hip pain is getting worse. It hurts to lie still, but it KILLS to try and change positions because of my pubic bone. I'm also excessively thirsty all night, which doesn't help with the peeing. On top of it all, I usually spend a good 2 hours awake each night.

Best moments this week: I guess this was last week, but Justin actually heard Bambino having hiccups through my belly. My belly wasn't moving with them either, I could just feel it really low down on my cervix, so he wasn't cheating! Everytime I felt a jump on my cervix, Justin heard a little glub.

Food cravings: Anything that's not good for me.

Sex: Boy

Labor signs?: I'm about 2 cm dilated and have about 50 Braxton Hicks everyday (although they do seem to have eased up a tiny bit since I've been off work). The baby has also dropped a little bit, but not all the way.

New Symptoms: I don't think there's anything new. Just the same old stuff: insomnia, hip pain, pubic bone pain, baby's bum and feet in my ribs, dizziness, trouble breathing sometimes, the occasional leg or foot cramp (these have lessened), fatigue, and being exceptionally warm at night time. The only thing new is that this week my pelvis has started to click and pop when I try to walk after lying down. But not in my hip area, in the pubic symphisis area.

Belly Button: Popped. And getting tiny stretch marks.

What I miss the most: Living pain free. And being able to take ibuprofen and various other pain medications.

What I am looking forward to the most: Baby showers in 5 days and 12 days. I'm excited to see people! I also can't wait for them to be over so we can finish up all the preparations for the baby being here. I want to know what we still need to buy, but won't know until after the showers.

Milestones: 34 weeks is apparently a great milestone for premie babies. Once a baby is 34 weeks or past they usually have way less complications than the babies born from 30-33 weeks, and usually nothing permanent.

Saturday Nesting at 34 Weeks

I was never able to have that nap I spoke about on Thursday. Shortly after I posted my work called and I found out that they are no longer going to be paying me; instead, WSIB will be paying me directly. This is fine, except for the fact that I have absolutely no idea when I will get paid by WSIB, or how much it will be. I was counting on a paycheque from my school on Friday, and now I have no idea when I'll get one.

I called my case manager immediately after I found this out to try and figure out the logistics of everything. It is now Saturday and he never called me back. They are supposed to get back to you within 8 business hours. Now I'll have to wait until Tuesday (if he even calls me back then), because Monday is a holiday. This all only reinforces my dislike of this person.

On to other things...

This morning hubby and I got a bunch of stuff done, stuff that had been waiting to be done for quite some time, and needed to be done before the baby comes, otherwise it will be even longer before it gets done.

-I cleaned out a wicker basket and magazine holder that were in our office. Now the magazine holder actually holds magazines in our bathroom and the wicker basket is in Bambino's room, waiting to hold some of his stuff.

-I cleaned off and organzied the top of my dresser... it was an absolute mess.

-We re-arranged the furniture in the upstairs guest bedroom to a layout that provides us with more concentrated floor space. I thought this would be a good idea because we'll be keeping baby stuff in there, so floor space is important.

-We hung three pictures that have been homeless for quite sometime. It's nice to not have them sitting on the floor leaning up against walls.

-We hung the blinds in one of the downstairs guest bedrooms. I have a friend coming to stay next weekend, and I'd prefer her to stay in the lower level with her own bathroom than upstairs across the hall from us and sharing our cheater-ensuite bathroom. Besides, the upstairs guest room is the room that holds all of Justin's clothes.

-I also did normal things, like cleaning the kitchen, a load of laundry and some reorganizing of Bambino's change table. I'm sure that change table will be reorganized many times over, especially after the showers, but I'm just doing it in stages.

Needless to say, my pelvis is killing me. I was in the crankiest mood and snapping about everything this morning because of the pain. It just keeps getting worse, and morning time is the most painful part of my day. But seriously, stuff still needs to get done, and a lot of this is stuff that other people just can't do for me.

Soon we're going to go into town to do some groceries and pick up storage totes and a new set of sheets. The sheets in our downstairs guest room suck, but they're the only double sheets we have. I don't want to have my friend sleep on them, so we're getting new ones. The storage totes are to pack away more stuff in. The specific reason we're getting them now (when we've needed more for a long time) is for bath towels. We definitely don't need 30 bath towels and 50 wash cloths in our bathroom closet. We're going to clear out most of them and put them in storage so that we have more space in there for the baby's stuff.

While we're in town we're going to have dinner at my parent's house and hopefully see my uncle that I haven't seen in 7 years. I've always really liked him, but he lives across the country, and Justin has never met him, so it should be a good evening.

Soon we're going to have to make it to my grandparents' to pick up my storage chest and lazy boy. Maybe this weekend sometime.

Obviously I am in full nesting mode. 6 weeks left!! But we have no more free weekends until a week before my due date. We definitely can't leave things until then.

33 weeks 3 days

Today I was getting overwhelmed by the amount of laundry I was going to have to do this weekend if I didnt get some done now, so I did two loads. Those two loads ended up being mostly baby stuff. I finally broke down and washed all our washcloths, towels, receiving blankets, burp cloths, bibs, and hats. That stuff took forever to fold! I'm glad I did it, considering that I have two baby showers in the next 2 weeks, which will mean lots more baby laundry!

I also washed the padded covers for our baby swing and bouncer. We bought these second-hand last summer (wow, that seems sooo long ago), and they looked good. I think they were only used by one kid. But after being washed they look even better. I was postponing doing it so that I wouldn't feel the need to wash them twice, but I figure with 6 1/2 weeks until my due date I'm probably not going to feel the need to wash them again before the baby gets here.

Speaking of my due date, yesterday I had a bit of a labour scare. It was nothing major, and I was never really very concerned, but Justin was! For about an hour before he came home for lunch I was moving around showering, emptying the dishwasher, cleaning the kitchen, and making us lunches (my friend was coming over for tea, so I had to get this all done on a deadline). While I was in the shower I started to feel really crummy. I was lightheaded and was having a hard time breathing. I started having long contractions (some as long as 2 1/2 minutes) that were spaced very close together. On top of that, I was feeling a constant achy crampiness through my lower abdomen and lower back, which is apparently a sign of real labour.

This went on for over an hour, but I had to get all this stuff done in the house so I couldn't just sit down and rest to see if things would improve. Finally I was done everything and Justin and I sat down to eat lunch. Shortly after that my neighbour came over for tea. She stayed for about 2 1/2 hours. My achy crampiness got a little better over that period of time, and my contractions didn't get any worse, so I knew I was in the clear. And obviously, since I'm writing this, I had no baby and everything is fine. I was mildly concerned at the time (being 33 weeks, 2 cm dilated, and about 75% effaced makes false labour a bit more of a worry than it might otherwise be!), but only mildly. I guess it's that mommy's instinct... I didn't feel like I should be worried, and I didn't feel like the baby was going to come. I just felt like I should probably lie down for awhile!

I'm going to go lie down right now, actually. I think I'll try and nap sometime this afternoon. Justin won't be home until past 7, and this is the one day this week that I don't have anywhere I need to be. I woke up at 4:15am and never fell back asleep, so I deserve to sleep. My pelvic pain is getting worse and worse everyday. It's getting to the point that I'm seriously considering using the crutches again.

33 Week OB Appointment

My mom came with me to my OB appointment today. She wanted to hear the baby's heartbeat. I also think she wanted to see my OB, because he was her OBGYN, and actually delivered me. She also is in love with him because he gave her a hysterectomy about 15 years ago, which was the greatest thing ever for her.

Everything at the appointment was fine.

-I gained a pound and a half in the past 2 weeks, so my weight is back up to what it was at 29 weeks, putting my total weight gain at 13 lbs since 8 weeks.

-My blood pressure was fine at 133/82. That's a bit high for me, but it's still normal so I'm not worried.

-My urine tested negative for protein and sugar (I was a bit worried about the protein thing, since my BP had been high for awhile).

-The heartbeat was fine, according to the OB. It sounded a bit slower to me, but what do I know? It's not like I was timing it or anything. Although I don't think he was either.

-I measured right on track this week, which kind of confirms my suspicions that baby boy is starting to drop. I usually measure ahead, and I always grow 1 cm per week. The OB said that the baby is probably making his way down in my pelvis. Which is so awesome, since it makes my pelvic injury hurt like hell!

-I was looking at diagrams of cervical effacement, and when I compared the diagrams to how my cervix feels, I matched the 80% effaced diagram. I'm not a doctor, but I know my cervix pretty darn well after being a cervix checker for 2 years. And my cervix is almost non-existent now. I definitely don't have enough cervix left to come close to matching the 50% effaced diagram! So between the effacement and the dilation, I'm well on my way.

My next OB appointment is in two weeks, when I'm 35 weeks. After that I'm every week. So next week is my last week without an OB appointment until the baby comes. That's crazy.

I also visited my GP to talk about my pelvic injury and he said I need to stay off my feet, and that he'd write me any notes I need and fill out anything that WSIB needs too. I don't need anything from him at this point, but it's good to know that he'll take care of it if need be. Apparently the secretary was misinformed. Or maybe it's just because I got the new doctor instead of my original doctor. I haven't seen my original doctor in years! I know he's about to retire, but does he ever work?!

Good Week

32 weeks 4 days

1. This week was a really good week. I've already blogged about a lot of it, but I'm going to recap and add some new stuff.

2. My mom came and cleaned my house for me.

3. I got a lot of nice baby stuff for really cheap at the secondhand kid's shop where I live.

4. WSIB approved my claim, so I get paid in full for my time off.

5. The chiropractor took me off work indefinitely, so I'm pretty sure I'm totally done work now.

6. I finally cleaned out my office and classroom of most of my personal items, and this morning I had everything put away or packed into a box by 8am.

7. I had tea with my friend twice.

8. I got to go to the chiropractor 3 times, all paid for by someone other than me.

9. On Thursday we got our new Flip UltraHD camcorder in the mail, which we bought by redeeming our airmiles, so it was free!

10. Last night I had a nice visit and dinner with my parents and visiting sister.

11. Today I got my Valentine's Day/Birthday present in the mail. A ring from Tiffany & Co. Is it weird that it arrived when Justin was at work, I was having tea with my neighbour, and I opened it up and am already wearing it? :) I love it!

12. Tonight I'm going to the movies and out for snacks afterward with my mom, sister, friend, and her mom. It's our tradition to do this 2 or 3 times a year, and I always enjoy it. I only slept 5 hours (tops) last night, so I might be pretty tired, but I'm still looking forward to it! Justin is driving me into and out of town, so that will help with the fatigue.

13. I haven't had to cook all week. We got soup and meat and lasagna from Justin's family. I really didn't enjoy the lasagna because I didn't like the sauce it was made out of, and I didn't enjoy the soup because his mom ruined my favourite soup by putting wine in it (blech), but at least my husband had real food to eat everyday and I didn't have to cook! I just ate other things.

What a nice week. I don't think anything actually bad happened. How lovely:)

Indefinitely

I went to the chiropractor today and informed him that WSIB approved my claim. He laughed at me and said "See, didn't I tell you?" Yeah, yeah.

Because I'm still in a significant amount of pain and not improving, he gave me a note saying that I will be off work indefinitely due to PGP (pelvic girdle pain). I don't have to live week to week anymore. Now I'm just off work permanently, unless I magically get better in the next 5 weeks (which is all I would have left of work if I went back now).

I'm very relieved by this whole turn of events today. I'm off work, pretty much for good, but I get paid in full. It's such a relief to know what's happening now. And frankly, it's a relief to not have to work and to have a legitimate reason for it, even if the legitimate reason causes me pain. I was in a fair amount of pain and discomfort already before this happened and I was wondering how I was going to work until 38 weeks. Now I can relax and enjoy the end of my pregnancy... while sitting in bed because walking hurts too much. lol.

My sister came to town yesterday and tonight we went to my school after everyone was gone and I picked up a bunch of my stuff. I had food, snowpants, two pairs of boots, and endless supplies and binders and guides there. I got most of that stuff, and I can get the rest later. I also went through my laptop to delete any of websites I had in my favourites that were personal (like pregnancy and infertility sites). I also deleted any personal files and pictures off the hard drive. I left only school related stuff on there.

I feel all cleaned up. I just have two slight problems to deal with.

1) I have so much school crap at home now and have nowhere to put it. It'll be a lot of work to find places for all this stuff.

2) My school is still paying me, so I have to pick up paycheques every two weeks. It's always awkward to go pick up a paycheque at a place where you're not actually working.

Those are minor things, obviously. I can deal.

Hurray!!! Great News!

My WSIB claim was approved!!!!

I am so flippin excited. I feel so much better about everything now. I can stop feeling guilty for all the time I've taken off, because my school will get reimbursed for what they've paid me and I'll get reimbursed all my sick time (not that it matters, since I'm done work in 5 weeks). And I get 12 weeks of chiropractic care covered!!! That's a lot of care, and it's really good for me at this point in my pregnancy!

I'm so excited right now. I was afraid that the pregnancy would complicate things (because the injury wouldn't have happened unless I was pregnant and was all loose from the hormones, and the healing is slower because of the same reason). A friend said that pregnancy would only help my claim, but she's never dealt with WSIB before so she was just going on the theory of basic human decency.

I think I still have to live week-to-week as far as whether I'm going back, which drives me kind of nuts, but at least I don't have to feel nervous and guilty when I send my principal updates and doctors notes, because it's no longer costing him any money to have me off. Yaaaaaay!

If he were smart, he would figure out my maternity leave replacement now so she could cover the rest of the time that I'm off. Even if I end up back, it's probably better for the class to have had the teacher that they're going to have for the rest of the school year. Although the supply who is in for me right now is fantastic, and the kids all know her well, so I'm less worried about the state of things if I go back, knowing that she's the one taking care of everything.

I'm so glad I had everything all lined up for someone to step in and take over. I spent like a week getting that all done at the beginning of January, just in case something happened. The only loose ends are that I have a ton of personal stuff I need to take out of the school, and I want to go through my laptop (owned by my school) to delete anything that isn't totally school related. I have ultrasound photos on there, and I'm pretty sure my taxes are still on there from last year!

I just knew my principal was making a mistake when I saw the advertisement for covering my maternity leave. He's not doing interviews until February 16-19. When I saw this, back before I got injured, I said to DH and my mom "This is really not smart. What if I get taken off work for some reason? I'll be 36 weeks pregnant before he even hires anyone. He's cutting it too close. If he did the interviews sooner then he would have someone lined up to cover me already."

I was so right. Sometimes my intuition surprises even me (lol).

Randomness

32 weeks

-I slept very poorly last night. I've been awake since 3:45 am and haven't even had a nap. For awhile I couldn't fall back asleep because I was hungry. So I ate. Then I couldn't fall back asleep because I was uncomfortable and in pain. Then I finally got really sleepy, but couldn't fall asleep because I just felt awful. I was lying down, but I starting feeling all nauseous, queasy, breathless, and and light-headed. It was strange. Why would that happen when I've been lying down on my left side and just ate something an hour beforehand?

-I got strict instructions from the chiropractor today: "Don't do anything."

-My Mom came over today and cleaned my house! How awesome is that? I didn't even ask her to. She didn't actually get around to doing the whole house, but she did an amazing job on my kitchen and main bathroom, which are the parts that people look at most closely and that have the most traffic (and therefore get dirty faster), so they're the most important! I'm so thankful, especially since my MIL is coming over tomorrow evening and I'd be so embarassed to have a dirty house. But I'm really not supposed to do anything.

-Justin started up a February "boot camp" (we hate that term) tonight. It's supposed to be two evenings a week, as long as at least 3 people RSVP to each night (otherwise the session is cancelled). He brought in a nice $75 tonight, for one hour of training! A small portion of that money was prepaid for future sessions by one client, but the majority of it was just for tonight, paid by clients who will be coming back and just didn't prepay. I think I've said this before, but he's such a great provider!!

-I'm really sore today. It's ridiculous how much I still hurt when I get up and try to walk. It gets a little better when I've been moving around for a couple of minutes, but if I do move around like that it ends up getting worse in the long run. It's a conundrum.


I wish I was further along. I would just go on maternity leave. But when this next week off is up I'll only be 33 weeks. I was planning on working until 38 weeks, and then because March break was right after that I wouldn't have to start my mat leave until I was 39 weeks. If I go off at 33 weeks I'll be off 6 weeks earlier than I wanted to be. Which isn't so bad in the short term; it's not like we desperately need those 6 extra weeks with my full pay. I think I'd only lose about $1000 altogether. But if I end up having to go back next year, then I either have to go back 6 weeks earlier than I was planning to, or I have to go 6 weeks without any pay whatsoever.

This is the whole reason I was waiting until March break to go off. Because I could go off 11 days earlier than my maternity leave would officially start. And that's the whole reason I never considered going off even a week or two sooner. Because I wouldn't just be losing a week or two, I'd be losing a week or two plus those 11 days. So I don't want this injury to affect my maternity leave.

I just want this all to be settled. I have a strong feeling that this pain is not going to be getting better before I give birth. I wish I knew right now if WSIB is going to cover the claim. It's been almost two weeks, and besides the improvement I had in the first few days, there's been no more improvement. So if WSIB isn't going to cover the claim, then I might as well just go on disability. I really hate this limbo business. Every week having to say again "Yeah, sorry, I won't be there next week either." I'd rather my school just KNOW so they can hire my maternity leave replacement and the class can just adjust to their new "normal." And I can just deal with resting and trying to heal, rather than having this "Am I going back next week?" hanging over my head all the time.