I got a call from my OB today telling me that they just got my bloodwork back and it shows that my hemoglobin is very low and I need to get on iron supplements immediately.
I gave birth 13 days ago, and they JUST got my bloodwork - bloodwork that was done while I was in the hospital - that shows that I need to be on iron supplements. I can't believe it took that long! I didn't ask for my level, but it's obviously pretty low, because my hemoglobin was already low during my pregnancy and my OB didn't want me to go on iron supplements then because of my bowel issues. I guess it's way lower now, because he's changed his tune.
So I am anemic, and I'm only getting 3-4 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. I guess this explains my weakness, my massive marathon headaches, my completely lack of energy, my sleep sweats, my shortness of breath, and maybe even my hallucinations.
This morning we tried putting Noah in his nursery from 4:30-6:00am because I had only gotten 2 hours of sleep. He is such a loud grunter (even my mom, who had 4 kids, says he's a very loud grunter), and does it all through the night while he's sleeping. And I'm a bad sleeper, so any grunting keeps me awake. By 6 he was starving so Justin got up and brought him to me (he had to get up for the day anyway) and after I nursed him I put him back to sleep in his bassinet next to me. For the next two hours I was paralyzed. I literally could not move except to occasionally lift up my head to see if all of Noah's noises were from him being awake and needing to eat, or if he was just sleeping. Half the time I couldn't even do that. I wasn't even really sleeping, except the occasional dozing. I was just unable to move.
As I lay there I was kind of freaked out. Here I was, home alone, and I felt totally incapable of caring for my child. I'm sure that if he had started crying, something in me would have broken free of my paralyzed state and I would have been able to get out of bed to pick him up. But it was really freaking me out that I was the only person around to take care of him at that time, and I could barely even lift my head to look at him. I was just thankful that my mom was coming in a couple of hours, because I honestly thought I might not be able to get out of bed before she arrived.
Hopefully being on the iron supplements will give me a bit more energy. I'm exhausted enough as it is, I don't really need anything else adding to it.
Weight Loss Update: In 12 days I lost 33 lbs. I am now 17 lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Happy Due Date, Noah!
Today is the official due date of my little Bambino. I'm so glad that he's already been here for 11 days. I actually can't even imagine what kind of physical state I would be in right now if he was still inside of me. My body feels so much better than it has for months and months.
In some ways it feels like he's been here for forever, and in some ways it feels like he just got here. It's really amazing how drastically your life changes when you bring a baby into it. Your entire focus as a couple changes completely. You're suddenly consumed by this tiny little being that you created together, and all of your conversations revolve around him (that's going to have to change:). The days fly by because you can't do anything the way you used to do it. Suddenly showering and pouring a bowl of cereal is a huge feat (and not because you're physical incapable of doing so, but because there's a little creature constantly attached to your boob:).
The nights are long, though. It's lonely to sit in bed in the dark nursing your baby every 2 hours with your husband dead asleep beside you. It's weird to wake up hallucinating because you're so sleep deprived that you don't know what reality is. And it's frustrating to not be able to sleep because your baby is being really noisy in his bassinet 1 foot away from your ear. I wear earplugs to drown out the really soft little noises, but I can still hear almost everything!
I don't really like nighttime. But I do love when I get my baby out of his bed to eat and his little mouth is already smacking away, trying to nurse on the air. It's hilarious trying to get him to open his mouth wide to get a proper latch, but he's so sleepy and so hungry that he can't control himself. I love kissing his little face when I pick him up and having him try to suck on my cheek or my nose. I love how he looks like a little bean pod in his green swaddler, and how when I unwrap him from it his arms and legs stay straight for awhile.
It's hard to explain how being Noah's mom is everything I imagined, but nothing like what I thought. It's overwhelming, and it's absolutely wonderful.
Talking about it makes me want to go kiss him all over. So I'm going to go join Daddy and Noah... who I've just been informed is smacking his tongue trying to nurse on the air again:)
In some ways it feels like he's been here for forever, and in some ways it feels like he just got here. It's really amazing how drastically your life changes when you bring a baby into it. Your entire focus as a couple changes completely. You're suddenly consumed by this tiny little being that you created together, and all of your conversations revolve around him (that's going to have to change:). The days fly by because you can't do anything the way you used to do it. Suddenly showering and pouring a bowl of cereal is a huge feat (and not because you're physical incapable of doing so, but because there's a little creature constantly attached to your boob:).
The nights are long, though. It's lonely to sit in bed in the dark nursing your baby every 2 hours with your husband dead asleep beside you. It's weird to wake up hallucinating because you're so sleep deprived that you don't know what reality is. And it's frustrating to not be able to sleep because your baby is being really noisy in his bassinet 1 foot away from your ear. I wear earplugs to drown out the really soft little noises, but I can still hear almost everything!
I don't really like nighttime. But I do love when I get my baby out of his bed to eat and his little mouth is already smacking away, trying to nurse on the air. It's hilarious trying to get him to open his mouth wide to get a proper latch, but he's so sleepy and so hungry that he can't control himself. I love kissing his little face when I pick him up and having him try to suck on my cheek or my nose. I love how he looks like a little bean pod in his green swaddler, and how when I unwrap him from it his arms and legs stay straight for awhile.
It's hard to explain how being Noah's mom is everything I imagined, but nothing like what I thought. It's overwhelming, and it's absolutely wonderful.
Talking about it makes me want to go kiss him all over. So I'm going to go join Daddy and Noah... who I've just been informed is smacking his tongue trying to nurse on the air again:)
"Weigh" Surprised
As most of you know, I only gained 16 lbs with my pregnancy. This really surprised me, because I thought I'd gain about 40. I also thought it would take months for my body to go back to normal. You know what they say: 9 months up, 9 months down.
Well, apparently it's 9 months up, 9 DAYS down. At least for me.
9 days after giving birth I had lost 30lbs. Yeah. I gained 16, but lost 30. In 9 days. Without trying.
I'm now 11 days past giving birth and I haven't weighed myself again, so I don't actually know if I've lost anymore weight. But I am so surprised.
I'm even more surprised by the fact that my stomach is completely flat. It's not like I have firm muscles, but it's flat. And when I suck in, my stomach goes way in under my ribs. I'm just waiting for my stomach muscles to go back together before I start working on my core again, so my stomach can be firm.
The other day Justin said to me "You just look like this really skinny girl with big boobs." I felt so good about myself. I had been warning him for months that after I give birth I wasn't going to let him see me naked for a long time. And for the first few days I didn't. But then I spent a day or two with the belly bandit on, and my loose stomach disappeared. After the first two days the medium bandit was way too big and I had to move over to the small one. Unfortunately they cost $70, and the medium was a bit of a waste of money. But hey, I was worried that it might be too SMALL at first! Who knew it would be too big almost right away? I highly recommend buying one!
I feel like the universe is trying to correct itself for giving me an incredibly painful pregnancy where nothing went as planned. I only had to push for 15 minutes (and not very hard), I got the cutest baby I've ever seen, and I lost double the amount of weight that I gained (so my clothes are too big) in only 9 days.
Thank you, Universe.
Well, apparently it's 9 months up, 9 DAYS down. At least for me.
9 days after giving birth I had lost 30lbs. Yeah. I gained 16, but lost 30. In 9 days. Without trying.
I'm now 11 days past giving birth and I haven't weighed myself again, so I don't actually know if I've lost anymore weight. But I am so surprised.
I'm even more surprised by the fact that my stomach is completely flat. It's not like I have firm muscles, but it's flat. And when I suck in, my stomach goes way in under my ribs. I'm just waiting for my stomach muscles to go back together before I start working on my core again, so my stomach can be firm.
The other day Justin said to me "You just look like this really skinny girl with big boobs." I felt so good about myself. I had been warning him for months that after I give birth I wasn't going to let him see me naked for a long time. And for the first few days I didn't. But then I spent a day or two with the belly bandit on, and my loose stomach disappeared. After the first two days the medium bandit was way too big and I had to move over to the small one. Unfortunately they cost $70, and the medium was a bit of a waste of money. But hey, I was worried that it might be too SMALL at first! Who knew it would be too big almost right away? I highly recommend buying one!
I feel like the universe is trying to correct itself for giving me an incredibly painful pregnancy where nothing went as planned. I only had to push for 15 minutes (and not very hard), I got the cutest baby I've ever seen, and I lost double the amount of weight that I gained (so my clothes are too big) in only 9 days.
Thank you, Universe.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Exhaustion and Disorientation
I am so incredibly exhausted that when I wake up in the night I am completely disoriented.
Last night I was sitting in bed staring at Noah in his bassinet and wondering where I was going to put the other Noah, since that Noah was already in the bassinet. I thought maybe I could move him over and then put the other Noah in there beside him. When I looked down at my lap to pick up the other Noah, he wasn't there, and it freaked me out. I thought I was nursing him.
I looked around the room and thought I saw him all bundled up on top of the diaper bag. I thought that was a really weird place for Justin to put him. So I went over there to pick him up, and it turned out to be my sling folded up. I went back over to the bed and sat there staring at Noah, wondering how I was going to nurse him when he was in the bassinet, and still wondering what I was going to do with the other babies.
It made no sense, and it was like this for several long minutes.
Also, when Noah woke up to nurse for the first time last night (about an hour to an hour and a half after I went to sleep) Justin happened to have just come into the room. I was almost crying talking to him about how tired I was and how I just want to sleep and not keep nursing every couple of hours. Like a good husband, he rubbed my feet and calves while I was nursing and I just leaned back and closed my eyes. But I really just wanted to cry.
And now, everytime I talk/write about how exhausted I am, I start crying. I almost started crying when Justin's parents were here today... for the second visit in 2 days, which was a bit too much for over-tired emotional me.
It doesn't help that my boobs really hurt at nighttime, and they prevent some sleep from taking place. I think I'm getting a few clogged milk ducts in my right boob. And I've had a massive headache all night.
I love being a mommy, but I really just need some sleep. It overwhelms me that I have no idea when relief will come.
It's a good thing my kid is like, model-baby cute. :)
Last night I was sitting in bed staring at Noah in his bassinet and wondering where I was going to put the other Noah, since that Noah was already in the bassinet. I thought maybe I could move him over and then put the other Noah in there beside him. When I looked down at my lap to pick up the other Noah, he wasn't there, and it freaked me out. I thought I was nursing him.
I looked around the room and thought I saw him all bundled up on top of the diaper bag. I thought that was a really weird place for Justin to put him. So I went over there to pick him up, and it turned out to be my sling folded up. I went back over to the bed and sat there staring at Noah, wondering how I was going to nurse him when he was in the bassinet, and still wondering what I was going to do with the other babies.
It made no sense, and it was like this for several long minutes.
Also, when Noah woke up to nurse for the first time last night (about an hour to an hour and a half after I went to sleep) Justin happened to have just come into the room. I was almost crying talking to him about how tired I was and how I just want to sleep and not keep nursing every couple of hours. Like a good husband, he rubbed my feet and calves while I was nursing and I just leaned back and closed my eyes. But I really just wanted to cry.
And now, everytime I talk/write about how exhausted I am, I start crying. I almost started crying when Justin's parents were here today... for the second visit in 2 days, which was a bit too much for over-tired emotional me.
It doesn't help that my boobs really hurt at nighttime, and they prevent some sleep from taking place. I think I'm getting a few clogged milk ducts in my right boob. And I've had a massive headache all night.
I love being a mommy, but I really just need some sleep. It overwhelms me that I have no idea when relief will come.
It's a good thing my kid is like, model-baby cute. :)
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Quick Thoughts From Day 6
Noah is 6 days old (sadness... I miss when he was 12 hours old!) and I wanted to post some quick updates and thoughts:
-My full milk supply came in within 48 hours after birth, and I spent Days 2-3 soooo engorged I finally broke down and pumped. The night beforehand the pain was soooo horrible. My breasts were literally like two 10 lbs bowling balls pulling on my skin. It hurt to move my arms, and it felt like I had rocks in my armpits. Meanwhile, Noah wouldn't eat as often because he was too full from the actual milk, so he wasn't hungry.
-Noah has the cutest "suspicious" expression where he wrinkles his brow and looks at us like "You've got to be kidding me." This expression was particularly hilarious when my milk came in and my boobs got HUGE, because he looked from my boob to my face, to my boob, to my face, as if to say "Um, that is not what I've been eating from for the past 2 days! You want me to get that in my mouth???"
-Noah loves to be swaddled, and we use our swaddlers constantly. He is so cute when he comes out of them when he's sleepy, because his arms and legs stay straight as boards:)
-Our first diaper change at home we were tag teaming it. As soon as I took the penis-protection off to get the new diaper on, a huge stream of pee shot up in the air, all over the change table, my hands, his adorable going home outfit... even the wall and the blinds! What a powerful little guy!
-8-10 diapers a day? Try 15-20! We went through 70 diapers in 4 days. 75% of the time he poops and/or pees in the middle of a change, often right onto a fresh diaper. Or onto the top of the old diaper (not so easy to clean).
-Noah poops at least 10 times a day. I don't think we have any risk of jaundice!
-I love his little squeaks and moans.
-I love how his sweet milk breath smells exactly like apples:)
-I love how when I burp him on my shoulder, he leans his head back with a round, open mouth, and he stares into my face. He often falls asleep like that, and it's so sweet.
-I love how I lost 25 lbs in 5 days. It's interesting, since I only gained 16 lbs with my pregnancy. My belly is almost completely flat too, and my stomach muscles are started to work again. When I suck in, my belly actually sucks in too! I highly recommend the belly bandit. Justin was saying to me how I just look like this skinny girl with really huge boobs. Not how I thought I'd look 6 days after delivery!
-My full milk supply came in within 48 hours after birth, and I spent Days 2-3 soooo engorged I finally broke down and pumped. The night beforehand the pain was soooo horrible. My breasts were literally like two 10 lbs bowling balls pulling on my skin. It hurt to move my arms, and it felt like I had rocks in my armpits. Meanwhile, Noah wouldn't eat as often because he was too full from the actual milk, so he wasn't hungry.
-Noah has the cutest "suspicious" expression where he wrinkles his brow and looks at us like "You've got to be kidding me." This expression was particularly hilarious when my milk came in and my boobs got HUGE, because he looked from my boob to my face, to my boob, to my face, as if to say "Um, that is not what I've been eating from for the past 2 days! You want me to get that in my mouth???"
-Noah loves to be swaddled, and we use our swaddlers constantly. He is so cute when he comes out of them when he's sleepy, because his arms and legs stay straight as boards:)
-Our first diaper change at home we were tag teaming it. As soon as I took the penis-protection off to get the new diaper on, a huge stream of pee shot up in the air, all over the change table, my hands, his adorable going home outfit... even the wall and the blinds! What a powerful little guy!
-8-10 diapers a day? Try 15-20! We went through 70 diapers in 4 days. 75% of the time he poops and/or pees in the middle of a change, often right onto a fresh diaper. Or onto the top of the old diaper (not so easy to clean).
-Noah poops at least 10 times a day. I don't think we have any risk of jaundice!
-I love his little squeaks and moans.
-I love how his sweet milk breath smells exactly like apples:)
-I love how when I burp him on my shoulder, he leans his head back with a round, open mouth, and he stares into my face. He often falls asleep like that, and it's so sweet.
-I love how I lost 25 lbs in 5 days. It's interesting, since I only gained 16 lbs with my pregnancy. My belly is almost completely flat too, and my stomach muscles are started to work again. When I suck in, my belly actually sucks in too! I highly recommend the belly bandit. Justin was saying to me how I just look like this skinny girl with really huge boobs. Not how I thought I'd look 6 days after delivery!
Birth Story
Not to be confused with birth plan, which was completely disregarded :)
Thursday morning at 6:30 we went in and got hooked up to the monitors for awhile. We were very excited - and I was very nervous! At about 7:15 they started my IV antibiotics and the pitocin. Some people take a long time of turning the dose up before their contractons start. Morning isn't usually my "contraction-y" time... if it had been evening they probably only would have done the starting dose. They only had to turn the dose up once before my body took over with regular contractions.
My OB came at 8:30 to break my water. He was teasing me about my birth plan (yeah right, that was so far gone at that point ) and he said "I have to do this now because the next time I see you you won't be in the mood" (He was right). He said I was only about 1 cm dilated and about 50% effaced (Noah kept floating into and out of the birth canal before this so my effacement was always changing).
The water breaking was quite the experience. Soooo much gushing, both at the time and for at least 2 hours afterward. The nurse would try to get me in underwear with a pad and I would soak right through it. She gave up and I just sat on tons of towels and waterproof pads that we kept changing for quite some time before we could get the underwear on.
After my OB broke my water the contractions almost immediately got stronger and I really had to concentrate to relax. By 10:30 I was in agony. I could not relax during contractions anymore, no matter what I did (and believe me, the nurse was impressed with my level of relaxation with the kind of contractions I had been having). I couldn't even relax between contractions anymore. I was shaking like crazy and really feeling like I couldn't do it.
I had been warned that if things get like that you should really consider medication because if you're in that much pain and that tense that you can't even relax between contractions, then you're going to have a very long labour because your cervix will take forever to dilate due to the tension.
I had Justin call the nurse, who checked me to see how much progress I had made. I was only 2 cm dilated and 75% effaced. In 2 hours of decently strong contractions I had only progessed 1 cm and 25% effacement. I was horrified. Plus, because I was only 2cm dilated she didn't want to give me the fentynol (IV pain pump). They usually wait until 3-4cm.
So I had to take the gas. It didn't work at all. I still couldn't relax, but now I felt high. And if there wasn't going to be any benefit, I didn't want it. So I stopped using it. I don't know how much time passed, because I was in too much pain to be aware, but I asked for something else, so she checked me again. I was only 2.5cm. I think by then it was around 11:30. I can't remember, because that's second hand information. I was unaware.
Even though I wasn't at 3, the nurse gave me the pain pump because I wasn't progressing because of my complete inability to relax.
It was amazing. I was suddenly able to relax between contractions, and the drugs slowed things down a bit so I had some longer breaks, and the contractions were a bit less intense for a little while. This went for about an hour I think, and then they really picked back up again. By 1:15 I was writhing in pain and unable to stop moaning. The contractions were RIGHT on top of each other with no break. I thought I had to be close.
The nurse checked me again (at 1:15), and I was only 5 cm dilated, but the baby was waaaay down low. I don't know what station, but he was way past the 0 station.
I could not believe I was only 5cm dilated with the contractions the way I'd been having them. I think I remember the nurse saying "It'll go fast from here" but my mind was so far gone from the worst pain I'd ever experienced.
They helped me onto my side, and I moaned "I'm so hot, I'm so hot." Justin got ice packs from his food cooler and was rubbing them over my arms and legs.
Right after I got on my side again the contractions changed. They were still beyond horrible, but now I was uncontrollably pushing with them. I told the nurse that I was pushing and that I couldn't help it. She was like "Yes, it's the pressure from the baby, it makes your bottom feel like you have to push." But for me it wasn't my bottom, it was literally my vagina. It didn't feel like the same push. But like I said, it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to not push. I was terrified, because I had just been checked and was only 5 cm, so I was so afraid that I was going to push Noah through a cervix that wasn't fully dilated and the entire thing would just rip open. I'd heard of the "urge to push," but I'd only heard one person talk about how she couldn't not push no matter how hard she tried. That was what it was like for me. I couldn't not push. It was beyond my control.
I had no idea how long I laid there on my side with constant (seriously, constant) contractions where I was pushing, but suddenly I felt this stretching pain and I was like "It hurts! I think I'm crowning!" The nurse said "Lauren, you need to roll over, I need to check you." But I couldn't. She and Justin rolled me over and the baby's head was right there. She had me bring my hand down to touch it.
Unbeknownst to me, it was only 1:39. I went from 5cm dilated at 1:15 to the baby's head right there at 1:39.
Things were flying around then. Another nurse came in and I remember her saying "I hope my patient goes this fast!" My OB wasn't there, obviously, because they hadn't had a chance to call him until my baby's head was almost out!
My head was all over the place and it was overwhelmingly scary. I couldn't concentrate on anything anyone was saying because of the insane amount of pain and pressure. And I felt like I had no idea what in the world I was doing. I remember a nurse saying "With each contraction you're going to give 3 good pushes." But I couldn't tell when I was contracting and when I wasn't. My contractions were way too close together, and the pressure was just too huge. So I just felt like I was sometimes pushing actively, sometimes pushing passively, not really sure if I was doing things at the right times or not. The nurses would slide their fingers around my vagina to try and stretch it and I was like "STOP IT!" It was just one more pain I didn't need. Of course, they didn't listen. lol. Who would?
My OB came in and I remember the nurses teasing him about something, to which he replied "Well I don't have time to change! Someone tie me up!" (Justin told me later that they were making fun of him because his dress pants were rolled up around his calves... I wish I could have seen that!)
He then said to me "So was this on page 4 of your birth plan, Lauren? Oh, right, no jokes." (I remembered the "no jokes" part, but Justin had to fill me in on the first part of what he said). I couldn't even look at him, much less respond. I probably looked insane.
So I'm pushing uncontrollably, and then my OB said "Lauren, I know this wasn't what you wanted but you're really stretching badly and if I cut you we can control what happens down there." At this point I'm wishing someone would just stick their hands inside of me and yank the baby out, so all I could do was moan "I DON'T CARE!"
And that is how I ended up with an episiotomy. Justin said they had been freezing me down there in anticipation of having to do one because I was stretching so much. He said that it semeed like the OB did try and wait, but that things really weren't going to stretch anymore.
The next thing I remember is my OB saying "Lauren, you're not having a contraction right now" (I honestly couldn't tell) "but if you just push gently his head will come out no problem." So I gave a push (I don't know how hard I pushed... I don't think it was very hard) and I felt his head slip out of me.
I have no idea how those shoulders came out because I don't remember pushing for them, but then it was the most glorious feeling of emptiness and liquid, and suddenly the pain and pressure were completely gone.
At 1:54 pm, my beautiful son, Noah Samuel James, was being held upside down in the air and crying. I was trying to grab him and kept telling them to give him to me. There were shenanigans with the cord (we wanted to wait until it stopped pulsating, but it had already gotten clamped, and then the clamp wasn't quite right...) that made it feel like a lot longer before I got to hold my baby. It was probably actually only 20 seconds!
As soon as they gave him to me I cuddled him into my neck and started rubbing him and talking to him and he stopped crying right away. It was the most amazing feeling to be holding my son. I can't even describe the joy I felt. I couldn't stop rubbing his tiny, waxy body and telling him how much I love him and kissing his head over and over.
I started nursing him right away and he latched on no problem and nursed for 2 wonderful hours. I finally had to pee so badly I couldn't wait anymore. We bundled him and gave him to his daddy for the first time (poor Justin waited 2 hours to hold his son!) and I got in the shower. I felt so weak in there with my hanging loose tummy. The nurse dried me off and got me dressed and back into bed, where I nursed for a little longer before getting in the wheelchair with Noah and being brought down to the maternity floor.
Just to recap, at 1:15 I was 5cm dilated. Right after that I started pushing uncontrollably while laying on my side, thinking I was still just dilating. At 1:39 I was checked and I was 10cm and the baby was almost out. At 1:54 he came out completely.
All in all I think I had a pretty good experience. It was excruciating during most of the 3 hours I was in really hard labour, but it went really fast at the end. And now our tiny little Bambino lives with us and we can cuddle him anytime we want:)
Thursday morning at 6:30 we went in and got hooked up to the monitors for awhile. We were very excited - and I was very nervous! At about 7:15 they started my IV antibiotics and the pitocin. Some people take a long time of turning the dose up before their contractons start. Morning isn't usually my "contraction-y" time... if it had been evening they probably only would have done the starting dose. They only had to turn the dose up once before my body took over with regular contractions.
My OB came at 8:30 to break my water. He was teasing me about my birth plan (yeah right, that was so far gone at that point ) and he said "I have to do this now because the next time I see you you won't be in the mood" (He was right). He said I was only about 1 cm dilated and about 50% effaced (Noah kept floating into and out of the birth canal before this so my effacement was always changing).
The water breaking was quite the experience. Soooo much gushing, both at the time and for at least 2 hours afterward. The nurse would try to get me in underwear with a pad and I would soak right through it. She gave up and I just sat on tons of towels and waterproof pads that we kept changing for quite some time before we could get the underwear on.
After my OB broke my water the contractions almost immediately got stronger and I really had to concentrate to relax. By 10:30 I was in agony. I could not relax during contractions anymore, no matter what I did (and believe me, the nurse was impressed with my level of relaxation with the kind of contractions I had been having). I couldn't even relax between contractions anymore. I was shaking like crazy and really feeling like I couldn't do it.
I had been warned that if things get like that you should really consider medication because if you're in that much pain and that tense that you can't even relax between contractions, then you're going to have a very long labour because your cervix will take forever to dilate due to the tension.
I had Justin call the nurse, who checked me to see how much progress I had made. I was only 2 cm dilated and 75% effaced. In 2 hours of decently strong contractions I had only progessed 1 cm and 25% effacement. I was horrified. Plus, because I was only 2cm dilated she didn't want to give me the fentynol (IV pain pump). They usually wait until 3-4cm.
So I had to take the gas. It didn't work at all. I still couldn't relax, but now I felt high. And if there wasn't going to be any benefit, I didn't want it. So I stopped using it. I don't know how much time passed, because I was in too much pain to be aware, but I asked for something else, so she checked me again. I was only 2.5cm. I think by then it was around 11:30. I can't remember, because that's second hand information. I was unaware.
Even though I wasn't at 3, the nurse gave me the pain pump because I wasn't progressing because of my complete inability to relax.
It was amazing. I was suddenly able to relax between contractions, and the drugs slowed things down a bit so I had some longer breaks, and the contractions were a bit less intense for a little while. This went for about an hour I think, and then they really picked back up again. By 1:15 I was writhing in pain and unable to stop moaning. The contractions were RIGHT on top of each other with no break. I thought I had to be close.
The nurse checked me again (at 1:15), and I was only 5 cm dilated, but the baby was waaaay down low. I don't know what station, but he was way past the 0 station.
I could not believe I was only 5cm dilated with the contractions the way I'd been having them. I think I remember the nurse saying "It'll go fast from here" but my mind was so far gone from the worst pain I'd ever experienced.
They helped me onto my side, and I moaned "I'm so hot, I'm so hot." Justin got ice packs from his food cooler and was rubbing them over my arms and legs.
Right after I got on my side again the contractions changed. They were still beyond horrible, but now I was uncontrollably pushing with them. I told the nurse that I was pushing and that I couldn't help it. She was like "Yes, it's the pressure from the baby, it makes your bottom feel like you have to push." But for me it wasn't my bottom, it was literally my vagina. It didn't feel like the same push. But like I said, it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to not push. I was terrified, because I had just been checked and was only 5 cm, so I was so afraid that I was going to push Noah through a cervix that wasn't fully dilated and the entire thing would just rip open. I'd heard of the "urge to push," but I'd only heard one person talk about how she couldn't not push no matter how hard she tried. That was what it was like for me. I couldn't not push. It was beyond my control.
I had no idea how long I laid there on my side with constant (seriously, constant) contractions where I was pushing, but suddenly I felt this stretching pain and I was like "It hurts! I think I'm crowning!" The nurse said "Lauren, you need to roll over, I need to check you." But I couldn't. She and Justin rolled me over and the baby's head was right there. She had me bring my hand down to touch it.
Unbeknownst to me, it was only 1:39. I went from 5cm dilated at 1:15 to the baby's head right there at 1:39.
Things were flying around then. Another nurse came in and I remember her saying "I hope my patient goes this fast!" My OB wasn't there, obviously, because they hadn't had a chance to call him until my baby's head was almost out!
My head was all over the place and it was overwhelmingly scary. I couldn't concentrate on anything anyone was saying because of the insane amount of pain and pressure. And I felt like I had no idea what in the world I was doing. I remember a nurse saying "With each contraction you're going to give 3 good pushes." But I couldn't tell when I was contracting and when I wasn't. My contractions were way too close together, and the pressure was just too huge. So I just felt like I was sometimes pushing actively, sometimes pushing passively, not really sure if I was doing things at the right times or not. The nurses would slide their fingers around my vagina to try and stretch it and I was like "STOP IT!" It was just one more pain I didn't need. Of course, they didn't listen. lol. Who would?
My OB came in and I remember the nurses teasing him about something, to which he replied "Well I don't have time to change! Someone tie me up!" (Justin told me later that they were making fun of him because his dress pants were rolled up around his calves... I wish I could have seen that!)
He then said to me "So was this on page 4 of your birth plan, Lauren? Oh, right, no jokes." (I remembered the "no jokes" part, but Justin had to fill me in on the first part of what he said). I couldn't even look at him, much less respond. I probably looked insane.
So I'm pushing uncontrollably, and then my OB said "Lauren, I know this wasn't what you wanted but you're really stretching badly and if I cut you we can control what happens down there." At this point I'm wishing someone would just stick their hands inside of me and yank the baby out, so all I could do was moan "I DON'T CARE!"
And that is how I ended up with an episiotomy. Justin said they had been freezing me down there in anticipation of having to do one because I was stretching so much. He said that it semeed like the OB did try and wait, but that things really weren't going to stretch anymore.
The next thing I remember is my OB saying "Lauren, you're not having a contraction right now" (I honestly couldn't tell) "but if you just push gently his head will come out no problem." So I gave a push (I don't know how hard I pushed... I don't think it was very hard) and I felt his head slip out of me.
I have no idea how those shoulders came out because I don't remember pushing for them, but then it was the most glorious feeling of emptiness and liquid, and suddenly the pain and pressure were completely gone.
At 1:54 pm, my beautiful son, Noah Samuel James, was being held upside down in the air and crying. I was trying to grab him and kept telling them to give him to me. There were shenanigans with the cord (we wanted to wait until it stopped pulsating, but it had already gotten clamped, and then the clamp wasn't quite right...) that made it feel like a lot longer before I got to hold my baby. It was probably actually only 20 seconds!
As soon as they gave him to me I cuddled him into my neck and started rubbing him and talking to him and he stopped crying right away. It was the most amazing feeling to be holding my son. I can't even describe the joy I felt. I couldn't stop rubbing his tiny, waxy body and telling him how much I love him and kissing his head over and over.
I started nursing him right away and he latched on no problem and nursed for 2 wonderful hours. I finally had to pee so badly I couldn't wait anymore. We bundled him and gave him to his daddy for the first time (poor Justin waited 2 hours to hold his son!) and I got in the shower. I felt so weak in there with my hanging loose tummy. The nurse dried me off and got me dressed and back into bed, where I nursed for a little longer before getting in the wheelchair with Noah and being brought down to the maternity floor.
Just to recap, at 1:15 I was 5cm dilated. Right after that I started pushing uncontrollably while laying on my side, thinking I was still just dilating. At 1:39 I was checked and I was 10cm and the baby was almost out. At 1:54 he came out completely.
All in all I think I had a pretty good experience. It was excruciating during most of the 3 hours I was in really hard labour, but it went really fast at the end. And now our tiny little Bambino lives with us and we can cuddle him anytime we want:)
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Our Little Boy!
Noah Samuel James
Born: March 18th, 2010, at 1:54pm
7 lbs. 12 oz.
21.5 inches long
Birth story to follow soon...
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
What I Will Miss... And Not So Much
Well, today is my last day being pregnant. In honour of that, I want to write about all of the best and worst things about my particular pregnancy - things that I will miss terribly, and things I am thrilled to say goodbye to.
Things I Will Miss:
-The knowledge that I am carrying my tiny son inside of me, and that I was able to grow him from one little egg into the full-grown baby he is now.
-Feeling his movements. My favourite movement is seeing an actual leg run across my belly. It's like a rod being passed under my skin. It looks and feels so amazing.
-Never really feeling bored or lonely no matter where I am, because the little munchkin is always moving around for his mommy.
-Not sleeping in the middle of the night, but having the baby keep me company with his movements.
-Having other people see you as special because you're growing a human being.
-Having a constant topic of conversation to talk to strangers and non-strangers about.
-Having other people do things for me, like get my food and drink or clean my house.
-Feeling the most beautiful I've ever felt, because my tight round belly has a baby inside of it. I've actually never felt more comfortable in my body.
-An OB appointment every week (this one might seem so strange, but it was a highlight for me. I was happy to finally see my OBGYN for obstetrical purposes, and every appointment made me feel closer to having a baby.)
Things I Will Not Miss
-Being in excruciating pain, for many reasons, 24/7.
-Having torn cartilage in my pubic bone (you can't imagine the pain until you've had it)
-Feeling like my back is literally broken
-Getting out of bed to pee every 45-60 minutes all night long
-The incredibly painful feat of actually getting out of bed, which makes me gasp and break out in a sweat everytime.
-Having to use crutches to get to the bathroom because I literally cannot walk on my own
-Not being able to sleep simply because of the pain
-Only having 2 positions to sleep in, which both make me feel as if I had sharp spikes digging into my hip bones
-Stabbing pains through my cervix
-The feeling of not being able to breathe
-Being kicked in the ribs
-Pitting edema
-Not being able to do things for myself, like getting food, drink, or cleaning my house (while it's nice to have others do things for you, it's not nice when they do them because you actually can't do them).
-Only sleeping 3-5 hours a night
-Not being able to find a single position to sit, lie, or stand in that doesn't hurt like heck
-Not being able to see my "womanhood"
-Not being able to shave my legs, not only because I can't reach them but because my pubic bone screams in pain when I try.
I am actually really sad to be finished being pregnant. I know that sounds ridiculous, because I've been in excruciating pain for 8 weeks now. But I wanted to be pregnant so badly, and it's about to be over. I'm not like other people who know they can get pregnant and experience that anytime they want. I'll miss having Bambino inside of me. I wish I didn't have to give up that part in order to have him on the outside. It's sad to come to the end of this, even though I feel like I've been pregnant for 2 years already and am so ready to meet my son!
Honestly, pretty much the only things I won't miss all have to do with pain. Besides the pain, I have adored being pregnant. It's been the most fulfilling experience of my entire life.
Bambino, your Mom and Dad already love you so much. We can't wait to meet you tomorrow and finally hold you in our arms. We have never wanted anything more than we want you. We are so thankful to have you!
PS> Please be easy on your Mommy tomorrow when you're coming out :)
Things I Will Miss:
-The knowledge that I am carrying my tiny son inside of me, and that I was able to grow him from one little egg into the full-grown baby he is now.
-Feeling his movements. My favourite movement is seeing an actual leg run across my belly. It's like a rod being passed under my skin. It looks and feels so amazing.
-Never really feeling bored or lonely no matter where I am, because the little munchkin is always moving around for his mommy.
-Not sleeping in the middle of the night, but having the baby keep me company with his movements.
-Having other people see you as special because you're growing a human being.
-Having a constant topic of conversation to talk to strangers and non-strangers about.
-Having other people do things for me, like get my food and drink or clean my house.
-Feeling the most beautiful I've ever felt, because my tight round belly has a baby inside of it. I've actually never felt more comfortable in my body.
-An OB appointment every week (this one might seem so strange, but it was a highlight for me. I was happy to finally see my OBGYN for obstetrical purposes, and every appointment made me feel closer to having a baby.)
Things I Will Not Miss
-Being in excruciating pain, for many reasons, 24/7.
-Having torn cartilage in my pubic bone (you can't imagine the pain until you've had it)
-Feeling like my back is literally broken
-Getting out of bed to pee every 45-60 minutes all night long
-The incredibly painful feat of actually getting out of bed, which makes me gasp and break out in a sweat everytime.
-Having to use crutches to get to the bathroom because I literally cannot walk on my own
-Not being able to sleep simply because of the pain
-Only having 2 positions to sleep in, which both make me feel as if I had sharp spikes digging into my hip bones
-Stabbing pains through my cervix
-The feeling of not being able to breathe
-Being kicked in the ribs
-Pitting edema
-Not being able to do things for myself, like getting food, drink, or cleaning my house (while it's nice to have others do things for you, it's not nice when they do them because you actually can't do them).
-Only sleeping 3-5 hours a night
-Not being able to find a single position to sit, lie, or stand in that doesn't hurt like heck
-Not being able to see my "womanhood"
-Not being able to shave my legs, not only because I can't reach them but because my pubic bone screams in pain when I try.
I am actually really sad to be finished being pregnant. I know that sounds ridiculous, because I've been in excruciating pain for 8 weeks now. But I wanted to be pregnant so badly, and it's about to be over. I'm not like other people who know they can get pregnant and experience that anytime they want. I'll miss having Bambino inside of me. I wish I didn't have to give up that part in order to have him on the outside. It's sad to come to the end of this, even though I feel like I've been pregnant for 2 years already and am so ready to meet my son!
Honestly, pretty much the only things I won't miss all have to do with pain. Besides the pain, I have adored being pregnant. It's been the most fulfilling experience of my entire life.
Bambino, your Mom and Dad already love you so much. We can't wait to meet you tomorrow and finally hold you in our arms. We have never wanted anything more than we want you. We are so thankful to have you!
PS> Please be easy on your Mommy tomorrow when you're coming out :)
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Big Day for Us
Well, I'm FINALLY home! Man it's been a long day!
My OB appointment went fine. My BP was 136/97, which kept our induction plans right on schedule. That might not look high to the average person, but it's actually the worst I've been. I've had way high top numbers, but it's the bottom number that OBs are most concerned with. I guess anything over 85 causes them to keep a closer eye. At my first appointment at 8 weeks my BP was 106/65. A bottom number of 97 is sky high for anyone, but especially for me! So 6:30am on Thursday we're going in for our induction. Eeek!:)
After our appointment we did errands. We had to exchange a car seat base Justin had bought on Sunday because they gave us a tan one instead of silver (even though they rang through a silver base). We had to exchange a blanket and outfit that we received as gifts, but already had. I had to pick up mail from my mailbox at work, and I had to cash my WSIB cheque.
We then went to my parents' house because my mom had returned and exchanged a bunch of shower presents for us, and we had to pick up the money and items. While we were there we started talking about how badly we need to buy a van. Right now we have a Kia Rio5 and a 4-door Jeep Wrangler. They're both relatively new (2009 and 2007), but neither of them fit a carseat well. In the Kia, nobody can really sit in the passenger's seat if the carseat is in there. Justin is 6'5" and can't fit in it at all, and when I'm in it my knees are pressed up against the dashboard and my head is basically hitting the ceiling from being so erect. Nobody can drive like that for more than a couple of minutes. In the Jeep there's a little more room, but I'm still sitting pretty far forward and I'm uncomfortably erect.
We knew this was the case back in December, so I had decided back then that we have to get a minivan. However, because the baby wasn't coming for months, I guess I just chose to ignore reality. Then about a week and a half ago we installed the carseat base in the Kia (since that's the car I drive the most) and when we put the carseat in I was reminded how HORRIBLE it fits and that we both can't drive in that car at the same time.
I had Justin go buy another base and install it in the Jeep, since there was a little more room in there. He also put the carseat in and has been driving around for a couple of days with it. Today was the first day I actually sat in the passenger's seat on the way into town, which is a 20-25 minute drive. I was immediately uncomfortable, and reaaaally annoyed at myself and Justin because we'd been procrastinating so much. Now our baby was coming in 2 days and we didn't have a car we could really drive in together. That's not really a problem that can be solved in 2 days.
I was also having these horrible thoughts about how I'd be all bruised and stitched and in pain and having to contort into an uncomfortable position in a VERY bouncy Jeep to drive 25 minutes home with the baby. And even if I could handle that (which I was going to have to), when in the heck were we supposed to find time to go buy a new car? I'm giving birth on Thursday, then Justin goes back to work, and besides that, we'll have a newborn! It would have been sometime in the summer before we were going to have time to car shop!
Besides this, we had been told that we should sell the Jeep privately rather than trade it in to a dealer, because we'd get more money for it privately than we would from a dealer. But the Jeep needs the windshield and spare tire replaced, we'd have to safety and e-test it, and neither of us has the first CLUE about how to sell a car and all the paperwork and logistics involved. And who has time, anyway?
So I'm talking to my mom about my discomfort in the Jeep and she was like "Why don't you guys just go look around at some dealerships and see what's out there so you have an idea?"
We had nothing else to do for the afternoon, so we decided to do that.
Long story short, we are now the proud owners of a minivan!
We managed to trade our Jeep in for a 2008 Dodge Caravan SE with only 15000 km on it (that's about 9000 miles). It's one of those minivans that looks more like an SUV than a minivan - not those cheesy "classic" looking minivans.
The carseat fits PERFECTLY, I can comfortably recline my seat, Justin can sit as far back as he wants, and we can fit four other people in the van along with us and Bambino! And the seats are stow and go, so they fold into the floor.
So we traded our Jeep for a van that's one year newer, has 21 000 less km, is way more comfortable, and has waaay more room. AND they gave us $128 because apparently the Jeep was worth a bit more than van. I didn't know that dealers would actually cut YOU a cheque if you traded in a car that was worth more than what you were buying. I figured you always had to trade up.
It's currently sitting in our driveway. That's how easy it was. It was basically signing some paperwork and trading keys. Amazing! No hassle whatsoever. And now we'll be super comfortable.
It was sad for us to trade in the Jeep because that was our first new car together. But it had to be done, and we're actually both thrilled with the situation - even Justin, who is in love with Jeeps and never thought he'd drive a minivan.
I'm so excited. Bambino on Thursday and a new car!
Oh, and I have been painfully contracting every 3-4 minutes ALL DAY LONG. With the amount of contractions I have, the baby should just be FALLING out of me. The fact that my cervix is not a gaping hole at this point makes me worried about how the induction will go.
My OB appointment went fine. My BP was 136/97, which kept our induction plans right on schedule. That might not look high to the average person, but it's actually the worst I've been. I've had way high top numbers, but it's the bottom number that OBs are most concerned with. I guess anything over 85 causes them to keep a closer eye. At my first appointment at 8 weeks my BP was 106/65. A bottom number of 97 is sky high for anyone, but especially for me! So 6:30am on Thursday we're going in for our induction. Eeek!:)
After our appointment we did errands. We had to exchange a car seat base Justin had bought on Sunday because they gave us a tan one instead of silver (even though they rang through a silver base). We had to exchange a blanket and outfit that we received as gifts, but already had. I had to pick up mail from my mailbox at work, and I had to cash my WSIB cheque.
We then went to my parents' house because my mom had returned and exchanged a bunch of shower presents for us, and we had to pick up the money and items. While we were there we started talking about how badly we need to buy a van. Right now we have a Kia Rio5 and a 4-door Jeep Wrangler. They're both relatively new (2009 and 2007), but neither of them fit a carseat well. In the Kia, nobody can really sit in the passenger's seat if the carseat is in there. Justin is 6'5" and can't fit in it at all, and when I'm in it my knees are pressed up against the dashboard and my head is basically hitting the ceiling from being so erect. Nobody can drive like that for more than a couple of minutes. In the Jeep there's a little more room, but I'm still sitting pretty far forward and I'm uncomfortably erect.
We knew this was the case back in December, so I had decided back then that we have to get a minivan. However, because the baby wasn't coming for months, I guess I just chose to ignore reality. Then about a week and a half ago we installed the carseat base in the Kia (since that's the car I drive the most) and when we put the carseat in I was reminded how HORRIBLE it fits and that we both can't drive in that car at the same time.
I had Justin go buy another base and install it in the Jeep, since there was a little more room in there. He also put the carseat in and has been driving around for a couple of days with it. Today was the first day I actually sat in the passenger's seat on the way into town, which is a 20-25 minute drive. I was immediately uncomfortable, and reaaaally annoyed at myself and Justin because we'd been procrastinating so much. Now our baby was coming in 2 days and we didn't have a car we could really drive in together. That's not really a problem that can be solved in 2 days.
I was also having these horrible thoughts about how I'd be all bruised and stitched and in pain and having to contort into an uncomfortable position in a VERY bouncy Jeep to drive 25 minutes home with the baby. And even if I could handle that (which I was going to have to), when in the heck were we supposed to find time to go buy a new car? I'm giving birth on Thursday, then Justin goes back to work, and besides that, we'll have a newborn! It would have been sometime in the summer before we were going to have time to car shop!
Besides this, we had been told that we should sell the Jeep privately rather than trade it in to a dealer, because we'd get more money for it privately than we would from a dealer. But the Jeep needs the windshield and spare tire replaced, we'd have to safety and e-test it, and neither of us has the first CLUE about how to sell a car and all the paperwork and logistics involved. And who has time, anyway?
So I'm talking to my mom about my discomfort in the Jeep and she was like "Why don't you guys just go look around at some dealerships and see what's out there so you have an idea?"
We had nothing else to do for the afternoon, so we decided to do that.
Long story short, we are now the proud owners of a minivan!
We managed to trade our Jeep in for a 2008 Dodge Caravan SE with only 15000 km on it (that's about 9000 miles). It's one of those minivans that looks more like an SUV than a minivan - not those cheesy "classic" looking minivans.
The carseat fits PERFECTLY, I can comfortably recline my seat, Justin can sit as far back as he wants, and we can fit four other people in the van along with us and Bambino! And the seats are stow and go, so they fold into the floor.
So we traded our Jeep for a van that's one year newer, has 21 000 less km, is way more comfortable, and has waaay more room. AND they gave us $128 because apparently the Jeep was worth a bit more than van. I didn't know that dealers would actually cut YOU a cheque if you traded in a car that was worth more than what you were buying. I figured you always had to trade up.
It's currently sitting in our driveway. That's how easy it was. It was basically signing some paperwork and trading keys. Amazing! No hassle whatsoever. And now we'll be super comfortable.
It was sad for us to trade in the Jeep because that was our first new car together. But it had to be done, and we're actually both thrilled with the situation - even Justin, who is in love with Jeeps and never thought he'd drive a minivan.
I'm so excited. Bambino on Thursday and a new car!
Oh, and I have been painfully contracting every 3-4 minutes ALL DAY LONG. With the amount of contractions I have, the baby should just be FALLING out of me. The fact that my cervix is not a gaping hole at this point makes me worried about how the induction will go.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Pregnancy and Pictures at 38 Weeks
How far along: 38 weeks
Total weight gain: 16 lbs since 8 weeks.
Stretch marks?: About the same as it was two weeks ago. There is one small stretch mark above my belly button that seems to want to slowly grow upward.
Sleep: 3-5 hours a night on average, and they're the most painful hours of my entire day.
Best moments this week: A visit from an old friend yesterday. She was in my bridal party, but I haven't seen her since we got married.
Food cravings: Junk food. I'm still rocking the Mars bars. My newer craving this past week was drumsticks (the ice cream cones, not chicken). And I seem to be thinking about the freezies we've had in our freezer since last summer more and more often.
Sex: Boy
Labor signs?: Last Sunday and Monday nights I had pretty painful contractions for several hours. My cervix is all ready to go. But the baby hasn't engaged, which bothers me. I'm hoping it's okay, since I'm being induced on Thursday.
New Symptoms: High bood pressure (around 160/90) and pitting edema. Also, my back has been hurting sooooooo bad for the past 2 weeks (on top of everything else). It's like something in my belly drastically changed, even though it doesn't look like it. And my 3 times a week chiropractor visits can't touch this pain.
Belly Button: Popped.
What I miss the most: Living pain free and sleeping decently. I've never been a good sleeper, but I've never been this bad of a sleeper!
What I am looking forward to the most: 1) Snuggling with our little Bambino. 2) Sleeping without pain. 3) Walking without pain. 4) Having the ability to do things on my own.
Milestones: 38 weeks is one week past full term. Also, it's Monday, and I'm supposed to be induced on Thursday. If that's not a milestone, I don't know what is!
Total weight gain: 16 lbs since 8 weeks.
Stretch marks?: About the same as it was two weeks ago. There is one small stretch mark above my belly button that seems to want to slowly grow upward.
Sleep: 3-5 hours a night on average, and they're the most painful hours of my entire day.
Best moments this week: A visit from an old friend yesterday. She was in my bridal party, but I haven't seen her since we got married.
Food cravings: Junk food. I'm still rocking the Mars bars. My newer craving this past week was drumsticks (the ice cream cones, not chicken). And I seem to be thinking about the freezies we've had in our freezer since last summer more and more often.
Sex: Boy
Labor signs?: Last Sunday and Monday nights I had pretty painful contractions for several hours. My cervix is all ready to go. But the baby hasn't engaged, which bothers me. I'm hoping it's okay, since I'm being induced on Thursday.
New Symptoms: High bood pressure (around 160/90) and pitting edema. Also, my back has been hurting sooooooo bad for the past 2 weeks (on top of everything else). It's like something in my belly drastically changed, even though it doesn't look like it. And my 3 times a week chiropractor visits can't touch this pain.
Belly Button: Popped.
What I miss the most: Living pain free and sleeping decently. I've never been a good sleeper, but I've never been this bad of a sleeper!
What I am looking forward to the most: 1) Snuggling with our little Bambino. 2) Sleeping without pain. 3) Walking without pain. 4) Having the ability to do things on my own.
Milestones: 38 weeks is one week past full term. Also, it's Monday, and I'm supposed to be induced on Thursday. If that's not a milestone, I don't know what is!
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Annoyance
Yesterday on facebook I said in my status that "Lauren is glad this baby is fully cooked, because my body is DONE. I've never been in so much constant and intense pain in so many different areas in my entire life."
I got some comments that annoyed me (like someone who thinks she's some sort of poet, writing "___ remembers that once the baby is in your arms the miracle of birth and joys of motherhood shall wipe these uncomfortable moments away....." ummm okaaaay), but one in particular put me over the edge. Someone said "Laughs... Every single woman in the world who has been through pregnancy knows exactly what you're talking about! Dont fret though, almost over!!"
Ummm, screw you. You have no idea what you're talking about.
I couldn't let it go, so I commented this:
"Lady, I'm going to have to disagree! I know plenty of pregnant people who were able to be active right up until the end, and just had some mild discomfort. Most people don't tear cartilage in their pelvis AND develop burcitis in both their hips (so that it feels like my hip bones have turned into sharp spikes digging into me) on TOP of the extreme back pain and all the other aches, pains, and discomforts! Most pregnant people can shift their bodies in bed without breaking out in a sweat from the excruciating pain. Most pregnant people can get out of bed without being forced to use crutches because they physically can't walk. And most pregnant people don't start dealing with all that at 30 weeks!
It's not really your average pregnant scenario. Just had to put that out there:)"
I don't know if that sounds bitchy, but I really tried my hardest to not make it sound how I feel. That smiley face? I so didn't want that to be there. I only put it so that the world wouldn't go "Whoa, Lauren! Simmer down."
They probably still will. Whatever.
I got some comments that annoyed me (like someone who thinks she's some sort of poet, writing "___ remembers that once the baby is in your arms the miracle of birth and joys of motherhood shall wipe these uncomfortable moments away....." ummm okaaaay), but one in particular put me over the edge. Someone said "Laughs... Every single woman in the world who has been through pregnancy knows exactly what you're talking about! Dont fret though, almost over!!"
Ummm, screw you. You have no idea what you're talking about.
I couldn't let it go, so I commented this:
"Lady, I'm going to have to disagree! I know plenty of pregnant people who were able to be active right up until the end, and just had some mild discomfort. Most people don't tear cartilage in their pelvis AND develop burcitis in both their hips (so that it feels like my hip bones have turned into sharp spikes digging into me) on TOP of the extreme back pain and all the other aches, pains, and discomforts! Most pregnant people can shift their bodies in bed without breaking out in a sweat from the excruciating pain. Most pregnant people can get out of bed without being forced to use crutches because they physically can't walk. And most pregnant people don't start dealing with all that at 30 weeks!
It's not really your average pregnant scenario. Just had to put that out there:)"
I don't know if that sounds bitchy, but I really tried my hardest to not make it sound how I feel. That smiley face? I so didn't want that to be there. I only put it so that the world wouldn't go "Whoa, Lauren! Simmer down."
They probably still will. Whatever.
Friday, March 12, 2010
March Break and Pitting Edema
Friday is almost over, which means we only have 5 days left until we're induced. If that doesn't get cancelled for some reason.
Justin is now on March break, but it barely feels like it. I've been on "vacation" for 7 1/2 weeks (otherwise yesterday would have been my last day of work, and today would have been my first official day of being off!), so it doesn't feel like March break to me. And Justin is so concentrated on having the baby that he's not thinking of all the normal break things he'd be doing, like sleeping in, playing video games, staying up late to watch movies, etc. He said today that he actually can't wait for the break to be over, because after it's done he'll be a dad! I thought that was cute:) But I'M not looking forward to the break being over. If things go according to plan we'll only have 2 or 3 days at home together and then he'll be leaving me and Bambino and going to work all day :(
Wow, that is so weird to think of. March break always flies by so quickly. And after this March break is over, our lives as we know them will be completely changed. Nothing will ever be the same.
I have decided that even if my blood pressure is normal at my Tuesday appointment, I'm not going to ask to cancel the induction. The past two days I've been experiencing pitting edema, which concerns me a bit when it's coupled with my high BP. Pitting edema is where your skin stays indented for a long time if you just apply some gentle pressure over your swelling. There's this section on my right leg that starts above my ankle and goes halfway up my calf that just swells up like that. I can push the swelling around and mold it like it's silly putty. It's pretty freaky!
Plus my normally skinny feet are swollen. A lot of pregnant women experience swelling, and my swelling doesn't nearly compare to some of the swelling I've seen on other people's blogs! But for my normally bony, skinny feet, it's out of the ordinary. I don't like that I'm swelling when all I do is sit around all day anyway.
Unless my OB cancels the induction (which I don't think he will), we'll have our baby next Thursday. CRAZY! I'm definitely getting excited. But I'm still a little scared!
Justin is now on March break, but it barely feels like it. I've been on "vacation" for 7 1/2 weeks (otherwise yesterday would have been my last day of work, and today would have been my first official day of being off!), so it doesn't feel like March break to me. And Justin is so concentrated on having the baby that he's not thinking of all the normal break things he'd be doing, like sleeping in, playing video games, staying up late to watch movies, etc. He said today that he actually can't wait for the break to be over, because after it's done he'll be a dad! I thought that was cute:) But I'M not looking forward to the break being over. If things go according to plan we'll only have 2 or 3 days at home together and then he'll be leaving me and Bambino and going to work all day :(
Wow, that is so weird to think of. March break always flies by so quickly. And after this March break is over, our lives as we know them will be completely changed. Nothing will ever be the same.
I have decided that even if my blood pressure is normal at my Tuesday appointment, I'm not going to ask to cancel the induction. The past two days I've been experiencing pitting edema, which concerns me a bit when it's coupled with my high BP. Pitting edema is where your skin stays indented for a long time if you just apply some gentle pressure over your swelling. There's this section on my right leg that starts above my ankle and goes halfway up my calf that just swells up like that. I can push the swelling around and mold it like it's silly putty. It's pretty freaky!
Plus my normally skinny feet are swollen. A lot of pregnant women experience swelling, and my swelling doesn't nearly compare to some of the swelling I've seen on other people's blogs! But for my normally bony, skinny feet, it's out of the ordinary. I don't like that I'm swelling when all I do is sit around all day anyway.
Unless my OB cancels the induction (which I don't think he will), we'll have our baby next Thursday. CRAZY! I'm definitely getting excited. But I'm still a little scared!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
37.5 Week OB Appointment = Eventful
My blood pressure today was 160/90. Not good. Since this was the second week in a row, my laissez-faire OB wasn't thrilled about it either. He asked me if I've been having any contractions, so I told him about the painful contractions I've had the past 3 nights. Surprisingly, he wanted to check my cervix after that. He normally doesn't do cervix checks until 38 weeks, but between the blood pressure and the contractions he wanted to see what was up down there. Nothing too major, just partially effaced and dilated. The baby is head down (like we knew), but he's not locked in position. Which explains why he drops down really low at night, and then overnight he pops back up again. You can still feel his head in the morning, but it's way higher up. It's been like this for weeks. He just won't engage.
He wanted me to come in again on Thursday. I said, "Tomorrow?" and he said "Today is Wednesday? What are you doing here on a Wednesday??" He usually sees his very pregnant patients on Tuesdays - I guess for this reason - but Wednesday was more convenient for me.
Since Thursday is tomorrow he decided just to see me on Tuesday, like normal, because he doesn't see patients on Friday and Monday. He does surgeries and stuff.
However, he did decide he wants to induce me, and he booked an induction for next Thursday. Since my cervix is ready for induction, and my BP is high, he doesn't want me walking around for so long with high blood pressure. But he also wants to give the baby as long as possible inside of me, so he didn't book it until Thursday. If I had protein in my urine and was gaining a lot of weight and swelling up, he would have booked it sooner. Or if I was walking around 3 cm dilated he would have booked it sooner, because there's no point in letting me walk around with high blood pressure when I'm that close to delivery.
I asked him what happens if my BP is normal at my Tuesday appointment, and he said we'll just deal with it then (and then teased me for being such a teacher and always having to have a plan for everything). But somehow I don't think this induction is getting cancelled. Unless my BP is normal and I decide I want it cancelled. Otherwise he'll just keep it.
So, Thursday March 18th might be our baby's birthday. 11 days early.
Induction was not in my plans, and basically throws the rest of my birth plan out the window (you know, the parts that weren't already thrown out the window by being GBS+ and not getting a midwife). I'm trying to adjust my expectations and get excited (despite the incredibly different birth than what I wanted)! The baby is coming in a week!
Justin is pretty pumped. But he's not the one who has to go through the tougher induced labour. I'm glad he's excited, though. It'll rub off on me, I'm sure. The news just hasn't quite sunk in:)
He wanted me to come in again on Thursday. I said, "Tomorrow?" and he said "Today is Wednesday? What are you doing here on a Wednesday??" He usually sees his very pregnant patients on Tuesdays - I guess for this reason - but Wednesday was more convenient for me.
Since Thursday is tomorrow he decided just to see me on Tuesday, like normal, because he doesn't see patients on Friday and Monday. He does surgeries and stuff.
However, he did decide he wants to induce me, and he booked an induction for next Thursday. Since my cervix is ready for induction, and my BP is high, he doesn't want me walking around for so long with high blood pressure. But he also wants to give the baby as long as possible inside of me, so he didn't book it until Thursday. If I had protein in my urine and was gaining a lot of weight and swelling up, he would have booked it sooner. Or if I was walking around 3 cm dilated he would have booked it sooner, because there's no point in letting me walk around with high blood pressure when I'm that close to delivery.
I asked him what happens if my BP is normal at my Tuesday appointment, and he said we'll just deal with it then (and then teased me for being such a teacher and always having to have a plan for everything). But somehow I don't think this induction is getting cancelled. Unless my BP is normal and I decide I want it cancelled. Otherwise he'll just keep it.
So, Thursday March 18th might be our baby's birthday. 11 days early.
Induction was not in my plans, and basically throws the rest of my birth plan out the window (you know, the parts that weren't already thrown out the window by being GBS+ and not getting a midwife). I'm trying to adjust my expectations and get excited (despite the incredibly different birth than what I wanted)! The baby is coming in a week!
Justin is pretty pumped. But he's not the one who has to go through the tougher induced labour. I'm glad he's excited, though. It'll rub off on me, I'm sure. The news just hasn't quite sunk in:)
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Day 2 - These Better Be Doing SOMETHING!
Last night after DH and I had sex again, the exact same thing happened with the painful contractions. They were hurting sooo bad for hours. It made me start to freak out a bit more about the pain of actual labour.
Apparently there are 3 emotional stages of labour: excitement, seriousness, and self-doubt. The emotional stages correspond to where you actually are in your labour. Excitement is early labour when things aren't so bad and you're talking and smiling; seriousness is when you're in active labour and can't talk through your contractions and bite people's heads off when they breathe wrong; and self-doubt is when you're really close to pushing and you start to think that you can't do it anymore.
Well, last night I was definitely in the serious stage. I couldn't talk through the contractions, and I wanted to punch Justin. We were on the bed and I was lying on my side and at one point he kept moving his feet around, which made the bed move slightly, and every slight movement made the contraction hurt more. Then everytime he got up and would come back to the bed he would just plop down and make the bed jostle a LOT. After the second or third time, after my contraction was over, I snapped at him and told him if he can't be considerate of me NOW, I don't want him in the labour room and I'll get my mom to come in instead. And I really meant it at the time!
Plus I was really annoyed because I was in a lot of pain, but I was doing everything I'd learned to do from our birthing method - fully relax every part of your body, don't even tense up your face, close your eyes, breathe normally through your stomach... the point is to look like you're asleep. You're not supposed to look or act like you're in pain because it makes the pain worse. So that's what I was doing. Justin was supposed to be doing certain things too. I mean, this is PERFECT practice for real labour: I was in real pain and was having contractions right on top of each other! But he was just fidgeting beside me, moving the bed around and causing me more pain, ignoring me, and watching TV.
I didn't think I would have to be so specific with him after we read the books and I made him an instruction sheet and everything. I really don't have time to give him direct instruction when I only have a minute break between contractions.
Men.
(My husband is a very wonderful person, and is usually very helpful and sweet. I don't want you to think that he is a neglectful, self-absorbed person! I don't know what was up last night.)
Apparently there are 3 emotional stages of labour: excitement, seriousness, and self-doubt. The emotional stages correspond to where you actually are in your labour. Excitement is early labour when things aren't so bad and you're talking and smiling; seriousness is when you're in active labour and can't talk through your contractions and bite people's heads off when they breathe wrong; and self-doubt is when you're really close to pushing and you start to think that you can't do it anymore.
Well, last night I was definitely in the serious stage. I couldn't talk through the contractions, and I wanted to punch Justin. We were on the bed and I was lying on my side and at one point he kept moving his feet around, which made the bed move slightly, and every slight movement made the contraction hurt more. Then everytime he got up and would come back to the bed he would just plop down and make the bed jostle a LOT. After the second or third time, after my contraction was over, I snapped at him and told him if he can't be considerate of me NOW, I don't want him in the labour room and I'll get my mom to come in instead. And I really meant it at the time!
Plus I was really annoyed because I was in a lot of pain, but I was doing everything I'd learned to do from our birthing method - fully relax every part of your body, don't even tense up your face, close your eyes, breathe normally through your stomach... the point is to look like you're asleep. You're not supposed to look or act like you're in pain because it makes the pain worse. So that's what I was doing. Justin was supposed to be doing certain things too. I mean, this is PERFECT practice for real labour: I was in real pain and was having contractions right on top of each other! But he was just fidgeting beside me, moving the bed around and causing me more pain, ignoring me, and watching TV.
I didn't think I would have to be so specific with him after we read the books and I made him an instruction sheet and everything. I really don't have time to give him direct instruction when I only have a minute break between contractions.
Men.
(My husband is a very wonderful person, and is usually very helpful and sweet. I don't want you to think that he is a neglectful, self-absorbed person! I don't know what was up last night.)
Monday, March 8, 2010
37 Weeks!!!
I am officially full-term! Bambino may come anytime he wants, because his mom is in excruciating pain. If I wasn't, I actually think I'd be really patient at this point.
In the past week (or maybe a little more) my back has gotten sooo bad. I had a really bad back in the first trimester, and part of the second. But I've been seeing my chiropractor regularly for 3 1/2 months, and for the past 7 weeks I've been seeing him 3 times a week, so my back hasn't really been hurting much. Until now. Something drastically changed with my belly. I don't know what it is, but my back is just terrible. So not only do I have horrible pain in my hips and pubic bone, but now my back pain is horrible too. (At least this is something that happens to almost every pregnancy woman, unlike the burcitis and the torn cartilage in the pubic bone).
I was at the chiropractor on Friday and he said to me (again) "Hang in there, you only have a week left!" (Remember, he's convinced that I'm going to go this week, sometime before the 14th.) I said to him (again) "Yeah, according to you. I don't think I'll be going next week." He replied that next week (now this week) he's going to use a technique he hasn't used with me before called the Webster Technique. This technique is apparently used (very successfully) to turn breech babies (works over 80% of the time) and to bring on labour. I think it can only bring on labour because it gets the baby in the most optimal position, so if your body is ready to go, the baby getting into that perfect position can make you go into labour. In that way it's like any other natural induction technique... it would only work if your body is ready for it to work.
As soon as he said that I said "DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!" in almost a threatening sort of way. He said no, we'll do it next week and I replied "DO IT NOW!!! I'm a couple of days from full-term and I am in SO much pain, just get it started now!!" He wouldn't give in. He just said he'd do it at every visit next week.
So today will be the first time... we'll see how it goes.
In the meantime, I'm doing everything I can to get this show on the road. I'd be jogging the block if it was physically possible for me to do so. I bounce on the birthing ball, I massage the right accupressure points, and last night Justin and I had sex. Interestingly, immediately following the sex I had the most frequent, regular, and painful contractions I have ever had.
If you follow my blog you know that I'm a huge recipient of Braxton Hicks. I get 50-100 of them everyday. And everyday I have a few hours where they come like clockwork. Sometimes every 2-3 minutes, sometimes every 4-5 minutes, depending on the day, but still totally regularly.
Last night they were all at least 60 seconds long, one on top of the other (I maybe had a one minute break between contractions) and they hurt! Whenever I have contractions I relax my whole body and breathe through them, so they don't hurt. Normally they only hurt if I'm forced to be walking around during them. But last night I was completely relaxing and breathing through them and they actually hurt pretty bad! I know they weren't hurting as much as they will when I'm in real active labour, but they were painful enough, long enough, close together enough, and went on for long enough that I was starting to wonder if I might actually be going into labour. They were bad enough that I had Justin going from room to room fetching everything I needed to pack the baby's diaper bag with (this was one of the last things on my to-do list... I wanted to get Bambino's stuff out of my hospital bag and into his own).
After a couple of hours they didn't hurt so much anymore, and I was able to fall asleep. I was still contracting regularly all night long, just not painfully. I had to pee every 45 minutes (not kidding, I didn't make it a whole hour once the entire night), and everytime I got up to pee I had at least 4 contractions before I was able to fall asleep again.
And once again I woke up stupid early and was unable to fall back asleep. It was 4:30 this morning, which is actually kind of late for me.
Regardless, I'm going to take a nap now. Or try, anyway.
In the past week (or maybe a little more) my back has gotten sooo bad. I had a really bad back in the first trimester, and part of the second. But I've been seeing my chiropractor regularly for 3 1/2 months, and for the past 7 weeks I've been seeing him 3 times a week, so my back hasn't really been hurting much. Until now. Something drastically changed with my belly. I don't know what it is, but my back is just terrible. So not only do I have horrible pain in my hips and pubic bone, but now my back pain is horrible too. (At least this is something that happens to almost every pregnancy woman, unlike the burcitis and the torn cartilage in the pubic bone).
I was at the chiropractor on Friday and he said to me (again) "Hang in there, you only have a week left!" (Remember, he's convinced that I'm going to go this week, sometime before the 14th.) I said to him (again) "Yeah, according to you. I don't think I'll be going next week." He replied that next week (now this week) he's going to use a technique he hasn't used with me before called the Webster Technique. This technique is apparently used (very successfully) to turn breech babies (works over 80% of the time) and to bring on labour. I think it can only bring on labour because it gets the baby in the most optimal position, so if your body is ready to go, the baby getting into that perfect position can make you go into labour. In that way it's like any other natural induction technique... it would only work if your body is ready for it to work.
As soon as he said that I said "DO IT NOW!!!!!!!!!" in almost a threatening sort of way. He said no, we'll do it next week and I replied "DO IT NOW!!! I'm a couple of days from full-term and I am in SO much pain, just get it started now!!" He wouldn't give in. He just said he'd do it at every visit next week.
So today will be the first time... we'll see how it goes.
In the meantime, I'm doing everything I can to get this show on the road. I'd be jogging the block if it was physically possible for me to do so. I bounce on the birthing ball, I massage the right accupressure points, and last night Justin and I had sex. Interestingly, immediately following the sex I had the most frequent, regular, and painful contractions I have ever had.
If you follow my blog you know that I'm a huge recipient of Braxton Hicks. I get 50-100 of them everyday. And everyday I have a few hours where they come like clockwork. Sometimes every 2-3 minutes, sometimes every 4-5 minutes, depending on the day, but still totally regularly.
Last night they were all at least 60 seconds long, one on top of the other (I maybe had a one minute break between contractions) and they hurt! Whenever I have contractions I relax my whole body and breathe through them, so they don't hurt. Normally they only hurt if I'm forced to be walking around during them. But last night I was completely relaxing and breathing through them and they actually hurt pretty bad! I know they weren't hurting as much as they will when I'm in real active labour, but they were painful enough, long enough, close together enough, and went on for long enough that I was starting to wonder if I might actually be going into labour. They were bad enough that I had Justin going from room to room fetching everything I needed to pack the baby's diaper bag with (this was one of the last things on my to-do list... I wanted to get Bambino's stuff out of my hospital bag and into his own).
After a couple of hours they didn't hurt so much anymore, and I was able to fall asleep. I was still contracting regularly all night long, just not painfully. I had to pee every 45 minutes (not kidding, I didn't make it a whole hour once the entire night), and everytime I got up to pee I had at least 4 contractions before I was able to fall asleep again.
And once again I woke up stupid early and was unable to fall back asleep. It was 4:30 this morning, which is actually kind of late for me.
Regardless, I'm going to take a nap now. Or try, anyway.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Hormones = Insanity
I've been trying not to write this post, because I didn't want to put this out there. But I feel like I'm about to explode so I HAVE to say something. As a disclaimer, I would like to say that I'm aware it must be purely late-stage pregnancy hormones making me this insane.
SOMEONE (who will remain nameless) is driving me CRAZY!!!!!!!!!
To start, a week or two ago we were having a conversation about us needing our carseat cover before the baby comes. She started telling me about those "bundle" things (they come in various brands) that are like a big sleeping bag that you put in the carseat. I told her that we don't want one of those. They cost at least $70, and our baby is due at the end of March and would most likely be too big for it next winter, so we'd get about 2 weeks out of it. It's just not worth the price.
She completely ignored my totally legitimate reasons for not getting one and went on and on about how all her younger cousins have this "bundle-me" and they just LOVE it and it's just sooo awesome because you don't even need to wrap the baby in any blankets or put any extra clothes on it because the bundle me is just soooo warm and wonderful!
I restated my arguments. She once again ignored them.
THEN, my husband went there on Wednesday night to pick up a gift that included our carseat cover. The next morning I opened it and was remarking to him that it was much thinner than I thought it was. He, out of nowhere, says "Isn't there like a sleeping bag type thing that you can put the baby in in the carseat?"
ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME?!?! Obviously he doesn't know about these things on his own, so I said "Did you get that idea from _____?" Justin replied "Yeah, she was talking about it last night."
So she completely disregarded every legitimate reason I have for not wanting to spend a ton of money on a stupid bundle bag thing and tried to go over my head to my husband to make HIM want to buy one. FOR PETE'S SAKE, it's my dang decision whether I spend almost a hundred dollars on something for MY child's carseat!
This may not seem like anything to some of you, but it is how she repeatedly works. She gets this idea in her head and it doesn't matter if it's MY life and MY decision, she tries to go past me to make what SHE would do happen.
It happened repeatedly when we bought our house. For example, she thought we should buy stainless steel appliances. We were planning on having kids right away and all I had ever heard about kids and stainless steel was awful, because of fingerprints allll over everything. Plus stainless steel was more expensive. So we were looking into white. It didn't matter to her that it was our house and our money and our decision, she tried everything to get us to buy stainless steel. It got to the point that when she brought it up one time I actually left the room. You know what? If you want stainless steel appliances that badly, GO BUY THEM! Don't try to force your style and opinions on us!
I was well aware that stainless looks way better than white, but the fact that she was trying so hard to force it on us pissed me off so much that I didn't want stainless just because SHE wanted us to get stainless.
We ended up getting stainless. And it killed me.
Another example from when we were buying the house. Right off our kitchen is a hallway leading to some of the bedrooms and one of the bathrooms. There is also a closet in that hallway. We hadn't moved in yet, so I didn't know how everything would fit, and I was thinking we would use that closet as a linen closet because we had so much cupboard space I figured all our food would fit in the cupboards, but we didn't HAVE a linen closet (except the closet in the bathroom, which only fits towels and toiletries).
SOMEONE thought that closet should be a pantry. I said "I think we're going to use it as a linen closet." It's our house, it's our decision. End of discussion, right?
Wrong. She proceeded to say to everyone over and over "This is a pantry, right? Not a linen closet." WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, WOMAN??? Why can't you just let us make our own decisions and not try to force your will in every situation?!?!
That closet is now half linen closet, half pantry. We have sooo many dishes and appliances that they took up most of our cupboard space, and we had to use a couple of the shelves for food. But man, one day I'd like to rearrange things and move the food from that closet into the cupboards and just have LINENS in that closet!
....
Back to the present day
The other day she called to give me some addresses of people for thank you notes. She asked me if I had a pen nearby. I said no. She asked me if I could get one. I said no, I try not to get up unless I have to, so could she please send me the addresses on facebook for something? She said "Oh, maybe I'll just email them to you. I don't really trust facebook." Ummmm... okay crazy. It's not like I asked you to post the addresses on my friggin wall! Plus, even if you did, what's the worst that will happen? People who I know will see the address of someone - someone who they possibly ALSO know. GASP!! Think of all the horrible things that could happen! She never did email me those addresses.
Then last night she called. As a quick background, this person is someone who is never doing "good." If you ask her how it's going she's say something like "it's going..." or "oh... you know..." ALWAYS. She can never say that things are going well.
So last night she asked me how I was doing. I said "I'm okay." She answers with, "Just okay???" as if she cannot believe that I wouldn't reply with "I'm doing GREAT! Thanks for asking!"
Um, yes, lady, I'm JUST OKAY. I'm 37 weeks pregnant, uncomfortable as heck, and in excruciating pain from an injury I've been dealing with for 6 1/2 weeks and is only getting worse. I just found out I'm GBS+ so I have to be on an IV during labour, and my blood pressure is through the roof. Do I not have the right to be "JUST OKAY"? (Of course, I didn't say any of this).
Then our whole conversation is filled with her giving me pat responses like "Well, now we wait," and "This too shall pass," and bunch of other ones that made me want to throw the phone through a window.
She goes on to tell me, for the millionth time, that she wants the baby to come during March break. She has told this to me and to EVERYONE who will listen. Because she's a teacher, so she's off during March break. And then SHE can come see the baby and "help out" (read: hold the baby so that I can do chores) whenever she wants.
Well, you know what? My baby is not a boiled egg. He will be ready when he is ready, and he'll come when he comes, not when it's convenient for you. Besides, I don't want you over at our house everyday. If he comes during March break it will be nice because HIS FATHER is a teacher and HIS FATHER will be off work and HIS FATHER can help out and bond with him and get to know him. But of course, those aren't her reasons for wanting him to come during March break.
I'm so sick of hearing about when it will be convenient for her for me to have the baby that I almost don't want to baby to come during March break. I want the baby to come when it's INCONVENIENT for her. Like, if they go out of town for a weekend.
Then I remind myself that it would be nice for the baby to be born when Justin is home for a week. And that I can just tell him to tell her to back off.
I told her not to count on him coming during March break and she sounded sooooooo disappointed. It was absolutely ridiculous. Why she would even THINK that would happen is beyond me. He'd be 2 weeks early! Why would she count on that?
This is the longest post I think I've ever written. If you read this long, thank you. It was cathartic. But I'm still annoyed.
SOMEONE (who will remain nameless) is driving me CRAZY!!!!!!!!!
To start, a week or two ago we were having a conversation about us needing our carseat cover before the baby comes. She started telling me about those "bundle" things (they come in various brands) that are like a big sleeping bag that you put in the carseat. I told her that we don't want one of those. They cost at least $70, and our baby is due at the end of March and would most likely be too big for it next winter, so we'd get about 2 weeks out of it. It's just not worth the price.
She completely ignored my totally legitimate reasons for not getting one and went on and on about how all her younger cousins have this "bundle-me" and they just LOVE it and it's just sooo awesome because you don't even need to wrap the baby in any blankets or put any extra clothes on it because the bundle me is just soooo warm and wonderful!
I restated my arguments. She once again ignored them.
THEN, my husband went there on Wednesday night to pick up a gift that included our carseat cover. The next morning I opened it and was remarking to him that it was much thinner than I thought it was. He, out of nowhere, says "Isn't there like a sleeping bag type thing that you can put the baby in in the carseat?"
ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME?!?! Obviously he doesn't know about these things on his own, so I said "Did you get that idea from _____?" Justin replied "Yeah, she was talking about it last night."
So she completely disregarded every legitimate reason I have for not wanting to spend a ton of money on a stupid bundle bag thing and tried to go over my head to my husband to make HIM want to buy one. FOR PETE'S SAKE, it's my dang decision whether I spend almost a hundred dollars on something for MY child's carseat!
This may not seem like anything to some of you, but it is how she repeatedly works. She gets this idea in her head and it doesn't matter if it's MY life and MY decision, she tries to go past me to make what SHE would do happen.
It happened repeatedly when we bought our house. For example, she thought we should buy stainless steel appliances. We were planning on having kids right away and all I had ever heard about kids and stainless steel was awful, because of fingerprints allll over everything. Plus stainless steel was more expensive. So we were looking into white. It didn't matter to her that it was our house and our money and our decision, she tried everything to get us to buy stainless steel. It got to the point that when she brought it up one time I actually left the room. You know what? If you want stainless steel appliances that badly, GO BUY THEM! Don't try to force your style and opinions on us!
I was well aware that stainless looks way better than white, but the fact that she was trying so hard to force it on us pissed me off so much that I didn't want stainless just because SHE wanted us to get stainless.
We ended up getting stainless. And it killed me.
Another example from when we were buying the house. Right off our kitchen is a hallway leading to some of the bedrooms and one of the bathrooms. There is also a closet in that hallway. We hadn't moved in yet, so I didn't know how everything would fit, and I was thinking we would use that closet as a linen closet because we had so much cupboard space I figured all our food would fit in the cupboards, but we didn't HAVE a linen closet (except the closet in the bathroom, which only fits towels and toiletries).
SOMEONE thought that closet should be a pantry. I said "I think we're going to use it as a linen closet." It's our house, it's our decision. End of discussion, right?
Wrong. She proceeded to say to everyone over and over "This is a pantry, right? Not a linen closet." WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, WOMAN??? Why can't you just let us make our own decisions and not try to force your will in every situation?!?!
That closet is now half linen closet, half pantry. We have sooo many dishes and appliances that they took up most of our cupboard space, and we had to use a couple of the shelves for food. But man, one day I'd like to rearrange things and move the food from that closet into the cupboards and just have LINENS in that closet!
....
Back to the present day
The other day she called to give me some addresses of people for thank you notes. She asked me if I had a pen nearby. I said no. She asked me if I could get one. I said no, I try not to get up unless I have to, so could she please send me the addresses on facebook for something? She said "Oh, maybe I'll just email them to you. I don't really trust facebook." Ummmm... okay crazy. It's not like I asked you to post the addresses on my friggin wall! Plus, even if you did, what's the worst that will happen? People who I know will see the address of someone - someone who they possibly ALSO know. GASP!! Think of all the horrible things that could happen! She never did email me those addresses.
Then last night she called. As a quick background, this person is someone who is never doing "good." If you ask her how it's going she's say something like "it's going..." or "oh... you know..." ALWAYS. She can never say that things are going well.
So last night she asked me how I was doing. I said "I'm okay." She answers with, "Just okay???" as if she cannot believe that I wouldn't reply with "I'm doing GREAT! Thanks for asking!"
Um, yes, lady, I'm JUST OKAY. I'm 37 weeks pregnant, uncomfortable as heck, and in excruciating pain from an injury I've been dealing with for 6 1/2 weeks and is only getting worse. I just found out I'm GBS+ so I have to be on an IV during labour, and my blood pressure is through the roof. Do I not have the right to be "JUST OKAY"? (Of course, I didn't say any of this).
Then our whole conversation is filled with her giving me pat responses like "Well, now we wait," and "This too shall pass," and bunch of other ones that made me want to throw the phone through a window.
She goes on to tell me, for the millionth time, that she wants the baby to come during March break. She has told this to me and to EVERYONE who will listen. Because she's a teacher, so she's off during March break. And then SHE can come see the baby and "help out" (read: hold the baby so that I can do chores) whenever she wants.
Well, you know what? My baby is not a boiled egg. He will be ready when he is ready, and he'll come when he comes, not when it's convenient for you. Besides, I don't want you over at our house everyday. If he comes during March break it will be nice because HIS FATHER is a teacher and HIS FATHER will be off work and HIS FATHER can help out and bond with him and get to know him. But of course, those aren't her reasons for wanting him to come during March break.
I'm so sick of hearing about when it will be convenient for her for me to have the baby that I almost don't want to baby to come during March break. I want the baby to come when it's INCONVENIENT for her. Like, if they go out of town for a weekend.
Then I remind myself that it would be nice for the baby to be born when Justin is home for a week. And that I can just tell him to tell her to back off.
I told her not to count on him coming during March break and she sounded sooooooo disappointed. It was absolutely ridiculous. Why she would even THINK that would happen is beyond me. He'd be 2 weeks early! Why would she count on that?
This is the longest post I think I've ever written. If you read this long, thank you. It was cathartic. But I'm still annoyed.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Random Thoughts
-Last night I was having so many non stop contractions that after about an hour I decided to time them. They were all 60-90 seconds and 2-3 minutes apart. I timed them for an hour, and then got really sick of doing it and stopped (the contractions did not). In that hour I had 18 contractions. It's like this for me almost everyday. I sometimes wonder if I'll even be able to recognize labour when it comes.
-Today is one of my two "don't-leave-the-house" days this week. I normally only get one of those, but this week I got two. I usually like these days, but I'm not sure how I feel about this particular one. I like when my "don't-leave-the-house" day is on a Monday. It makes the week seem shorter somehow.
-I'm done all the thank you notes from my baby showers. This is amazing! I am usually horrible with making myself sit down and write thank you notes, but I got about 50 of them done in a week and a half. Tomorrow I'll go to the post office and spend a fortune on stamps to send everything away.
-Yesterday I went to another store I needed to exchange things at. I got some adorable Carter's clothes for the exchange, and then went through the clearance rack and got some more Carter's stuff - winter clothing for next year. Size 12 months. It was so cheap and so cute. I couldn't resist. By the time he'll need winter clothing, everything will be full price because it will actually BE winter. Carter's is my favourite brand. And I think this store, which I had never been in before, is my new favourite children's clothing store. It's waaaaay less expensive than I thought it was!
-I got my belly bandits in the mail yesterday. Size medium and small. I'm so happy they're here. I feel so much more confident about how I'll look after delivery now that I have these.
-I received a belated baby shower gift that included my change pad cover and carseat cover. Yay! The carseat cover isn't as thick as I thought it was... I'm not really sure what I'm going to do. I'd exchange it for a thicker one, but I don't have a gift receipt so I'd get the last sale price in the past 6 months, which won't give me much toward the nicer cover. I might just use a blanket underneath it, and basically just use the cover to protect the baby's face from the wind (since the cover will stay off the baby's head, as opposed to a blanket that would drape itself right over his face).
-Why do people give you clothes as a gift and completely take the tags off? I can see cutting off the price, but why take the tags off completely? It's just so rude. We just got a 3-6 month winter outfit. Here, I'll do the math for you: our baby will fit into it sometime from June to September. If the flippin tags were still on I could at least exchange it for another size, if not return it all together.
-There was a sale on diapers. We now have 1200 diapers in sizes 1 and 2. I calculated, and that's 4 months worth of diapers if the baby goes through 10 a day. I think I'm addicted to buying them, though. I keep looking through flyers for diaper sales. It's a bit ridiculous.
-We also have about 1500 wipes.
-Our health insurance through Justin's work is being a pain in the ass. They keep saying that I have other coverage when we try to put something through, even though we've cleared this up with them already! It's stressing me out.
-My kitchen table is an absolute mess and it's driving me nuts. I have thank you note paraphernalia, tax stuff, flyers, birth plans, and magazines on it. I don't know what to do with everything! I want it all gone, but I can't face trying to clean it up right now.
-Speaking of tax stuff, I need to do our taxes. Unfortunately, when I had the motivation and drive to do it, we didn't have all of our tax stuff. Now we do, and I don't want to do them anymore. I think it's because they're going to be more complicated this year than last year. This year we have health expenses and new tuition credits (as opposed to the past tuition tax credits I've been using for the past several years). I don't know if that stuff makes things more complicated.
-We have a busy weekend. On Saturday we have to drive 2 1/2 hours away for my nephew's 1st birthday party. There will be a ton of people there, so I'm not looking forward to it so much. It'd be better if it was just my family. Then on Sunday it's my soon-to-be-sister-in-law's bridal shower an hour away. The first of three, all of which I have to attend because I'm a bridesmaid. Boooo. I didn't make my bridesmaids come to all of my bridal showers!
-I want to buy some nursing camisoles, but I can't find any for a price I'm willing to pay. I guess I'll see if I can make it without before I invest. However, I'm a major camisole person. I wear one under everything. It's been driving me nuts that I haven't been able to fit into my pregnancy camisoles for months now. And almost all of my pre-pregnancy shirts require a camisole. So I don't know how I'll do without them. And I don't think my regular camisoles will work well for nursing, since they all have a built-in-shelf bra.
That's enough thoughts for now.
-Today is one of my two "don't-leave-the-house" days this week. I normally only get one of those, but this week I got two. I usually like these days, but I'm not sure how I feel about this particular one. I like when my "don't-leave-the-house" day is on a Monday. It makes the week seem shorter somehow.
-I'm done all the thank you notes from my baby showers. This is amazing! I am usually horrible with making myself sit down and write thank you notes, but I got about 50 of them done in a week and a half. Tomorrow I'll go to the post office and spend a fortune on stamps to send everything away.
-Yesterday I went to another store I needed to exchange things at. I got some adorable Carter's clothes for the exchange, and then went through the clearance rack and got some more Carter's stuff - winter clothing for next year. Size 12 months. It was so cheap and so cute. I couldn't resist. By the time he'll need winter clothing, everything will be full price because it will actually BE winter. Carter's is my favourite brand. And I think this store, which I had never been in before, is my new favourite children's clothing store. It's waaaaay less expensive than I thought it was!
-I got my belly bandits in the mail yesterday. Size medium and small. I'm so happy they're here. I feel so much more confident about how I'll look after delivery now that I have these.
-I received a belated baby shower gift that included my change pad cover and carseat cover. Yay! The carseat cover isn't as thick as I thought it was... I'm not really sure what I'm going to do. I'd exchange it for a thicker one, but I don't have a gift receipt so I'd get the last sale price in the past 6 months, which won't give me much toward the nicer cover. I might just use a blanket underneath it, and basically just use the cover to protect the baby's face from the wind (since the cover will stay off the baby's head, as opposed to a blanket that would drape itself right over his face).
-Why do people give you clothes as a gift and completely take the tags off? I can see cutting off the price, but why take the tags off completely? It's just so rude. We just got a 3-6 month winter outfit. Here, I'll do the math for you: our baby will fit into it sometime from June to September. If the flippin tags were still on I could at least exchange it for another size, if not return it all together.
-There was a sale on diapers. We now have 1200 diapers in sizes 1 and 2. I calculated, and that's 4 months worth of diapers if the baby goes through 10 a day. I think I'm addicted to buying them, though. I keep looking through flyers for diaper sales. It's a bit ridiculous.
-We also have about 1500 wipes.
-Our health insurance through Justin's work is being a pain in the ass. They keep saying that I have other coverage when we try to put something through, even though we've cleared this up with them already! It's stressing me out.
-My kitchen table is an absolute mess and it's driving me nuts. I have thank you note paraphernalia, tax stuff, flyers, birth plans, and magazines on it. I don't know what to do with everything! I want it all gone, but I can't face trying to clean it up right now.
-Speaking of tax stuff, I need to do our taxes. Unfortunately, when I had the motivation and drive to do it, we didn't have all of our tax stuff. Now we do, and I don't want to do them anymore. I think it's because they're going to be more complicated this year than last year. This year we have health expenses and new tuition credits (as opposed to the past tuition tax credits I've been using for the past several years). I don't know if that stuff makes things more complicated.
-We have a busy weekend. On Saturday we have to drive 2 1/2 hours away for my nephew's 1st birthday party. There will be a ton of people there, so I'm not looking forward to it so much. It'd be better if it was just my family. Then on Sunday it's my soon-to-be-sister-in-law's bridal shower an hour away. The first of three, all of which I have to attend because I'm a bridesmaid. Boooo. I didn't make my bridesmaids come to all of my bridal showers!
-I want to buy some nursing camisoles, but I can't find any for a price I'm willing to pay. I guess I'll see if I can make it without before I invest. However, I'm a major camisole person. I wear one under everything. It's been driving me nuts that I haven't been able to fit into my pregnancy camisoles for months now. And almost all of my pre-pregnancy shirts require a camisole. So I don't know how I'll do without them. And I don't think my regular camisoles will work well for nursing, since they all have a built-in-shelf bra.
That's enough thoughts for now.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
36.5 Week OB Appointment... Not Great
I was at the OB today and it was not such a great appointment. For starters, my blood pressure was 156/95. That is REALLY high. It concerned my OB (who never gets concerned about anything) enough to take my BP again himself. It was a little lower, but still high. But seeing as once again, I didn't gain any weight, there was no protein in my urine, and I'm already on weekly appointments anyway, we're not doing anything about it.
I've been having BP issues since 30 weeks. I've had several appointments where my BP was around 145/85. But my OB was never concerned about it. He never even mentioned it, in fact. I find this interesting, because everything I read on hypertension in pregnancy says that that IS a number to be concerned about. Whatever.
The best news (note the sarcasm) of the appointment was that I tested positive for Group B Strep last week. So now I have to be on IV antibiotics while I'm in labour and afterward. And who knows what's going to happen to the baby.
I just want to cry.
I've been having BP issues since 30 weeks. I've had several appointments where my BP was around 145/85. But my OB was never concerned about it. He never even mentioned it, in fact. I find this interesting, because everything I read on hypertension in pregnancy says that that IS a number to be concerned about. Whatever.
The best news (note the sarcasm) of the appointment was that I tested positive for Group B Strep last week. So now I have to be on IV antibiotics while I'm in labour and afterward. And who knows what's going to happen to the baby.
I just want to cry.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Getting Ready
Yesterday I went to Babies R Us to return some shower items and buy the rest of the things I wanted before the baby comes. I only ended up getting $40 back from the returns, which was kind of lame, but I guess it was better than nothing. I didn't have gift receipts for any of it, so I had to get the lowest sale price in the past 6 months.
Everything I bought was right off my registry, and it ended up being pretty expensive. It made me kind of annoyed that so many people completely ignored the registry and bought us things that we didn't need (or want) instead. I guess I just don't understand why people don't pay attention to the registry. Showers are supposed to be helpful to the parents. They're supposed to offset some of the gigantic cost that comes with having a baby. You spend all that time and effort researching products and putting a registry together so that people can actually help you out by buying the things that you need, and then half the people completely ignore it. And you end up spending a fortune on your own.
I bought:
2 car seat protectors (for under the carseats)
3 swaddlers
2 pack and play sheets
2 sets of scratch mittens
5 packs of 50 scented diaper disposal bags
3 packs of 6 washable nursing pads
1 pack of 60 disposable nursing pads
1 Mommy Hook (to put on the stroller handle to hold bags)
1 care kit with brush, comb, toothbrush, nail clippers, tweezers, thermometer, etc.
1 nursing cushion slipcover
1 jar of vaseline
1 carseat weathershield
It all came to a little over $200. I was shocked. I guess I wasn't adding things up in my head while I was shopping (like I normally do) because these were all necessities that had to be bought one way or another. Somehow I thought I was going to get out of there only paying like $100. Clearly the pregnancy is affecting my brain.
Thankfully I had $15 worth of coupons, $40 from the return, and $140 in gift cards. I only had to pay a little over $5 of our own money. But still, I was hoping to have been able to use those gift certificates for something else, like buying a small umbrella stroller to use in the mall when the baby is a bit older. Now we have no more gift cards!
There are still 7 registry items that have been bought that we haven't received yet. Some of them we can wait for, but one of them we need before the baby comes! It's our carseat cover, since the weather will obviously be very chilly when the baby comes. I'm not comfortable draping a blanket overtop of his face. I'm worried he'll suffocate on it. So I need that carseat cover. I'd buy it myself, but my registry says someone has already bought it for us. I hope it appears soon.
I'd also like someone to give us our change pad cover soon, since that was bought off our registry as well. It'd be kind of nice not to change our newborn on the cold material of the change pad.
Other things we can wait for, like the stroller weathershield, forehead thermometer, pack of 9 oz bottles, and the clothes people have bought that we're going to return anyway.
Tomorrow when I go into town I'm going to go to another store and return things. Unfortunately we haven't actually received all our gifts, because some people didn't make it to the shower this past Saturday and have been dropping gifts off at my inlaws. There are at least two sets of clothing that we haven't received yet that I know we're returning. But it's to the same store that the majority of our returns are going to, and seeing as I'm in so much pain, I don't really want to make that trip more than once. So I might wait before making the trip to Sears. But there is one clothing store I can go to in the meantime.
Just as an update, we literally have 30 0-3 month sleepers. If one more person buys us one I'm going to flip out.
Everything I bought was right off my registry, and it ended up being pretty expensive. It made me kind of annoyed that so many people completely ignored the registry and bought us things that we didn't need (or want) instead. I guess I just don't understand why people don't pay attention to the registry. Showers are supposed to be helpful to the parents. They're supposed to offset some of the gigantic cost that comes with having a baby. You spend all that time and effort researching products and putting a registry together so that people can actually help you out by buying the things that you need, and then half the people completely ignore it. And you end up spending a fortune on your own.
I bought:
2 car seat protectors (for under the carseats)
3 swaddlers
2 pack and play sheets
2 sets of scratch mittens
5 packs of 50 scented diaper disposal bags
3 packs of 6 washable nursing pads
1 pack of 60 disposable nursing pads
1 Mommy Hook (to put on the stroller handle to hold bags)
1 care kit with brush, comb, toothbrush, nail clippers, tweezers, thermometer, etc.
1 nursing cushion slipcover
1 jar of vaseline
1 carseat weathershield
It all came to a little over $200. I was shocked. I guess I wasn't adding things up in my head while I was shopping (like I normally do) because these were all necessities that had to be bought one way or another. Somehow I thought I was going to get out of there only paying like $100. Clearly the pregnancy is affecting my brain.
Thankfully I had $15 worth of coupons, $40 from the return, and $140 in gift cards. I only had to pay a little over $5 of our own money. But still, I was hoping to have been able to use those gift certificates for something else, like buying a small umbrella stroller to use in the mall when the baby is a bit older. Now we have no more gift cards!
There are still 7 registry items that have been bought that we haven't received yet. Some of them we can wait for, but one of them we need before the baby comes! It's our carseat cover, since the weather will obviously be very chilly when the baby comes. I'm not comfortable draping a blanket overtop of his face. I'm worried he'll suffocate on it. So I need that carseat cover. I'd buy it myself, but my registry says someone has already bought it for us. I hope it appears soon.
I'd also like someone to give us our change pad cover soon, since that was bought off our registry as well. It'd be kind of nice not to change our newborn on the cold material of the change pad.
Other things we can wait for, like the stroller weathershield, forehead thermometer, pack of 9 oz bottles, and the clothes people have bought that we're going to return anyway.
Tomorrow when I go into town I'm going to go to another store and return things. Unfortunately we haven't actually received all our gifts, because some people didn't make it to the shower this past Saturday and have been dropping gifts off at my inlaws. There are at least two sets of clothing that we haven't received yet that I know we're returning. But it's to the same store that the majority of our returns are going to, and seeing as I'm in so much pain, I don't really want to make that trip more than once. So I might wait before making the trip to Sears. But there is one clothing store I can go to in the meantime.
Just as an update, we literally have 30 0-3 month sleepers. If one more person buys us one I'm going to flip out.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Pregnancy and Pictures at 36 Weeks
How far along: 36 weeks
Total weight gain: 15 lbs since 8 weeks.
Stretch marks?: The tops of some of the stretch marks on my sides have grown a little bit, but not much since I first started mentioning it. And just in the past half a week I started to develop tiny stretch marks under my belly button in the middle of my tummy to go with the tiny little stretch marks on the top and bottom of my belly-button ring hole. They're itchy. I would really like Bambino to come early so that I can stop growing stretch marks. I made it so far with so little action in that area, and now right at the end it's happening!
Sleep: It's exceptionally brutal. I don't even want to talk about it.
Best moments this week: I had a baby shower on the 20th and on the 27th. I have an awesome time at both, and Bambino got some amazing gifts!
Food cravings: Junk food. Mainly Mars bars right now. I think this is partially to try and drown my pain and discomfort.
Sex: Boy
Labor signs?: I'm still about 2 cm dilated, at least 50% effaced, and have at least 50 Braxton Hicks everyday. Sometimes they are accompanied by crampiness through my lower abdomen and back. Often in the evenings I have regular contractions (every 3-5 minutes) for several hours at a time. The baby has also dropped even further.
New Symptoms: My new symptom this week is a very strong tingly/numb feeling on the top right side of my stomach right by my ribs (where Bambino usually has his bum). It feels like someone put a conductor from a Tens machine on my skin and turned it up really high. Other than that it's the same old stuff: insomnia, hip pain, pubic bone pain (gets worse almost everyday), baby's bum and feet in my ribs, dizziness, trouble breathing sometimes, the occasional leg or foot cramp (these have lessened), fatigue, and being exceptionally warm at night time.
Belly Button: Popped.
What I miss the most: I'm going with my answer from two weeks ago, because it's only more amplified now: I miss living pain free. I wish I was just your average uncomfortable pregnant person. I hate having to use crutches.
What I am looking forward to the most: Having my darling munchkin on the outside, and then a healed pelvis so I can sleep and walk like a normal human being.
Milestones: 36 weeks! We're in the Month of Bambino! Or it better be the month of Bambino. If April becomes the month of Bambino I'm going to be quite annoyed.
Total weight gain: 15 lbs since 8 weeks.
Stretch marks?: The tops of some of the stretch marks on my sides have grown a little bit, but not much since I first started mentioning it. And just in the past half a week I started to develop tiny stretch marks under my belly button in the middle of my tummy to go with the tiny little stretch marks on the top and bottom of my belly-button ring hole. They're itchy. I would really like Bambino to come early so that I can stop growing stretch marks. I made it so far with so little action in that area, and now right at the end it's happening!
Sleep: It's exceptionally brutal. I don't even want to talk about it.
Best moments this week: I had a baby shower on the 20th and on the 27th. I have an awesome time at both, and Bambino got some amazing gifts!
Food cravings: Junk food. Mainly Mars bars right now. I think this is partially to try and drown my pain and discomfort.
Sex: Boy
Labor signs?: I'm still about 2 cm dilated, at least 50% effaced, and have at least 50 Braxton Hicks everyday. Sometimes they are accompanied by crampiness through my lower abdomen and back. Often in the evenings I have regular contractions (every 3-5 minutes) for several hours at a time. The baby has also dropped even further.
New Symptoms: My new symptom this week is a very strong tingly/numb feeling on the top right side of my stomach right by my ribs (where Bambino usually has his bum). It feels like someone put a conductor from a Tens machine on my skin and turned it up really high. Other than that it's the same old stuff: insomnia, hip pain, pubic bone pain (gets worse almost everyday), baby's bum and feet in my ribs, dizziness, trouble breathing sometimes, the occasional leg or foot cramp (these have lessened), fatigue, and being exceptionally warm at night time.
Belly Button: Popped.
What I miss the most: I'm going with my answer from two weeks ago, because it's only more amplified now: I miss living pain free. I wish I was just your average uncomfortable pregnant person. I hate having to use crutches.
What I am looking forward to the most: Having my darling munchkin on the outside, and then a healed pelvis so I can sleep and walk like a normal human being.
Milestones: 36 weeks! We're in the Month of Bambino! Or it better be the month of Bambino. If April becomes the month of Bambino I'm going to be quite annoyed.
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